My first book (part 3).

Courtship

Mike’s mother said that his boss Tina got the personal interest in him. This way, she explained the source of his personal trouble: many cavils in the work process, often upbraiding talks in her office room.
Once, Mike said that it is necessary for Tina to marry.
‘Do it yourself if you are the best.’ She said seriously, accepting all the implications of her statement.
Mike took it seriously. And, whether he could behave the other way? He forbore from sexual life in the presence of the charming Natalie, whom she loved much. He did it because the flirt of Natalie had put him in too much of the humiliation if he would have continued to live in the ordinary way, as he did most of the time. His mind changed its natural schemes and models of reacting to the things around him. He wanted the love of a woman so much (in body and soul), that he decided that maybe Tina was his fate. He forgot Natalie because of the offence she caused to him by her humiliating attitude to him as it seemed to Mike. She had rejected all his offers of leaving her husband and connecting with Mike. So, Mike was an easy prey for Tina now. What she felt by the notorious feminine intuition.
Mike bought three scarlet roses in the market place and entered the door of the office. Tina was touched by it. It seemed that Mike would remember her eyes of the unwept tears his whole life. Still, she waited for the development. Mike also already anticipated how he would introduce her to the family of his brother Nick and his own mom. The days of sexual abstinence made Tina look full of shine and beauty. She had a new suit on and it made her especially attractive.
The other reason why Mike started the courtship to Tina was that he had had so many unanswered love feelings that an offer of matrimonial union from a woman caught him unawares. He knew that Tina exposed herself much by that ultimatum of courage, so Mike wanted to save her honor and make happy. In a word, Mike was crazy because of forbearance and that fact that he was declared sick by the doctor and given a permit to stay home saved him from that romance in the way it should have developed. He stayed home for almost three months and the question got from the agenda by itself. Mike had an excuse of his former craziness for eluding the continuation of the courtship to his boss Tina. It proved the providence existed, in the sense that it made all events come in their logical order.


A bottle of expensive Champaign

Mike excused himself from the job for the Saturday for some reason and went to taiga to work as an interpreter for a foreign hunter. It was almost an adventure for him. The boss of the business said that the client had waited in taiga for almost eight hours because the jeep had conked out.
When the foreigner got to the car of the boss at last to come home, Mike cracked a joke about Russian service.
‘I cannot say much bad about the Russian service. Eight hours of waiting is not a matter to say much about. Once I waited for a month in Columbia when they had left us on the bank of Amazon river and the boat was absent for that much. So, do not worry much about it.’
Then, Mike became quite a friend for Jorgen as was the name of the foreign hunter. He advised Mike not to study the American slang because it was not a matter of good manners in the real business to speak the slang. He gave a pair of magazines in English and five newspapers. All about economics, because he was an auditor by his profession. It was a real treasure for Mike, who studied English.
Jorgen bought ten mink skins for a scarf for his wife and had to accept the filling all the documents for the head of the musk deer. That animal had been killed by the guide with a “bandit shot” from a pistol, as was the expression of Jorgen because the guide had fired almost from the hip.
The boss paid five hundred rubles for Mike’s services of a translator. Mike was glad because the work included the sauna and a supper in the restaurant.
Mike bought an expensive bottle of foreign Muscat Champaign. He did it to bring it to the office and make an impression on Natalie, his colleague whom he had fallen in love with though she was much older than he was.
At the shop, the female vendor smiled when passed over the box with the expensive bottle, on account it was surely made for proving the love of the young man whom Mike was for a woman.
When they drank the Champaign in the office Mike was happy for the possibility to sit in the company of Natalie and drink the expensive beverage. He tried to guess if she understood that it was for her. He even happened to sit right next to Natalie and enjoyed her aura. All hardly could be finer.
The bottle of that Champaign was good in the way it was earned and good in the way it was consumed. Mike hardly could say which was better.


Bridge

It was a warm autumn evening. It was already dark. The wind played on golden and tawny leaves of the trees that gave their garments a ransom to the on-going cold weather. Mike and his friend Jack strolled on the Recreation Island. In the past it was full of side-show lots with small trains, cars and a big wheel that turned around to show the nature and the landscape all around. But now it was all dismantled and only the stadium functioned as the part of the former complex of recreation. The building that was previously a cinema theater was now occupied by a bodybuilding club. All in all, a feeling of desolation ruled all over the place.
Mike and Jack got near an old bridge that was a pedestrian one and the cars were not allowed to cross it. The piers of the bridge and its rails were written all over by some inscriptions like ‘Tina plus Tony equals the love.’ Some writings had a character of the advertisements and called for a blind date. Adolescent love played its game on the old metal bridge. But now all the letters and words were obscure and not readable.
The river carried its water beneath the bridge. It seemed that all the memories of the past were made away by that flow. Or on the contrary it brought about something from the past. It was a river of time and events that had happened not only here but also somewhere else and were strangely present by the calm spirit of the place that edged on for meditation and recalling what was best in your life.
Suddenly, Jack took out a cigarette and ignited it with a match. It was quite a surprise for Mike. Jack had always been a sportsman, run in the forest and pushed weights. He was a regular guy. The cigarette did not match with his image. It was something new. But, Jack did ignite the cigarette with the deftness of an old smoker that made it sure he played a Marlborough cowboy.
‘Come on, Jack. What has happened to you? Do you smoke?’ Mike was much impressed by his new image.
‘What’s in it?’ asked Jack to show he was already a hard core in some way.
‘But, it damages your health. Whether you are not a sportsman?’ asked Mike much in the doubt of the reality of what he had seen. ‘Come on, Jack. Don’t play a fool. It doesn’t match with you.’
Mike felt that all that smoking affair was part of a change in the soul of Jack as a result of some exterior influence. He knew that Jack was most of the time a jobless person and boiled mostly in his own juice: listened to the music he loved, mainly rock-n-roll, blues and country, all of American origin, read some books and was in a strong opposition to the world. It could not be the consequence of some trouble in the business, due Jack had no business. Surely, it was a love affair. Mike knew Jack had a girl whose name was Joan. Joan was not an ideal girl, she smoked herself and had a rich list of the former love affairs that made her be a big compromise with what the man anticipates in his life and dreams of. Surely, Jack had the natural feelings towards Joan, because it was his first steady girl after a long time. Really first if not to count how once Jack had been seduced by a girl who had committed it maybe to make fun of him and to show he was an ordinary man but had acted a snob. It was sure that loving Joan Jack tried to change himself to be more like her, because it would be too hard for him to support himself against the rotting influence of that world, on account he should have accepted the idea that Joan was a bad girl, not like he was himself. So, Jack got adapted to the new circumstances.
‘Jack, quit smoking. That’s simply funny.’ Mike said to somehow bring his friend off the brink of the slope or maybe an abyss if to consider it globally.
‘That’s Ok,’ Jack answered. ‘For example, Joan also smokes sometimes when gets nervous.’
‘So, you heal your nervous system. Don’t make me laugh, Jack. Joan doesn’t make good if she smokes.’ Said Mike in full assurance that it was right what he had said.
‘You don’t understand. Joan is a special woman. She goes all the year around in the same pair of down-heeled boots. And…’ Jack had a hesitation for a moment.
‘Come on, Jack. She’s the same as the other women. She wants that somebody should take care of her. And, she has the same desires and needs.’ Mike tried to disillusion his friend.
Jack did not answer.
After all Jack and Joan parted. When Mike asked the reason Jack said that he thought that Joan would accept such kind of relations, just to have fun when they were still young. But, Joan wanted something more serious. Then, Jack always grudged that Joan gave herself to her first man Edgar without reserve and asked nothing in return. Probably the days when Joan could play in love passed away and Jack was not her chosen one. Really, it was Edgar, Jack’s friend himself, who acquainted Jack with Joan. What Joan accepted with Edgar, just a love free of any matrimonial prospects, she did not accept with Jack. Edgar was married and Joan was a call girl for him when he was tired of his marital life. He would just buy some stuff, take Joan into his car and have sex. But, somehow it did not work with Jack. Maybe for Jack it was a clear example that modern woman divides her ideal man into a first man for whom she gives what is best and almost for free, then some occasional men and after all somebody that should take care of her on a financial basis and make a family. Jack did not accept it.

September 11th

The man from USA pronounced the words with much of assurance in what he said, ‘I say it to you not only on my own but on behalf of the very important people in our country. You will have no harem. The Pentagon will not allow it to you.’
First, Mike could not understand what a geometric figure had to do with his life because the man pronounced the Pentagon in the Russian language, ‘Which pentagon?’ he asked.
‘You don’t know what pentagon? The Pentagon, the military department of the USA. If you try to infringe the civil rights we will interfere.’ The man promised.
Mike felt that he was a small person in that world. He saw how easily his own rights for the equitability might be left without protection. He recalled that he had invented many things for the world including the West and he knew they simply did not want to pay back. He had brought an idea to some programmers from USA that two computers could be connected by the telephone wires for the information to be transmitted provided only for the frequency of the signals not to be the same as the frequency of the sounds. Thus, he had conceived the idea of Internet. Then, he recalled how he had invented notebook computer by the simple idea that the same screen as that for a calculator but a bigger one might substitute the TV set like monitor and make the computer compact and able to be opened and closed like a notebook. It was not that Mike thought about all it at that moment. He simply had enough time to feel he was cheated. Mike knew that his inventions cost much and that he will suffer in the future because of his inventions because the intellect and soul should experience the pressure if the life of the other people was made easier. And, now that man said that the American not only did not want to pay back but also to persuade the Russian not to pay Mike in their own turn. Mike felt as the wrath awoke in his soul.
‘Then, I will break that pentagon as a ruler and there will be no more pretences. Ok?’ Mike said.
‘Boy, the problem is not with the Pentagon only, I work in the World Trade Center and all the personnel is indignant with that idea of yours. We will not let you have the way to finance your wicked plans, boy. We will declare you a personal embargo. You will have no chances to preach your foolish doctrine.’ The man said.
‘I will find a way,’ Mike said.
‘I say to you, boy, until the World Trade Center stands on Manhattan you will not have any harem,’ the man assured.
For Mike all was clear. He believed in curse, words and swears. He understood and felt it trough thoroughly that his personal survival and happiness was only possible if he broke the vicious circle of Pentagon and destroyed the twin towers of World Trade Center. Mike knew that he could not stay without a harem and revenge the USA in the nuclear conflict with the new weaponry he had helped to invent. It would be senseless because he would forbear and suffer only if he knew he would have a harem. The simple survival was not worth so much anguish as there was ahead for Mike. Still, he wanted to survive and be happy. That is why he declared his personal jihad to USA because he knew it was a way to win or to die. He never hoped that somebody would add to his spiritual war against USA. But, then Saddam Hussein said that he would stop the internecine war between Iran and Iraq and begin a war against USA even if it would cost him his life. He said it in his personal talk with Mike when he arrived to recruit Mike to serve in his army promising him a harem. After that Usama bin Laden also consented to unite with Mike in his jihad against USA and let the Soviet army withdraw securely from Afghanistan.
‘You simply do not write directly in your book that you began the jihad against USA first alone and persuaded us to add to it. It’s not noble for a Muslim man to make it only to follow the example of a ten years old boy,’ he said.
The Al-Qaida, Afghanistan and Iraq were the only active alleys for Mike in his personal jihad to USA. From that moment, Mike knew it was no more a jihad for him. It would have been a jihad only if he had stayed alone but now even if he took part in the preparation of the terrorist acts against USA it was not a jihad in that he would surely survive. He was not a Palestine activist, a whole country stood for his support. The Russian intelligence office sanctioned the deal with Iraq, Afghanistan and Al-Qaida. Of course, the Muslim stood up for a righteous man whom Mike was surely in their eyes. Mike had also a personal authority among the people. But, the main argument was the oil and gas. It was a simple idea that the oil prices should be raised up. It was not profitable for the Arab to make war against each other or against Russia, much more profitable was to make war against USA for the economic profit. And, Iraq, Afghanistan and Al-Qaida were first in their will to redeem their faults before the Arab world. As well as Mike remembered it afterwards, to blow the twin towers and Pentagon with the airbuses seized by the terrorists was his idea. He wanted to die in a personal jihad against USA not to suffer in the future. But it turned out not to be possible because the other people were ready to wage a jihad for whom it was more natural. And, nobody would revenge it to Mike because Russia would cause a damage for that in the nuclear conflict that was ahead due Mike was the inventor of the new rockets and anti-locators. So, Mike had to live and leave it to Al-Qaida, Afghanistan and Iraq to lead the spiritual war against the USA and West according to the targets defined by Mike himself.
Then, there was much fuss when the American knew what waited for them ahead.
‘Could you tell me what terrorist acts the Arab plan against USA? You could prevent that. You could help many people not to become the innocent victims of that.’ The American woman demanded of Mike when they got reconciled.
‘I cannot tell it,’ Mike said, ‘they might kill me as a traitor.’
After that in the KGB office, the officer asked Mike if he was ready to cancel what he had begun.
‘Them Americans will resume their positions concerning me once they know that I gave in. And, it will be even worse than in the beginning. And, I do not want to lose the friends, the people who helped me in a difficult moment.’ Mike said, he meant the Arab.
‘I’m glad that you understand that,’ the officer said.
And, the personal matter of Mike turned out to be a politic problem. The Russian wanted to punish the USA and some other Western countries that they had financed the Nazi Germany to have made a war against the Soviet Union with the latent support of the capitalist world. Mike knew only about a pair of his relatives that had perished in the war against Nazis, and they were the men. But, he understood those who sanctioned that in Moscow, whose female relatives had died under the bombs of the Nazis and been shot by the SS detachments. The USA did not know much about the war. The American financed the war or led it on the territory of the other countries but the American society did not experience the war on their own lives much. So, the Russian wanted to bring the notion of the war closer to the souls of the USA citizens. As for Mike himself he knew he could not leave the affair because then the Russian would not have respected him any more, the Arab would not have helped the second time and the American would have killed him in vengeance for an attempt to threaten the USA. So, to participate in committing the terrorist acts was more secure than to refuse from it. Then, Mike forgot about it. He recalled it only once when he was already the student of the law school and it made him formally and legally responsible for the September 11th but it was impossible to prove his guilt. It gave him the sense of personal importance that did not last more than two days. Then, when it happened he condemned the terrorists for that act. But, when he recalled he had originated all it he felt that he had participated in something important. It made him even feel merry. But, then he was depressed that he could not be the alley of the USA because the last did not want to accept his right for a harem he had paid for, survival and happiness. He especially regretted that he was no more an alley of that American singer to whom he had proposed to be his alley after Mike had killed the deputy of the sheriff in his town. He pitied that to be a politician and restore himself in the society cost him and the other people so much. Still, he knew he was not first to become the conflict.

America

Mike loved America very much. It was what was associated with the freedom, equitability, economical wellbeing and security. He dreamt of America and wanted to be friendly with it. But, one day he met the other America. He knew from some people that the personnel of the World Trade Center were vaccinated with the vaccines that had to do with the experiments on the human being, maybe the soldiers of USA. The last were the same unfortunate people as Mike himself was. Really, Mike did not take serious the attempts of these men to interfere into his life and prohibit him to have a harem. It was a stupid idea. Mike knew he was a goods that would be demanded. But, they said that they would use his blood for the vaccinations also, and he was worried. Mike knew that one day they would be infectious and the society might accuse Mike himself that he had given his blood to the people that would abuse of it and use it not to survive but have more pleasure and die. Mike was afraid of that most of all. They wanted to pass the buck on him and say he gave the bad blood, which was not corresponding to the truth. Mike gave much more chance to them than they got from the other sources of vaccination. Still, he was part of it and Mike should solve that problem. They not only did not want to survive by a sex forbearance and harem scheme but they also wanted to infect the other people and die. Mike knew he should take part in the plot that would surely arise to exterminate that people in the time they would be dangerous. Otherwise, they would say he himself wanted to let the other people be infected. Mike knew that such a thing was possible only in USA with its private big business that could afford to buy the military style vaccines. The problem would arise in the same time as in the USA army and Iraq and Afghanistan that had most surely participated in the experiments with the human donors of the vaccines and had shared the profits of such experiments. Now, they could kill the people that did not want to forbear but to fornicate only if there was a war. It was the same for the American soldiers that had been vaccinated and the Iraqi citizens. To make such murders was possible only during the war. That is why Mike knew that the September 11th and the war in Iraq and Afghanistan on the part of USA was justified and well grounded. The CIA had allowed the Al-Qaida to blow up the twin towers only to kill the infected businessmen that had bought the vaccines on their own while the days of grace had ended and they had become contagious. It was only to have a chance to make the USA army come through the war for the sick and dangerous to be killed. The professional soldiers had been paid the money and vaccinated against the possible bacteriological war only to forbear and survive. If some had chosen to die, it had been their choice: not to suffer but be murdered. They were mostly sick and went to the army to die but were given a chance but did not avail of it. It was fully their fault. The same was for Iraq and Afghanistan that needed the war to kill the infectious and dangerous who had gotten the access to the human donor vaccines many years ago. Once, in his childhood, an American politician had offered Mike to write a book about that and share the responsibility with the American government. Mike had consented and having taken part in blowing up the twin towers and international department of Pentagon he had been a patriot of USA. More than those that had not wanted to forbear of sex and survive but to die and had envied him due he had aspired to have a harem and live long. Though it was paradoxical and sounded strange.

The sense of responsibility

Mike had heard from a man that the personnel of the World Trade Center had been vaccinated with the military vaccines. And, his blood also would be used to vaccinate the people. Then, he met a man from the twin towers and the talk started.
‘You should also forbear to acquire the immunity or else you may become contagious when the microbes multiply and their balance with the antibodies turns negative to make the infections receive the strength,’ Mike said.
‘And, they will give us the harems?’ the man asked with a smile of neglect.
‘There are so many sick women in your country and those women that had been vaccinated,’ Mike argued.
‘What if we won’t?’ the man asked.
‘Then, they will kill you all,’ Mike said.
‘But, they will kill you also because it was your contagious blood with which we were vaccinated. Do you like it?’ The American man said.
Mike got really afraid that they might make him guilty because these people had been vaccinated with his blood and did not want to forbear but to fornicate and become contagious and dangerous for the rest of the society. They could accuse him that in the search of lucre he gave his blood to the occasional people who abused of it to cause the damage to the society. He was frightened of that. The CIA could revenge him. Thus, he decided to help CIA to solve that problem for it to look like a terrorist act and allow the government to send the army to the war to dispose of the infectious and dangerous. It was serious. It was plague, cholera, Ebola and other sicknesses that could take strength and cause an outbreak of death from infections. Mike knew that the CIA would not allow the twin towers and the international department of Pentagon to be blown up by the terrorists alone. And, the terrorists would not be the occasional ones. He waited for somebody like Al-Qaida to arrive and invite him to participate in that for more legitimacy of the operation. But, Mike knew that it would have been a deadly insult to the CIA if the twin towers had been blown up, for example, by very much explosives brought to the place by a truck. It was necessary to let the CIA to commit its own deadly blow to those who abused of the charity to the detriment of the society. That is why it was necessary to use the airbuses to flow into the twin towers for the CIA to accomplish its ultimate jurisdiction. Which was to blow up the buildings by mining them up while they would not fall down from the hits of the airbuses because of too much steel and concrete. The public would doubt and understand the truth in the end but the doubt as to the other conclusion would remain. That is why Mike simply was ready to accomplish his own role and advise the people how it should be done because the vaccines originated from his blood also. Of course, it would be done that way or other but Mike wanted to have the merits before the CIA and other intelligence offices of the West because he would marry the foreign girls. Still, it was a cheekiness to originate all that because it was the prerogative of the CIA. But, Mike began that because he wanted to get acquitted of his business of selling his blood. He thought about his own life. All the same, when they offered him to participate in extermination of the knights of the Saint Michael order, the members of the special forces detachments of the West, he consented. He doubted if he had done it because what he remembered was mixed up with the dreams. And, how he was able to stand against the machineguns and sniper rifles of the professionals was a secret for him. He only remembered that in one of the critical moments the helicopter had hung in the air in the night and the projector lamp had been lit to spotlight him. He had first shot into the lamp and when its remainders lit the contours of the sniper he had shot into him to make him fall down off the helicopter. If he did the same well the rest of the affair it was natural that he had killed many knights and stayed alive himself. The CIA promised to forgive him for his initiative to solve the interior problems of USA and interfere without the necessary sovereignty for that affair. Mike stayed alive and was acquitted. But, as he understood it himself he was acquitted not of the terrorist acts even if they coincided with the intentions of CIA but of his charitable bargain to sell his own blood that brought such a deplorable final to the personnel of the twin towers. However, Mike also hoped that it would be counted as merits for him before the USA. But, Mike pitied that the women would also die. But, they knew the donors of the vaccines had died and had not been given a chance to become the fathers with the necessary immunity, which thing Mike did not want for himself. So, these women were guilty also that they stayed without the prospective fathers with a good immunity to heal them by the pregnancy like it would be with Mike and his wives. They had bought the vaccines and thus voted for the death of the prospective fathers. The democracy was not better than the Soviet system in solving that problem. The task of Mike’s life had become to prevent such things in the future by his own example of the survival.

CIA agent

It was very bold for Mike to think that he would revenge for the suffering and death of the American soldiers and prisoners that had died for the preparation of the strong vaccines against the heavy sicknesses. USA was a country of capitalism, big money and big private orders. Mike knew that the whole organizations of the private business ordered the military vaccines intended to defend against the bacteriological weaponry. He knew it from a sure source of information. He knew it from the businessmen themselves who had boasted about it. Mike knew what had led those soldiers and prisoners that had died in the military laboratories. They knew that those that would be vaccinated would also die when the days of grace would be over. That is why they had suffered but only enough to make as many people as possible to die of the vices of the vaccines. But, Mike was another sort of donor. He wanted to live and have many wives and children. His blood was better but it also was dangerous if the people who would be vaccinated would not also fast at least for some time. It was natural that the CIA and KGB might impute him the guilt of the other people. That is why he was afraid. He wanted to help the American society to solve that matter the same way as they said he had done with the Russian when he had hypnotized an operator of the Chernobyl atomic station. It was for him to make a wrong action in the management of the reactor to get rid of the vaccinated and now dangerous people in the chemical troops of the Soviet army. He wanted to have the merits before the USA and Russia for him not to be imputed if somebody would avail of the vaccination of his blood the wrong way. He knew the truth and he was afraid for the main part of the American society who might become the victim of the plague, cholera or some other heavy infectious sickness. With the professional army that was totally vaccinated it was simple. They might be sent to the war for the sick and dangerous to die. But, with the private people it was more complex. The CIA alone could not solve that problem. That is why the first step Mike intended was to accomplish the terrorist acts that would help get rid of the vaccinated and now infectious people in the business organizations that had used the military vaccines for their personnel. First, Mike arranged with an American man whose relative had died in the military laboratories to blow up the business center in Oklahoma-City. He knew that the personnel of that organization had been vaccinated. What was the motive of those businessmen and financiers that paid the money for the other people to be tortured and killed in the military laboratories? They probably were already sick with something. Then, they wanted to pass less time in sicknesses and have more sexual partners and better business with the privileges given by the State for their participation in such a program. The natural result of which would be that some would die and some would survive and have the better immunity to share it with the rest of the society. Still, it was not a complete lottery. Those who chose to have pain first and fun after would survive, but those who wanted first fun then death would be killed. But, when Mike arranged with the Al-Qaida to make away with the personnel of the World Trade Center and International Department of Pentagon, it became necessary to inform the CIA about it, though not in the full details. It was necessary for the CIA to have chance to save those that showed good results in the blood tests fasting and suffering, the responsible citizens and also to get rid of those that were dangerous for the State and society being not responsible. All in all, it was humane to let such people die fast instead of much pain and inevitable death when the suffering would give no prospect for the better. It was the last grace and Mike was a headman. He understood it. But, he could not inform the CIA through the private persons because such people could avail of the knowledge the wrong way. And, there could have been much noise in the newspapers and TV. What the American society needed was the rumors from a reliable source like the CIA. Those who wanted to die, maybe because they had not a better chance or were afraid of suffering and fasting, would stay to work in those organizations. Due, they would be killed all the same on the individual basis by the CIA or Mafia when they would get out of the crowd of the fellow participants of the vaccination. The other people that chose to live would change the job. Those who knew they had no better choice would get a job in the twin towers or other organization that had taken part in the vaccination. So, Mike informed the CIA through the intermediary that he was ready to name the future targets of the terrorist acts if he would meet a sure agent of CIA. That way he met a man, who showed him a document that testified he was a CIA agent and Mike informed him about the targets of the terrorist acts and approximate time of their accomplishment. It was more than ten years before the main acts of September 11th.


Future clons

‘I wanted to seize an airbus taking avail of a office knife and lead it on the Pentagon but them Americans will count me out,’ Mike said.
He wanted to make his countenance firm but the treacherous tears began to drop out of his eyes. He could not help weeping. But, then he resumed the firmness and rubbed his eyes.
‘I wanted to come to the USA and get enlisted into a pilot school for short courses and then to seize an airbus to blow up the Pentagon. But, I know that they will keep me under observance if I come to the USA and they will not allow me to come to the USA because I said to that man I will blow up the Pentagon myself.’ Mike said.
‘But, why the Russian do not defend you?’ Usama bin Laden demanded.
‘I’ve invented the new rockets and the Russian want to make a nuclear war against USA to destroy their ballistic rockets with the anti-missile rockets and the start platforms with the ordinary ballistic rockets and to make them pay the contribution. All they may do is to blow up an American city with a nuclear bomb and the ordinary citizens might die. It would not be right. But, they want to interfere to my life and not to let me have a harem just because they do not want to pay me for my inventions, I mean the people from the Wall Street. Now, the Russian may leave me without support just to show that I made wrong helping the American with my inventions.’ Mike said.
‘And, they would not let you enlist into a pilot school in Russia?’ the Arab asked.
‘No, they will not let me study in it because of my health. Who need the crazy pilots?’ Mike said.
Usama thought about something for a moment then said, ‘We will find twenty good boys for that affair. But, you should promise to support the Arab States when you will be a politician.’
Mike felt as a fatherless child who found a sudden source of comfort in an adult man.
‘I will pay for clonning those boys that in the future life they could be the traders. I will say that they should give the vaccine to the women that will be pregnant with them. I’ve arranged with the KGB that I will eat up the real bacteriological weaponry when I will be old and have a good immunity. It’s because I ate the vaccines against the bacteriological weaponry. Thus, the otherwise barren women may have the babies from the clonned ones when they will be vaccinated with the blood of my new mother when I will be in her womb. I will help those boys with the vaccine and treat them as brothers in the future life when I also will be clonned. You should find the boys the same as me. To whom they say they will not be healthy. That they will be crazy and have no healthy kids. I will give them the chance for a new life when they will be the healthy men.’ Mike promised.

A try to turn into Islam

It was when Mike was ten. The chieftain of Al-Qaida asked why Mike did not want to turn a Muslim.
‘I promised to be baptized into the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. So, I cannot betray them.’ Mike explained. ‘But, I will espouse the Islam on my own because it is not necessary to be baptized to be a Muslim. I will read the Koran.’
‘But, whether they did not leave you without the support them Christians?’ The Arab asked.
‘What Christians?’ Mike demanded.
‘Those that work in the intelligence office and Kremlin?’ Usama bin Laden asked.
‘Those ones? How they can be the Christians? They put more value on Judas than on Christ.’ Mike said and told to the man that they would give to the man who wrote the denunciation paper against Mike’s father much more than to Mike’s family directly, though it was Mike who had eaten the military vaccines pills and would fast of sex and suffer many years. ‘But, the Orthodox priests are of no concern here. On the contrary, they helped me.’
The Arab asked no more questions on that.


Interrogation

After Mike had met with the Arab from Al-Qaida, they called him to KGB and offered him to tell all he knew about that.
‘Even if I tell you what I know about the planned terrorist acts, them Arab will commit some new ones,’ Mike said.
‘What will they commit without you, if you won’t advise them?’ the officer doubted.
‘Tell us or we may torture you to know the truth,’ the other officer offered.
‘Then, you should torture me very much. All in all, even if you torture me very much I will not experience as much pain as there are waiting for me in the future when I will forbear of sex.’ Mike calmly said.
The officers looked into the eyes to one another, then one of them said, ‘In such a case the Arab may blow us up themselves.’

Girl

It was when Mike was about eleven. A man began to accuse Mike to be a terrorist because of his threats that the twin towers would be blown down and said that an occasional small girl that would not be vaccinated and make a wrong choice would become the victim of the September 11th.
‘She will be saved. I will pray and fast for that even if specially bring her in the twin towers on that day,’ Mike said.
Of course, he knew that the rumors that would circulate in the American society for many years would make the occasional people leave the twin towers and those who would seek the death to get a job there. Still, he was afraid that somebody could accuse him that the occasional people would die. That is why he suffered much and fasted that his prayers should be heard by the God and the occasional not guilty girl would not die in the falling of the twin towers. In his visions of the future he saw what he would watch on the TV about her saving and felt strong pain. Then, after many years he believed that his prayers and fasting helped the not guilty girl not to perish.



Teenager girl

Mike went on the street. It was a sunny summer day. But, the heat was tolerable, owing it was close to the evening time. He passed by a building. At this moment, he saw Inna and Tina to lead by their hands a small girl.
‘Wait. Come here.’ Inna said to Mike.
Mike stopped, then turned left to come to meet the girls. He went close to them all.
‘Remember him,’ Inna said to the girl.
‘What’s for?’ asked Mike.
‘That’s not for you, that’s for her,’ Inna said…
After Mike understood he would not be successful with the girls of his age because he had no financial back up from his parents to cover possible expenses on a love affair, he decided that he should earn his own property to pay for a girl. He thought he would not marry till thirty or thirty-five. It seemed to be a good idea to have a young wife. Usually, the men who seek such an arrangement have fun in the youth with occasional women and that’s why they get married late. But, Mike thought of himself as an honest man. So, he decided to forbear of any sex at all till that time. For him, it was an evidence of personal strength and independence from feminine abuse.
Once he said about it to a man in the hospital, where Mike was on the grounds of backbone ailing. They played chess with that man.
‘But, you won’t find a girl according to you then,’ the man said.
It was a kind of statement that put in doubt Mike’s idea of matrimony. That by his wealth he should acquire at the age of thirty-five, he would attract a young woman. It seemed to be a clever scheme. Then, there would be less probability of getting tired of the woman as it usually happens when a woman gets old in a more or less equal marriage. So, this kind of conjugal strategy seemed to be equitable for Mike’s case of young poverty.
But, when Mike got a steady income after he had found a job in a state office, it looked as if he already had some possibility to act his matrimonial scheme. Especially, after he first saw this teenager girl. It was on a cottage street. Really, it was a den of young people who tried soft drugs, booze and the rest. But for Mike, she did not lose her attractiveness because of it, in that Mike was not yet experienced in understanding what a woman was like. It did not stop Mike, even when he saw the teenager girl to lie on the lap of a boy her age. It seemed to Mike to be just a he-did-not-know what. Simply, he put up with it. Anyhow, it was not plain sex. He forgave her.
He always saw her on his way from the work, due her house was on his way home. She often sat on the benches of the court with her girlfriend. Once, Mike stopped and sat on the bench. Some talk on life ensued. Mike was a bit apprehensive that the girl might somehow get in the know that he was sick. But, he hoped his professional skills would compensate it. So, he decided to try his chances.
Mike played the role of an elder friend as he understood afterwards. He would speak on the importance of an industrious study for a good career and access to the university education. He gave her advices on how to live. Once, he invited her to show an English language computer course in the office room of an acquaintance of his. It was a chance for a kiss and hug. But, Mike waited for some initiative from the girl as he had seen her in the street to do with a boy of her age. The more so, Mike was afraid that they would call him to the answer if he rushed the matters with her. He was afraid of it. To add more, he was sick. So, all he might do was to show his professional advantages for her to admit him closer to her young life, maybe to get acquainted with her parents. Anyway, Mike did not want to start a sexual relationship very fast. All in all, he made friends with the girl. But, then she began to meet with a teenager boy. It was a crash for Mike. He realized that he would have no chances to have a regular relationship with a girl to start a family life. So, Mike decided to simply have fun before he died during the next bout of the sickness. He decided just to find a girl in a bar and have sex with her, no matter if she was a harlot. Thus, Mike met Julia. It seemed to Mike that it was the treason of the teenager that bereft him of a normal matrimonial life any man should hope for. It delivered him into the hands of a harlot as Julia stated herself to be.
Then, they promised Mike a job in a big metal company. And, he somehow informed the teenager girl on it. Tina, as was the name of the teenager girl, showed her interest in having Mike as a tutor in the study of English. It might be a start for a relationship. But, Mike had Julia already, and he did not want to take a girl from the world as they said about girls, who did not believe in God, as they told about themselves.
Once, when Mike strolled with Julia on an asphalt lane along the street on which Tina’s condominium stood, he met Tina with a boy. Tina looked at him and tears stood in her eyes. It was the glance of a loving woman. Mike did not understand why it all turned out this way. Maybe, Tina was not already a virgin when he had met her at the very beginning? She told about a friend, who died in a car accident. Then - about one, whom she had seen off into the army. Was the time passed in the den of young people damaging to her honor? Mike did not know.
A year after their acquaintance Mike met her and they strolled on her way to the music school. Mike talked with her about what life was. He had an idea that through his straining work he would finally acquire all the girls he loved in his life. Inga, Jane, the first Tina, and the other Tina. He thought that they would be disappointed in their relations with their former men and Mike would get a harem in the last. He counted this simply on economic basis. By the theory of compensation he should receive them in the last. Was this theory based on Bible, or physics it did not matter. The only obstacle was that the boys could benefit of the labors of their parents. On this grounds Mike had few chances to overcome. For example, twenty years of work for the well being of a son, is more than five years of Mike’s hard work. However, he believed in his love to the girls. He thought he would be able to get them in the end.
‘Do you think you will be able to hold out for much long?’ he asked of Tina. ‘I know a girl who said that when I get a jeep, my own advocate office and a fur coat for her, she would become my lover. She won’t keep out for long, the same as you.’
Tina did say nothing on it.
‘I have to go to the courses,’ she said…
When Mike arranged it with Inga about their future, he asked if she would bare him some children, provided she would be his lover. She refused.
‘Ok,’ conceded Mike, ‘Then, I will be a godfather to them.’
After that he called Inga the god-sister. He recalled it now after Tina went into the building of the music school. Was it a pass into his dream? He hoped for it.
He met Tina once in the winter. He gave her some books and magazines in English. She claimed she wanted to be an interpreter. First, she said she would study in Krasnoyarsk, then it changed for Saint Petersburg.
Tina’s most often pronounced saying was ‘The troubles happen.’ She would say it on some cases when Mike would relate on the non-equitability of life. She would often wrinkle her nose as the women do if they are not glad on something. She certainly had Southern blood in her. But, on the question if she was brought up by her father she did not answer positively. By her tales about her life in her family, it could be inferred that she had no dad at all. She was swarthy and made the blood boil by her pretty looks and the energy of feminine sexuality. She was slender, had beautiful legs, the strong muscles of which did not prevent her from being called slim. Mike always loved strong legs in girls. Big calves, and strong hips. It all turned him on. Tina was beautiful.
The following spring, when the sun began to shine in its full strength, Mike went on his way home from the center of the town. He decided to go through the court of the condominium where Tina lived. He went to it, and sat on a bench opposite to the porch of the staircase where Tina lived. He waited for a chance to see his love. The times when Tina often sat on the benches of the condominium passed. She was already too old for it. So, Mike hoped only for a chance to see her by a glimpse. Tina went out of the entrance. She came on the lane toward the school by the kindergarten. After some hesitation Mike went to follow her but by more direct way. He saw how she went away.
Mike recalled how he tried to get in touch with her in the square when there was a disco dance meeting. Tina bought a bottle of beer. Mike tried to approach her, but she made away as though Mike was some pest. It was a pity.
A time Mike tried to find out if Tina really had a boy. He went to the entrance of her condominium and sat on the bench. A boy sat on the bench also.
‘Listen, bloke, can you tell me if…Do you know a girl whose name is Tina that lives on the third floor?’ Mike put the question.
‘Yea, I know her,’ the boy answered.
‘Has she got a boyfriend?’ asked Mike.
‘Yea, she comes around with a boy,’ he said.
Last time Mike saw her was when he was with Julia in a shop buying a new phone as the birthday present to Mike’s mom. Mike was in a section where they sold the phone apparatuses. Tina passed by with her mother. She looked past Mike as though he had no personal interest for him. Mike could not understand why it was so with women.

Summer love

Mike stood in front of Katherine, who had just kissed with the boys from senior group of the kindergarten.
‘You are a real harlot. It was a mistake I thought you were an honest girl.’ Mike announced.
‘So, you’re sorry that you stood up for me that time?’ Katherine asked.
It was hard for Mike to answer. He had defended not just a girl but her life. He had risked his life in a knife scrap. He kept silence.
‘All know that you will be sick when a young man. And, I will seduce your friend Jack Vodoff because he will be your friend for that time. Now, you think I am a slut?’ Katherine asked.
Mike could find nothing reasonable to answer…
That day Jack was sad. He told about his summer love affair with Katherine. She demanded Jack to accompany her to one of her acquaintance to ask a debt from him. When they reminded the debtor about the money to be paid, he led her to her home. When in the entrance of the building, she kissed Jack and said that she wanted him. Next day she had sex with Jack on the bench in the dark night street. Katherine always had a reputation of a girl with fantasy as they said about her. It was a seduction of the pure sense of it. In following day Jack went to meet her with a heart full of anticipation. He invited her to make a ride to the wilderness to have a kind of picnic. Katherine was negative to that idea. Thus, Jack felt heavy on his heart.
When they parted with Mike after Jack had told the whole story, he said. ‘You know, Mike. All is over, but the cats scratch upon my soul.’
Surely, Jack was in a loss about what to think on it. Most probably, he felt humiliated. Or, on the contrary, he thought he was such a macho. Hardly, he ever got an idea that it was a payment on behalf of Mike. It was a clearing of a debt for the saved life. For that time when Mike had to choose between the life of the girl and her father and uncles.

Whores

Once Mike was on a business trip to Krasnoyarsk with the director of his firm and the driver. The last two were the pals and passed the fun time together. When they all arrived to the hotel (it was not an expensive hotel), a woman approached them to ask if they wanted some girls. Nobody wanted girls so on. Then, they went to the wrong floor and had to come down the steps of the staircase to go to the right place. At that time a group of whores went up to propose themselves for a choice. Mike caught by his eyes a young whore. She was blond and pretty. Mike felt as the hormones played in his body when he passed by this girl. Mike had enough money to buy her. Just to take out the money and pay. At that time Mike did not have a steady woman. He was lonely. And, in his personal terms it meant he did not sleep with women. But, it was not reasonable to pay a sum of money for an hour of sex that would be enough to provide for much more fun if Mike had a girlfriend. Mike was a student yet. It would be easy to date a girl the same as this harlot without real exposure. But, Mike had fallen in love with Tina first, then Jane, and Inga in the end. Three unhappy feelings is too much not to change views on the life. First, Mike thought that it would be easier to buy whores for some fun. A whore does understand she is no girlfriend. And, really, you pay money for the freedom. But, that is too expensive to sleep with a whore. A lonely man can afford it two or three times a month. That doesn’t make much sense. So, Mike kept to the principle.
Then, Mike saw how the girls went down. They laughed. It was a kind of adventure for them. It was prestigious, they knew they were pretty enough to attract clients. Mike could not understand why so beautiful girls traded an ideal love for this trade of lust. But are not other girls he knew the same? Of course, the moralists would say that the whores were worse. But, does it matter for what a woman sells her, for cash or salmon fish or a free ride on a car? For Mike it did not make a difference. On the contrary, the monetary profit does provide for a subsistence. So, for the woman to sell herself for the cash seemed to Mike to be somewhat more justified. It was not just for mere sexual pleasure. The woman did it because of the monetary need. However, it was a treason in respect of an ideal love any woman pretends to aspire to. Mike did all to live to get an ideal love. It had cost him much. But, he persevered in it. On the contrary, those girls rejected it. They preferred money.
When they got into the number, the director and the driver had a booze party. When they got drunk enough, they began to propose Mike to buy a harlot.
‘It’s no good to hold yourself, Mike. You’re young and if the body demands you should not refuse it. We’ll pay for it.’ The director proposed.
It was the second time when the people proposed Mike to pay for a harlot on the grounds that the abstinence evidently made Mike sick. First time Mike had refused. And, he felt the same now.
‘Thanks, but I don’t need it. Thanks, but I simply don’t want it.’
After all the persuasions the driver got so excited himself that he called for the whores by the phone. But, the administrator said that the whores already terminated their shift, and it was possible to find a girl only in the bar.
It was strange for Mike that this man, who complained that he had not enough money to buy new boots for the winter to his daughter, was ready to spend the money, that he got on a rare occasion on that amusement. Mike realized that this is the source of all poverty in the family. Mike himself wanted to be a good father.

Breakdown

After Tina the Junior preferred a school boy instead of him, Mike got into a kind of despair. It seemed to him that he lost any chances to have a regular love affair involving him and a virgin he would love, that would end up in a marriage. He was sick and it seemed to him that there was no way to start a family life. So, Mike decided just to have some fun before he should die, because he was really afraid that his body would not be able to bear through a next attack of the disease. So, he wanted to know a woman before he would die. His idea was to go into a bar and find a woman for the sex. Or, if fortunate enough, to find a virgin girl to start a regular love affair. But, it seemed that Mike was too late for to jump on his bandwagon. He lost too much time on the studies and other work for the well being of his future family. He jaded himself by his efforts to do what they write in the books as necessary for the survival of the love. First time, Mike realized that all this that is written in the books for the schoolchildren he had read on the literature courses was just hypocrisy. Life was more like they showed it in the porno movies. Or, the books about harlots. Mike could not find a young girl that could be a virgin. They all said they already had the boyfriends. So, Mike realized it was impossible to have a pure love in his life. Somehow he missed it. So, he decided just to have sex. He often visited a coffee shop as in Russia they call the place where they sell not only coffee but also liquor.
On one of such visits to the evil place, he saw a beautiful woman.
She was so beautiful that Mike said to himself, ‘I won’t let her get away.’
He looked as she went to have her turn to let the beer out its natural way. Mike had an apprehension that she would be a woman from the North. The tourists from the North lived in the nearby bungalows, across the bridge. Mike always wanted a woman to be a princess or at least more well to do than he was himself. For example, when he fell in love with a woman more advanced in the age, a colleague of his, it was because Mike knew that the responsibility would rest on her, because she was more experienced. It was an Alfonso complex on the part of Mike. So, he anticipated the woman he met to be from that rich land of North. In such a case there would be more chances for a fallback position of getting out of the engagement. Because the woman would be more interested in the rupture of the relationship and Mike would be less guilty himself. So, the woman should have been more advanced in age or rich for Mike to feel comfortable and secure. It was a kind of security strategy to save himself from a possible marriage Mike was afraid of so much because of his sickness.
Mike approached the table at which the woman sat with some other people. Now, Mike knew that most probably the woman was a local. Mike started the courtship. He enumerated his personal achievements. How he worked with Swedes on a film about snow leopards. How he translated for hunters and scientists in the biosphere reserve. Mike put out his feathers to make the impression. The woman easily realized it was for her. Mike decided to see her off after the booze ran short. It turned out that she worked in a construction firm. Mike wooed her to start a sex. But, somehow she held out as women do to make an impression.
‘I was married, Mike,’ she said once.
But now it did not matter for Mike. He wanted only some fun with her. He thought he would have no family, because he was sick. So, he understood their relationship this way: when the problems the woman had herself would be over, they would part. Mike was angry deep in his soul that the woman was not a virgin and made it understood to Mike that she met him only because of her own problems.
‘I can do as long as two or three years,’ Mike said on these grounds.
‘I’ll have a family, Mike,’ she announced after they had sex.
What Mike could oppose to it?
Once, when they went home deep in night Mike said, ‘I’ll break your heart and leave you.’
It was already after she told about her first man and the like.
All their affair had a tinge of being temporal.
Even, before they had sex, Mike said, ‘I won’t marry till thirty-five.’
Of course, it disappointed Julia as was the name of the woman. But, she did not show it. Only, complained three years after, almost in the end of their relationship.
When they left the night coffee shop after some beer for Julia and dances, Mike proposed, ‘Will you be my mistress?’
‘If we have sex not less than four times a week, I agree,’ Julia answered.
This way Mike started his love affair with a divorced woman.
Why Mike acted this way? At that time his personal motto was ‘The Guards die but do not surrender.’ He did not want to accept the way he was dealt with, even if he was sick. His sickness itself was a protest against it…
Inna put herself in a pose of passing the weight on one of her legs and letting the head to be a bit forward, to show a confidence in what she was going to pronounce, she said, ‘But, I’ll twine the ropes of you. You simply don’t understand. You’ll gift me the roses even if I have a lover. You’ll go crazy if you try to get free of it. You’ll lick my shoes. I’ll make you drink champagne out of my shoe. You’ll go crazy as Uncle Tim if you don’t accept it. You’ll be my slave. I’ll…’ Here she stopped to holler.
‘I’ll better go crazy than get married to a harlot,’ Mike said calmly.
Julia sitting in the sand cried, ‘Let it be that he goes crazy, let it be that he dies, but he should get married to me even if I’m a harlot and love Bob…’
‘Then, you’ll be just a concubine and a servant yourself,’ Mike qualified the case.
Julia stood up and making avail of a toy metal bucket, belabored Mike on the head, arms and legs…

Romance

It was a warm summer night. The winds blew a bit along the run of the waters of the river. The waters flowed off to disappear in the darkness of the night as the events of the human life do run off and hide in the quasi-existence of oblivion. The electric lamps poured the yellowish light on the place. The garlands of the small electric lamps made an ordinary wild apple tree to resemble a festival one. Under the lamp lit tree stood a wooden table and a bench. Mike sat at that table with Julia. She had a brown vest on her and stretch jeans. Her hair was not short, but not long, either. It was average size. They curled and played in the yellow artificial light. Julia held a handbag with a treasury of feminine beauty little things. She took out a lipstick and trimmed the shine of her lips. She made it with a confidence of a woman that had done it every day, but now did with a special grace. Mike ordered a pair of barbecue for him and Julia. Then he returned and gently took Julia’s body into his arms. He approached his lips to her own lips and kissed transferring the charge of the energy of passion into the soul of the young woman which gave a response of heat. Mike let her. Julia made a tremble to come over her body to show she felt cold.
‘Let’s go near the fire,’ offered Mike.
‘Ok, let’s go,’ readily agreed the young woman.
They approached the fire and stretched their hands to receive the hot warmth of the fire that would get into their souls. Then, they danced caressing each other and kissing much. They talked and ate tasty bits of the food.
‘I won’t marry till thirty or thirty five,’ said Mike after a talk on the prospects.
Julia did not show she was disappointed. Anyhow it could mean an invitation to wait for some time.
After the supper was ended with and the young couple danced and kissed enough Mike invited Julia to leave the place and come home with a hope to stay with Julia overnight.
Mike was ambitious. The sickness did not kill in him the spirit of competition and a want to achieve the success and make a good name of himself. He thought that the marriage was early for him.
‘I do not want to marry till thirty-five said Mike. I need to make a career first. But, would you like to be my mistress,’ offered Mike the bargain.
‘Yea,’ accepted the young woman, ‘provided you sleep with me not less than four times a week.’
During all the days of his courtship to Julia Mike did not know that she was sick and had so rich a list of lovers. Just before their first night together Mike was let to know all about Julia’s sickness originating out of the promiscuous sexual life of her own and her former husband. Then, after some time, Mike heard all about her former sexual life as Julia told him at the advice of an acquaintance of hers that belonged to a religious protestant sect and considered such a being in the know on the part of the future mate the guarantee of future forgiveness and acceptance. Mike anticipated more of the life notwithstanding his own problems of personal growth. He was very disappointed.
‘I can offer to have relations with you for two or three years,’ said Mike once when they were alone in Julia’s parents’ house Mike washing some dirty dishes in the kitchen sink and the young woman sitting at the table in the midst of it.
‘I will have a family, Mike,’ said Julia some time later.
But even that was not enough of the satisfaction for Mike.
‘I will surely break your heart,’ Mike made a challenge once during an August night full of stars in the sky when he accompanied Julia to her own flat. The young woman did not say anything to comment it.

The first night

Michael and Julia sat in the summer night on the back of a wooden bench at the square of the monument to those that had fallen in the Second World War. Mike tried to be not obtruding. Still, he kissed Julia and tenderly caressed her bosom for the first time.
‘Can I go to stay overnight in your house?’ Mike asked.
‘Nope, I’m kind of intimidated.’ Julia objected.
It was strange for Mike to hear that due Julia had been in a marriage before. Mike was sure the cause was in him and in his mental sickness originating from sexual forbearance, which maybe was known to Julia. Though Mike’s version was that he just used that diagnosis to avoid the army service. He had already courted Julia for two weeks and for a divorced woman it was a long time before the first night. So, he was disheartened and even had a soft pain consisting in the idea that it was necessary to stop the whole affair. Thus, they parted.
Next day Julia told Mike that she was sick. Mike was not a complete hero. He decided to continue to court Julia and sleep with her only because he had already kissed her and thus he could be infected already. So, he did not want to run the risk without the pleasure of the fleshly love.
After a night stroll they stopped on a bench.
‘Still, if your grandma is in the parents’ house let’s sleep that night in your flat.’ Mike offered.
‘Ok.’ Julia consented.
They went to Julia’s home and made love to each other on the divan. Julia was full of initiative, still she did not know the elementary things in the pleasure of the fleshly love. As Mike could bet later it was Julia’s first night with a man. He got that idea after he recalled what he had heard about her from his friend Jack, that she had been a lesbian and had not enjoyed the sexual life with her first husband.
Once, Mike sure of his idea that a miracle was possible Julia was a virgin said. ‘I am sure that you are a virgin.’
‘You think right.’ She pronounced with much passion.
But, that night Mike was sure Julia was an experienced woman. After she fell asleep, he got an idea that it was funny that he and Julia were sick. ‘Quite a pair,’ he thought. He did not know yet that Julia was not contagious after a medical treatment and felt bad because of that sexual contact. It was a pitiful picture when he sat in the bath and tried to wash off the microbes at the advice of Julia when he got home. Julia really was cruel. And, why she did not know that she was not contagious? Maybe because she had not slept with her husband Jack?
In his soul, Mike was ready to get sick. Thus, it seemed to him he would get more forces to continue his studies as a way of achieving the material success in the end.
All in all, Julia made all for Mike not to get an idea that it was a first night for Julia as a woman. She told the “fearsome” stories about her former love affairs to persuade Mike that she had been a harlot. And, many years Mike believed her at his shame. When he got sure Julia had him as her first man, she left him and found a boy as an excuse in a matter of a pair of days. Why she did not want that Mike was happy?


Boots

What is natural in sexual life of modern diversity of feminine choice happened. Mike contracted a sickness from Julia that prevented him from having any sex. They would just caress one another. But as for sex, there was nothing. For Mike it was bearable, he was accustomed to the absence of a sexual partner for many years. But, he was afraid for Julia, who had a lot of former acquaintances on this theme. Mike was afraid that if he were no good for some time, maybe a month, his girl would seek for amusement with somebody else. The more so, Mike was frequently absent from his town. During the week he was obliged to stay in another town of about sixty miles from his own town. Only on weekends, he could visit his girl. And, even then he was no good.
Once Mike visited Julia. Her girlfriend Mary, a fat homely girl, dropped into Julia’s flat. Really, it was Julia’s parents’ flat; simply they authorized her to occupy it. There was a talk like Mary had to stay overnight in Julia’s flat. It was like they wanted to watch a fun show deep in the night.
‘So, you’ll stay overnight,’ asked Julia of Mary.
‘Yea, if ‘tis all Ok,’ Mary answered.
Mike felt that he was superfluous in there. At that time a pair of guys rang the bell of the door. Julia went out into the staircase and shut the door. She had a talk with the guys. Then, she went into the flat and said to Mary the guys called her out. Mary went out.
Julia told Mike the stories how she along with Mary had fun in the flat in the past. Like they would call a pair of their acquaintances and had sex. The guys also were a pair of friends. It seemed to Mike that the story repeated. It was open and insolent. Ungodly women always do it when they think there’s something wrong with their steady boyfriends or husbands. That’s the way they teach them things. It is to break a man down. Mike knew that such events don’t happen simply out of nowhere. There’s no smoke without fire. They say that when the lie is stronger and cheekier, then it’s easier to believe in it. It’s, for example, when a woman openly betrays a man. Like it was now with Mike as all the go of the happenings showed.
Mike knew he surely had no place in the fun program for the evening. What if Mike played a jealous man and stayed in the flat. He was just a boyfriend. Julia told how she had betrayed her boyfriends with another boyfriends of the past. As it had been with her former husband before they got married the way Julia had related it.
‘I will never betray my husband,’ she said once.
It could be expounded like Mike should have got married officially to Julia, as stark a harlot as she was, to prevent adultery.
Was it now a policy of driving a bargain? Or, the girls just wanted to recall the past. Why Julia shut the door and did not let the conversation to be heard? Why Mike had to go home?
‘I think I should take my leave,’ Mike said.
‘Ok,’ Julia said.
Nobody protested against this idea of leaving the girls to the doubtful circumstances. Julia called a taxi for Mike by phone.
It was a hard blow on Mike head. He was weak now to have the full impact of it on his conscience. So, he decided to put it down on a shelf of his mind to think over on better days when he would be stronger.
‘Listen,’ he said to Julia, ‘Come over here and tie up my shoe strings.’
‘Whether you cannot do it yourself,’ asked Julia.
‘You know, my dear, I cannot bow,’ said Mike.
Julia squatted and tied up Mike’s shoestrings. She looked from beneath into Mike’s eyes. It was sexy.
Mike went out. The taxi did not arrive for some time. Mike waited in the cold. Then, both girls came into the street from the doors of the entrance.
‘You’re still here?’ demanded Julia.
‘As you may see yourself,’ Mike said.
‘Yea, good night,’ Julia said and they went along.
So, Mike was not good enough even for the dissimulation? Mike knew he was sick, and they said needed sex to recover. What if she had sex with somebody else? She was not a married woman. She was not afraid to compromise herself. She was not apprehensive of Mike’s reaction. Was it specially to make Mike jealous, because Julia was jealous herself of Mike’s past loves to the girls whom he did not sleep with, nor got into a quarrel with and thus his feelings were not spoiled. Mike would not call himself again. But, Julia called by the phone and when Mike said that that day he won’t be able to meet her, she was distressed. Then, she explained that the boys came for Mary, and Mary stayed in the Julia’s flat overnight just to watch that fun show on TV. That in the night they came to Mary’s home to say that Mary would stay overnight in Julia’s flat, although they could say it by phone. But, was it to see and be sure that Mike left by taxi? It’s bad to love a doubtful woman. Doubts do not arise just on an empty place. Anyhow it was a claim of rights on the part of Julia. Maybe, she wanted that Mike accepted her to have a lover. Surely, her first man the relations with whom she cherished.
‘I would never betray you, I just got a new boyfriend and to betray him for those fools?’ Julia said to Mike.
But, then what all this show was for? No matter if it happened or not, it was a clear making to understand that it could happen and that Julia was not afraid to risk the future for the sake of her past. It was a show of rights to have sex with other men. It was a show that she was not afraid to risk their relationship. Or, more probably it was just a semi-spontaneous sex party. That’s why it turned out thus clumsy. She simply could not refuse.
Mike knew why it happened. It was because he was sick. Nobody would put a real value on a relationship with him and not to bring about the doubts.
When Mike got stronger, he decided it was time just to call Julia and say they would meet no more. But, women have the guts verily full of intuition. When Mike arrived home, Julia’s parents were the guests in Mike’s parents’ home along with herself. So, for Mike there was no plausibility of politeness on her presumed betrayal to say they were sexual partners no more. So, the love affair dragged on. Mike did not promise to marry her and she gave him sex.

First man

Julia’s first man was Bob. She never called him by full name, as if he was a toy or baby. This guy also was the first man of Julia’s girlfriend Mary, a fat woman, the one from a pair of twins. It was the source of admiration for both girls that the guy was deft enough to become the first man for both girls.
Did Julia love Bob? Of course, yes. Mike hated him as the rest of Julia’s former sex mates, because finally they brought her to a disaster. She was seriously sick. But, Mike hated Bob most of all. Mike did not hate Julia’s divorced husband Jack this much; the last had been stupid enough to lose a baby from Julia after she had gotten sick. This guy was also an evil man, but he got his punishment it seemed. So, when Mike asked himself whom he would hate and maybe feel himself right to punch the muzzle, it was Bob. But, Julia only said it was a swarthy guy, three years older than herself, who had studied in the local college to continue then in an institute in Krasnoyarsk. But, Mike was sure his name was not Bob, but also Mike. Because in the peak of passion Julia cried ‘Mike, Mike.’ It was from the first day, and Mike was sure she did not love him this much. Mike realized it was for his namesake. Mike knew this guy. He had always fine style clothes even in the Soviet Union times, because his granddad worked the director of a shop and then the boss of the town customer trade office. It was he, who came that day into Julia’s flat and Mike had to go home. The guy was real pretty. Even beautiful, Mike understood it, though he did not please men. Julia’s homely girlfriend Mary always asked about this guy from Julia when they talked by phone after Mary moved north. She was never interested in a man called Bob. And, Mike never saw any Bob. The girls said that Bob was the friend of that Mike, whom Julia and Mary were interested in. That this Mike had a friend, also a beauty boy. Mike even thought they were gays. But, that one was a lover and the first man of another girlfriend of Julia, whose name was Anastasia. Mike called the name of Julia’s first man from the very beginning but she refused to accept it. There was a mystery of Bob.
There was a period of time when Mike felt that he would surely punch the guy, who was the first man of Julia. He knew he was a wicked man. Mike was not afraid even to go into the jail for it. Simply he would return then and kill the offender. So, Julia did not tell him.
‘Let me take him from your heart,’ proposed Mike once, ‘I know he’s in a varnished box deep in your heart. Let me take this box and I’ll crack it. I’ll crack your Bob…’
‘You won’t do it. He’ll always stay in my heart. That’s my love. That’s forever.’ She pronounced with the tears on her eyes.
Mike had nothing more to say.
Once Mike tried to explain Julia what meant being a virgin.
‘Understand, Julia, that’s very important to be a virgin. Even for the education and career. Then, you would have studied well instead of losing your time in disco clubs…’
Here Julia flowed into broad sly smile and laughed.
Mike knew why she was glad. Mike could study, work, get sick from strain but was not able to have it. This privilege was given to another Mike. Not for work, study or money, but for free. It was gratis, from the mere sense of love. Another Mike did not have to do anything. Jack was simply a dull boy. But, the other Mike was really a shrewd beast.
Julia told that before she had met Mike it had been just enough for Bob to phone her and she would be ready to render herself. Once Bob called by the phone. Mike took the receiver.
‘I want to talk to Julia,’ said a male voice.
‘Julia, here they want to talk to you,’ invited Mike.
Julia took the receiver. Mike went to the kitchen. Julia talked some time by the phone. Then, she came into the kitchen.
‘It was Bob,’ she said, ‘And, his friend said ‘Go talk with this foolish woman. They were drunk.’
Mike nodded but did not comment. Doubt, lie, falsehood, Julia was full of it.
After some time, maybe a year or two, Mike said to his woman, ‘I know why you chose your Bob, I know that your Badik (it was the surname of the other Mike) was simply beautiful. I’m not beautiful. I simply had no chances. You loved the beauty.’
Then Mike tried to have sex with Julia, but she slapped Mike on the face very strongly.
‘Beast, beast,’ she repeated.
It was a revenge of her on account of what Mike said. It was the truth. It should have been presumed that the other Mike was better. Mike the real Mike proved he was simply more beautiful. Julia made her choice and Mike could not correct it.
Julia was like a letter of credit. The other Mike put her into circulation. Though the real Mike was obliged to pay on the letter of credit which was Julia herself. The person of the last responsibility was the other Mike, or Bob as was the way to call him.
‘Did I see your Bob?’ Mike asked once.
‘Yea you saw him on the picture, whether you did not understand,’ she said as if occasionally.
Julia again wanted to pass the buck on a simpleton, who loved the fat Mary.
A day Julia said, ‘I understood, Mike, it was just a play of hormones. It was not the first love. I love really only you.’
Was it the truth? The life showed that not.
It seemed to Mike that all Julia’s sorrows and troubles were just to pay for her first love. Even if she would be unhappy in her life, she would cherish her love and say that it was worthwhile to have it. Even if she suffered in her life it was for this pure first love. It was real love when Julia loved just because she loved not asking something in return. It was real love. The guy was real worthy. Julia said like he had had a girlfriend at that time already. But, it had not been an obstacle for her choice to give herself to him. They had loved each other in Bob’s home. He had promised to go together to study with her in Krasnoyarsk. But, he had not kept the promise.
She always had had sex with this Bob. No matter who had been her boyfriend or husband as it had been with Jack. Even before Mike met her.
She complained that last time before Mike met her, Bob had been drunk and in bad not fresh clothes. It had been in the same coffee shop where Mike had met her. He had asked for a chair from a group of the girls at the table where Julia sat, and even had not said hello.
Mike knew that Julia would always want to date this Bob, no matter how much Mike worked or earned, owing it was not for money but love. It had been the first love.
Once Mike got into delirium. It seemed to him that Julia was a virgin. Like she cheated about her past, and even her marriage was a false one. It was real sex and pleasure, without any pollution of the other male. Julia seemed not to be defiled. It was like Mike drank from a clear source. Then, when he returned into good reason, he knew what he lost. It was just before Julia left him for a dancer from her folklore club.
Did Julia really love her first man, no matter whom he was? But, why then she did not wait for him, and started sex with other men, get married to Jack? Mike thought she did not love anybody truly. All she wanted was diversity, to have an opportunity to betray anybody whom she was with. That’s what her first man was for. He himself rebuked her that she did not wait for him. Or maybe she loved him? Maybe she wanted just to be always on the call? To have another husband who would provide for her financially, and not to bother her real love with a necessity to take care of her? To be always easy for access? Then, it was not a real love. Real love is when a woman belonged to a man her whole life. That’s real love. Mike knew Julia loved Bob better than him in a way. But, still she could not reach real love, because she was a harlot. She wanted to humiliate Bob, Jack, Mike, and be a queen. Any woman thinks it’s possible. But, really nobody is loved by her. Just sex, hormones and passion. Just to make a man jealous. Just to change horses. Just to measure all sizes. Cruel appraisal? Cruel material.
Mike had an association of his life. It was like he worked in a field and had to return and eat. He worked hard, but when he returned only leftovers were on the table.
‘You really think I’m a harlot? You really think I’m a leftover?’ wept Julia in the bed deep in the night.
‘Yes,’ said Mike…
Inna argued harshly, ‘But, she’s got a beloved one.’
‘I know that’s Badik,’ Mike said.
‘Yea, she loves him not you, simply her child will die and she doesn’t want it for Bob. That should be your child or Jack’s. Jack consented that his child would die only he can get married to her. And, you’ll accept it. You should love her after Jack.’ Inna hollered. ‘She will betray you and you should forgive her if you’re a Christian. It’s when she’ll go to the sea. You should love her for three years. Then, that’s not your problem.’
‘She simply should wait as a virgin while I fast that her child should not die.’ Said Mike.
‘You won’t get my virginity,’ bawled out Julia, ‘that’s for Bob. You’ll get my ass with its shit.’
‘Then, you’re a whore and I won’t get married to you. I will not marry a divorced woman.’ Mike told.
Julia threw the dust into Mike’s face and tried to scratch his face. Mike would never accept it, but then understood all. He will be really a husband for Julia, Inna, Tina and Jane. Simply, he won’t have them. A prophet of the Lord said that David was a man according to the heart of the God, except the case with Uriah the Hittite. Mike was afraid for a similar case to this of Uriah Hittite as it had been with David. He was afraid to take Julia from a husband, whom Jack consented to be. Mike tried to talk with him, but he was too stupid and evil. So, Mike was afraid. But, then he recalled that David took his former woman from her husband and it was an act according to the heart of the God. It was because she had been promised to David by Saul, she was the king’s daughter. But, Mike would not know Julia first as David did with the daughter of the king. However, she was really Mike’s wife. Even, her marriage to Jack will not differ from that with Bob and other men…
Julia sat in the dust again to cry out, ‘I want that he be my husband, I want that he save me from the hell. I simply love Mike Badik. I simply want that he took a curse on himself.’
Mike now knew it was legal. Mike knew that the Lord will punish him for all it. But, the offence was too much.
‘So, you’ve got offended, but they carry the water on the offended once.’ Said Inna. ‘What do you think,’ she hollered having lost her temper.
‘We’ll you be my wife also?’ asked Mike of Inna.
‘But I need you as a hare needs a stop signal,’ bawled out Inna, ‘You should only take the curse on you. We’ve got our beloved ones… The fortuneteller explained us why it’s possible to put a curse on you. ‘Tis because you’ve got no angel guardian. You’re a devil. Our beloved ones got their angels guardians. That’s why we love them. You’re a devil. Return to the hell with your evil. That’s your sins. You’re an antichrist. You’re a devil. All curses will return onto you. That’s my beloved one is a Christian. You’re a devil. That’s your evil, you should take it back…What do you keep silent?’
‘I’ll give you the letters of divorcement after all,’ said Mike.
‘Ha-ha-ha, we don’t need your letters. Simply take back your curses and leave us alone.’ Hollered Inna. ‘Maybe you’ll write us the papers that we’re divorced?’
‘That’s not necessary. It will be spiritually.’ Explained Mike.
‘We don’t need your letters. Simply take back your evil,’ Inna bawled out…
After some time Mike tried to persuade the girls to talk with Julia that she should accept to be Mike’s wife without any Bobs.
‘But who will need such a crazy husband as you!’ shouted Inna. Then, she got calmer and slier, ‘Mike, whether you want that your wife died with your daughter as it was with brother Branham? The fortuneteller said that a boy and a daughter will die from Julia. It will be your daughter, Mike. She said it.’
‘That’s only a curse. You can pray and ask the Lord to put off this evil.’ Explained Mike.
‘What do you understand! Otherwise, she will die herself from grief, if it happens with Bob’s children.’ Said Inna.
Mike could feel the compassion for Jack at this moment. But, then he knew he was too stupid to feel as another bad luck fellow as to him.
‘And, you should write to this English preacher that you’re a Jesus Christ to prove you’re an antichrist.’ Said Inna.
Mike did not answer, and he did not accept. Simply, he knew that all that evil would inevitably come on him because he decided to help the girls, then in the hostel room, when he was just a little boy. It was the price. Was a miscarriage worth it? Mike knew he would pray and fast as David did when the Lord smote his child. It was most intolerable that it would be a girl. Mike knew he would try to come in good ways before the Lord to prevent it. He would suffer, and fast. He would go crazy.
Was he guilty? Was it the fault of his grand-grandfather Nick, who begot an Armenian girl from a sick harlot, whom they said the Young Turk killed along with her baby? Would Mike answer for his grand-grandfather’s sin? Or, simply he would suffer because he took the curse of the girls on himself.
‘What do you think on?’ asked Inna.
‘I’ll take the curse,’ said Mike.
‘Yea, and that’s not because we’ll be your wives really. It will be disinterested if you’re a Christian. You’ll suffer for our beloved ones also if you want to be like Christ. He did not have any wife at all, but died for all. Anyhow the fortuneteller said you’ll die at twenty-one.’ Inna continued.
‘The Lord will rise me from the dead,’ assured Mike.
‘Ha-ha-ha, look at this son of God, he will resurrect.’ Laughed Inna along with Tina.
‘I’ll return you this daughter, Mike,’ said the Lord.

Jesus

The constantly visited sermons made a strong impression on Mike’s sick mind. The impact of the doctrine of the new style of living and thinking was still fresh on his brains. In that state of mind, he met on his presence in Krasnoyarsk a middle aged vagabond that stood warming himself in a shop which Mike had entered into to buy some food. On his way out, he approached the man, who was maybe drunk, or else felt bad, which was more probably. The poor man did not understand from the very beginning that Mike wanted to give him the money. Then, he was able to realize Mike intended to help him. Mike gave him two bills of ten rubles into each hand. The poor man took it. Then, Mike returned home glad that he had done a good act. Then, the remorse crept into his soul. It the scriptures it was said that a Christian should feed a needy man, not to give him the money. Then, Mike realized that maybe it was his sole chance to get a permit into the heaven. And, he was losing that chance. Mike donned his coat and hat and went outdoors towards that shop. It seemed to him it was his only chance to meet a really sick and needy man. It was an examination the God had given to him and he gave only twenty rubles. Mike decided to buy him the food and wine. Whether it was not counted the same as if he met Jesus personally? But, the shop was already closed up. Mike sought for the poor man in the dark corners of the buildings around the shop. Still, he did not find the poor man. Mike was in despair. He lost his chance and would he be given another one? He hardly could get asleep. Then, when he got sicker it seemed to him it was Jesus himself, who came from the heaven to make him pass an exam. And, he just gave twenty rubles to the Lord. He recalled the wounds on the palms of the poor man, which had looked like the wounds from the nails. And, his strange face that had made the poor man look like a Jew. And, how he had suffered when Mike had met him. Would Mike get into the heaven after that? Mike worried. Still, he said to himself he had given the twenty rubles to the Lord and Jesus could buy the food with that money. After all, in his sick vanity Mike was proud that Jesus himself came down from heaven to take twenty rubles from Mike. And, whether he did not know the future by predestination?

Legal practice

When Mike studied the civil law his attention was attracted by a stipulation that the property acquired without justified grounds in the execution of the non-existing obligation might not be retrieved. In the language of the common sense it means that if a person gives the money or property to another person and knows that he is not obliged to do it by the law, contract or damage, the beneficiary of that act is not obliged to return that and the money or property received by that way cannot be retrieved by the court. Mike felt by his intuition that that clause had a certain energy hidden in it and could be the object of the legal study.
About five years passed since Mike first had got the idea that that provision might give the power to have the prevalence in the court. He worked as a lawyer in the administration of the district where he had been born and lived the first months of his life before his parent had passed over to Shushenskoe. There was a case of which the essence was that the administration had gotten from a private firm the right to use the services of the railways to the sum of half a million rubles. It had been a special account and the money must have been used only to pay the railways. It had been the time when even taxes were paid by the settlement of the obligations to provide some goods or services. The slaughterhouse had paid the taxes by the following scheme. It had sent the meat to the food factory by the railways and then the administration had received the part of the payment for the meat in cash. But, another part of the money had been transferred to the private firm that had owned the right to use the services of the railways as the payment for those services by the administration. But, after a certain time this practice had been forbidden by the federal authorities. Nonetheless, the private firm had transferred the right to use the services of the railways to the administration of the district again. But, the officials had used that for the benefit of the administration not having observed the previous scheme of cashing the account money. It had been so because the slaughterhouse had paid taxes in cash by that time. The private firm had applied to the court.
During the court trial the pair of lawyers that represented the private firm made fun of the agricultural department accountant who tried to prove that there was no obligation to pay any money. The poor woman wanted to prove that the debt clearance produced no outstanding debt of the administration to pay to that private firm. Mike looked that scene then stood up and simply said that such money could not be returned as the property received without a justified ground because the private firm knew that no obligation to pay the money existed. It was a hard blow in that the previous instance had established that it had been the property received without a justified ground. The main lawyer of the private firm that was a man of more than forty began to hiccup and tried to prove in the trembling voice that it was not so. Finally, he asked for a timeout of several days.
However the material law was for Mike, the judges decided to leave the sentence of the previous instance in legal force. The common sense prevailed over the legal theory. Maybe, it was so due the legal process law had a provision that though the sentence of the previous instance was not completely complying with the material law, it should be left in legal force owing it was according to the sense of the law. The law and practice has many rubber provisions and decisions to make void any prevalence in the knowledge of the theory of the law.
Anyhow, Mike was glad that it had ended up that way, in that he did not want to find the enemies for the cases in which he even did not have the monetary interest of legal fees.

Believer

It was in Krasnoyarsk. The rare cars rode in the street. The air was hot and stuffy. Mike and other members of their church including the pastor Vitally waited for their turn in the queue for the foreign passports. Mike began to talk with the German couple who belonged to the sect of Vissarion, a man who declared himself a god and began to build a city of the sun near a village in the Krasnoyarsk region. Mike tried to persuade the foreigners that the doctrine of the prophet Elias, Brother Branham, was not only better but the only true. The foreigners were wan and hungry and assured that the life in the Western Germany had been so bad that it had become necessary to come to Vissarion for the comfort. The husband showed his withered arm. A boy of about four years old played on the asphalt capricious and hungry. He was not guilty of any choice.
Then, a German girl came to the place. She was a newcomer and just arrived to the sect of Vissarion. Mike tried to pull her over to his own creed to save her soul.
‘You’ll have so many brothers and sisters in Christ,’ Mike allured.
‘I already have,’ she answered to hint that Vissarion was Christ.
Mike could easily see that for her it was a kind of hippie life where she could be free from her parents’ power and have the fun of the free love preached by Vissarion. He saw her off and looked long into her back. She was pretty. Then, Mike realized what was the difference between him and that girl. Mike had believed in the man that had declared himself a Christ and died but the girl had had a living man who had called himself a God and had not taken a punishment yet for that. It was a regular scheme, very banal indeed. A man had fun and did not work, then he paid with his own life. Some time afterwards, Mike heard that the intelligence office had wanted to kill Vissarion but had postponed it. They said he transferred the money on his accounts abroad and preached to his church that he was going to the heavens to prepare them the home up there. Mike had heard a similar thing already. He had read it in the gospel. They promised heaven and took what the people had on the earth. That's what the modern religion is based on.


Siberian Aluminum

The sun heated the dusty streets of Abakan. The soft wind blew along the asphalt roads. The marketplace was full of busy vendors and hurrying customers. Mike got through the rows of small shops that stood around the main building. He got in. Mike looked on the counter whereon they laid the dry fruits and nuts.
‘Come in on, brother,’ called a vendor from Caucasus.
Mike bought a big packet of dry apricots and plums, plus a packet of Greek nuts. When he was out he came down the steps but at that moment the packet got torn between and the dry apricots fell on the asphalt. Mike had both packets in his hands. He squatted down and put down the packets on the asphalt. The nuts also rolled out of the packet. An aged woman helped Mike to collect all the fruits and nuts back into the packets and then into the sport bag.
It was for Nick, who they said was in a bad spirit. He quarreled with his wife Natalie, who had to leave him helpless for a day and a night not able to stand his nervous bawling, complaints and pretences, having taken the daughter Pauline and gone to her own mom’s flat. As Nick then confessed, at that moment his greatest wish was to creep along the corridor to the closet, take out the rifle and shoot through his own head. Only the thought how his wife would find his brains on the wall and how his small daughter Pauline would see it kept him from realizing his idea of an easy end.
When Mike got into Nick’s flat with his gift of dry fruits and nuts for the patient, which he had washed with soap from the dust that they had collected by the fall on the asphalt, he saw his brother making along the flat on crutches.
‘The ski track to the champion,’ encouraged Mike.
Mike was exteriorly merry and tried to infect with this his own brother, but deep in his soul he felt very anxious about all that happened in his family for the last year. It was harder than he thought to make on without the good example of his own brother ahead that was the source of much personal comfort for Mike many years.
When in his room in Abakan, Mike felt very much depressed. It seemed that he was almost completely void of the joy and gladness of the life. The only thing on which he drew the feelings of personal importance was the respect of the law school students that studied with him. It was already the third year of the study and the young people began to forget a little bit whose parents they were the children of and respect the personal efforts and success in the study which Mike had. A friend helped him to get a practice internship in the State savings bank where he had met his fatal woman Jane, the toreador that killed the bull. Then, they invited him to the Office of the Plenipotentiary Representative of the President of the Russian Federation in the Republic of Khackassia. The deal was promising because the man who kept the office was in the same time the personal lawyer of Deripaska, the director of the Siberian Aluminum Company. So, they hinted to good job prospects in the metal company. So, Mike decided to pass his term of internship practice in the Office of the Plenipotentiary Representative.
The pressing on the nervous system got even stronger. Mike was a simple country boy and it was hard for him to stay in the company of the sons of the regional ministers. So, he decided to sleep even less to stay calmer and more in control of his emotions. The other reason was just a practical one. He badly wanted to know the English better to stay more equal with his immediate boss Max. So, he studied in the nights and now had not the time to sleep after the dinner passing all the daytime in the office. Mike felt hard in the lack of friendship. He did not want to communicate with his former mates from the hostel, because the booze and irregular life was not what Mike liked. But, the boys and girls from the city itself thought little of Mike and nobody wanted to start the communication. So, Mike wanted such a friend as Max, who was the same age as Mike himself but studied a year ahead. Max was the son of the former general of KGB, now the minister of the State secrets of the Republic. He studied a year in an American college on the basis of the exchange program. In a word, he had lived a life Mike would have dreamed to live. But, Mike was just a country boy. So, it pressed on his nerves. Mike had a lot of complexes. He did not have a girlfriend. His dad drank much and did not live with Mike’s mother as a husband preferring a woman on the side. Then, Mike knew that he was chosen for dirty work. They asked what was his opinion concerning bankruptcy. It was a matter of fashion in that time to make every level enterprises go bankrupt and take them over for the debts in the external administration to control the sale of the products or to sell out the property to line the pockets. Mike did not know that Mr. Representative had the plans for high scale production enterprises and thought that his future duties would be to kill the hopes of the workers through the entire region putting them out in bankruptcy process. It was the dirty work. And, Mike got even more depressed. The last straw that broke the camel’s back was the offer of a guy to go to the first floor to buy him condoms. It was in the presence of a beautiful lady secretary and a respectful man. It was too hard a slight to brook. The spring that was squeezed down for many months cracked. Mike went crazy. It seemed to him that he found new revelations concerning his personal status. As though all the people were divided in wolves and sheep and the first controlled the life of the last. Mike was glad to know he was a wolf. It seemed to him that all the pressure on him was a process of initiation into the gang of the wolves. Mike thought that all the insults and looking down upon had in its cause a desire on the part of his new colleagues to find whether he was a sheep or a wolf. He thought that he should show his fang to prove he was a wolf. So, Mike began to curse and call the people bad names on the place of his internship especially this one who tried to send him for condoms. The mere lucky chance and the sound fear on the part of his opponents prevented a fist scrap.
‘Where do you go?’ the policeman in the hall asked Mike once when he did not have the permit, that should have been ordered by a phone call from above.
‘There,’ showed Mike to the direction ahead and went forward without a stop.
The policeman somehow did not try to hold Mike up. So, Mike again quarreled and talked in four letter words having mercy only on the big boss of the office whom he had never seen. This way it was sure Mike’s internship was over. Max led him to the hall as farther from the office rooms as possible.
‘I don’t know how you will arrange your business with the internship office but I will not sign you any papers. You should go away and return no more. I don’t know how you always get through the security servicemen but you should not turn up here any more. The boss did say right for you that you were a fool. And, he did say that Siberian Aluminum doesn’t need such lawyers. So, you are free. And, if I come out and see you here in five minutes I’ll help you out.’ Said he and knocked his right hand index finger upon the dial of the hand watch.
Mike went out. He felt the greatest relaxation in his life the next day. It seemed to him that he had proved he was a man. He arranged all his internship matters in the bank through much cuss words and bravado and left for home. He was afraid that through much booze his dad would mar the hay collection, one of the last supports of their poor family. In home Mike had a paranoia ideas that they would hunt for him because all the trouble in the government building in Abakan. Once he came out in the night with a shotgun when a car had ridden into the no-pass road near their house. He held the shotgun and was ready to come out to protect his honest name. He was not afraid of bullets or something else. In the day he would come along the greenhouse, laugh much on numerate subjects and say that he was a wolf and ‘would eat ‘em all’. After all had understood Mike went crazy he was sent to the asylum. There they brought him into reality with strong medicines and hard diagnoses. Out of his maniacal exaltation Mike got into a deep depression. He talked to everybody that he lost the main and only chance in his life. He grieved much. He discussed this problem with anybody who was ready to hear him and he did it for three years hoping revenge. He studied English and thought that probably that would help him get over the barriers of pull and nepotism. For him it became an idea fix to prove that his sickness did not change his life once and for all to the bad. He thought that all his efforts and even those that led him to the sickness would pay out in the end to play into his hands.
Finally, it did work. Once, Mike watched TV and found that some foreigners worked on the aluminum plant in Sayanogorsk. He found the fax and phone numbers of the management of the plant by the Chamber of the Trade and Production in Abakan. He sent a fax and they called him for an interview. When he arrived he was gladly surprised that he would be interviewed by the director of the plant himself.
‘Hello,’ said Mike when he went into the director’s office.
‘Hello, sit down, please,’ said the middle age man in the upper piece of a worker uniform that was put on to stay democratic.
Then, they talked much on the prospects; that it was more patriotic to stay in Russia and work in the natal region, that a second line of the plant was about to be built. Mike felt himself important. He was invited to work in the protocol office responsible for the communication with foreigners. Mike’s dream and living doctrine came true. He felt himself to be first as a first lawyer in the region that had studied the English and French seriously.
‘What is important for you in life, young man?’ asked the director.
‘To be the first as is the first one in the group of mountain climbers connected with a rope going to the snowy tops,’ Said Mike.
‘That’s those who are the first,’ said the director and showed to the portraits of Deripaska and Abramovich.
So, Mike had a job. But, something prevented him from taking it. Maybe he was offended by the treatment he had had in the past and all the sufferings and shame he was through. But, more probably it was a sacrifice for Julia who needed a love concentrated on her. Thus, Mike waited for several months. After this he turned up. The lady in the personnel management was unwelcome and asked if Mike anticipated that they would wait so long for him. Mike retorted that he did not anticipate nothing special. But, after a little time he realized again that he lost very much. He knocked into the same door and they opened and said to wait for some time.
Once Mike arrived onto the plant called by the personnel office. A foreigner sat in the room of the new legal entity that was to be the second line. To say that he was sad was not to say much at all. Mike smiled and looked upon his face. Then, he approached him counting the man for his future counteragent.
‘Hello,’ said Mike and proposed to shake hands. ‘My name is Mike.’
They shook hands.
‘I’m Hugh,’ he announced.
‘There’s a laugh story how a man made an advertisement that he proposed to change a forty years old wife for a pair of twenty years old women. I wish you the last.’ Said Mike to encourage the bald man who passed several months off his home.
‘A young woman is necessary to fresh up,’ he said.
Then, there came in another Canadian probably of a French origin whom the women would count pretty for his aquiline nose and dark eyes. He was also depressed.
‘That’s Robert,’ said Hugh
‘Hello,’ said Mike. ‘My name is Mike. I’m twenty-five years old. I’m a lawyer…’
‘Such a young lawyer,’ pronounced Robert as if with a pity. ‘I’m fifty four.’
After this they had to talk over some matters with Hugh. Then, some Russian manager came in.
‘Mr. Lukinsky, what about the printers? We need to copy the documentation.’ Hugh inquired.
‘We’ll discuss it,’ assured Mr. Lukinsky.
‘What discussion? We paid for it.’ Told Hugh not able to understand Russian mentality that considered them to be tutors of English rather than the businessmen.
Then, Mike waited for some time that made several month in a total after he had turned up in the personnel office and then sent a second fax. After all they said to him by a phone call that the Canadian firm refused to construct the second line and they did not need Mike’s services.
After some time Mike recalled his childhood memories. How, Inga and other girls required that Mike should find a job on this plant and refuse it for the sake of Julia.
‘You should make it for her to show that you love her,’ was the condition that Inga announced.
It was hard for Mike to evaluate his experience, but in one thing he was sure now, there was not once in a life time opportunities that could not be recovered.

The wisdom of the God

It was at the time when Mike did not speak to the Lord in plain human language as yet. But, the Lord spoke to him in a special language that was formed by the moving of the impulses in his heart, or as if something moved in and over, and above his heart as a dove would do. It were the signs like hieroglyphs and Mike had to be taught them as a baby, guessing the sense of the signs by the ‘yes’ and ‘no’ he studied first of all. He asked the Lord what a word would be in that language of these signs and the Lord would make that dove to fly over his soul, after which Mike made an entry into his textbook. He seriously wanted to study that language to translate the speech of the Lord, before he realized that much easier was just to speak to the Lord in plain Russian or English. Maybe, the Lord acted that way because Mike would be and really was for the first time fearful to speak to the Lord just in plain words. At that time the Lord spoke to Mike as he had asked Him the sayings of His wisdom. Mike demanded for something poetic and the following are the proverbs that Mike directly heard from the Lord:
The sound of the night is love.
A ring is left to a child.
A flower shines even in the night.
The money services in the night.
The word said to the church during a night will stay forever.
The prophet’s word watches.
The blood finds the love of the Lord through the work.
The soul finds the love of the Lord through the labor.
The night has the night for the fantasy.
The order is the question of order.
The questions offend the Lord God.
The questions of obedience offend the obedience itself.
The west is the night: the green grass, violet night.
That was all Mike heard of the poetry and the wisdom of the Lord in that strange language of signs Mike would have needed if he had had no hearing, seeing and feeling of touch. Then, Mike spoke much more with the Lord in the ordinary easy language of words.

Five hundred rubles

Mike and Julia entered the house. They ascended on the staircase when they heard Jack call the Julia from behind. Jack was her first husband. He was with a friend.
‘Can I speak with Julia?’ Jack asked of Mike.
‘Ok, you can speak if you like.’ Said Mike and continued to climb the steps.
They talked about something with Jack and Mike realized it was about some money, which Jack owed to Julia. Jack said that he needed his friend as a witness of the money payment and offered to sign a paper. Julia in her turn offered to go up and make the whole affair in her flat. Mike waited for them and they all went up to the flat.
By the coincidence in the flat was Julia’s mother Natalie. For her, it was interesting to see her former son-in-law.
‘They say half the town of the girls got pregnant of you.’ Natalie said in a jocular way.
‘Yea, I’ve got a baby from a girl.’ Jack said.
They signed the paper and Jack left the flat. Then, Julia’s mom went home also. Mike felt uncomfortable. It was hard for him to take the money, which could be used for feeding a small baby. He offered Julia to come home to Jack and give back the money and also buy some fruits to the mother that fed a baby with her breast. They agreed and went to Jack’s home. They rang the doorbell and Jack’s mother opened the door. First, Jack protested but then took the money back because Mike was very persuasive and firm on his decision. He also accepted the fruits for the mother of his child that slept in the darkness of the bedroom.
Mike wondered how a father might give the money off a child like Jack did. Three years later when Julia already left Mike, he met Jack in the street. He was amicable with Jack because he recalled how his friend Jack had told Mike that Julia had not slept with her husband and had got pregnant in the God only knows what way to make awake a sickness in her body.
‘How’s your child?’ Mike asked of Jack.
‘What child?’ Jack asked in return.
‘That one we saw when we visited your house with Julia.’ Mike made it more precise.
‘Ah, that’s not my child.’ Jack said.
All it seemed to be rum. Especially, that Jack mistook Mike’s idea that he had had a chance to sleep with Julia twice after the quarrel with her grandmother Ann for the term of three years. The possibility that Mike slept with Julia only two times for the three years that came into the head of Jack made Mike sure that Julia really was lesbian before she had met him as they had said about her and Jack was strange himself. The life is strange sometimes.


Trucks

It was the winter of the fifth year of Mike’s study in the law school. It was after he was in the asylum for the second time and it was sure his sickness was a chronic one. He had got into the asylum because he had been fretful very much on account of his brother Nick that had been put into the jail for a time of the investigation. It had turned out Ok and Nick had been put free on the amnesty, but Mike was now surely an invalid. Not only according to the papers but also to his spirit.
The boss of the firm he worked in told Mike that the workers that were really the co-owners of the enterprise spoke much for the idea that the trucks should be sold to pay off for the debts of the unpaid wages. Maybe sold to them workers through a debt clearing. The director told Mike to try to talk with the workers.
Mike got into the dispatcher’s room where the meeting was held. The workers looked angry and meant no good to Mike who would speak on the behalf of the administration. Mike tried to speak.
‘Think about the perspective. If you…’ hardly began Mike.
‘What a perspective do you speak about? We did not see the salaries for about three years.’ Said an angry man in a coat spotted by oil.
‘I simply wanted to propose you to have the patience.’ Was what Mike said in the end.
Then, Mike got into a complete depression. He really was not interested in the affairs on the firm where he was the lawyer. At that time happened what happened to almost any enterprise in the country at that time in a more or less identical way. One of the stockholders arrived from up North and proposed to use the trucks that were the main asset of the company to carry the timber over there. A pair of young guys arrived also. One was the director of a fictive firm that possessed a computer think box as the stock capital and it was all that the firm had as its assets for the case of a lawsuit as it turned out later. The other one was somebody from the administration of the governor general Lebed. He threatened a bankruptcy procedure and stated that they would take the trucks all the same. So, by hoaxing and bullying, the administration of the company signed the leasing contract. The more so, it was the dead season of the winter and the trucks were not involved in any transportation.
Then, they did not pay for the lease of the trucks. Only once they paid a little money to prolong the term of the lease. The drivers from Shushenskoe where the transportation company was situated were changed for the local ones. And, the disappointed workers returned. Only one of them that was a strong supporter of the new possessor of the trucks was left as a compensation for much allegiance.
After half a year, the director first began to speak about the necessity of a lawsuit. A pair of Mike’s attempts collapsed just due to the fact that his strain in the constant study of foreign languages prevented him from having a clear juridical vision of the matter and maybe it was this way also because he had little real experience for a real legal grip. First, the judge thought he could not acknowledge the lawsuit because the contract that was made without Mike was null and void, because the subject of the contract had not been shown in the body of the document. That is it had been said that eight trucks had been given to the lease but they had not been specified. So, first lawsuit collapsed. Then, Mike got a State office job and another lawyer got occupied with the affair. The lawsuit was won but the defendant and his property were not found by the bailiff.
Then, a strange thing happened. The director always said that the police office was ready to help return the trucks but only when the lease contract was over. And when the lease contract was over the Northern stockholder who had bought his share in the capital of the company from workers arrived and offered to sell him the trucks. And, the boss sold them. Was it a stark stupidity or a biased view influenced by some cash was a mystery. But, Mike had to prepare a lawsuit again because the buyer did not pay for the trucks though the price was ten times lower than that of the marketplace for the second hand trucks. Mike took this deal though knew that the director was most surely dishonest. And, to say beforehand it was the reason why his lawsuit failed.
He found a good idea to base the pretences on the law of the damage and not the law of the contract. It allowed bringing into the responsibility the whole lot of the people that had acted for the trucks to get away of the possession of the company. It allowed the bailiff to come into the houses of all the people involved and recoup the debt of the lease payment for two years and the cost of the trucks. There was even the real breach of the law that allowed for the lawsuit of damages. The Northern stockholder had voted on the board of directors for the deal in which he had had the interest against the provisions of the stock company law. But, the Achilles’ heel of the whole affair was that dishonest selling of the trucks by the director. Mike insisted it was a forced bargain and so was only adding to the damaging activity of the people involved into the bereaving the company of its property. But all this legal scheme came out in a puff because the judge had enough common sense not to acknowledge the lawsuit.
The judge was a young woman. She understood that Mike had put her into a predicament and just before the trial Mike behaved himself arrogantly. It was to push down on the mind of the judge. Mike made the affair very complex. The woman was experienced enough to understand that it was not just a deceit. That the people who claimed damaged were paid the black money. Maybe she surmised Mike was also paid and now wanted to take even more. So, she treated Mike very bad. Threatened to call for the security officer now and then. Interrupted what Mike wanted to say and finally rejected the pretences.
What Mike recalled most of all was when she asked him, ‘Take away your claim and make me a present for the Woman Day.’
Mike was obliged to the boss and could not allow himself to make so rich gifts.
Anyway it was hard for Mike to realize that his work was evaluated by a human being, a judge. And, that though he worked much it all went busted. Mike even did not want to make an appeal claim. All the story was a good lesson to him that it is necessary to choose the place of the work and be very scrupulous in taking the cases as a lawyer. Even as a lawyer, you should deal with the honest people.

A man who disappeared with the money

When Mike was on the internship practice in the relative governmental structures of the Siberian Aluminum Company, he felt that the people were a bit more anxious than it would be in the natural stay of the matters. All the spirit of the place provoked Mike. The people were too nervous.
About that time Mike knew about a strange case in the regional arbitration court. It was on the days after the banking system crisis, when most of the banks went bankrupt. The Siberian Aluminum Company owed to a bank on the brink of bankruptcy about forty millions US dollar by a letter of credit. The letter of credit was found to be with some vice and declared to be void of legal force. And, the case was lost.
Mike was not an experienced lawyer, but by what he knew from the theory of the law, he understood that the lawyer of the bank, who had held himself in the court as a lamb before the wolf the way the fellow students that were present in the courtroom told, could change the juridical form of the claims and ask the money on the paper turning it in as just a writing of debt. So, the whole affair was stinking of fish. Mike felt that it was just a step in the complex scheme of settling of the accounts.
After a year, Mike knew a story that a guy, who was the financial director a subsidiary of the metal holding, and who was responsible of collecting the money in advance payments for the small trucks that were assembled in Abakan, got a sum equivalent to twenty millions dollars and disappeared. He was not present on the working place for about a week. And, when the people on his job got interest in what happened to him, they called to home. He was not there. They forced the door to see what was in the safe and saw it was empty. About half a year the mob and international police had sought for him but found not.
Mike was not already so young as to believe that the man eloped with the loot and bought a villa on a tropical island providing for himself and his kids and grandkids with easy life. Most surely, the guy was deep in the moist land with an extra hole in his head while the money became a completely laundered monetary benefit of the aluminum Mafia.
It was a first serious strike upon Mike’s theory of his life that through his good academic knowledge he would get into the establishment as a club of successful people. That he would think of and use civilized legal schemes saving money to the people that hired him. The world around turned up to be more of a pig-house where the inhabitants waited while their master would reckon them fat enough to be sent to the slaughterhouse. Mike’s prospects could exist only on the principle that it would not happen to him because he was a special individual since he had been born of his mother, on the grounds that it was simply he. The deeper thoughts on that topic were prevented only by the fact that Mike was mentally sick at that moment and really no good career achievements were in the prognosis for him.

Career prospects

There was a talk on the prospects of the future career growth in the region completely dominated by the metal holding Siberian Aluminum between Mike and his friend Valero.
‘I know a guy who works on a metal factory belonging to Siberian Aluminum as a head of the juridical service. They killed already a pair of the heads of the juridical service on this factory and the guy says that he cannot leave it now because he knows too much and there’s a lot of doubtful affairs that are made through him.’ Valero told.
‘I would not want to happen on his place,’ Mike commented.
‘That’s Ok, it’s Ok to go ahead like this,’ opposed Valero in half a joke.
Still, they say that there’s a part of the truth in every joke.
However, when Mike asked Valero the same question about two years later when he worked the aid of an arbitration judge, the last pronounced, ‘This structure does not attract me.’

On the tracks of a dead man

The wind of the late fall made it uncomfortable on the streets of the provincial city of the gray buildings. Mike got into the yard formed by several five-storied buildings. In the yard there was a one-story building under a metal roof painted deep red. Mike took the marble steps and entered into the doors. It was the Chamber of the Trade and Production of the Republic of Khackassia. Mike wanted to find out about a possible job and what future promotion it would promise.
When in the office of the director, an old fat Armenian, the man said to Mike, ‘Now, we have no vacancy, but there was a young man that worked in our organization about two years. He got in touch with the aluminum people and now work on Bratsk Aluminum Plant as a lawyer.’
Mike got the coordinates of the administration of the Sayanogorsk Aluminum Plant to offer himself as a lawyer with the knowledge of English and French, off the secretary lady.
After a few weeks he was again there and wanted to present a Britain magazine to the secretary owing the phone and fax numbers of the director of the aluminum plant she had given to him was a restricted use information. But, she was not on the working place. Mike looked into the next room to ask where he could find her. But, the woman with the wept through eyes said that she was in a business trip. Mike wanted to get a talk with the woman and find out why she had been full of tears.
‘There was a boy that worked in our office and then in Bratsk on an aluminum plant. I don’t know, maybe he wanted to get parted with all it and to flee but they found him in Moscow and killed. He left a wife and a small daughter.’ She told.
It was just before Mike had to decide whether to work on the Sayanogorsk Aluminum Plant or not.

Good job

Finally, Mike got a good job he so wanted to get. He had come through all his life of the study in the university to receive it. This job paid at least ten times average level of salary in the country. Mike went through all the barriers of nepotism and pull. He got it because he knew English and French and was a lawyer in the same time. He already had passed the interview by the director of the metal plant and it was only necessary to move in the nearby city and get to work. He also got into some shenanigans and some people from abroad promised him very much money for the legal services to launder a big some of money on a transnational transaction. Mike was on the threshold of his dream.
But, at that moment he began to think on whom he would consecrate all this to. He loved Inga most of all. It was a kind of pity for him that so faithful a woman loved not him but some other young man. But, he had Julia, who was deep in her problems and shameful past. Mike tried to understand if he could gift all his success to Inga and leave Julia. Then, he realized that Inga made nothing for him. He simply loved her. She gifted her beauty, freshness, easiness and youth to another man. Mike only now understood that Inga was not worth all these pains and even risks. Julia, at least, slept with him for about a bit more than half a year. But, Julia was the same. Mike knew he simply had nobody to gift his dream that had come true. It was the first time he began to think about polygamy. No woman alone was worth what Mike earned in his life.
Then, Mike began to visit the church, and the pastor promised him a virgin, provided he would part with Julia. But, Mike thought that even this was not equitable. Where was this virgin when he was in the pains and troubles? Mike decided not to part with Julia and try to get a virgin on a polygamy basis. But, now he was afraid to come to his new job. Because he knew that then he would earn much money and many seductions would come into his life. New women and so on. Mike was afraid that he would not have been able to stay with Julia if he had taken this good job. Julia was sick and Mike pitied her. So, he did not take this job and decided to live on the unemployment money as long as they would pay it.

Trinity day

At that period of their common life, Julia still believed in the Christian ideals and could be used as an assistant for the relevant affairs. On one of such occasions, Mike invited her to visit the Pentecostal church of Krasnoyarsk. Mike intended it to distribute the message of the Prophet among the Pentecostal Christians as was called the compilation of the sermons of the preacher William Branham.
When they got into the hall, they both remarked that the sermons of the preachers in the message of the prophet were more interesting based on the sermons of Branham, who really had had a talent for that. Mike felt himself a chosen one as he was taught in his church. It gave him a source of self-respect.
The Pentecostal Christian women had also the long skirts. Mike’s pastor said it was because they tried to keep up with the message. Mike was sure he had a better revelation based on the idea that Jesus was the Heavenly Father, the very same person of the God, that the trinity was the mark of the beast on the false believers among other Christian doctrines. So, his formal moral obligation was to give a chance to the perishing fellow Christians to save their souls by giving them the brochures with the sermons of Brother Branham as was the usage to call the Prophet.
When the sermon was over. Mike began to distribute the brochures in the hall. Some Christians got on alert and called for the deacon. The deacon, who was a young man, collected the prohibited literature in a haste and tried in his turn to save the souls of Mike and Julia explaining that their creed was a false one and the trinity should be considered as the only true conception of the God.
What made it more remarkable was that Mike and Julia made a sally against the idea of trinity on the Pentecostal church congregation on the Trinity day. They themselves did not know it. Then, they could imagine that that coincidence made look their act as a very bold one.


Lost family assets

Once in the summer, when Mike strolled with Julia along the streets of Shushenskoe green of the vegetation, he met his friend of the childhood and early youth named Serge. Mike told him that they had proposed him a job on the Sayanogorsk aluminum plant as a translator of English, it was for building of a second plant nearby the first one. Then, he invited Serge to drink a cup of coffee in Julia’s flat. Serge told that he had married a woman of thirty-five, while he was twenty-six himself. It was to give birth to her second child, a daughter, according to the custom of the Russian village where an average man lasted only for five years before getting a complete alcoholic of no use. So, the women had to marry again and won in the competition with younger and lazier girls. He told he traded in the aluminum scrap, usually the illegally gotten one. He also got occupied in selling of the potatoes in the city. He bought a car on the income and also the TV set, video recorder and music center. It was a fortune in the terms of the village and he could be counted successful. He also got a job as a postman but his job obligations were fulfilled by his wife, who also worked on the post. After the talk, they parted.
Then, they told the tales that Serge began to drink hard after his visit to Mike. He drank off his car and the reserve money, also the urgently sold stock of aluminum scrap. He lost his property, reputation and family it seemed. Mike met him once more in the summertime in the village before he got into the jail for the third time on the accusations for obtruding himself to his former wife. He tried to make a living by collecting of the mushrooms riding into the forest with what was still left to him, a motorbike.
Mike did not know why Serge had begun to drink without a stop before he had lost all. Was it the envy at the exteriorly happy life of Mike? Mike felt uneasy due it could be so. But, whether Serge had not had enough himself?


Saved on waters

The gray jeep crept along the mountain road. After a few moments it got to the motor boats station. Mike got out of the car with the rest of the passengers. It was two cars that had got to the place. After a few words that the people exchanged between themselves on the impressions of the place, they got into the big motor boat by the plank that had been put upon the board. It was not really a motor boat, it was a small river ship.
When in the cabin, they drank the toasts for a good hunt and fortunate business.
‘Mike, look after Rolf first of all. He’s an important bird. Christian is a hired man, they may find twenty ones like he is. So, he can drown. You better look after Rolf. He’s the owner of the business.’ Warned the director of the Russian meat food factory of Abakan in the conclusion of the drinking party with his specific sense of humor characteristic for very rich people.
Then, the Russian partners and two other Germans left the station. Rolf and Christian had to hunt in the fresh air after they were pumped with liquor by their Russian partners as if some sailors who had to sign a contract to get into Shanghai.
They say that a woman is a bad token on board of a ship. Especially, if she is a boss as was the case in our story. Louisa was the mistress of the director of the biosphere reserve and that’s why had so great success in her career achievements. She continued the hospitality of the same kind. The pair of Germans were getting drunken more and more. And, when they got to the cordon on the bank of the reservoir upstream of the hydroelectric station dam, all the people including the crew were in a real booze condition. But, all except Mike, due he did not drink, and almost never drank at all in his life. That’s concerning alcohol.
The inspectors on the cordon said that they had prepared the sauna as the director had ordered them. But, the fix was that the sauna had no room to change the clothes. So, Mike had to explain to Christian and Rolf that they had to doff their clothes in the cabin of the motor boat. Christian spoke some English, so Mike had an easy way to explain him that he had to doff his sweater and trousers in the cabin. But Rolf was a hard case, he almost spoke no English. He sat on the bunk and answered German for English. However, Mike knew that Rolf was an important bird, so he tried patiently to clear out what was what. That time Christian got up on the deck. Mike recalled about him and had a feeling of alert and awareness concerning the fact that it was very dangerous for him in such a condition above. Mike had just enough time to realize all it before he heard a sound of a human body bumping upon something and then a big splash of the water. Mike got on the deck and looked on the dark water the surface of which was lit by the electric lamps from the cordon buildings. The unfortunate accountant tried to keep on the surface but always got down, and when so put out bubbles and above the water breathed heavily making a sound similar to that a man would have done if punched on the belly. A pair of sailors stood on the log platform in a stupor calmly watching the drowning man. Mike cursed in a way to bring somebody of them out of that state of mind and ordered them to jump and pull the German tourist out. Why Mike did not do it himself? First, he was too high above the water on the deck, and would go too deep in the water before able to bring the fat man out. Second, he had a cold and did not want to get wet. Third, it was the job of the sailors to save the drowning men, and they had enough skills for it.
One of the sailors that was younger jumped into the water and pulled the fat German accountant out.
When on the log platform, Mike asked, ‘Why you did not jump right away to pull him out?’
‘We wanted to look if he was able to get out himself,’ said one of them.
‘But, he was drunk, you should have jumped right away,’ insisted Mike.
‘I had the identification papers in my pocket, I did not want to dampen them,’ said one.
‘And, I had the glasses on. Could lose them.’ Answered the other one.
‘But what if he began to drown?’ asked Mike.
‘He was in the clothes, he would not get lower than seven yards.’ Said a sailor.
‘But, what if he got lower? He had just underwear and socks on.’ Insisted Mike.
‘Then, we would look for him by bubbles.’ Said the younger sailor seriously.
So, Mike felt that he helped to save a human life. It brought some satisfaction into his mind.
When on the platform, Christian drank even more, so much that his head turned around involuntarily.
Rolf swayed his had to show his disapproval and repeated, ‘Jesus, Maria…Jesus, Maria.’
Then, Louisa got topless and began to swim in the river after the sauna. Christian also followed the suit.
‘A new fish, a newcomer in the river,’ said Rolf, ‘the name is Buddha.’
And, really, Christian resembled a fat idol by his proportions.
How all it happened? It cleared out afterwards that Rolf had not wanted to go in the sauna. So, Mike had done in vain to explain him that he had to doff the clothes in the cabin if he wanted to go to the sauna. When Christian had been on the deck, he had wanted to go to the water closet but had struck upon the wheelhouse and got overboard.
When in taiga on the hunting place, Christian was so sick of the booze that he stayed in the cabin and said that he was ready to pay for any trophy his guide would shoot down. But Rolf showed to be more of a sportsman. However, clothed in Oxford cloth camouflage uniform intended for the winter, he made so much noise that shooed off a herd of ibexes.
‘If I were alone, I would have shot a pair of goats at least. You, Mike, don’t translate it.’ Complained the guide regretting that he had no meat for the winter season.
The guide of Christian shot an average size ibex but the animal was able to get off with a wound in the side. So, when the group returned from taiga there was no trophy business. On the trail Christian approached Mike and pushed into his palm a green ball of dollar bills.
‘Don’t show it to anybody,’ said the German.
Mike surmised it should be maybe five hundred dollars: he had saved the life of a man. He went faster to hide around the turn of the trail to feed his curiosity and look how much money he has got. It was only twenty dollars. Mike felt that if he had not been paid that modest money, he would have felt more comfortable. It was now as if he was hired to save the drunken men. It surely was a compromise. Maybe it was better to be paid that little than not at all. However, it was strange for Mike, that that German appraised his life so lowly. It was surely cheap award for the life of a German accountant.
When on the board of the river ship, Mike saw Christian to give the money to the sailor that had jumped for him. He hardly would get much more money.
When they floated along the river, Mike looked upon the rocks and cliffs of the river banks. The mountains were covered by big trees.
‘Where’s the highlanders with their bagpipes?’ asked Mike with a humor mixed with a poetic mood.
Christian laughed.
When the river ship arrived to the small port in the bay of the water reservoir, there was a fix consisting in the fact that the director ordered the captain to arrive before the arranged time to grab his mistress. So, Mike along with the German guests waited for their Russian partners to arrive for about three hours more.
‘Listen, Christian, how is translated the name of the rock group ‘Ramstein’?’ Michael asked.
The fat German laughed. His boss asked the reason for the humor and when knew also laughed.
‘Why you laugh,’ asked Mike.
‘The case is that Ramstein is the name of the city, where several Italian fighter aircrafts crashed on the throng and killed many people. It’s not translated.’ Christian answered.
Then, the Russian partners arrived and said that they knew nothing about the fact that the motor boat arrived earlier as the director had asserted them to do.
Just before they parted with Christian Mike said, ‘Christian, never say anybody that you got overboard.’
‘Yea, sure,’ said he.
Really, it was too much of a show.
Then, Mike recalled how Christian had answered in the cabin to the question what had it meant the expression ‘Nicht schieBen’ that nobody wanted to shoot. And, how he did not want to shoot in the hunting trip. And, how the Russian partner said that he could get drowned and he had nearly drowned. And, Mike thought that the word is really material and influences the things around us.

Brunette

Mike came to the administration building of the town for some business. When he walked along the corridor he saw a beautiful brunette girl with the long curling hair. She said on a bench and demonstrated her beauty with languor. Did she come there to one of her parents? What her beauty sought for in that place? Power, influence, money? No matter what it was for, Mike was not in a state to afford that girl or any other like her level. Still, he hoped that one day in the future it would be possible.


The belt therapy

Mike had had several traumas of the backbone during his life and at the age of twenty-four his back ached very much. It was hard for him to do any work and after some heavy labor his back ailed and it was even hard for him to sleep after that. At that time, he visited a church and he prayed that the Lord should help him to be healed of that sickness. After a while, the Lord heard his prayers and a specialist in the Far East medicine helped him a bit to make right his carriage. But, it was as though the doctor just retouched over his problem and no hard job was admissible for Mike in that all the problems would crawl out again. Thus, he lived a life of an aristocrat. His parents, especially his dad, made all the job around the family’s household. Mike just studied the Bible and foreign languages, Italian and English. But, the time to help the parents came, the winter had ended and the spring work has got on the day schedule. The more so, some guests of Mike should come to stay over some time in the family house. So, Mike had to work and work hard. But, the first heavy weight showed that the retouching effect of the Chinese manual therapy was ephemeral, the joints of his backbone crept aside to produce a bad backache. At that moment, Mike recalled the words of the Divine Scriptures. ‘Gird your loins, the men of Israel!’ Mike took several belts and girded his trunk. He felt better! Surely, the Lord heard his prayers. After some time, the Lord gave an idea to Mike to gird the loins with the leather belts and the chest and upper back with the woolen scarves to make the exercises that the manual therapy doctor showed to Mike as necessary to put the joints of the backbone into the right place again. Mike girded the loins with the ordinary leather belts as tight as possible the same as the chest with the woolen scarves. Then, he made the exercises. First time, he even had some feeling as if he was intoxicated. It was so owing the salt deposits dissolved in his blood because the joints got into the right position and there was no place for the salt deposits anymore. During a week, Mike put right his back making the exercises under the pressure of the girded loins and chest once a day or every second day. One day, he even went to the shop with the belts and scarves under his coat. The exercises were simple. First one was to put the hands on a jamb of an opened door and standing on a line parallel to the sill to stretch the whole body forth not letting the heels to part off the floor. It was necessary to step forward the next time closer to the sill to repeat it. The legs were not bent. The following exercise was almost the same but one foot was put forward to be bent in the knee while the other one stood behind not bent. The heels were not parted off the floor the same. The next exercise was to lie on the back on the floor and relax to feel as the joint in the waist was getting into its right place. The other idea was to lie on the back on the floor and put the palms of the hands on the back of the head to pull the head forward to the chest helping with the power of the hands. That way, Mike put straight his old trauma he had got in the age of seven years during a judo training course. Before that, his head had turned to one side farther then to the other side and his whole body was out of proportion a bit on account his right arm was much stronger than the left arm in that he had felt uneasy using the left arm. The last exercise was to lie on the belly on the floor or couch and ask the mom or dad to push gently with their hands on the back putting the palms of the hands parallel to the ribs, fingers staying left and right closer to the sides of the body. The palms pressed gently on the back at the distance of four or five centimeters (two inches) from the backbone itself, not to hurt the joints. This way the joints got into their right positions after as much gentle cracks as there was the problematic places in the backbone. After all that, Mike’s backbone was Ok. Even when he lifted heavy buckets with water or vegetables it seemed that even the joints themselves got firmer. Only after some very heavy job like carrying the four or five buckets sacks, it was necessary to repeat the belt therapy to make away with the feeling of discomfort originating from the joints that got out of their positions a little bit. Once, Mike helped his dad with just one seance of that belt therapy as Mike called it, when the dad dislocated a little bit a joint of the backbone in its chest part. It was after the medicine injections and ordinary therapy gave no effect. The meanwhile, Mike always took a leather belt on his waist like the bodybuilders did. And, he got his dad accustomed to always carry a belt and his backbone, which had chronically ached as much as Mike remembered his dad, annoyed him less and less.

Chinese doctor

Mike’s mom was constantly in the search of a medicine or doctor that would heal him of his illness. Finally, she addressed a Chinese doctor who healed his patients with acupuncture. It was a young man who rented a one room flat for his medical practice. His manner of healing was a rare one for Russia, so he did not experience any lack of clients.
After the mom of Mike talked with him, he said, ‘I understand his sickness. It was the same with me when I was about twenty and it lasted about a year. But, it got too long with your son. I can help him.’
He poked the needles into Mike’s body for several times taking the rather serious money. However, Mike felt the same and got under a delirium next time because he had studied too much not having restored the sound state of mind after the fasting before he had met Julia and still fasting when Julia was absent for some reason.

Strange girl

Mike walked along the asphalt lane of the city. He was in half delirium forbearing of sex and working much. He met a beautiful girl in a different colors knitted wool hat. Most probably, he thought, it was a girl from the city who had come to visit her grandparents. Then, few days afterwards, Mike changed his mind. In his visions he took for the reality, he saw the women from other galaxies. They were more beautiful and sexy. Mike decided that the girl he had seen came to his town from another galaxy for some mission.


Omerta

A certain day of his life, Michael heard about omerta and Joseph Valachi, who told the tale to the public about Cosa Nostra. Mike could not understand why they killed him for telling about what everybody knew. The ordinary people visited the underground bars and restaurants. Some went to Las Vegas to lose their money in gambling. All knew the Italians managed that business. So, to kill him was more of a show business. Thus, he had really nothing to sell. As about Sicily, all know that they smuggle the contraband over there. Why the people kept omerta if all gambled, drank and would go to the girls? Mike clearly saw it was hypocrisy. So, at certain exclusions for his personal efforts to make a business on sneak, it could be presumed that Joseph Valachy died simply because he might not continue to stay a hypocrite. Cosa Nostra was an open secret. However, Mike knew about real omerta that was sold out centuries ago.
There’s a people in Siberia, who always had a repute of being most stupid of all. Their name was Chukchi. They tell anecdotes about them and imitate their manner of speech. Still, that’s part of what was a day most important Mafia Deal in the world. And, they sold their omerta most surely because the business partners did not pay them the share of the profits. They waited for centuries and not able to keep themselves against the righteous indignation sold the secret. That’s the secret of American continents. Maybe, Europeans just offered more? Who knows? All the same, it was so important that make the Italian passions to seem a child quarrel over what was left after the real scrap was over.
Thousands years ago, the Homo Sapiens found the Americas. It was while they went through the Bering Straits. So, they knew it was a way to a real land of promise, the Jews could only dream of. And, a tribe was left at that part of the Euro-Asia that borders Americas. They watched that nobody sniffed the secret. Thus, their habit to seem stupid originated, because nothing makes a man more stupid that a desire for himself to seem so in the eyes of the other people. It could not be said that anybody else knew about Americas except those who once crossed the Bering Straits. Not in China, Siberia or India anybody ever mentioned about Americas and a way there. They quarreled over the land while the nations in Americas just thrived. However, the frontier detachment that evolved into the nation of Chukchi kept the omerta of Americas. Still, it was hard for them to make two ends meet while Indians in both Americas lived in luxury without any notion to pay the money for the keeping of the secret. To boot, they did not want to let the Chukchi to visit the warm and prosperous land of Americas. The Indians pretended not to remember that they had originated from the people that had crossed the Bering Straits. The firsts immigrants whose American Dream was much more colorful than that of the nowadays newcomers. In the end, the Chukchi sold the secret to Spaniards to make the profit. It was through the mediation of the Russian who wanted to make the Englishmen and other Europeans less envious about the conquest of the rich Siberia, which they had in view. It was what should be called rumors, policy and business. Thus, the Spaniards just pretended they sought a new way to India while one way already existed and made all glad just before. It was for the Englishmen, Frenchmen and Dutchmen not to catch flair of the profit right away. A war for the conquest of the Americas started. The business of sharing the promised land ensued. So, that people could be called truly patient to wait for the due payments for centuries if not for thousands years before putting the office on fire. As for Italians: to make personal advertisement they tell the tales to whores and ordinary girls who then tell the stories to the boys in the police and CIA. So, all their affairs were an open secret. Even the schoolgirls know why some gangster killed the other one and for what. So, the Italian omerta is more a matter of show and politeness. If you want to know about real omerta and real Deal you better go to Siberia and ask the Chukchi about it. That seems to be more like a real Mafia.

Blood and sin

Mike prayed to Jesus lying on his bed in the night as was his usage.
‘Lord, I want that you accepted my sacrifice for the girls I love. I want that my blood should make them healed and happy, maybe with the other men. I know that they do not want to accept your blood and become Christians to stop sinning, but can my blood cover their sins and curses for gratis?’ Mike prayed.
‘I can accept your sacrifice,’ said Jesus. ‘But, you should know the difference between my blood and your blood. When they accept my blood they discontinue living in the sin. That’s the condition of any healing and help from Me. But, with your blood it’s different. They may be healed and helped but they continue to sin and that may make you suffer.’
Mike felt pain and vexation and said, ‘Still, Jesus, I want that you should accept my sacrifice for the sake of those girls. That’s my blood should cover their sins.’
‘As you wish,’ the Lord agreed.


Associations

Mike sat in the room of the psychiatrist and answered his questions being pumped with the drugs.
On the question what made him worry, Mike said, ‘I love three more girls and they are sick and their first babies should die because of it. And, then I have to unite with them all four, including Julia to bear the healthy children. I studied hard for that. To be able to make it financially.’
The doctor got serious and began to talk putting weight on every word, ‘Remember, Mike, that’s the urine, the old rancid urine, about what you’ve said. That’s the old rancid urine and nothing more.’


A woman of most ancient trade

One day, Julia said that she was like going to a bar. She said she was tired by the job and accounting and wanted to have some fun in the end of the week. They decided to respond on an idea to go to the hotel bar given by Vincent and his wife Martha. Thus, they came into the bar and ordered some dishes and alcohol. With a conspiracy tone, Vincent began to tell the story about a young woman who was the bartender or waitress in the hotel bar.
‘She’s a whore. She worked only with the foreign hunters and took real big money. Her own mom was her whoremonger. She phoned to the biosphere reserve to negotiate every detail of her daughter’s services. There was a price list… She made quite big money on that. She bought a flat. And, one of her clients specially arrived to her afterwards and presented her a mink fur coat. Now, she works here.’ Vincent told.
By the manner, he told the story, it could be easily discerned that Vincent had real respect to that young woman, of her ability to live and to make the money. He told the tale being vivified by what he narrated, as it always is when they tell about somebody who had a chance to make easy and big money and did not lose it. It might be seen that he appreciated highly her skills and know-how of finding a good place in life.

Killer

It was the dark night and Mike with Vitally, his pastor, lay on the beds getting asleep in the number of the hotel where Brother Guido collected the church of Novokuznetsk for the sermons. Somebody talked in the street near the entrance of the hotel.
‘Do you know what it is like to shoot in a strange city?’ asked one of them in a tone to use that phrase as an argument for the excuse.
Mike remembered how a young man had stopped near the door of the small hall where Brother Guido had preached. He had been seeking for the comfort. Mike had invited him to come in but he had not accepted the invitation. Probably, it was he who talked aloud in the street alleging he was a killer as though he was looking for the public opinion.
Then, many years afterwards Mike recalled that case. They said about him that he also had killed some policemen in one of the buildings of the university having taken hostages and making them try to storm the building. Then again, they said he murdered the bandits in the crazy house when they had come to punish him for the previous shooting. They said he had smoked so much of ganja in the process that he had been in the state of the pathological inebriation when he had not controlled himself and remembered it afterwards. In the crazy house, he had eaten the psychiatric medicines on a wager to bring about a paradox reaction. Mike also recalled about a similar case when he had been fourteen years old. But then, he had smoked the cocaine to the same effect. They asked him frankly for whom he had worked, for the owners of the Russian aluminum industry or the intelligence office. Mike did not remember. Or, to say it more right, he recalled a pair of years afterwards about it and was afraid it could be true. Still, he remembered precisely nothing. Then, he recalled that maybe he had taken an order from the KGB officers. It was when he had been a small boy when they had got to know about the complot among the policemen and criminals to rob the very big money that should be cashed by a scheme in the Russian Aluminum Company. Then, it had been kept in his back conscience to make him shoot years afterwards. He felt better. Why they had risked charging him with that? It had been because he had killed the Tadjik bandits with a razor blade when he had been in the kindergarten. It had been when they had come to take Catherine, the daughter of one of them, to film her on the video and to kill due her father had lost her in a card game. When Mike had killed ten armed adult bandits having been six years old himself, in the KGB office, they had said that they would not doubt in him any more. So, maybe Mike had done it. He did not know for sure. All he knew for sure he had killed the Tadjiks.
But, why he accepted those desperado missions and they entrusted him with that in the KGB? According to his reminiscences, first time, when he was fourteen, they said to him that an international organization of the special forces detachments had had the military exercises nearby the town he lived in. They alleged those guys blackmailed the foreign governments’ officials, big businessmen and conspired to cover the gangsters when the last would steal the cash money in the cash out financial schemes of the big companies. It would be good to murder at least some of them. Mike nodded he felt it was right and wanted to know what would be said next, not having any wish to involve himself into it. But, they said those guys wanted to rape Benedicta, the Italian girl Mike loved. Mike saw now it was a plan and all was matched. They brought some foreign boys to compete with Mike in physics on the pretences he should have been an infant prodigy in that, a false idea. He took them hostage, deprived them of their cocaine and a pair of the guns they brought in the books where they had cut the places for their weaponry. When the special troopers stormed the school, Mike killed some of them, maybe almost all. He did not remember because he smoked himself into an Indian warrior with the cocaine. He was not sure at all afterwards he had done it. He realized that the things he recalled ten years afterwards could be true because they hinted on that, or rebuked him in half phrases to break the conspiracy of the silence. Why he was not afraid to come through that? He saw in his visions of the future that he was alive and not wounded in the scenes where he would love Julia, that time when he was fourteen years old. But with that time when he was already adult it was even simpler. He himself volunteered for that and passed over the information about a possible robbery in the huge sums of money. Those guys themselves said to him they would rape Jane, the girl he loved. They even said it to Jane and she required a protection from him. There was also another girl that should have been raped by the gangsters if Mike had not raped her himself when he took her hostage in the building of the law school. He recalled it could be the same with the schoolgirls when he had been fourteen. Why he defended those girls? They were not his girlfriends, but Mike knew that his blood not only healed them but also infected with the other viruses he would have the immunity only after fasting of sex and be able to transfer it to the girls if they gave birth to his kids. So, he felt himself double responsible for them. As in the case with Catherine, the girls were sick and most probably would have been killed to hide the crime and destroy a sick specimen of the humankind. But, Mike did not know the reality for sure. It could be the play of his imagination. But, could the people around him cheat? He was afraid to find out about the truth on that. He decided not to write about it in his book in details but to leave it to do to his nephew Alexander who had been left an orphan after his father had got drowned in Jenisej River. He hoped to give a start to the boy by that because he had more such deals in his memory and could help the boy make quite a story. The more so, it would be modest and sure after all the details might be checked by the intelligence office archives.

Warning

Mike sat unawares on a divan in the flat of pastor Vitally. His memory did not disclose his past as yet. That is why he kept in passive neglect and did not let the surprise and fear take over his soul when Brother Guido began to talk about Mike’s past.
‘Brother Michael is a dangerous man. I’ve talked with a major of security and he said that when he was in the kindergarten he killed fifty men because of a girl. Very early in his life he accomplished the order murders. You know what an order murder is?’ Brother Denis nodded to what Brother Guido demanded. ‘And, you know what he said when they asked him why he liked to torture the special forces department officers? He said it was because they were trained and had enough testosterone and adrenaline to last long during the torture. He is a dangerous man. He raped a woman, a singer (he called her name), you know her?’
‘Yea, and nothing happened to him?’ Brother Denis asked.
‘No, they sent some photos after it to the parents of a Sister in the Message, a girl he also raped, but it was a fake.’ Brother Guido related.
‘And, nothing happened?’ Brother Denis asked again.
‘No, they say he has strong relations in the high powers,’ Brother Guido said. ‘And, you Mike should remember that Sister and the brick also.’
Mike was a bit crazy at the moment so he was able to hear it and not to analyze that in the same time because the reality and dream mixed in his mind.


Pastorals

Julia offered to come to swim to the Dacha Lake. Mike himself had never swum in that lake. It was hot July weather, so he agreed to the offer. They decided to stroll a pair of miles of the distance to the lake. It was a pleasure to walk along the road in the pine forest. They went barefooted by the land and hot asphalt. The warm dust fondled the feet. Only on the rubbles of the road through the dachas, they had to take on the footwear. The air was fresh and the sun gave the pleasant warmth that enveloped the body to make it feel comfortable.
On the bank of the lake, they basked under the sun and talked about small matters. Then, they swam for a pair of hours. It was fine. Still, it was time to go home.
On the way back, across a mowed down hay field, Mike proposed. ‘Let’s go to the pine forest and love each other.’
‘It sounds fine, let’s try.’ Julia consented.
They went across the field and got into a corner of the pine forest where they would be isolated from the outer world. They took off the clothes and lay on the thick moss to make love to one another. The small spruce trees protected them from any danger from the outside. It was a complete fun but for the mosquitoes.
After all was over, Mike asked. ‘Agree it was a fun.’
‘Still, that time on the river bank was much better.’ Julia answered.
Thus, they went home, tired and happy.


Mary

A small girl in a blue dress ran up to Mike from an ambush where the other girls hid, it was around the corner. Mike had to stand still.
‘Will you sleep with me also,’ asked the girl that was rather homely.
‘I will take you a concubine if you want, but only with the other girls if they consent to get into my harem…’ answered the boy…
Mike’s mom said that they wanted to invite him to work as an interpreter for a group of American college teachers that delivered lectures in a regional university. Mike consented. He wanted to communicate a little some with foreigners. He came to the hotel and they went to the bee farm on a bus. Mike translated much and was merry and sure of himself as it was always with him on such occasions. There was a young girl called Mary. She was a kind of responsible for the group in the terms of the sights and tourist impressions. So, with his stories of the local life nowadays and centuries ago he played much into her hands though it was negotiated beforehand that Mike would have no money. So, Mike felt easy. Then, Mary invited Mike to go into a hotel of the nearby city and stay there overnight to have the time to discuss some scientific problems of jurisprudence with Bob, the teacher of the law from New York. Mike consented and got on Mary’s ground. They went together on their way to the old wooden hotel.
‘Will you have me or not,’ asked Mary without making any bones of her intimate offer.
Mike kept silence to live and see. Then they went into the shop and Mike bought fruits, chocolate and a bottle of wine. Mary invited Mike to pass the night in her two beds room. It was the only place for Mike to get over the night. So, he consented. The events developed as if it was a night dream and Mike could not control it. Then they had what they should naturally have. But, it did not work. At the moment when Mike should get the gratification and make Mary to get it also Mike felt week as if a spell was upon him. However they had a talk of the perspective. Mary was a good girl. Though she said she was not a virgin she evaluated Mike’s efforts to build a career and consented to be a second wife of him. She was a student and she had a lot of time ahead and her sexual life was not intensive just before, so she could wait and give Mike a chance to grow financially and cope with two wives. She felt the good prospects.
But, it turned out that Julia forgot about all her words of consent to polygamy and did not want to put up with such an idea in reality. Mike had to choose whether to lose Julia or to lose Mary. Mary was not very beautiful. Julia, at the contrary was a true beauty in her looks. So, Mary had to be put out the doors.
The first time of his life Mike felt himself a villain. Julia proved as he understood afterwards that Mike was able to be a man committing bad acts in his sexual life. Mike even had to insult Mary to end their relationship. Mary was cheeky and sought for a continuation of their liaison. Mike always knew that he could allow having her as a second wife and he wanted it. But, he felt that he could not allow it right now because of his financial lurch. He lived and hoped that some day he would be able to wash this off his name and hold Mary in his arms.

Swarthy girl

Once, Mike was in the main building of the Krasnoyarsk Agricultural University. It was to wait for Julia. He had a talk with some boy that was a student of this educational institution about life and prospects. A swarthy girl went down the steps with a pack of papers that she held in her arms before her. Mike stopped talking to the boy.
‘I’d like to get such a Jewess,’ said Mike about the sun-tanned girl with long black hair…
It was the days of the folklore music festival in Shushenskoe. Mike was on the stadium with Julia and when they went along to the scene Mike saw the beautiful swarthy girl that went with another girl in the contrary direction. Then, they stood before the scene and Mike embraced Julia. He threw the glances toward the swarthy girl that stood somewhat to the right. He clearly wanted to say to the swarthy girl that he was ready to take her a second wife into his family though he was young. He looked surely and without a retreat. The beautiful sun-tanned girl looked first around a shoulder then more sincerely. She had white jeans on her beautiful legs and shoes on her feet that allowed her white heels to be contemplated. After some time she was not able to stand Mike’s sure looking. She squatted and began to weep softly. At that time as all during his life afterwards Mike never thought an idea to have many women as wives as something bad.
‘We will sleep all three in one bed,’ said once Julia at the idea of Mike to have a second wife.

Pauline

Pauline was the granddaughter of Peter, the pastor of the church in Velicky Luky. She was from a family where her three uncles married her three aunts, the daughters of the old Peter. The other uncles were so numerate that Mike did not know the correct number, but it was a matter of seven or more.
Mike first looked at Pauline in Velicky Luky when he arrived there for a stay before the journey to Prague. Pauline was a natural beauty. She had no cosmetics, long hair and long jeans skirt. Mike loved everything in her: eyes, her girlish slender body, even the natural tiny hairs on her unshaven legs. She was a kind of concentrated warmth for Mike, both spiritual and physical. She was grown up but tried to attract Mike’s attention as a shy little girl. Hardly could be presumed that she just graduated from the school and was already enlisted in the university.
Of course, Mike was a good subject if considered as a prospective bridegroom. They talked much including himself that he had a good job offer from Russian Aluminum Company. So, he was a good boy for a girl to think or even dream of.
Mike liked Pauline’s fashions in Prague. She looked like a princess and lived just a few doors off Mike’s room. Although Mike was very busy on his duties on the conference, as an interpreter or just a technician, he found time to pay the due signs of attention to Pauline. Mike communicated much and had already many acquaintances. This way he helped Pauline to make friends with a girl who was in her turn the sister of a French boy whom Mike had already known. On few occasions, Mike talked to Pauline but it was mainly on the rules and behavior, because Mike could not allow being intimate with Pauline due to the customs of this religious movement that first required the young to be engaged. So, he was accused of her of being too rigorous. Every man that got into the Message as it was called got infected with the constant concern of female fashions and haircuts, whether they were long enough or not. Mike did not avoid it also. But, for him it bordered on the jokes and fun. However, it could be called the beginning of a romance.
It happened so that Pauline stood on the porch with her French girlfriends and could see and hear all what happened between Mike and the Italian girl. Then, she could see how Benedicta was much impressed by what Mike had said when the Italian girl wept in the conference hall. So, it was only natural when Pauline got a bit jealous. All the same when they parted in Velicky Luky Mike got out of the bus that was to ride a bit else somewhere to drop Mike and other, he took Pauline by hand and shook it. Pauline was in a high brow at the moment. Probably, it was her opposition to the idea of polygamy much put on propaganda by Mike.
When Mike was next year in Velicky Luky in a summer camp, Pauline did not come to the meetings though she had been promised by her dad. She belonged to somewhat different trend of the Message of the Prophet, maybe it was the cause. But, Mike’s idea was that she could not forgive to Mike that he having had Julia already had the cheek to flirt with the virgins in the Message one of whom Pauline positively was. Surely, she had her own opposition to Mike ideas that though were not void of any sense for a man surely did not lose their crazy character with the girls who did not have much problems in life. So, Pauline proposed her own challenge. Sure, she could not put with the fact that keeping a virgin she should have shared her husband with another woman.

Through Poland

The part of the ancestry of Mike was Stephan Belsky. One way his story was told was that he had been a noble man that had been exiled to the deep Siberia for the participating in the Polish Rebellion against the rule of the Russian king. The other way was that by that source Mike had a kind of Jewish origin, because whether the wife of Stephan or he himself had been a Polish Jew. But, the history has it that Stephan had been first sent to the penal colony in some mines or pits in hostile climate Siberian lands. Then, he could not return to Poland because he was prohibited to do so. He had been ordered by the imperial authorities to live among the Mongolian tribes in a place where even the Russian were very few. He heard from his grandmother Helen that there had been a woman involved in the whole affair and that the rival in the love matters had denounced him to the authorities as the former rebel. So, the woman had been the origin of his trouble. Stephan had tried to make avail of the local opportunities and they had sent him some horses from Poland. But, most probably the unfortunate animals accustomed to oats and hay had felt the same in the unwelcome land of Mongolian steppe.
How hard it had been for Stephan to live in Siberia far from his fatherland Mike understood himself when he was through Poland on his way to Prague for a denominational church conference. Mike always was against the customs of the steppe land that were woven into framework of the legal system of Russian State and society, with its strong inclination for the collectivism. Mike always put much value on whom he communicated with and he wanted a right to choose his company. The life in the hostel during the university years only made it stronger. Mike always dreamt of isolation and a right to choose whom to be with. When Mike got into the Poland along the road in a bus, he could see with his own eyes what his heart yearned for so long. He saw the farms that had the different land lots beside the houses. A small field of wheat, a small field of barley. The same with tomatoes, apples, cabbage. You work on your own and earn as much as you worked for. You do not have to work with the people you don’t like. Just a peaceful rural way of living.
The polish blood in Mike’s heart felt the call of that land of his ancestry. Mike was the first representative of his family since Stephan, who was his grand-grand-grandfather, that visited that land of calm measured life. When the bus got to Warsaw Mike could no longer help weeping, he hid behind the curtain of the bus window and wept, having pity on his Polish ancestor and himself. He went all tears and once a road repairs worker smiled broadly when he saw Mike so crying because of that view before his eyes.
Mike was so passionate by his experience of visiting the land of his ancestry that he told all the story to a middle aged Pole with the white sun bleached moustache. It was in the rest room when they washed the hands and Mike’s tale was high spirited. Then, Mike went out leaving Pole alone. Mike stood in the open air nearby the building of the gas station. An elder young man from their group went out.
‘What did you say to that Pole. He weeps over there in the rest room.’ He informed.
They stood some time in the air until the Pole went out and passing by Mike said, ‘Do you want a can of beer, I have it in the driver’s cab of my truck?’ He kept himself a man and it would be hardly seen that he was touched by the story to tears just few moments ago.
‘No, thanks, I do not drink.’ Said Mike…
Mike was impressed by Poland. Big cottages, European style of living. But, he felt that he was the representative of an entity and commonwealth that was quite of the different spirit. In a way, he felt that he was more Russian and wild steppe man than a Pole even in the Poland itself. To that civilized culture he opposed a barbarian instinct to destroy.
Once the bus stopped near a traffic light. On the board of the bus was a painted Russian tricolor flag. A Polish boy stopped riding on his bike just opposite to that painted symbol of Russian Empire. Mike saw that the boy was instinctively afraid when his eyes caught the sight of that Russian flag. There was a mix of sudden surprise, trouble and fear. The Polish boy even tried not to look forward at that frightful symbol and always turned his head aside. Whether the same forces of blood struggled in Mike’s soul?

Sick young man

Mike got acquainted with that young man in the drugstore where he had taken the psychiatric drugs. Mike knew what the names of the medicines he had taken meant and followed him. He began to talk about Jesus with that sick young man. Mike said Jesus could heal him.
‘It happened to me when I got into the jail,’ he said. ‘If some man took my sickness on himself I’d really serve him the rest of my life.’
Then, they had to part. But, the young man did not believe in the placebo of the Christian doctrine. Maybe, he had already tried to apply to that without any practical success? A schizophrenic might be accused of the lack of the believe of taking the unseen for the existing only by an ended preacher, Mike thought afterwards. Was there any practical sense in all that doctrine of the forgiveness of sins by the blood of the man who had died many years ago? Mike thought there was not. He believed in the God, but not in a man.


Dance girls

Mike’s civil wife Julia visited a folklore dance club and there always were a lot of pretty girls. Some could even be called beautiful. Mike was crazy and it was easy for him to imagine and believe that some day some most beautiful girls would become his brides in a big harem of his. He even kind of courted some of them on the open polygamy implication. Some of the girls reacted in a natural way and showed they counted it an offence. Mike recalled most of all a very beautiful one in high heeled short boots that lying on a bench probably to have a rest, probably to make a show as was natural in her age had jumped up when Mike had approached her and asked some joke concerning why she had lain flat.
Then, a girl got really interested in Mike and was not afraid to show it. For Mike there was a riddle whether she would accept his idea of polygamy. Could Mike really leave Julia that was sick and prefer a young girl without any problems and probably a virgin? Mike knew that not. So, being crazy he smiled to that girl when she smiled, and hoped that after he would get some money he would afford Julia plus this pretty dark-eyed girl.
Once when Julia was on a business trip in Krasnoyarsk, Mike went to the town festival on the main square. There he met this girl that passed the time with the parents or some relatives. Mike tried to invite her to pass some time together but she rejected his offer, and the girlfriends that always happen to be near in such cases said on her behalf that she was occupied. Mike tried to offer to follow them to the coffee shop on the bank of Jenisej river but they discarded that offer. So, maybe Mike put his points over the ‘i’s as the Russian say when imply that a matter is cleared out and no more questions hang in the air.
Then, Mike saw her after a year of her studies in Krasnoyarsk, the regional capital. She crossed the road with a girlfriend and they stopped to greet her dad or uncle that sat in a car, Mike did not know precisely who it was. Mike was so distracted by the scene that nearly got under a car when crossed the road to the opposite direction. It was now a bit different girl, more sure of herself. Maybe she lost her virginity?
For Mike it was a step to the understanding that not every girl he liked would add eventually to his harem and that there existed the other boys as the competitors whom he had to count with. But, it was not at that time an understanding, but rather a feeling that some force pushed on him, which he tried to resist but failed in this case for example. It was an obscure sense. Even at that moment he hoped for revenge.

Promised daughter

It was the time when the pastor of the church said that Mike should leave Julia because she was a divorced woman. Mike did not know if he would live with Julia. But, he loved her and wanted a sign from God. He lay in the broad bed with Julia. She slept.
‘Lord, will I have children from her?’ asked Mike.
At this moment he saw a blond girl in a wool suit of the black squares filled with cream color. She held a book under her arm and happily smiled as does a girl from a happy family. By the features of her face Mike knew she was his with Julia common child.
Then, on the way to Krasnoyarsk by bus to meet Julia who passed through her correspondence education exams Mike saw a baby, whom he realized, was his daughter.
After about a year Julia got pregnant. They said like baby would be sick and it was necessary to make an abortion. Even Julia threatened to dispose of the baby. Mike waited for a good job as a translator. So, he could not go to earn the money somewhere else not to do it wrong and leave the job of the less quality for the case if they called him to work.
Once Mike got real sorrowful because of all the pressure on him.
He cried out alone in the bed room, getting on the knees, ‘My daughter, forgive me that I gave birth to you from a sick woman and harlot. Forgive me please.’
Then, Julia left for a business trip to Krasnoyarsk. Mike did not know whether it was a miscarriage or abortion. He even was not sure that it was his child.
‘I’ll love you,’ said once Julia, ‘I’ll bear you children.’
But, she did not.
First Mike thought that the vision was what would happen anyhow. But, then he realized it was a promise. The Lord does not decide for the men or women. Mike accepted it, but Julia did not. The Lord promised, but Julia rejected it by her disbelieve. Why she did not believe? It was so because she did not want to have any children from Mike. She wanted to live through bad days. She did not need such husband as Mike. She wanted a fornicator who would betray her in secret and let her do the same. That was her understanding of forgiveness, friendship and marriage.
‘Who wants to betray a husband if all is Ok,’ she said.
This conditional approach made a harlot of her. But, Mike did not want to live with a harlot. He wanted that she really repented and became a Christian woman. But, she rejected it. That’s why she did not accept a promised daughter.
It’s the same with salvation. The Lord does not predestinate some men to salvation and some to eternal damnation. It’s always a personal choice. It’s made in the childhood when a person is yet free of the lust and may clearly show what is in his heart. ‘Who will not accept the kingdom of heaven as a child, will never enter therein,’ Jesus Christ said.
To have a good family and loving children, you should aspire to it. You should not say that it is not possible and make a self-realizing prognosis by your life, to become a fornicator or play a harlot. To have something and receive the promise of God in reality one should believe and make the steps not backward but forward. Mike knew he would receive this promised daughter from another woman, a Christian and a believer.

Ash business

Inna sat on the windowsill of the hostel room with the walls painted white.
‘But, what we will feed our kids with?’ asked Mike concerning their future big patriarch family. ‘What you will be occupied with?’
‘I will be an ecologist and my profession will be to conserve the nature.’ Inna said. ‘But, I know how I will earn the money for my children. My mom takes some ash of the burnt wood to strew upon the soil in the pots where the flowers grow. There’s a lot of the dead timber in the reservoir above the hydro-electric station a man told me and we will burn it and put into the packets and sell to the gardeners even abroad to fertilize the soil…’
When Mike was a man aged enough that idea of burning the dead timber in the bay of the water reservoir came into his head again. That timber was good almost for nothing but for wood coal that people really produced for the respirators production for the military and ordinary coal for the fire in the houses. Mike made some moves to start that business. He tried to get to the owner of the wood coal factory, find some investors among his foreign acquaintances, even to speak to Inga herself about that idea to make some scientific material for an ecological support. But, some force prevented him from all that. He could not find the courage to speak to Inga. The visit to the factory did not take place and the prospective investors even did not answer the emails. Maybe it was for the future to be accomplished?


Internet affair

Was it just an Internet fraud or there was really some money involved nobody might say for sure. But, the fact is that Michael played that game and he won it. How it all began? Mike happened to be in the Chamber of the Production and Commerce of the Republic of Khackassia. He was there because he was looking for a job. Why? It is already the other story, but here it was so that Mike caught the flair of something that interested him. It was a letter that was addressed almost to all the important businessmen of the Russia as it was pretended or was it so really the time should show out, and Mike needed it. So, he said to the female secretary that he needed some stuff to polish his English meaning the letter of the offer of collaboration. The girl shrugged her shoulders indicating that her official opinion was that she deemed that letter an Internet fraud. So, Mike got that paper. On the paper namely and on the diskette. Somehow, the file with the addresses of the Russian businessmen attached to the main letter got lost in the process of the negotiation. What was the offer? It was like a group of South African officials offered to Mike a business. They had the stolen money. Its etymology was as follows. No matter was it a legend or a real offer. They constructed the dams on the rivers in the Africa and some money on the special account was left. The problem was that the money should be spent only for the certain purpose of constructing the dams and other hydro system pieces. The guys over-invoiced the contractor and so they had the money on the other bank account. Why they needed Mike? It was as though they could not make the whole affair in a western country because of a strict policy on the money laundering. So, the Russia seemed them to be the ideal place to ‘invest’ as was the word. Mike should have had 12% of the sum of 14,500,000 USD. What he had to do? He had to open a bank account and receive the money. They should have faxed the papers but they did not because Mike’s instructions which he had given to his civil mother-in-law were not observed. Instead of keeping mum and simply pushing the button she helloed and echoed on the line and scared the sender. So, Mike was angry. Was it a real fraud or the guys wanted to back up after having understood they would have no legitimacy with Mike owing he was just a free lawyer and not an official or corporation nobody really knows as for now, but the fact was that they asked 10000 pound sterling off Mike as if to help launder the money. Maybe, Mike should have become a complete accomplice in that criminal affair or it was just a way to get the money off him. Of course, Mike had not so much money. So, he just threatened that if they did not transfer the whole sum on a bank account he had opened he would send all the relevant papers to any email addresses of the magazines and papers he knew and by the registered letters to the police in England and South Africa because now some lawyers from London got involved into the affair as if to help to launder the money. Mike would say that he was not guilty because his only purpose was just to bring to the book the criminals. As if he acted to collect enough evidence and then let them be grabbed by the long arm of the law. So, he himself was not responsible due he did not aspire to the committing of the whole crime and the happening of the criminal result of stealing and laundering the money from Africa. There was no corpus delicti in his acts. He was not under the penal responsibility while his dishonest companions were. Because they made all to make the crime happen but it did not really come out as an event in that Mike prevented it, in their acts there was an attempt to commit a crime. So, they were on the hook.
Mike laughed very long when he got that offer to pay 10000 pound sterling by a money-gram. He felt that the money was real. Then, he stopped any communicating with the guys. And, the guys had to speak with his mom calling for Mike with a plaintiff voice. Then, for about half a year Mike lost almost any interest in them. Why? He looked around and saw no woman whom he should have shared that loot with, whom he should risk for. Julia assured that she was a harlot. Inga was most loved but she claimed to be married. The other girls also hid from Mike in the marriages and juridical obligations. So, Mike quitted. For him it was just a tomcat and mouse play. He nearly strangled the mouse by his grip of jaw but then let it out to run around for some time. But, after a year Mike got interest in the South African money again. He emailed to the guy who called himself his partner and offered the help again. The guy offered for Mike to become the next of kin for a foreign contractor that had died in an automobile accident. Mike denied it as illegal. And, finally reading the Bible, the books of Moses and the divine law, Michael found that if a man stole the money he should pay five fourths of the stolen sum. Mike did not know where he would get five fourths of 14,500,000 USD. So, he quitted again and said to return that money to the poor people of the South Africa, which was plagued by AIDS, to the orphans. Instead Mike blessed the family of the man that did not become his partner in the crime and warned that such money would not have brought the happiness to the kids of those officials, but drugs, fornication, alcohol and so on. It was hard, really and physically hard for Mike, but he did it. In the meantime he declined an offer to take part in a money transfer for a Russia client, again millions of dollars. But, Michael believed in the God and for him the money was not all. On the contrary they could bring only the unhappiness, now he saw it. Then, when he reconsidered the case he thought that the money for the Russian client could be criminal and there would have been a certain threat to his life in all this affair. He needed a virgin as a wife and to become a pastor. Julia told the stories that she was a harlot and really a divorced woman and that her baby died, so she did not officially qualify for Mike as a wife. So, maybe Mike had what he wanted because he had an obscure suspicion that Julia simply cheated in her anger and vendetta against the Lord. The money he was offered did not have the real buying capacity by its energetic charge, Mike felt it. He had hoped that the world economy really needed his knowledge of the law and languages for the investment and thriving of economy, but what they offered him was the crime and illegality. He rejected it. Though Julia revenged him for that and left pretending to get common with another young man. But, Mike had a question why it was so hard for him to love through much suffering and pain and so easy for the other guys? Any woman pretended to be a harlot, but at a closer view that theorem did not prove right in that they did not have much sex with Mike with all his labors and pains. Maybe, they just needed the healthy babies? So, then the fortune of Mike was that of the bull in the veterinary station that had sex only with one or two cows while the veterinarian woman took the seed from the womb of the cow in the corral of the station and helped to get pregnant the other cows they led into the place. The lot of the bull was to receive the medical treatment when the sicknesses attacked him and his wives and progeny. Perhaps, Mike’s lot was the same. Julia left him after eleven orgasms in a row, in that the passion of Mike was strengthened by his clear understanding that she was a virgin. Maybe, Julia already had hers. Really, it is very hard to have sex with women. It is necessary to really suffer. Almost the same as to launder the dirty money.

Fun

It was during the travel to Prague, in a Russian town where they stopped to pass over from the train to the bus. It was when Mike turned a devout Christian, but before he knew for sure he had paid for the love of Julia with a true coin. Still, he found it not equitable that Julia gifted her virginity and freshness to her first boyfriend Robert for free when Mike had to pay for her love of the not first time with pain and labor. It was hard for him to realize he was counted less privileged by the woman he loved so much.
They climbed the route taxi microbus, he and the pastor with his younger son. In the microbus, they became the witnesses of a talk between the young people.
‘So, you fucked that foolish girl. You say she was a virgin?’ One of them demanded.
‘Yea, that’s what I say to you.’ The other one replied.
‘Really, so foolish for her,’ Was the opinion of the first.
They guffawed to show that they considered the sacrifice of the girl as the evidence of the utter stupidity. Was there any love and romance? Had been Julia’s first love affair the same? Why she had sacrificed so much? Why she had lost that which could not be restored the rest of her life? Why she had spoiled herself and her future? Had she loved her first boy so much, that having given much she had asked for nothing in return?


Thirty one hundred euro bills

It was sunny day of the end of July. It was full of perspective and enthusiasm. Mike knew that he was about to come to Prague for a Christian conference and maybe find a new virgin wife of an unspoiled reputation among the daughters of the believers. He knew English and it made it easier for him to communicate and make friends. He also spoke some French.
Michael came into the flat of the man who called himself Mike’s pastor to find out about railway tickets and all the matters connected with the travel planned. When Mike entered into his pastor’s home he felt that everybody were a bit more serious than usual but he did not pay much attention to that.
‘Hello, Vitally, God bless you, so what’s about the tickets and all it?’ asked Mike full of the interior vigor of life.
‘It turns out Mike that you do not come with us.’ Said Vitally.
‘Why?’ Mike asked losing all his stamina in the process of pronouncing that simple word.
‘Helen returned all your tithe money to your mom.’ Said the man.
‘Ok,’ said Mike.
After several attempts to converse on some topics Mike left the house. It turned out that Vitally as was the name of the pastor decided to dispose of Mike’s tithe money intended for a trip abroad due his wife Helen had quarreled with the mother of Julia, the girl with whom Mike also parted after some misunderstanding on the appropriateness of using the word ‘bitch’. Helen and Julia’s mother Natalie met on the job and had a quarrel as though they robbed Mike of his money. Mike knew it was a gesture on the part of Helen and Vitally. Everybody knew that the money was for Mike to come to Prague and it would have been very easy to defend the equitability of the whole affair. From his early childhood Mike had a feeling for a plot growing shoulder to shoulder to his puckish cousins and the boys in the school who used to challenge Mike’s leadership in his class. So, Mike felt a kind of cheap conspiracy against him that some kind of people always abounded with in respect of him. Mike recalled his childhood. The way the story was turned was so cheap that Mike was not only disappointed but also offended. He went on a dusty road under the evening warming beams of the sun and decided to stay obstinate and prove his right for the future and what was promised to him. The religious man had talked much with Mike during a February evening when they had proposed him to work an interpreter on the construction of an aluminum plant. He said that the Lord was against it and that Mike should know that a career of a religious minister was in access to him and he should marry a virgin and forget Julia and all his former feelings. Although deep in his heart Mike had his own game he accepted it. His own idea was that he could live on a polygamy basis. The reason why Mike liked this sect at all was that almost the first week of having been acquainted with the pastor and his family he had been given a brochure of the sermon of their prophet on the marriage and divorce in which he saw clearly an acknowledgement of the polygamy matrimony. It was necessary for him to dream of returning his former loves as his private mistresses belonging only to him. So, Mike anticipated that the people in the Message as the sect was called would accept the idea that Mike would have many wives. So, Mike felt that even a virgin was not a right deal with him because he had been given no credit line in his youth and had lived long without a woman at all having worked hard on the study of the law and foreign languages. On the other hand, Mike felt himself obliged to Julia for a year of common life. So, Mike intended to match it somehow. Or, at least to have a virgin as a wife. So, Mike decided to be dogged. He came to his pastor’s flat the next day and tried to mend the business provided his mom had told that she was not in the idea of taking the money. She had said that Helen came in much huff and gave the money back having paid no due attention to the diplomatic effort of the mom to somehow settle the matters for a new start. Mike rang the bell. Helen opened the door.
‘God bless you, is Vitally home?’ asked Mike.
‘Come in, he’s home.’ Said Helen.
Mike went in and put off his boots. He entered the main room in which they held the meetings.
‘I spoke to my mom and she said that she had no hand in taking back the money, I…’ barely said Mike.
‘Mike, don’t hurry, we just decided this question. I took a decision that you will maybe come if we have enough money. But, I think we’ll have enough. We won’t ask that money back. We’ll buy you a ticket with the money that Jim, Grace, Jane and Irene will get. Maybe we will have a chance to receive some help in Prague.’ The pastor announced his idea.
Mike felt that he was restricted in his freedom if he traveled on the orphans’ money. It was as though he was a hireling and not a free man. However he had nothing but to accept.
When in Prague it was all splendid: the girls had long hair and skirts, natural beauty at the absence of cosmetics. Although Mike felt all the way to the conference that he was treated a bit as a servant, now he was on his hobbyhorse. He spoke English and French. The host of the conference, the pastor of the church in the Message to Prague, even invited Mike to stay in the city as a guest. But, Mike felt himself to be obliged monetary. And, the day came when the price was called. The pastor said he needed three thousand euro for the way back. At that moment Mike felt a deep and a bit sweet pain in his soul. Now, he knew what the man played half the year for. But, Mike did not develop his ideas for now. He left it for a future day to think on.
So, Mike got on the trail of the host that was responsible for all financial questions to get the money off him with the grip of a professional lawyer.
‘I’m a lawyer, that’s professional,’ Mike excused himself of the harassment.
He bawled better in the financial dialogues of the sponsors and proved they needed so much money. The idea of the necessity of namely so much money and not eight hundred euro as had been budgeted, came from the fact that the pastor Vitally stated they had no return tickets. So, maybe it would be of need to buy the tickets of a higher class.
Deep in his heart Mike felt an idea that he insisted on this urgent clubbing together on the principle of let’s collect the thirty pieces of silver for Judas Iscariot, because he was not stupid not to realize that it was specially plotted by Vitally. Finally, Mike attained the point when they were ready to cash down. He had hung upon them till that moment with the decisiveness of a bulldog. Mike proposed to take the money and sign the paper for it, but they said that the pastor should take the whole loot. Mike had only time to promise that if some money were left it would be used for a future trip to the seven thunder conference as was the name of the religious movement. Vitally was called and appeared with an expression on the face of a fox that was to boot used to look after the chicken. But, Mike was a candid person and believed the legend of Vitally, however, he thought the pastor could have been more careful in the preparation of the trip. When the money got into the hands of the pastor he could not control himself anymore. He counted the bills and decided that the fourth thousand of euro paid for another Siberian church what they needed not really as they said afterwards should be immediately distributed. He was feverish and did not listen to what was asked of Mike by the organizers of the conference. So, there was a bad outcome. The woman whose money should have been given to the man who bought the tickets home for her spent all her money and there was no sum to pay the lender. Mike himself was specially remarked that this part of the money should have been given to the pastor of Prague as a mediator. He could stand no longer the tricks of his pastor. He began to find out on the matters in the main hall of the conference where the meetings had been held, which was now cleared up of furniture. Vitally called him out to the darkness of the August night and began to explain that it was all Ok, but Mike insisted that it was not Ok and tried to find out why the pastor did not listen to him and misused the money. After all, Vitally concluded that the financial question spoiled Mike as it had been with Judas Iscariot. This way all was left.
When the time to buy the tickets came, Vitally asked to get off the bus with the religious tourist group and taking the money a little bit above the price of reserved-seat tickets came down alone, not taking Mike with him as the last had proposed. When on the train Mike asked to look at the tickets that looked much like those that sold in the office in their home town Shushenskoe, but Vitally smiled and said it was Ok and did not need to be looked at.
Only after several months Mike got the whole idea of his pastor’s machination. He simply bought all the back tickets already at home before the whole trip. It was simply owing to the fact that all the tickets were already sold out in a month before the date during the summer season. It was not strange that Mike understood it only now due Vitally was a guru for him and he had not put his actions into a doubt or a critical view. It was hard for Mike to realize that his job perspectives and personal life was just a stake in the game of that wicked man. Though, already in Prague he felt that his love to the Lord was traded by another man who deemed himself his master. Vitally hinted that he counted himself as Abraham having many slaves in a patriarch family. Did he really think he had hired Mike for that? Mike tried to put this matter to the review of the man who anointed Vitally for the service and was a pastor of the church in Brussels but he did not react in a proper way leaving it to Mike and Vitally themselves. The pastor proposed to leave the matter to the Lord. After all, Mike felt himself cheated. The men and women who seemed to be godly and special turned out to be mere caretakers of their own greed.
Once Mike recalled to Vitally that the money had been intended for the following trips to Prague, but the pastor pulled his jaw down and out of an insulted dignity asked Mike what relation he had to that money.
To justify himself the pastor build with his own hands the playing yard for the orphans with an expense of about one thousand euro though he claimed it to be a grant on the part of some sawmill workers. But the Lord rejected such a sacrifice out of the stolen tithe money taken from the treasury of the temple. The orphanage house was divided and transferred to another place and all Vitally’s effort was the profit of ordinary kindergarten children.
Mike had a strong opinion that all the intricate events of his adult life were just what he reaped having been sown in his childhood. He had the relevant reminiscences in his mind he recalled Vitally’s wife Helen she required with some strange logic that Mike should talk to her husband and persuade him to be a minister and earn money on this activity taking into account that he was a former prisoner due Mike preached himself though a little boy. It somehow was conditioned to Mike’s bid for Julia. It was in the hospital room. Helen scolded Julia’s mom Natalie that she had slept with a husband of another woman and that was the cause of her trouble. Natalie wept. Mike wanted Julia as a virgin and it would be necessary for her to wait for Mike till he was twenty-three because such was his vow to the Lord. Natalie said that it was long and small Julia liked the other boys. Helen in her turn pleaded her own case, how she had waited for her husband Vitally from the jail and stayed a virgin. She asked what she had in return and demonstrated the sick baby in her arms. It was a girl named Olivia. And, Mike did not remember if he ever bade for her as a possible acquisition for his harem. Then, Mike remembered Vitally how he cursed much at the idea that he should become a minister and laughed after he knew it was his wife’s idea. He asked if he could earn money on it, and if Mike would pray for him if he stole the church cash. Mike said that yes. And, when he was older Mike prayed for Vitally and his family after he knew the man had stolen the church cash.

A divorce that did not take place

It was a hard matter to solve. Mike was quite in a predicament. He loved Julia but it was very painful for him to know that he was not first for her and that she had been in the past a girl that were not very scrupulous in choosing her bedmates. Mike wanted to part with Julia and change her for a young virgin maiden as the pastor of the small home church Vitally promised. He said that many girls in their religious movement waited for a prince and kept themselves untouched. Mike liked the idea that somebody would take the responsibility for such a rude act as leaving Julia. The more so, Vitally referred to sacred principles of the Bible that it was bad to marry a divorced woman. So, Mike felt that many moral and human forces were on his side not to come out of the whole affair as a dastard.
Julia pleaded her case in many ways. She indicated that her former husband Jack was already married again and had a baby from his new wife. She said that she had many husbands and Mike was one of them. All the same the verdict of the pastor was strict. Mike should leave Julia. And, Mike followed the order that benefited him in a way. However, Julia kept her grip on Mike, she came to his home and wept not able just to stand shoulder to shoulder with her former lover during the church meetings. For Mike it was also hard to find out that the woman with which he slept was the wife of another man and he could not touch her. Nevertheless, it ended as it must have ended. Mike was not able to stand the abstinence from the fleshly connection with the woman and he went to Julia and knew her. After a month of complete forbearance from sex, Mike’s mind got more flexible as to the possibility to sleep with Julia. It’s hard to say whether Mike had just been on the brink of insanity or he had already crossed this border a bit, but now he knew no obstacles between his desire and the meek and soft body of Julia. His idea was that he could keep her his concubine. Then, he should not marry her and the law was kept. He was ready to take care of her in his whole life not calling her his wife. It was the grace and law not contradicting to one another in Mike’s view. Mike ought to do it because he found no forces in himself to leave Julia.
But, then they quarreled and parted. Nothing more prevented Mike from thinking on marrying a virgin and realizing it in his life. But, all this was postponed till the coming of the pastor from Brussels, considered to be a senior. Thus, he arrived and Mike anticipated that all the matters would be settled now. That expert opinion of the Belgian evangelist was necessary because Julia had a strong lobby among the feminine part of the church, especially the pastor’s wife Helen who was a latent feminist in her views. Mike thought that now when he had made friends with many girls in the other churches in Russia and even Europe the problem was rather solved. Especially, if to take into account that he parted with Julia and she visited the church no more. But, when the guests (the Brussels pastor and the translator from Latvia) arrived to the local church, the pastor had the other news to communicate to Mike.
‘The matter is very serious for you as Brother Guido and Brother Denis had explained it to me, it’s like you should marry Julia, because you were together and all this,’ Vitally said on the way of the group from the orphanage house.
And, it turned out that yes it was so in the eyes of the newcomers. It had been that Brother Guido prayed to the Lord to ask if Julia was Mike’s wife and the Lord said that yes it was so. Mike knew it himself. But, his idea was that Julia was a concubine and if he could marry only one woman as was the reason of the monogamists, it should be a virgin to become a queen of his house, while the rest will be concubines. So, it was completely contrary to Mike’s ideas of matrimony. He knew he would not register his relations with Julia officially as the church now required. He felt cheated. He sacrificed his best job offer in his whole life as yet, he gave more than half a year to the church and now they offered him to marry a woman that was not a virgin and lose the priesthood. It was not a fair deal in respect of Mike as he reckoned. However, he knew his rights. He went to Julia’s home and knew her passionately and with a feeling of property.
Julia was happy and smiled much on the meeting in a hall rented by the church for the others to come and listen. She did it mainly to defy Vitally whom she thought she had won in her argument for what was right and what was wrong. Mike was also glad that he could hold Julia in his arms, but the slight that he received through the offer to marry Julia officially grieved him much. So, he knew he would drive his own bargain and he knew he would do it hard.
Maybe the way it all happened was the reason why the girls required that Vitally would be Mike’s pastor. Then, in Mike’s childhood.

Beautiful girl on a photograph

Mike knew about that young woman from the stories Julia told about her. She was her girlfriend. Her classmate and friend was her lover for some time. That’s why she knew her. They also had some personal relations and maybe could be called girlfriends in respect of each other. Mike knew that the girl was pretty one and had a modest boy as her friend, so she abused much of her position of a stronger sexual partner and played a harlot with the other men. Julia complained that her former husband Jack had boasted that he had lain in bed with her. So, she could be called a lewd woman on the basis of the strict morals Mike shared from the time he accepted Jesus as his Lord.
But, there also was a story that she slept with two men at once, her constant boy and Julia’s classmate, who was her boyfriend just for some time. Mike asked Julia to show him her by photo. And, when he saw her it was a very beautiful girl with regular features of the face. Mike knew that Julia’s classmate was not a really tough guy or somebody to be made stakes on in the life, he was rather a simpleton. Mike could not understand why such a girl preferred her boyfriend for him even though just for some time. Mike also could not keep patient with the fact that this woman had sacrificed an honest and happy family life for being a harlot. It was hard for Mike to accept her priorities. Mike lived, before he had met Julia and accepted that he was a lost man and could not have a family, with a strong desire to have an ideal conjugal union and he made all for it. Now, he knew that all his efforts were betrayed by such girls as this one and Julia in some part. He looked at her beautiful face on the photo. At this period of life, Mike’s self-confidence was on the level of being insane, he was sure that he would be able to conquer this woman and turn her his concubine. He planned to conquer her not only by money through a good career, but he was sure that the girl would seek an honest life and find it in his harem. Mike did not dream at that time, and all his thoughts for the future, most unreal, had the character of the materialist ideas. Looking upon the photo Mike felt the depressive influence and a challenge to conquer in the same time.

Blond Julia

A blond girl cried to Mike, ‘Only take me into your harem and I’ll bring you the children like a cat, by three and four, you won’t be able to feed them. How you want to nourish all your children if you have a harem? You’re a fool…’
Mike was on his way to Krasnoyarsk. He was to visit his wife Julia. He called her his concubine, but it did not change the essence, she was his civil wife. What strategy Mike wanted to pursue to resist the influence of the promiscuity club that the rest of the people were in as Mike could see it? What Mike wanted in his life? He wanted a faithful wife. He wanted an ideal love affair. He wanted a once and for all love affair that would take the form of marriage. He wanted to have his only one, a virgin that would never betray him with another man. For this Mike was ready to keep faith himself. But what Mike had? It was Julia. Mike was about eighth or ninth in the row of her lovers. He was not even second choice. She did not prefer him having left another man. Simply, she was good for almost nobody and Mike took her. It was even presumed that it was risky to have sexual relations with her before the doctor said it was Ok. So, what Mike could do? She wished Mike would sleep with some other woman and get calm. But, for Mike it was a humiliation. He worked hard to earn his happiness. A woman should open a credit line to a young man to start an ideal love for the whole life. At that time she is young and attractive. But, the young man poor and needy. But, he is ready to work and earn. That’s a bargain. The girl gives herself to the young man for the future benefits. Then, when already the man is rich and able to have all he wants by money and influence he keeps faith to the woman of his youth. That’s the equitability. But, nobody opened a credit line to Mike. All women he loved wanted it now and right now. And, they wanted to have it with other boys, who were more lucky having better and more careful parents, who had cars and money. Mike promised it already in his childhood to Inna and Tina that he won’t have a new car from his dad and pocket money. This curse hung on Mike. So, he got a harlot, defiled by many. What could he do? He tried to leave Julia, but she wept and clasped to Mike with the decisiveness of a bulldog. Mike had pity and might not leave her in her troubles. But, it was not right that he had such a woman. So, what was his choice? He decided that if he did not have a virgin, then he should spend the money he earned by hard labor for two or three harlots. Or, maybe a virgin as a senior wife. Because Mike was offended that no girl was ready to share his life when he was a wretched fellow. He had too much of cash down money to be glad only for one wife. And, he did not want to leave Julia. But, in the same time he wanted to have a virgin. Or, another woman who would accept polygamy. So, Mike was a polygamist. He kept his former loves and he dreamed that he would recover them. He dreamed that he would have Tina, Jane and Inga. He loved them too much to be able to share them with other men. He might not accept them as mistresses, for example. It seemed that any one of them could accept it. But, to become very rich and take only one of them after somebody however beautiful they were was too much of humiliation for Mike to accept.
Everybody blamed Mike for it. Everybody thought Mike was arrogant. Anybody thinks that a real love is when a man is able to do for his love anything. To accept any conditions. To be a dog. To be flogged with a whip by the woman. But, Mike did not accept it. And, the men were angry with Mike due they were not that strong themselves. And, the women – because Mike was not like the others, because he wanted not to accept a role of a slave. But, Mike played his game this way. Maybe, he even was to help another woman who got into a bad state because of her life. Julia was not lonely in her trouble. Mike hoped that the women would accept it. Julia herself accepted it for that time. She was ready for it she said…
The bus stopped near a road coffee shop. Mike took out with the rest of the passengers. He stretched his legs and went into the building. When he entered into the interior, he saw on his right a beautiful blond woman. She said at a table and a lean bad shaped bloke talked to her on something. She was tired of it. Mike was really surprised to a thought that such woman could sleep with such a bloke. ‘Money work miracles,’ thought Mike. His idea was that the woman traveled by a car. He never had an idea that such a beauty could travel by bus. Mike did not sleep with Julia for about two weeks. It was complete forbearance. That’s why Mike was bolder. Surely, it was just biologically that the blond woman reacted to his strong behavior full of self-confidence. However, Mike had fine clothes. Perhaps it also worked. Mike was sure of his future. He knew he would be rich and successful. It attracted the women. The same was with this blond beauty. She was from the other bus from the other town on the same federal road. It was deep in a warm but fresh night of June. The blond girl wanted for a sign of attention from Mike, as women of her beauty are always accustomed to receive. She stood in front of her bus waiting for Mike. But, Mike had his time. He did not want a long conversation that would show his weakness. Just when the bus was about to get away and the passengers climbed on it, Mike approached the blond beauty.
‘Hello, my names Mike. And, what is your name?’ Mike demanded.
‘Julia,’ she answered.
‘What you go into Krasnoyarsk for?’ Mike asked.
‘To get into the pedagogical institute. We with the girls have graduated from the Minusinsk pedagogical college with red diplomas and they promised to enroll us on the third year course. We’re future English teachers.’ She told.
‘So, you speak English?’ asked Mike of her.
‘So-so,’ she said in English to show she knew some colloquial English.
‘I have also written a book in English,’ said Mike.
‘So, you’re a professor.’ She said to show she was blond and stupid, as the men like.
‘Not yet,’ Mike said. ‘I’ll see you again.’ He affirmed.
At that time she had to climb the bus.
Of course, anybody would call Mike a villain because of his polygamy ideas, especially women. But, here’s a question. What if Mike was not a polygamist, potentially, of course, would he not leave sick brown-haired Julia for blond Julia? Of course, the idealists would say that he should have kept faith to first Julia without any thoughts of blond Julia. But, such idealists are hypocrites. You bet that any one of them would leave sick Julia completely for the blond Julia. That’s what should be called hypocrisy.
The more so, Mike was afraid of beautiful women. He knew what they wanted. Money. That’s natural, no blame. But, Mike also knew what was the way the ambitious young lawyers wound up. That’s a bullet in the head after he deals with some real big business transactions. If you are a young poor lawyer and don’t do it, beautiful girls will make friends with the boys who has wealthy parents. That’s also natural. Mike was on the threshold of such a life. With Julia he could keep himself from it. But, what if he got another woman, even more beautiful and demanding? Mike could end up bad way. He already had it in the past. Sickness and all it. The Lord gave him a second chance when Mike accepted the blood of Jesus, and Mike was healed. Would he now trade this to the men who scorned him in the past, and the girls who would not even look into his side three or four years ago? Of course, not. Once, they had said to Mike that he had lost his life time chance. Mike really lost it. He knew how hard it was. You cannot blame Mike just because he got more clever. Polygamy was his tactics of defense against the feminine abuse. It was a way to keep faith to sick Julia, in a situation when Mike was attacked by more fortunate and beautiful women. If somebody again says that it is bad, you bet he’s or she’s a hypocrite and will steal your money if there’s an opportunity. Then, of course, you’ll say I would have done it myself, I mean having stolen the money, and conserved your respect for such a person, all this provided you think Mike was a villain.
So, when the bus from Shushenskoe stopped near the bridge and Mike saw the blond woman by the road in the same company, he could get out and get friends with this blond Julia, forgetting about his own Julia, to think of afterwards a story about something to report for the absence, as hypocrites always do. But, Mike did not it. Instead he got to the bus station. Waited for the bus to go to the different end of the city, and met Julia. She awoke and keeping slouch to conserve the warmth of the bed hugged him. Then after her brother James left the room, they had pleasant sex.
Then, when Julia and Mike were on the same bus stop near the bridge that was central for the whole bus net, he met the blond Julia again. She just went out of her own bus. She saw Mike with Julia on the bench. Mike’s Julia had long skirt and hair, as the church they visited required. The blond woman got mad eyes as a person that witnessed a stark absence of equitability. The adrenaline rushed into her blood. She leaving far behind her girlfriend went by the asphalt lane by the bench where Mike and Julia sat. Mike made a bit guilty expression but all the same looked confidently into the eyes of the blond young woman. He did not cheat anybody. The young blond woman passed up the steps that led up the hill. She surely was offended. She knew by the looks of Julia that her place of a repented harlot in the hands of a good boy was already occupied. The other Julia was faster. Mike and his woman got into their own bus. From the bus Mike watched the young blond woman, who a bit returned into her senses and descended from the steps. Their eyes met. The blond woman understood why Mike watched her so confidently. It was because he proposed this way. For both Julias to be possessed by Mike. Mike did not cheat. Mike could afford it. He could go to work on a job that earns ten times average salary even before it. Then, he could afford two women. The eyes of the blond woman showed she was contrite for too much of self-assurance.
Then Mike tried to answer, already when Julia left him for another man, why he professed all these polygamy ideas. Whether he could not live as the rest? To get a second woman only when he earned very much money? Mike had this idea, that he could compromise. That he could forgive the treason of youth for his wife in return for a fun in the adult age when Mike would get rich and with means. It was a compromise. But, then Mike decided to live a sanctified life. He got more demanding to himself, and that’s why more demanding to other people. People should live by rules. Mike felt this way. He knew it was hard to live a regular way in the human society, especially modern one. But, he also knew that there was a way to live by the right rules. And, all the problems in his life were due to the fact that the people around him did not respect the goodness and divine rules of behavior. Could he forgive? Of course, yes. He knew how hard it was to resist the sin. He went crazy because of it. He knew how easy it was to make a mistake. But, he was a man of principle. He saw that many women also needed such a man as Mike was, not only Julia. The other women also looked at him with the eyes full of call. Mike could not love them secretly, he wanted to do it in an open patriarch way. That’s what made a priest of the Lord of him. Somebody should be principled to tell the truth. After all it ended, Mike himself felt a bit guilty that he could not put up with the past of Julia. But he could not accept a woman that was a mistress of many in compensation for the defiled marriage. He was a Christian, so he could not sleep with harlots and spend family money on it as his own dad, for example, had done along with booze ruining the home finances, in return for the spoiled marriage life. He wanted whether a virgin marriage or a patriarch family with repented harlots. Why should he compromise? He knew how bad it was by the life of his parents. And, he was serious in his youth. He spent all the time on study and presumed his wife should keep herself a virgin. However he forgave Julia and all his girls whom he had loved, especially when Julia left him.
Whether he really needed a harem of harlots? Once Mike thought about it. It was a torture for him to think that all his sufferings, pain, hard labor were to pay for the amusement of the youth on the part of his many wives if there were some. He prayed to the Lord that He would pass it off Mike. It was really painful. Mike could forgive a harlot, but he wanted a virgin. Otherwise the lust drove him to think of many women. The harem was the only possible way, because Mike would not sleep with a harlot or married woman as many men do. He was a man, who believed in the divine rules.

Curling hair

The day when a man meets a really beautiful woman is always a special day of his life. You do not meet the true beauty every day of your life. That is why for Mike, it always brought about special feelings when he saw a beautiful woman. That would be a remarkable day, which would be remembered the whole life. The source of esthetic emotions. On one of such days, Mike met a brunette girl with the curling hair. She had the Caucasus blood, which did make her really pretty. Mike had come to that college where he had seen her because of another girl, a blond one. Mike did not want to lose that girl totally from his life, due he still wanted to keep her in the range of his dreams of planning the future. He came there to find out for sure she had got enlisted to the college. He did not find out. And, now he met that new beauty of a quite opposite sort, which made his heart tremble. She had on a red summer dress. For Mike, it was a secret if she knew her real price and would accept him. He had no real money and wanted only to find an object of dreaming of. All his plans of becoming rich were the matter of the future. But, the girl was free now. Would she wait for Mike to become rich and capable to buy her into a marriage before getting occupied? Really, Mike thought little on that. All he wanted was to dream, and he would never lose her image from his heart. In his age, the tough truth of the reality did not bereave of dreaming, not taken into account, never accepted completely.


Julia the Virgin

There was another Julia. It could not be said that there was another Julia in Mike’s life. Mike would not be bold enough to call her the girl of his love. And, you’ll understand why.
First time Mike ever heard about her in his adult life was when he was already a student of the law school. He heard about a girl, who kept her virgin and did study well to become an interpreter of English. But, before Mike got disappointed in girls he loved he never thought about her seriously. But, a certain day of his life when he was already broken hearted and broken headed, his mom said to him that there was a girl, whose name was Julia and who was lonely as yet. At that time, Mike already did understand a thing or two about the influence of bad women on the life of a man, whom he was. So, he wanted to have a true friend as a girl. Of course, he hoped for deep relations, but right now he was ready to propose just friendship. First it was Julia’s mom, whom he talked with. She was a strict feminist as they said about her. But, a feminist that was reputed to keep morals. A kind of blue stocking. She pretended not to know that Mike was sometimes crazy when the life got too much to bear for a sound reason. Really, the initiative came from this woman. Then, Mike talked to Julia herself. He hoped that his knowledge of English would be a start of a friendship. Mike said he needed a person to practice his English. He proposed to build their relations on this basis. It was only natural. He could not say just right away that he was to propose to Julia to be his love, because Mike was in a very doubted personal situation. He even could not say to her let’s be friends. He needed some ground to move gradually on. It turned out that Mike was a better English speaker than Julia was. Mike called himself by the phone, and that exposed him much, but he needed a friend.
After his initiative, his friend Jack talked with Mike on all this. His mother belonged to the same company as Mike’s mom and that of Julia.
‘Mike, that’s a friendly advice. Don’t make the approaches toward this girl. They say like you harass her. I say it to you as a friend. Stop phoning her. Yea, that’s what they say about all it. I mean Julia’s mom and they all. Like this crazy boy bothers her girl. You understand Mike. That’s what they all say.’ Jack narrated.
Many days, many weeks, many months and about two years later, Mike again had a chance to communicate with Julia the Virgin. At that time, he already had his own Julia as bedmate and a concubine, will you like it or not. At that time Mike already proved that he was able to compensate his sickness materially. The labors through which he received his sickness brought the natural result of material success. Though, Mike did not fully avail of it. However, his own Julia held her grip on him so on. Mike visited the church and dreamed to become a pastor. Then, he disappointed in all the false exaltation of the organized religion. He simply wanted to serve the Lord on his own and have a virgin. But, he had his Julia. And, really he loved her. So, he decided that he would have two or more wives. He thought about it in regard of Julia the Virgin. Julia the Virgin got a job in a national park as an interpreter. Mike visited her once and told about his life. She was beautiful and attractive. She wore a short skirt, used cosmetics, and it was a mystery for Mike why she was able to keep virgin till that time. Mike’s attention was to woo her in a gentle kind of a way. But, she did not react somehow to make up for a deeper engagement.
Once Mike was in the police office that was near the national park. His visit was about his foreign passport. When he came back on the lane he saw Julia in the open window of the national park building. It was hot summer days. Mike waved his hand to greet Julia. But, she retreated into the darkness of the room.
Then, Mike met her once occasionally. He talked with her just as a friend.
‘Listen, Julia. The virgins are at the price of the gold in the Message. You could marry a foreigner, ‘cause you know English. I’ll give you a brochure, or better a pair of them. Read, maybe you’ll accept it. Yea, take care.’
‘Thanks,’ said Julia and came into the entrance of her condominium.
Then, Mike found out that Julia with her mom already visited the church to which Mike belonged, but it was not for long.
After all, Julia lost her virginity as they said. It was for a car driver in the national park. He already had a wife and a daughter. They said like he was divorced or something like that. Anybody counted Julia as a mistress, not a wife. Was it for a pretence of being a free woman? Who knows? Anyhow she traded her virginity for a trifle, if she had it.
Then, Mike saw her a pair of times. What was his impression? She was paler and did not look around. She looked straightforward. That’s why Mike never met her eyes.
He recalled when he had met Julia without her mother in his childhood.
‘I’ll better become a mistress of a car driver than to become your wife. I also got my beloved one.’ She claimed in the heat of emotions.
Was there a virgin?

Doubted virginity of Sister Irene

The atmosphere in the flat was that of a busy bustle. The gray light of the cloudy day penetrated into the guest room of the Old Sister Claudia’s flat. All the sisters were occupied with serving the table that stood in the room. The dishes appeared one by one on the deep brown wooden table, conveyed by the swift hands. Mike was for the first time in that average size city under Pskov that was called literally Great Bows. He did not remember afterwards how Sister Irene appeared in the room, but it was because they began to talk about the virginity. Almost after the first preliminary words on that topic Irene tried to threaten her own pastor with the evidence of sin against him.
‘But, I don’t feel shy because I never did it to have sex with the men, if not to reckon that case with you.’ Here her eyes met those of her toothless pastor, who looked at her with disdain and the full assurance that the system of the things in that international sect was on his side. She tried to challenge but it seemed in vain. So, she hurried to patch up the whole matter to make it look like a kind of a tongue slip, though Mike remembered her eyes full of momentary anger and hatred. But, she subdued. ‘Yes, I don’t feel diffident because I am a virgin at my age.’
As it was always with Mike, his intuition and the precocious understanding of the matter advised him not to expose himself for the findings out on the case, and made his heart not to jump up but to keep down putting the entire affair on a far off shelve of his mind for a more convenient time. Mike did not show he understood the relations of the sect priest and his subordinate and he did it so because now that scrap for the consequences of the past sex was not in his interests. But, he did not meditate on all it before he took such a decision, simply he made it by heart. All the same, he could now only to make a fool of himself trying to clarify that muddy stuff. He knew that after a check of power the balance drove Irene to keep it secret. Simply, Pastor Vitally was a boss so far and Mike knew by his guts that the whole gang played against him. It’s always so in the sects. Mike really believed in all that stuff about what they said about themselves, but by his back-conscience he controlled the situation. Deep in his heart Mike knew they used him and wanted to make what was of any avail on his believes.
Then, after some time Mike was quite disappointed in all that sect, their life and their prophet. Still, he believed in the Bible and its sacred power. He understood after some time, if it could be called an understanding, due Mike just took it out of the stockpile of his memory, that the toothless pastor made Irene lose her virginity. There was much talk that Sister Irene should have lived in the flat of the pastor reserved for a church, but the spiritual boss himself would have bought a new flat for his family by the providence of the Almighty, provided he had stolen already enough money on his back tickets machinations. Thus, Mike hating the toothless pastor decided to expose the whole matter with the pastor of Brussels, who kind of had pledged for the man with the ceremony of putting on the hands and anointing. But, as in any organization of hypocrites they all decided to muffle up the whole affaire. But, Mike really felt that if Irene was an orphan it was for Mike to negotiate for the amount of the compensation for her lost honor. So, it was by the law of the Old testament. That if a man seduced a maiden he should marry her or pay a fine that was usually taken for a maiden given into marriage, if the father did not accept such a husband for his daughter. So, Mike put a choice before the whole sect with its headquarters dispersed among the Western Europe cities and USA, whether they accept the polygamy which was so strongly professed by Mike and preached in an elusive way by their bald prophet, and the toothless pastor should take his pupil into a second marriage but not to play it secretly on the basis of the clandestine attitude against the rest of the world, or he should pay a compensation. Anyway there was a scandal. And, however it was the same with the rest of their international sect that pretended to worship the God in the person of a man that died two thousand years ago, they did not like it when it was said that they were the same as the rest of the world with all their believes, voices of angels and the visions of the future. Sister Irene fled the scandal and hid in a Northern town where the State gave her a flat. They said like she loved Mike now. Yes, really she made her stake for Michael now. Anyhow, she knew he had the fangs and real ones, not like that preacher who implanted the plastic teeth.
Who knows? Maybe, Sister Irene just played to discredit the spiritual boss because he tried to harass her in a gentle kind of a way or there was something really between them. The Russian say there is no smoke without the fire. Anyhow, Mike did not like Irene. It seemed that she got something off that false preacher of the heavenly things gotten for gratis, provided you pay him the price, who was always dirty and stinky. It seemed that there was the presence of that spiritual dirt on Sister Irene. She had always-gray clothes and resembled a mouse much.
What was in all it, and if Mike had any lever of the pressure on that international gang of people who pretended to be special? Anyway, they all say in that case: Jesus forgives us and only us.

Morning star

It was a sunny August day in Prague. It was the first day of the Christian conference. Mike was happy to use his knowledge of English and communicated with all that were encountered in his way.
‘Try to guess where I came from. I traveled eight days,’ asked Mike off a young man surely older than Mike himself was.
‘Australia?’ the swarthy young man ventured.
‘No, Siberia,’ Said Michael waiting for an encouragement.
‘Hmm,’ said the young man in much disappointment.
‘You kind of disappointed?’ asked Mike the young man.
‘No, no,’ said he as if to get rid of an importunate fly.
It hardly could be said that Mike was offended. But still he tried to turn it out a jocular way. He approached a pair of the swarthy men of about forty or fifty who seemed to be pastors and tried to get in touch on the ground of the complaint he had against the young man that reckoned it low that Mike was from Siberia.
‘Tis Ok, don’t worry and take it close to your heart,’ said one of the men.
‘You know I got a morning star in my heart. I saw how it flew into my heart during a night,’ hardly began Michael.
‘Low, low,’ said both men.
Mike did not understand the reason for their skepticism.
‘You mean to keep down?’ asked Mike.
‘Yea, surely, keep down.’ The swarthy man said.
Mike did not understand why nobody shared his happiness of being a chosen son of the God. Then, it turned out that many people had much slight upon Mike and he felt himself offended. In the world everybody harmed Mike in any possible way and made fun of his sorrows. And, he was sure he would meet quite the contrary in the community of the people who called themselves Christians. But, it seemed to be the same. It differed not much from the world. It was the same human mass with their ambitions and complexes. Those who seemed to be godly turned out to be the ordinary people, the way he saw in the world.
It was the second meeting of the people that had arrived to the conference to begin. The music played after the psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came to him, after he had gone to Bathsheba:
Create in me a clean heart, O God;
And renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from Your presence, O Lord;
And take not Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation;
And uphold me with Your free spirit…
The tears began to appear on the eyes of Michael. He recalled about all his life and how hard it was. He recalled about the son of Julia from her first marriage that had died having not seen the light of the sun. Mike badly wanted to happen on the place of that baby that had got rotten in her mother’s womb.
‘Oh, Absalom, Absalom,’ cried Michael in his mind’s voice, weeping in full tears but able to do it without grimaces. ‘My son, my son. How I would want that the Lord wished that I was in your place. Absalom, my son, son…’
‘You know, Mike, it was a boy,’ said Julia. ‘They said that to such mothers they should give the spades to bury their own babies…’
‘God, please stop it,’ prayed Michael in tears, ‘Please Lord I cannot stand it any longer. Please, Lord.’ Mike prayed.
It was a drought this year in Europe, but there was a thunder out of the blue sky. The building shuddered and the music and any other sounds went out. The equipment did not work. Mike stood ashamed at his want that the Lord counted to be worthy more than the meeting of about a thousand people. He prayed that the Lord forgave him for his prayer. The deacon tried to continue the service by his mere human voice making a reference to Apostle Peter, who spoke to five thousand men, but they said to him that it was the fire in the building and the people had to be let out…
‘And, you should weep over that baby is if it was your own baby as David wept over Absalom.’ Inna conditioned.
Mike did not answer. It was consent…
Mike wept over the fate of that baby as if by the fact of his conception he rebelled against Michael and against the God. The God the same as Michael warned that they did not kill him the same as David had given the orders concerning the young man Absolom his son, who had rebelled against his own father. But they killed Absalom, that poor son of Julia and Jesus from Nazareth notwithstanding what their fathers, spiritual or biological, ordered concerning them.


Benedicta

‘Listen, my dear. I cannot do anything with you. You’ll stay a virgin. Nobody’ll marry you. And, you should know why. Simply, because, for example, when somebody curses a Jewess it turns out a bless, but when somebody blesses an Italian he curses him, and who curses a Jewess is cursed, but this who curses an Italian is blessed. I doubt my dear if somebody will want to marry you. I called you Blessed and hoped it will be a bless but it turned out a curse. Remember you are not a Jewess you’re an Italian. If a man ever loves you he should take this curse on himself and make you real blessed. But Italians are already accursed enough so it’s hard for you to hope for the kids. It should be a real valiant man that is not afraid of curses.’ Ended the Italian father…
Mike got collected for the travel into the Prague for a Christian congregation called conference. They said that he should pray for a wife. Mike already had one. It was Julia. But, he left her for some time to drive home his idea of polygamy. So, he prayed that the Lord should show him his other bride by the token that the one chosen by the Lord should show him respects and kindness. Mike hoped for his bride.
When he was in the Prague he worked much. And, on one of such an occasion he gave out the earphones for Russian and Italian at once. A girl in a coffee-with-cream gown said something whether in Italian or English Mike could not remember afterwards and shook hands with Mike. Next day Mike saw her already in a long shirt and feminine suit upper piece. Mike liked her easily suggestive temper. She suggested of honorable intentions. Then, Mike had to go and eat in the campus dining room because the congregation rented a campus of the city university and the nearby hotels. Mike looked at the blond Italian girl that sat below on a border while Mike went up the steps on the right hand. Then, Mike went out of the dining room. Here he met the beautiful Italian lady. Mike called her.
‘Don’t you think that today it was much like a fashions’ show when the girls went here and there by the ways between the chairs?’ asked Mike.
The Italian girl showed something around her ear to show she did not understand what Mike had said. Then appeared an interpreter.
The chaperones of the Italian beauty cried out, ‘Bianca, bianca.’ That meant a nickname translated as ‘the white one’.
Mike stood his back to the steps and began to talk to the group of Italian boys that appeared on the porch.
‘How old this blond girl is?’ asked Mike of the group of the boys.
The interpreter began to translate it to the elder young man.
‘Twenty two,’ said the elder boy.
‘She does not look as spoiled as twenty two,’ said Mike and the interpreter translated what the girl could hear. All the rest of the young people on the porch listened whether to Italian or English.
‘Yea, what is your occupation?’ asked one of the boys that stood in a row.
‘I’m a lawyer. They liquidated a state office and paid me a sum of compensation, but I have already negotiated with the director of an aluminum plant to work there as an interpreter.’ Said Mike.
‘Are you married?’ asked the elder one.
‘I have a girl, she was divorced. She was sick with a firstborn death curse disease. She left me. You know I was also sick and was in an asylum. There’s a lot of intelligent people, engineers, chess players. I just wanted to smoke before I die. I loved a lot of the girls. For example, I loved a girl and proposed her to be my mistress but she said that she would consent only when I would have a jeep, gift her a fur coat and have my own office. Then, she said that she loved another one that was her first man and that she will bear him kids, not to me. I proposed to be a godfather to them and she consented. I loved another girls. You know it’s a kind of insurance that always works.’ Mike said.
‘Did you read some books of Italian authors,’ asked the elder.
‘Yea, I read ‘Chippolino’ of Gianni Rodari,’ Mike answered.
‘I never read it,’ said the elder. ‘I read only ‘Gelsomino nel paese dei bugiardi.’
‘What does it mean,’ asked Mike.
‘It means Gelsomino (that is a name of the boy) in the country of liars.’ He said. ‘Was you born of divorced parents?’ asked the elder.
‘Yea, it was the second marriage for both my mom and dad.’ Mike said.
‘What would you do if you found out that the girl you married was not a virgin?’ The elder one asked.
‘First of all, I want not to lose my priesthood. I want to stay the priest of the Almighty Lord. So, I will not leave her but I will not let her stay my wife. She will be a concubine of mine. But, I will marry the first virgin I know like it was with Esther. Then, I’m not looking for a concubine, I want to find a girl to be my wife. And, I think that only a virgin may truly love a man. In the song of songs of Solomon, he compares a virgin with an orchard of untouched fruits. ’ Mike answered.
When the interpreter translated the elder boy laughed temperamentally and gave a blow on Mike’s left shoulder to resemble a friendly shake.
‘If not a virgin, she can be only a concubine?’ asked the Italian blond girl in her native language with much surprise and protest. ‘But whether the man should not forgive?’
‘There’s enough forgiveness in it. In the old days, they stoned down such women.’ Mike commented.
Then, Benedicta began to say in Italian that it would be enough for a girl just to repent and ask for forgiveness but she used the word ‘bastardo’ which means ‘enough to’.
‘I’m not a bastard. I was born in a legal marriage,’ said Mike and turned around to take down the steps after some moment of uneasy silence.
On the ground, he asked in French off a pair of French black boys whom he had met the day before if they had found correctly the way to the dining room as Mike had showed them. They said that yes.
Next day Mike watched the gates of the covered tennis court which was used as the place of the congregation. The wind began to blow to chase the late chicken into the chicken room. When Mike saw Benedicta she was surely over a night of weeping over her doubted reputation as Mike understood later.
‘Good night,’ said Mike. ‘Oh, I’m sorry good day.’
She looked at Mike as a chased hind, there was pain and offence in her eyes.
‘Lord, give her that which I have,’ prayed Mike when he sat on a chair in the back of the audience and thought about Benedicta, whom he loved as it seemed to him.
Then, it was a dance with her father when the orchestra played and all sang, ‘I will shout, I will shout, I will shout as David shouted. I will dance, I will dance, I will dance as David danced.’ I was an occasional dance because Mike was on his duty as a security man according to the badge he was given. But, the Italian dad was glad enough. The Italians laughed and threw the merry glances on Mike just before.
Mike turned to the right when the dance was over and the dad felt dizzy after a fast dance against clockwise and then clockwise. Benedicta said on the chair while the rest stood up. She prayed and wept and her right leg trembled because of too much of emotion. Then, they led her into a room. Mike asked of Natalia as was the name of the elder boy if he could speak with Benedicta. Natalia said without the use of the interpreter that not. He was huffed. Then, after Mike went further on his way out the other Italian boys met him and invited to get photographed. They said something in Italian.
‘I know what means ‘tutti’,’ Mike said. ‘I means ‘all’.’
Then Mike waited for the Italian father to get out. On the threshold he met the man.
‘Do you have a Holy Ghost baptism?’ asked the man.
‘Yes, I have the Holy Ghost baptism. It was very heavy mechanics.’ Mike said.
They embraced one another.
‘What country you are from?’ asked the man in the Italian manner.
‘Siberia, Shushenskoe,’ answered Mike.
Then, on his way home by the railroad, Mike thought if Benedicta was his kin enough to go into a far land to stay his wife like Rebecca loved Isaac and came into a strange land to be his wife. Afterwards, Mike studied Italian, asked the Lord to give him Benedicta a wife and claimed her of a man who pretended to be the pastor of Europe, Asia and Africa. He saw her in his dreams in his parents’ home.

How Michael called himself Jesus Christ

Why Mike called himself Jesus Christ? It was because he loved the girls that were sick and they asked through Inna as their speaker that he should call himself a Messiah and Jesus Christ and write to the English preacher about it. About his doctrine and justification why namely Mike would be Jesus Christ. Mike knew there had been a Jesus Christ but he had died a little less than two thousand years ago and his ghost had come to his grandma Mary and said that Mike was an antichrist and should be poisoned with the deadly stuff to hunt for foxes. Which his grandma Mary had done by word and by deed. So, Michael had his personal scores with that guy whom they killed on the cross but whose spirit they said lived in the hearts of the people.
What Mike had done bad to be poisoned? Nothing serious and personal. Simply, his parents wanted to divorce and it was necessary to somehow bring the balance into their life to count how much was left and what way it should be shared. Mike was superfluous. So, the grandma decided to poison, in a single sudden attack, Mike and his dad Jack to give a better way for her daughter. She said she was not afraid to pass the time in the jail and that they should have believed her that it was a mere mistake that she poured poison instead of salt on the dish of the fried fish.
What more Jesus Nazarene could be angry with Mike the last knew. It was because Mike stepped between the sickness, death and dishonor and those unfortunate girls that he had met in the hostel room. When he was an adult Mike did not remember for sure if he ate the pills which it was necessary for him to eat instead of the girls, those in the red military plastic box that was intended for the case of a bacteriological war, or he just decided to save the girls by his word, prayer, suffering and fasting. Anyhow Jesus Nazarene was angry that Mike decided to defend the girls whom he the first decided to kill, torture and make a public way because since their birth they were sick with the inborn diseases, venereal mostly. So, Mike kind of came against the Lord and it was the punishment of the Almighty all that poisoning and other problems in Mikes life. So, Mike decided to become the Son of the Almighty himself and in a tete-a-tete in the orchard when Mike also saw the ghost of Jesus Nazarene the last worshiped him as the real Christ and Son of God. And, all the ghosts of the dead men and the angels came and obeyed Michael. So, Mike knew he was the Christ.
Then, Mike decided to find a breach of logical sense in the doctrine of the Christianity that assumed Jesus Nazarene as the Lord. And, he knew where it was. It was the psalm 45th of the Bible in which it was clearly indicated what the Jews wanted of the real Christ. He should come and take as wives the mortal women among the daughters of Israel. It was sure that he should make so for the sake of granting them his heavenly immortality and also to their children. When Mike decided to be such a Christ he felt a strong pain in his whole soul indicating that the mortality would not give its positions to the eternal life just for free. It was necessary to fight for the immortality, which was clearly possible only in the fleshly body, because the dead were just dead and they rot and saw no more. So, the real Christ should be immortal in the flesh. All the rest was so void of any practical sense that did not reach over the borders of the reasonable doubt and the life proved that that knowledge was wrong.
But, how to achieve the real immortality of the flesh? Mike knew the way. In a scientific book for the adolescent minds which was however very serious, Mike found the answer though he was a kid as yet. It was necessary to stop the time and all the processes of the getting old in the body to change your life and the things around you, to influence the universe by the time and space leverage, to be immortal in the flesh. How Mike could stop the time in his body? There were so many wise words in that book but he knew the simple answer. It was necessary to stop, for example, the processes of the draft in his body. Mike tried to do it with the urination but it was too dangerous and it was necessary not to cross the border because then it was very hard to piss. So, how simple and dirty it does not sound but he tried to stop his instincts driving him to defecate. He acted as a bear. Any animal during the hibernation brings to the slowing down the processes of the draft in its body, however then it has the problems with its draft, in that it has to make away with the constipation. The same was with Michael. He tried not to piss as long as he could, the same with the draft. There was the certain pleasure in it. The pleasure of surmounting the barrier and himself. He also tried not to eat as long as he was able to, and not to drink. He felt hard but with his thinking it was Ok. He felt under a hardness of the poison but he was already accustomed to it. And, what were his results? His molar teeth began to grow much later. He changed his side teeth only in the age of thirteen. So, there was an easy count and show that he would live longer. And, why the people fasted when they wanted to change the things around them, for example, for the sick or for the money? This way they collected the energy to change the natural go of the things, to change the time and space continuum. To make the line or vector turn to the way they want it to do, they call it the will and the strength of the will. So, when Mike would be adult he would forbear of sexual outlet. Which he really did afterwards.
What Mike himself wanted? What was his stimulus? He wanted to have a harem of as many women as there was the souls in the universe. Only so the purity of the heavenly kingdom could be observed. He knew that genetically the things would turn in his genes and body vise versa. That the evolution that brought him to existence by the death of his many ancestors would change to devolution and he will give the birth to the souls of the dead men, because they said that otherwise he would have no kids, by cards witchcraft, astrology and so on. First, the boys will be also born along with the girls but then only he and his females would be left in the immortality. The other species would not be able to compete not by the power of the technical superiority but by the fact that their spirits that brought them to live would be captured by Michael and become his daughters. What were those spirits that made the souls to live? Anybody said that he had a star that protected him. That’s real. The spirit of the life is just the narrow piece of the rainbow that is captured by a man or other animal to give the birth to a piece of progeny to live and to move. Of course we say about a male. His duty is to suffer and to clean that dead spirit his body captured by the suffering to make a clean baby. But, almost always not all the spiritual garbage is made away. What is that garbage? The information of the former life. Thus, we say about hereditary sicknesses. But, why Michael himself was to live forever? It was because he was born with the same narrow piece of rainbow that is black, just where the rainbow stops. It was why they said to him that he would have no kids, die and leave no progeny and in the last that he was an antichrist. They said like he had no power of protection owing he had no angel guardian or a star to protect him. But, Michael understood it very early that on the contrary the whole dead star of the creation of the universe was his protection. He was to take back all what that star had given to the other stars. So, he was absolutely black in his heart and spirit. That is why the colorful souls around him did not like him. He was one against all around him. They wanted to live in as much sin as possible and to die, but he wanted to live and give the fleshly real immortality, because the angels and other dead spirits including Jesus Nazarene did not like the life as ghosts. They consented to be Mike’s children.
They say about reincarnation but now Mike’s idea was that the rainbow just stops and then he gives birth to mortal girls and boys, colorful. Nobody lives twice. Simply, a dead spirit penetrates into a body of a living man or animal and lives their giving him the necessary information and driving the living soul to commit even more evil. Mike had to make away with it. He knew that first he would give the birth only to the colorful children, but then to the immortal when he would become really immortal himself. They would be white, filled with the spirit of life, because any emotion has its analogue in the specter of the colors. Faith is red, knowledge is green, jealousy is black. Like a rainbow is made white by a prism, it is impossible without the black narrow piece of it.
Thus, Mike called himself the heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, Archangel Michael. He felt very bad when he did it because then all the curses against the Lord came upon him, but he stood as long as he could. That gave him the kids, sex and immortality through the suffering. He sent the letters of his religious views to a pair of the preachers. This way he interpreted the Bible the style he liked. And, all that through the conditions which they call craziness, through the madhouse, painful pills that make the soul really suffer and the coat-like schizophrenia as they called it. Was all that sacrilegious? Mike was living but they worshiped the dead. So, by the sense of the science he was right. Immortality was only the natural process in the universe and Michael was in the center of that process. That’s why he called himself Jesus Christ and nobody opposed, rejected or proved it was wrong.


Prosaic poem

Once, Mike felt like writing some poetry. He wanted to write about all his life in verses. But, it turned out that he wrote only about his first real love toward Tina. But, it was not a complete verse, rather a prosaic poem. It went as follows:
A young man’s heart is longing for the love of virgin,
But what he gets is body of a harlot,
Her beauty compensates for lack of honor.
Which thing a young man’s heart is looking for?
The pure source of love he seeks to quench the thirst of soul.
Alike to puppy he is tasting bits of food he finds on his way,
And some of them are not for belly to make it fed,
But just to vomit out because the poison is name of some of them,
And if he cannot vomit the venom he’s sick or even dies.
He does not know yet what’s fit for food,
And his mistakes are way to knowledge.
A harlot full of charm is like a coral fish that is in colors and swift, and slender, even seems a gracious thing,
But she is not to eat, in that the poison is in her body.
The heart and reason are striving for the way to pure source of pleasure, defiled not by the presence of another man. But, if the fortune is not on your side, and purse is empty, or just enough to feed you through,
All your attempts are doomed to ruin.
The heart of youth is longing for the love of maiden,
His eyes are full of hope and of self-esteem.
But real beauty costs very much.
And, other man that is more fortunate takes her for a bedmate.
And they play with one another in the mirth and pleasure day and night.
The lot that’s left to you is that to weep and mourn your ruined love.
The soul full of vengeance and jealousy devices plans of triumph and revenge,
But deep in heart you know that’s all over,
And what you wait for is her body, defiled by presence of another man.
Why had he better chance with her? He’s rich. But you are poor.
With humble heart and tears in your eyes you look at her,
But have not courage to approach and reveal the deepest of your heart.
But, eyes of man, whose heart is pierced with pain of love and bitterness of not respected want of child, who he’s indeed, can they hide the truth?
You bet that not.
What is your lot? To work and wait till one of them is disappointed of their hasty bargain.
You work to grow strong and rich, insult is driving you.
But, now what can you offer her? The honest heart?
She’d laugh at such an offer.
She’s ready for amusement the money could afford, and easiness of life.
She does not want to be the watchman of a man that toils for the future profits of his own labor.
She wants to dance and sing, and otherwise to yield herself to pleasure.
You look at lovers kissing in a car that’s good to sight, the pledge of their future happy fare.
Your eyes are full of tears, you weep.
She knows that she may be cheated, but she’s ready for it,
Her beauty seems to her to be the sure thing against an evil day.
Your heart is full of vain designs of vengeance,
But anyway she knows you are hers, kept for a rainy day, a second choice.
You’re like to a fish that has two ways: to end in basket or to leave its guts on hook and die.
She waits for you to grow richer, and maybe wants to render herself to your hands.
Her first man is not good enough to make her life a pleasure it now seems to her,
In that he wasted life spring time on mistress of his heart and no wealthy harvest is waiting for him now.

The lady in a sailor’s vest

Once upon a time, Mike happened to be in an ethnic music festival that was held each year in Shushenskoe. There was nothing impressive that day. But, almost, at the time to leave the place, Mike caught the sight of a beautiful young lady in a sailor’s vest using it as a gown. More probably, it was a special gown bought in a shop and not borrowed from a sailor. Suddenly, Mike felt a deep feeling of compassion and pity on this lady that gave out a SOS signal fearing an imminent disaster of being nobody’s property and the ownership of all. She was a bit slouchy and smoked a cigarette. Mike prayed to the Lord that the Almighty give him her as a wife. With his left hand, Mike held Julia that was maybe worse when Mike had met her. But, Mike’s heart needed to help more desolate ladies. He needed to be a husband of many such ladies to feel calm deep in his soul. After Mike prayed, he felt such a strong calm down of the love and the presence of the Lord that he was not able to leave the place right away and also the young but suffering beauty in the charge of the destiny. Mike stood for some time, but anyhow he had to leave. But, on his way home when he was already in the square he demanded Julia to let him go back. But, Julia did not consent to let him go alone and followed him. Mike returned and the Lord was still present. Even the singers sang in half a voice. All the stadium was filled with that anoint of calmness, happiness and assurance of the future. Mike sat on the bench for some time and had to leave again because it was deep in the night and the darkness of the dusk covered the place all over. Mike was happy.

Victoria

It was a jubilee of the local dance and song club Julia visited. Many other folklore groups arrived to the fete from the nearby cities. When Mike got into the audience hall he met a swarthy girl that was the part of some dance or song band. She temperamentally took the steps to take Mike over.
‘How hot blooded you are,’ said Mike in due admiration.
‘Take me into a bed and you’ll know better how hot I am,’ retorted the young girl.
‘So, you are gypsy and that’s a gypsy baron,’ said Mike referring to an old man in a broad hat that strolled at the free place near the scene.
‘Yea, sure,’ liked it the girl and laughed.
After this Mike tried to sit closer to the young gypsy girl. Julia got from behind the scenes and put her brown skin vest between Mike and the young gypsy girl.
Mike liked her much. He joked and talked to her. Then, after their song group got near the scene of the cinema theater Mike could see her gypsy father whom he identified by the simple fact that the girl was the only girl among the old women in Russian national dresses and the man looked after her. Then, it was sure that it was her dad. After the event was over, Mike went outdoors and saw off the gypsy beauty whose mother turned to be a Jewess as they said.
Mike met her once in the Abakan University main building. He gave her a religious brochure on which there was Mike’s home address for the case if somebody wanted to send the brochure back. Vicky as was the name of the young woman, who claimed to be married and have a baby, gave Mike a business card in return with her home and job phone numbers.
Last time Mike saw her was when Mike made a visit to the university to look for Inga. Then, Victoria went from behind and passed by. Mike approached her and slapped on the buttocks as his temper made him do. Vicky turned pale.
‘Hello, Vicky. Look at my stature. I’m like a cornet. Would you like to have such one? I could give you the phone number of a man that does put right the back.’ Said Mike as though he was inebriated with some strong drug.
‘No,’ said Vicky and hurried to hide in the throng.

A girl of a beauty Eve should have

It was a February day. Mike was in the bar with Julia and her former classmates. It was the day of graduates in the their school which Mike also had studied in. They chose a log cabin to have the party in. Then, Mike had to go at the bar to buy something and order the hot dishes. It was the hunters’ bar, which Mike had often visited when he worked as an interpreter with foreign trophy hunters. Mike looked around for something for his interest to alight upon. His eyes caught the sight of a beautiful young girl. Mike calmly withstood her look. He felt he was stronger. Surely this calm look that the girl was not accustomed to shook the balance on the table she sat at. It was a look of power on Mike’s part.
At the table where the girl sat there were seven boys that were happy to pass their time in the presence of this beautiful young woman. One of them was her lover. She surely felt priced not high enough because allowed so much boys to cater to her. But, Mike’s calm and sure look caught her off balance.
Mike returned to his log cabin where there stood a table which Julia’s former classmates sat at. They ate and drank after their order was serviced.
Then, Mike and Julia went to dance. The beautiful girl also went to dance leaving the boys at the table. Mike left Julia and the girl to clear out the relations alone dancing before the bar.
Next time Mike went up to the bar the girl’s boyfriend fed her with the grapes and was also fed with the same by the girl. Surely, it was prestigious consumption.
Several times, the girl went to visit girls’ room the way that passed by the log cabin where Mike sat in with Julia and her classmates. She made it more often than necessary. Surely, it was to feel Mike better and to look at him.
Then, they left the bar and Mike saw off Julia to her flat and went home. He lay on broad bed and pondered on the impression that this lady had left upon him. She was so beautiful that maybe only Eve could rival her. Now, Mike felt the full impact of her beauty on his heart. Her charms began to work on Mike’s soul and he passed about three or four hour under this spell. Then, he fell asleep and his heart forgot this young woman that maybe could bring back the lost happiness of Eden.

Helen

Mike stood near a perambulator where there sat a small girl.
‘Mike, ask her if she wants to be your wife. Whether you are not able to do it with your mind’s voice. They say you speak even with animals. Go ahead, ask her…’ invited the mom of the small girl in the perambulator.
‘Do you want to be my wife?’ asked Mike in silence with his mind’s voice.
‘Maybe,’ answered the small girl with her mental voice.
‘But for sure? Are you going to be my wife?’ Mike insisted.
She did not reply…
Mike got prepared for the travel into the summer camp, which was organized by the religious group he had visited some time ago; which however allowed him to go there. As always it is with moms, his mom called a family from another Siberian city if they would take Mike along with them on there way to the summer camp that should be held near Pskov. But, the custom of the religious group Mike belonged to was not to allow young sisters and brothers as they called those who visited the church to pass much time together. So, Mike’s mom decided to come there also. And, Mike missed his chance to travel by the railroad with Helen whom he had seen on his visit to Novokuznetsk where she lived and had been impressed by her young beauty. When Mike arrived to the summer camp he had his mom to evaluate his taste for feminine charms. All the same, Mike was able to pass time with the young people that were collected in the summer camp. They played soccer, volleyball and just talked about their impressions of the summer camp and joked much as it is usual with young people.
Helen already knew all about Mike’s polygamy views on the matrimony. Mike had many arguments from the Bible and did not feel his idea to be barefooted.
On their way from the railway station to the summer camp Mike found Helen and her girlfriend Grace and spoke with them capable to hold a balance of jokes plus humor and serious matters.
‘So, Mike, you want to have a harem?’ asked Helen.
‘Yes, that’s what I want,’ said Mike.
‘But how you will choose the other wives?’ she demanded.
‘My wife should find the second wife among her girlfriends,’ said Mike seriously.
‘So, we consent,’ said Helen as a joke with a blend of the truth.
Mike smiled moderately and nodded.
When in the summer camp Mike wooed Helen as it was allowed by the guidelines of the church rules. It was a check of forces on both parts. Once Helen even threw on the ground her jacket and asked Mike to take it up.
‘Never do what the woman demands you if it’s not in your interests,’ was Mike’s argument why he did not take up the jacket.
So, jacket was left on the ground after Helen threw it aside.
Helen was a girl that visited the church two times a week including Sundays. However, all that with the thrown jacket was to find out who was who. It had a sure sexual implication. Of course, nobody seduced anybody in the ugly sense of the world’s ways. They both belonged to the church. But, they also lived in the world and many girls deserted from the church just to live by the ways of the sinners. So, all it was to show whether Mike was a master and Helen a maid-servant and even a concubine in the perspective in the good traditions of the patriarch family or Mike consented to call Helen a mistress and be her slave in return. Because a mistress is this who possesses a man by her sexual power. It was a struggle of the man and woman for the power. And, Mike could not allow Helen to take this power because he might not allow her to get for herself even a chance to misuse it. So, to keep firmer to the conquered ground Mike said that his ways with the girls were to buy them of their parents with fines. But, the girls pretended to complain to Helen’s mom, who also took care of Grace as an orphan.
‘Don’t listen to Mike. He’s joking.’ Helen’s mom said.
All the same Helen wanted to call the suit and speculate on the point that she gave herself for free. She was young and beautiful. She wanted to be a partner maybe. But, all this could only be implied because she tried not to show her feelings. Only once she called Mike a nutcase after some effort on her part to damage the balance Mike had established had collapsed. Then, after a prayer line and much presence of the Holy Spirit she wept and asked Mike to forgive her meeting him on his way into the hall out of the reception room of the building where the meetings were held.
Mike passed so much time in the presence of Helen, Grace and Jane the other orphan that the pastor from Brussels warned him not to hang around young sisters. He was a strong supporter of monogamy and rejected Mike’s patriarch ideas.
They smiled to each other. Helen made grimaces being only fifteen years old. All in all, they loved one another. Though Mike pushed down, he was gentle and eased when it was necessary.
After all they had to come together to Moscow by railways. Helen played and grabbed Mike by left ear in the presence of a family that occupied the same compartment with Mike.
‘Never listen what the Christian girls say about themselves, better look what they do in your regard,’ commented Mike the easy handling Helen had on him.
Only once there was a tension in all Mike’s professing of polygamy. It was on the way from Moscow to the summer camp. Mike met Helen and Grace in the compartment occupied by the pastor from Brussels. At the young sisters’ protests against polygamy Mike called them feminists but had to ask pardon at the insistence of the old priest.

Weddings

It was a wedding party of a Christian young man and a Christian girl, Denis and Mary. Denis was a translator for the foreign preachers. He also worked as a carpenter abroad making good money. He lived in Latvia. He was a Russian. Mary was a girl from Siberia, from Novokuznetsk. Though there was a struggle for Denis among the girls in the church, she was most successful of all. The money for the wedding party for more than hundred persons, all the Christians visiting a summer camp, had been earned by Denis.
Mary was happy and played a coquette with all the people around her. Mike took it a bit personal. It seemed to be an inequitable thing that Mike lived with Julia who was not a virgin and Denis married such a pure and untouched creature as Mary. Mike could not eat what there was on the table. He also was jobless and could not invest in the new family according to the rites of the Russian weddings. He was long-faced and it was counted funny by many. He did not notice Mary a day before and almost never recalled her but now it seemed to him that he was losing something important. Suddenly, Mary became important for him. Mike was real sad and could not get merry as the rest of the guests. The mother of Pauline, the other girl that had fought for Denis, though unsuccessfully, and was pleased by Mike, could not help laughing looking at Mike. She knew about his polygamy ideas. Mike noticed it and felt bitterness and shame. By an instinct, Mary also wept a few seconds hiding herself in the bosom of her mother. Was it possible that it also seemed to her that she was irreversibly losing something as it was with Mike?
‘Why you look this way at Mary?!’ asked Helen, her sister, the beautiful young girl, who had been courted by Mike all his presence in the summer camp.
Mike could not answer anything about it. He did not know what there was in his heart. What happened also caught him unawares. He did not wait for anything like that. Mary was going not to be free for the rest of her life, and it seemed that only Mike felt he was losing her.


Christine

Christine. That is a girl that lives in USA. She’s a singer. She sings the blues. She has a kind of marriage with her guitarist.
As it always happened in Mike’s life in the summer time, they made him work much. They organized a festival of ethnic music. A kind of folklore one and they invited much people from abroad, jury members and a pair of blues singers, they said like they lived as a matrimonial couple. Like they had the papers and all the stuff. But, it looked much more like a professional union. Christine smoked much. She was a bit slouchy.
That time Mike preached the gospel in a pretty kind of a way like all the problems in the universe were because it all started with two men and a woman in sentimental kind of a way, a loving triangle. Mike’s idea of the loving triangle or any other geometrical figure was a man and two or more women. Mike did not court Christine. But, surely he was interested in her as a girl.
Once, in a go of a dialogue, Christine asked if Mike was a virgin. Mike said that unfortunately not. Mike knew why he said unfortunately not. Because to give the life it is necessary to suffer. And, really it is almost impossible to control the process of giving the birth to the kids. Officially, Mike had no kids. But, why he suffered so much? They said like he was crazy, but why? Even if Mike ever was mad there was a sole plausible answer on that question.
Christine, she was the girl of Mike’s dreams since his childhood. He had known there had been such a girl that had lived in the USA and that he had loved her. In his dreams, he had talked with her. And, he had thought of his future. His future had been his fantasy, and Mike could create it but with certain degree of the observing of the rules. Mike loved Christine but she was a married woman. But why her husband did not interfere when Mike talked with her about divorce and marriage in a kind of a sermon? The people around us are hypocrites, but Mike was not a hypocrite, he talked what he felt and thought, he had nothing to dissemble. He was frank. They call it being crazy.
Christine gave to Mike her email address but it turned out to be invalid. So, Mike had no clues how to find her, all was left to the destiny, except the dreams. Once, he asked her coordinates off a girl from the tourist firm that served the festival but the girl said like it was not their rule to give out the personal data of the participants, especially foreign ones. Occasion, it was only left, and chance and dreams. Once, the dreams already helped them to meet. Surely, they could make them meet again, the go of the stars can be changed.
All in all, Mike had little profit in all that festival affair. When he worked the second time they did not pay him more than two hundred rubles. A little less than seven US dollars. They say like if one does not have the luck in the cards play or any other business connected with the money, he will have the luck in the love. But, the way of the love is to suffer. Mike was paid very lowly, but he was noble in his heart. Maybe, the girl in the tourist firm whose name was Natalie simply kind of let her eyes turn green? She said that that money was not paid from her own pocket, she said that her boss would not give even that. And, that for about a week of the hard work, during two festivals. There was surely nothing left than to be fortunate in love.

Dance tournament

It was the summer exams with Julia’s correspondence study in the university. In the free time, she and Mike rambled in the city in the search of some entertainment. In a shop, they saw an advertisement of the Latino dances tournament among the kids on the upper floor of the building. Julia was a dancer herself, though of the folklore style. Still, Latino dances were her dream. So, she got interested in the event.
They got upstairs and entered into the hall. The boys and girls danced on the floor with the deftness of the professionals, as it seemed to those who were not the experts in the Latino dances techniques. Mike’s eyes caught the sight of a beautiful girl who sat on the jury bench. The girl had the developed body of a dancer and the regular face features. Mike looked with interest at her and she noticed it and responded with her own interest in the sure glances of Mike. Julia noticed it and said she lost the interest in the event. Was it a latent flirt? They went away.
They were shopping for some time, then, got out. The girl from the dance tournament just rode in an expensive car off the square before the shop. She was a princess, to boot. Was there any chance for them to meet for a continuation?


Short haircut peroxide blond

When Mike was a little boy they asked him in half a joke if he would be able to take as a wife the daughter of the head of the local communist party district committee. The man did not have any daughter as yet, but still they challenged Mike. And, Mike said as yes. Then, they said that the man was transferred to Moscow for a better position in the party hierarchy. There he begot a daughter but lost much health on hard drinking because of the communist party collapse. He returned and as any other out of business statesman began to get occupied with the matters of education. He lived just below Julia’s flat. And, Mike was able to see his beautiful daughter with short peroxide blond haircut. She had dark eyes and slender body. An accurate nose completed the impression of a young beauty. The girl often threw interested glances on Mike, but Mike was overmuch exposed to cover Julia mistakes of the past. He studied more and could not allow a second liaison financially. He could only to leave Julia to take this young girl. But, it seemed not to be honest for Mike. But, once Julia was in Krasnoyarsk and Mike felt free for a new acquaintance. He found the short hair blond in the square with a girl friend. It was the day of the town. There were many people on the square and a music band played on the scene. Mike approached the girls and tried to have a talk with them. But, as it was always with the girls of such a temper, they found urgent affairs in the distant place to come off. But, Mike used their way to that place to talk about some easy things. The girl was surely glad because of such an attention. Her girlfriend was envious, at the contrary. After all, they struck a summer coffee shop. And, the girlfriend of Mike’s neighbor applied to a drunken man about Mike’s age.
‘The girls don’t like your company,’ said the man in a drunken voice.
‘You think I should leave?’ asked Mike.
‘Yea, I think so,’ said the drunken man more calmly.
‘Ok, if you think so I should leave,’ said Mike not to boost the price of the girl with a potential blood spill.
Then, the girl left for Krasnoyarsk to study in the university which subsidiary in Shushenskoe her dad managed. Mike saw her in the winter on the butter day, a Russian fete when they cook the pancakes and eat them with butter after a fast to see off the winter. Julia had to dance also on a scene that was made in the territory of the museum just at the car entrance and near the office building. Her eyes glistened as two black diamonds. Then, Mike saw her in the summer after the education year was over. It was the beginning of the summer vacation. It was when Mike took up his steps along the staircase. They changed the wooden window cases for plastic ones and the girl was clothed as a construction worker outfit. She surely was tired of life as a baby doll that was played with too much. She complained to her mom that she was hungry, as it is usual with students who recall that they are still babies when they get home after an exams session. She had a yearlong peroxide blond hair and they were bereft of life as if they were made artificially. Then, Mike saw her in the company of her girlfriend and a pair of boys. She tried to get her hand off the boy’s hand but could not. Just before it she had advertised that company before Mike when he had just been about to get into entrance that had led to Julia’s flat. But, that day Mike saw her from Julia’s flat window. Last time Mike saw her when he went with his step cousin from a music shop where the boy had bought a cassette of a Russian singer.
‘It’s tawny to crack off such ones,’ he said in reference to the peroxide blond with a short haircut who was a dainty surely clothed in a white dress.
The girl took her mobile phone to show she was modern and expensive.
‘To crack off such ones you could damage your teeth,’ said Mike as an expert.

I am sorry but the order is formed in

It was the time when Mike’s grand-granddad Nick already rooted down in Siberia. He tilled up a piece of virgin land and sowed the buckwheat. Then, he went into a shop that was held by an Armenian and ordered a winnowing-machine to be sold in the end of the summer just in time to collect the harvest and process it for the selling in the market. He gave a full advance of money for the winnowing-machine. But, to the end of the summer it was clear that the harvest of the buckwheat was bad and the winnowing-machine would be of no avail. Nick went into the shop and asked his money back.
‘I am sorry but the order is formed in,’ said the kind Armenian clerk in a clean white shirt.
Though Nick justified his investment next year when the harvest of the buckwheat was good he loved to use this expression ‘I’m sorry the order is formed in’. He used it when he meant that the circumstances developed in a way to make it impossible for a way back.

Train acquaintances

Mike was on his way home from the Christian family camp. He was deep in his ideas of masculine polygamy as it was always with him in his life. Michael believed that maybe in the train he would meet some girls that would become his concubines. It hardly can be said whether it was crazy or some reasonable grounds were present in all it. Anyhow such phenomenon as Mormon society existed and Mike also was sure that the fact that he was a Christian, did not drink, worked much in the studying of languages and law would in the end attract the female society. In the first place, repented harlots, and, naturally, the virgins that also did not want to lose their honor just for the sake of some ordinary boy from the world. So, Mike’s strategy had some sense. And, he believed in the monetary blessing of the Lord.
Mike and his mom entered the wagon and found their compartment. They got into some fuss about placing properly their cases and bags. At that moment, some people entered the compartment. They tried to find out on something being mistaken and only Mike’s patience did helped the matter to get settled down. Finally, only an old woman and a young girl stayed on the bunks to travel back into Siberia. The girl looked on Mike in such a way as to show that she was impressed much. Maybe, she had gone to a fortuneteller and the last told her that she would meet her fate. And, she met Michael. The girl looked like it was so. She was intimidated and very touched by something. Surely, there was some prehistory in all this. With Mike it was that he had prayed to the Lord that maybe He would help him find some concubines for his harem. Perhaps, the girl did the same or just somebody told her her fortune by the cards or some other stuff. So, both Mike and the girl were impressed of one another and anticipated much.
It was the vogue of the season to carry the jeans with a low waist for the navel to be seen and the girl also had the black tango pants on. Which made her sexy and attractive. Her looks were according to Mike’s taste. Mike got really turned on being without a woman for almost three weeks. His civil wife Julia was on the seashore alone.
From the talk between the girl and her grandma Mike knew that the girl’s name was Alice and she had a boyfriend in Yaroslavl, the place where they came from. A matter of a month was enough for her to acquire a bedmate as the age and the style of Alice implied.
There was all common talk about the life and the problems and finally Mike decided that he was about to have a talk with Alice. Alice always read a dame novel and when she went to the rest room Mike followed her. He waited for her and she came out.
‘Alice, let’s have a talk.’ Mike proposed.
‘Ok, what’s the matter?’ asked Alice.
‘I want to propose you to be my girl.’ Mike announced.
‘But, you already have a girl.’ Alice opposed.
‘Yea, but, I will be able to provide for a living for two girls. I’m a lawyer and know the foreign languages. We could meet in Krasnoyarsk where I will go to find a work.’ Mike tried to persuade.
‘But, I already have a boyfriend in Krasnoyarsk.’ Alice informed.
Mike wanted so much to take her into his arms and kiss and hug and maybe have what is natural between a man and a woman, but Alice held out. Mike got some steam off and his engine turned a bit cooler.
‘Ok, but I believe in the fate. I prayed to the Lord that I would meet some girl as a second wife and I believe we will not part forever,’ said Mike. ‘Let’s go to the compartment.’
Mike could not understand why his idea of having two wives had such a social resonance while, for example, Alice could meet with two young men at once, the one in Yaroslavl, the other in Krasnoyarsk.
Patriarch family is what the Bible teaches. Modern fornication is what the life takes a way to be.
Then, Alice got off the train along with her grandma on one of the stations but a young girl changed her in the wagon. Somehow, it turned out that the mom was already in another compartment where a soldier consented to yield her his first level bunk. And, Mike also took a bunk in the same compartment. The girl had to have her sleep on the bunk above that of Mike. And, before the sleep they had to sit on the first level bunk, Mike and her. She was in pink trousers. Maybe she was pink herself.
‘Pink is the color you love best?’ asked Mike.
‘Yea,’ said the girl.
‘What music band do you like best?’ Mike continued his interrogation.’
‘‘No doubt’,’ she said.
It seemed like the girl was really not occasionally in that place. Mike in his turn was about to go all nuts because of the sex abstinence in the presence of so much female beauties. There was a talk on where the girl studied and the other small things like that. Then, Mike helped to spread the cover over the girl’s body when she was about to get asleep. The girl thanked him.
At that moment, Mike turned crazy completely. It seemed to him that the girls he had met belonged to a lesbian clan, which accepted the girls with serious hereditary diseases. Mike’s part was to be a father after he will recover of his illness. First, he talked by a telepathy liaison with the girl on the bunk above, then with Alice. After that it was a kind of telepathy meeting when he could talk to anybody else. He talked with Hollywood actresses and the star female singer in English. And, also with the women he loved, including his wife that was on the Black Sea. He clearly discerned the intonation and the voices of the people he knew by real speech or by music records. It was like they all loved him and wanted to bear the kids of him and wished him good health. It was a kind of a harem Mike had always dreamed of.

Chess

‘And, you should play chess with the souls of the dead and living chess players that are in the computer,’ Inna said. ‘You should study chess and win the games against the souls of the grandmasters. You should win twelve games against that Indian young man that is an infant prodigy. What’s his name, Tina?’
‘Anand,’ Tina said.
‘Yea, you should win twelve games with the soul of Anand being held in the computer,’ Inna insisted.
‘How a soul of a chess player may live in a computer. You say nonsense.’ Mike objected.
‘You understand too much. Nonsense. They’ll put into the program of the computer the games of Anand and the computer will play almost the same as Anand himself. And, you should win seventy seven games against the grandmasters: Kasparov, Karpov, Fisher, Botvinnik. You understand?’ Inna asked.
‘Seventy eight,’ Mike said…
When he grew up he studied the theory of chess game and played chess with the computer. It was hard. It played almost as a living grandmaster and did not forgive the mistakes. Several games Mike won even without taking back his moves. When he was sick he played under the drugs and drank strong coffee to feel good. He even invented a good move for the black in the beginning of the Sicilian defense.

Sympathy

It was the dark spring evening. Mike came to the old Mary to take the Indian onion and a recipe of how to make the natural medicine from its leaves.
‘How, you feel now?’ asked the old woman that was a neighbor.
‘I’m fine, I feel better now and do not work so much,’ Mike answered.
‘Poor boy, such a pity it happened to you,’ she pronounced with an honest sympathy and solidarity.
Mike did not wait for it. It seemed that all the people around were just glad it all happened to him and wished him evil. He recalled how a judge, an acquaintance of Mike’s parents, had said a few years ago when Mike had just became sick, that he would not be able to work as a judge, the natural end of the career of any successful lawyer. She had done it as though she had not understood that Mike overstrained himself by the study and abstinence from sex, that it could be explained by some sublime sacrifice. But that old woman had pity on him. That compassion of the old neighbor made Mike feel better.


Betrayal

Mike insisted that Julia came with him into the summer camp but Julia invited him to the seashore. But, Mike felt that he had to serve the Lord and testify about his gift of the Holy Ghost by which he heard the voice of the Lord. So, they parted. Julia went into the beaches of the Black Sea and Mike to a summer camp near Pskov. So, Mike had to forbear of sex again and this abstinence led him into the state when his feelings got more deep and acute. He was able to feel unreality as reality, and it was easy for him to believe in what it would have been hard for him to believe in a state of the due timely satisfaction. Anyhow, Mike trusted Julia because she already was on the sea with her mom and kept faith to him. But, that time she had taken care of a group of children from her town and had less time for a flirt and betrayal.
All the time before Mike went to the summer camp and after it, he phoned to Julia on her mobile phone and talked about what she felt and what he felt. But there came a day that he should tell to Julia that his job on the aluminum plant was impossible because the foreign investors left the idea to manage the construction of the second line of the plant. It was hard but Mike had the hope for the future. He had many ideas how to live on: from playing chess on money to hiring as a lawyer to a firm, all it in the regional capital Krasnoyarsk.
Mike’s mind needed a compensation for the lost of his comfort that warmed him for many months. So, his conscience began to seek for another reality to help his soul to cope with the new bout of the struggle for the happiness. And, Mike got an idea that was to change his past, present and future. Suddenly, he realized that there could not be such an iniquity as it was in his life. He checked all his memory and was now sure that the girls simply cheated him that they were not virgins. Mike was of a strong mind that all of them were lesbians and virgins and that all their marriages were false after ‘American pie’ style. It made a balance in Mike’s soul and he felt calm. But, he needed to share his happiness with Julia. He phoned her. Julia took the mobile phone.
‘Julia, hi. How are you there?’ Greeted Mike.
‘I’m fine. How are you?’ answered Julia.
‘I’m Ok but I have to tell you a thing. They said that the foreigners won’t build the second line and they don’t need my services. So, we’ll have to go to Krasnoyarsk. And, Julia! I know the truth now.’ Mike said.
‘What truth?’ demanded Julia.
‘That you are all lesbians. Tina, Inga, Jane and you. And all you are virgins. How I did not understand that you was a virgin when it was the first time with you and me?’ Mike announced.
‘Who said it to you,’ said Julia in half a voice as though Mike disclosed the main secret of her life.
‘The Lord disclosed it to me.’ Said Mike.
‘Mike, I’ll call you later. I’m cooking the food down here. I’ll call later.’ Said Julia and Mike hang the receiver.
But it turned out quite opposite. Julia came home and when Mike got into her house she said that she betrayed Mike. First Mike believed it and said that he had to do nothing but forgive her. But, then he did not believe it. But, at a certain moment the phone rang and it was like Julia talked with her lover and they discussed what prospects they had here and there. Mike pitied Julia deep in his soul. Very often he had wanted to leave her. But now he pitied her when she said that she wanted to come to live in a settlement where her kinsmen lived in and where she had found her new passion. It was over there near the Black Sea. But Mike knew it was because she wanted to flee from her dishonored past and ignoble sickness fame. So, Mike could not let her go. He forced her to have sex with him and withstood her resistance. He was gentle and meek but struggled her into a sexual intercourse. She wept, but before it she had said that Mike was just a habit though a strong one. She had been getting the dirt off in a shower when Mike had tried to help her as he always had done in their best days. Then, Mike spilled all his sexual energy on his unfaithful woman and subdued her.
‘Say you are my maidservant,’ ordered Mike during a time of sexual act.
‘Yes, I’m your maid-servant.’ Replied the woman.
‘And, a concubine,’ insisted Mike.
‘Yes,’ answered Julia not able to cope with her deep feelings.
Then, Mike got sick and said to Julia to an effect that she could get free and was let to go, but the woman wept and asked to forgive her. This way her treason ended.
Second time when Julia betrayed Mike she was not in any travel but made it at home. Mike was sick because he worked too much and as always they pushed him down in Julia’s family when he was weaker. Julia phoned him and announced that she had a new boyfriend. Mike asked if she liked him. She liked. Mike said that he had to do nothing but to leave her.
Julia demonstrated her new acquisition to all. It was third world ethnical music festival and the guy also visited her dance club. She strolled hand to hand with her new boy under the eyes of the whole stadium. The boy was really proud of his new status being four years younger than Julia. Then, she went around Mike’s and hers common acquaintances and pronounced much on all this, that she already pitied her decision and that was not much in common with her new boyfriend, like dances were all that united them. So, when Mike was out from the asylum where he got again because he sublimated all his sexual energy and wasted none, he knew what she had said. He went to her home and when she opened the door he saw the boots of her new boyfriend.
‘Hello, Julia. I thought you was alone,’ said Mike.
‘No, I’m not,’ answered the woman.
‘They said like you pitied your decision and much like. So, I thought you was alone, but if you live as a wife and a husband I should go,’ said Mike and was about to come down the steps.
‘Wait, Mike, do not go right away,’ said Julia and dropped several nervous tears.
‘But, I cannot communicate with you while you live with him,’ said Mike.
‘Why not?’ asked Julia to look a coquette in the sense that the world invests in it but meant an insult.
As always Mike let the insult come off his ears.
‘I have to go,’ said he.
‘Please, Mike. Wait. Let me stay with you a little more. You the best of all, Mike. You are the very best.’ She said and the nervous tears appeared on her face again.
‘But even if I’m better it cancels out by the fact that I’m sick. It makes it equal.’ Said Mike.
‘What you have done?’ asked Julia.
‘I was in the asylum for a month,’ Mike said.
‘But, you look Ok,’ noticed Julia.
‘I did not say much nonsense this time except that you all were virgins and lesbians,’ Mike told and got no comments.
Julia’s hair lost its strength and she made artificial fingernails.
‘So, what you are occupied with?’ Mike demanded.
‘We try to clear out our relations all the time,’ said Julia.
‘Thus, if you will not clear ‘em out return to me,’ Mike proposed.
Julia did not say anything.
‘Be happy,’ said Mike and left his former property.

Sister Jane

Sister Jane was a special Jane, not that Jane who had not accepted to be Mike’s wife then in his childhood because he had wanted to be a prophet of the God and preferred the son of an influent man, the future engineer. Sister Jane was the other Jane.
Mike met her first in Prague. She was a blond and what they call pretty, though leaving not very much of impression on Mike himself. However, when afterwards Mike looked at her photo, or better to say a common background photo on which she was the main object, then he felt her warm presence. Of that warmth that makes the soul feel comfortable.
The second time Mike met her was in the family camp in Velikie Luki, near Pskov. Mike looked for a wife, though already had Julia for his civil wife, but the sense of equitability drove him to find a second wife and, to boot, a virgin to make up a kind of harem. Why so? Mike worked hard all his youth, he was twenty-five at the time and he first knew a woman (it was Julia) only in the age of twenty-three. No girl gave him a credit when he was younger. Now, it seemed to Mike that his study of the foreign languages and law made his buying capacity more effective and he could allow now more than one wife. If there is feminism, Mike’s attitude should be called masculism or anti-feminism, because all the underlining of feminism is a challenge of the reasonable way of the things between the sexes. It is when a woman is sold once and for a lifetime, a challenge to allow a woman to be sold on the short-term conditions to anybody she likes. That’s what all the feminism is about in its deep essence, no matter of all that high lingo of a feigned struggle for the political and economical power in the society. Any feminism subverts the family values. You doubt? Ask a feminist what she will vote the next election for and she will say that for a free right to make abortions. Does a family need abortion? If a woman is lazy and perverted, then yes. If you now say that the stronghold of feminism, which is USA, cannot make along without abortion, compare the territory of that superpower and that of Israel; taking into account that the climate is the same or even better one and the ratio of the land resources, you will clearly see that USA can allow itself to live without abortion and not to irritate the Lord God. But, that is not an essay on feminism, it is a short story. That question arose only to show what the feminism is like. The main principle of feminism is the equality of fornicating opportunity. Nothing more is in it. So, Mike was a victim of feminism. Why? Because he wanted a family and as the common idea he had heard from the unhappy women was, the basis of a good family was deemed to be a husband that earned much money. Thus, Mike worked and studied much to become such a husband. But, his counteragents did not lose their time in vain. The girls are meant here. They visited the dance clubs, fornicated, played in love with other boys who sold their souls to the Devil to have the easy money so early in the life, that from the parents, maybe watched the TV serial about the sex in a big city. So, Mike was left in a bad situation. Nobody wanted a long lifetime engagement and all chose the easy days of fun and pleasure. Mike could not offer fun and pleasure because first of all he had not sold his soul to the Devil in his childhood, when that main demon visited him in his dreams. Mere fornication, he was afraid of it. He was afraid of abortion as an insurance in the trade of fornication. All he had was his love and the honest intentions. But, nobody he loved ever needed it.
Then, he met Julia. Julia was a harlot in the biblical sense of that word. Mike became a fornicator himself because being sick many years by the reason that having no legal sex he tried a complete abstinence of the substitutes of that part of human life, he was persuaded by the society that there was no way for him now to have a family. So, Mike decided to know a woman and have sex before he should die, as it seemed to him in the next bout of his mental sickness. But, Julia grabbed at him as a drowning man would grab at something floating. She was sick herself with an ignoble sickness resulting of her own promiscuous sexual life and maybe that of her parents as a kind of inheritance. Mike was at that time not totally disappointed in the world and what it was ready to offer him. He was enchanted of big corporations and many millions transactions, money as it was and so on. But, here’s the crook. Mike’s buying capacity was much higher than Julia’s price was (not to be a hypocrite and to call the things their own names). Because it is only naturally when the woman’s monetary value, as an asset in the life of a man, does grow smaller because she was used, spoiled and spent by other males. So, not wanting to leave Julia in a lurch, Mike wanted to make a clearing of the costs and values and acquire another additional woman. He anticipated to get a virgin in a denominational church, not understanding as yet that all that was a Pharisee organization that needed the investment of more souls to sent them by a transit into the hell. So, comparing how much he worked himself and how lazy were the boys around. How much, or better to say how little he got and how much of life got the other boys, Mike was sure it was an equitable thing for him to have two wives. It would have kind of put right his life, and economically justified his choices of family values. It was to be a patriarch. He hoped that the girls would appreciate that Mike was a decent person and believed in the Lord, that they would repent, acquiesce in the subjection to the man and become a fair deal toward Mike, who did not waste his youth for fornication.
As concerning Jane, Mike knew that she was a hard nut. More probably she was a virgin. To ask her where she was when Mike was seventeen and poor of anything was risky and perhaps unprofitable.
After all, Mike was left alone by Julia, who made it demonstratively with another boy. She was healed now and her mind had changed. Mike began to think more about himself. Maybe, he asked of the God and the women around him too much? He decided just to become a writer and create some spiritually filled stories to serve the God. Sister Jane had written to him to begin a correspondence already in the winter of the year when Julie left Mike. Mike tried to answer her twice or thrice but the Lord did not allow it because it was too stringently toned. Maybe, it would have been too hard a blow for the mind of Sister Jane. Mike wrote much about the falsehood of the prophet on whose perverted teaching was the denomination’s doctrine based. But, then when Mike was already free and, of course, ready to accept a monogamy marriage with a dignitary virgin, he wrote an email letter to Sister Jane. That he wanted to serve the God by his literary labor, seven days a week. That he was now a priest of the Almighty and a virgin was needed by him for a wife. That his literary activity could bring a good life on account he wrote for the foreign audience but his expenditures were those of a country living. He excused himself that he answered only after half a year. But, Sister Jane did not answer. Probably, Mike knew what she wanted at that time. She wanted that Mike would come to Saint-Petersburg and find a prestigious job. But Mike was already disappointed of all it. He wanted a calm rural life. Mike sacrificed his life for the God, and maybe Sister Jane could have done the same becoming his wife. But, she was taught the other things. She wanted that Mike lived as any other man in the world except playing a religious hypocrite. She was seduced by the idea that the acceptance of the denominational religion would give her a sort of immunity against the due punishment of the Lord as the sharing of the life of that world implies. All the Protestantism is based on the foolish idea that there are the men who are predestinated before the foundation of the world to come into the hell and then the lake of fire no matter how they try and what they do. And, that there are the men who will come into the heaven and paradise no matter how much they sin, fornicate and steal, because they are also predestinated so by the Lord before the foundation of the world. They slander against the God that the Almighty decided on the fates of the men as if arbitrary, finding a pleasure in abusing of his power. God forgive me these words! They reject a personal choice and a personal Christian way of living to prove you are chosen. They like it, they pay the money to be seduced and that money is stolen by the false preachers of any kind. But, as Jesus had said a human soul accepts or rejects the kingdom of heaven as a child, and then that decision may be never changed. That is what the Lord bases his predetermination of the future life and fate on. That accepting of Christ is a grace, but a man should make the first step to approach and then always go on the right way. Unfortunately, Sister Jane did not understand it, as it seemed by all that. What was left to Mike? Just to pray for her.

Tax office girl

Once upon a time, Mike happened to visit the tax office. When he came into the room to get the papers he saw a very beautiful girl. She had the regular and symmetric features. Her beauty had no vice. Though she had no wedding ring on her finger Mike even did not venture a question if she was married. He was a mentally sick man according to the medical papers and his town was small, everybody was on the view. So, Mike did not try to make friends with her. It was only a matter of course that she was occupied already. Mike had no trumps among the cards in his hand to fight for her. That is why, he just regretted.


Pink world

A pair of times when the delirium came upon Mike’s mind he got a crazy idea that the girls whom he loved were pink, that is lesbian, that they loved one another, that they all were virgins, that all there marriages were false. It was even worse than to think that they were harlots, because then there seemed to be no barriers between them and Mike. But it did not match with the reality. Mike did not possess them. It was even worse to think that he could, but did not do it to that time. So, Mike took strong pills several days to get off this thought, when it came upon him a second time.
Then, he recalled his childhood memories. He sat with Chuck in the milk cocktail bar. He explained to Chuck about his life.
‘That’s they, Chuck, who are the donors of sperm. They’re simply the donors of sperm. That’s I who am the father. That’s my blood. If I did not do that it would not be possible for these children to appear at all. Without me it would not be possible. I gave my blood for them to live. Anybody can give the sperm, Chuck, but nobody but me wanted to give the blood.’ Told Mike.
‘But, Mike, that’s just the antibodies, that’s not blood. I mean that’s the antibodies from the blood…’ Here Chuck got silent.
‘That’s the blood, Chuck, and these children will have my blood, not just antibodies. They will know that I am their father, they’ll feel it. They will know that I gave my blood for them to live. They will know that without me they would not have had the life…’

The armchair

Mike remembered this armchair in the office of hypnotist. How he said the words after he gave Mike strong medicines. It was in the other city where they traveled to with his mom.
But before this, a man in the civil suit said to him in the building with a shield and sword coat of arms near the door, ‘Mike, it will be hard for you to cope with all this if you know why it happened. We’ll say that they hypnotize you for you to forget about all it. That’s that you keep your tongue. Or else, you’ll blurt out about all this when the pain will be too much to bear. We don’t want Mike that they said you’re crazy when you’d tell the truth. Nobody should know about it, Mike. So, we’ll let you forget all about it. You know that we chose somebody for that program. Your dad showed good results when he got vaccinated in Vietnam. He gave the signature he would not disclose the State secretes. He was also a part of the program. But, we did not know it would be a boy. We know that though you’re a child you wouldn’t tell out the tales. Simply, Mike, the pain will be too much and you may not be able to keep silent. That’s for your benefit. Otherwise, they may not believe you and laugh or worse than this to treat you with medicines when it is not necessary. So, we’ll do it, Mike.’
Mike knew that it would be good not to know why he suffered. It would be better just to believe that you’re simply sick. But, he knew that after all would be over he should know what he suffered for.
So, he asked the Lord before his mom was about to bring him into the hypnotist’s office, ‘Lord, we’ll I recall it after all is over?’
‘Yes, Mike, you’ll recall what you suffered for,’ the Lord answered. ‘Every man should know what he suffers for.’

Perspective

Mike recalled what the girls said to him:
Inna cunningly persuaded, ‘Mike, whether you want to be the first husband? The fortuneteller said that the first husband of any of us should die. So, whether you don’t want that our first husbands have died and you should take us widows? Mike whether you want that your firstborn children have died? Let the children of our first husbands die and then take us. Whether you don’t understand it? Whether you want that your children shall die? Mike, you’re too good for it. The fortuneteller said we should be the wives of one husband that our children should live and we die not ourselves. Mike, do consent.’
Mike realized how evil and cruel the girls were because of their unbelief and non-repentance before the God. Whether they really loved their first men, husbands or just lovers? Mike knew that the girls were about to curse the other boys with even greater curse than they wanted to put on him. Mike knew that the boys were stupid and wicked. Mike also understood that he could take the girls the way they said. For example, if he became a leader of a religious sect or some other way. The other boys were stupid not to fear the Lord. Mike knew how the Lord had punished David for the death of Uriah Hittite. Even if it would be the hand of the Almighty to smite them to death, Mike knew it was his word and his choice whether it would happen or not. A harem was not worth such casualty. Mike clearly understood the girl tempted him for the evil as Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah Hittite had done to David. Mike knew that the boys exposed themselves to a curse, but he did not want to have their blood of his hands. He was afraid that the Lord could punish him by smiting his children as He had done it with David’s child. Mike was ready to appease the Lord’s anger even toward the boys, whom the girls had involved into all it. He was ready to withstand the curse even for the boys. Their blood should not be the price of a possible harem. Mike felt that he should defend the boys from the girls. He knew the word of God and feared Him, but they were ignorant and stupid to call on themselves the wrath of the Almighty. Mike decided that the boys should not die.
‘What do you think so long on?’ asked Inna.
‘The boys won’t die,’ said Mike.
The girls rushed on Mike and belabored him with their fists, metal toy spades, small plastic buckets and all that they could grab into their hands. They threw the sand into Mike’s face and spat…

On the threshold of a new life

When Julia left Mike and made friends with another boy Mike felt himself free. It seemed that his oath of being faithful to the girls was now null and void. It seemed that he could love not only his girls but also the other girls around him. Really, the girls were not girls already but young women in the full strength of their feminine charms. Mike looked around and suddenly he began to see how many beautiful girls there were around him. But, Mike decided that he would make friends and take a wife only a virgin or virgins as concubines because he swore to the Lord to be a priest and might not defile his seed. So, many beautiful girls he saw around him were now of no interest for him. He did not initiate a flirt or intend romance so the girls’ charms had no effect upon him.
Whom he was for his girls? A creditor of the last resort on whom they could rely in case of a total burnout? Or an insurer agent whose duty was to wait for a rainy day? Was his obligation to offer a price for each girl and drive up their personal value making them more sure of themselves in their relations with their boyfriends and husbands? Anyhow, Mike executed his duties fully. Julia’s act seemed to part him forever from the girls of his past. Really he did not feel now such a strong and acute sense of love as it was in the days when he had been a student of the law school. His active courtship was over as it seemed. Mike stayed to be a ‘nominated’ husband to take the curse upon him. What he got in return? An inspiration to struggle and grow up. They all were his muses. All seemed to be over.
But, then Michael realized that he would never be able to get the girls out of his life, because he was surely a husband. He suffered through the curse, which followed the girls from their birth and he paid the full price. It was bad to marry a divorced woman. But, did Mike ever give them the letters of divorcement? No. It was his property, which in the legal sense he could ask back from the life itself. So, it was for the life to decide whether all the perspective of possible love affairs would dissolve in the routine of the days, and Mike would never take them as concubines of his dream team harem betrothing himself to a virgin maiden or two. Did Mike serve his term? He did not know for sure. Did Mike all his job as a last resort creditor? He did not know also. And what about his heart? It did not forget his loves. And, what for Julia, she could return and ask to pardon her consenting for less guarantees and lower conditions. So, it was for the life to answer the question whether Mike parted with his loves forever.

Den

It was an ordinary winter day, except that it was a bit windy and closer to the evening time. The group of inspectors got to a log cabin in the mountains. Henry felt like going to the latrine to make his life less heavy. When he was in the interior and already made his business squatting over the hole above a small pit in the earth he suddenly heard some groaning sounds. It was dark already and he took it for the voice of his guts. But then the sound got more intensive and it was clear it originated from beneath the wooden platform with a hole over which Henry sat. The more draft went out into the hole in the wooden platform. The groans were such ones as if somebody was really offended. Henry ended his business hastily, now sure somebody was in the dark small pit in the earth. He went out and closed the door of the latrine.
‘There’s somebody in the hole, in the latrine,’ said he when he went into the log cabin.
‘What do you say? What does it mean ‘somebody’?’ asked the rest of the inspecting group of the biosphere reserve.
‘I don’t know for sure but it groaned,’ said Henry.
‘Let’s go there and look ourselves,’ offered one of the inspectors.
‘Take the flashlight,’ said somebody.
When the group went to the latrine the two of them entered it and put the beam of the flashlight into the hole of the wooden platform. Somebody brown and hairy moved uneasily in the small pit.
‘Look, guys, that’s a bear, a small bear.’ Said that one who looked into the hole.
‘Let us to look ourselves,’ said those two that stood outside.
‘Come, see yourselves,’ said the one in the latrine.
They changed their places and those that had been out were now in and could see themselves. It was sure a small bear was looking for a den to get over the winter season. He did not make it himself because he found a ready one in the pit of the latrine that was made just some time before. Henry brought him out of the hibernation oblivion by his presence.
Then, it became an anecdote and Mike’s mom wrote the funny verses about that case in the biosphere reserve wall journal. The verses were funny and found its place in the biosphere reserves’ system regular paper. This way the small bear that tried to make avail of the human building efforts became a notorious personage.

A sad French boy

The Prague ‘seven thunder’ conference was in full. Mike met a black boy from Paris church in the Message of the Prophet. He seemed to be sad. The blue expression upon his face showed he had encountered some troubles in his young life. Mike approached him to talk with and encourage.
‘How’s the life in Paris?’ asked he.
‘Bad,’ answered the black boy in a good suit.
‘Worse than in Siberia?’ asked Mike half seriously half jocularly.
‘Much worse,’ confidently said the boy having unhappy eyes, sitting on a chair.

What a Russian doesn’t like the hard driving

The deep blue color jeep rode by the night road lit by the moonshine. The jeep made it across the mountain landscape. The quaint silhouettes of the taiga trees made an impression of the wilderness and absence of any civilized life.
The driver as any driver who changed a morally obsolete Russian model for an expensive western jeep drove hard and fast. Two Swedes, Eric and Lennart began to feel uneasy being carried so fast on that mountain night road.
‘Mike,’ addressed Eric, ‘say to the driver that he should ride less hard. The road is icy.’
The tarmac on the road reflecting the light of the moon might really created the impression of a road being covered by the ice. Mike realized it, still was faithful to his duties of a serviceman.
‘Listen, Luke,’ it was the name of the driver, ‘the foreigners complain that you drive too hard on the night road covered by the ice.’ Mike warned.
‘That’s not the ice, that’s the tarmac. Translate it to the Swedes.’ Said Luke.
‘I know it, Luke, and I presume that they know it also. Only that’s their argument for simply to persuade you to drive easier. They are not accustomed to such a speed.’
‘Ok, ok, I’ll drive easier.’ Luke consented.
‘You know that there’s a saying ‘what Russian does not like the hard driving’?’ asked Mike off the Swedes.
‘Oh, we know it,’ said Lennart.
‘I believe it has something to do with the Russian character accustomed to long distances that have to be taken over fast.’ Presumed Michael to somehow settle down the matter for it to be less straining and more comfortable.
‘I believe it has to do with some other thing,’ said Lennart, ‘as we had the chance to see here ourselves how it stands with the people who gave us the rides. They drive very fast by the road, then meet a friend and pull over to the side of the road, and then for half an our just talking, talking, talking.’

A pun

Mike and his Swedish friends drove in the jeep for some business connected with the making of the movie on the snow leopards. Mike was athirst.
‘Cold water is what I’ve called water.’ Mike played a punster of himself.
‘Cold water is what I called water. Good,’ Said Lennart.
‘Lennart is the collector of the puns,’ Eric informed, ‘I think it will add to his collection.’
‘Yea, cold water is what I’ve always called water. Fine.’ Concluded Lennart.

The influence to the detriment

Louisa was a woman from WWF office in Moscow. A pair of times she came with Eric and Lennart to translate for the process of making the movie of the snow leopards for Eric, while Lennart collected the material for his book on the history and nature of the region. For Mike, she made an impression of the woman of good looks that was accustomed to the condescending of the mighty ones and the forgiveness of the small people due to her beauty. Maybe, she just presumed it to be so and acted that way. Probably, her career from a school teacher to the official of WWF Moscow Office was in main part accomplished on the deft use of her feminine charms. By flirt she paid for the money she got for herself legitimately or not legitimately. She surely made one to think a dame of his heart of her. And, now it turned out the same way.
Mike wrote in co-authorship with Lennart and their agreement was that the young man would get no money owing to the respect he had towards his senior partner. However, Mike hoped for some profit. Maybe some books that he could gift to his own acquaintances and say that it would be what he had written himself in English. Mike worked sedulously and it made a good guidebook with the folklore and historic materials he had added to the book, plus a good tale about a shaman. Maybe Louisa thought that she was too good and beautiful to play according to the rules of honesty or somehow else. But, the money she had received for translating the book into Russian she simply put into her pocket and stopped any communicating with the Swede writer. Perhaps, it was just a Muscovite mentality that made her believe that her status of the citizen of the capital made her somehow more capable in rights to appropriate the profit of the work of the other people that lived in Siberia as the colony of the metropolitan city. All in all, Mike got nothing of his work except a claim that he had written a book in English in co-authorship with a Swede that somehow made up for the absent diploma in linguistics. Lennart even did not want to answer Mike’s emails maybe having a feeling that Louisa acted in behalf of the whole Russian company. It was not the first time that Mike was humiliated by a beautiful woman, but first time it had a clear monetary loss. Louisa ‘stole’ five thousand dollar as was the term of the Swedes. If Mike got such a contract he would be much more well to do. Maybe, Mike was punished by a spiritual flirt with that Moscow woman experienced in intrigue. Mike almost never saw her but he wanted to consecrate his work for such a woman. He felt like making a dame of his heart of that Moscow madam. It was instinctive. And, the madam took what was due to her.

Beauty

The autumn wind blew on the street. Mike, his mom and Aunt Diana entered into the shop just to look for some interesting thing and a post card to congratulate an acquaintance of the mom. After they looked through the goods in a department of the big shop, they went out of it for a next one. Mike’s eyes caught the sight of a small lady of about eighteen with regular features and an aquiline nose; just the kind of beauty Mike loved. Mike looked at her not afraid to expose his interest. The girl surely saw him with the corners of her eyes. But she did not show it and looked for some cheap jewelry in the exposition. Then, the mom and aunt got to another department and Mike could see the girl no more. He went out and tried to cast the occasional glances on her. But then a young man of the same small stature got to her from somewhere. It was unknown whether it was her lover or just a friend. But, more probably she was not a virgin, and, the more so, lived in the town where Mike knew nobody and had arrived to see his aunt and other relatives. So, now there were no chances for an acquaintance, even phantom ones.
Then, Mike was on the street near the entrance of the shop and saw the couple to go out. He talked with his aunt about life when the mom looked the goods on the second story. Then, the couple returned. They had the files like students have, and of the relevant age, but behaved as businessmen. The so beautiful girl looked into Mike’s eyes and smiled to show she appreciated Mike’s interests for her beauty. She was just according to Mike’s taste. They entered into. Mike felt a pain. The beauty always hurts.

Steals

Mike was not a stealer. However a pair of times he committed a real stealing of the other people’s property. First time, it was when Mike was yet a kindergarten boy. He along with his parents was the guest at the house of some acquaintances in the nearby village. The hosts had a much elder boy, who already visited the school and had been in the labor camp that summer. Labor camps in the Soviet Union were the children camps where the school boys and girls earned their first money picking up the weeds on the collective farm fields. Anyhow, it was the way in Siberia. Maybe, it some more southern republics of the Soviet Union the children collected the fruits and grapes indulging themselves in the consumption of them, but in the Siberia it was just beet and onions. So, that boy whose name was Simon earned as much as twenty rubles during his stay in the labor camp.
He made fun of Mike and teased him on the monetary question. He said that he could buy chocolate, ice cream and candy, but pretended that his idea was to send the money into the fund of the helping of the starving people in Africa. For Mike it was a foolish idea. It would be better just to give the money to his parents. Parents always lack the finances.
Mike was in a real agitation. He was seduced by the financial power of the pair of the red banknotes. He found a moment and stole the money out of the post envelope where they were kept.
Then, Mike did not know what to do. The remorse came into his conscience. He knew that they would surely think of him as the stealer. So, he needed to dispose somehow of his loot. Maybe, inspirited by the Russian version of the story about Pinocchio, Mike took a spade and went into the orchard when he parents dropped into the house of the grandparents in the village on the way home. But, he made it hastily, and the more so the orchard was under the view from the veranda where his grandma Mary usually cooked the meals. So, Mike was spotted by the grandma as conducting himself in a suspicious way. Mike’s idea was to dig up the banknotes under the wild apple tree in the orchard. When he already made a small hole in the soil with a spade that was three times as long as the boy, the dad entered the gates of the orchard and asked what was the problem. Mike wept, confessed and pleaded guilty. His parents took the money and leaving Mike with his grandparents rode to the village where their friends lived and returned the money.
Next time, Mike committed a real steal was in the scout camp where he was enrolled for the first and last time in his life. It was after a week of the dreary presence in the scout community and Mike decided to leave the place anyhow. So, he emptied the pockets of his roommates collecting a lot of coins and a pair of the hand-watches. The whole roomful of scout tried to lead Mike out on the clean water as the Russian saying goes, but though legally illiterate his instinct of the presumption of innocence told Mike that the one that was not caught is not a thieve as another Russian saying goes. So, Mike kept all his illegal profits and even was not beaten up by the angry scouts, who could not prove he was a thief.
Then Mike gifted the best watch to his grandma Mary and told it had been found in the street. Mike always found some trinkets and brought them home to play with. So, his grandma believed him. Then, in his adult years, Mike really found the watches on the side of a road and presented it to his dad. It proved that his version had a resource of plausibility. But, afterwards Mike repented of all his criminal trade and went straight.
After many years when Mike was a man aged twenty-six he asked his mom if he was a Christian boy since his childhood. He needed it to know he made a right choice and should go to heaven. It was partly because Mike anticipated a good appraisal on account his mom had once said to a psychiatrist doctor that Mike had been a gold child before he got his sickness, and created no problems for the parents.
But, what he heard was quite to the contrary, ‘Don’t seduce yourself with the vain thinking you was a Christian boy. You stole twenty rubles once.’

Sign

Mike was sick. The subsequent bout of the illness came upon him. He had to take pills and felt very bad. It was the night and he lay in his bed on the second floor of his family cottage. Mike had one question that tortured him. He wanted to know whether Inna, Jane and Tina and other girls were his wives. It was not just a crazy question. The essence of it consisted in the fact that the girls had said then deeply in the childhood that Mike had been a nominated, a called so husband, one to take the curse. It had its consequence that Mike was their husband before the God. So, Mike wanted to have a sign from the God.
‘Lord, if they are my wives really smite this electric pillar,’ said Mike trembling because of the medicine that worked in his flesh.
He almost forgot about the question when a lightning struck upon the electric pillar and the firework of sparks flashed in the window to dazzle Mike’s eyes. Now, Mike knew that before the God they were his wives. It was necessary for him to know it, because he loved them and wished them. But, it was a sin to wish the wife of another man. And, there was confusion. Mike suffered for those girls to take the curse off them upon himself, but they belonged to other men after the law of the men. Before the God he was their husband.
At that time, Mike thought that it was only to take on the curse that he called himself the husband. Because his idea was that the Lord connected the girls he loved to other men in the marriages. But what he suffered then for?
Afterwards, he understood that he was betrothed to them before the Lord, and they were his brides, but then they gave themselves to other lovers, boyfriends or husbands by the law of the men. But, by the law of the God, Mike stayed their husband and suffered for their sins because he cancelled their vows before the God, that they would be barren or commit a suicide or some other stuff.
In a certain day, Mike gave them all a spiritual writing of divorcement and he felt better. The curse got off him. Now, their chosen husbands had to answer for all their wives committed or what had been on them already since the birth. Of course, the curse was weakened by Mike’s suffer, but still it was powerful the way Mike felt how easier his burden was now. That burden that was on his soul. Will some of them really be his wives some day? It was for the God to decide. Because there was much talk in the childhood that the girls would be widows. It was the way they tried to seduce Mike to become a husband of the curse. But, the girls were sure Mike would maybe die and take the curse into the tomb or maybe always carry upon himself all his life. So, maybe they would really turn widows if the Lord were angry with their husbands. Those that were also for the idea that the curse should stay on Mike bereaving him good career and personal life, leaving only suffering and pain to him. All that stuff was for the Lord to qualify and make His judgements. For Mike it was only left to live and wait.

Uncle Victor

Mike went along his way on some business when he met his uncle Victor, the brother of his mother. As it always was with his uncle, he began a prolonged speech on the essence and meaning of life, being drunken himself.
‘I am the same kind of a romantic as you, Mike. I am the same. They do not understand us, but we exist. Right? Your father he is not the same. But, I understand you. They don’t understand you. Or, do not want to, but I understand because I’m the same… You know I was a fool when I was in your age, sought for something…You know, maybe, I also made a fool of myself on that case. Yea.’ He said.
Mike knew that his uncle hardly was such a romantic as Mike was. He took all from the life drinking much. And, it was his fault that he lost his family after he had divorced with his wife not able to forgive her betrayal. It caused pain to Mike to hear that he was the same. On the contrary, he always tried to live in a regular way. He suffered much and had been lonely for a very long time before he met Julia, and now she left him. Mike invested much into his studies of foreign languages. He really was under a spell of learning. He was a kind of martyr for the sake of the girls he loved. He came through the years of sickness and struggle. Hardly, his uncle was the same.
He listened to the drunken, often incoherent phrases of his uncle and then said he was in a hurry to part with him sooner.


Sanatorium

A doctor, a friend of the family, helped Mike and his mother to get a pass to the sanatorium in Uchum. They came there though Mike was contrary to that idea at first. Mike from the very beginning fell under the charms of the administrator, an Armenian young woman. But, she was married as it turned later. She let Mike to flirt with her in a latent and not obtruding way, but finally put on the wedding ring to chase off his courtship. But, she had a sister or other relative that seemed to be free. That Armenian girl was even more beautiful. Mike began to dream about her. But, his pragmatism made him lose that chance. He knew it himself and his mother also said it to him after he had confessed about his sympathy that the Armenian girls kept their honor under the control of their relatives and were honest. The Armenian girls knew they were pretty and put value on it.
‘She would ask for a good maintenance. The Armenian women know their price. She would require the gold and furs. Whether you can offer that to her?’ The mom asked.
Mike knew that not. He was a beginning writer and poet. He was published only once but it was in the co-authorship with a Swedish writer who had renown already. He earned nothing on that and his creative activity was a long-term investment of the time and forces. That is why he was afraid to court the free Armenian girl and just showed he appreciated her charm by his interest. Instead, he tried to find a way with a Russian girl, a patient of the sanatorium. He told her about his former point of view that the girls he had loved were virgins and lesbian but then complained how much he had been cheated by them. He said he had thought that Julia had been a virgin because he had known she had lost her virginity in an operation in the school when they had said to the girls to bring the cotton wool from home and visit the room of the school medical nurse.
‘You know even about that,’ Laura as was the name of the girl commented with the philosophic calmness.
All his efforts to seduce Laura came barren. All he was successful to do was to kiss her and contemplate her naked bosom when he invited her to the sauna. The theory that a romance of no responsibility in a sanatorium was easy turned out to be not corresponding to the truth.
Once, when Mike played the Ping-Pong with Laura, the pair of the Armenian young women with an Armenian young man who was probably the husband of the administrator came to the sports hall. They smiled as though they understood that Mike just capitulated before the Armenian beauty and passed the time with Laura because of that. After they checked their weight they went away to show that they came to find a possible way with Mike but he was not free. It was a strange game. Still, Mike was capable to extract the positive emotions from that latent flirt with the Armenian girl. Simply, Mike was still sick, had no steady job and had no possibility to start a serious affair the reputation of the Armenian girls only allowed for. Laura also showed she was not keen on the free love without any implications. Mike was left without his sanatorium romance. Still, he was satisfied because at least the Armenians showed him the respect, reciprocal interest and politeness.


Little girls

Mike loved to make friends with the little girls of about seven to ten years old. He loved them because however a harlot slept in each one of them, they could not still play a harlot physically, and by that were small fairies, princesses and ladies. They could not be defiled and cause pain and suffering. Maybe, it was because he was already an adult and the little girls were timid to touch the question of family and the rights of the possession. Mike bought the candy to the little girls he was acquainted with. Sometimes, he gave them a little money. He spoke with them about the Lord and when it was possible made them presents. It was a happiness that they could not yet betray. Not because they did not have it in their hearts but because it was not possible by the fact that a female ready for the fleshly love did not yet awake in them. They were kind and pretty and Mike loved them much.

Mary the virgin

Mike went across the hospital court from his aunt Jane’s flat. His mom led him by his hand. They came on the small trail among the trees on which the destiny turned them to meet a woman with her small blond daughter. The women began to talk about their adult affairs in their jargon not to be understood by the kids. Mike knew that the girl was led from a building in the hospital yard, so most probably she was sick the same as all the girls around.
‘Does your so good a boy marry our girl?’ asked the woman from Mike’s mom.
The girl began to dance a snake on a leg and play a coquette. She looked at Mike’s eyes but hid hers not able to withstand Mike’s look.
‘I think that any boy would like to marry your girl, only Mike wants to suffer for some sick girls he knows. I cannot shake that idea out of his head. He kind of wants to have a harem.’ Mike’s mom answered.
The girl lifted up her eyes to show a soft indignation.
‘And, he wants to marry only the virgins. That way he surely will stay a bachelor.’ The mom commented.
The girl with the golden hair lowered her head and did not look at Mike’s side any more. The women exchanged a pair of farewell words and each went their way…
Mike became a writer. He wrote the short stories and poems in English. He deemed himself to have a kind of reputation that somehow balanced his renown of a crazy man. So, he went to the church of the Witnesses of Jehovah and plainly said that he needed a wife among those girls that visited the church. Like he wanted to marry. His eyes spotted Mary, the girl that turned out to be seventeen as her small brother gave out the secret. On Mike’s question if she would want to become the friends with Mike, she waved her head to show she was negative to that idea. Then, a guy began to say to Mike that it should take much time to serve for a girl from the church, to go around and to speak all the trash that it is written in their books like only the Witnesses of Jehovah should be saved. To addition, a woman pronounced her to the effect that to be a writer was a sin before the Lord, and it was necessary for Mike to work as the lawyer.
Mary studied to be a cook. She would make a good wife. But, when they made Mike understand they did not like Mike’s sincerity he came to ask his pardon off Mary. But, instead of the polite receiving of the words of ‘I am sorry’, she turned her back on Mike. Her mom did not help a grimace of pain on her face and commented that Mary was shy. Then, when Mike went home Mary and her mom turned back to sit into a car that rode from behind. Mary had an evil smile on her face.
Then, when Mike met a lame young man from that church he said that he had understood that Mary wanted the money and his idea was to earn it. So, Mike’s bid for Mary did not come out a happy way as yet. The only way out was to leave it to the time, destiny and dreams. Virgins can be bought only for the honest money.

Status quo

Mike sat with Chuck in the same milk cocktail bar a year after he had been there with him and the girls had been present. A loud music played, so nobody heard them this time. They could only hear one another. Chuck again began the talk about the vaccine that originated through Mike.
‘You know what, Chuck, a doctor has explained me how it works. It should be my children that will be born from those girls that had been vaccinated. I should be the biological father of them. That’s because the vaccine is based on my antibodies. Then, it shall be Ok for the kids. My antibodies in the blood of the prospective mothers that had multiplied in them to that time will match with the antibodies that the children will have through the genes provided that they’re my own kids. It works that way: the kids always have the blood of their father that’s why it’s different from that of the mother, and the mothers with the sick blood can bear the healthy kids. The DNA of the new human being is that formed out of the sum of the genes of the mom and dad, but the antibodies are the same. That’s the mother’s antibodies and these of the dad. So, if that will be my own kids it will be Ok.
But, the fix is, Chuck, that they wanted to bear the kids from other boys, who did not suffer for it. They explained to them that they’ve got immunity, may sleep around and have healthy kids. That kind of perverted them. But, that’s not so. But, they were so lustful that they might not see the truth, even the specialists. The main thing is that if they sleep with other boys, lose their virginity for them, try to bear them the kids it will hurt me much. And, those doctors knew it. It will be because the soul is in the blood. The antibodies are also the blood, no difference. So, I’ll feel the treason. It’s because it will be much harder for my antibodies to fight the sickness in the blood of the girls. Why? That’s due to when they sleep with other boys, they’ll receive their antibodies. Their antibodies are no good. But, these antibodies will have the priority, Chuck. That’s painful to speak about it, but that’s so. The woman has a right to confer the priority. I’m not their husband, Chuck, I mean these girls. It could only work if I was their husband. But, they want to confer the right of priority to other boys. Because they are more beautiful and have not the problems that I’ll naturally have. The nature works this way, Chuck, that if a girl wants to confer the right of the priority to some boy, she should then bear the kids from him. It’s owing to when there’s the blood of the first sexual act, then she receives a lot of his antibodies. All the time till now, and much longer, Chuck, I has lived and will live to support those girls. My soul and antibodies that lives in those girls shall support their immunity against their inborn diseases: syphilis, hepatitis. These microbes are somewhat weakened by their hereditary immunity but this hereditary immunity was not strong enough to fight against even a weakened sort of the hereditary diseases. You know, Chuck, the woman has a priority. Even if she’s sick, the disease will sleep in her till she has a right to make a choice who will be the father of her kids. Then, the male will give her the seed, but at this moment the microbes, viruses and bacteria, will fight against the male. That’s due to the fact that the microbes also have a kind of intellect. That’s their spirit. That’s the principle by which the disease works.
And, if to say about my case, it is necessary, Chuck, that the girls bore the children of me. That’s because it is my antibodies that gave them the days of grace. I ate those pills filled with weakened viruses, poisons and radioactive elements. I had enough time to process them because I’m not an adult and the level of hormones is low in my blood. I gave antibodies, but that’s the same as with monkeys. That’s AIDS if they choose the other boys for the fathers. They did not suffer for them girls, I did. If another boy gives the seed, then my antibodies will destroy the antibodies of the father and mother in a conceived baby in the womb and let the other viruses to grow in number to kill the life…’ Mike had time to say.
‘I will get a monkey,’ cried out a beautiful blond girl that sat at the table that stood near and the tears began to drop out of her eyes.
Mike waited for a moment, then spoke, ‘But, if they conceive the babies of me, I will have even more antibodies to that time to kill any viruses that will come to the baby from the blood of the mother and the mother’s blood will clean up itself.
That’s my blood, Chuck, that lives in them. That’s the part of my soul. I will know if they betray me and lose their virginity with other boys and conceive the kids of them that shall die or be sick. I will suffer and want to die. But, I promise you, Chuck, I will get over and see a new life even if the girls leave me. After all it, I will have even better immunity for my wives and kids. I will marry only virgins as a priest of the Lord. And, I will share my possession of immunity with my sons. They shall inherit the land and be healthy and strong. But, I will fast. Maybe, I shall go crazy. But, I’ll get back. I will live to see the tomorrow with a clear mind.’ Mike ended.

Vision

Once in his childhood Mike met an aged woman that had a perambulator that she wheeled before her. Mike had also been with somebody he did not recall precisely when he became an adult. Maybe it was his mom. The women talked about the girl and Mike understood that the girl was infected with a venereal disease. It was not something new for him. He already knew some girls with the same problems. He was a kind of friend for them and a kind of enemy because they accused him that he wanted to take their sin and curse on himself and then marry them in return. They said Mike had a material interest. So, Mike felt that he needed to pray and fast for those girls just as a Christian brother that the Lord had mercy on them and allowed them to have the children. And, now he prayed about that standing beside that perambulator with a girl in it.
He already partly understood the truth. That his grand-granddad had acted very badly when he had interfered into the relations of a young Armenian couple, had destroyed it and fathered a daughter of the sick woman himself. He had played on the sorrows of the other people. Mike did not want to commit such an act himself. He simply wanted to fast and pray for those girls. How much better would be if his grand-granddad Nick had just prayed for the young Armenian couple that surely loved one another, prayed that the Lord should give them a baby, because the Lord had blessed him enough already. He himself had had a lot of kids. But, the grand-granddad Nick had taken avail of that problem. He had deserted the woman with the baby when the troops had to go back home, and they had said that the Young Turk had killed the woman with the baby. So, Mike did not want to be like that wicked man that had preferred that the Lord had punished not him but his grand-grandson for him not to see it. Because he had known that the punishment would be hard. So, Mike wanted to be a godfather to all those kids…
Then, he met that girl when she was already a young woman. She was beautiful and liked to stroll with her mother throwing passionate glances upon Mike. Mike liked her much. She had a turned-up nose and it made her pretty. Then, once Mike saw a small baby, just an infant. It looked like the daughter (Mike knew she was the daughter) of him and that young woman. First, Mike believed it as a token that that girl would be one of his wives, but then after some time when his wife Julia had left him for another man he thought it was a goddaughter of his, maybe a progeny of some other man. It was because Mike had seen the same vision with his wife Julia but they had parted. Anyhow, Mike was happy that because he fasted and prayed the Lord consented to give those girls the daughters. It was already enough for him. He was glad that he acted as a Christian.

Burden

‘But, the men cannot stand the responsibility just for one wife if she does not betray him, but you want to have us all. You’ll be a drug addict. You won’t be able to stand the heaviness of it. You won’t!’ Inna argued.
‘I will work and distract myself of it.’ Mike opposed. ‘I will withstand.’ Mike assured…
A warm summer night, Mike went with his pal Jack. They gossiped on something or other.
‘There’s a guy in our city, he’s name’s Dobrovolsky. And, you know what? He lives with a rich girl in a marriage, but she’s a lesbian. He tries to edge her on sleeping with him but she does not agree for love or money. I don’t know why he lives with her. She’s sick with (here he called the name of the sickness), had born a sick baby from nobody knows whom, but he does not give her the divorce. Maybe, he hopes that somebody will believe him that he’s that tough. Most probably, that’s a matter of prestige. He’s surely just a showman.’ Jack told.
Mike put it into the cupboard of his mind on one of its shelves. Surely, Jack was not a man to tell old wives’ tales, so it was a talk of the town. But, Mike was as distant of all it as possible owing to his mental sickness. However, he began to dream of that lesbian girl. He wanted to conquer that girl and prove he was that tough…
Julia sat on her rear on the floor. She put her face on Mike’s lap and asked, ‘Did you hear something about me, Mike?’
‘What?’ Mike demanded.
‘Like I’m interested in girls.’ She made it more precise.
‘Nope,’ Mike said sure that all those talks about Julia’s sexual life with other men before were a pure coin, however Julia had confessed once that she thought it of due Mike had wanted to listen it.
‘I asked just for the sake of it. There go different rumors around the town. I thought you heard.’ Julia ended the question…
‘Mike, but you should know that there’s also the virginity in our asses…’ Inna ventured.
Mike felt glad, but his countenance with an expression of indignation showed it was not enough. The Inna and Tina smiled…
‘Mike, Mike, cool out, do not boil.’ Inna calmed Mike down. ‘There’s a thing, but you should guess it yourself when you will be old after you part with Julia just for some time.’
‘What is it?’ he asked.
‘That’s a surprise.’ Inna said and looked to Tina’s eyes with an expression of intimidation…
Mary’s mom met Mike on his way through the hospital yard.
‘Mike,’ she addressed Michael with a tinge of privacy, ‘Why you needed all that? The girls and to provide them with good jobs for their parents, flats and houses?’
‘It’s because they wanted to kill our family and make my dad sick. I’ll come through it and look into their eyes when all over and I myself come through that illness to have the immunity. Anyhow, they will not kill me because I can produce the immunity alone.’ Mike professed what lay on his heart.
‘And, you wanted to do it from the very beginning?’ the woman demanded in astonishment.
‘Nope, first I wanted to be honest and ate those pills to help the sick people but those girls and men in KGB were avid. They allowed the girls to marry the other boys while I’ll be sick and no good for a marriage. I gave them all. But, for them that’s not enough. They don’t want to wait.’ Mike related.
‘But, they’ll kill you, Mike.’ She warned.
‘That’s only I who want to forbear from the love with women and produce the antibodies. I’ll just live through it and look what it’s all about. Anyway, I’ll receive what I earned that way or other. As to myself, I meant only good. They won’t kill me. That’s their fault, and their dishonesty. If they want to make business on it they can. I’ll see how it winds up.’ Michael explained.
‘But, you don’t leave my Mary. I’ll have a look after her. You know I asked no benefits myself. Almost nothing. We’re the modest people. But, you promise you’ll take wife my daughter Mary.’ She demanded.
‘I promise if she’ll wait for me and keep her virginity.’ Mike agreed.
‘You be sure she’ll wait.’ Mary’s mother assured…
Mike sat on a chair in the office room of the local KGB office.
‘You know, there can be AIDS if you vaccinate the girls I do not have the family with.’ Mike warned.
‘But, why AIDS? Whether you are as a monkey? As I see you belong to the same species with us.’ The chief of the local KGB office said.
‘You just do not vaccinate the other girls who cannot be my wives. As for the rest, that’s their choice.’ Mike proposed.
‘But, we already vaccinated hundreds of thousands girls, where’ve you been earlier?’ the angry man said in a high tone. ‘Whether you don’t want to be a national hero?’
‘But, when you do it my DNA untwists and I can die.’ Mike said understanding that the status of the national hero would surely take the burden off him in that he would receive no profit from it and they would ask nothing from him even if they get no profit themselves. He was afraid to become weaker.
‘But, the DNA twists right with them girls, doesn’t it?’ the fat man supposed.
‘Still, the microbes can get angry with them because of pressure and they may not to be able to cope with them and stand till the end. The girls should feel easy to be healthy, their bodies are different from male ones. They should want to live.’ Mike explained.
‘So, you want the money?’ the man asked.
‘No, I don’t want the money. Simply, I need that they’d help me when I’m in need myself.’ Mike now knew that in such a case he would have nothing but forbear from sex for years because it was the business and they’d ask from him if some were wrong. He heard about some wine that plays with small bubbles in the bottles in the wine cellar when the vine gets the flowers on it. So, he knew it would help the vaccinated girls if he forbore of sex. For him not to degrade himself it would have been necessary to forbear just one year, but to help the girls much more. He decided to do from nineteen to twenty seven all the while he would have been obliged to be recruited to the army had he been sound.
‘Ok.’ The man said. ‘But, it all depends on you…’
Once, lying in bed, Mike was taken over by the power of the Holy Ghost to create miracles, to make Julia the virgin again or to make it possible for her to be a virgin at all.
‘I believe that you are a virgin, Julia.’ Mike pronounced in half a delirium.
‘You believe it the right way.’ She said as though Mike was too dull not to understand it earlier…
Mike felt happy because he was cheated on by the girls he loved. That knowledge gave him a sure comfort. It caused pain, but still it was comfortable to feel betrayed. When he recalled it he knew he was lucky enough to have three unanswered love feelings and a harlot as the fourth. However, the truth crept out. Mike knew it was too big a business for the girls to go on cheating. So, Mike could not be happily unhappy any more. He knew that surely the girls were lesbians and kept virgins, otherwise the serious people in security office would not invest in them. He also recalled how the man who patronized him on behalf of the fatherland asked if Mike was ready for the surprises and smiled merrily and cunningly. Mike knew that his girls just waited till he would become a writer to provide for a big family. Julia once said that for Mike it would have been better if he had had ten mistresses instead of ten wives. It meant that they all had pity on Mike appreciating what he had already done for them, ready to call it enough. Mike knew why the men liked the loving triangle. It was because the men disposed of the responsibility both, the husband and the lover. Women do not like it. They take it only for the business of two men providing for one woman. It’s matter of the money, not love. The woman cannot love two men at once, that’s unnatural. She’s the so more unhappy and burdened by heaviness of responsibility as the men around her feel happy in the absence of the necessity to respond for a woman. That’s called emancipation. It’s the same way stupid as the assertion that a woman wants just by herself to serve in the army and police and make abortions to vote for both. So, Mike was trapped. Only, his work distracted him from the gravitation pressure of the physical responsibility for many women. On the other hand, he was disappointed that he could not get loose of all that necessity to write and supply for a pack of wives and live an ordinary life. A notorious woman had born him a baby. It was a girl. And, on a paper photo he surely knew it was his daughter, so much she resembled him and his mother in her youth. The woman was rich and Mike was afraid that she would have ordered a murder from the mob if he had not become a successful writer. On the other hand, it was necessary to win all the girls on the whole, because otherwise it was Mike who would be guilty of their love affairs with some other ordinary men because of the absence of respect and love for their male. It would bring about more of illnesses and plagues. In such a case, the security office would not act manners with Michael. So, Mike was obliged to win a pack of the unspoiled virgins in the end. It was what he saw in the visions of his future. That gift he asked of the God when he was a boy yet. He knew his future was his dreams. He checked it by his present events, which he had already seen in his dreams of the past, present and future. It was like a movie. The dreams of the past kept in memory matched the reality of the present in a cinematography manner. So, Mike felt the whole pressure of the burden. It was first time in his adult life, he was able to put it on his shoulders with its full weight.

Manliness

‘You should forbear also, then, it would be equitable.’ Mike said to the girls. ‘That’s only for a month to be in the hospital for each you, and after that we can have a family, I and you three, if you say you want to be equal in rights.’
‘But, what do you say!?’ Tina and Inna breathed out in indignation. ‘But, you are a man and you should suffer if you want that we would love you. But, there’s so many girls also who want to have babies from you and be in your family. You simply do not imagine what you say!’
Mike felt the despair of inevitable burden of suffering to come all over his soul. He knew he would not have an easy ride in his life…
His whole life seemed to Mike to be a way of profitless suffering. It seemed to be no light in the end of the tunnel. He recalled how in his childhood being ten years old he allowed an adult American woman to make a sorcery to put a curse on Mike’s heart. It was for the sake of love. At that moment, if Mike had been able to kill himself through the time curtains, to kill that young boy who over-estimated himself to make be in torture of forbearance and medical treatment his adult self, he would have surely done it. The thought that it was impossible gave a strong pain of despair and not-reversibility of the mistakes of the past. It seemed he was ended for his own credibility and stupidity. He suffered insurmountably while the others had fun and pleasure. He experienced strongest ailing of the soul and flesh just to be betrayed and cheated as he presumed. He was in so much of lost courage and hope. Only his own love seemed to justify it a bit. It brought sweetness to his pain. That case with the adult American woman was just the face of his whole life pattern. All his love and life bargains of the past were as though enslaving because he put himself into the most unhopeful situation by too much of the sacrifice. Still, his suffering was not sufficient for his happiness as it could be seen now and he was left to ruin…
After Mike understood that the girls were faithful to him, including that beautiful American goddess that descended as though from heaven to gift herself to him, he felt much better. He got even some sound hazard in his life. He counted how many children he had for sure born by his women. He recalled how he had bargained with the security officers for the money and property instead of his services. He received much for his women and his own family. It was only necessary to write and earn more money for the providing of the family when he would take his women as wives as he saw his future. Someone might be happy at the achieved and stop, but Mike had invested much and wanted to progress.
He almost was not afraid for his health any more, but for the uneasy pain and discomfort he always felt if did not write. It was a physiological feeling owed much to his addiction, the strong intellectual over-exploiting of the resources of his organism in the past and a constant doze of the interior morphine of the body as a result of it he had formerly needed to fight the stress. So, his body ached if he did not have the habitual straining of the brains. All the same, it looked like the struggle was mainly over and he received what he should receive for his manliness.

Unsuccessful trip

It was during the second time when Mike went to Novokuznetsk with Brother Guido, an evangelist from Belgium. The pastor Vitally advised Mike to stop taking the psychiatric pills and assured he would be helped by the prayers of the fellow Christians. But, Mike felt bad without the pills. He could not sleep and began to buy the coffee of the conductor. He drank many cups and did not sleep the whole night. Next day, when they got in the hotel, Mike mistook the numbers and thought that they locked the door of their number. He broke the door with the pair of kicks and it turned out that it was the number of a girl that visited the church also. Second thought of Mike was to that the girl locked the door because somebody harassed her. Mike began to quarrel and bawl to find out who tried to violate the independence of the girl. Finally, the visions took Mike over and during the church sermon his main idea of all the trouble on the earth was that the Lord started the world and could not change the rules after he gave the freedom to the humankind. In Mike’s understanding the Lord struggled as much as he could to save all his daughters the women who seemed to be saint creatures against the bad men his unfaithful sons who made evil and caused harm to the women. Mike believed to be on the side of the Lord and so it was very hard to win the battle he was ready to struggle along with the Lord. The source of wicked things seemed to be the inability of the Lord to solve all the problems at once. Mike felt that He tried as much as might but could not prevent the evil. In the number, he had said to the brethren when they had come to calm him down that the Lord was a hired murderer. Now, on the wall he saw a picture where Jesus with a staff and a sward on the back tried to save a stray sheep that was about to fall into an abyss. Mike’s revelation was that Jesus had been a whoremonger and killed the wicked men in a gangster way. He struggled with the men for the goodness as a man against a man though He was a God. At the mention of the name of the Lord, Mike made the sign of the cross on his chest every time which was contrary to the doctrine of Protestantism to which the church belonged. Helen could stand it no more and ran away from her seat in tears. Then, Mike understood it was because he was not indifferent for her. Still, on the street she was able to smile when Mike asked if she studied in a college while she was yet in the school. All turned out to be contrary to his plans of making closer acquaintance with Helen for the purpose of future possible marriage. The plans that had made him accept the invitation to come to Novokuznetsk. He had hoped to pass the time with Helen and have fun but instead he passed all three days of the preaching of Brother Guido in the number sleeping in the bed or analyzing his delirium.


Party

It was five years since the graduation from the university. Mike was skeptical as to the necessity of his presence to the anniversary party they said would be held in the one of the Abakan restaurants. And, he would never be present on it if not for the efforts of his university friends. Samuel as was the name of his friend called by phone and announced that they would come to the house of Mike’s parents. He said that Julia his former girlfriend would come also. To add, Jane the new girlfriend of Sam should also come. So, they came all three to make the invitation to the anniversary party more obliging to Mike. The fun of the holidays in the country was excellent and Mike went to Abakan with a good state of his heart and soul. What it was for if to throw away the rhetoric of the occasion in question? Sure it was for a chance to dance with Tina, the love and dream of Mike. They said she was married. Still, a dance with her was quite admissible.
Mike and Julia, the native girl who was a passion of Sam in the past, arrived to the restaurant on the car of Natalie, the other student of Mike’s group on the faculty. When they got out Tina was near the entrance with a bunch of the former students. She smiled as she had often done in the university days. She always seemed to be light hearted. That was the general impression of her.
They drank, pronounced toasts (Mike pronounced three), danced. Once when they showed slides, Tina put her chin on Mike’s shoulder. On her question what Mike was occupied with he said he was a kind of writer now and told the whole story of the pills of the vaccines he had eaten for the sake of the health of the girls (to understand for Tina also). After some diplomatic pause Mike invited Tina for a dance. It was already after Mike had played a gangster on his booze loose having drunk a lot of strong tea which in the mixture with the pills he took made him real drunken. Maybe, it had been also his merry mood. He had already enough time to quarrel with a boy who had observed that Mike had behaved as though he had just left the jail and was about to spend his loot of the deal he had passed the term for.
‘That’s a fast song.’ Tina observed.
‘All the same, we will dance slowly.’ Mike announced, then informed after some time. ‘You know, Tina, I’m a killer. A hired murderer. I kill people.’
‘But, it’s wrong Michael. The God gave them the life and you cannot take it away from them.’ Tina said without any surprise at the confession.
‘But, I had to defend the honor of my mom… And, once they wanted to kill a girl in the kindergarten. Her father had played her off in cards, he was a thief in law and they wanted to film a movie and cut her throat in the end.’ Mike narrated.
‘But, you could phone the police.’ Tina said in a teaching intonation as though she talked with a small boy.
‘No, they bought all. Her mother tried to inform the police but in vain. So, I killed fifteen people with a razor blade.’ Mike boasted.
‘Never do such things in the future, Mike.’ Tina advised.
The slow dance ended after two fast songs when Mike said it was enough. Then, he felt remorse that everybody would think he was a gangster. He already said at the table that he had an order and had to shoot down a pack of rivals again on an appointment. He did it in a way to be heard by many.
‘When, it will be?’ asked calmly Matthew, a native boy, who had worked in the General Attorney Office before got a job in the local district administration.
‘Not all at once, Mathew.’ Mike just said.
Then, Mike felt he had to come in the hall where Tina gossiped with her girlfriend and explain himself. He went to the hall.
‘You know, Tina. I said it to you the wrong way. I’m not a criminal. I committed it when I was below the penal responsibility age. And, as for that case it will be a self-defense. So, I’m not a criminal. And, to say more, Tina, I loved you in the university. Simply, I knew about all that trouble in my life ahead, otherwise I’d say my word in the auction in the respect of you, to boost your personal price.’ He said.
‘Do not say nonsense, Mike.’ Tina said.
‘Yea, sure I killed them all fifteen people when I was six years old.’ Mike affirmed.
‘Do not lie!’ Tina cried out not able to cope with her feelings.
‘Go away!’ Added her girlfriend, who was in the past the wife of a man older than her that had passed a term in the jail.
Mike went away. He sat at his place of the table and ate at the advice of his friends. He met the eyes of Tina. She looked with pain and love. After some time, the party was over.
On his way home by the bus, Mike had to wait for some time for the driver to be interrogated by the policemen. They said it was for the sake of the minor car accident on his way to the city. The microbus had a small dent. Most probably, it was an artificial car accident. They talked and talked with the driver who was obstinate not to agree at the conditions of the policemen. They did the entire thing like that when it was necessary to do some serious business. Maybe, they wanted to cast the drugs to the bag of some passenger?
‘It looks like they catch the bandits.’ Mike said.
‘The bandits do not ride on the buses.’ A man commented being strongly disappointed because of something.
‘If for me, I’ve got no money.’ Mike said. ‘I’ve invested all.’
Surely, somebody sneaked on someone to the police and was ready to give affidavit.
‘Tina, the foolish girl.’ Mike pronounced.


What is the verity?

Watched porno movies always had a positive effect on Michael’s mind. After he watched it he had a more positive attitude to the fornication including that one through which the girls he loved had gone as he was sure sometimes. Mike’s mind got calmer because of this acceptance of the fornication by the attractiveness of the scenes in the porno movies. He associated himself with that guy in the movie that had so easy handle of the porno actress on the screen.
That time it was the same. Mike did not have a woman for more than a year partly due to the stigma of the mentally sick person and partly to the fact that he loved young Mary from the church of the Witnesses of Jehovah. The girl was a virgin, not of the age of marriage. And, it was necessary to wait to have a sure play with her. To have temporary sexual relations in the meantime was not a matter of good manners. So, Mike kept faithful to his love.
But, the watched porno scenes changed his mind. He stopped believing in the fact that his women kept faith to him also and stayed lesbians. Though he had good evidence to believe it. His common sense passed him into quite other reality. He recalled when he had sat on a border of the asphalt road that time in his childhood when he was four years old. He had known he had been almost through the first stage of his sickness. His blood had been ready to vaccinate the girls. It had been a bargain. Mike had known that to be honest he should offer that the girls vaccinated were honest with him. And, some of them should keep honest, not to allow a conflict of antibodies. Those among most sick. But, deep in his heart Mike had hoped that the girls and women would fornicate and make sick the humanity with those sicknesses which Mike had been full of. To revenge for his spoiled life of an ordinary way and that attack on his family. In such a way, he would have been even more valuable in the end of the sickness. His children would be more acceptable to the society as healthy sources of immunity against those sicknesses. And, to boot, Mike would have gotten a revenge and prove that all girls had been harlots and he himself only a saint boy. However, it had been painful that those girls whom he had returned to the healthy life and helped from the option of a professional whore career would have sexual relations with other boys. So, it had been a dilemma for Mike, the answer on which had been left to the girls and women in his life. Now, Mike felt the same after he had watched a porno episode on the mobile phone of his friend. Were his beloved ones more like those porno actresses on the screen? Or, they were saint virgins? What is the verity?

Course

The girls surrounded Mike and teased, ‘But, they vaccinated Eugene the Nightingale with our blood, of all of us. He will take us instead of you, and we will negotiate a better way with him than with you.’
‘It turned bad for Wallace and it will turn bad for your Eugene also,’ Mike said with assurance of his righteousness.
‘But, it’s easier for him to get over the sickness and we will even fast for him that he was healthier to be our husband. And, he would give us the freedom.’ The girls argued.
‘That’s your choice if he has a chance,’ Mike simply said…
Then, Mike thought why they in the KGB created all that doubles in the project, Wallace and Eugene. Mike was sure that the perfidy would be punished. It was so with Wallace and it would be so with Eugene, no matter that they vaccinated the second boy not with his blood but with the cocktail made from the blood of the girls. They said to Mike that this world was a world of competition. Then, when Mike saw Eugene in the crazy house when he himself was almost healed, Eugene was better than Wallace. Wallace hardly could say anything filled with much of the sense after the sickness. Eugene showed the remnants of the reason. Still, he understood it too late that it was necessary to fast before fully sick and provoke the sickness. Eugene was the model of what should happen to the men that slept with the vaccinated girls and those born from them in the following generations provided for their kids were not crossbred with Mike’s children. So, to make the program filled with the sense Mike should take some of the girls vaccinated with his blood to give birth to many kids to pass the immunity to the other girls among vaccinated by the intermarriages. Otherwise, they would get just the damage after they paid not Mike for the benefits. The logic was simple. Mike had eaten the pills with the military vaccines. Thus, he got infected with the slow way genetically modified sorts of many sicknesses: syphilis, hepatitis and other. It had been when he had been four years old. But, he had fasted of what he could fast: the food, water, defication, urination and sleep. He produced the antibodies and immunity. Thus, when they vaccinated the girls with his blood they received the immunity against their hereditary sicknesses. But, they got contaminated with those microbes Mike had had no immunity for when they had vaccinated the girls with his blood. He did not terminate the microbes in his blood completely. It ought to be the job of his sons. But still, he got more antibodies and immunity in the process of the fasting of sex, food and sleep during many years. Thus, his blood could be used for the further vaccinations. Mike was sure it was so when he gave his blood for the tests in the crazy house and many times in the polyclinic when he had been afraid Julia could have infected him. All the same, only he should marry many girls among those that had been vaccinated to give the birth for their children. It should be so because he had the immunity as the progenitor to give birth to the healthy kids and fight to an end the hereditary sicknesses of the girls, now the adult women. The more so, he had the immunity against the other sicknesses that got into the blood of the girls as a side-effect due Mike had eaten the pills with other weakened viruses and bacteria such as cholera, pest and the stuff like it. So, he only ought to marry those girls for them not to contaminate the other people. But, the vaccinated girls numbered hundreds of thousands if not more. So, to prevent the damage to add to the benefits Mike should give birth to the boys and girls that would marry those kids that were given birth by the other vaccinated girls. Then, the circle would lock on the right way. Otherwise, there would be a lot of trouble.

Easy words

Michael always had an idea in his head that he should get rid of his girlfriend Julia. As it turned out later it was mainly the latent policy of Julia that led them to go apart. She tested Mike’s love too hard. She told the tales about her past sins of the free love that hardly could keep any water at all. Then, she was divorced, no matter had she slept with her husband or not. So, when Mike turned a Christian of a very “extremist” style, he got an excuse for the breach of morality that leaving Julia presumed. It was that according to the scriptures that he could not marry a divorced woman. So, he did not have much of scruples at repeating now and then that he would leave Julia.
If to take it seriously he mentioned that idea of his a pair of times, if not to count the talks in the family circle. Once, it was when they were invited to the home of his cousin Ann where his sister Jane was also present. It made a sharp contrast with what good words the women said about the character of Julia. Julia did not object or joke but just kept her silence. Mike did not ponder much on whether he hurt Julia or not. The second time it was when they visited the home of a medical nurse, the acquaintance of Mike’s brother Nick. She was a boisterous woman in a general way but reacted calmly to that statement accounting it to Mike’s exaltation for the doctrine of Christianity. She just joked a bit about it. Julia again kept silence that time.
Michael was crazy about the idea of finding a virgin, not supposing that Julia could be a virgin also. It was because Mike deemed himself to be a virgin also before he met Julia. However, as he recalled afterwards he had not been a virgin. He had three sexual contacts even before he matured completely. He was so precocious because he wanted to know a woman before he reached the critical age when the abstinence from sexual life might kill him. But, on the other hand, he should deem himself a virgin to have a complex and forbear of sex. It was because he had eaten those pills with army vaccines to save his father and the girls he loved.
A pair of times, it looked like a rape. Still, Mike was declared not guilty by the common sense of public opinion. All the times, he did it with a very strong smoking of ganja before or after the sexual act. So, he did not remember it even a pair of days. A pair of times more, Mike had the apprehensions that he had had sex also according to what he recalled many years after. It was connected with even more ganja smoking and blood spill. It was the pathologic inebriation. So, Mike was not a virgin, but Julia most probably was having been completely pink before she met him. Those words were easy, but it was hard when Julia left Mike because he did not work but studied and said without end that he would take more women for a harem.


Dilemma

Michael badly wanted a woman. He felt lonely when he would lie up in his bedroom on the second floor of his parents’ house. He needed a woman to live a life of a full value. Thus, he always thought about Mary. The experience with Julia when he had been left because he had studied instead of working on a regular job made Mike precautious about planning his future advances to Mary. The fact that Mike’s beginning of the writer and poet career had cost him the relations with Julia made him hesitate as to the possibility to start a courtship with Mary.
Once, Mike saw Mary with her mom as seemed to always be so when she was outdoors. She specially turned around to look at Mike once more. She charmingly smiled to show her sympathy. But, the next time when he saw her she was occupied with painting the windowsills in her college. She kept serious and even grim when she looked at Mike. Had he overexploited her patience with not starting the courtship just because of the first failure of the unprepared assail? Who knows? Still, he wanted to fill himself with courage and cheekiness to begin to visit the church of the Jehovah Witnesses as a first step to the possible love affair with Mary. All in all, Mike was honest and wanted to marry.

Vendor

She was a vendor in a shop where Mike bought the food. First, Mike did not bring his attention upon her. He just noticed she was pretty and it was all. He saw she sympathized with him. She would get intimidated in his presence and one time even went away from the hall when Mike entered the shop and went up to the counter. Maybe, she was not able to keep herself calm in his presence. Maybe, she even wept.
All he heard was the other vendor ask her with the attentive care, ‘What’s up? What happened?’
Mike knew that at least she was not against dating him. Maybe, she even fell in love with him. But, he was afraid he was not first with her and the same story as with Julia would begin. However, he was more tolerant because recalled that even Julia was not his first woman. He began his sexual life early. He endeavored to earn it and so with the success. It was in the presence of the necessity to forbear of the sex in the future to provoke and heal the sicknesses he was infected with. It sounded strangely but he hurried to forget about his early love stories to count himself a virgin and suffer in fasting. That is why he could accept that pretty girl who to a more attentive look turned out to be very beautiful. It was the first time when a beautiful girl fell in love with Mike seriously and was not ashamed to show it. Still, Mike did not have a steady full time job and he was afraid to start an acquaintance, friendship or courtship. Maybe, she even did not know he was a schizophrenic according to the medical papers, though he decided not to continue to fast. He felt in was enough for his age. And, the other reason was that he did not see that girl in his visions of the future life of his like it was with Mary. And, Mary was surely a virgin. Whether Mike did not earn the love of a virgin, in the end? To boot, he already advertised his intention to marry Mary, to add. Mike asked the advice of his friend Jack, who lived in Saint Petersburg, by the mobile phone. He wrote that it was better not to run after the younger girl but to get into an affair that seemed to be more mutual. A pair of times, he even came to the shop to invite her to a date but it was not her shift and she was absent. Mike thought it was the fate. Her boldness in showing her feelings did bring about the apprehensions that she was not the fruit of the first freshness. And, she might be married. Mike was afraid to get into a stupid situation if it was so. Finally, he decided to get a job, ask the friendship from Mary and if refused to come and start a sure love affair with that vendor. However, he was lost before a broken trough when Mary continued to show her disregard for him and the vendor disappeared from the shop. Maybe, she changed the place of the job. Mike was cheated by the life and himself once more. Still, he condoled himself with the philosophy that there were many pretty girls but only the fate could tie him with any of them. All the same, it was one more plus in his life that made him stop suffering and restore the hope. He began to be liked by the girls. But, he was afraid it was a mistake and the girl did not know the whole truth about him.


Disappointment

Mike got disappointed in the church and Mary. How it turned out that way? Mike did not visit the church much time because Mary behaved in a way to show that Mike was not a wanted friend and a romance was not possible. But, after all, Mike decided to venture his fate again. He came into the new building of the Witnesses of Jehovah. He sat on a bench, but then saw his friend Vladimir and went over to his bench. It turned out that Mary also sat on the same bench but passed over her belongings when she saw Mike come over. Then, she made up to the boys of the church. Mike understood he was not wished to start a courtship. The more so, in a fresh view, Mary was not so beautiful. She was not homely, but simple.
Mike knew that he was rejected no matter if he paid with his money or just blood. It seemed that he suffered in vain. He would even forget Mary at all if not for his karma and the dreams of the future in which he saw Mary as his wife. Those dreams were checked by the “deja vu” of his presence in the church which was the projection of his past dreams.
What he wanted now? He wanted to meet a girl that would keep the society to him no matter that he did write his short stories and did not work. Mary proved she was not the ideal of Christianity. She would not accept Mike’s beneficial acts to the Lord as a clearing of her own love as a maidservant of the Almighty. She knew that Mike caused the benefits to the real people. As for herself, she could not accept Mike in the condition that he had paid so much to Julia and was not ready to pay herself.
What Mike wanted now? He did not want any harem. He wanted just a wife and maybe a mistress if he would be successful, which was a matter of course it seemed. How Mike had seen his future just before? He knew that it would be right if the girls kept their virginity for him and would marry him all. At least those he knew that he would bear the kids from with immunity that would marry afterwards the kids from the other vaccinated girls to make the circle lock up. Then, no new AIDS would result. In such a case, his sons would also forbear from sex for some time and have the harems. But now, all seemed not to be that way. The new plague crept because the girls were avid for their own selves in the condition when Mike already paid for harem and could afford it.
What Mike wanted to do now was to write his story to excuse himself from the sickness that would follow. In the conditions, when he himself made all to acquire the immunity and had it after the years of sickness based on sexual forbearance or fasting as the eternal source of forgiving the sins and taking off the curses by the God. He wanted that the public knew the truth.
All he wanted was to trade in natural ash fertilizers, “coca tea” and write about his girls to get the profit to cover his ungrateful investment in those girls. He wanted a name to justify his business. He needed it also because he risked his life for the intelligence office very much two or three times as he did not to remember about himself because he had smoked too much of ganja but had heard the people to say about that. He did it with the guns and knifes in hands. So, he had the services rendered to his country to try to start a business and political career notwithstanding his former sickness and its rudiments. Which would get away only after some more time of safeguarding oneself from the overstraining and by taking the medicines which were very effective in his case because his sickness was an artificial one in some sense.
On those grounds, his friend Vitally tried to acquaint him with Anastasia, a pretty girl of twenty-two. An appointment got on the agenda of the day but then all went warped up by the damp atmosphere of the doubt. Any way, Mike felt himself responsible for all that affair even if the girls made it wrong. It was he who had eaten the pills with the army vaccines against the bacteriological war and started the whole affair. He surely gave them the days of grace, to the girls and the other part of the world. He was not guilty that the percents got too high because the girls did not observe the natural conditions of the affair. The nature and blood could not be cheated. And, he hardly could be called guilty because the hundred of millions and billions should pay now for the benefits the hundreds of thousands had received in the past. It might have been a good vengeance to the humanity for his spoiled life, still Michael wanted the peace and the acquittal from the faults he had not committed.
What was his last talk with the KGB office? They took him from the school from the lesson of the geometry when he was thirteen. The head of the local department asked if Mike continued to scare the other boys and girls in the school with the tales about the soldiers that had died in the laboratories. Mike hardly remembered the matter and said that not. Then, the officer demanded if Mike was ready to get to the crazy house. Mike asked if it was necessary. The man got angry because of the joke. He said that his father was guilty on account he had slept with the wife of a regional Communist party secretary and all Mike should do was to pay the family debts. Mike said he was ready, getting the matter from deep in his heart. The fat man said it was the project connected with the bacteriological warfare and that was the only reason they would need his blood in the future. The officer sternly said that Mike should anticipate no profit of it. So, his personal account was cancelled? Maybe. In a word, nobody wanted to pay Mike for his services of suffering and fasting. All was in vain? In the moment, Mike did not think much on that. All he wanted was to survive.
As for the girls, they were each in a throng among those that were the same. So, the instinct of the crowd had told them to make benefit on Mike’s sincerity in a common effort. Of course, there was a discount that Julia, for example, needed a first pregnancy for her child to die but for the sickness to be provoked and healed. But, Julia killed the child of Mike the same as she had killed the child of Jack. It was the truth, while in his delirium he hoped that in both cases it was his seed. And, that Julia might not carry the baby in the womb the full term of pregnancy as the side effect of her sickness. It was to make it necessary for special medical care of which Mike remembered himself to have bargained with the KGB officers and recalled some women that had wanted to adopt such children. Julia had said that the first baby had been taken off her when still alive. Still, most probably, it was the matters of his feverish mind and not the reality.
By her tales of sexual experience, Julia had made it impossible for Mike to brook living with her. Of course, it could be said that she had done it to get the suspicion off her mother. To create an illusion that she was infected herself. Still, it made not the matter easier for Mike.
And, Mike hoped that the Christian girl Mary would save him from all that as he had probably saved her with his blood one day in the past. But she rejected him for now.


Another kind of truth

There was another kind of the truth in the whole story of Mike’s life. Really, he was not that kind of the benefactor he wanted to see himself in his own eyes and in the eyes of the people around him. What he did? He ate the pills with the microbes, the strong vaccines that would have been used otherwise only in the case of a bacteriological war. Some said Mike was a cheater to say he had eaten up all the pills from the small red plastic box with the military star. No matter how it was really, Mike did not remember. All that could be known truly was that he knew his norm. He made the optimal concentration of the microbes in his blood and weakened them when he ate the poison for hunting foxes. Then, his blood was passed over to the girls and boys already when he was four years old. Little time from the moment he had eaten the pills passed. So, he passed over little of immunity. Of course, when he was ten years old he came through being belabored for the only purpose that his blood should be filled with the worked out adrenaline and other hormones. Till that time, he tried to fast of what his age could allow. But, even then he passed little of the immunity and much of the microbes. So, the girls had to work out the immunity themselves or find a father for their children with the immunity in the future. It could be anybody lucky enough. They vaccinated the girls sick with the hereditary sicknesses as well as Mike knew. It was because they would live till rather aged before able to give birth to a child. That is why they would produce the antibodies themselves and take it from the male by the sexual relations and bearing the kids to the progenitors with a good immunity. So, really, they benefited little of Mike. In the case with Benedicta when the vaccine really helped her as was alleged, Mike was not slow in taking the payment and she was not slow to pay. The same as with the other girls if it was true that Mike raped them when he took them hostage when he was fourteen as some people hinted. So, the main purpose was truly to produce the immunity for the bacteriological weaponry or the strong infectious sicknesses. In that global task, Mike hardly was the only one who produced the immunity. The girls and some boys also produced. But, as Mike knew after the bad story with Wallace and Eugene, they decided to quit vaccinating the boys and vaccinated the girls only. They hoped the girls would transfer the microbes in a sure and slow way by communicating with the boys and other girls and through the sexual relations in the future. That is why the girls should be the harlots in the Biblical sense of that word by their definition. Their ability to participate in that global activity was brought to the existence mostly by their parents who had been able to give birth to them though their mothers had been sick. It testified the girls already had the good average immunity status against other sicknesses when they were born. The girls were chosen by the archives of the intelligence office that had checked before how the parents of the girls, mostly fathers, reacted to the vaccinations in the army and in the civil life. Mike himself was able to live through that because his grand-grandfather Nicolas and his father Jack had come though the vaccinations in the army. So, it was sure that the parents of those girls were given the good jobs and flats only because they had the good immunity for their daughters to be vaccinated with the weakened microbes. It was for those girls to be even sicker and produce the immunity and the every day communication kind of the vaccination to the rest of the nation and humankind. Mike recalled how he anointed the future Russian oligarchs and State officials. Why they had known those young men would be big businessmen? It was because they were vaccinated and would carry the burden of the health of the nation. That is why they would be compensated for that to give them a chance to have many kids at least from one wife. There was no cheat or any occasional people. It was a too serious matter to play pranks. That is why the girls were free in their choice of the males and mates. They owed little to Mike. All Mike could count on was the future when he would have a good immunity after the sexual forbearance, to give birth to the kids from the sick girls who had become even sicker with the vaccination of his blood.

Double way

One day, Mike happened to be with his friend in a mobile phones shop to buy a payment card to credit his mobile phone account. Beyond the counter he saw a girl that resembled Mary very much. He continued to think about Mary only because he saw her in his visions of the future. But, now that girl looked much like her. Maybe, it even was his future wife instead of Mary from the church of Jehovah’s witnesses. Or else, it was Mary herself provided for she had found a job as a vendor. Mike looked at the badge on the chest of the girl but it was partly covered with the coat she kept on her shoulders. The first letter of her name was ‘l’. It was little probable that Mary had taken a pseudonym. And, the girl a bit differed from Mary. It put under a doubt Mike’s idea that Mary was surely his future wife.


Daughters

Mike knew that he had arranged to have the daughters with the American woman and a girl that had wanted to bear Mike a kid but had not wanted to be in his harem. About the intention of the last girl Mike knew from the KGB after the American woman had consented to bear the daughter to Mike.
‘We’ve talked with the girls and they said that it’s bad that the American woman wants to bear you a child and no Russian girl does do the same. So, we found a good girl. Her father was a good man and he perished abroad. He had the merits before the fatherland. She wants a four-room flat in Abakan for her and her daughter. But, she wants that you should earn it yourself from your author fees. You accept?’ The officer demanded.
Mike accepted that idea. Then, after many years, when he was an adult he had a chance to meet that girl and he saw a girl that resembled him very much. He believed it was his daughter. He also had a chance to see in the newspaper the photo of his other daughter. He put the photo in the newspaper into the drawer in his bedroom and would pull the drawer open now and then and look at the photo to see more and more features that showed it was his daughter. Sometimes, he clearly saw how much she looked like him. Sometimes, he saw that she looked like his mother, aunt, brother, grandmother but he could not see at such moments the resemblance of the little girl to him. Sometimes, he became the victim of the doubts because there was no open way for the girls to be conceived. Still, he believed he was not cheated. So much there was at stake.

Bruise

The American woman asked Mike if he would beat her if they would live together. She said she would do a thing that seemed to be provocative to Mike.
‘I’ll slap you upon the cheek with the palm of my hand for that but I will not beat you,’ Mike said.
‘Then, I will paint a bruise under my eye for it to look like you hit me.’ She said.
After that, Mike saw in his dreams how it would happen… Mike slapped the American woman on her cheek because she had done a thing that insulted Mike. She painted a bruise under her eye with cosmetic colors for it to look like Mike had hit her. She showed herself in the public with that false bruise putting on the black spectacles that still allowed for the bruise to be seen. The paparazzi photographed her with that bruise. But, after some time during the same day, a big politician invited Mike to a party in his house along with his wives. So, the American woman washed off the false bruise. The way it was, that invitation had been the condition of saving Mike’s reputation as it had been stipulated in the talk in that summer day of Mike’s childhood.

Millionaire

It was hard for Mike to accept the idea that he would pay for the love of Julia so much. He had to help her family acquire a fortune. Of course, her parents would work themselves but it was Mike who had to make the scores settle for her mother to get a good job that would pay much more than average wages. Then, Mike would suffer much. He not only paid beforehand so much but he also would have to foot the bills for Julia when she would be his wife. They said Mike’s blood had not helped her much. Still, it was not his fault. But, they imputed it to him. The way the things stood Mike would have to provide for Julia’s happiness with the other boys. Mike hardly could understand how the girls he had paid for might live with the other boys while he would suffer that they could have the kids and not become the whores. He tried to speak with the officers in the KGB but they said that it was Mike’s own business and the personal life of the girls involved into the affair. Of course, Mike’s blood was a vaccination and the girls became kind of restricted in their future choice because it would be better for Mike to be the father of their kids. And, also their kids would have to make following steps for the vaccination to turn a complete immunity. All the same, Mike made much for those girls and their children, no matter whom would be their kids’ father to be needed by the society. The girls tried to explain to Mike that they would stay lesbian and keep faith to him, but in the same time they said that they would lose their virginity and live their youth with the other boys. The girls were beautiful and maybe some boys and young men would also want to invest in them. But, those boys would not suffer the same as Mike. When the whole affair was brought to the monetary question, it made little sense for Mike. He would be lonely for almost his whole youth, several years, pay much beforehand, suffer and have to pay for the girls when they would be his wives and it seemed the fun was not worth it. It would be much better to be healthy and live a free life with one woman or change the sexual partners like the other people did. It seemed to be little justified to suffer, be lonely, work as much as it was necessary for a harem to exist and have all that burden on the shoulders. Mike would never accept that himself. He was forced into it. And, the whole affair had arisen because such girls needed the vaccine. Of course, the KGB said him in the end that it was just a project connected with the defense against the bacteriological weaponry and that he should anticipate nothing. But, then why he had paid to the girls?
Sometimes, the reason made Mike understand that the girls had a right for a free life no matter how much Mike had sacrificed for them. But, sometimes it seemed to Mike to be sacrilegious for the girls to live the way they would live. They belonged to the society and society pressed upon Mike to sacrifice his health and happiness to it, like Mike owed something to it.
But, then the reason prevailed and he began to feel that it was not right that Julia would be his concubine along with the rest of the girls if he earned enough money. Of course, Julia was paid more than the other girls were, for the three years of common life when Mike would not work but study and be sick. But, because the only reason why Mike had accepted to provide the property for the girls was that it would belong to his children in the end, Mike knew he would pay her less afterwards.
Then, they said that Julia had found a fiancé, a millionaire from the West who would stand up for her rights as a free emancipated woman. It was strange for Mike. He felt happy that somebody wanted to invest in Julia much even if it was just not for the property but for a good life. He felt relieved somebody wanted to help Julia be happy and he did not feel the remorse that Julia would be equal to his other concubines. Provided for that she would share his sorrows for three years and would not be his legal wife like she had offered to him on condition that she would be faithful to Mike for his whole life. Mike avoided that sacrifice because he knew it would be hard for them to live over Julia’s own sickness that needed the sacrifice of miscarriages. He knew it would be too hard for her to live so much with him in his sorrows or wait for him when he would be healed. It meant he would not have been able to have as many girls as wanted to be his concubines in his harem because Julia would have earned to be the only wife of him for the whole life. He spared her lest she would suffer too much for a girl. It seemed that the life itself left him no other way but to accept the girls’ conditions. Mike should come through the pain alone and share the profits with as many girls as would please the life in his harem after coming through their own sicknesses. It seemed to be right. But, the girls chose Julia to help Mike get out of his sickness and recover and it cost more than money could pay. That is why Mike was even happy that he could allow Julia to feel she was not more obligated than the other girls.
He spoke with that millionaire when he met him near the restaurant. Mike said he was not against the idea that Julia would pass some time out of his harem with a rich husband. The millionaire was a young boy of about fifteen. Mike even respected him for his wish to make Julia happier. Then, he saw in his dreams the way it would happen…
Mike was invited along with his wives to the party in the house of a big American politician. There he saw that Julia seriously flirted with an aged man. After the party Mike punished Julia for that with few strokes of his belt upon her ass.
When she got out of the shower in the underwear only, her small son asked why the bruise on her buttock did let down a few streams of paint.
‘Hiss, my little son. Do not say anybody about that.’ She warned.


Gunfire

‘Mike, you showed you are good with the knife, but we would like to see how good you are with a pistol. I do not say about the time when you will shoot under the influence of the drugs when you will not remember anything afterwards. You say you thought of how you will make all that in your dreams about the future and that is not really what we say to be brave. Of course, you will feel the strong fear after you will recall about your shooting when you will be under the drugs afterwards, but you will know you are alive. But, we’d like to look how you keep yourself during a sober gunfire.’ The KGB officer said at Mike’s tale about the people who made a gunfire appointment for him that should take place after many years for Mike to compete in shooting with their sons and other younger people.
‘But, it’s almost the same. I’ve already said that I will kill them and how and I saw it in my dreams. I was better in the argument.’ Mike explained.
‘It’s hard to lead you the wrong way,’ the officer laughed. ‘Still, we will back you up for them to be not playful too much. For it to be a more sure deal. That’s for your future authority as a politician among the voters.’
Mike knew how it all would happen… To that time he was already an acknowledged thief-in-law. It was arranged for him to be a thief-in-law not to pay the tribute to the other gangsters. Though, Mike did not take much part in the affairs of the mob. First, a pair of young men came to his home and threatened asking the money.
‘I’m the God’s prophet and instead of paying you the money I may prophesy about your future,’ Mike said. ‘One of you will die and not live the full day of tomorrow.’
‘Why?’ the young men asked.
‘Because one of you will kill the other one, or else you both will die,’ Mike said to solve the matter.
Then, the gangsters tried to kidnap his daughter. Mike said to his son Jo from Benedicta that he should look after his younger sister.
‘Remember, you should act as a dog with a bear as something happens,’ Mike warned.
Then, when three young men tried to kidnap his daughter from Benedicta, her son Jo hindered them for Mike to arrive at the right moment on his car to the school yard. He was with a gun to wound and tackle down with the handcuffs them all to pass them over to the police.
Then, the main people came on three cars to Mike’s home. Mike leaned on the hood of his car. He had a gun and an armored jacket. The three main shooters with the guns got out of the last car. A guy with the machinegun opened the door and sat on the front seat. They said about their intention to kill his daughter from Benedicta, whom they deemed responsible that they had been vaccinated with Mike’s blood because Benedicta had been healed by it. It was a parole for starting the gunfire because if Mike had not shot they would have shot him themselves. Mike shot and killed the three gangsters with the guns shooting to their foreheads because they had on the armored jackets. Mike himself got only two bullets into his trunk protected by the armored jacket. Then, the guy with the machinegun tried to get out of the car to shoot but Mike killed him and made few steps forward to take the machinegun and kill or wound the rest of the gangsters who sat in the first two cars. Then, Mike got really mad and tried to burn the first four gangsters in the rear car. At that moment, he got arrested by the police that had been called by his wife. They had promised him in his childhood he would be let free because it would be qualified as the self-defense. He also paid a compensation to the mothers of the gangsters killed and wounded by him.
Then, they tried to kidnap him in Moscow on a day Mike had known beforehand even in his childhood and informed the intelligence office about it. They made Mike sit into a car and threatened that he would disappear without any news about him afterwards. But, they disappeared that way themselves when the special forces detachment blocked the car and arrested them.

Testament

When Mike was a middle-aged man, he told to his small daughters that he should be laid in the armored glass sarcophagus in his personal museum in the German town Gottenheim. When he had been a kid himself his own grandfather Peter had asked him that it should be Gottenheim where his body would be laid. It had been because its residents had been very kind to his granddad Peter when he had been in the German captivity. It would be for the harlots and gangsters to demand him to solicit the providence for the mercy towards them like he would be a saint.


Hurricane

Mike prophesied about a great wind that should happen about the time his children would study in college. He would make the armored glass in his brick house for the hurricane not to break the windows. Then, he had a plan how to make his kids get collected all together in his home. His son Jo from Benedicta should lose twenty thousand dollars in a card game for a blond beautiful girl as a contrary stake. Of course, it would be a fine paid for the girl as his future wife. Still, it would be considered by the family as a threat to its members because the Mafia would come and ask for the debt…
The emissary of the Mafia came with his men to ask for a debt of twenty thousand dollars Jo had lost in his game. The girl that had been put at stake had seen that Jo had a winning combination in the poker game, but had changed more and lost. It was to appreciate her beauty and future love. So, the interests of his son were hedged. The emissary left his men outside and came to Mike’s cabinet. He asked for a debt. Mike said that he wanted to try and play more to get the money back. It was to psychologically support Jo. He offered a thousandth of his life, which meant property, money and future assistance as a stake for each half of the sum of twenty thousand dollars. But, he also lost.
Still, he needed that also to help his son Jo to begin to forbear of sex.
‘A week of complete forbearance!’ Mike said in disappointment.
Jo was not alone as his son to begin to forbear. Still, he rebuked his father much for his own fate. Especially, he criticized Mike for the fate of his mother, which seemed to be unhappy to him. His mother supported him.
‘Jo, if not for me, she would get rotten in the age of fourteen,’ Mike said.
‘It’s the truth, mother?’ Jo asked of Benedicta.
‘Yea,’ she said and began to weep.
So, Jo began to fast. His mother called Mike ‘crazy’ in Italian.
Then, all the family members that could come came into the house to stay over the problems with the Mafia Jo got in. Then, Mike’s wives laughed that he had prophesied about a wind but the weather was fine.
‘So, you said there should be the wind. Where’s your great wind?’ His younger American wife for whose son John Mike also had prophesied to be a future USA president asked.
Then, Jo and John looked into the computer connected to the web on the weather picture produced by a satellite. Suddenly, they saw in a point on the picture of the earth the atmosphere pressure began to fall drastically. On the picture they saw many other strong cyclones to appear simultaneously. They began to warn the authorities by the mobile liaison and ordinary phone. The wives began to phone to as many people as possible. They began to close up the windows and doors collecting the kids that played on the street. For the reason of that hurricane Mike bought much of food in reserve for the family to live long after the hurricane before the damage to the world economy would be restored. When the wind began to blow the wives and his daughter the maidens began to pray in the sermon hall. Mike had made the fireplaces in almost each room of his big house. It was partly for the draft to equalize the pressure of the air in the house and outside for the windows not to blow up and doors not to break. During the hurricane some heavy block of concrete broke a window on one of the floors, and the system of drafts equalized the air pressure in and out even more. At that time, Mike sat in his cabinet and wrote something in his notebook by the light was produced by an engine in the cellar.
Next day, a procession with the icons and cherubims came by the street to Mike’s house. It was right the way he had prophesied in his childhood when a boy had tried to curse him and had said that a throng with the forks and scythes might have come to Mike’s house to lynch him. It was because Mike had invested into the factories producing the glass and materials for the roofs to be covered. For which investment Mike had been criticized much by his wives.
‘We’ve found specially for you the new glass for the icon for you to kiss it,’ said the chief of the procession with the tears on his eyes.
The man rubbed with the sleeve of his coat the tears off the glass. Mike kissed the icon. Thus, his prophecy of a huge hurricane came true.

Julia’s daughter

In a certain day, Mike got reconciled with the idea that he paid for Julia and other girls so much. If to count it for Julia by the prices of the call girls’ services with a wholesale discount, it was an equitable bargain. And, Julia would live with Mike when he would be sick and would not work but study. She would share the shame of Mike’s sickness and stay patient for all his words of blame. The fact that she was sick herself was not serious because it was normal for the pay women. And, every woman is a pay woman. Simply, Julia would have a temporal status. As to the other girls, Mike should compensate them for the responsibility they would feel knowing that a man who had loved them or loved went crazy of his feeling. Still, they said that they even would press on the girls to become Mike's wives if he would earn enough money, which would be natural due the vaccine cost the money and he also invented many things for the new technical solutions in the industry. So, it was a good bargain. Simply, Mike should consider it as a business, not a personal affair. And, for Mike to be lonely for some time after he would part with Julia was not just the matter of the money absence. They made him understand that he should stay alone not only to write the book about his life but also to have enough rest after it to get healed of his metabolism sickness based on the long years of sexual forbearance. Which would not be possible if he had a wife or girl. For example, Mike persuaded the KGB officer to kill the man that had insulted him much with the expense of thirty millions dollars worth of polonium. Mike said it was his share from the high prices on the oil and gas the USA and other West would give to Russia and Arab countries for solving the problem with the personnel of the twin towers and some other organizations. Mike did not want that money to pay for his women and children. He did not want to live on the money of the price of the blood of the other people. He said to the KGB officer he wanted to live on the price of his own blood and work for his family and harem if he would have one. So, he understood his fate and was calm. And, also he was so easy in understanding because he knew that his daughter from Julia would meet the similar problems due she would need a man that would work out the immunity for her kids. It was quite possible that her husband would also demand a right for a second wife for his sexual forbearance and suffering. So, Mike knew he was kind of guilty before his daughter. It was partly because his blood had not helped Julia much, partly because he had begun the whole affair with the vaccination. This way Mike saw how it would happen in the future…
On the conference of Christians Mike was present along with his family and numerate kids. They said to him that his sons made a quarrel with a boy from another country. Mike went out of the hall and saw his sons to begin with the eldest and to end with the youngest made a kind of fight with a boy. Mike went up to them and said them leave the place. Then, he gave him his handkerchief for the boy to rub the blood off his face. He knew it was because of his daughter from Julia. They talked some and Mike promised that the boy and his wife would be resurrected (that is clonned) if he would behave as a true Christian.
Then, many years afterwards, Julia’s daughter was offered a marriage from that young man from another country. Mike asked for a rather small fine. Still, it was a fine. Julia’s daughter was very much offended for her mother’s behavior in the past. She knew Mike paid a good fine for her mother but they said she had not kept herself for him and did not wait. It seemed to her that it undermined her own personal price and reputation. They quarreled and cried at each other in high tones in the main room of Julia’s flat.
‘But, how you dare to say me such things?’ Julia cried indignantly. ‘I never betrayed your father!’
‘But, they say so much about your life. There’re so many rumors in the town about you!’ Her daughter cried in return.
‘But, you do not believe what they say and do not hear the rumors! And, do better than insult your mother!’ Julia objected.
Thus, they stopped talking and Julia’s daughter came to the kitchen where Mike sat.
‘Do not judge your mother.’ Mike said. ‘Whether you do not have a possibility not to do the things she did?’
The daughter did not answer. Then, she asked about the some of fine and Mike promised to keep it invested till the time the kids would be born in the new family of his daughter and that young man. Thus, the matter was settled.
Then, after some time, Julia’s daughter and her husband stayed guest in Mike’s home. The husband of Mike’s daughter said that he loved another girl and wanted to live with two women simultaneously. Mike said he was afraid that it would not be equitable and his daughter may also betray him for another man. But, the young man promised to forbear of sex and fast for the time his wife would live in the house of his father. Mike said they should still live for some time together before the young man would begin to forbear. He promised for a financial assistance and to help the young man in the publishing business by granting him the exclusive rights to publish Mike’s books and some of his kids and wives in several countries of Eastern Europe. Then, he spoke with his daughter and persuaded her to make her husband feel more like a real man.

Truffle baroness

Mike promised to a Chinese man that he would give his own daughter to his grandson in marriage. Mike invented a way to grow the truffle mushrooms artificially like the potatoes in the oak groves. Then, on the basis of what had been said and done Mike dreamed and saw the future…
He promised to his daughter from Mary, that one who was not his legal wife but concubine, that he would find her a Chinese boy that would work hard to make a truffle baroness out of her. On one of the travels to China Mike met a boy whom he spotted to be the future predestinated husband of his daughter. He began to talk to him about the future and proposed to think of more how he would grow truffles. He promised to buy a farm with the area covered by oaks in Belgium for the future project. He also proposed for the boy to find one hundred Chinese boys among his friends as the future workers on the farm he would possess along with Mike’s daughter. Thus, it was a deal.
Then, when his daughter grew of the age to marry, the Chinese young man demanded her hand. Mike proposed to wait for some time and compete in growing a watermelon each of them two, the young man and himself, for Mike’s daughter to decide whose watermelon would be sweeter and thus indicate if she wants to wed or stay in her father’s house. By and by, a wedding party was held. Mike kept his promise and bought a farm with oak groves in Belgium. Then, they went to the south of France to buy the truffles to grow them on the farm in Belgium. By an agreement of sharing the secrets of growing the truffles artificially in the natural conditions and also the seeds and some legal agreements with the French farmers allowing Mike and his family to control that business in a certain share in the future, they got a good wholesale discount. Mike could see in his visions that the farming and growing the truffles went well and when he arrived to Belgium on some day a bunch of grandkids waited for him.


The curse of Jewish priests

Mike knew that when he would be the president of Russia he would support the Arab States and also Palestine. For that the Jewish priests would try to put a curse on him. But, the trick was that he would suffer against that curse already in his youth when he would forbear of sex and preview his future. So, the curse would not have on him the effect awaited by the Jewish priests. The last would suffer and maybe even die instead.


Nuclear conflict

There should be a nuclear conflict between Russia and USA to make pay Mike’s inventions of the new rockets principles. Mike knew it would be. Mike should be a president of Russia to that time to manage the whole affair. Mike knew how it would happen. The American would make a volley of the ballistic rockets but they would be destroyed by the Russian antimissile rockets. Then, the Russian would send their own ballistic rockets with the ordinary warheads able to penetrate the American anti-missile defense. It would be to destroy the starting platforms of the American rockets. Still, the time would be given enough for the military personnel to get evacuated out of the bunkers. The whole military company would be for the American and other Western warships and military aircraft to be captured by the Russian and be a pledge for a contribution after the payment of which the warships would be returned. He also knew that only three American submarines would be destroyed but only because their crews would try to terrorize the USA government for a ransom just before the nuclear conflict in which no nuclear bomb or rocket would blow up. Then, Mike saw in the visions of the future how it would happen…
Mike visited the USA. There was a press conference. A reporter stood up and asked about Mike’s involvement into the events of the September 11th.
‘What’s the problem? In Second World War you helped to solve our interior problem but then we helped to solve your interior problem.’ Mike retorted.
Then, he was lonely in his hotel apartments. He looked into the night sky out the window. Next day, the presidential aircraft he was in flew back to Russia. An American submarine gave start to a rocket intending to put down the aircraft. The anti-locator misled the rocket for it to hit the submarine itself. Back home, in Moscow, Mike addressed the nation with a statement of purpose for the future war that would not last long.
A CIA representative came to Mike’s cabinet and gave him the names of the three American submarines which crews tried to take avail of the nuclear conflict to terrorize the USA government for a ransom threatening to send the ballistic rockets with the nuclear warheads on the American cities.
After the conflict, Mike gave an interview to an American TV channel that Russia had not pretences for the American financing the Nazi Germany before the Second World War and the huge number of victims among Soviet citizens. It was because Stalin’s government solved the problem how to dispose of an interior enemy the way the ideology and life dictated in that time to the minds of the people.
Then, Mike arrived to USA to sign a peace agreement. The ordinary Americans shook hands with him because the CIA experts had told the truth about the real danger of the outbreak of the serious infectious sickness, but for the decisive acts of September 11th due the personnel of the twin tower had been vaccinated with the bad quality military vaccines.
Mike warned his bodyguards that a sniper would shoot dead the USA president like it had been with Kennedy when they would be together with him on the street. After the shot of the sniper from a roof window, Mike got into his car along with his bodyguards and the cartage left the place.
Then, on the press conference for the death of the USA president Mike pronounced, ‘The people often forgive the intentions but they do not forgive mistakes.’

Son’s presidential election campaign

Mike knew his son John would be an USA president and he himself would campaign for him for the election of his son for that office. He would be a candidate from the Republican Party…
‘If you want to add your votes for the votes of harlots and gangsters, vote Democrat! If you want to waste with the Democrat what you’ve earned with the Republican, vote Democrat!’ Was part of Mike’s speech.

Cross

Once, they asked Mike in the KGB if he wanted some medals or orders for what he did and would do. Mike said that he wanted a silver cross with a red ribbon. He wanted it for his suffering to give the health to the girls through the vaccination. He knew he would be given it when he would be an old man already. And, he saw a vision about it…
Old Mike stood in the big hall after they granted him a cross that now hang on the right part of his chest. He recalled about his youth when he suffered and he felt bad a bit and groggy. He went aside a bit because of dizziness. His grandsons surrounded him. They all were in gray suits as was the tradition of the family brought about by Benedicta long time ago. They asked if it was Ok with Mike. Mike felt better.
When they descended on the stairs a young girl came by Mike and spilled the soft acid on one of his grandsons’ left side of the belly. Partly, it was to punish him because he did not begin to fast as his granddad had done. Partly, it was to prevent the skin sickness that might result from the sugar metabolism misbalance because Mike had eaten the pills from the hands of a gangster instead of a girl in his childhood and it could be inheritable. Next, vision Mike saw was that he sat in the sauna with his grandson whose skin was covered by a white bandage held on by the plaster after the wound had covered with the new skin. Mike saw that his grandson felt bad because of sexual forbearance and much hard study. He knew the young man would follow his example.

Duel

Mike knew that when he would be an old men he would live in Scotland. The Scots also promised him that they would arranged for a duel on the cold steel arms because of some land lot… They prepared an Olympic games champion in fencing and the young man insulted Mike that his daughter was not Mike’s own daughter from the young wife he had. Mike had prepared himself for that, even before the appointment and read the old literature about fencing and practiced the techniques on a mockup. Then, on the day of the duel he arrived to the place of the appointment on a car with the driver and without any second. While the young champion had two seconds. Mike wounded the young man into the belly with the first blow. He did not touch the important organs. Then, he rubbed the blood off the sable with his handkerchief. He brought that bloody handkerchief to his daughter.
‘That’s the blood of your offender,’ Mike said.
Then, his son and main heir Jo phoned and asked him, ‘Father, why you did not tell it to all us? We would help you with that.’
‘That’s my personal affair and it was a personal insult,’ Mike said. ‘I did what I wanted to do.’
‘So, you did not want to kill him?’ Jo asked.
‘You say right,’ Mike confirmed.
Mike did not kill the young man because the last would marry his daughter after in the court it would be confirmed Mike’s fatherhood by a DNA test. The Scots broke the young man the left hand in that he was the left-hander. It was a punishment for him.

Price

On one of the visits of Mike into the KGB during his childhood, the officer proposed to Mike to accept being fed with the real bacteriological weaponry to use the resources of his immunity system. Then his blood could be used for vaccination again before his death, during the pregnancy of his new mother and after he would be born. It was the price of his clonning and resurrection. It seemed to be logical and a good bargain and Mike consented…
Old Mike lay on the bed in an isolated room. It was dark. Only the electrical light of a lamp on the floor gave the rays of light. Mike felt bad after he had been fed with the serum filled with strong microbes. Still, he knew it would not last more than one month. His skin was a bit green. He knew that the main part of the cost of the born again ticket he had already paid during his youth when he had earned a good immunity for himself, his wives and kids.


The bed of death

Mike lay on his bed in his bedroom in the house in Scotland. His relatives came one by one to bid him farewell. On one of the days, a fair-haired boy from the progeny of his hair Jo entered into his room. Maybe, it was for Mike to acknowledge him as an heir of the family. The tears began to appear on the eyes of the boy.
‘An Italian,’ Mike commented.

Clan

Mike knew that there should be a lesbian clan after his death and before it during his very old days. The women would seek the healthy children born from him. They would be under his protection. Mike saw in his visions how he demanded of his main heir Jo to look after those women after his death.


Burial

In his testament, Mike had ordered his sons to prepare a secret tomb in a hill in Scotland. He would not be buried on an ordinary cemetery. It was for the microbes in his body to dissolve in the nature slowly and not to contaminate the underground waters. The tomb would be like a short mine. The entrance would be camouflaged. Mike had seen himself lying in that tomb in one of his visions.
Then, he had seen his burial. He was buried with the music of a Scotch orchestra with the bagpipes following his coffin. Many people were collected and wept. A bagpipe gave a sound of the weep also and the musician wept himself. He went out of the rows and sat on the side of the road to weep.

Newspaper article

Mike also prophesied that there should be another strong hurricane in the future already after his death and he called an approximate date on the principle of the back wave and intuition. Somebody put it down on the paper. Then, he saw the future…
A newspaper published a reportage about the prophecy of Mike about the second hurricane. By computer effects, they made Mike’s skull smile and put a cigarette into his teeth. The name of the article was ‘The old rogue is up to his jokes again’.
The Muslim immigrants in Europe reacted to that by the manifestations because they counted Mike among the prophets.
Last Mike saw was the deep blue horizon threatening a tempest.


Pilgrim

In his visions about what should happen after his death, Mike saw that a young bad reputed woman fell on her knees beside the sarcophagus his skeleton clothed in an expensive blue suit and black shoes lay in. She prayed. Mike knew he also had suffered for her.

The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost

Mike knew that after his death there would be three boys from his progeny that would suffer almost as much as he himself had suffered. They would be beaten the same way as he had been beaten in his childhood near the restaurant in his hometown Shushenskoe. The same way it would be for a good quality of the vaccine. The same as Mike they would deem themselves whether the Father, Son or the Holy Ghost in that they would know they are three. It would be when they would go crazy for some time because of the sexual forbearance. Then, Mike saw how one of them would be compensated for that the same as the other two…
The new bride was brought to the house of the bridegroom. She was beautiful and white. The other wives and relatives met her. The marriage party was ahead. She also was from Mike’s progeny. It had been arranged in the childhood of them both when the boy had met the beautiful girl in a white dress and they had played in a bride and bridegroom. The bride was a virgin.



Skeleton

Mike’s new mother and father brought him into his own museum in Gottenhaim in Germany. It was after he had been clonned. They came to an armored glass sarcophagus where a skeleton lay.
‘You know who was that man?’ his new mother asked.
‘That’s my skeleton,’ just said Mike.


Epilogue

Inna cried out as the spokeswoman of the whole company, ‘You should write a book about us all. You should become a writer and write the books. It should be a melodramatic story. And, that they should sympathize with us. That they should get compassionate to us and pity us because we are sick. And that it should be a noble story and that they would not think that we were shameful. You should glorify us. You should promise to write a book about us all. Promise us!’
‘I promise,’ calmly said Mike.

Born in Siberia

It was the month of August. The summer was retreating behind the calendar leaves. Vassily was on his sally in the German city, which was crossed by the front line. As a sniper he was hunting for his pray. He put right his cloak that had slipped off his shoulders a bit. He was a novice, having just been sent from the place where he had passed his military courses. The war was already ending but Vassily had been beneath the age at which they had sent the people to the army almost for all the war long. It was already close to the evening time when the sun would grow red.
When it was already near the dusk time Vassily got his rifle in one hand and got on his legs to get home to the place where he should sleep. He thought about his past. He again saw the girl whom he loved to play with the other boy. They grasped the flowers and grass to throw it to one another and laughed. They surely were happy with each other. Vassily knew he could have no way with her. Then, he recalled that whore who slept with him in the city on the iron bed with the metal springs beneath the mattress. She told appreciating word to Vassily while he made love to her. Then, he saw again when he was back in the taiga village and the witch pronounced some incantations above him moving slowly her hand with a smoking branch of juniper across the air in tact to her sorcery song. Vassily was taken over by the fever and big drops of cold sweat covered his face. Here a bullet struck the helmet of the soldier and went askance off it. His body turned around because of the impact and he fell on the garbage of the plaster shaken off the walls buy the explosions of shells and also some bricks. He struck the ground and his conscience darkened out not able to stand the contusion.
Two German soldier strolled on their watch when they came across the body of the Russian sniper.
‘Is he alive?’ asked one, cocking his machinegun.
‘Do not waste the cartridges, he’s surely dead.’ Said the other indicating with the short movement of his head to the blood that leaked from the nose and mouth to spill over the uniform and dust.
The other one kicked the leg of the Russian soldier. There resulted no moans. Thus, they went away.
After some time, Vassily was on the positions again. The head ached by phantom pain, but he was no worse all the same.

The captain of the German army looked at his wife that was not old yet.
‘Who will need your beauty but me. You’d better left for the evacuation long ago for me to meet you behind the lines.’ He said.
But, the blond woman just began to open the curtains, which divided the room from the outer world.
‘Maybe, some lonely Russian soldier?’ she said stretching her arms and the whole body, raising it a bit on the feet, exposing her naked bosom and the whole slender body.
‘Martha, do not play a fool, close up the curtains, it could be dangerous.’ Said the officer.
At that moment, Vassily draw the bead on her right bosom and shot. The bullet went through the lungs and shoulder spade hurling the woman on the floor. She moaned and tried to breathe but made it frequently not able to inhale the air deep into the wounded lungs. The red foam appeared from the mouth of the woman. The mouth itself always changed its form in many grimaces along with the expression of the whole face. Vassily collected the cartridge-case and retreated from his ambush. A girl of eight years old appeared in the room while her father ran to the people to call for an alert. She looked at the naked body of her mom for rather long time, attentively, then ran off also.

The German commandment decided to pass all the feminine staff deeper to the home front. They collected a small caravan of military automobiles and trucks with boxes of a color of the mixture of green and blue and ventured its way on the road damaged by the explosions of the Russian shells. All the buildings around the road were partially destroyed by the Russian artillery. They made it early in the morning before any artillery fire would start from Russian positions. The first car slowed down at the place where the road was much holed by the average size craters. The driver got his car to the lower gear and was about to wheel his way through that part of the road when the bullet from a sniper rifle struck a female officer on the front seat upon her right bosom. The front seat of the car on which the woman in the military uniform had sat jerked back by the impact of the shot and then it jumped forward to entail the body of the war victim and make the head hit the front glass of the car causing the glass to break and cut the face of the woman. The car stopped and the driver opened the door to run away trying to protect his head from a possible shot. The other bullet got into the face of the woman that sat in the cabin of the next truck. However, she had been able to open the door just before it and fell dead out of the car instinctively covering her face with the hands. Her body struck upon the muddy ground. The people of the stopped caravan began to get out of the cars and trucks and before they hid in the ground and construction garbage Vassily was able to shoot two more women. A few seconds, there were no more shots, then a woman got on her feet and began to run off with a shriek lifting her feet high above the ground to jump over the other bodies and the blocks of the houses torn off them by explosions. Somebody cried to her not to run and lie down calling her by the name Frederica. The bullet hit her on the back of the head and she fell on the ground. The soldiers and officers began to shoot off and Vassily knew it was the time to get away.

The blond woman, who was the girlfriend of the other blond woman having been killed just before by the sniper got into a delirium and always wept telling that that Russian soldier would murder her the same way. She had nearly drove away in the family car before somebody caught her and made return to the home. She always tried to run away from the house and her husband, the officer of the German army, and the other men had nothing but to make her sit on a chair in the stairs hall where there were no windows but still she wept and cried to let her out. Her husband assured her that nothing bad menaced her. Closer to the night, Vassily got on the top of the building, in which lived the first woman he had killed. He walked to the stairs hall where the woman sat and got down the first floor on which his victim stayed, he did it by tying a rope around his waist. The woman looked at him with the eyes full of mad fear and much of surprise. The Russian soldier stabbed her to the heart a pair of times before she died. He did it with his firm military knife. She gave out her ghost. Vassily cut off her left ear with a golden earring in it. But then, he dropped it on the floor. After it, he got on the roof making avail of the rope, all the way through the broken staircases. Some time passed before the husband deemed it suitable to visit his wife, just to find her dead. With much tears and sobs, he took her body and carried it to the room lit by the candle chandelier. He instinctively tried to put the cut off ear to its former place, but without any success possible it stayed on the floor of the room along with the body itself. While the man ran away to tell the news, the small daughter of the woman entered the room. She approached the body of her mother. Then, she spat on her death frozen face and began to trample the cut off ear. She made it several times, after which, she saw the golden earring and squatted to unclasp it from the ear of her mother. After that, she also left the room.

It was dark deep night. It rained. Vassily went from the positions to his new den he just found for himself. Somehow, the small little girl caught his trail and went after him following his tracks before they would be washed by the rain. The other girl did not lose from her view the first girl, having always looked after her playmate. Vassily got into an imperceptible entrance to an underground. The girls made the same.

Vassily put a record on the gramophone and a German woman began to sing the song of the time before the war. He gave to the girls some chocolate he had found in the place eating some of it himself also. The girls shared the pieces of the chocolate throwing the sharp and attentive glances on the man now and then. After the chocolate was made away with, one of the blond girls took out of her pocket the golden earring and suspended it to her left ear.
‘Give the earring to me also.’ Said the other one after sometime.
‘No, I won’t. That’s my mother’s earring.’ She answered.

Vassily stood still before an officer of high degree. It was in the regiment headquarters.
‘You discredited!’ The officer told hardly able to keep his anger.

The ten years of the presence in the prison camps did not seem to cause much change to Vassily. He was not talkative the same. He was always calm. The term was ending and he was let to the nearby settlement for some business. While in the house, he met a former German officer. They sat at the same table with him, he talked to him emotionally about something in his own native language and showed a paper given him by the Russian authorities. He smiled and laughed as a child. Vassily recalled that face which he had seen so far ago through the ocular of the sniper rifle. He took the self-made knife from his pocket and stabbed the surprised German to his heart several times. Then, he took the paper and left the place.

It passed ten years of hope and waiting. Margarita and Catharine were waiting for the father of one of them that was about to return from Siberia after so much time. They said that he lost the gift of speech but it seemed to matter little in that they would be no orphans any more all the same. They tidied up the house and prepared a good dinner. It was a long awaited arrival. Margarita was trimming some clothes of her father while Catharine just took several plates from the sideboard. The door opened and Vassily stood in the jamb. Margarita who had just jumped on her feet a few seconds before, now sat back on the chair and her Adam’s apple moved up and down after she swallowed. Catharine dropped the plates on the floor to let them break in pieces.

Vassily chose the military uniform from the closet. He was about to get hired on a job. The first week of his presence in the two-story house of Catharine and Margarita passed. And, the time to provide for himself and his new family came. Margarita was merrily ironing a light dress. Then, she approached Vassily to help him put on the uniform. It was right his size.

Vassily found a job easily. Nobody knew the German man by looks in that city. The house was inherited by Catharine from her aunt. All day Vassily worked mutely screwing the nuts in a car repairs station. He always wore his German uniform.
Once on his way home, he met some drunken Soviet officers. One of them began to insult Vassily concerning his uniform. He spat on him. After some time, they found that officer killed by a knife in a desolate corner of the city.
Catharine and Margarita always went on some business together. The people often saw how they went out of the house in pair. It was for shopping or something else.

Vassily got his wages and was glad on his way home. He whistled a German melody and now and then touched the pack of banknotes in his left chest pocket. A whore stood leaning on the wall of a white house. She bent her right leg in the knee and put the foot against the wall. Vassily stopped sharp when he saw the whore. He looked into her eyes and always winked with both eyes. She stopped playing with her scarf. The hooker approached him and took by the trousers with her both hands.
‘So, the boy got the money to play with. Maybe, you wanna try the love on the sale?’ She told grabbing him closer.
Vassily tried to softly push her on the belly with his hands to show he was negative to such an idea. The harlot took him by the chest and slowly turning around pushed him upon the wall as though tenderly. The man swallowed dryly.
‘So, we’re choosy.’ She commented.
She shook the man upon the wall with a jerk. At that moment her sight caught the pack of money in the chest pocket of Vassily.
‘Stand still.’ She ordered and took out the banknotes. ‘Vow, we’re rich today!’
The whore poked the banknotes under her skirt so that the ends of them were open to contemplate.
‘You better be careful next time.’ She said and went away.
When Vassily got back home he sat on a chair and began to weep.
‘What happened?’ asked Margarita.
‘A woman took the money from me,’ he cried out in broken German.
‘What woman, daddy?’ the young woman asked.
‘The one with a scarf, her face was all painted over.’ He complained.
‘Oh, come down, daddy, come down.’ Margarita appeased.

After Margarita sent her small daughter to the school, she kept her somber mood. Vassily went to the window to see the street, but when close to the young woman he heard her accusing words.
‘You killed my family, my parents.’ She accused and spat on his face.
Vassily took her body and with several forceful movements turned her over, making her put her hands on the table. He pulled down her skirt and forced her to an unnatural way of making love. After all was over, he left the room and Margarita sat on the chair. Catharine entered the room and began to try to make her calm with soft strokes on her head.
‘Calm down, Margarita, calm down. Whether he ever caused us any harm?’
‘I’ll tell out all. I’ll confess, Catharine, I’ll confess.’ Margarita assured.
‘Do not play a fool, Margarita. The daddy is good. Calm down.’ She tried to persuade her girlfriend to change her mind.
‘He killed my parents.’ Margarita said.
‘Calm down,’ Catharine objected.

When outdoors and on the job, Vassily screwed the bolts in the repair shop always keeping mum. That time, he trimmed the wheel of a car when a pair of German stood and looked at him.
‘He’s truly a German, you cannot imitate this. That should be inborn.’ Said the one.
The other one nodded.

Second half predestinated

It was already in his childhood that Jack’s mind got occupied with such things as blood and viruses. Once he made an experiment provided there was a used microscope in the closet. He took with a syringe a little of his own venous blood, then a little of the arterial blood. He mixed the blood under the microscope and looked at the effect that would result. As he anticipated there was a reaction. The blood mixed and it was a kind of short circuit producing a sort of stuff that should influence the body of a human being in a certain way. Of course, Jack understood that such an effect would be damaging to a human body. But, he got afraid lest the military laboratories should produce the same sort of bacteriological weaponry intended to slowly kill the people. Jack needed immunity against such a pest. He was in fear that the same idea could come into the head of the military laboratory scientist. So, he took the bloody cocktail that was left after the reaction was over and ate it on a hungry stomach. He felt bad for some time. It seemed that his circulation slowed down and the first stage of fever was through. He wanted to vomit but patiently endeavored not to do it fearing that in such a case the process in his organism would grow faster. After a week he was better. After a month he recalled the whole story only from time to time. The only thing he knew definitely when he would grow up he would become an endocrinologist.

That day Jack decided to visit that gangster who bought a deputy status in a buy-out electoral run for the seat in the regional parliament. He entered the big mansion of the gangster and was led to a cabinet of the deputy on the second floor. He sat alone for some time on a chair before the table at which the host would sit down. He used it to spill the powder into a rather big glass box with the gray rats. The animals sniffed the stuff with an obvious displeasure. Jack sat on the chair again. After some time the deputy appeared.
‘I don’t have much time. So, let’s get as closer to the business that led you here as possible.’ He announced.
‘You know I have come as a member of your electorate. I am very much worried concerning the things they say about you. It’s kind of damaging to the reputation of our district. They say you’re involved into the criminal activity. It brings about the preoccupation.’ Said Jack.
At that moment, the secretary brought a pair of the cups of tea and put them on the table. She left the room.
‘You know what yourself. I have immunity. They cannot touch me because of apprehensions.’ He said and stood up from the chair to look into the window and show to the scenery of the city. ‘That is my city and I rule it the way I should do.’
At that time, Jack poured the powder into the teacup of the gangster. The last got into an ambition completely.
‘I’ve got immunity. I am a protected person.’ He turned around. ‘You cannot chastise me just for the sake of it. What’s your business?’
‘I said I was just worried for the sake of the electorate. I feel that depending on your reputation the protection of the rights of the people in our city might be not effective, if...’ Jack hardly said.
‘So, you’re so prudent in politics. Why are you just a part of the electorate then and not a politician?’ the man took some swallows of the tea with the virus from the cup. ‘You better be occupied with your own business!’ at that moment his arrogance became only doubled.
‘I just told you about my apprehensions.’ Said Jack.
‘Apprehensions.’ The man said and took the rest of the tea owing to his desire to cover up his nervousness. ‘I’ve got no apprehensions on account I got the deputy protection. No anxiety.’
‘Ok. So, I’ve got to go if you feel it is all right. Take care.’ Said Jack and left the room.
The fat gangster expressed himself in quite not numerate but costly cuss words and broke the cup in pieces by throwing it upon a wall.

In the evening, the gangster sat at his table looking through some papers concerning his business. His eyes caught the sight of the glass box with the rats. He was surprised to find them all as though asleep. He approached the glass box and took the poker that stood near the fireplace. He pushed the end of it into the bodies of the rats just to find they did not respond to the manipulation. Surprised, he put the poker on its place and left the glass box open.
In the morning the fat deputy got to his business again. The rats awoke in the fever of the sickness yearning for the flesh. They began to get from the glass box one by one, their bodies being strengthened by the virus. They ran around on the floor and when the fat man saw them, they already were all free.
‘Oh, shit.’ He said and went deeper to the room to look better at what had happened.
All of a sudden, a rat attacked him. Then, the rest rushed upon the man. Gnawing into the flesh of the man. He shrieked as a woman trying to grasp the bodies of the small animals, but they only squeezed their jaws closer. Finally, they terminated him in a few moments. The secretary called for the police and ambulance only for the man to be found dead and bloody, some parts of his bodies eaten up by the rats. The animals ran free from the house.

Jack was in a good mood. He knew that his IQ and all the functions of the organism got more effective after the sickness was over. He felt that he could influence the mind of the people around him better and better to his own profit. He was much cleverer now. It meant he should be more successful as a specimen of the Homo sapience species. All he needed now was a woman of the characteristics according to his new state of metabolism. It should be a girl from some southern country. When he looked more to the classifications of different nations being no more than under-species of the Homo sapience, he found it should be a girl from the sunny Sicily. So, he got into a trip to that part of the globe. He bought a doctor gown and put on a bandage cloth mask to look like a surgeon occupied in the business of healing. He already found the necessary city and place where his princess should live to bring forth the baby that would be cleverer to get peered with other specimens in the future. All seemed to be so as to wish the whole thing to be better would be superfluous. He found the personal medical papers of the girl in an archive in the city policlinic. Now, he looked on the pages of them to investigate for the characteristics to be sure all was in a right way. Suddenly, his countenance changed. He drew down the mask. What he saw now was that his girl named Benedicta was not a virgin anymore according to a paper that was written after a medical test. He felt bitter and could not believe himself. He knew that it was necessary to find his own half in the scientific sense. To take the other one even from the same city was much worse to cancel the effects of the immunity and new level of metabolism and the whole thing was in vain now. Jack closed the notebook and put it on the shelf. The years of the scientific work for the sake of his own family as the part of the humanity was nothing now.

A man approached the washbowl of a hostel of the Prague University. The other one turned up from behind. Still, he did not have enough time to prevent the other one from pouring the white powder into the washbowl. The first one turned on the faucet and the water carried the stuff into canalization.

Jack stood in a thick mass of believers present in that conference of worshiping the God. He looked at Benedicta and touched his gun of a pleasant weight. They asked if somebody wanted to give the testimonies to come on the platform. Jack went forward. When he was on the platform he took out his gun.
‘Close the doors right now! I require that they should close the doors. Faster, faster!’ He said in a loud voice.
Some women from one of the rows ventured to start leaving the place. Jack shot to the air.
‘Everybody keep their places, or I’m gonna shoot!’ he cried loud enough.
The women returned to their places. Some of the women screamed. The men stood up out of a natural instinct then sat back on the chairs.
‘You all keep your seats. I’ll shoot at anybody wants to run away.’ Jack explained.
This way Jack kept the audience on their places for already eight hours. In the meantime, he offered them to drink their own urine but not to leave their places. After another ten hours, some followed his advice. The storm groups were already on their starting positions when they offered Jack to surrender to avoid senseless victims. He realized that it was already enough time for the virus to work provided some believers rented the rooms in the hostel.
‘It’s all over. It’s already all vain. I stop it. You’re right there’s no sense to continue the whole thing.’ Said Jack by the mobile phone to the specialist on negotiations. ‘I surrender.’
The first special force soldiers appeared in the hall. Jack dropped his gun and held up his hands.

‘So, Mister Smirnoff, We’d like to know your intention out of which you took captive so much people.’ Asked a man in the civil suit after half an hour passed from the time when Jack had been arrested.
‘The only thing I can tell is that all is in vain now. All in vain.’ Said Jack in an intonation that showed he was serious about what he said.
‘Maybe, you’ll explain us what’s the cause of your acts and words.’ The man offered.
‘I was not in time on the place. When I appeared in the hostel he already had enough time to contaminate the hostel with the virus. I just had the time to kill him. Still, that’s no better, the students are contaminated for now. You’d better visit the hostel.’ Jack explained.
‘Look what’s about it in the hostel.’ The man said.
In the time while Jack sat alone in an empty room with a big mirror. The police found the whole hostel to be dead in their rooms and corridors. The people in the conference room began to feel bad themselves. After another half an hour they were all dead. The intelligence office did not have the time to investigate the stuff because the government declared the full evacuation of the Prague inhabitants. Jack was left alone and of no interest for the police and State security office it seemed.
‘Why he did not inform us from the very beginning that the hostel was contaminated? Some students were found dead in the city and the water supplying system is full of the virus now. And, the guy whose body we found in the shower room. He’s just a concierge of the hostel. It doesn’t match.’ Said of the men from the State security office.
‘Maybe that’s also the influence of the virus on him?’ the other supposed.
‘Maybe, just maybe.’ The first one commented.
The virus worked hard and already the bigger part of the city lay on the streets. The others were left in it to die not able to pass through the quarantine line.
In Moscow, the intelligence office was preoccupied with the idea to somehow play around the terrorist act in Prague.
‘Let’s say it’s our agent.’ Said one clear head.
‘Yea, let’s say he’s our man.’ The other agreed.
As to Jack himself, he begged for the body of his fiancée Benedicta to be given to him to take care of it. After it was clear the population of the city was doomed to death and decay, they had nothing but to let Jack free, them having no concern about the body of some girl from thousands the same as her. Jack found a car that was no use for its owner now. He took the body of Benedicta and put it on the rear seat of the car, covering it by the cellophane. In a few days already all the Europe was under the strike of the new plague. Jack himself wheeled on a car through the crowds of the zombies that filled the streets in the search for the food. The sick people wandered on the roads not able to get oriented. So, sometimes, Jack had to ride them over. Once, he hit the former champion of the formula one races. The other time, he stopped not to hit a woman that used to be the number one model and her photos covered the front pages of magazines.
‘Mister, I wanna eat and drink, please help me.’ She begged.
Jack rode along when she made free the space on the road coming to the open window of the car. Jack’s aim was to found some way to get to USA. After all, he was able to persuade the people that it was a good bargain to let him to USA owing he had the immunity against the sickness. He was present at the burying of his beloved girl while they put her coffin under a thick layer of concrete. They vaccinated the main part of the population with the antibodies of Jack only to cause progress to the epidemic. Finally, Jack had to cross the Mexican frontier. It rained. He said he had the immunity and got the interest of a policeman under an umbrella again. The body of Benedicta was secured now. The only trouble was when the challenger and incumbent of the electorate race for the presidency of USA beat the concrete under which Benedicta lay. It was after they tried to clear out their relations in a scrap in the TV debates audience being led by the fever and delirium of the sickness. The nation had no interest in them anymore.
The Americas, Europe, Asia and Africa were all under the strike of the virus. Only Australia and the nearby islands kept the resistance. Jack visited the laboratory of a private work scientist in the southern part of Argentina. The man came to the same discovery as the Jack had come many years ago.
Jack looked into the eyes of the man and said, ‘The thing is that they’ll all think that it’s you who faked up the virus when all is over. They’ll think it was you.’
He took the gun and shot into the head of the scientist. Everybody will think it was a vengeance for the sake of the humanity. When Jack arrived to Australia he said he was a specialist in the illness that covered almost all the Earth.
‘I found the immunity against the sickness.’ He said the phrase already not for the first time.
He persuaded the authorities to collect the dead bodies of the Australian citizens and to blow up a portable nuclear bomb Jack had found in USA due to his good relations with the CIA. They did it and contaminated the whole region. Now, it was all over and Jack had to return to California. Hollywood was the place he dreamed of. But, first he visited Sicily. He met his offender. He tied him to a chair to start a talk and spilled the gasoline upon him.
‘So, you were first? Yea, you were closer but for me it was quite a distance. That’s a pity.’ He said and threw an ignited match.
Now, Hollywood. Jack recalled how he used a pair of systems for infusion to connect the artery on the left hand with the vein on the right and vise versa.
‘You are a good actor Jack. You were born for Hollywood.’ He said to himself.
In the Hollywood, he picked up the actresses of the Beverly Hills and began to feed them and live with them in a conjugal way. Now, he saved them. He chose a mansion with a good system of video control for his new family. While his women recovered he went to Washington and took out the body of Benedicta who had the time to get back into the conscience. He healed her also. He would gift her the whole Sicily after the decay of the dead people would be over. It would be for her and their kids and nobody would say about her dishonor.
The year passed and his new family had a kind of crisis. His wives usually gossiped in the smoking room at who was Jack and how it turned so lonely in the world. They questioned themselves who was that Benedicta who was beloved most of all by Jack. Jack looked at them on the controlling screen in the spy room and felt bad because of it. That is why, Jack had to reanimate the cinematography. He took a pair of helicopters and organized a hunt on a whale. He put them on the auto-pilot and machine-gunned the animal while the camera on the other helicopter on the parallel course filmed him. Then, he dropped the corpse of the whale on the lawn before the mansion. He was keen on looking if it would make an impression on his women. He got into the spy room to check what was the result of his efforts.
‘What do you think about all this?’ asked one of them in the smoking room. ‘What do you remember?’
‘I remember the same as you: the infection and all the stuff. You think he is in concern to all that?’ the other asked.
‘I think that yes.’ The first one said. ‘You think he’s a bit crazy?’
Now, Jack knew that he was not able to create a new life. The vaccine had two side-effects. First, only the girls were born in new Jack’s family. Second, it seemed that Jack found a source of immortality for him and his family. It was just necessary to repeat the process with the transfusion of the artery blood to the vein and vise versa. In a depression, Jack went home from a new studio where he would make a movie about the aliens from the outer space. A pair of his daughters eight years old went by looking askance at him and making it faster.
When they were alone in an empty bar, the one of them asked the other one. ‘How do you think, whose skeleton is it on the floor?’
‘The mom said they were the bad people and the father punished them.’ She answered.
Then, they climbed on the brown polished table and one of them turned to her chaperone, kissed her tenderly and demanded looking straight into her eyes, ‘Who will be the man today?’

Unbroken spirit

Zarikto woke up when the sunbeams already played with the small orchard leaves. His father and mother had come to China across the great wall. For his father it was to pay the tribute for his kinsmen and for the mother to buy something to wear. They lived in a place near the great wall. So, the Chinese made his tribe pay the money. Zarikto collected his clothes and put them on fast. Today was the day of a battle for him. He had met some girls that were accursed and in the dinnertime he had to go to the nearby hotel about the same size as the one his family had stopped in. It was to meet those people that had come to worship their Chinese gods. They said like the girls were consecrated to the gods and could not be married, but Zarikto knew that they were simply accursed. He was going to tell that these gods of China were no good and that he was a god himself able to take the curse for these Chinese girls on himself and be a god in that he knew that the gods were just the ancestors of the Chinese that had been declared so because they had said that they had been the gods from their own mouths. He collected his spirit. A fortuneteller had said to him that he had seen that they would beat him and maybe to death. All the same, Zarikto wanted to take those girls as his wives. He could not let them become nuns. He pitied them and wanted to save. The fortuneteller had said that if Zarikto would come across the invisible line with his right foot first he would die and be not able to save the girls, but if he would come with the left foot he would see the girls no more even if he would fight to a victory. But, Zarikto had jumped with his both feet across that invisible line to declare that he would save the girls and live to take them as his wives. The woman wept and could tell no more.
When on the place, Zarikto challenged those men that pretended to be sacred and served those Chinese gods. He insulted them to say that those gods were not better than Zarikto himself, that they were bad not to be able to save the girls taking the spell off them. First, they said that the boy was mad. Then, they began to beat Zarikto. He was an eight years old boy. So, however he tried he could not withstand the throng. After all, when the boy already was not able to stand, they brought him in a sack beyond the wall and threw on the ground.

Zarikto was now sixteen years old boy and he wanted much to prove he was a man already. He caught a snake in the hills and now wanted to sell it to somebody in the market. He just wandered along the counter lines. A fat Chinese tax collector wandered across the crowd and asked the vendors to pay taxes. Zarikto looked at him with a mix of calmness and deep soul hatred.
The fat Chinese man first withstood the glance of the young man then asked with disdain, ‘What do you look at, the son of pig? Did you pay the taxes? Show me what you’ve got in your bag!’
Zarikto poked his right hand into the bag and caught the snake by the throat in a blind way. He pulled the venomous reptile out and threw upon the face of the fat tax collector. The snake that was angry already a long time bit the fat man by the cheek to make him shriek wildly. Zarikto hurled the bag to the soldier who was about to pull out his sward and ran across the market hitting somebody with his body now and then.

Zarikto had to go to live in taiga forest because he was an outlaw now. His goatskin, axe, bow and quiver of arrows was all he had. He felt lonely. In the market, before he met that fat Chinese he met a Chinese beauty. She was not completely Chinese. She was not so narrow-eyed as genuine Chinese and she was rather tall. He met her several times already. And, maybe, it was for her that he had caught the snake or else threw it to kill the Chinese tax collector. The humiliation of being alone was insurmountable now in the presence of such a love and Zarikto began to fast from that source of comfort that makes a man feel ashamed. His eyes became a complete pity. He hardly was able to keep himself from weeping. To kill the sorrow, he slept less and less. Finally, he spotted the tracks of a bear. He wounded the beast with an arrow and followed the bloody trail for several weeks already. He slept very little. At the end, he suddenly realized that he was a hunter now, that he was now to hunt not only the animals but the men also. He was a warrior. When he met the wounded bear at last, he cursed the beast and challenged it for a battle brandishing his axe. The bear was surprised to see a man to behave that way. He snarled and stood on his rear paws several times. Then, it eluded from that conflict that required so much to put at stake. It was weak but ran away fast. After all, Zarikto found him dead. He skinned the bear and returned to his shelter made of the branches of spruce. He laughed all the time. All was clear for him now. He was a hunter, and most of the rest should become his prey. Then, he turned serious. All his feelings became so acute that he could discern that which was indistinguishable before that, not long ago. He found the tracks and killed the game: bears, wolves, foxes, sables, minks. He shot the bear or wolf into an eye to make it die fast. Finally, a keep of skins lay dry in a shelter high in the mountains. Zarikto had to make a big sledge out of the spruce saplings and sinews of the animals he killed.
The autumn already ended and the first snow fell in the mountain taiga. Zarikto put the sledge on its go. It slipped from place to place and the young man had to push it a bit from time to time. Simply, it was necessary to find a right direction not to get the sledge stuck, on account it was a huge one. At last, the sledge hit a platform on which the house of the old woman Shonchalaj stood. They sad she was a witch. The old woman got out of her home and looked at the heap of skins with an open mouth. Then, she looked at the eyes of the boy. She saw the flame of craziness and rocked her head from side to side to show she understood all.
She took care of Zarikto while the elders of the tribe came to look on the treasure. They took the skins. It should be a good business. Zarikto drank the beverages the old witch gave to him and it brought him to conscience a bit. He stopped laughing and turned gloomy. He pitied much that he could not return to the city with the market where his beloved one lived. He kept his vow and went on forbearance. Once, he entered the house and saw the naked Bilzejma, the granddaughter of the old woman. He looked at her back some time. She did not turn back. The black hair covered the skin of the back. Zarikto recalled the girl he loved and shut the door to go into the woods not to return soon.

Sajdash had come to Zarikto to be a friend of him. He felt how hard it was for his new comrade to stay on his vow. Zarikto led him to the taiga to hunt the bear. They spotted one down the valley of a fast river. They followed him and when on an edge of the forest Zarikto sent the arrow into the eye of the big animal. The last one fell dead giving up his breath with a moan.
‘You see that you should not hesitate to cause the pain to the bear due you will feel the same pain afterwards to pay for the trophy and you can choose what kind of pain it will be. Try to shoot into its dead eye.’ Offered Zarikto.
Sajdash raised his bow to aim the dead eye of the beast, opened in the posture of the death. But, then he lowered the bow and waved his head.
‘I cannot.’ He said.

Finally, the elders began to keep in their minds the idea of collecting the young men of the tribe, the former part of the great Hunnu union, to do a raid to the territory of the China to rebel against its power. But, first Zarikto should lead them to the forest to hunt the necessary amount of skins to sell or exchange for the weapons the band would need for the warfare. He was a good leader and trained them with the shooting of arrows well. The old warriors showed to them how to handle axes and swards. After half a year, when the deal and training was over, the band was ready for an intruding.

When Zarikto rode his horse upon the trail that led his detachment to China, he remembered that beautiful girl he had seen in the market. She had played with a wealthy youngster. She had allowed him to hug her now and then. When they got into the cart he kissed her before they rode away. Surely, she should have paid with her honor and virginity for that treatment that had cost the money. He spat at the vision and angrily strengthened his grip on the bridle.

On their way, they met an old Chinese vagabond on the trail. He said under a tree. He was clothed in some worn out dress. It was a pitiful sight.
‘You want to conquer the North of China?’ he asked. ‘But, whether you will be able to handle your so curved saber?’
Zarikto took his saber with a quick movement and threw it to the nearby cedar tree that were broad and knobbed. The heavy saber flew a strict line turning over as though an axis and hit the tree penetrating deep into the wood.
‘The devil, the devil.’ Repeated the old man collecting his belongings to run away.

At the place near the great wall they caught a young soldier and as they had found out earlier his occupation was to write the official papers after some officer who pronounced such a paper. They brought him to Zarikto.
‘What you may do?’ he asked.
‘I can write.’ He said.
‘So, what of it?’ asked Zarikto the other question.
‘You did not understand, I can write the letters according to the handwriting of some other soldiers and officers.’ The Chinese soldier said.
‘How, you acquired such an ability?’ the man in chief demanded.
The young soldier blushed as a girl. The adviser of Zarikto told him something to the ear with a smile. Zarikto frowned.
‘I’ll call you later,’ he said, ‘I will need your to make some things for us in return for your life.’
They took the soldier away. The chieftain recalled the last year experience when he had provoked a war in the forest between wolves and bears, sables and foxes. He had taken a piece of the skin of some other animal, a bear, for example, and had poked an arrow through it. Then, he had shot the arrow with the bear’s skin through the body of a wolf. The dead wolf would be found by his kin and the animals had thought a bear had been guilty of it, because Zarikto had been deep in taiga and the animals knew little of the mankind. Then, the wolves quarreled with bears and vise versa while Zarikto could be occupied with his trade. He recalled it. He got an idea. Then, he called in the Chinese soldier. He consented to serve the intruders. They made many letters in different handwritings of the contents Zarikto thought of himself. The soldier narrated all he knew about the intricacies of the frontier detachments’ life and the preparation of the raid began. First, they wrote a letter as though from a girl back home in China. It was a faked up sincere confession of a wife to her lover. The matter was made easier by the fact that the Chinese soldier had a lot of letters with him being a kind of courier, so the information he gave was checked by what the interpreter read to Zarikto from the letters. While the lover stood on his watch on the wall an arrow with the letter pierced by it stuck into his back. An officer was killed with a letter of accusations against him as to an unpaid debt. So, the attention of the commandment of the frontier garrison was diverted to those cases while the band had the time in reserve penetrating into the territory of China. The band robbed the temples of the Chinese gods and collected all the gold and silver at the reach of their hands. The bags of the intruders were full of the treasures. Finally, the Chinese army blocked the band in mountains. It seemed that the band allowed it to do so not to lead a queue to their homeland. In the band of Zarikto, nobody asked any questions knowing that their chieftain made nothing just for the sake of doing it. When the group was blocked to a mountain ridge and there was no way to escape, Zarikto ordered his men to turn back their horses and build a battle order. The Chinese army welcomed it by the cries of approval and disdain being many times bigger than the group of horsemen. The snow was not deep that winter. So, both sides were not tired much by the march. Zarikto waited till the Chinese army got into full order blocking the way to the valley. Then, he ordered an attack. The horsemen rode their horses in this desperado making the snow to run along with them. Then, the avalanche took over the horsemen and ran already forth of them. The Chinese began to ran away fast trying to save their lives throwing away their spears, swards and flags. But, the horsemen of Zarikto just flowed with their horses in the snow following the main mass of avalanche. His warriors get their horses from the snow with much of success. Only some warriors needed the help while the army of China was deep under the snow. Only some of Chinese soldiers were still alive and to be put to death.
Zarikto let his warriors to come home to bring the victory faster than himself. He wanted to stay alone. His horse rode to a well on the way home. Suddenly, his horse neighed in alarm and he saw the face of a girl in the last light of the going away sun. It was the girl from the marketplace. Zarikto stopped his horse. The girl already saw how the strong arms of the man would grab her by the hair to throw across the saddle to abduct her and bring into the land of forests and mountains to be the maidservant of that man. But, Zarikto turned away from the well. He rode slowly several yards, then whipped his horse to run away. He rode to never come back.

The benefits

The apes in the cages moved slowly under the soft but sure wind of the death. They were sick and had to die. But first, they were presumed to gift the immunity and protection from sicknesses to humankind. They should have taken the sins of the mankind on themselves. All were sure of the success of the whole affair. But, Erik felt it was something wrong in all it. He was sure they missed something. He knew they pumped the male with the viruses to create a universal vaccine. They infected the pregnant female and the other females also. The reckon was sure: the male had a good level of testosterone in his blood having a harem and he should fast to produce the antibodies for his females. It was just necessary to take his blood in the right time to make the vaccine. Still, the man felt it was wrong. The whole thing was wrong. There should be something in it on which they did not turn the attention during the work.
Hans on the contrary was sure and even arrogant, ‘You want some tea? But you should allow us to take your blood? Ha-ha, so you wanna some tea?’
The male chimpanzee held the bars of the cage and breathed hard. He turned back to look on his pregnant female that was going to die. He showed his teeth but did not produce any sound. He moved his right foot up and down to somehow resist the pain from the drugs. His eyes began to roll up.
‘So, you wanna dance baby? But, first you should allow us to take your blood.’ Said Hans.
The male chimpanzee was behind a glass screen but the man was sure the animal should understand. First female died. Then second. After that, the rest. The last of all died the pregnant one which had taken the antibodies from the fruit in her womb. Still, the male lived. The head of the department appeared in the control room.
‘What’s all about it down here?’ he asked.
‘We’ll wait as long as he works out the antibodies. Then, we’ll take the blood.’ Said Hans cheerfully.
‘Ok, ok. Seems there’ll be good stuff out of all this affair.’ The man in chief said.
Erik approached the boss and said endeavoring to do so in private, ‘Sir, there should be something wrong. Some wrong. I mean the way we do it.’
‘Do not play a damper, Erik, and…And, you should know that’s the military order. Too many things are involved, Erik. So, you better do not pronounce on that topic any more.’ The man said.
However, Erik was sure now, there was something wrong in all it. The male chimpanzee saw the vision of a female chimpanzee that was clothed up in a dress and sham jewelry. She danced while the man struck the drum. She turned around with a handkerchief. All people laughed and clapped the hands. The vision gave him a comfort. Still, he knew what he was going to do. He would fast until the viruses would dissolve in his blood not to be found by tests, then, he would die. After several hours he died. The man in white gowns and masks took his blood and prepared a vaccine for the soldiers. The deal was done. The AIDS began its slow offensive on the human blood.

Sergeant

A pretty woman in a GI cap took the Colombian warrior on the bead of her sniper rifle. She pulled the trigger and the man fell in the green bush of the jungles.
‘Good shot, Jane, quite to match a senator’s daughter.’ The man in khaki commented.
The other man father to the rear on the positions took his rifle off the log and covered the optics with a lid. He did it chewing the gum. His face was covered by black stripes painted across the face.

The heavy transport helicopter carried the weight of pretty daughters of senators and governors that opted for the special forces detachment to be called paratroopers. They listened to the music through headphones or else just chewed the gum. While the helicopter landed on the platform before a sand color concrete building they went out one by one throwing the contemptible glances on the sergeant that stood near the entrance of the big edifice. After they chose the bunks in the barrack to unpack their belongings, they were called to the main hall to stand along the walls to make a kind of square. It was dim in the hall. Jack as was the name of the sergeant walked along the row of lieutenants, captains and majors to find a target among the line of the soldiers who held their hands behind back.
‘You should know what I’ll say. You think that you are great warriors. I should disappoint you on that reason. They ordered me to make a real capable to fight detachment out of a mob of girls collected down here in that place. Remember that you are no more that dust on my boots. You’re not soldiers, you are not even privates. You, miss, do wanna be a private?’ Jack addressed a blond officer. ‘Do you wanna be my private to render pleasure to me?’
‘Your dick should have been two times bigger for such a proposal, Mister.’ The cutie answered looking down at the sergeant to make all laugh.
‘Do you know what it is called?’ he addressed rhetorically the whole detachment. ‘It’s called the mania of gigantism. You, miss, always will long for bigger and bigger stuff until the crap should drop out of your ass. That’s the costs of the mania of gigantism. It’s always better to stop to the average size to play it sure… To say more, you should know that a sergeant is the key figure in US army. He’s a mediator between the soldiers and officers. He’s as Jesus Christ. You know that you cannot address the officers on your own. You can only do it by the sergeant. The officers are as gods on the Earth. They are not interested in your problems. You know that if you want to settle a deal with God you should talk with Jesus Christ first. The same in the army, the sergeant is your personal Jesus Christ. So, any problem of yours is a problem on my dick. I mean the burden of responsibility.
You think that I’m a sergeant because I’m a loser. No way. If I did not break the noses to different kinds of fools I’d be a general already. So, you better keep to yourself that kind of huff I saw right now. The only thing you can rely in this word is the dick of your battlefield comrade.
You think I’m saint but I am accursed as the Devil himself. I took so many sins on my shoulders that I am as accursed as the asshole of the Satan. I killed so many people you did not have sex with in your whole life. You think that it’s easy to kill the men? But, you do not know nothing in your life except the rubber dick each of you have gotten in your rucksack. It’s when different pale figures come to you in the night and ask to explain why you killed them. You think that I’m not dreadful? But, only the God of Jews is more dreadful than myself. You know about the God of Jews? Abraham was his friend. He did not fuck and masturbate until he gave birth to a baby being one hundred years old from a woman about the same age. Do you know what level of testosterone is necessary for that? And, Arabs are his children. Are you afraid of Arabs?’ he asked of one of the women.
‘No, sir.’ She answered.
‘In vain. But, an Arab will put a ring into his ass. He will collect all the infection from the Near East and then come to a place with many people to blow himself up to live his guts on the visitors. All these viruses and bacteria to kill hundreds and thousands afterwards in a slow and sure way. And, you know why? It’s because he’s a son of Abraham. He’s got a level of testosterone big enough to put a curse on your whole family, kith and kin. He’ll curse you and you’ll die. And, that’s your enemy.’ Jack told. ‘Who you are by your nation?’ asked the sergeant of one of the female paratroopers.
‘I’m a Jewess, Mister Sergeant.’ She responded ironically.
‘And, will you kill the Jews if that’s in the interests of US?’ asked Jack.
‘No, sir.’ She answered.
Jack took his rubber cudgel and struck upon her thigh. She fell on her knee.
‘Fuck you!’ she hissed.
‘If you serve in the US army, you should have no convictions of your own. US army is not a charitable organization to provide you bed, board and amusement. Every cartridge and shell costs the money and your task is to kill as many enemies as possible. You should bring profit. If you spent a shell of the value of two hundred bucks it means you should destroy a tank of the adversary that costs many times more. So, you should bring profit. However, you think that the enemy is afraid of you. Maybe, you made him afraid with your vagina. Make a frightening expression.’ He ordered to a woman in uniform.
The muscles on her face twitched because of anger.
‘Unconvincing.’ Jack said. ‘You think that all those Negroes and Latinos are afraid of you? I doubt it. You think that when they sleep in trailers something is able to protect your mansions of twenty bedrooms from their interest. Only such guys as I protect the order in that country. If not for me, some fools would already have killed Mister President of US. And, you miss are you afraid to die?’ Jack asked of a woman.
‘No, sir, I believe in live after death.’ She smarted out to make all laugh. Jack left it without any comments.
'And, you girls rely on your ephedrine. But, that’s just the hormone of mood. To kill you need testosterone and where’ve you get it on the battlefield if not for the dick of your warfare comrade. So, I’ve had a look at what you’ve got in your backs besides the plush teddies. All those different rubber dicks you’ve got in your baggage. That’s what do you rely on? The rubber dick of your warfare comrade?’ Jack put the question to make the muscles jerk of anger on the faces of his feminine recruits.
‘Do you have enough testosterone level? The only way you might be able to kill your enemy it’s if you’ve got a higher testosterone level in your blood. It means there should be more gravitation residing on your sinful souls. I mean the responsibility for the souls of your enemies. Are you ready to kill? I ask you once more, are you ready to kill? That all those souls of your dead enemies should haunt you in the nights to demand why you did it? Those pale figures that cannot find the rest? After you got vaccinated by the doctors with some stuff because you should have a better immunity for the case of a bacteriological war.
You should be heavier in the mere term of gravitation to bring your rival to the death. And, you need testosterone for it. Not the hormone of mood. Jesus Christ had the level of the testosterone high enough to see the future. Are able to see your future in colorful features? What do you see? That your guts do hung on barbed wire of the defense line, or that you stand in glory? But, Jesus Christ was saint. That’s why they’ve done him. But, I am as accursed as the devil himself. To kill me you’ve got to take all my sins on your mortal soul. You should endorse the curse of my life if you’ve a desire to part me with my spirit.
So, what you’ve got to oppose to what I’ve said, you pack of the damped vaginas?’
An officer had made a movement to put forward his foot.
‘All you can do is to poke a rubber dick into the ass of your battlefield comrade. You are worth no more than…’ Jack had time to say what he had on his mind before he saw the women to run from all sides on him. He took the rubber cudgel and took avail of the hand-to-hand fight techniques to make the dames in the GI uniform to get a-lying on the floor in a gentle way.
‘You all the bunch of bitches! I will teach you to stand up in the presence of a gray-haired veteran. Have watched ‘GI Jane’, all that Hollywood stuff. Will the Hollywood film your guts hung up on the barbed wire of the front defense line if you got ‘em up there? I guess that not. It’s enough for today.’ Announced Jack to make the way to his office room through the bodies of the women that stood up from the floor.

The next day a helicopter landed on the platform before the gray concrete building. A black-colored man jumped from it to run off covering his face from the whirl of the dust from the ground. The helicopter flew up and away. The man entered into the building.

Jack sat in an armchair before the wooden table in his office room on the second floor opposite to the newcomer in the civil suit.
‘I’m your superintendent.’ The man announced.
‘I don’t need any superintendent.’ The sergeant said.
‘But, there’s no way out, I’m sent here to look after you in your work with the detachment. We all know that you are good specialist but rules are rules, and we should observe them.’ The black-colored man said.
‘So, you say there’s no way out?’ Jack made it more precise.

The women clothed into the field uniforms marched on their way to the training camp singing a drill song full of military self-assurance. A black-colored woman led the group. They got to the camp.
‘Your task for today is to build a field stronghold from the material over there.’ Jack showed to the heap of logs. ‘Show me what they taught you in the previous places.’
After about three hours the stronghold was ready. All that time Jack silently contemplated the work of the women.
‘Occupy the positions!’ cried loudly the officer in chief.
Jack slowly went along the front line of the stronghold, then suddenly hit strongly with his right hand fist upon a certain part of the construction. The part of the construction between two logs gave the way and the whole log structure went down with thunder to bury the soldiers beneath it. All the women got blocked by the logs but not wounded.
‘Just imagine you’ve got under the artillery fire. I’ve leave you for some time under the scorching sun of the desert for you to feel what it is like in real circumstances.’ He said and left the women coughing and choking of the dust.

The women stood in a dim hall. All of them were covered by blotches and bandages. Jack approached the black-colored woman that had been the chief in the field yesterday.
‘And, you want to scare the enemy by your looks? Not convincible. Your only chance is that the enemy would have the pity on you. Show me your hands.’ Jack ordered.
The woman showed her trembling hands.
‘A shot of anaesthetic once more.’ Jack said.

After some time when the wounds of the women got cured the sergeant called them all to a place with a kind of foundation on which the unmoving body of the unfortunate superintendent lay. A deep hole was dug up perpendicularly to the structure of logs on which the body lay in a cellophane zipper bag.
‘Today, there will be a lecture on the theme of the life after the death.’ He said.
The sergeant opened the zipper bag and took a syringe out of his pocket. He made a shot to the body of the superintendent. The body got convulsing and the black-colored man stood up to make a few steps jerking all over involuntarily. Jack took his gun and shot several bullets to the body to cause it to fall into the hole. The women screamed and ran off.
‘Do you wanna such life after death? Such one I ask you!’ Jack bawled out.
The women stopped in some distance but continued to weep. Some of them leaning forward and covering their faces with their hands.

The detachment was in the camp in full equipment with the special helmets protecting their faces with armored glass. It was the day of training. The women kept on their alert of emotions ready to wait anything from the sergeant.
‘Today, we’re gonna imitate a real fight. Your task is to attack a machinegun dot of the adversary whom one of you will be. I will make a kind of support shooting from the rear for the case if you are too lazy on the crawling to extinguish the fire of the machinegun. All is almost real except the bullets will be the rubber ones. Sound grenades are also allowed. So, let’s start the game.’ The sergeant proposed.
All occupied their positions and the training started. The sergeant shot from one side of the field with the machinegun charged with the rubber bullets and the black-colored chief of the group defended the grounds against her detachment. The rubber bullets whistled above while the group crawled toward the target firing their M-16. However, at the point where the machinegun fire was most intensive the group got stuck to the ground and Jack had to shoot at their bodies. The group moved slowly and some of the women just closed their eyes and ears to stay unmoving. All the same, the rest crept slowly to the point where machinegun was placed. The attackers began to throw the sound grenades to the place where the black-colored woman withstood the offensive with her machinegun. Several sound grenades exploded near her. Contused and discouraged she left her stronghold and ran away dropping the machinegun. Several rubber bullets hit her back and legs. All was over.

‘Today, we will imitate the warfare in the conditions of a nuclear attack of the enemy. Who’s the first volunteer?’ the sergeant demanded.
A white woman raised her hand with a perceptible hesitation.
‘Ok, let’s start. Look at that concrete structure at three hundred yards ahead. That’s the place where the nuclear bomb has just exploded. You should creep by the ground to that place and I’ll comment what happens with your body on the way over there depending on the distance.’ Jack told and the woman began to creep on the ground while Jack went beside and commented her health condition. ‘Two hundred fifty yards: your body first experiences the influence of the radiation. You feel the nausea and noise in the ears…Two hundred yards: your leukocytes are damaged in a way to cause you the leukemia…One hundred yards: your interior organs begin to dissolve because of the radiation rays…Fifty yards: your guts mix up with your shit because your flesh cannot stand the radiation…’
At that moment, the woman vomited and began to weep standing up and throwing away her helmet.

It was deep evening. The sun was about to dawn behind the horizon. The detachment stood up equipped in the chemical defense suits. They had the whole weight of the field equipment on their bodies.
‘Your task is to run ten miles in the night while I will show you the way riding ahead on a jeep. Go ahead!’ the sergeant commanded.
The group ran ten miles in the dark night of the desert. Almost at the end of the way, something exploded and a bluish smoke appeared on the place through which they ran. After the detachment got through it, the women began to swoon one by one.
‘That is a special training gas. It penetrates even through the gas masks. It causes a several minutes condition close to the clinical death for you to be able to see what there is after the death. Let’s look if you’ll meet the angels at the gaits of the heaven.’

The women stood in the hall along its walls. Jack held his place in the center.
‘So, you had a chance yesterday to see what your death might be like. I want to hear if some of you did see angels… Nobody? Ok, now you can imagine what could wait for you in the war. Maybe, you did see the angels?’ Jack asked of a woman who wept and lowered on her knees to cause him the pleasure of love. The rest stood still on their places.

The sergeant chained each of the women onto their metal bunks with handcuffs. They sat on their bunks not in uniform but the underwear. He distributed the porridge in metal plates to them. His eyes met the hateful eyes of a white woman.
‘And, they gave special grass to the warriors in the former days that they should get mad and creep on the walls of the fortresses.’ Jack continued his lecture. ‘And, are you ready to creep up a wall.’ He asked angrily of the defying woman. He took off the handcuffs and put a chain on her. ‘Go, creep up the wall.’ He insisted to make the woman try to creep up the white plastered wall for a while. Then, he took her metal plate of porridge and spilled the contents over her head, shoulders and bosom

The former special detachment officers ran in a file clothed in self-made black gowns. They ran out of the building to climb a transport helicopter. They were all pregnant as could be easily seen. The group of marines moved forward in a battle order. After the quick investigation of the building, the group had to inform the commandment.
‘Where’s that psychic, how do you think?’ asked one of the marines from the other one.
‘Most surely, he went away by the desert.’ He replied.

Two women sat in a coffee shop when an old veteran entered the door. The one of the women got on her feet by a reflex. Then, she got into her own self and sat down.
‘Calm down, Sally. That’s all over.’ Her girlfriend comforted.

Incident

Nancy, an Afro-American super model, took the key of the number out of her small dame bag to open the door. She dropped the key and leaned to take it from the floor. She heard a voice from behind.
‘Miss, I have a request.’ The white man in the uniform of an employee of the reception announced.
She stood up a bit afraid because the man followed her along the staircase for already some time.
‘I’m…’ She tried to say.
‘Miss, If I don’t have sex right now I can die because of a too high testosterone level. Please help me.’ He said in a monotonous voice.
He took her by the wrist of the left arm. She looked with a bit of entreaty and soft astonishment. He forced her to lower on her knees and did the same himself.
‘My name is Jack.’ He informed.
He began to kiss her face while she swallowed because of fear…

‘So, sir, you say that you did it because you wanted it too much and could not help it. I’d like to know what the jury will say on this.’ The police officer said with a smile.
‘But, sir it’s because of all that medical treatment we’ve got in the army. They make us the vaccinations for a better immunity for the case if there’d be in a bacteriological warfare and just to be able to keep alive in those jungles and bogs. And, you’ve got to keep your guts if you wanna not to lose your mortal soul for all that stuff. And, I was just on my dry when I saw this here woman.’ He showed to Nancy that sat on a chair to the right, near the wall. A pair of Nancy’s black-colored bodyguards stood near the door of the office room. ‘When those pair of guys came up to me to pick me up I surrendered myself voluntarily. You know I could defend myself. They taught us in the army how to kill the people…I simply had no money to compensate.’ At that argument, Nancy nearly stood up because of indignation. ‘They’ve demobbed me from the army. And, I’ve got that job in the hotel just a few days ago. You know I’ve got no pension payment. They took all the payment benefits from me. And, those medals. You know what it is like in the army. Once you’ve stood up for a friend or woman they take away from you the salary or medals… And, I’ve got no savings. We’ve always served in the oversea countries and all my savings I gave to some woman that consented to bear me a baby. Three or two thousand dollars is a fortune in those countries with poor economy. And, that’s almost enough to make up for the bringing up of a baby. I often went on leave and I think it’s nothing bad that I slept with those native women. They gave us all is necessary in the army: food and clothing. So, I spent my money on it. And, they said ‘Jack, you discredit the image of the American Soldier.’ And, what about violation I’ve slept up once with a woman in a tropical country. She was in a fever and I had to sleep with her because I’ve got the immunity against it due to all those vaccinations and I had to tie her up with a rope. They nearly sacked me from the army after that.’
It could be seen that Nancy got interest in the man and hardly could dissemble it. The police officer whistled when the computer database gave the personal information about Jack.
‘A medal of Congress and a lot of stuff like this… You say they took it all from you… Yea, the disobedience to the orders of the officers… breech of discipline… not observance of the subordination. Yea, Jack, you’re unruly boy. The jail just weeps for you.’ The police officer said.
Nancy might stay mum no more. ‘You know, officer, I thought better of it. I hardly think it was a rape. It’s all emotions. It was all so unexpected. I think I should take away my application. It was just a mistake, sir. I simply was ashamed for my weakness. We girls often have difficulty to understand our true feelings.’


Shakhid

Maksum sat in the auditorium during a lecture. He put down on the paper the formulae and numbers on the board which had been written by the professor. He did it assiduously and with much care and work of brain.
‘Maksum, what the physics are for a Chechen? And, they say the war is ahead.’ Asked one of his friends.
‘It will be of use by the providence of Allah.’ He answered.

When the federal soldiers killed the sister of Maksum and her husband, Maksum got into the train camp of Shamil Basaev. He crawled beneath the barbed wire, studied how to shoot. Then, he got into the room where he made a kind of world map with the electric lamps on it instead of Nuclear Energy Stations.
That time, the model was completed. Maksum switched the electricity and the lamps ignited one by one. The lamps in Americas ignited because the back induction electricity in the coils connected to them.
‘Right.’ Maksum said.

‘The scriptures say that nothing harmful will happen to the orthodox?’ Shamil asked.
‘It will not.’ Maksum said.
‘Are you ready?’ Shamil demanded.
‘Yes, I am.’ He answered.

Maksum entered into the building of the Arbitration Court of Krasnoyarsk. He had a gun in the pocket of his coat. He entered one of the rooms where there sat a middle aged woman. He put the gun on the table. The woman swallowed.
‘What you want, sir?’ She asked.
Maksum did not answer. A secretary opened the door and saw the gun on the desk. She hurriedly closed the door. After some time the siren told about the police arrival. Maksum saw the cars in the window. He left the office room to stay at the stairs that were almost the only way to the second floor. It was to control the situation. In the gunfire that followed, he killed several policemen with machineguns. Then, he got into the underground and picked the hatch that led to the tunnel of the electric and canalization communications. He went along it some time and got out in the outskirts of the city. The portable radio informed that the city was under attack of the Chechen warriors and the troops moved into the city. Maksum pulled the chart out of his pocket. They gave it to him in the Bureau of the Technical Inventory, where his perfect knowledge of Russian helped him much. He found a manhole nearby and got into it. He saw a hole where the pipes lied, just big enough for him to crawl into. He got into the hole and crawled on his back till a next elevator room. There three vagabonds met him. They drank vodka. They offered him a drink. He refused by a negative movement of his head.
‘Then, doff your good coat!’ One of them brawled.
Maksum doffed the coat and rendered it to the vagabonds. He got out of the underground room. As he knew by the chart, it was necessary to get into the nearby red brick building. He entered the doors of a garage. A gangster asked what was his business in rough tones. Maksum pulled the gun from his pocket and killed all the gangsters present in the room. Then, he took out the hatch in the corner of the garage.
Through the labyrinth of the tunnels he got into the underground nuclear energy station. He took a white robe in the entrance. He went by the corridor. Nobody paid much attention to him. He got into the temperature control small room. Nobody were present because of the news about the Chechen intrusion. He pulled the switches after he closed the door. The indicators began to show the temperature level. Maksum watched the indicator. At the red, the station would blow up. He saw a dream of his childhood when he played with a girl. An explosion ensued.

The nuclear energy stations detonated in the continent by the electric currents resulting from the explosion of the Krasnoyarsk nuclear energy station. The same ones in Americas by the back induction currents in the electric system.

The truck collected those who were still alive in the territories under the radiation contamination. It were several young women. They were scorched with the radiation. They gave them the gowns to cover their faces.
After several months, the women sat in a circle on a place. They were blinded by radiation. The pictures of Maksum could be found in any Muslim state almost on any pillar. One of them took the photo from the pillar. She passed her hand across it and the tears appeared from her blind eyes.


Why cut you off your curls?

Why cut you off your curls?
And no more your hair whirls.
Why have you turned around?
Your eyes I have not found.

Are you shy, or are ashamed?
Or else my love to you is now famed?
You said you had a jealous husband,
And found you excuses thousand.

But guess I now you was touched,
And soul yours was troubled much.
Your heart, it did not stay unmoved,
Although, showed you but puffed.

And know I you as my love,
And cherish I you so, so.
I see you always in my dreams,
Because you’re mine, to me it seems.

But you belong to other man,
And not to suffer whether I can?
I took your curse upon my blood,
And tears flowed by a flood.

You said you could be mistress mine,
But put me off you rather fine.
I came to you and offered date,
I knew I was put forth by fate.

Still, eyes of yours mine did not meet,
Although stood I ‘t fifty feet.
You hid your sight and did not look,
As though did you all by book.

But you should know: will I come
To make you of my kids a mom,
To hold strongly you in arms,
And visit with you neighbors’ farms.

And will I live with you till death,
To this I ever keep my faith,
Because I met you a small girl,
And thoughts of head mine they’d swirl.

I ‘member your blond hair’s charm,
And eyes of yours did bid my karma,
I was unfortunate ‘cause I loved,
I hardly could be called a toff.

I now came to ask my debt,
But said you ‘I’ve another met’,
I paid with ‘probrium for you,
Still, how can I chance to sue?

Your husband was beloved from birth,
But I was pierced with a curse.
He’s possessor due to law.
And what I could pronounce more?

I’m knight that taking off the spell,
His princess did not find well,
She taken was by other knight,
Who did not with the dragon fight.

He simply was a lucky guy,
While heart of mine, it often whined.
I know he was pet of life,
When I to death gave all my five.

You love him much because he’s yours,
When I’m deserted, though durst
To look in eyes of devil straight,
For you in gold render weight.

To whom I’m gonna plead today?
When ‘Occupied I’m’ do you say.
I’ll bring my case toward my God,
Because accept Him as a Lord.

Autumn beauty

Golden beauty of the autumn forest
Comes into my heart.
I’m breathing full my breast,
While wheeling in my cart.

The girl of mine, she sits beside,
I’m trying much to chase off pride.
To stay a calmness, and a modesty.
Not self-expose wish I mostly.

Because I want not be a slave.
Of love and charm myself I save.
Obliged am I to call her mistress,
Due made my nights she rather sleepless.

She’s dainty, accurate and fine,
I’m happy much because she’s mine.
The horse’s harness gently trim
And wake I up because it’s dream.

Why have you smiled a pretty smile?

Why have you smiled a pretty smile?
What would I be for you? A while?
You said you had another boy.
And whether feelings are a toy?

Remember I suggestive face,
The eyes, and of eyelashes lace.
You waited for another step
Of me to you on lifelong map.

But stayed I as a moveless pawn
That’s able not a queen to spawn
In combinations and advances
‘Cause ‘preciated I my chances.

Regretting freedom

You smile at me and look a sly.
I gotten am to web a fly.
Entangled much in charming net.
Against a wall I’m deadly set.

I cannot get to freedom’s range,
Because my strength’s on dead list page.
I’m week as if I’m ass
Obstinacy of whom is now past.

You twine a rope of my guts,
And in my heart a pain but cuts.
I’ll try to get my lips off hook.
My soul’s fate your beauty took.

It’s sweet to get a kiss of poison,
For you I am just a reg’lar venison.
Which eyes of yours have sharply shot,
Bereaving me of rambling lot.

Fatal woman

My fatal woman was you, dear,
When met I you I was in fear.
I tried to ‘stablish good relations,
But treatment yours not stood my patience.

You put the sword to kill the bull,
And soul mine was blood, of, full,
I loved you much as if forever,
To meet you I had been not clever.

I hardly dared stay in presence
Of beauty, charm and pretty feathers.
You was not chicken, not a pheasant,
You was she-eagle, I’m a peasant.

You have a nose aquiline.
I never tried to cross the line.
You have aristocratic beauty,
I’m timid, shy and all the ‘tutti’.

Your body is a sacred thing,
Your charming sight, it gave me sting,
That pierced heart of mine across.
To love you was to take a cross.

I stood between the angry Lord
And you that troubled me by word.
The deep blue clouds bode tempest,
And to defend you am I restless.

I took a blow meant for you,
I was put down not a few,
But many times I had to lift
My body up and to be swift
To listen how counts ten
For devil t’ get of his dark den
To grab me into hands of hell,
Because I touched was very well
By beauty, charm and dark deep eyes
A piece that have been not my size.


Autumn ball

It was a law school ball
In season of the fall.
I wanted you for dance,
It was my life time chance.

I offered you a place
In big an audience space.
Because I wanted t’ woo,
Though feared much to shoo.

But was I bold to
Invite you for a dance.
Still, had I found you
Had other boy romance.

And was I downcast,
My happy dreams were past.
September days were last,
And I began to fast.

Road bar encounter

I met you in a road bar,
You sat at hand, you sat not far.
I looked at you with eyes of wolf,
And your emotions all flew.

You wanted much for me to come,
And ask you something just for fun.
But waited I till ending moment,
And were you ready for a lament.

But, however did I ‘proach,
And ask you as a team, of, coach,
What were your years,
What was your study.
Dissolved your fears,
Good a buddy.

I promised you that we would meet,
But you believed I’d fall t’ your feet,
You waited that I would follow,
But I not let my guts too low.

And, finally, you met me once,
It was of panther frightful glance,
Because I sat there with my girl,
You went so fast the air ‘d whirl.

But, in the end you did repent,
And turned around t’ let me rent
Your beauty, charm and body.
It was not just a folly.

Your eyes did prove my theorem,
That I could make up harem,
Because I labored pretty much.
I hope that’s what made a touch.

Former possession

I possessed your body,
Your soul and your heart,
But ‘twas a lesson t’ study,
Because we had to part.

I was too bad for you,
You were too good for me.
That is of life, a cue,
That I still could not see.

Remember I your smile,
That lipstick did make red.
I’d make a thick one file
How much we lay in bed.

And cherished I your smell,
The sweet one and bit acrid,
That memory my tell.
The one that was so sacred.

We strolled ‘long the street,
Above, there were some trees,
My fingers touched your feet,
I did not pay no fees
For lessons of fine love,
Which I did study well,
As if I were a dove,
My chest it often’d swell.

But there came a day,
Decided you to leave.
I did not have my say,
Had only to grieve.

I possessed your body,
Your soul and your heart.
But ‘twas a lesson t’ study,
Because we had to part.


Young Gypsy beauty

I met you Gypsy youth,
And now have to soothe
My heart before I sleep,
Because I have to reap
The harvest of my dreams,
That are about you,
My soul’s full of beams
That penetrate not few
From image of serenity
That you did possess.
My love is not a vanity,
My business’s in recess.

I asked if you were hot,
According to your blood.
You said that if I’d know,
There should be bed love’s flood.

You said me ‘have your try,
And see how much I’m hot,
In bed we’ll both lie.’
But happen it did not.

Because you saw my wife,
That showed herself well,
And all my fortune ‘n life,
It bade me farewell.

And, pity I that seldom
They can make harem maiden
Of young sweet Gypsy flower
That gripped me by its power.

Italian girl

Your Italian beauty did cast upon a spell,
But I withstood the blow, t’ your feet I hardly fell.
You gave me a handshake and came your way along,
And I was happy much, I did not think ‘twas wrong
To find you in darkness of August stars full night.
For you I was but ready to struggle and to fight,
But they asked me cunning what would I rather think,
If girl was not a virgin and gave me a bad link
To the past of young blond maiden, that did a little fall.
They asked if I but readily such one my wife would call.
It was in that I’d folly to say she was not spoiled to be her twenty-one.
But ‘twas not found fun.
And said I that such sorry was not what’d call I fine.
I said she’d live in harem and be a concubine.
But asked you if ‘t’s not enough for you just to repent.
I found my way off, it did your heart but rend.
The next day saw I well that all night you did weep,
That your young heart, it found not to sleep.
But brothers your from Sicily, they reckoned ‘t all but well.
They smiled, laughed, talked and winked to me, they did not tell
That ‘t would be rather tough to handle you this way,
Because you had been wanton and had you much to say,
And your respectful father, he turned with me in dance.
It showed to me rather, in this he found sense.
And, when I bade him farewell, at conference’s gates.
I knew he loved my character, although not my fate.
He asked wherefrom and how I did down there come.
I told that ‘twas Siberia, and he did shudder some.
‘Twas very, very bad, that different were our races.
And, that Italian girls they love just warm ones places.
P.S. You wept and trembled much in conference’s hall.
I hope ‘twas because was bitter for you t’ fall.
I saw it was a pity that I did make you sorry.
But know you it’s heart and not a cruel folly.
Your name’s translated ‘blessed’ in English simple word,
And to defend this blessing I’m drawing up my sword.

Beauty in a bar

I saw you in a darkened bar.
You were the biggest brightest star.
The seven youngsters hungry
Served you in common ‘n’ ‘sundry
I looked t’ your eyes with calmness,
That showed rather well,
I would not be in harness
And fall under your spell.
I clearly saw you in surprise,
It made not sense, nor matched your price.
That I withstood your beauty’s glance,
As if my heart had strong a fence.
It maybe showed me hard man,
Also showed girl of, fan.
You hardly put together.
Was tough I, beaten o’ weather.
My heart was cool and reason
Prevailed me in all season.
You did not understand,
What want I, t’ what tend.
Perhaps thought you wanted I to change
For you my wife, but saw you strange,
That I hid not my feelings
From woman mine, t’ my wings.
I saw you were upset.
Not little did you fret,
That there was misfire
Of charms of yours, and tire,
It came upon your head
To realize what meant
My strong inviting challenge,
That mixed up with a pledge
Of openness and honor,
Or, sur’ty of my voice’s tone, or
That woman mine felt free,
Accepting us all three.
And showed you interest
That looked I not upon my wrist,
And, watched I not the go of time.
Though gently took a piece of lime.
In that I’d faith in realm of fate,
That t’ continue’s never late.
You were as beautiful as flame.
To watch, it never was the same
As in the company of others,
Attentive young ones future mothers.
Approach my was not a standard.
It was not common way all rendered.
It was for you a cul-de-sac.
You were uneasy as on rack.
You wanted all and not a share.
I felt you clearly in tear.
It was for you a complex puzzle,
To meet the polygamy’s muzzle.
Accustomed ‘re you to be a queen,
Though are you only a teen.
Since saw I that your soul
Was ready for a gold toll
Become my own concubine
To pass the life in harem’s mine.
It was a fix of money,
It was for me just funny
That might I break all down
The filly of a frown,
That sought a realm and power,
The feminism’s tower.
And though slept I not all night,
I knew my doctrine was as right.
But perhaps ‘twas fantasy’s a play.
We were not intimate to say
Few words of life and of intent.
Because away I soon time went.
Still, is most important maybe
That was I not in beauty’s slavery.

The love of a fallen woman

Your virgin gifted you to other one
I tried t’ rebuke, for you it was just fun
You smiled as if you triumphed over,
My spirit hardly could be lower.
You said you’d keep first love all days,
You seemed t’ be happy, glad’s your face,
To him for free your body you delivered.
You asked no guarantees and nothing feared.
He was beloved one, man of first degree.
I felt as Lord in choice of the Eden’s tree.
I was alone, happy no more.
I suffered much, my heart in gore.
Of wound that you had done t’ my soul.
Offences had I big one roll.
I fought the dragon t’ take off curse,
But when returned it was just worse,
You did not wait, you gave you to another.
You did disgrace the name o’ your old father.
You not forgave the Lord that did you punish
For mother’s sins that did your vessel tarnish.
Decided you to take a harlot’s trade
Afraid not that your beauty’d fade
But maybe there was no curse,
You simply love sweet life and thick one purse,
And should I labor t’ make good money,
To pay f’r your past and what was funny.
On charm and beauty you relied,
That I’d be happy t’ keep t’ my side
A woman ‘th infamy all covered,
You was unruly and but wayward.
Still, I decided if just second,
I’d compensate your life past peccant,
And you’d just be number two wife
For me t’ feel comfortable ‘n life.
But you rebelled against this bargain,
The freedom was your secret target,
And you did flee with other guy
That was not like the rule of mine.
He let you smoke ‘n’ drink the wine,
To mud returning pretty swine.
But know I you will accept
‘cum manu’ power, you wept
When met me on my way to find
What’s your intent and what’s your mind,
Because I asked once of my Lord,
Who’ll cut all ties with mighty sword,
If you would give the birth t’ my baby
And saw I young and happy lady
That surely was fruit o’ love common
Of you and me, and went I on
To love you and to try make happy,
To heal your illness with a therapy
Of tender care and of ruling strict,
That you were strong and never sick.
And, know I you we’ll be mine,
It’s just a question of the time.

Princess

I was dirt poor, you a princess,
I toiled, you did live ‘n caprices.
I wanted much to earn your hand,
But all my labors seeped through sand,
Because you wanted free style life,
When I just fought through cruel strife.
By you I was kept in reserve,
As slave I did you all day serve
In study and ambitious work,
But trouble did in darkness lurk,
In that preferred I ugly shame,
Because too hard and strong was pain.
I crossed the border of insanity.
I was too tired of day’s vanity.
I stepped for way of abstinence.
It hardly made at all a sense.
I came through crazy dreams and hell.
What came I through I could you tell.
You were all beautiful and rich,
I hardly could you manners teach.
Decided I t’ exert my will,
Surprised I am that live I still.
Remember I how watched your back,
In heart, love letters thick a pack.
I did not dare t’ come to you,
And on my eyes was bitter dew,
Because the coins were just few,
Still made I all that was me due.
Could I invite you t’ restaurant?
If I would come, it would be wrong.
Because you had another boy.
My love to you was just a toy,
For you to cherish your prestige.
The one that could not ‘stablish bridge
Across abyss, across a ridge.
Your beauty did my wings but singe.
You were a girl of royal blood,
A pretty, sly and cruel tod.
Your boy did ride you in his car.
You were the law school brightest star.
The poor boy’s in tears.
The vengeance eyes, it leers
At happiness of young one couple,
The lucky moments that double
By union of two hearts.
It seems such love it never parts.
But when I drank the cup of curse,
To chase your buddy was you terse.
Preferred you money of much older man,
But days of harlot’s fame first ran
Across the streets, in all the corners.
I heard, it was for anguish learners.
In jaws of death I cast my dies,
But did you not hide your deep eyes.
As if you called me ‘go on’,
In know I was so fond
Of your dark eyes and ruddy cheeks,
Though see I now how leaks
The drop of lament on your face
On blouse of fine linen lace.
The same way saw I you were red
To watch the way my love turned bad.
You were in anger and in shame
Of my mad love and your bad fame.
You sure were that I’d be yours.
That I’d wait calm a pair of years.
But, did I come against the yoke
Afraid not of the chains strong stroke.
You were in pity your design,
It did not come way out fine.
You were a princess, I’m dirt poor,
I could be rich but took life tour
To be a poet and writer,
Of feminism definite fighter.
Because I did not want to buy
The body, did with other lie.
Because the honor is good value.
The dignity is best I tell you.
I could follow dirty suit,
Still I preferred with life a feud.

Promise

Remember I my gentle offer
The one I paid so much for.
You were bit older and charm full.
Your beauty was of success wise tool.
Preferred you surety for risk.
More so, death crone stopped to lisp
About debts of your generation,
Because I took the curse my fashion.
I was a nominated husband,
A so-called, I was a disband
When sins came over to roost
Upon my soul, suffering’s boost.
For you I was a good idea,
That somebody would take off fear
Of family great evil deeds,
That Lord’s great anger always feeds.
I took the blow of Almighty,
Whose angel went along and smiting.
I put my head instead of yours,
Receiving anger of the curse.
But you did say it was just gratis.
I watched you through the wedlock lattice.
You girls did say if I were good
I should in trap put right my foot,
And jaws of hell would hold me fast
For you t’ be happy, t’ stay in rest.
You older were than other girls,
You ordered them and distributed roles.
You kept you t’ distance in shadow,
Not taking stead in distance row
Of skirts and plaits against a boy,
Whose heart your curse it did annoy.
The fortuneteller told you
‘He will not stand, his years are few’.
I was not t’ possess your bodies.
I was to love and come where Lord is,
But I withstood the bite of poison,
Because I loved, that was my reason.
And, when you saw me wounded deadly,
You did come down t’ look me straightly,
And were interested I did live,
For you it was a sharp one peeve,
That I aspired to be your lord,
To find to your heart a ford.
You were too glad I’d be your hire,
To work for you of love strong fire.
But I preferred the dignity
To ways of black malignity.
I’m not a villain, not that low,
I’ll wait till you’ll be a widow.
Though I don’t know who’s your husband,
Tied up to you by curse’s strong band.
Maybe it I who had to die
In coffin I’d all rotten lie.
And, on a taken on a curse,
You did make thick your family purse,
Because you live without trouble,
Sure I am beneath the rubble
Of accurate marble covered tomb,
And nothing bad does over loom.
But I turned up, not claimed my right
For paid by anguish sweet one night.
I bade you gentle farewell,
And no more than sorry’d tell.
I loved you much, I loved you strong
I knew behaved I right, not wrong.
And what is now perspective?
On what kind o’ dreams I’d further live.
By word of God the husband I.
By law of men you are not mine.
I’ll wait and live to see the future,
And over is now torture,
Because I kept my promise,
My heart free now it is,
That I did suffer for your lives,
To come death’s depth as Devil dives.
I’ll now write of you a book.
All you I already, I took.

Nude beauty

How much I’d pay to see you nude.
You drive hard bargain, you’re rude.
And now does it to me seem,
That I’ll see you only ‘n my dream.
I’ll wait till day of my will come,
You will I take to add t’ some
Other beauty sweet ones women
That my big harem will be in.
Or maybe it’s just foolish thoughts?
That have I while my heart all rots.
I cherish much the dreams of past
In which I held you to me fast.
I had you intimate and private.
I knew I’d oust off my rival.
I pondered on your features night.
It was exciting, honey sight.
I loved you as a dame of heart.
I tried be cute, I tried be smart.
But value put you more on money
Than on this sweet love tender honey.
You did not condescend.
It cut my chest, my soul did rend.
But in my dreams I saw you naked,
By force or love you easy taken.
But you belonged to other student.
I was unable t’ break a dent
Between your hands and souls.
Expensive car along road rolls.
Still, kept I all my dreams’ affairs,
No way to show real feathers.
In all day life I did keep modest.
For you it was allegiance test.
You watched how much I’d get along,
Before I’d cry a torment song,
And now what I have to me?
Is my sweet dreams’ face, love I t’ see.
Did touch your body or embrace?
No, that’s not lot of my fate.

Ripe beauty

You were thirty-six,
I was twenty-two.
A queer one mix,
A hard one to woo.
For you it was just merry play,
To throbbing make my heart and wait
To see the effect on my brains.
Platonic put you on the reins.
You were as exquisite a wine
That time makes better, makes it fine.
Your beauty was experience ripe.
You were a slender body type.
I felt uneasy, felt I small,
Though I was bigger, was I tall.
I watched you at all useful moment.
Your charm t’ young lawyer did you lend.
You were as an expensive car
That’s made by years a bigger star.
You were a tender charming ‘mpression.
To see your movements was a pleasure.
I loved to have a talk with you.
I met again my Waterloo,
Because it was hard nut to crack
To find t’ your heart gentle track.
Still, I began to run you after,
And my life turned to be but tougher,
Because you said ‘I’m old for you,
You’re just boy, your years are few.’
I wanted to caress your body.
Your beauty seeing did I laud you.
It was a real harassment,
How much to you I did attend.
Still, you decided not to change,
To stay t’ your husband easy range.
And, I regret now that I wooed,
To put on strange ground ‘ntruding foot.
Would I t’ your husband rather say,
That I am sorry, past is nay.
It did not much of time to take
To realize it was mistake.

Bride

I did not know you for long.
To other did your fate belong.
You were of other man a bride,
The source of personal his pride.
I was invited t’ wedding party.
I shoulda been happy, welcomed heartily.
But grieve did came upon me straight,
Because my fortune was not same.
The virgin was the beauty o’ maiden.
She was an honorable lady.
While I did love the harlots only.
My fortune seemed to be just drolly.
The bride herself played coquette,
Of flirting glances putting net.
And, got I tangled in the web.
I suffered she’d get off in cab
To see through month of honeymoon,
To drown in love, return not soon.
And, have it all with other ‘groom.
You small bright filly, play of doom.
The bride I hardly at all knew.
I did not reckon ‘f loved I you.
But when you were to other given.
My voice did not add to hymn
Of merry song for young sweet couple.
This view, it nearly did topple
My spirit under level o’ ground
Where my soul would be found
Of distress hiding there wretch
Where the memory did fetch
My mind ‘cause I loved just sluts
And served them ‘fore I went all nuts.
The fairy did say me ‘Listen,
She has a younger good one sister.
You can make her the queen of dream.’
But I said ‘No, full at brim
Is my sorrows’ cup again.
It does but pour, it does not rain,
Because it’s hard to lose the love,
Momentarily was it, though.’
And, I was pitiful a guest.
I did not eat, drank not, did fast.
And, young white bride did softly weep,
T’ her mother holding a grip.

Young beauty

You were as young gazelle in prairie,
A slender, small and sweet a fairy,
A youthful beauty full of grace,
Of time and wear no trace.
But felt you strong, me tried to rule.
I disobeyed, you’s anger full.
You threw your jacket on the ground.
‘Do take it up’, I heard the sound.
But I was love front veteran.
Since I first loved, days many ran.
So, did I live your cloth on grass.
Hardly believed you, thought it brass.
You said me, ‘You are ugly freak.’
But then repented, saw you weep.
You asked off me a pardon.
I said, ‘Ok, just go on.’
But maybe were you worth of more,
In that assuaged you my hard sore,
In saying you did give consent
In harem of mine be sent.
I knew of that, you loved me strong.
But maybe was I rude and wrong,
Because I’m not a wealthy king
The many wives make dance and sing.
I’m poor ‘nfortunate lawyer,
Of science granite wretched sawyer.
If I could pay of money’s fine
To buy your body, make you mine.
But mother yours did say, ‘That’s joke,’
And offered ordinary yoke
Of monogamy matrimony.
But you just counted it funny
That polygamy patriarch
Was not a fire, just a spark.
But I will make avail of time,
Collect all penny and all dime
To buy you off your parents’ guard,
To put the filly in my yard.
I loved much that you were not browed
That you accepted me off frown,
That you did play with me in train,
A balm for my distressful brain,
When we were on our way home
From days of fun and play sweet flow.
If have I harem of my dream
You will be only one queen.

Not a virgin

You let dishonor you too early.
You were young maiden, ruddy, burly.
You gave yourself without reserve
To one that hardly you deserved.
It was your sweetest, brightest feeling,
Unspoiled love, the fortune’s wheeling.
The one that turned to be just barren,
That made a cat, to boot a farrow.
You said me first you cherished it.
Then, ‘Young hormones was it fit.’
On my place what a young man feels.
As one served leftover meals,
Who had a hard job in the field,
Receiving not what he should wield.
Can you become my heart first queen?
Come over the ugly sin?
It seems to me you’ll be the same,
Arranged according to your fame.
If I was just a number ten,
Who can you be in my life then?

Graceful virgin

When my sight touched your beauty face,
I knew it was a hard one case.
What should feel I, too tired patient?
Of a refreshing, age t’ age ratio.
You are just young and seventeen.
When I’m a sun-tanned, hard a been.
To boot, you are an honored maiden,
Unspoiled by some swift a raven,
The vulture of the girlish dreams,
The one before me always, seems.
I’m ready you to daily court,
To siege a strong and stone fort.
But first I made a brisk assail.
Not was it total a fail.
You turned your head to say first no
When showed I, I liked you so.
I asked if I could be your friend,
Pretending bridegroom of first brand.
Your age did tell your younger brother.
A year more old, thought I, rather
You woulda been to marry me.
T’ espouse you, to make not free,
For you not to elude my hand,
To my kids tenderly attend,
That you will bear to me many
For me to play and gift a teddy.
And, I am serious ‘n my intent.
My neck, I’m ready to make bent.
Your mother said, ‘You first should prove
If you’d be good under one roof.’
And, I was happy that you met,
And hope for a tete-a-tete.

A repentance?

I came to church to look for bride.
Don’t know I if it was a pride.
I am not young, I’m twenty-six.
With a divorced I was in fix.
But I was left for better one
Even by her, that’s hardly fun.
And, now came I t’ meet a virgin,
As if I was looked through by surgeon,
And said he, ‘If you want be cured,
By a young maiden you’d be lured.’
But when I met you in the hall,
I felt self-confident to call
You out of the people’s meeting.
In friendship question made I peeping,
To know if you could belong
To me, for us to stay life long
Together on the way of fortune,
To look for medicine of torture
Of the unanswered cruel love,
To walk beside each one glove t’ glove.
But you did wave you head t’ say no.
When question my was put on go.
It maybe is you seek young prince.
But I was poor ever since.
Or perhaps, you want a more wise youngster,
Who would lead you to burly tapster,
For you t’ be happy in your fate.
And, maybe I’m already late.
I was not in the church since birth.
I was not born beside some believers’ hearth.
You maybe want a young one preacher.
When devil’s anger is my teacher.
I know I am not ‘t all fresh.
I strove t’ make up for some cash.
But was I disappointed in law,
Because the judges take the money for
What they should protect by power.
But they say ‘It should be our,
What you have earned with bloody sweat.’
The gangsters kill the lawyers flat
When they are seduced by coins,
And they leave of their loins,
And widows young again do marry,
And others take what’s left by ferry
That take the souls to the hell,
Because your life was not lived well.
I could become a good employee,
But turned not ‘nterpreter, nor lawyer.
I could grab what was put at stake.
But did not I at all it take.
Ask honestly what would you feel
If read in Bible ‘Do not steal.’
Decided I to be a writer,
Though belt of mine is now tighter.
But all that is not worth a naught,
For what I so long, I fought,
Because it was to buy sweet women,
And lucky day seemed to be in.
But then I asked if girls I loved
Deserved what had I struggled for.
I knew the answer was a not.
A good one wisdom was I taught.
I lived with a sick harlot.
It was my portion, was my lot.
It maybe was because I’m week
To cure a virgin that was sick
By love of mine that is in heart,
Because a bargain drove I hard.
I wanted t’ have a compensation,
To cover illness by sensation.
But what I reaped was a bad luck.
I was a bad man since I sucked
The milk of my unfortunate mother,
Who was a sinner with my father.
By this exam can get I ‘A’?
‘A good man,’ hardly they’d say.
But say my love did heal three souls
Of girls that were brought over coals
For sins of their own moms
The way the old story comes.
But they did me offer fourth,
The one that was cursed even worse,
And was I ready t’ take her so.
But said you she should have first lover,
Then play a harlot several years,
And be a woman you’d call yours.
I was the husband of a curse.
Her sins I took to cancel words
Of vows that she took on her,
That she would die and be no more.
Accepted I humiliation,
That I was treated ugly fashion.
I don’t know ‘f ‘twas mistake,
And other lot should have I taken.
But I did pity this small beauty,
Accepted I the all of ‘frutti’,
The hell were days I loved those maidens.
When I recall, my heart, it faints.
The fourth was hardest ‘f all,
The weight was hard I nearly fall,
And now they said ‘Good-bye,
Your love was fine, a profit buy.’
I’m bad reputed crazy dog.
My soul’s full of ugly smog
Of fire that did burn for them,
For those that took other men,
And traded love for money lot,
Though only I had fought.
I took the curse, they took your bodies.
I’m free I will not count Sundays
Of the accursed time of mine,
Because I have my happy sign,
And now you did perk your nose,
You nearly did walk on toes,
Because you know you are young,
I am all weathered and the tongue
Of public does sow in the streets
That I was mad, belong to freaks.
But took I what was most hard,
To fast of love, laid hard my card.
And, they know I was crazy,
I worked as horse, I was not lazy,
And how can I count now
For love when I see only frown
On a young maiden’s pretty face.
I am not rich, I played my ace.
I have in sleeve a few of trumps,
But that’s of old wealth but rumps,
Because I threw my pearls to harlots,
And did not have their body lots.
And, one that I did have for me
Was so bad that cost all three.
Perhaps I don’t just deserve
That young fresh maiden should me serve
As wife of rest of my life days.
Perhaps, that’s not place where hap’ness lays.
It’s maybe I can just bit dream
Of you, that’s only, did seem,
Because my purse is much more empty
For that for which I was not tempted.
And, I am ready to put off,
To be meek hearted, to be soft,
And to accept a compromise,
That’s only I have, surmise.
No more I will take a divorced
If I am even strongly forced.
If only they return those four,
Because they are mine, but t’ say more
It happen will when they’d be widows,
Not young and fresh, like first year does.
But maybe will it not ‘t all hap
Because I laid on death’s lap.
But only I was ‘gain risen
From dead in resurrection season.
So, are you widows of my house,
And should not pucker your sweet mouths.
But I, if don’t take a virgin
I will accept the devil’s bludgeon,
And wait to take a widow home,
All covered by her husband tomb,
Because I’ll hardly harlot take.
That’s for her previous husband’s sake,
Because the papers are just papers,
And ‘twain be one flesh’, spoke Savior.
So, how can be not a husband,
The first man who cut the red band
To world of bliss and pleasure,
That hardly can be measured.
So, all that was one flesh in life
Is marriage, take it or strive.
Or maybe still it could be whore trade,
The one for which the heart does fade.
And, will I take her concubine,
To be my mistress, to be mine.
Will only a virgin called
To be a wife, a queen, that tall,
And ready I was to repent,
But now my heart is in rent,
Because I know I was right,
For rightness sake I did but fight.

Only one

You will be my only one.
To understand it long I’ve run.
It will be more of sacrifice.
It will be love of better price.
You will gift me the more of kids
When poverty will be all rids.
It is a feeling of best value.
It is a love will be no failure,
Because I’ll cherish you all life.
All our problems be trifle.
I will have daughters, will have boys.
I will buy pretty things and toys.
We will all go for a trip,
And give a waiter good a tip,
When we will be in coffee shop,
All family, the happiness’ top.
I want to call you only one,
For me it’s sweet and better fun.
I will forget the scars on heart.
I’ll feel a youngster on a mart,
That would buy only one tart,
The dame of better, sweeter card.
I will feel calm and comfort in
My heart, the carousel will spin
Around and the kids will laugh.
All will be good, all will be safe.
And, you are younger, I am older.
But that’s a barrier that’ll molder
By my love t’ you, and your love t’ me.
We all will live, we all will see
The happy days, the happy weeks,
That’s for my heart, that’s what it seeks.
It will be happy, clear union,
For better feelings strong a tuner.
You will my house always tidy,
I will be meeker, will be mild.
I’ll feel that I am such a husband
That chose you from girls a thousand
To be the only one queen,
To be my wife, that’s what does mean.
The silence will b’ broken by kisses.
Such love it never target misses.
The kids will play, the kids will jump,
And after their first step tumble
In tender hands of a blond lady
Whose beauty will be never fading,
Because she’s loved, because she’s mine.
What can be better and more fine?
We’ll sleep in bedroom only two.
For this I will you patiently woo.
I love you much, this write I send.
I know it is not an end.

Envy

I tried to conquer you all over.
But you were faithful, were you sober.
You kept allegiance to your man.
How much of time, how much of sand
Seeped through since first we met
When sat we straightly tete-a-tete.
It was for me a mere fete,
Because I thought you was in net
Of my inviting tempting words.
That woulda led you to my fiords,
To den of pirate of ocean.
I tried to wake up your emotion.
But you did answer t’ my invitation,
‘Maybe you’re better t’ my sensation,
But I do love him, he is mine.’
It was to my heart sharp a tine,
Because I envy he whom seen not.
In that he had a better lot,
Because his girl is faithful one.
It gave my soul weight of ton.
And, even when I tried to date,
I knew it was not mine a fate,
Because she said I’ve jealous boy.
It was t’ my heart of lead alloy.
In that I felt a bitter envy,
Because I had clear in my savvy
That you had good and truthful wife.
And, what had I at all ‘n my life.
I had a poisonous savor,
Because that’s you who was in favor
By this young beautiful blond maiden
By love to whom my heart is laden.
And, I did pity my life days,
That is not such one my own case.
But hope I, I’ll have the same,
A young blond beauty of other name
That would make my tongue a bit lame
To say her how much I’m maimed
By her coquette, by her sweet flirt
Of same, of very same, same sort.
And, I’ll forget my former dream.
I will embrace her body slim.
And that’s a real, truthful hope
That this time will not have I ‘nope’,
Because I met already her,
The one whom will I clothe in fur.

Repentance

I loved too many girls.
I loved them platonic and fleshly.
I promised gold, promised furs.
I tried to build relations.
But they were the others’ wives
In our existence’s hives
So dense that hardly can we share
Whose girl it is, whose fur she’d wear.
Some girls want to be loved by many.
Some want to have just one and steady.
Boys want to have diversity
That’s offered by the life of ‘varsity.
Some want to have the harems
As strong-horned mountain rams.
Some girls want to have a lover,
To add to her meek husband.
What can make her more sober?
To be a faithful, rather.
We run against and we compete
To get what other possesses.
It makes the bitterness of sweet.
It teaches us good lessons.
And, I repent that I loved the women
Belonging to the other men.
That tried I to make real the seeming.
To make real what was meant
By jokes of flirt and hints of sin,
By dreams of the unanswered love it seems.
I loved and that was sweet.
It was a bad thing which I quit,
Because not able to construct,
I tried to interfere and corrupt.
And, now I repent and what’s my verse?
There’s not much of allegory, even worse.
There’s bitter truth of real life.
That wanted I to have them four and five.
But now want to have just only one
To be of many happy kids a mom.
I want to have her virgin.
That she belong to no one more,
Because I have a strong allergy
To fight for what makes sore,
Because it’s hard to share a woman,
And there should be a strict rule,
That any honest gentleman
Should have just one, that’s full,
Because we marry and divorce
And children suffer and lose force
To believe in happiness and dreams
Of ideal love surrounded by beams
Of happy honesty and surety,
Of simple and firm reality.
Due we should not struggle;
Two men for a woman,
Because it always turns out ugly
And we are disappointed fully.
What is this poem intended for?
To cure disease, to balm a sore,
Because we should forget those
To whom the others gave the scarlet rose,
And seek for what there’s for us,
Not to create a stupid fuss
Of many men around a woman,
Because she leaves them all but sooner
Than they want or apprehend
And take again the other hand,
That makes a virgin to be a harlot.
To possess her becomes a maggot,
Because she attracts us by her easiness,
And makes us lured, reasonless.
Who could be happy in this carousal?
Owing a madam is not a mademoiselle,
And if you want to oust a woman of a marriage,
That is a too bad example, to hell a wicked carriage,
Owing she leaves that who paid for her youth,
To take the one that fasted to get her, is it truth?
The war, it always damages both parties.
If you are senseless, you are heartless.
Forget the woman if she’s the other’s.
Don’t make the mistake of your fathers.
Look for a young and beautiful maiden,
Because that’s a best one to make a lady,
And forgive me that I was monotonous,
That I was not full of intrigues,
On account I know what I say,
Because I suffered long to find a bay
In which I could put my weathered ship,
And to be happy, no longer weep.
You do not wish the woman of your neighbor.
Then will you find the God’s favor.
You do not wait for her to be a widow,
To take her in your harem, say no.
You better pray for that one to be happy,
Who holds her tenderly and in his lap.
And do not say, ‘I cannot rule my heart.’
You better rule your reason, that’s not hard.

Accursed

I was accursed by those whom I loved.
That is all natural that they made it so,
Because I was but needed to drink a beverage
That was for them to the happiness a bridge.
What was my fault? Not hard to realize,
Because they said, ‘We love you,’ it was lies.
They said you wait for us while we’ll to the others be married,
Then we’ll be yours after a little tarrying.
But they laughed that on the insulted ones the water is carried,
And they consulted a witch instead of a fairy.
And, I consented to love the future wives of the other boys.
How did not understand I? That annoys.
That I was to wish the wife of my neighbor.
And, that accursed beverage had a bad savor.
I should have waited for each of them to be a widow,
To wish the death of their husbands very slow.
And, now I repent and ask the Lord forgiveness
That I was so stupid, so reasonless.
They said I was the husband of a curse,
Who was named so only for a hearse
To take him off along the way to the tomb,
To wait for a Judge to value him in the day of the doom.
That was my role, I took the evil
On myself, and I tried not to snivel.
And, now I’m afraid to ask my debt,
Because they are too much in red
To me because I died for them,
And they thought that I’d be a dead man.
And the dead they don’t ask the debts,
They just lie and rot in their dens.
But I was resurrected by the Lord as promised,
And now have I of the pretences a list.
But, I’m afraid of the evil I have done,
Due my debt is to make their husbands none,
Because according to the bargain that the Lord and the devil testified
I should have the harem of widows to be mine.
I was the most wicked, wicked one.
For me to take the curse was just for fun,
Owing for me it was a way to earn my right
To possess those girls for whom I did fight,
And now the husbands of those women are held hostage,
Because I may pray for the curse to come on each of them by the postage,
The postage of the hell with the stamp of the devil,
The stamp that put I on my heart when I had seen your naked navels.
I was seduced and played on the pain of those whom I loved.
I thought my rivals should be shoved
By the devil, who was a part of the contract,
That should have sent your husbands to the cemetery tract.
It was too good a bargain I did suffer
In that I knew that my future would differ,
Because a man, he always take what he paid for,
That’s the rule of the heaven and of the hell, that’s a law.
It was a very hard a deal to carry on.
It was too serious. Could I play a dying swan?
I took the pain that you were happy.
Your boys were lucky and not sweaty,
Because they were protected by the days of grace,
Aware not that they’d taken the women of bad race,
Accursed since the day of the birth,
Not able to create a warm and comfortable hearth.
You were as the calves fed to be slaughtered.
You knew not what was the matter
With those beautiful young flowers
Poisoned with the venom that turns up the bowels.
But I took all the suffering on my person.
I was not afraid to play with the curses
Because I knew what was my profit.
They promised me to be my wives when all you would be in coffins.
I worked too much to pay for such a harem,
And never asked I the protection from Mother Mary
Because I knew that my evil business was legal,
The husband can take the sin of his accursed wife; that’s all
That I took as the weapon of my strategy,
Though for me it was very damaging.
Six years of suffer and of pain.
How often wanted I to wash it off under some cleansing holy rain.
The seventh year was the year of the mourning
Because I knew it was a morning
Before the day of anguish and rack.
The day when I had better just to strew the ashes on my head and get in the cloth of sack.
So, now what have I earned and is waiting for my rivals?
Because we should not hide that they knew also
What they would have paid for the love of those girls and who was next in the row.
But I was the most wicked one of all
Because afraid I was not below to fall.
I was allured by a profit bargain stamped with a curse by the devil
And waiting are for your weak bodies many a raven.
But I repented of the evil I tried myself to avail,
Though knew I that my count would not fail
Because recall I of my grand-granddad’s bad example,
Who was of wickedness too good a sample.
He got avail of the tragedy of a wretched poor harlot
In the land of far, in the lands prepared for the fagot.
The woman was a sick one and unfortunate.
She poor was and got into his rude net
Because what wanted she was just a baby.
Her former man held her in a humiliating slavery
And did not want to have the kids by ruse.
He offered her unnatural a use.
The old soldier decided he was the judge.
But what he offered her except a baby was the fudge
Because he ousted her from the hands of the young nobleman.
But then began of the days a dreary run
Because he had a family back home.
As a strong stallion’s mouth is in foam
Of the sight of a young filly
So was he unwise and had to get away willy-nilly.
They said he wanted to stay and protect that land of the foreign.
But there came too bad news, a change of reign.
They said that the soldier had to back home return.
That was a bad but much predictable a turn.
They said he was too drunk seeing off his friends,
And they tied him up and packed to be sent to his lands.
And what of a poor sick Armenian harlot with a beautiful baby on her arms?
They despised her and did not want to take her a maidservant into their farms.
The one said she was killed by the Turk along with her baby in her hands.
The other say she found a husband and refuge in other lands.
That is a dirty blot on the honor of my house.
And, what if I’m the same and on the problems of others I do browse?
I met the girls who were all sick because of their mothers’ sins.
For me it was to make a harem the good means.
I tried to make a profit on the unhappiness,
I tried it not without success, a heartless.
And, now can I ask of the devil the souls of those men?
For them to perish and to be sent into the hell?
But pray I that the Lord did not put to the hands of the Destroyer
What he has connected with His hands royal.
I pray that they were happy with the beautiful females.
I pray as if I have the power, perhaps my reason fails.
And was I just punished for my own greediness.
A stupid, heartless, reasonless.
I don’t know maybe that is true.
I only say that I repent, I rue.
And want that of the curse the word
Was cancelled and made void by the Lord
Because I know that it happened word by word
What was then bargained through the bloody dirt.
I pray that they stay with them.
Though, I also loved them, loved them then.

Swarthy beauty

It was a summer night of coolness.
It was a season of much bliss.
I met you and you held you stern.
But was I taught, but was I learnt
How to bring down too much haughtiness
Of young girls whom I did miss.
I was a polygamy thinker then.
It seemed to me it made an honest man
Of me, because I did not want to leave
The one with whom I’d been in fever
For a bit fresher and more younger item
Of feminine beauty, did not make it lighter.
So, I was confident of myself.
The one could be acquired, the other was not left.
So, looked I ‘t you in full my gloat,
Afraid not t’ gently sway the boat.
You first held out, was self-assured.
Then lost your temper, being lured
Into the ‘xchange of glances and expression.
I bet you realized it was digression
From modern ways of life and matrimony.
And was you passionate, was it not ‘t all phony
For you to wish me, and for me to wish you
Because it was an easy meet in view.
But you did squat and weep before the scene
On which a singer sang, the age of teen.
‘Twas maybe ‘cause we should depart
Because the destiny made not you part
Of my tomorrow life and of the future
And our short love was taken by a rapture
Of much ado about nothing of the life,
As if the tie was quickly cut by knife.
The tie that was about to connect us,
But life did turn again just lax,
Not able to create a union of two fates
That met untimely, met they late.
But most probably you wept because you pitied
That you would have to share me in pieces,
This day for you, that day for her,
Though mine a part was bit of fir.
You wept that I was such a man
That loved not only one but maybe ten
And wanted I to conquer each,
To be as seal on the snowy beach.
It made a puzzle for you, made a problem
That was to be solved quick not slowly.
But you was lost, was in a confusion,
You did not have a clear vision
Of what to sow and what to reap,
And instead of smiling you did weep.
And, I just watched your pretty feet.
I knew that hardly would we meet.
You were at thirty feet in crowd.
I held my girl and did I stand my ground.

What is the truth?
(The voice of insanity)

What pity that I am alone
And nobody calls by phone.
There’s no pity, not at all.
That’s just the matter of the fall,
Of its gold leaves that get on ground
That’re gray ones in the spring time found.
It will all rot, it will all get a-burning
In a bonfire of a heavy learning
Of what is life, of what is love.
And now those gold leaves are doffed
To clean the trees for the hoar of winter
For a lace magic to be played all wilder
With each frost and each blizzard.
And whether I am a green lizard?
To be adapted to the temperature of the season
To get my heart all frozen and to be ruled by reason?
But I do miss the things I did not know
As if forgot I something far ago
I’m lonely and am deserted by all them
Whom did I cherish, now farewell.
I gave them the divorcement’s writs,
The curse’s husband of bad wits,
Because I loved for my own damage
And now I in my past do rummage
To fumble for the roots of future fruits,
To find out who were angels, who were brutes.
Because I want to see my future destiny
In visions of the dreams through scrutiny
Of the Almighty God who censors our fates
According to His knowledge equitability rates.
And, now I’m alone, I have not woman
Because I’m slave of the Almighty Goodman
And He decided I should stay this way
Of my past sins to know what to say.
What waits for me ahead of lifelong road?
A good result or just a boat
That would carry me on by the river of the death
To teach me to wish not more but rather less.
Because I rebelled ‘gainst the Lord
And struggled for the immortality a lot.
And, what I have now all around me?
Much things to pity, much to make me free.
It was a chance, it was a fight
But Lord did show by his Might
That I am just a gutless worm
Whose life’s conditioned by a term.
And what I have except my scars?
To argue with the Lord, it does add stars?
To the epaulettes of the officer of the God.
I was smitten, was broken by the rod
Of that One who is above in the heaven.
One that does not like the human leaven,
Of Pharisees, Sadducees and mere lawyer
As was I one before I put to drawer
The diploma that taught what’s right
Through ways of human reason’s light.
I’m disappointed in all these things.
The God has cut a bit my wings.
I have no money and no ordinary ways
To conquer lipstick, earrings and lace.
I’m just a poet of what a love should be
No more intrigues, a straight way of a bee.
But they left me lonely accursed as the one to die.
I hoped just t’ survive and not with them in bed to lie.
I met some girls of much of curse on them,
Some were just eight, some nine, some ten.
Their reason was to make me husband by the word of Lord
While others were to make them happy and afford
Their bodies not by way of curse, but by the power of beauty eyes.
It was my bargain to get worse, I was offended by the lies.
Still drank I up the cup of the accursed beverage.
For those girls it was a leverage
To settle right their problems in life.
I was allured that I’d have at least them five
When their lovers would all die because of something
As girls did say me putting off their breathing.
And, all those years according to the deal of curse
I was their husband to create it better and not worse.
I cancelled their vows of much anger ‘gainst the Lord.
I took your sins on myself, now punished by a sword.
I was a husband before the God as you did say,
To make all right the future life’s the way
While other men would be your husbands by the law of Caesar.
All those years I suffered for your sins when I did cancel curses on your souls,
And now I give the spiritual writings of divorce, no matter if it’ll add the tolls.
Because I’m tired to suffer for what I did not possess
I know I will be more happy, and unfortunate less
I held that burden all those ugly days
According to your plot I’d be along the cemetery ways.
Because you said, ‘He will die because of our curses
And we will be pure widows of good money sources
The widows never known by the husband of the curse and the word of God.’
And you were glad for your witchcraft, you did yourself belaud.
Or maybe I’m not right, am wrong in all my wrath?
Perhaps you were conserved as virgins by the truth?
And all your marriages were just false?
Because the Lord conserved the honor by His walls
Against the fornication of much says
By only His known strict ones ways.
Because I know that you said me straight
That all your teasing was a kind of the shock therapy made
To bring me out of the land of suffer and insanity.
‘You will be shocked by our clean faithfulness, you dainty.’
And, now I don’t know whom t’ believe,
My eyes that show you are as harlots or the brief
And simple thought that you were all lesbian
To wait for me and my hard days of ‘probrium
Because I really believe that the Lord would not let my brides to be in a defile?
And, whether have I of your lives a file?
And, whether know I that you were truthful?
And, wanted you to make my happiness a full?
I cannot rebuke, I cannot appraise,
I cannot pronounce the simple one phrase.
That I believe in your honesty and your honor,
No matter how much you tried to be covered by a faked dishonor.
I simply cannot believe my happiness.
Did it preserve you that you were lesbians?
And, what for your presumed husbands?
Were they the eunuchs whom the destiny now disbands?
I suffered for a harem, and nobody else did want to share my suffer of the sexual forbearance fast.
So, what a surprise if I get what I earned in the last.
I am sorry now when I am on the brink of the knowing of the verity.
I’m sorry that I called you harlots, say I in much brevity.

Mary

You were named simply – Mary.
You were a kind fairy
That ready was to make
My dream of honey lake
To come alive and true,
Though now I do rue,
Because I said good-bye
And all my words turned lie.
You promised me to be a second.
My life about was t’ be fecund.
We had a night’s negotiation
Of stressful love a long duration.
But she who later did betray
Was stronger and did say her nay
To cancel promise of much hope.
She made me say to my dreams nope.
She was more beautiful and cruel
It was a strange of two girls duel.
And she was stronger and more sharp.
The Amour did just drop his harp.
The strongest threatened her departure.
The one that held my soul in capture.
And, I stayed faithless to you Mary,
And vengeance did not long to tarry.
I was just forceless, was as rag.
Of liar I received the tag.
Or maybe I just pitied that
Who was a sick; a tit for tat
Between two dames I did allow.
And, did I not keep my own vow.
It’s maybe all fruits of the past
Of which I try to find rest.
I lost you both in the final
And now am as old lion
That did lose all his young females,
And now his strength only fails.
Still, hope I that I’ll recover
What lost I, what is now over.
I’m lonely, that’s punishment for treason,
But hope I for other fortunate season.

Preference

I had approached you to find
What was your heart, what was your mind.
I did you ask, ‘You would me marry?’
And you did not t’ demand me tarry
What would the lot of mine be like.
It put between us deep a dike,
Due being yet a little lad,
‘The prophet of God,’ I said.
You laughed in anger, hating pose,
‘A stinky goatskin in froze!
But better I do curse my beauty
Than be a wife of you, good booty!’
Then saw you one that crossed the street,
‘That’s who to be my husband’s meet.
His dad’s the director of trust,
He’ll build me house, that’s be must.
His son himself will be an engineer.
To marry him, I have no fear.
While you are doomed to be just poor.’
And, saw I that I had small lure
For that but pretty, pretty girl.
The dream of mine - to happiness hurl.
But, she just jerked the son of rich man,
While he was big-eyed - ‘How can?’
As if it was her mainly asset,
To brandish to the face to set
Idea of which did prevail
In world, and what did fail.
But charity it never fails.
I’ll build my road of the rails
To find that one who’ll be mine,
To walk with me along the line.
Regretted much I her whose name,
Was beautiful the same as her, for Jane.
What is to me just left to do?
To love and hope, need I, too.
To pray for her – if that is sin?
And to be fond of her, what’s mean?
I leave all that to God Almighty,
And, we’ll I pass my days then lightly.

Parting with the one that never was mine

The last time it was when I saw you, your slender body.
The dean distributed the diplomas; somebody looked in from the lobby.
I loved you but it was a crime,
Because you chose to be the other one’s, not mine.
And, that’s a sin to love the woman that is the neighbor’s wife.
No matter if she changed them four or five.
The Lord punished me hard for all my feelings.
The bridges are burnt, the lot cast in is.
I had spotted you many years ago; you were in a blue sweater.
I thought that was a good girl to love, what might be better.
Maybe, it flattered you that I fell in love with your person.
I waited you to get tired with another boy under this sun.
But, could I brook it no more long:
The shame of being faithful ‘n’ lonely, the aim of evil tongue.
And, was I sick and ugly in the sight.
To bear it I used all of the worn out might.
And, now sat I just beside you in big hall,
A lot of people, off me divided by a wall.
A wall of choice, venture ‘n’ bravery, very tall.
A wall that was constructed by a painful fall.
The fall from sanity to madness, when it’s all.
Still, had a hope and believe and strong a call
To get my seat beside you, where’s warm.
To feel your flavors, profile and form.
But, you were red with shame,
In that had turned it ugly way.
You were ashamed by love of mine to your so dignitary self.
Was I on my unlucky part a shrewd and clever elf?
No, I was just desperate and freedom seeking wild horse
That jumped into the canyon bottomless, afraid not of the worse.
To save itself from slavery of the corral,
To substitute to compromise a deadly snarl
When pain is such that cannot be just borne,
When flesh is killed and body is all torn.
But, now sat I just near your pretty body ‘n’ soul,
The pleasure that I paid for with so frightful toll.
But, you were red in cheeks and whether in a blame.
To watch beside you a black sheep, a duck that’s lame.
And, ask I of my conscience just one question.
You were ashamed because I was too low to give kiss to your chin?
And, me all getting only more low and beneath
Not worthy was for the first or second kiss.
I wanted t’ give the sweet one kiss, but heard I serpent’s hiss.
And, ‘stead of pleasure had I pain and anguish
When fangs of venom cut down on my wish.
Felt you disgraced because you were loved by one who passed through madness?
The one who wanted to forbear of the sin of substitute of sex, a careless.
I was all weathered, but the suffering did make more noble my heart.
I was afar in ocean, in still and storm, without a chart.
I could not turn my back on sense of honor and return
With tail among the legs, on contrary I was more firm.
And, now I again put question of the very same.
You felt ignominy because my love in public came?
What is the reason of red cheeks?
My waiting of the countless weeks?
That turned a principle on my unfortunate side.
And, felt you no more the power and pride.
I guess, and now I know why you hid your eyes.
It is because you were the woman of too small a size
For such a love and such a passion,
Your own principle for love is ‘cash on’.
You could not credit the bid of that who labored hard,
Because you sought for money, not for heart.
And, now the dilemma’s broken with its horns.
I know though tried you to follow your game,
I was no more a second choice of bad fame.
You could not make that design of yours to come all true,
And, that was undoubtedly reason you did rue.
I did not come to dancing party of the termination of the law school.
It was because I did not see much future, everybody deeming me a fool.
I lost my chance t’ invite you for a dance.
I was just desolate, but now a freelance.
I let to go off the possibility to hold you in arms,
And, maybe I will never see you, no alms.
But, what I want and ask of God by any means,
Demand I that the Lord forgive me those my sins
That born were by that feeling of affection,
Of love that could not be effectual.

Feminine sailor

I do not know your name, and never did.
I know not where you came from. Isn’t it?
You were in a sailor’s vest, long as a dress.
You smoked a cigarette, a bottle of beer and the rest.
It was as if you gave out a Save Our Souls signal.
As a ship that was in a distress: storm, hurricane and all.
I had a pity on you and maybe a love. Who knows?
You were all pretty, hair, face and even varnished toes.
I prayed for you and felt the Holy Presence
Of the Almighty Spirit o’ Love. Came it whence?
Of course, from heaven because the Lord also did you pity.
And, maybe love. Though might not you him bias, however dainty.
The presence of the Lord was so powerful and strong
That even singer on the platform in half voice sang his song.
What will then come of all it, just a glimpse?
We’ll maybe never meet again to me it seems.
Though prayed I that the Lord gave you to be my woman.
But lonely I am and poor one, and days just go on.

The young lady in the tax office

The visit to the tax office made I early that day.
I was prepared to get digging in the dirt of the bureaucratic sway.
But what I found was a diamond of excellent beauty and charm.
Though hidden it was under the image of the law long arm.
You were tired of the work of bills and numbers.
I bet you longed so strong to get dissolved in slumbers.
But, Jesus said let’s give to Caesar what is Caesar’s.
And, you were on your duty to watch after the misers
That did not want to share their pennies and pounds,
Because in such ones the land just abounds.
There was no coquetry or the play of the femininity.
There was just seriousness and perhaps dignity.
Was there a chance for me to try to get acquainted?
I did not fret because of fear and not fainted.
Then, what divided us so heavily and so far?
It was maybe that did not want I of your mood to mar.
Because I have a reputation of the man that is but tough.
A man not to consent by compromise to spoil love.
A man that tried not to live as did live the hypocrites and all.
A man that was knocked ponderously but did not fall.
A man that preferred the opprobrium of insanity
To the slavery of the sin, vainglory and vanity.
Because almost all are the members of a club,
When woman of the one sleeps with another the time he is in pub.
It all begins to be accepted in the childhood and youth,
The thought that all the rest do live the same, it only does soothe.
But I did not arrange with all those girls I met, to act as did the all.
They hated me because of it and sweetness was done over by gall.
I was accursed and they wished me death and suffering.
Still, was I true toward my Lord and that’s which is the thing.
But, people laughed of my attempts to make along without women.
The sin himself is not at all indulging and bit clement
When do you fight against it tempering your flesh.
And, net of sickness and insanity did take me mesh by mesh.
That’s why I could not be just full of humor and a playboy.
I knew it was my way and offer to divide it, only t’ annoy.
There was a wall between me and that girl that was industrious, not lazy,
Due first thing she would heard of people would be, ‘He is crazy.’
So, I just keep your memory so deeply in my heart.
I wage my war against the sin by being man of art.
I want to write how I lived by the Bible.
Owing I have to defend being a Christian title.
There was no possibility for an amusement or a romance.
Because the atmosphere all around me is so hard and tense.
I feel uneasy because instead of love I preach the suffering.
But, whether is it easy to acquire a wedding ring?
A woman wants to be known by as many men as she is able to attract.
You better do not argue with that wisdom, that’s a fact.
And, if you do not want to be the member of the promiscuous club,
It’s hard to find happiness and second half, your hands you do not rub.
You maybe will now call me damping cloth and bore.
But, I am just for pure love, that’s what I did fight for.
I know I began to tell a tale about romantic feelings
But slowed down and turned off to other things.
Still, all that only for you to understand
Why could not I to offer her my hand.
I might just love that dark and full of beauty eyes.
The ones that are so deep as is the sea. And, whether wise?
I do not know owing to mask of the official status.
And whether women did collect the taxes in the time of lotus?
I am a black sheep for all the people in my village.
Because I dared to be free, but might not manage
The power of love and passion, and of sweet sensation.
And, now should I have you told of the assuaging.
But, tell I of the pain and trouble, all needs patience.
You are so beautiful and so deeply precious,
Though cannot I love you in open and to confess.
I still do cherish you and pray and pain of heart is less.
I did not see the wedding ring on your all gracious finger.
But, maybe you are somebody’s? What sings the singer?
You are so slender and of accurate fine features.
Your beauty should be taught but whether it not teaches?
And, whether you are virgin to be wife of priest?
The man that’s held by the Lord’s strong fist.
I know nothing of your origin and situation.
Of my love barely I did at all till now mention.
I know only that if it is the will of the Almighty God,
To hold you in arms as wife will be my luck, my lot.

The woman in the weeds of future

The banking hours were still in their full,
The clients played with money by the pull.
The deposits and credits, moves of money:
You are interested in the coins muddy?
I’m not. Because what came I for?
To watch a woman on first floor.
She opened me a nominated bank account
To transfer certain green amount.
She had too many rings on her sweet fingers.
And, that one which gives jealous ringers.
I though I am doubted to be the prophet of Lord.
I saw her in the weeds of black, to add accord.
Accord with the death of the clearing of debts.
Let’s not to doubt it at all, let’s, let’s.
I will make her sit into a blackish car,
To ride her to eternity, that far.

White boots

A pair of boots for a pair of foots:
The symbol of free femininity.
That question the modesty moots,
But is left to days of calamity.
How can I take those white sharp nosed boots?
Only by the tomb stones and cemetery flowers.
How can we judge that One who loots
By known only by Him powers?
We should not do so if want to stay alive.
If want to stay before the abyss of the hell and not to dive.
How can we doubt the black power of jealousy?
No way. It is the way of leprosy.
So, keep mum, hush, hush.
The death is going on with its fiery slush.


Exchange

Her glance is of Amour dart’s lance.
Let’s meet at certain time at dance.
Let’s play in love with a woman of sacred purity,
Not defiled by the shared cakes and black tee.
I crossed your way because you left the root.
It was to show my smile was counted as good.
Though was it evil and even jeering.
You should recognize it in safe fearing.
What can you offer me? A curse?
I take it to be laconic and terse.

Count-out

One, two, again, again, three
Only death can make you free.
Four, five, again, again, six
To be maidservant you should mix.
Seven, eight, again, again, nine
The life in harem is fine.
Ten, eleven, again, again, twelve
You should be shrewd as little elf.
Thirteen, fourteen, again, again, fifteen
Try to guess what it does mean.
Sixteen, seventeen, again, again, eighteen
You should be fat or should be lean.
Nineteen, twenty, again, again, twenty one
To believe in Jesus, it is fun.
God is son and God is Father
Whom do you prefer rather?

Funny day

Funny day is full of clay, no doubt hot.
Who is mine and who is hers, and who is just a not.
You should go all the way to the place of hope.
Do not hurry, do not wait, do not mean a nope.
It is funny, no sense, just some dirty image.
You should know it is fret, it is biting midge.
You feel hot and you feel fun, you are full desire.
And to add a little fun is to fuel fire.
I do know you are chest, fallen all day long.
But to come to meet my day you should sing a song.
No sense and little rime: all along the road.
Fine and finer, finest line that will take up toad.
It will take it by a hook, just to pick on bait.
Do you catch it, do you bite, do not even wait?
If you want to be a princess, first the spell is gone.
There’re so many ugly princes, and only one Don.
So, what to choose does virgin, honor or the death.
She has dreams and she has body but the time all less.
I will ask you into castle that will come along,
Long the line as does the vessel, here rings the gong.
Where’s castle does my hidden be put on the rock?
In the Spain, you are just ridding that I have to mock.
Understand you all that question: be or not to be?
Be you be, but nowhere take the little bee.
What the fun to make a poem that has no sense.
Try to see the image, voice – try to see here hence.
There’s princess in the desert in the refuge camp.
She pretends to be a wizard holding the lamp.
Who should go in the darkness looking for the key?
It is I, who else is crazy to go ‘gainst the lee.
What is lee? A general Lee? No legal fee.
Is to pay a lazy boss that should be not free?
Do not curse against the Lord, do not say He’s three.
It is stupid, it is loss, God is one, it’s even thee.
You feel bad, and I feel good, who is then the Lord?
Only that One who is free to pronounce ‘fraud’.
Fraud for fraud and good for good, even till the end.
And the Lord if He takes fee, He will later lend.
Lend for percent, lend for fun, even for interest.
To play chess is just bad stuff, you should know, Miss.
Misses, Misses, you are Miss? Where’s your good Mister. Here? Hiss.
There’s no Miss only a Mister. Misses, Misses you were bad
To make hasty choice, blood is blue and blood is red.
Here lies the voice. What the voice? That of death
That is calling swiftly. Come my Dear, come to bless.
It is hard? Then, priestly. You are virgin. I’m a man.
Go to embrace me. I did suffer for the plan.
Fortunate is the Mistress.
Why she’s fortunate? She is Miss, simply ‘twas a play.
When the husband is all dead, we will say Ok.
That is cruel, that is bad, do you accusation?
I feel now you do feel strong and bad relation.
Correlation and relation, is there any choice?
It’s the choice of the free, badly is invoice.
Did I pay for your sweet life? You my debtor now.
Do not want to pay the truth? Vow, powwow.
Who should smoke, who should drink? For th’ inebriation?
That is I. I now weep, ‘cause I am bad assuaging.
I did suffer, you did love, one another other.
Who is I? The crazy toss or the fortunate Father?
I am crazy. That is truth. No argues given.
But I’m not at all a hap. Who should make scores even?
You feel bad and I feel good, you were caught off balance.
Who is balance? That is I, checking the nonchalance.
Who did take my Bride along? Who did take a stamp?
That will go all the way to the dead men’s camp.
This that is all way from city, rifle smoke, tears.
How otherwise, I can put on you due fears?
You will go catch me now: pitchforks in the hands.
You should know make the trouble is of no sense.
I feel bad, when I am afraid I am even better.
You want make a common raid? I will send a letter.
But email, or by post mail, now matter how.
I do have to write again, there’s powwow.
Powwow of the vow, that is much of tire.
But to hate the enemy add the fuel t’ fire.
I am tired, that is true. I should take my leave.
But, to send me to the hell there’s no heave.
I’m afraid, but I am strong, do not even think it.
I will go all along even for a trinket.
For a trinket of the lass that is on the neck.
I will go and to see and her virtue check.
If the trinket is all empty, then protection’s null.
But, we should forget the past days and say a-bye lull.

Love

Love seldom brings the rest,
Only in the wind of west.
We know hardly what we are,
We feel not so long, so far.
We are afraid to play on chance,
But what’s ahead is just to last.
I like to wander in the times,
To kill a man costs me just dimes.
But now’s time of jubilee,
And killing is not ever free.
You understand, or do not catch
The sense of life is of death match.
I am afraid you are afraid,
To save you I must make a raid
To grab the souls in my heart,
To bring the life that’s bloody dart.
Who never killed, he never fathered.
Who never loved, he never hated.
That’s why you’ll know later.
Today’s enough of wisdom verse,
I’m going to wash my curse.

Maidens

I preached you were the harlots, you are maidens.
I told you behaved as sluts, society do say you’re ladies.
You did all marry in sure effort to take the burden off my back
In time my strength of will and flesh might lack.
You did dishonor your repute all only in my eyes blind.
And, hardly can at all I any blemish find.
You are as precious vessels of sweet odor.
I should earn money to you take in order
In which you are arranged by wisdom of the providence.
And, know I to wither come and whence.
You able were to cheat only me alone.
In shame remember I my haughty tone.
I feel all heavier because you’re undefiled.
My mood turns sober and mild.
Still, happy I am for this evident a fact
That all you sorcery was just a way of tact.
The whole people knew you were the pinkest most.
Some pregnant got by Holy Ghost.
And, now find I in children yours my own traits and features.
That life and girls are honest, to me it all but teaches.
And whether can a girl defile a girl?
For that I did cast down much a pearl?
I paid the fine for maiden brides.
And, nobody cheated me, good tides.

Queen’s daughter

The Queen has born a daughter to a Knight.
Of this I now took my pen to write.
Oh, how could I say it all t’ be right?
That’s of the daughter soul warming sight.
Too early Knight had known battles’ horn.
From very early victories he’d worn.
He had his say in coronation’s plot.
His queen had taken lucky lot.
He knew his queen years later,
When she desired to her servant cater.
She made him drink the wine and rape,
To give him credit’s debt instead of order tape.
He never was that happy, ever t’ be.
And, many people did the picture see.
The Master of knights just did upbraid
And compensation should be risky raid.
The queen was of an oversea kingdom.
Such thing it ever happen, even seldom.
The knight had paid from his life long account.
Still, was by many he t’ be guilty found.
They said he took the curse and spell off Queen,
Her glory ‘nd beauty to be such as never seen.
And, they parted after Knight advised her on her ruling.
She said, ‘Let’s never part, our hearts not cooling.
You be my minister, pass over t’ my service.’
But, Knight said, ‘Not. Not fully did I drink my chalice.
The many battles are ahead ‘n my life.
I have to win, I have to strive.’
Still, promised Queen to consecrate her songs t’ her Knight
And wait until all over is fight.
The years had passed, the Knight knew victories and wounds.
He saw his rivals lie in tombs.
But he himself was ‘most ruined and bankrupt.
In that the dames had made his life corrupt.
He paid for love, he paid for nights.
He was much lower in rights.
He took the vow for the dames he loved.
He did not know wine and love and many days followed.
In dire hours of night, he dreamt of Queen.
In his strong arms, her often seen.
The cruel years had passed, his choice was the trade of minstrel
To tell of live of his, of love and curse he knew so well.
And, in a certain day, he saw his daughter on a picture
Beside her mother and his love art teacher.
And, he recalled how many years ago the violation hardly saved the honor.
He knew he was in much of debt, and passed away the days of feeling always loner.
And, though Master said one day that Knight himself will be a King in future time.
It’s all the same the miracle of whole clime.
He able was to win this right in much of work and pain.
And, though they say the Queen was loved and married, that’s in vain.
Because the Knight does know she kept virgin.
If not to count that sweet day for which he passed through scourges.

Dance

You did lay your chin on my shoulder.
My fears, pain and former anguish did molder.
I felt you were tender and bold in your attention.
And, of my pride and comfort I don’t mention.
In end of whole thing, I did invite you for a dance.
I dreamt of this sweet day the long years’ romance.
I trembled because of joy and kept hands firmer.
We danced all during two songs, all time did murmur.
And, after many days of my strong love, all thence.
I for the first time did catch your of love and pain full glance.

Not to be reached

That girl is hardly able to be reached by me.
She is by church of manners taught without fee.
To boot, I want to be a writer and a poet by trade.
But, family needs money, and on which it’s made?
Not right away on verses and short stories written.
And, you are lioness although always play a kitten.
Oh, how could I find trail to your sweet heart?
The answer is to visit church. I start.

Pink

I met you a summer day, a day of July.
I thought you were sincere, you were sly.
You gave yourself to me to break the oath
That given was to call only those “both”,
Who were of very same sweet fair sex.
For a girl to love a girl was the strict lex.
It has originated from the birth day curse.
And whether a union with a man is worse?
I loved you, still I was unhappy very
Because you did not want to be a fairy.
You wanted to be a cruel sorceress instead.
You told lies about your past to add the lead
Which lay on my heart with each word of yours
And in your tales about former life you were not terse.
You said I was only eighth in row of prevalence.
My soul was much torn and pierced hence.
Once, I was sage to realize the pink was the right color
You were dishonest you did say in the home parlor.
You told me the tale about seashore romance.
It hardly had the essence and the sense.
But, you were able to persuade to make me sad.
I was downcast, forgot the truth, turned mad.
Then, came a day I got a firm and clear idea
That I was very first, I lost the shame and fear.
I was so passionate in making love and kisses.
You understood that you became my saint mistress.
Still, you decided to cut abrupt our sweet relations
You made a barricade to my pure love realizations.
Again, I did forget the truth that you were pink.
I lost the verity and to the real thing the link.
But, after time had past I know you are pure source of love.
I wait and see myself as to the sky being tossed a dove.
Which would cast himself down to the earth from high above
To meet his girlfriend sitting on a branch in tranquil grove.