My first book (part 2).

Indians

The team collected themselves into a circle and squatted down on the soccer field to the left side of the goal. Mike approached the group. It was already the break after the second time of the second match of the tournament that was agreed for four games in a row. It was hard for the street team to play soccer against the foreign boys from the sport schools picked out from hundreds of thousands. Mike helped to find the right strategy and tactics for the team, and they won the first match. Still, it was too much of exhausting themselves. Mike felt the team was ready to declare a strike.
‘What’s the problem?’ Mike asked.
After some pause, one of the eldest boys said, ‘We know that you stand up for the girls abroad but that’s your own business if you cannot fix it up with them capitalists. They said you wanted to sell your blood. That’s good. Still, I do not want to lose my health on it. You better strain the point on the diplomacy.’
‘There’s no diplomacy for it,’ Mike said, ‘that’s dead set.’
The boys breathed heavily, then the same boy asked, ‘But, what we gonna get on that ourselves.’
‘You’ll receive the flats and good jobs.’ Mike said.
‘Ha, you think us the fools to believe that the communists will give us the flats and good jobs for a victory in a tournament of the Leather Ball. You find the fools in the other place, we don’t have any pull for that. If we were the sons of directors, then it would be the other deal, but we are just simple guys.’ He said on the behalf of the team.
‘I’ll give you the jobs on my own business enterprise in our city. And, I’ll build the flats on my own money and every worker would receive it on a credit without profit percents, but I’ll just cancel your mortgage contracts when I’ll collect you all in my office. You simply pay a bit from the beginning and then stop the payments.’ Mike said.
‘But, how you’ll remember us? What if some impostors would also say they played the tournament and they would not forgive us the debts on the flats.’ the boy asked.
‘I said to the coach to write down your names on the protocol.’ Mike told.
‘And, you should pay the coach also.’ The boy said.
‘I’ll pay him half the price of the flat in cash from my own pocket.’ Mike answered.
‘And, you should put down a bottle of costly whiskey for the occasion, not your coca tea.’ The eldest boy said to make all laugh.
‘Ok, that’s a deal.’ Mike agreed.
‘But, we have no more breath to continue to play the soccer.’ The eldest boys said.
‘Take all the cigarettes you’ve got and inhale by a draft, then inhale the air by the nose slowly that the smoke would get deeper into the lungs and dissolve completely in the blood, then exhale slowly by the nose also, to use all the tobacco we’ve got. Then, we’ll win all the games, simply it will be bad afterwards in the evening and night and in the adult age when you recall about it.’ Mike said.
‘You’ve killed the Tadjics that way?’ He asked.
‘Yea.’ Mike said.
‘So, let’s play as shakhids.’ The boy said. ‘But, show us how to smoke it that way.’
‘No, it’s when they smoke opium. But, we’ll play as Indians.’
Mike went to the left goal post and took his pack of cigarettes from the pocket. He took first cigarette and ignited it with a match. He drafted the smoke and inhaled the air by the nose slowly to make the nicotine to dissolve completely in the blood through the lungs. Then, he exhaled the air from the lungs by the nose, there were no smoke. The boys laughed. They smoked that way.
The last game was most hard. They played with English boys after the Italians who were a bit older to boot and played it dirty, tripping now and then making avail of the fact that the umpire was a capitalist. After the first time, the English team led nine to naught. Jack played most hard even knowing that an anemia in the future was assured for him as the arrested coach of the Shushenskoe adult team said very loud from the bench.
‘What you, bitches, do with the boys?!’ He cursed to get a blow from the policemen.
‘Keep mum, the bitch.’ The policeman said.
‘Guys, you do not listen to what I say. You do not listen how to play,’ Mike said.
‘Keep mum, the fool, I said we would lose.’ Jack said and ran forward in a fever not able to control himself.
Mike stayed in the defense of the goal because he knew he should not allow the English team to score more. When it was nine to naught after the first time a man from abroad, who sat on the benches stood up and went behind the orchard fence not able to see it any more, because the boys from Mike’s team could play strategy and tactics no more, they just ran on the field not able to make the brains work.
The boys lay on the ground not able to move. Mike looked on the benches where the sick small girls sat. One of them said something in her language to her mom. Mike understood by the Holy Ghost it was, ‘But, I knew it would come nothing of it.’ Mike turned back toward his team.
‘For the fatherland, bitches, for Lenin, for Stalin, bitches!’ Mike hollered. ‘As on the war! Stand up, bitches, you don’t know the fatherland! Stand up! Do not lie down. Or, I’m gonna kill you all. Forgot your grandfathers bitches?’
The boys stood up one by one. All they could do was to lean forward now and then and say ‘Ah’ with exhaling.
‘Give it! ‘The unbreakable union’! Sing up as though you’ve already won. Sing after me!’ Mike began to sing provided he knew the hymn of Soviet Union by heart having often listened to the disc he had bought in the shop with his onion money after the mom had added some of it.
The hymn returned the boys into the conscience. The fever and blind obstinate hazard left them. The English boys laughed and leaned also but only because of laughter.
Mike looked into the eyes of the American woman. She wept.
After the man from abroad returned from behind the fences, the score was already nine to five, the English team still led. The man left the benches again. When he returned after he had heard the cheerful voices, the match and tournament was over. The Shushenskoe street team won the game against English team by a score of eleven to nine…
Next day, Mike went to the school. He kept silence in the morning because he had not slept all night. All the night, he crept on the floor as they had taught him in the judo club. It was called to crawl as a crocodile. It was to cope with the breaking and pulling pain in muscles. He endeavored himself to think he was a snake crawling on the valley. It seemed that even the bones were filled with what was left after the nicotine had worked in the body. Mike tried to think that the bones were plastic ones. He had smoked almost two and a half pack of cigarettes in a special way not to allow the smoke to go out of the lungs but to dissolve completely in the blood while the boys had smoked only several cigarettes each. Mike came to the school. It were four lessons of the literature in a row because the teacher and the class mistress named Helen came to the school after the sickness.
‘Can I go to the water closet?’ Mike asked.
‘Yea, Michael. Go.’ Helen said.
Mike went to the water closet and took out the paints an actor had given to him before the tournament. The blood pressure began to get high. It was necessary to prevent an insult. He wanted to feel himself as a falcon, so he began to paint a falcon mask on his face before a mirror. First beak, then eyes. He tied a small black rope around his head. He took the feathers from his pocket and poked under the rope. He did it in the school, because he was most afraid his mom might get a-knowing of it. He felt better. It made the blood pressure get lower. It also was necessary to make it against a stupor ongoing on him. Mike was afraid to stay a fool for his whole life. Then, he recalled that they could lose him in the classroom. He went to the class to listen to what the teacher would say, on account it was dangerous to stay in silence. When he thought he was a falcon he felt better and was able to climb the stairs to the upper floor. He got into the classroom. He sat on his place and tried to imagine he was a falcon all the time and to listen to the melodic speech of the teacher the same time. He felt better. Then, he knew the falcon could stand his spirit no more. The falcon could die and Mike would stay a fool for his whole life.
‘Can I go to the water closet?’ Mike asked again.
‘You want to wash yourself, Mike? You feel bad?’ The teacher asked.
‘No, I just want to wash my face, because the falcon can die.’ Mike said.
‘And, what will happen then?’ Helen asked with soft anxiety.
‘Then, I might stay a fool for the whole life.’ Mike responded.
The girls laughed. Mike imagined himself a skate fish but then felt the skate fish would not be able to stand the pressure in his head. So, it should be a deep water fish like he had seen in the books on the pictures.
‘Go, Mike, and that somebody would help you wash yourself.’ The teacher commanded.
‘I’ll do it myself.’ Mike said.
He went to the first floor into the girls’ water closet because he was afraid they could hinder him from making what he wanted, if he would be in the boys’ water closet due the last had no lock. He took out the paints. Now, he should be a deep water fish. It was to keep the level of the blood pressure that was going to get low. To be a deep water fish compensated it for the blood pressure decrease. It should have a firm skeleton to help Mike not to let his bones break. He colored his face in black and painted the fish with the white color stick. He went up the third floor and squatted down. A pair of girls from the parallel class went up to him.
‘Mike, is it right that you won against the world combined teams yesterday?’ one of them asked.
Mike turned his head from side to side because to allow that thought was to let the heart blow up out of a strong pain.
‘Why do you lie, the teacher said you won?’ The other girl said.
‘And, why you painted your face all over?’ she asked.
‘That’s because I might become an impotent if did not do it.’ Mike answered.
‘And, where’s the boys who played with you?’ one of them asked after some pause.
‘They lie down home.’ Mike answered.
‘But why you went to the school?’ She demanded.
‘That the mom did not know about it.’ Mike said.
‘Let’s come into our class, Mike. You’ll tell how you won.’ The girls proposed.
‘I better sit down here.’ Mike did not agree.
After some time their teacher came and took Mike by the hand to lead him to the classroom of Helen.
‘Painted himself again.’ A girl said.
‘Let him stay that way if he feels better.’ The teacher who had led Mike to the classroom said. ‘Maybe, you will wash you, Mike.’ She proposed.
‘No, the fish might die.’ Mike opposed.
‘Most important that the fish did not die,’ said one of the girls seriously.
Mike knew that though he won four matches with his local team against the best combined teams of the capitalist Europe, he was not counted a patriot because it was for the sake of the foreign girls. After the tournament, they said the boys used doping and it was not sportive, the result was not only doubted but cancelled. Mike felt weak because of all it. There was no way out now than to kidnap a most sick foreign girl and forcefully make her a shot of his blood to show it was all Ok with the vaccine. He recalled about Benedicta, whom they told him of. They said that even the boys from the church said she would be a prostitute and they would help her in it. Mike knew he was ready for a new fight. But, now he will be alone against many. Most of all, he hated Jesus because he originated such a doubted organization…
Before the scrap, Mike explained to the church boys and men why he had no choice but to kidnap Benedicta. He mentioned the soccer tournament.
‘But, all know it was no good.’ A boy said. ‘All know it was doping.’
‘There cannot be without a doping when you defend the dame of your heart, because you should show your full strength.’ Mike concluded.
No doubt, Mike was going to smoke himself into an Indian again. Only for the concession that he got some ganja instead of the tobacco from a Tuvinian friend, and he would smoke it also, smoke it in his special way of leaving no smoke to come out unused.


Prayer

It was a hot stuffy day of the same summer when Mike had encountered the girls and they had passionately discussed their matrimonial prospects. Mike sat against the barrier made of the metal pipe a hundred feet off that place where he had met the girls. It was a heavy burden on his heart. He was rather more than just on the horns of a dilemma. It seemed that his existence was about to divide in two. On one hand, he loved the girls and wanted to suffer for them and instead of them as a husband in the sight of the Lord, on the other hands the girls did not want to live in a harem and they said they had their beloved ones. But, the beloved ones on their part were not intended to suffer at all, it was the role of Mike, their own duty was to live a happy life with the girls freed of the curse through Mike’s suffering.
The girls did not profess Jesus because then it would have been necessary for them to consent to stay virgins till the end of their days and consecrate their life to Him. That was not in a serious question at all as a possible solution of the problem. They did not want to become nuns. So, they did not want to become the brides of Jesus. Because such tricks did not play on with Him, in that He required faithfulness. But, Mike was different; he loved the girls so much that he was ready to suffer for them for free, just out of a vain hope. And, contrary to the girls he loved the Lord with all his heart.
Mike began to think on how he could help the girls and make all that was possible with him that they should become happy.
Mike began to pray, ‘Lord, I know that it is not true if I suffer as a husband for them because they don’t want to be my wives. But, I ask You, the Lord, that You all the same allowed me to suffer for them just as a human being suffers for another human being. I promise to you that I will not know the woman till twenty three years old and I will forbear completely of any shameful things, even after I will live with Julia for three years what I ask from you for her own health. I know it will be very hard, I feel it. But, make it so that I came through not because I want it, though I want it, but because You made it so. I know it’s just ordinary girls, but, the Lord, I love them much. Make it possible and help me let them be happy.’
Of course, Mike felt some offence in his soul that he loved and was not loved in return. All the same, he mustered his courage together and looked bolder to the future. There was something to be afraid of. The fortuneteller said he would die at twenty-one. Mike did not see his future in his dreams after that age of his life as yet. So, he was apprehensive.
Thus, he continued to pray, ‘Lord do not let me die, I want to have my own children and see the life. Help me.’

God

Mike lay on his bed in the night before getting asleep. It was the time to think over the many problems of his young life. He thought about his future life and the decisions he had made, pledged and should follow.
‘Mike,’ he heard a voice.
‘I’m here,’ the boy said.
‘Will you serve me?’ the kind voice asked.
‘Who you are?’ Mike questioned.
‘You’re my part, Mike. I’m your creator.’ The God said.
‘Hello, the God. That’s an honor to talk to you,’ said Mike a bit scared.
‘Do you want to be my priest?’ the God asked.
‘But, what does it mean to be your priest?’ the boy went on querying.
‘It means you shall serve me,’ the God said.
Mike felt a joy, ‘Yea, Lord, I’ll serve you. But, I got an obligation. There’re some girls and I should help them.’
‘I know. Do you want to have the children, Mike?’ the God asked.
‘Yea, Lord. I want to marry and have the children,’ said the boy.
‘Then, it will be harder for you,’ the God said.
‘I know, but I want to help those girls. I love them.’ Mike told.
‘Are you sure they love you, Mike?’ the God put a question.
‘Yea, but they’re sick and so they’re offended by the life. I hope they’ll change their choice.’ Mike minced the words.
‘Only, you should marry virgins, Mike, to be my priest.’ The God announced.
Mike felt happy, ‘I’m ready…but first, the Lord, let me try to help those girls. I promise you I’ll be your priest but let me help them.’ The boy bargained.
‘Ok, Mike, I’ll let you help them, but remember you’ll be my priest.’ The God said. ‘Farewell.’
‘Wait, wait, the Lord, please, but what with the girls whom I love if they repent and return to me because I will suffer for them? Can I take them as concubines? Then, I would be a priest and a king in the same time as your Bible says about the believers.’ Mike asked with a hope and his heart stopped to beat as it seemed.
The Lord waited for a moment, then said, ‘Yes, they can be your concubines because you’ll suffer for them as a husband, but only if they repent. Farewell, Mike.’
Mike felt happy because the Lord solved his dilemma of the love to the girls, who could be unfaithful to him. He would be the God’s priest and so only a virgin would stay with him as a wife, but the unfaithful ones could be his concubines. But what did it mean for them to be unfaithful? Would they stay virgins?

The way of the priest

Mike was on his way across the court where most of the girls he loved lived. Suddenly, two girls appeared in front of him as if they had waited for him. Mike stopped.
‘Hello, Mike,’ the brunette one said. ‘How’s your affairs?’
Mike did not answer.
‘May you give us a cigarette?’ one of them asked.
‘I don’t have any cigarettes,’ Mike answered.
‘Look at this good boy. He hasn’t got any cigarettes. We’ll you get married to one of us after we love our beloved ones we’ve got?’ The brunette asked.
‘I’m the Lord’s priest. I promised to Him. I can get married only to a virgin.’ Mike explained.
They spat at Mike, struck with their soft fists endeavoring to do it most painfully and scratched. Mike had to retreat and go home.

A trick

This day again Mike was in the video salon where they showed American movies. The entry cost a ruble. A guy whose name was Dill begged the girl clerk who sold the tickets to let him in for free.
‘I’ve got an appointment on the island tonight. I’ve got no money. But, I need to watch this movie about Bruce Lee. I’ve got to study a trick of his to fight on the island tonight.’ Dill begged. ‘You’ve got to let me in.’

Uncle Richard

Old Richard was the brother of Mike’s dad real father. Mike’s dad had seen his own dad only when the last was at the door of the death bedridden and bidding farewell to all those he knew. It was the first and last time Mike’s dad Jack had seen his own dad having been brought up by a stepfather. But, old Uncle Dick lived in the same town as Mike’s family lived in. So, the time came when Mike’s parents began to visit Uncle Dick and his wife Elli. They were both the painters. Old Dick was Second World War veteran and should have received the hero of the Soviet Union star because his artillery battery had established a ford by its fire during a warfare operation but somehow he missed the order. Anyway, he had a lot of medals and orders gotten in action.
Uncle Dick was a kind man though sick with sugar diabetes. He presented to Mike his old hand watch with a blue face. When his wife Elli wasn’t in the room he called Mike to himself with a conspiracy tone and gave him a handful of coins out of some vase. They said he had had some other clock that had been golden which he took as a trophy in Berlin out of a safe. But I thief had stolen it off him once when Dick had sat on a bench and had occasionally looked on the golden clock on a chain. A thief had sat down beside him as if to have some rest and when he had got up and disappeared, Dick had looked and seen no clock but an empty chain. However, it was the matter of the old days and nobody pitied the loss. Easy gotten, easy lost. So, it turned a trophy not only for him but for the thief also.
Then the days of the reforms began. The TV programs were full of exposing of the crimes of the Stalinist regime. They said about massive repression and genocide against their own nation. Old Richard was already very sick. At such moments, he would weep bitterly shaking slowly his gray head.
‘We believed,’ he said as if in an appeal seeking for an excuse or that somebody would say it was all the old style.

Chances and fates

Mike often pondered on whether he would have been at all if his granddad Peter had been killed in the war. Would he exist at all then? That was quite a question. Then, he heard a story from his grandma Mary, how she was in childbirth. She felt it was the time to deliver the baby but her husband was on the shift at the machine tractor station. So, she had nothing but to borrow a horse and sledge and venture her way to the hospital alone. The horse ran by the road but suddenly it weighed fearfully. Mary looked around and saw that they were followed by a pack of wolves. The blood rushed into her head and she whipped the horse, however it was now of no use because the horse understood it no worse that it was necessary to increase the speed. Still, Mary whipped and whipped afraid for herself and her baby in the womb. After all, they crossed the bridge and the village appeared. The wolves slowed down and, in the end, stopped. The same night, Mary gave birth to her daughter and gave her the name of Svetlana which means ‘One of Light’. Mike felt jealous at that story of his grandmother’s courage. All the same, he pretended that he was so special that he should have appeared all the same, even from different parents and ancestry. It was senseless. Chances are chances and fates are fates.


The secrets of femininity

The warmth of July midday pine forest made the soul to stay in comfort. The rays of the sun broke through the trees above. Mike and his mom collected the strawberries. They were very friendly to each other at that time. Though Mike kept a distance that was observed also by the mom they still were much communicating. The berries already occupied the small basket and bucket in enough qualities and the hazard of the first minutes in the forest was gone. The mom felt like talking.
‘You know, Mike, you are already old enough and you should know something about the women because it already happens with the girls in your class and they really are small ladies and you should be a gentleman.’ Said the mom.
‘What you mean, mom?’ asked Mike his interest softly fed by the intrigue of the secrets that were about to be disclosed.
‘I mean Mike that any woman has some days that it is necessary to protect her of any troubles even more than usually. It happens each month. That’s what the nature put on the woman for the sake of the babies. If the woman never had it, there would be no babies.’ She said as they went along the slope on which the forest grass grew. ‘On such days she’s very vulnerable and she really bleeds with the blood to renew her organism for a new month. She may be nervous and sick on such days. And as a future man Mike you should know about it to understand what happens with the girls in your class on some days. That’s what the nature gave to the woman as a burden. So, now you know about it Mike. That’s called menstruation.’
Thus Mike got to know about the usual among women. At that time his attitude to the girls already began to change cardinally. He stopped tugging them on the plaits and felt somewhat not confident in the presence of them. They received a certain power upon him. He wanted to make all the things so that he would be appreciated most positively by the fair sex present in his class. Now, he also knew that the girls even suffered each month to make a love between man and woman possible. This fact made them especially sublime. It seemed that it justified many things, their possible faults and mischief. And, it added to the aura of their highness and unachievable purity. They suffered to make the love possible. It sounded much for the benefit of the girls. Mike began to respect his contemporary schoolgirls more.

The prayer of schizophrenia

Mike was thirteen. It was the age when Mike was a child no more. The lust began to work fully in his flesh. He caught himself on the idea that he began to understand many things in a different way than when he had been a child. The lust prevented him from knowing the truth. The sexual puberty played a funny joke upon him. He now could not defend his views and believes as a Christian it seemed to him. It was what he realized looking at the open pages of the gospel that was published in a literature magazine.
‘Lord, they say that you are divided into three persons of the Son, Father and Holy Ghost, that you are sick with schizophrenia of the division of personality. Lord, I really don’t understand why you punish not the wicked ones so as to make them to repent and not to go into the fire of the hell. And, why you allow the righteous to be persecuted and killed. Maybe, you are really sick I don’t know. But, I now am sick with the sin. It’s hard for me to see the truth now.’ Mike wept.
He really felt that his metabolism had changed. It was harder for him now to defend the truth before the girls, for example. He depended on his body and he wanted to get across that border between him and the truth that the lust had established. Mike felt that it was necessary to forbear of sex and go crazy and get through the illness of schizophrenia to understand the God.
‘Lord, I will come through the schizophrenia and maybe in my mind you will be able to get changed. It is because you are a God and you cannot get healed of your sickness if you are sick, but I am a man and I can. And, then I would tell when I am sick with schizophrenia and healed instead of you that you should punish the people so much as possible for them not to get into the hell. And, you should not divide the people into those that will go into the fire of the hell and those that will come into the heaven if you are good.’ Mike argued to the Lord.
Of course, there was much blasphemy in all this on Mike’s part, because the Lord is righteous and wise. So, the Lord smote Mike with the schizophrenia for him to understand the Lord, not to teach him.
Mike understood that Lord was a jealous one. He wanted for a choice of a man. And, that choice was made in the childhood when a boy or girl was free of the power of the lust. Jesus Christ had said when they had shown him a child that if one did not accept the Kingdom of Heaven as such one, he would never enter therein. That was the jealousy of the Lord. If a man made a choice for the devil, not for the God, he would live and maybe live not very bad, but he would not receive the eternal life. That was the way of the eternal God. Mike knew it was perfect.

Rebellion

Mike pondered on the destiny of the girls he loved and wanted to help. He knew they despised the Lord according to their words and put very little value on the Christian commandments. Mike knew what was the end of such people: the hell and then the lake of fire – eternal damnation. But he loved those girls and he wanted to argue with the Lord for their sake.
‘Lord, please answer me. I want to know why you did not give those girls as wives to me and let them perish.’ Asked Michael torn by the sorrow.
‘It was their choice,’ the Lord said.
‘So, if they will continue in their disobedience to you they will perish and be burnt in the lake of fire?’ asked Michael.
‘Yes,’ said the Almighty.
Mike loved those girls very much and he could not put up with the idea that they would perish in the eternal punishment as was surely their end on account of what they had said about the God and Michael himself as a Christian. They wanted to be harlots. Even Julia when she cried and sat down in the sand made an ultimatum to the Lord. She said that she wanted to be a harlot and that the Lord should have saved her all the same from the hell and the devil. The other girls had laughed and called her a foolish girl due she had believed in the hell and the devil. The other requirement of Julia had been that even if she was a harlot Mike should become her husband and the Lord should order Mike to accept it. Of course, Julia had a soul that was somewhat more of kin to Mike’s soul, however she was a harlot and Mike was afraid that the Lord would not accept her ultimatum and send her into the hell all the same because it is the destination of the harlots. So, Mike wanted to somehow save those girls because he loved and pitied them so much.
‘Lord, you know I strangely want to be more like David than You,’ said Mike sincerely.
‘It is because you want to kill the boys that want to fornicate with the girls you love and also their husbands and take them all into your harem. But you won’t save them that way. They made their choice before me and you cannot change it, Michael.’ The God said.
‘No, God, it was said that they are my wives before You to pass the curse on me. But, I will suffer so long and so much till I can hold those girls from the fire of the hell. I say you, Lord, I will not let them off. And, whether I perish with them all I will save them from the hell.’ Mike swore.
‘You are saved, Mike, because you believe in me and you will go into the paradise after your death. But, you won’t be able to hold those girls from the hell and my anger as a nominated husband because they will sin very much and it will be too hard for you to hold them and you will let them go. And, after you know the treason of those whom you loved you will even bless me that I shall send them to the lake of fire.’ The Lord said.
‘No,’ said Mike, ‘Lord don’t say such evil things about me and you… I’ll try to save all the sinners from the hell. That all should be saved. And, that nobody died. Not only me, not only my children. If you don’t want to adopt the sinners I will adopt them and gift them the immortality.’ Said Mike in his vain hope.
‘But, you are sinful and mortal, Michael. Where would you receive the immortality to dispose of it according to your intent?’ Asked the Lord to show to Mike his stupidity.
‘I will fast and suffer, and I will be so saint that I will capture the Pillar of Fire of Your Spirit into my body and I will give birth to the immortal kids that will be made of the dead spirits that will live in my soul. My own body will be the lake of Fire and I will be antichrist to become the Christ. Because you are the Father and I am the son and the son should win of his Father.’ Mike pronounced what he held in his soul for already long.
‘I’m sorry, Michael, but it is against My Spirit to save those who did not accept My sacrifice on the Calvary and choose a Christian life. You cannot compete with me. Believe me you will acknowledge my righteousness and bless me when all will be over and you will see the vanity of your words after you understand what is the treason when you will be betrayed by your girls.’ The Lord said.
Mike could not believe it. It was impossible for him even to imagine that he would be glad because his girls should be sent into the hell and the lake of fire. Mike was obstinately prepared to compete with the Lord.
‘I am more saint than you,’ said Michael, ‘because I want to forgive them all, and I will win the battle against you.’ Mike said sure of himself.
His own righteousness by which he presumed to excel the righteousness of the God seemed to him to be justified…
Then, Michael really fasted of sexual life and was mentally sick because of the fleshly forbearance. The many visions and dreams visited him in which he believed and did not doubt or put under a critical evaluation. It seemed to him that he was the Christ and suffered for the sake of all the sinners, including the young women he loved, to be saved. His idea was to take as many wives as possible and give birth to immortal children, all girls, after he would capture the Pillar of Fire of the Lord’s Spirit. He would be one among the milliards of women as a compensation for him for the fact that he suffered for the sins of all the humanity committed since the Eden’s tree. It was a delusion and the punishment of the Lord. It was for six years. Then, the Lord had mercy on him and Michael got in peace with the idea that some were saved and some were not. The Lord was right. Though, he loved the girls he was even glad that they would be punished with the eternal damnation because they were harlots and betrayed his love and suffering. The Lord was right. It did not seem to be cruel to him anymore that the girls he had loved would go into the fire along with the hell, because they had been the harlots and betrayed him giving him almost nothing but the curse. He understood that it was according to the righteousness of the Lord and he blessed Him. The Lord proved He was right. Mike even loved those girls almost no more, only the bitterness of the betrayed suffering was left.

Protection

Mike tried not to look upon the pale figures that approached him by the air, thinking it was not real. He turned his eyes to the ground and breathed as much air as he could to refresh oneself as much as possible. He already forgot about what he had seen but at that moment he felt somebody touch him. He thought it was his grandma. But, when he lifted his head he saw a pale figure to stand before him. Mike tried to look askance and aside, but he heard the meek voice.
‘Don’t be afraid,’ said the Angel. ‘I won’t cause you any evil.’
‘I’m not afraid.’ Mike said. ‘Simply, I thought you were not real. You are the ghoul and have come to take me to the forest?’
‘No, Mike, I am not the ghoul and I will not take you to the forest. I’ve come because you called me.’ The Angel said.
‘Jesus!’ Mike exclaimed.
Here he saw that the other Angels that were women wept as if they were real women and not Angels.
‘Why they weep, Jesus? It’s because I’m going to die?’ Mike asked.
‘No, Mike, you will not die. They weep because they pity you.’ Jesus said.
‘You, Jesus, you do not let them die, them girls. You do not let them be sick and become harlots.’ Mike pleaded.
‘I will not.’ Jesus said…
Mike lay on his bed and thought about his future. He wanted much that his girls should be saved, but it would have been impossible had they become the harlots. Mike was ready to suffer for all of them, only they should be saved and come to the heaven. But, what if somebody seduced them, or forced to be defiled? Mike was afraid for them. He knew he would be sick suffering that they should be healed, but how then he would be able to protect them? And, if he fought for their honor, they would put him into the jail. He was not a king and had no eunuchs to protect his girls.
‘Lord.’ Mike called. ‘Please, say me what to do to protect the girls? I alone won’t be able to protect them all. And, I don’t want to have any eunuchs because it’s bad for a man to be that way. What I have to do, Lord?’
‘Don’t be afraid, Michael. I will not let your harem to be defiled. I will protect them better than any army of eunuchs. Don’t be afraid.’ The Lord said.
‘But, Lord, you are a Spirit, a Holy Ghost. How you can defend them against the boys and men that have bodies and flesh?’ Mike asked. ‘You are in heavens, but they are here on the earth.’
‘My arm is strong, Michael, and I have a whole army of angels and demons to serve me. Nobody may stand against my wrath. So, be not afraid.’ The Lord told.
‘But, Lord, they are all against me and they act the way as though they do not obey you?’ Mike asked again.
‘Michael, do not believe your eyes and your ears, they can cheat you. Believe your heart and what I’ll say to you.’ Jesus said…
‘Your blood helped us, but it was no good to help Julia, so you should marry her.’ Inna extorted of Mike.
‘Yea, I’ll marry her but…’ Barely said Michael.
‘And, you should believe her no matter what she’ll say because otherwise she’ll suffer and may die. You should suffer instead!’ Inna cried loudly.
‘Yea, Ok.’ Mike agreed…
Julia said upon the dust and wept, ‘Lord, save me, I don’t want to get into the hell. I don’t want to be a harlot and I don’t want that he should suffer!’
‘You, foolish girl, do not weep. He’ll die for our sins and we’ll be healed.’ Inna and Tina said with smiles on their faces.

The curse instead of blessing

All the pressure of the life upon the childish mind of Michael drove him to try to share the burden with somebody older and close to him. The dad was always occupied with his management job in the framework of the whole communist command-administrative system. He seemed to be so distanced of all the spiritual problems of the family that Mike did not have the courage to approach him in that regard and spill out his soul as the Russian say. He instinctively felt that his dad would not simply understand and encourage him, because on such occasions when the matter was serious the dad would just give a Dutch comfort of few hollow words void of any real essence of compassion and sympathy. Mike anticipated a cold answer on duty that day that would not change anything but just defile the virginity of his secret thoughts and feelings. It was always so between the man and his son in the tradition of this world that the males should solve their own problems themselves. His dad called the suit in the family relations and Mike knew he would not get much aid that time and further on in the future when that problems would require not only a comforter in the person of the dad but also a sponsor and financier to invest some cash into the enterprise of building a happiness of family and hearth through the dates, the visits to the coffee-shops, borrowings of a good car and much like. That is why Mike decided to share all his secret life of sick girls, taking on of the curses and harem prospects with his mom, because maybe she would give some advise how to be with the girls because in the past she herself had been a girl. But, what he got off sharing his secrets was just the contrary. When Mike told the entire story the mom got angry and upbraided Mike of all the sins of the male-kind, she used the cuss words and much insult.
‘You are the same fornicator as your own father. But, you are worse. He hides his lust behind the communist ideology and his Union of Young Communists past, but you bring into the sacred things, the Christ, the religion. A harem! How you only could dare to offer that to those sick girls, you heartless swine.’ Indignantly came on her speech Anastasia.
‘But, mom, nobody wanted to marry them because they were accursed by the sins of their ancestry, sick and unhappy. I tried to offer to the other boys to marry one or two of them, but they only laughed at it. Simply, nobody else wants to take on the curse for them. I will suffer for the four of them, and that’s only equitable that I take them all my wives into a harem…’ Mike said before his was interrupted by his mom.
‘Shut up,’ she cried out with much anger. ‘I will go to the witch and pass a curse on you myself. The curse of all those girls that they were healed and could choose whom they like best. But, I will put the curse on you…’ She bawled.
‘Mom, do not cry, please.’ Mike tried to suggest.
‘No, I will cry, I will always cry, and I will make scandals in the family, and I won’t work and I’ll make your stinking father begin to drink even more than he drinks now. And, you will have no way and no money to date any girl and invite her into our house as I allowed to Nick, because he originated from a noble man. But, you are a beast. And, you will masturbate, because you men always want to fuck, but I’ll make all efforts to hinder you to find a girl…’ Anastasia hollered.
‘I won’t masturbate,’ said Mike in a firm decision.
‘Ha-ha-ha, then you will go crazy. All you Lukins are just schizophrenics. Your daddy and his crazy mother and yourself. And, I will be glad to see that you go crazy. And, then no girl will marry you and you will have no children, and your generation of Lukins will go extinct, and there shall be less of the fools in the world.’ Was her curse.
After that event, Mike thought that he surely would not have any other way but to go crazy because the humiliation of the other choice was too much. If his own mother wished him the same as the girls themselves, in the same terms and schemes, Mike knew he had no support and that unhappy thing would surely happen to him. His dad could not really protect him, because he was a great sinner and fornicator and Mike had already enough of it from his mother. The pain only grew stronger. That of being betrayed…
Then, many years passed away and Mike got sick and visited the madhouse many times. He could not tell if anybody understood that it was because of the complete sexual forbearance. Some who were closer gave the advices to stop the abstinence and live as the rest of the mankind. But, the rest pretended not to understand and cursed even more saying that Mike was sick in a no way back kind of schizophrenia that would just develop and bereave him of any job prospects.
After Mike had and divorced Julia and had an unfortunate polygamy attempt with Mary, who consented a harem life but could not stay the competition and phone encounter with Mike’s civil wife on account that she was very homely and deemed only the insolence to be her last argument as she proclaimed. Julia just threatened to take a leave and that ended the battle for the independent possession of Mike. After all that, Mike finally could bear with the thought that his flesh was sold under the power of the sex. He did not fornicate in dating the girls of easy access, but in the rest he now tried to live as the rest of the men, much like an adolescent boy of thirteen would live. That is he catered to the needs of his body trying in his dreams to view not the wives of his neighbors, but that sexual experience that he had with Julia mainly and then Mary who gifted him a night of straining sex of no gratification for them both. That was the only way to live and stay sane. Mike understood now why he was sick. The spell of the curse fell off him and he was able to live on in sound mind. But, his psychic condition was yet much troubled. He thought of those girls and if they would be his wives in the end, and part of the curse still rested on him.
The mom often admonished him to come to a witch or false healer and take off the curse. Mike did not consent because he was a Christian. But, finally she herself did some rites involving a thick candle she had bought in the local Orthodox church and incantations that the evil should return on those who had sent it upon Mike. It did much for making Mike healthy and calm in his soul, because it was what he dreamed of in his childhood. Just the way he had daydreamt it. Photographically, like in a movie which he first had seen in his dreams and then with his own eyes many years later. It was what he had prayed to the Lord for. Maybe, the mom understood, partially more probably that she had not been right with her son that time in the far off past.

Branham’s Eden tree

There lived a man in the world whose name was William Branham. His idea of the Eden tree was a strange one. Like there was a loving triangle: Adam, Eve and Serpent. As though the Serpent was alike to a man and he first knew Eve giving her the seed for Cain. Then, the idea was that Adam had pity on Eve and also knew her and gave her the seed giving the birth to Abel. So, in the world there were the sons and daughters of Satan and of Adam. It was very sentimental melodramatic story and the fornicators of any kind loved it much. To boot, it turned them on the preaching that the Sons and Daughters of Satan had no chances to inherit the eternal life and should have been burnt in the lake of fire, no matter how they tried to be good and what they did. Like Jesus Nazarene died for the children of Adam, and they could kill, steal, cheat and inherited the Kingdom of God all the same. They thought like the God was that sentimental to make the things stand that way. It was called the Message of the Prophet, but the guy ended up the bad way, surely he got the due punishment for his slander against the God.
Mike himself when he became an adolescent also had a kind of dream of the same sentimentality. He also felt that the problem was that there were two boys for one girl. But, he accepted it as a dream that should never come true. Like the God divided in two, one part the Devil and the other part the Lord, it was their doctrine. Then, he decided to feel what it is like and sentimental to let a woman betray and to help the woman betray. The woman herself was a stupid and pure creature that accepted all they said to her and believed the truth the same as the lie. Then, the God that is in heaven cursed the Serpent, the unfortunate boy that was the first to become a real snake. The poor guy crawled on the earth until he evolutionary became a snake. That was the punishment. To cover up the sin in the family, when the God divided in two men, the decision of the Almighty was claimed to be the disposing of the progeny of the fornication and saving the legal kids. That was only human and many believed in it. But for Mike it was a stupid idea though much sentimental. He knew that the God would never have done so. He would create himself as a boy and the others as the women and had the fun and pleasure. Simply, they did not know the jealousy of the Lord. He was jealous even towards Himself not to say about the men. Mike had many dreams on that point of what he would do if he were the Lord. And, he knew the Lord should have the harem. That was natural with his possibilities.
When Mike forbore of sexual outlet he again saw his dreams of the adolescent age and he suffered much when he saw that vision. If he were the Lord he would not let the Serpent defile Eve. The Lord was the same image as Adam and the Woman preferred the mortal. That is why the Death came to the earth.
Then, they always say about a loving triangle when they mean a woman and two men. They do not say about an angle. So, the relation of two males should exist. The two males should also love one another to share one woman, that is only natural. It is the source of homosexuality. Mike did not want to be a gay and that was a sure pledge that his women would not be defiled by another men. That he would take them virgins.
If two men lie in the bed with one woman, or they know that they share one woman, they will wish each other, the same as if two women lie in the bed with one man they will love each other and turn pink. That is simple and easy to understand. Then, they call it the friendship. Mike did not want to have the friends, all the men and boys he considered as the competitors that should lose, because Mike wanted to be a winner. So, how to know if your girl is not defiled by the seed of the other male? One should ask a simple question if he is defiled himself by the seed of another male. The other way a loving triangle cannot exist.

Fight

It was the season of the collecting of the harvest of the onions and as it was the custom of the place that the children from the schools worked on the onion fields. They paid some very little money for it and to addition it was necessary to take one’s own food from home to the field. On one of such dinner breaks Mike did not share something good way with his pal Chuck. A quarrel resulted. Mike was the best fighter of the class, and so nobody resisted his aggression in an effective way so far. Mike beat Chuck somewhat and the last sat on the squats to hide himself from the conflict and began to weep. Mike wanted the continuation of the fight and so edged on.
‘Stand up, Jew, and fight!’ said Mike very loud to his own damage.
The spring of the oppression against the Jews that was worked on for the centuries gave a backlash. Suddenly, Chuck stood up and struck with his feast upon Mike’s nose. Mike had a strong nose and the blood did not leak, but the tears of pain leaked instead. It was the victory for the whole class. All smiled and were happy that Mike got his. The teacher said that they gave a spoon to Mike to apply to the nose to avoid appearing of a bruise. Mike felt a very strong pain and was not in any condition to continue the fight. The Jew as was the nickname of Chuck gave to Mike a good blow. Mike was a leader that lost his power with one knock. Of course, it was not much to be called an honest blow but all the same it was counted as such.
When all began to get collected for the way home on the buses, Mike sat on his empty bucket and felt the bitterness of the lost battle and the main part of his power and influence contemplating how his classmates stole the string-bags from a heap on the land to take them home. The boys collected around him along with Chuck.
‘So, you say you ate the pills?’ asked Chuck with much disdain.
‘You also could have done it.’ Simply said Mike.
Nobody asked any questions any more and all left him one by one.

The beaten up bully

As it was usual in the school, the whole class stood in the corridor waiting for the teacher to come and open the classroom. A one year elder boy walked by. His eyes met those of Mike.
‘What do you look at? Seeking for the trouble?’ asked the bully.
Mike did not answer but just watched him passing by. The bully stopped.
‘You reckon you got the trouble,’ he said to Mike.
‘Do not say hop before you jump,’ Mike said.
‘You really found it the bad way, you better go and hang yourself beforehand,’ said the bully and went off.
Something awaked in Mike’s heart. He felt and knew that it will be very hard for him in the future when the sickness would make itself known and that he should have to fight against suicide. Mike followed the bully, he did not have a clear idea what to do. He simply wanted to make the bully take back his words. The bully descended by the steps downstairs.
‘You better take back your words,’ Mike tried to say politely.
‘But, you better hang yourself the sooner the better. Anyway all know that you will die and your girls will become the harlots.’ Said the bully not turning back his face and disappeared behind the turn of the staircase.
Mike stopped. He recalled his girls. He knew they wanted to be the harlots all the same. But, he hated that bully. He coped with his anger and turned back upstairs. He tried to forget about it but his classmate Max who had the friendship with some elder hooligans caught the initiative to persuade Mike to fight the bully for his words. Thus, after the lessons of the bully were over, Mike and three of his classmates followed him and called him back on the stadium. Mike went keeping his hands in the pockets of his trousers.
‘You better show your hands, I bet you got the stones hidden in your hands.’ Said the bully.
For Mike it was a show of the additional ignoble nature of that bully. He showed his hands. Word by word, the fight started. Both tried to knock each one on the face and belly. Suddenly, the bully rushed forward to get into a wrestling, but surely Mike was a better wrestler and after a throw he was first on the legs while his rival still stood on his four on the ground. At that moment, Mike kicked from below on the face of the bully as a soccer player would do with a ball, that strongly. Then, Mike stepped aside and kicked as forcefully as he could on the stomach of the bully. The bully wallowed on the grass, which was a clear show the fight was over. The bully began to weep and stood up. He complained about the pain and wanted to continue the fight. The blood gushed from his nose and he held Mike by his school uniform. He wept and rubbed his bloody hands off Mike’s jacket. Mike was afraid now of the necessity to continue to beat a helpless bully. He just stood and waited for something to pass that off him. He also knew the measure. An old female teacher walked by, ruining Mike’s hopes that she would have separated them. Mike was pretty tired of the snots and tears mixed with the blood. Finally, an elder boy that was an acquaintance of Mike passed by and calling the bully by the second name said that he already had his and should go away, which the bully obeyed. Mike and his friends went back to the school. A lot of people watched the fight from the windows of the school. Mike left his seconds to go up to the classroom, but he himself went toward the dinner room to wash himself off the blood of the bully that was all over the jacket. The water flowed from the faucet. Mike looked into the mirror to see his face. It was the first time when he defended the honor of the dames he loved, but at that moment he even did not understand it. But, after many years when Mike was a young man almost nobody doubted that his girls turned harlots, though Mike stayed alive and had not committed a suicide when it had been so hard in his soul. It is hard to defend the reputation of the women that behave themselves as harlots. Still, Mike tried to prove that they were all virgins and lesbian contrary to any common sense. And, at such moments he felt hardest of all. It seemed to be incompatible even with his own soul. At those minutes, Mike complained to the God and sought for the comfort the same as a wolf wails to the moon complaining of the pain in his soul when the dead spirits of the sick animals he killed call upon his mind.

Jealousy

‘So, you say you will be able to feed us all being so many. But, whether you will be able to work so much to earn that much money?’ The girls put the question.
‘I will work very much and I will be able to feed you all.’ Mike answered.
‘Oh, oh, oh! But, you think anybody needs your money, that you should feed us. You think we all us being so many won’t be able to feed you one husband? But, it’s yet a question who will feed whom.’ Argued the girls. ‘And, you should be fat enough before we will give ourselves to you…’
‘Mike, we cannot wait till you accomplish your vow and stay a virgin till twenty-three. We need the children to bear. So, you are afraid to give us the seed, as it is really?’ The girls cornered Mike.
It was hard to give the seed to the sick women, Mike knew it, and how hard it was. But, he could not step back. He already made his decision several years ago.
‘No, I will give you the seed.’ Mike said being ashamed…
‘Don’t be stupid, Mike, nobody wants to betray you. We want that you were the father of our children.’ The girls said.
Now, it seemed to Mike that he could understand the things no more. If the girls wanted that he was the father of their children why they needed the other boys? He hated them all…
Mike wanted to go away being tired of all that talk with the girls on this painful subject.
‘Give me the way, I want to go through.’ He said to Inna and Tina after Julia was taken away in tears by her mother.
‘Stop, Michael, stop. We won’t let you go through. Stop. Cool out, do not boil.’ They said in a tender and seductive voice.
Mike stopped not able to resist the feminine charm. He felt as the hormones played between him and the girls.
‘Mike, we know that you are the good boy and you will forbear and suffer that your children did not die. But, we cannot wait for this much, and…’ Mike changed in his countenance after he heard Tina said that.
‘And, we will love one another.’ Inna added. ‘And, we will poke the rubber dicks into our pussies, one to another’s. So, you’ll find no virginity when you take us.’
At that moment, Mike was not able to control himself anymore. He already had in his mind to make a step forward and knock Inna on the belly, the way she would not be able to stand. Then, he was about to beat Tina.
‘Do not touch my daughters!’ He heard a menacing voice in his mind.
Mike stopped having enough time only to make a short movement forward. He was discouraged. Who it had been? The Devil? But, he knew that voice and it was that of his God. Whether Tina and Inna were right and pleased the Lord more than he did himself. Mike was a bit offended and the dry tears appeared on his eyes. There was no way but to comply with the fate.
‘Mike, don’t be offended. We heal you this way. That is the shock therapy.’ Inna said. ‘You even don’t imagine how faithful we are. We are more faithful than you even do think…’
Mike went on his way home after that encounter with the girls. He was irritated and unhappy. It seemed that even the Lord rejected him.
‘Michael,’ he heard the Lord pronounce, ‘don’t be afraid, they will not betray you. They’ll stay virgins and they will not be defiled by others.’
Mike felt as the happiness penetrated through all of his soul, but he stopped. He knew that he felt happy because the Heavenly Father suffered for him.
‘Lord, I will be faithful to you. I will behave myself very well. I will study well. And…and, I will suffer that you did not suffer. I will suffer very much, only that they did not suffer, the girls. I will suffer, Lord, I promise.’ Michael said.
‘You will, Michael.’ The Lord calmly said…
The bully stood his back to the wall. Mike was against him.
‘You think, I don’t know that they hypnotized you? But, I know that they hypnotized and gave you special pills. It was that you should suffer instead of us.’ The bully said with a fear in his eyes, however. ‘And, we will fuck the girls and you will suffer for our sins because they hypnotized you to suffer instead of us.’
‘You are so love-abounding,’ Michael said. ‘Maybe you want that I spoke with somebody that they also gave you the pills and hypnotized you. I could have spoken.’
The pale bully had nothing to do but to go away. Mike wanted to go back to the opposite wall to wait for the teacher to come and open the classroom. But, he could not cope with himself. He followed the bully knowing that he will stop before no obstacles to make him answer for what he said. He followed him descending downstairs.
‘Michael, don’t go down there or I will not be in your harem.’ Mike turned around, it was Helen, a Middle Asia girl from their class.
Calmly, as if in half a dream he went upstairs and stood again on his place, ashamed for the boldness of Helen.
After a few seconds, Max, a boy from Michael’s class, said, ‘Mike, you should go over there and beat the muzzle to that boy, or it might happen that you will hang yourself and your girls will become really the harlots.’
Mike could not find the place for himself because of all this.
‘They said they wanted to be the harlots themselves. So, that’s their wish. If only I could make anything with it.’
‘Mike, you don’t believe them, those girls. That’s a cheat. They’ll never betray you.’ Helen said.
‘But, they said they’d marry the other boys.’ Mike said.
‘So, what of it? I will also marry a guy, but I will stay faithful to you.’ Helen said.
‘But, why you need to marry anybody if you want to stay faithful?’ Mike asked.
‘But, you’re so love abounding. Somebody has to protect me of you.’ Helen said.
‘Helen, you don’t say nonsense. Whether I will offend you?’ Mike asked.
‘You don’t know the way the things are. My grandma was in a harem. She knows all about it. She told me.’ Helen added.
‘But, the sultans, they have the harems.’ Mike said.
‘No, sultans don’t have the harems. The harems are for the shahids. So, you will have a harem only if you are a shahid.’ Helen explained. ‘My grandma was in a harem with four other women, but they were all married to the other men. You think all the boys are that stupid as this one that cursed you. My fiancé is not that stupid. He will simply take care of me.’
Mike stood looking to the green painted wall hardly able to put the things together. But, suddenly, he had a hope. A hope that his children and the children of his girls would not die, no matter how much they all cursed them, even the girls themselves. He was ready to suffer for it. He felt how hard it was to change the fates. But, he knew that his joy would be that his sons and daughters would survive. And, with Julia, he knew that it would be he that would be the father of all her kids, and Jack was of no concern here. All of a sudden, the pattern got clear. But, he felt the pain in his soul, the deep hard pain. Very deep down his soul.
‘Now, go beat the muzzle to that bully when he goes home after the lessons, or else you could hang yourself and then your kids might even die. Surely, will die.’ Helen said calmly.
Mike stood his back to the wall trying to cope with the pain in his soul that turned over all his bowels. Max approached Helen to tease her.
‘So, you want to be in a harem? But, why you don’t want to be a harlot, it could be fun.’ Max said.
‘Max, leave her in peace. Go off.’ Michael warned.
‘You think I am afraid of your friends? Horseradish and other guys? You think I will demand Mike that he should defend me? I will say to Tony Bullington, my fiancé. You think he is afraid of your company? But, he will beat the muzzles to all your friends. You think he got no friends?’ Helen warned.
Max backed down…
‘So, you say you will have a harem? But, why the other boys won’t have the harems? There will not be enough harems for all.’ The fat doctor said. ‘Take down your trousers, we will look what you’ve got in there.’
Mike took down his trousers.
‘But, you’ve got nothing special about you. I’ve seen the guys with bigger dicks.’ The man said.
Mike was ashamed of all this talk, the more so some women that were nurses had some business in the next room and heard all.
‘Do you please the girls? Does your dick stand up on them?’ He asked to put Mike in a predicament of timidity. ‘Don’t play a sissy. Say it the way it is.’
‘Yes, Mister. It happens sometimes.’ Mike said.
‘Sometimes? If it happens sometimes you’ll hardly have a harem. How often in happens?’ The doctor went on his interrogation.
‘It all depends. Sometimes it happens several times a day.’ Mike honestly answered.
‘Ok, do you have sexual fantasies? I mean do you see in your dreams the scenes of the intimate relations with the girls?’ The doctor asked.
‘Yea, not very often, but…’ Mike hardly said.
‘Not very often? But you have to see it often if you want to have a harem. Try not to lose your time in vain and think oftener on it. Do you wish the adult women?’ The doctor asked again.
Mike was ashamed but he knew it was the case when it was necessary to say the truth, ‘Yes.’
‘Ok, let’s look what you’ve got in your loins. Do not be afraid, I will push on your belly and see what it is like with you.’ He warned.
He pushed and an expression of the appreciating surprise appeared on his face.
‘That tough! Yea, so tough. Does it happen the constipation with you, and for how many days you do not defecate?’ He asked with more respect.
‘For several days in the past when I was a little boy. Once it was for two weeks.’ Mike said.
‘Two weeks? Yea, it seems you say the truth about a harem.’ He said. ‘And, you did well to say the truth in that we have to know it to cure you in the future if you have the problems with you health.’
‘Do not frighten the boy before the time,’ a woman in the white smock said. ‘He will have enough of it in his life.’
‘Ok, you can go and call for the rest of the boys to come in.’ The men said.
Mike took on his trousers and the rest of the clothes and went out of the room. He said to the boys to come in. After the few minutes the boys went out smiling to one another.
‘What do you smile for? He said something to you?’ Mike asked.
‘He said you will have a harem and we will feed your children, all of us.’ The boys smiled.
Mike feared that they derided him…
The woman in a white medical smock that was on some business in the school, the one to do with the girls, stopped when she saw Mike. She leaned herself forward to add more impressiveness to what she would say.
‘So, Mike, you should know. There was a medical test with the girls and be sure you will find no virginity with them. We kind of disposed of it. No virginity, Mike.’ She said in a cunning way.
Mike felt it had somehow to do with him, but he did not know for sure whether it was a joke or all serious. The memories got into his mind, but he was not able to cope with them as for now. He only recalled about the matter of three years ago.
‘You think you only one want to suffer for the children. We also are ready to suffer. And, we will suffer also.’ The girls opposed.

Attempt

The food factory was situated near the school. That is why, it was the victim of the often assaults on it territory on the part of the schoolboys. To steal the low quality grapes intended for the wine production, it was necessary to get over a six feet fence and find a wooden planks box with grapes and take some of it. But, that time the task was made easier by the fact that the place where the fence met the brick wall of the shop was open. The fence itself was closer to the street than the wall of the shop and in that corner a pair of the planks were torn off. Here, a man put a bag full of first grade chosen grapes and sausages. It was to pass it over to somebody. Surely, it was a steal from the enterprise by itself. Chuck, who was the courageous and cheeky boy approached the fence and grasped the handles of the brown leatherette bag and tried to pull it out through that part of the fence where the planks were torn off. Still, it was not successful because of too much of hazard and a too strong pull on a too big bag. All he was able to do was to take out a cluster of grapes to run away and share it with his comrades after the man had detected him. The man got very angry because of the attempt to steal what he had prepared himself to be stolen. He took the remainders of the small apples and grapes left after they had been squeezed for the juice to prepare the wine and threw that stuff into the boys that teased him. He did it out of the forceless wickedness.
‘Come closer, bitches! Come closer!’ He cried loudly.
It was a real madness for an adult man. Afterwards, a car arrived and a man took the bag full of food prepared for him.
Then, the food factory was leveled to the ground the same as the Soviet system, which it had been the genuine part of.

Bargained benefits

Small Michael sat in the KGB office in the quite corner of the city.
‘You know,’ Mike began, ‘No girl wants to be with me after my sickness except Julia. It’s a kind of conspiracy against me. So, I want to pay because they ask that. I mean herself and her mother.’
‘What she wants?’ the officer demanded.
‘She wants a cottage, a room in the Krasnoyarsk, a small lorry and a bit else. Can I pay from my account?’ Mike asked.
‘You’ve got an account? You’ve got an account in the bank with us?’ the officer laughed.
‘I mean that I did a lot of things: ate the pills with the vaccines and you take my blood to heal the girls, I thought of many things for your military industry like I thought of the engine on the coal, I killed the Tadjiks for that girl. I mean that you benefited from this. So, I just need all that in return for the case you would do such things in the future and it would be an example of how you deal with the people. I’d never ask that much. Simply, that’s the fettering conditions. Let me pay her like a harlot for each night during those three years. I think it will make the right number. How much the whores are paid in Moscow. All in all, that’s a State program.’ Mike reasoned.
The officer replied after a moment of thinking, ‘But, why so hard? Why to call the girl a whore? Simply, she also needs to be fortunate in the life.’
‘Ok,’ Mike said, ‘But, I feel it does not change the essence of the deal because she does it for the other boys. To love them and all.’
Mike did not want to pay with the money he earned and would earn with his suffering for somebody’s generosity. If Julia would be called the right word Mike would not cover her and her property with his protection for the rest of his life. Even though, they wanted to make the conditions enslaving Mike wanted to resist. It were they who touted Julia for him even after Mike was disappointed in her and wanted another girl for the ground they knew themselves alone. Maybe, again they wanted to make Mike pay for their own business?
‘But why you cannot make those girls keep faith to me, whether I did not pay to them with my own blood and money? You could do it.’ Mike proposed.
‘That’s your personal life. It depends on you if the girls please you or not.’ The officer said.
Mike could not object. Even though the girls would betray him he still felt love for them.
‘Then, after all, may I write a book about my life and tell the truth about those girls and call them harlots, due that’s a literary word and in the Bible they say that way about unfaithful women for whom they paid the fine but they did not keep virgin for their husbands or refuse to marry the one who paid.’ Mike offered.
‘You need it?’ the officer asked.
‘Yea, that’s all I ask. And, if they apply to the court for the breach of their reputation I am of no concern to what you paid for them. Then, that’s your own business, theirs and yours.’ Mike said.
‘You want a career as a writer?’ the officer asked.
‘Yea, you know I still hope that they would repent and love me because I can die and I need somebody to love…’ Mike said before interrupted.
‘But, why you don’t love just one girl?’ the officer asked.
‘It’s because I paid for many and because otherwise there would be a conflict of interest in the blood and the antibodies may turn the viruses again like it was with AIDS when they wanted to make the apes to pay for the sins of human beings. You tried it with the boys and it showed it was wrong and gave out bad effects.’ Mike responded.
‘Ok, you cover it strong. You can write what you want only in the frameworks of decency. You should only know that we cannot interfere in the private life of the people. They can understand us the wrong way. The former times have gone.’ The officer commented. ‘But, how you imagine it practically to help the Julia’s family to acquire all this property?’
‘I thought about that. All you need is to help her get employed in the subsidiary of the Minusinsk construction trust as an accountant. Then, when the capitalism will get on the way in our country, all other construction firms would be declared bankrupt because all the construction would get private consisting in building the cottages because our town is a rural one. And, in the end, the subsidiary would not get bankrupt because its mother company would have the orders in the Minusinsk city, a much bigger town. After all, the subsidiary would become an isolated company owned by the accountant and the boss after they’d buy the property of the former subsidiary at the amortized cost price. Then, they’d get a contract from the State to be paid by the salaries from the State finance as much as they’d deem it right themselves…’ Mike said.
‘And, what is there that could be built in your small town?’ the officer asked.
‘Nothing, but the main hospital building is to be maid a capital repair. It would be enough.’ Mike ended.
‘You’ve got quite the brains.’ The officer commented.
Mike knew what he would think about the girls when they would betray him and love the other boys. He would think that they were lesbians. It would be so because it was and would be too hard for him to know that Mike helped and would help the girls but they lived with the other men and returned almost nothing for what he paid. Once, he had tried to speak about it with the father of Tina but he had just cursed and said that it had been a lie about what Mike had said and that his daughter had not been sick. Nobody wanted to give anything in return. Maybe, Mike would never invest in the girls if his life was not in an imminent threat of a possible death because of the attacks of the mental sickness which would result from the sexual forbearance as the only way to fight the disease now. Then, he recalled about what they had said in the beginning. They had said like Mike had just defended his father from the death by taking his turn on eating the pills with the army vaccines. They had said there had been too little room for a possible maneuver to make an economical profit. Still, it was a lie. How much a man would pay for the health of his daughter? That she would not get blind, deaf and otherwise sick, or even returned back from such a state of her health? Mike knew that much.

Credit

Mike sat on a wooden chair in the office of KGB in Shushenskoe.
‘I need a house for my parents and first wife to live in when I’m grown up,’ Mike announced.
‘So, your ideas about it?’ the officer asked.
‘I want that you should find some people that they’d involve my dad in the business of trading the wood. It would be good if they gave a credit to the firm my dad would take part in. It would be for them to buy the wood processing machine-tools and start the business.’ Mike said.
‘Thus, you want to be the son of the owner of a wood processing factory? But, how you will forbear of the sex as you said?’ The officer asked. ‘You would be a playboy then, have a car and ride the girls in it. It does not match.’
Mike knew that he could not give an honest word not to be a playboy. It would be stupid.
‘You can take away the wood factory after all, only that my dad had the time to build a house with the part of the credit money. Provided for they will not take away our property when the affair is over. You may take away the wood factory from Shushenskoe on the pretences that there’s little wood for it. It’s because the State offices would not give them the freedom to run the business and buy enough wood. I mean that my dad needs money to drink and womanize, then I can begin to fast and go crazy easier.’ Mike told.
‘So, it should be a big credit and a big wood factory? Ok, that’s a deal.’ The officer said.
Mike kept silence for a moment, then pronounced, ‘I have the apprehensions that I might lose all including that house if my parents refuse from me when I’ll go crazy.’
‘But, you are a kid. How you deem it possible for us to provide that the house was registered in your name?’ The officer asked.
‘It’s not necessary. It’s ok that the house is registered in the names of my mother and father. You simply interfere if they get the idea to get rid of me in the process of my fasting when I’ll be crazy.’ Mike asked.
‘Ok, will look after it,’ the officer said…
Mike felt pity because he could not be the son of the owner of the wood factory. Many young men would have the expensive cars and business to that time when he would be after the sickness. Those that did not do for their country as much as Mike had done. He thought of the principles of the antimissile rockets that would destroy the ballistic rockets with a hundred percent probability. He also invented the mechanism that would act against a locator to make a submarine, ship or aircraft really invisible for the rockets working on the electronics. It was after they had called him into the KGB office and said he had sold the fatherland. It had been because he had passed over to a spy from the West a simple principle that would make the electronics and computer be able to be used by any pilot or sailor who does not know the languages of the programming. Mike had just said it was a way for them to collect the money for the reparation. He had said it had been for the civil use because his new inventions had made the electronics of no practical use. Of course, the Westerners had caught the flair of the danger after they had produced in Russia the anti-aircraft infantry complexes working on those principles. The missile had reacted not on the heat but on the electro-magnetic anomaly created by the body and engine of a ballistic rocket, an aircraft or submarine so the effect had been that of a hundred percent. It had been the time of the communism in Russia yet and first they had said that it would be good to make a victorious nuclear war to prove the prevalence of the Soviet system. Mike had persuaded it had been a bad idea because it would have turned the same as with the nuclear bomb invented by the Americans. They had passed over that secret to the communists because they had been afraid for the future of that part of the humanity. Then, the Americans would have threatened an immediate nuclear crises not to give to Russia the time to modernize the submarines, ships and aircraft and antimissile defense system. He had persuaded it had been better to make the American to pay a ransom by raising the oil and gas prices. For Mike, the only possibility had been to live in a capitalist system. Only that way he could realize his polygamy ideas. The socialist system of egalitarian principles had not been fit for his future. He honestly asked the middle aged KGB officers if they did not like to have a firm and mansion in the logic end of the life.
‘You know, Mike. We also think how to fuck off with that socialism,’ an officer had said to make the further communication frank and simple.
Mike had been a kind of wonder with all his murders for the sake of the honor and life of the offended women and that story when he had eaten the military vaccines for the case of a bacteriological war instead of his father guilty before his fatherland. Then, he had been the inventor of the principles of the new strategic and tactic weaponry. That is why, many world celebrities and politicians had come to Shushenskoe to look at Mike for the different purposes. This way, Mike had helped for his country to find the allies for the policy of raising the oil and gas prices by his personal authority when the people had been touched by his story. He knew he would invest his efforts into the common cause that should bring the billions of dollars to the Russian economy and a possibility to rebuild the capitalism and securely bring the socialist revolution to a logic end: when all the stolen would be completely divided among the successors of the revolutionists. And now, he could not be the son of the owner of the wood factory when the other people would be the oligarchs. Mike felt the emptiness of his existence. And, he felt the girls would not wait for him. But, he provided them with the property and good careers for their parents. They said in the KGB office that the boys they would marry would not sleep with them but only to defend them from others for Mike’s sake. But, Mike could not make himself fully believe it. He hoped not only for the fact that if he were not given what he earned they would lose the profits this way or other by the logic of that life. But also, that the blood would assure his interests when the people would fear the curse of the sicknesses he would have the immunity for. He knew he would not lose the earned anyway. The more he would lose when the girls would betray him the more he would get in the end because the sicknesses of the style he only would have the serious immunity for would propagate more also. That would bring about the necessity of more women and more children for him and thus more money and property in the conditions when he justified his existence a thousand-fold. So, Mike knew that the patience would carry the day.

Why being a writer

‘So, you maybe want to be the manager of a big company after all? Just to own and run a business to feed your family?’ The officer demanded.
‘No, I want to be a writer and write my short stories in English that they should not pass the rumors about the girls and talk it over once I wrote it in Russian where they live. The more so, I want to earn the money and a Russian edition would not pay much. And, it seemed to me the Russian audience is not interested in such things as I would write about.’ Mike used that clever word “audience” to show he was ready to pay despising for the neglect he received in the Russian society.
‘So, you want to earn the foreign currency, to hew down a bit of the “greens”?’ The officer put it more precise.
‘Yea,’ Mike responded.
‘Thus, you do not accept our offer of the help. You do not trust the State?’ The officer asked.
‘No, that’s not the matter of the trust or disbelieve. Simply, I do not want that the State invested directly to breeding my kids. In such a case, they would have been a kind of the property of the State, and could have been used as the rabbits for the different experiments with the infections. I want that all knew I earned myself for my kids and they can be free. And, if I’m successful enough in the writing of books, I’d like to invest the foreign money in the Russian economy on the level I am able to reach.’ Mike explained.
‘Seems you’ll be a good father,’ the officer said. ‘But this way, you should be independent. In such a case, we hardly are in the conditions to fully help you except if you earn the money and are able to invest and buy the shares of the Russian enterprises.’
‘Yea, I’m ready to,’ Mike concluded.


Future shareholder

The chief of the local KGB office came to Mike’s father and they drank vodka to conclude a peace agreement and to show there were no offences kept. Then, they called Mike from the children room. Mike went into the kitchen.
‘Hello, Mike,’ said the officer.
‘Hello,’ Mike greeted the man intimidated because they informed one of his parents on the affair.
‘So, you’ve got intimidated?’ he asked. ‘But, you was not intimidated with the Tadjiks. You’re specially intimidated of something? Maybe, of my society?’
‘No, I’m just surprised in a good way you came to our flat,’ Mike answered.
‘But, there’s a question. Will you revenge to me for the old scores? For that story with your dad?’ The man asked.
‘But, it’s all over,’ Mike said. ‘That’s of no concern now because you’ve already helped me so much in my personal affairs.'
‘Ok, and what’s about that?’ the man demanded again.
‘I want to compensate you with a share in the stock of the company that will produce the tea of the coca leaves. The one I’ll build in our town.’ Mike explained.
‘But, why they’ll build such a factory here and not in Moscow, for example?’ the KGB officer asked.
‘It’s because the people in our city were exposed to the whole affair with the vaccination against all those sicknesses. They should be compensated for their fears. It’s a double lined thing, they might get the immunity through the antibodies, but they might get the weakened microbes in a kind of everyday communication vaccination. And, they should be fed in a good way not to let the microbes multiply. This way they should get the good salaries for them and their children that should return into the natal city until all’s over. They should have enough of the living room in their flats. It will be the kind of the quarantine.’ Mike said more.
‘But, how I will buy a share in such a company?’ the officer asked.
‘We’ll give you a credit for buying the shares. Then you will pay the loan and percents by the profits of trading the coca tea through a private firm, the subsidiary of the mother company, which will be owned by the State in fifty one percent share, and the dividends on the shares.’ Mike explained.
‘But, that’s the corruption,’ the man apprehended.
‘It’s not the corruption. It is not the corruption to compensate a man that has the merits before his fatherland. The corruption is when an official that has the right of the choice takes the money from a private person, an occasional person. By that he shows the preference to that person before a man that has the merits before the State and society, who also applies for a permit to have a lucrative business.’ Mike explained.
‘You said right,’ the officer said in an astonishment of Mike’s wits. ‘Will you write in your book about me and that idea of yours?’
‘Yea,’ Mike said. ‘That’s a promise.’
‘And, the same, can I tell to those uncles whom I work with about what you’ve said?’ the man asked.
‘Yes, of course,’ was Mike’s answer.
There was a moment of silence, then the dad said, ‘Ok, Mike, you can go. We have to speak about some things with Mr. Prohorov.’
Mike went into his room.

Aluminum plant documentation

When Mike was in the KGB office they said to him that the Westerners did not give a good price for the vaccine which had originated of him.
‘They did not pay enough,’ an officer said.
Then there was plan to build a second aluminum plant in Sayanogorsk, city in a fifty kilometers distance from Shushenskoe. There was the reserve electricity from the nearby hydro electrical station that did not work at its full power. It was arranged to apply to a foreign construction firm for a new technology technical documentation for the new aluminum plant. And, to give them the slip and not pay them after the full exploring of the new technology by the Russian specialists who would build the new technology aluminum plant indeed instead of the foreigners. It was agreed it should be Canadians.
‘You should hang over there for some business for the legitimacy of the operation. That there should be no shooting after the deal is over.’ The officer said.
Thus, it was arranged that Mike should apply for a job of an interpreter, get it but not to go to the work and appear on a pretence on the plant to be seen by the foreigners only when the presence of the foreigners would be almost over. In return, they promised to sell him ten percents of the shares of the stock of the new aluminum plant.


The way

After Mike had taken those pills he felt rum, and that feeling intensified with each day. He was afraid that he would die and contaminate the people around him, the people he loved, kinsmen and friends. He needed something to do. He was very small of age, but he listened to his instincts. There was only one way to help him. To kill the microbes in his body, it was necessary to poison them. Mike knew that it was impossible to kill all the microbes in his blood, but to weaken them was possible. He needed the poison very much as if it was a cure for him. He knew there was in the house the poison for the foxes, to hunt them. It was what he needed. The granddad said that it was almost impossible to kill a fox with that poison. It was necessary to know the right measure. If the poison were not enough, the fox would just get dizzy but recover. If the poison were too much, the fox would vomit it out. Mike surely did not know his own measure, but there was almost no risk, especially if to reckon that it was the only way not to die of those pills with the antibodies of the dead soldiers that turned now to be the microbes. He already took a big risk and to risk more was now his way in the life. So, he needed to poison himself.
There was another reason for that. Mike needed a way to secure his future. He knew that he would feel very bad because of all those pills. He needed to somehow make all it in a way that they would not leave him in a orphanage house when he would get sick, and that they should take care of him. It was a way to make them feel guilty as if they were those who originated the sickness with him. He knew it would be easy to provoke the grandma to a frank talk about his family status and make it look like a kind of an attempt to suicide. An attempt to attract the attention to his person. There were some problems in his family, and he knew he would be able to act it in a way as though the adults of his family were guilty of that attempt to poison himself. All that was necessary was to change the salt in a wooden cup that stood before the gas oven for the fox poison that was of the same taste and was hidden in a cupboard in the pantry. Mike did it. The dad would go to the river and catch some fish. The grandma would fry the fish and strew the fox poison instead of salt. All it was necessary was to play a victim of the family troubles and to have enough courage to eat the fish. The dad and grandma would eat a little also, it was a pledge he would not turn weak of the spirit and change his mind. All would look as though they were all guilty of his sickness, and when he would suffer in the future they would not dispose of him. What he felt was the fear that he had very little time. Tomorrow could be too late. The microbes got stronger and stronger. He should eat a lot of poison and what was most important he should not vomit even if he felt very bad. He waited for the poisoned fish as if it was a birthday dish…
‘So, Mike, you took us all hostage, a kind of terrorist. Now, your requirements?’ The man in the civil coat asked.
Mike did not understand what was what. He simply had wanted to help. He knew that what he wanted was the way to solve the matter with the sick girls. And, now these men had taken him from the kindergarten into that gray building with a sword and shield coat of arms to interrogate.
‘I’m not a terrorist.’ The boy said. ‘You simply help the girls and look that they did not harm them.’
‘Ok, Mike, I understand what you mean, but do not elude form answering my question. What do you want? We looked into your blood tests and it made us alarmed. But, we used it in a way to solve some problems of ours. We vaccinated the sick girls with your antibodies and it showed a good result. It seems that they are Ok now. It was the only way to solve the problem with them. But, there is now another problem. If you are not a biological father of their children, their children will be sick or even die. It is so because your antibodies would not match with the antibodies of their fathers. Hmm, now your offers, Mike. How we should solve that problem? Give your ideas. Maybe, it’s necessary to put them in a kind of jail and under custody of the soldiers?’ The man edged Mike on pronouncing his opinion. ‘You know, Mike, we all respect you, and we appreciate your courage, but you should help us the way you started. Though you are a little boy, you make valiant deeds. So, you should think in an adult way. I talk to you as a man to a man. Say what you think.’
Mike was a bit happy, though he surely felt an ambush ahead, but he was going to play the way it was necessary to.
‘It’s bad to ask the soldiers to protect them, because the soldiers might seduce them. It would be better if some adult women being soldiers protected them.’ Mike gave out his opinion.
‘But, who will protect those women who are soldiers?’ The man asked.
‘It is not necessary to protect them because they’ve got the machineguns.’ Mike told.
The other men that sat in the office room laughed to show there was something wrong with what Mike said.
‘But, where we will get so many women who are soldiers? Maybe, we should give the machineguns and soldier equipment to the moms of those girls? To put the whole city on the military state? But, what with the rest of the country? You know, Mike, that’s a democratic country. The people have the civil rights. We cannot make it the way you ask us to do.’ The man said and let the silence to hang over the room.
At that moment, Mike recalled how he had asked the other boys to marry some of the sick girls he had known, but they all had laughed and gone away as though Mike had said some nonsense. But, now when his blood helped the girls to recover, they all wanted to make him lose what he wanted in life. And, most strange was that he was weakened because he had eaten the pills and helped the girls. All thought that it was equitable to handle Mike in that way. Though, he himself did not find it to be right.
‘But, it is my antibodies that helped them. And, I will be sick and… It’s bad if some other boys take them wives. They just should wait till I am Ok and can be a father to the kids. I love just several girls, and it would be bad if the children are sick and die all the same.’ Mike said now with a sure knowledge that nobody would help him.
‘But, you think that the other boys cannot produce the antibodies? You think that you one are better than ten or hundred boys? Do not overestimate yourself. All we want is that you did not frighten the girls and boys in the kindergarten and on the street. You know what is the responsibility? It is when a man solves his own problems. You should solve your own problems now. Do you know about the purity of the experiment? It is necessary to prove some statement. So, if you want to have what you want, it is your own problem. Nobody will solve it instead of you. We cannot help you in that if we help you then you will have no stimulus to prove your opinion. You should struggle yourself and find a place for yourself in the life. It was your choice to take the pills instead of your father, but now you should help us to solve the main problem of what to do with you. You may be very dangerous and cause even more problems that you helped us to solve, so you have to go under a medical treatment and cure yourself. You should take pills and all the stuff. You understand?’ The man asked.
‘Yes, I understand, I will take the pills and I will make all not to be contagious…’ Mike said before being interrupted.
‘Yes, you should take care not to become contagious, because if you are contagious we will take care of you and make you go under a treatment. All, we can promise you is a pension of invalidity. You know it was a bad idea of yours to take those pills, we simply made all depending on us to use it in a profitable way for the society owing the society will have to take care of you and pay you a pension when you’ll be sick. You understand?’ He demanded.
The hatred helped Mike not to let the tears to show on his eyes. He cursed in his heart all those men and wished them a death, as painful as they promised to him. He felt as the forces got out of him to execute this curse but the hatred helped him to find more forces.
‘Yes, I understand. I will not say anymore about it. And, I’ll try to be useful to the society. But, I want to be a writer. And, if I am able to survive over all it can I write a book about me that the other boys should not act the way I did, and there was no problems like I have created for you?’ Mike demanded.
Mike was not afraid of anything, of death and any harm. He knew he was necessary to those men in the civil coats. They may need his blood in the future. And, even if they threatened him with a death, it would not be very bad in comparison with what was awaiting for him. All kept silence.
‘Mike, don’t think we are this bad as it seems to you. Simply, we cannot give you any guarantees. Your future is in your hands. You are very important for us, and we will take care of you that nobody caused you the harm, simply promise us to behave in a good way not to spoil the whole game. Because there is so many hopes connected with you. But, you should understand that if all is assured with you, you’ll have no stimulus to fight with the microbes in your blood, and your children might be sick. Simply, do not tell much about it. That’s called the secrecy. Just keep it in your mind and we will help you on a distance. But, that’s your fight and you should fight well. You know what is the sport? It’s a kind of sport and all should be honest for you to be a right winner. And, if you can you should write a book about you that there were more boys like you.’ The man commented.
Here Mike nearly smiled on account that no boys would be like him after they know the way it turned for him. No boys like that but him there had been and would be. But, he wanted to write about his story that no boys should act in such a stupid way like he had acted. Maybe, he was really too avid? It was painful that all the people turned their backs on him, but what gave him the interest to live was that he had to solve now the problem with his own surviving. He was one against many. One against hundreds and thousands. Whether he was a hero? No, they like the heroes, those who are fortunate with women, and they did not like him even knowing it was his blood that helped them. What he wanted? To come his way through and to write a book that no other boy would happen to be on his place…
‘You know, Mike, if I could help you, if I could happen to be on your place.’ The man said.
Mike felt the feigned stuff. The man could easily happen to be on Mike’s place if he took those pills made of the blood of the dead soldiers. He could produce the antibodies and help the girls. Or maybe, he was too old? Mike was angry that he was left alone with his problem, but he knew it was quite natural. He recalled how Chuck’s dad that was the main doctor of the district had tried to vaccinate his son with Mike’s blood. Chuck was the same age as Mike. His dad had nearly wept and asked Mike to visit Chuck that had been sick. It had been in the kindergarten. Mike had accepted to find Chuck on his bed in a fever while the blood had leaked from his nose. Mike had said to Chuck that he had been a prophet and could say to the microbes to leave his body, that the microbes had been afraid of him. Really, it was the way it was, and hardly anything could be changed. Mike knew that his blood would revenge. The men were stupid not to understand it.
‘So, Mike we will take you to the kindergarten by the car. I hope our talk was not in vain.’ The man at the desk had said…
Mike played with the plastic straw.
‘Yea, Chuck, I will fight till blood with those foreign guys when they arrive to our city. I’ll provoke them for a blood spill.’ Michael said calmly.
‘But, Mike whether there is not the other way around? You could go to my dad and gave your blood as them donors do.’ Chuck opposed.
‘It is necessary that there was enough adrenaline in the blood to strengthen the antibodies. And, what can be better than a hand scrap. They allowed me.’ Michael said…
Jane stood holding a grip on the boy she had chosen to be her husband.
‘And, he will allow me to sleep with anybody I like. And, he is ready even to die for me.’ She cried with much anger.
Her boy that was elder than Mike looked being frightened meeting Mike’s eyes that were full of anger…
‘Let me go through,’ Mike said angrily to the girls.
‘But, don’t be stupid, Mike. We want that you should be the father of our children. Do not play a fool. All want to have the children from you. We want that you should be the father.’ The girls announced to make Mike a bit glad…
‘But, you should wait till we are twenty-eight for us to become widows, and Jane also said that she wants to be in your harem. You should accept it.’ The girls insisted…
When Mike went by the girls and that small boy Alex who volunteered to be Julia’s husband after Mike due Mike did not want to pass much time with a woman of doubted reputation considering all her adulterations, Julia said in an ostensibly loud voice. ‘I will bear you ten children. Are you ready to take care of them?’
‘Yea, sure.’ Alex said…
Mike’s dad Jack sat with a friend at the kitchen table. He was drunk. They drank a lot of liquor.
‘So, Mike, you are a tough guy I acknowledge it, to eat up those pills. But, I also am not a weak one. I would also have kept on my legs for some time to give out the antibodies. Yea, be sure.’ He said to call the bad memories into Mike’s soul…
‘So, Mike, say me to what side your dick does turn.’ The fat doctor asked. ‘It’s necessary for us to make a decision what way to make it with the girls, left or right.’
Michael felt that it was derision, though he knew that every joke had a portion of the truth in it.
‘It turns left a little bit.’ Mike said…
Mike went home by the cocktail bar. It was the summer. He was a schoolboy already and had a vacation. He was in a good mood and the life seemed to be happy. Suddenly, he saw three boys that went to the opposite direction of the byway. They smiled in an evil way and surely they had something bad to tell to Michael.
‘You fool, stand still over there we have something to tell you.’ The boys that were older said to Mike.
Mike stood up and held the can with the milk in his hand.
‘Do you know that there is a boy that consented to participate in the program instead of you, and he will let anybody to fuck your girls, to the soldiers and all. They’ll hold them in a prison and allow anybody to fuck them. They’ll be the harlots the way they should be. What you’re gonna tell, the fool?’ They asked.
‘It won’t happen.’ Mike said.
The boys went up to Mike and one of them knocked Mike on the belly. Mike felt nausea and some of the milk spilled over upon the ground from the metal can. Mike had an instinct to go forward and fight, but the milk can in his right hand did not allow it. He was afraid that the boys could make the milk spill over from the can. Still, his eyes were full of hatred.
‘You fool, you are of no concern anymore. They have already vaccinated him with your blood. They decided not to lose the time with you anymore. You are of no use anymore. Nobody needs you. You’ll go crazy and pass your life in the madhouse. You fool, even your girls don’t need you anymore. They’ve preferred to be the harlots.’ The boys told.
At that minute, Mike saw the girls that appeared from behind a corner of the bus station building. They approached Mike to say something. And, surely they meant no good.
‘So, if I am of no interest, I can go?’ Mike asked.
‘You fool, stand here while the girls will spit upon your face. And, we will look that you did not jerk.’ One of the boys told.
The girls approached. Somebody kicked Mike upon the ass while he looked toward the girls. Mike put down the milk can and took the penknife out of his pocket and pulled out the blade.
‘Well, bitches, who’ll die first?’ Mike asked holding the knife fast in his right hand.
‘He’s got a knife!’ cried out one of the girls and they ran away.
The older boys told some insulting words but did not have enough guts to go against a penknife. While they were far off enough Mike took the milk can in his left hand and holding a grip on the brown hilt of the penknife went home…
‘But, you’ll die or go crazy if you take those pills.’ Mike said to his father in his childish language. ‘And, you can infect the mom.’
‘I will not sleep with the mom and I will not infect her.’ The dad said.
‘But, you may refuse of eating these pills.’ Mike said.
‘No, Mike, if I refuse they’ll shoot me down. That’s serious.’ The dad pronounced.
‘But, what will become of me and Nick?’ Michael asked.
‘His own dad will take care of him. And, they promised to me that they’d take care of you. You’ll be in an orphanage house and the State will bring you up in a good way. They promised to me.’ The father said.
Mike recalled the frequent scandals that had occurred very often in their flat last days. As the mom had said that all those harlots would bring disaster to the home. The mom even had thrown the knife into the father, but he had just stood still and had not tried to hide himself from the blade leaning his back upon the wall beside the window.
Mike knew why it all happened in their family. The dad had a good immunity and they coaxed him into sleeping with the harlots whom they paid good money, now he should eat those pills. But, Mike had an idea. What if he ate the pills first instead of his father, then he could have fun in the future after the suffering. Vice versa, not like it was with his dad. First fun, then suffering and sickness. Mike could first eat the pills and then sleep with the women due he would have the immunity. In that it was bad that the harlots did not bear the kids to the dad and it was all in vain. There should have been the kids that they should not have acted with the dad the way they did. There should have been kids.
‘But, daddy, why those women did not bear the kids to you? If it was so, then they’d did not let you eat those pills, and you’d take care of your kids.’ Mike asked.
‘Simply, those women were sick and could not bear me the kids. It would have been sick children and they’d die or curse me that I allowed them to be born.’ The dad said.
‘But, you’ll go crazy and there’ll be always the foam on your mouth and you won’t be able to say anything reasonable. They’ll all despise you.’ Mike said.
‘Simply, Mike, I love those women and I want that they had the kids. You’ll have many brothers and sisters. They took off me what is necessary for the kids to be born. And, now it is necessary for me to eat those pills and produce the antibodies to vaccinate those women for the kids to be healthy. They have promised they’ll take care of you all.’ The dad told.
‘But, father, they can cheat you. They may make you eat those pills and bear the children to some other men.’ Mike supposed.
‘No, Mike, that’s not so. It’s my antibodies and it will be my children. If it’s not so it will not come anything good out of all it. You know, Mike, your mom also was sick and she had the miscarriages month after month, and we could not give birth to you. And, I swore that if there is a chance I will give birth to as many kids as I can to somehow make up for those dead brothers and sisters of yours your mom did not bear.’ The father said.
‘You dad, you won’t regret, I will be one as good as all them your kids, my sisters and brothers that were not born. You will not regret, I promise.’ Mike said now sure that he would take pills instead of his father.
He knew that because his dad gave him the life, Mike could help his father to give birth to all those kids. He knew that the blood would match and there would be no conflict of interest and the antibodies would not fight against one another. He did not want that his dad should go crazy, and he knew that his brothers and sisters born from those women would have regretted it also if it had been that way. Mike also wanted to somehow justify all those miscarriages his mom had had before he was born.
‘But, they will not love you if you are this way,’ Mike said.
‘No, Mike they’ll love me even if I’ll become a holy fool, because I gave them the life. But, you should be my inheritor. You should promise me to take care of your brothers and sisters.’ The dad said.
‘You dad, you simply do not do it right now. I’ll be your inheritor. Just let me see another day when you are still healthy and able to play with me. I want that my father belonged to me just one more day of my life. You simply leave it till tomorrow.’ Mike proposed.
‘You know, Mike, as they tell. Do not leave to tomorrow what you can do today…But, I’ll see one more day and…I’ll play with you after I return from the work. Ok, I’ll leave it to tomorrow.’ The dad consented.
Mike knew that his idea was right due the dad would not be able to cope with those pills. Mike knew that many soldiers had died for the doctors to be able to produce those pills. Those soldiers had been kidnapped in different countries. They had not been soldiers really. They had just said those men had been the soldiers. They had been kidnapped by the Russian intelligence service agents to be carried into the laboratories. It was so because they had the immunity but did not want to have the children from the women and just slept with them giving no life not to exhaust their own immunity. That’s why they had become the victims of the Russian doctors. If they had had the kids, it would not have ended that way. Simply, they had offended the women and the Lord had smitten them with such a death. Mike knew that his dad would not be able to last for long also. He knew that they would put him into a black plastic packet with a zipper, and then the children that he intended to give birth to would also die or be sick and suffer. Mike knew that it would be much better if he ate the pills and the dad should take care of him when he would be sick and mad. Then, it would be better. And, all the kids could survive. It was the only way out how Mike could help his brothers and sisters. Mike was sure that he would not lose the time and would eat up the pills as soon as the dad left the room. He hoped that he would find a way how to procure enough time for him to resist the microbes on account he was afraid that they would take him into a hospital and give a treatment of syringe shots and pills that might spoil all. He knew he should be one to one with those microbes, or else the medicines could weaken him the same way as the microbes. He should be strong. It should be an honest struggle of him against the microbes. He should find something to get all them doctors off his spoor…
Mike felt very rum. He poisoned himself with that fox venom but still he felt rum. He felt the death to live in his body. He heard the voices and saw those soldiers. How they died and how painful it was. He knew he was going to die if somebody did not help him. Here he recalled about the Lord Jesus Christ.
‘Lord Jesus Christ, please help me and suffer along with me. Simply, I am weak now and if I had a friend I would ask him to help me, but… But, I have no friend. If you want to be my friend…It’s all honest. I will suffer the same way, but when I am adult and strong enough. I just… Simply, there was no other way. And, if you suffer along with me I will share your suffering on the cross. I will help you to drink the cup of sins. I will also make a swallow from this cup. Or better several swallows, many of swallows. You just help me not to die and share my suffering right now, now…I am just not strong enough. If you were my friend…If you will be my friend, I will also suffer along with you when it will be necessary. I will help you suffer when you are on the cross. It’s also the sins, all these sicknesses. And, I’ll help you to cope with those sins. It’s my share. Just help me now, and I will help you when it is necessary. I will help you much. I will suffer again more and more, all my life, you just help me not to die now, because then many children, my brothers and sisters might die. And, they’ll put my dad to the jail and torture that he did not eat those pills. You should help me if you are a friend. But, do not tell anything as for now, just help me, because I am afraid of all those voices. Just help me and I will know that you do exist…They say that you do not exist and that’s a sin. If you help me I will tell to all that you do exist. Just help me right now.’ Mike said feeling the cold sweat all over his body, such one as to make the clothes to stick to the skin…
‘So, Mike, you say us that we kept all those harlots off your dad? But what if we take your blood and vaccinate your father. Then, it will be better for you and for him. You be sure that we will let the harlots to take avail of him. Do you regret?’ The police officer asked.
‘No, that’s normal. You simply do not give him such pills and do not fire from the job or put in a jail, in that he will take care of me.’ The boy replied.
‘Ok, Mike, that’s a deal, but you say about syphilis, hepatitis and the stuff like this, but what about AIDS? Will you cope with it?’ The tall man in the blue uniform asked. ‘It’s to do with the monkeys. If you want to be a kind of monkey for the girls, maybe you’ll be fortunate to find a common language with the monkeys?’
‘They forgave me and promised that my kids would not die of it in that I will write that they did not contaminate the monkeys with the microbes for the sins of the men, and the Lord will help me.’ Mike answered…
‘But, your kids will die all the same. The doctor said that Julia would not be able to carry her firstborn for more than six months. A six months baby will not survive.’ The girls cried out.
‘No, the baby will survive no matter how much time it’s carried in the womb.’ Mike said firmly.
‘But, what about your second child, it will surely die because the doctor said that Julia won’t be able to carry him for more than five months!’ The girls insisted.
‘No, the baby will not die. It will live.’ Mike opposed.
‘But, you just imagine what a psychological trauma it will be for Julia if she knows that her six months baby suffers?’ Inna argued.
‘It will not suffer, I will suffer instead of my child and it will live.’ Mike said.
‘Then, if she is a queen, she should have a foster-mother for her child, that the foster-mother should feed Julia’s baby with her breast. You should assure for it.’ Inna required while Tina backed her.
‘Yes, I will.’ Mike promised…
‘But, why you do not want to die for our sins as Jesus Christ did? Die for our sins and we will be honest widows and able to marry whom we like. Or else, the other boys should die for you to be able to marry us?’ The girls tempted.
‘The boys are of no concern here. You just do not seduce them and they will not die.’ Mike answered…
Michael went by the asphalt lane when he saw several boys to sit on the porch of the drugstore. Mike knew that again they would tease him, and maybe even try to beat. He did not have the knife. That is why he could rely only on his fists. A boy approached him by the support of the whole hang. He surely intended to strike Michael. But, Michael struck first and the boy fell on the ground. The whole hang laughed.
‘Do not be afraid, we will not beat you. We do not beat the heroes. There’s just an offer for you. Let’s exchange the loins. My loins for your loins, then I’ll be also able to have the kids. That’s a handshake?’ The leader of the gang asked.
‘But, they are just from the hell, the kids, and it will be necessary to suffer for their sins for them to be born.’ Mike commented.
‘Ok, you can fuck the girls,’ the leader said after a minute of evaluating of the statement. ‘But, do not do it too often for us not to be in too much of offence when we’ll feed your children. Still, you should know that if you hurt them in any way, you’ll have to talk with us. So, take care…’
It was a sunny autumn day when the men from the gray building arrived to the school for Mike. They took him into the car and brought into the sword and shield coat of arms building. They were more serious than the last time a pair of the years ago when they had taken him from the kindergarten. They showed to Mike to sit down on the chair.
‘So, Mike, we need to talk to you and say we are sorry. You know the men that spoke to you last time had problems and we will not repeat their mistakes…We are ready to help you… But, you should help us…Thus, you said that the girls will be the mothers of your children and get the antibodies this way. But what about the boys? We cannot vaccinate them as it was with the girls. So, how they’ll get the antibodies? Will you allow for the boys to kiss the girls?’ The man asked.
‘Yea, if they are a brother and a sister. That’s Ok.’ Mike said.
‘We all are brothers and sisters in a kind of a way. But, what if the boys have sex with the girls with condoms?’ The man asked seriously.
‘That will not help because then the antibodies of the girls might be imbibed by the skin of the boys and in such a case even the kiss would be contagious.’ Mike said.
The man kept some silence then said, ‘We regret very much about that story with that wicked boy who wanted that your girls should have been kept in a prison… You know, it is like with the cosmonauts, he should have been your double if necessary…Do you forgive him and us?’
‘Yea, I forgive him and you. And, I will pray for him. You just put him into the same madhouse as I’ll be in and I will pray for him that he should be healed.’ Mike said.
‘Ok, you are a good boy, Michael,’ the man said after a while. ‘But, what we should do not to let your girls to…I mean the boys to defile your girls. What measures you offer?’ The man put the question.
‘No measures are necessary. That’s the instinct. Nobody wants to die.’ Mike replied…
‘But, it is your dad who was a fornicator. You ate those pills that they should not make your dad to eat them up. Nobody asked you to eat them. When we met you in the hostel you had already eaten those pills. Nobody asked you to do it. You just provoked us. Yes, we asked but because you provoked us. You simply pay for the debts of your good daddy. You are an inheritor. You simply pay the debts, we owe you nothing. You better do not say that we owe you anything.’ Inna hollered…
‘I will not take you to be my wives, I’ll take the virgins, younger than I will be myself. And…’ Mike said before being interrupted.
‘Ha-ha-ha, who will need such a crazy fool to be a husband. The younger girls, the virgins! But, who will need you, an invalid?’ Tina and Inna derided.
‘Even, if I take you, you the harlots, I will make you to be my concubines. You will be my maidservants. I will order to you and you will do most dirty job in my house. You and your Jane the harlot. But, you will beseech me to take you into my harem, you harlots. I would have died if you were not such harlots. I wanted to die, but now I decided I will live to see how you will all rot along with your beloved ones…’ Mike had time to say before the stones began to fly upon him, thrown by the pair of girls mad of the wrath…
The man in the gray building with the sword and shield coat of arms beside the door was very angry with Mike. He hardly coped with his anger. Mike knew it was a token that his game was played well enough.
‘You know, it’s a costly pleasure for you to have eaten those pills. It was special pills that cost a lot of money. They have nothing to do with the kids. Your stupid daddy believed such trash. They were intended to prepare the universal vaccine for the soldiers. It was for the army. You just have an idea how much those pills cost? Millions of dollars. More than millions of dollars. And, what you will order us to do now?’ The fat angry man asked.
‘You can make some other pills like this and give to somebody else, but not to my father. I will return you all our family owes to the State.’ Mike proposed.
‘Yea, to make more pills like this? Again to catch a lot of guys from Italy, Spain and like. From each state of the USA for the soldiers to have the local immunity? You understand too much, guy. You are too clever I see. Those pills were unique and you think such pills just lie over on the streets?’ Here he silenced himself interrogatively.
‘So many soldiers and such a small box of pills?’ Mike asked to show his doubt and defiance.
‘You better do not show your wits, you better leave your wits for the schoolgirls. I say to you clearly. If you disappoint us you will regret it very much. Very much…You may go away.’ The fat angry man ended the conversation…
‘So, Mike, there is a proposal to you.’ The serious man in the civil suit said. ‘You should help us to settle the scores with the capitalists. They sniffed about our business and are pretty angry that we kidnapped their citizens for our special purposes. You should help us… The capitalist said like we have to share the results of the whole affair with them. That’s for the civil purposes. To somehow indemnify for their losses. They could make a lot of noise because of all that. So, there was a bargain. Do you want to collaborate with us?’ The serious man asked.
‘Yea, I’m ready to collaborate.’ Mike said.
‘There will be a group of tourists, some Christians, you should take a good girl with a good southern metabolism and lead her into the hospital for her to be vaccinated with your blood. And, we need more blood of yours. So, what for the promised blood spill?’ The serious man asked.
‘Yea, I’ll provoke them for a fight and I’ll leave enough blood.’ Mike agreed.
‘You simply do not endeavor too much. We’ll still need you alive. So, promise to be careful.’ The man said.
‘Yea, I promise. When I’ll feel it’s enough, I’ll stop provoking them.’ Mike said.
‘You know why we need your blood that way?’ The man demanded.
‘It’s a kind of the blood revenge?’ Mike asked.
The men in the office room laughed.
‘No, your hormones and adrenaline should be spent for the vaccine not to have the side effects. You, know that’s the export sort of the vaccine, they capitalists need the quality.’ The man said with a sly smile.
‘Yea, that’s Ok. You can rely on me.’ Mike spoke to the men in the civil coats…
‘You, Mike, why you do not want to marry my daughter Julia. She will keep herself a virgin for you. She’ll study well and be a good wife. So you agree?’ Julia’s mom asked.
‘The case is that I promised to them to marry their girlfriend Julia.’ Mike replied.
‘You think they’ll offer a harem for you, Mike? But, they do cheat you. Do not play a fool.’ The woman sternly told.
‘But, it’s because I got poisoned in my childhood and will go crazy that my own kids should not be sick. I’ll accept to be the husband of your daughter but only if she’ll wait for me to get over it and become healthy again. Would she wait for me to be my wife?’ Mike asked.
The blond girl kept silence for some time and then turned her head from left to right and vice versa to show she was negative to that proposal…
Mike sat in the treatment room of the hospital. He was just four years old and a full syringe each morning and evening from his vein was what he could give to help the girls.
‘You are a kind of donor, Mike. You give your blood each day. Whom it’s for?’ The nurse asked meaningfully.
‘That’s for the sick girls that they were healed.’ Mike said.
‘But, are you not sorry that you will help those girls because you love them and the other boys will marry them?’ The other nurse asked.
‘No, but it should be my children that those girls will give birth to when they are adult. Otherwise, their will be a conflict of antibodies and it may be even worse for the kids than without the vaccination.’ The small boy commented by what he knew.
‘Ok, sultan, but do not tell to your mom about all that. My heart would not be able to bear it if it happened with my son.’ The woman said…
‘Now, Mike, the last question… Why that boy could not cope with the microbes. You know his own dad was also a military adviser with a good immunity. Why he lost?’ The serious man in the civil coat asked.
‘He did not have the stimulus. That all the girls should have belonged to him undefiled. He wanted to share it with the soldiers. That’s why he lost.’ Mike answered.
The tears appeared on the eyes of the man that was serious and he said, ‘Ok, Mike, I hope my own daughter will have the kids.’
‘Yea, sir, do not doubt, she’ll have the kids. Surely she’ll have.’ Mike promised.

The illusion

Mike went by the asphalt lane that led from the trade center of the city he lived in to his home that was a flat in the five-storied building. Very often something bad waited for him on that way, and he felt that that day also it was something that lurked ahead. He decided to walk slowly to somehow take his time and live in peace a little more before something bad he felt on his way should happen. When he came up to the porch of the drugstore a woman called for him. She sat on the concrete steps because it was the summer and the weather was hot. Mike went up the steps and now stood before her.
‘The boy, show me your hand.’ She proposed.
Mike gave her his hand. She turned it up to look upon the palm of his hand.
‘Oh, I see your fate, your future. You will probably have a harem and many children. I see it by the lines on the palm of your hand.’ She said.
Mike recalled what the girls told about the fortuneteller, like she was the spiritual mother of Tina. But, Mike could clearly see that the woman surely was the true mother of Tina, so much she looked like her, by the features, body type and temper.
‘You are the spiritual mother of Tina?’ Mike asked.
The woman was in a loss for a few seconds then said. ‘Yea, I’m her spiritual mother. Do you want to be the husband of these girls, of Tina, Jane, Inna and Julia? Do you want that they were the mothers of your children?’
‘But, they do not want to wait for me and want to sleep with other boys. I just made a vow that I will not marry till a certain age and they do not want to wait for me.’ Mike said.
‘But, Mike, it’s not necessary to sleep with all of them. They can infect you because they are sick. So, you will have the kids of them without it.’ The woman said.
‘But, how that’s possible. If I do not sleep with them they will not have the possibility to be fertilized by my sperm.’ Mike said by what he knew from the scientific books. ‘How I will fertilize them if I do not sleep with them and they live with the other boys?’
‘You do not think about the other boys, they will be just friends and help them on. You will be the father of their children, Michael, all the same. And, your kids will be born even before you marry all of them.’ The woman said.
‘But, how that’s possible if I do not sleep with all them?’ Mike asked again.
‘You know, Michael, I also was sick and it would have been hard for me to bear a child. But, I have a daughter of my own. I have born her of a man I loved though I did not have the intimacy with him. But the woman did sleep with him and I had love with her and got pregnant.’ She told.
Mike knew she spoke about Tina her daughter.
‘But, how it is all done without a man?’ Mike demanded.
‘The case is that when a woman has the intimacy with another woman she also has the orgasm. Do you know what an orgasm is?’ She asked.
‘Yea.’ Mike replied. ‘It’s when the male has the seed to appear from his dick.’
‘But, the women, Michael also have a kind of…It’s like the sperm but it’s from her womb when she has an orgasm and if she had an intimacy with a man before she can fertilize the other woman by her…By this liquid that appears from her womb.’ The woman said.
‘It’s because the spermatozoids live in the womb of the female after the intimacy with the male?’ Mike ventured his guess from what he knew about the life of his grand-granddad Nick.
‘Yea, that’s it, Mike. You do not think that they’d betray you with the other boys.’ She said.
Mike pondered on all it for some time, then said. ‘You ma’am, do not worry. I will do all it the way it’s necessary to do. I would marry all of them right away. I simply will be sick because I ate those pills in my childhood. And, I do not want that them girls should be near me when I’ll be sick. I would gladly marry all of them right away but I have to forbear of the intimacy with the women very long and even if I’ll go crazy. Simply, it’s necessary that my children should not be sick.’
‘You, Mike, you do not even imagine how I worry for you all, especially for Tina, she’s very important for me. You, Mike, you just do not imagine how hard is it on my heart because of those girls. They are the same as me.’ She wept out.
‘You ma’am, you do not worry. I will not die and it will be Ok with them all. I thought of my future and I will not die. I see my future even after that darkness you told to the girls you saw when I’ll be about twenty one. You do not think I’ll die. I see my future and I speak with myself in the future when I’ll be adult and all’s over. I will live and my children will not die, those that the girls will bear. You ma’am, do not worry about it.’ Mike assured.
She stopped weeping and said. ‘You, Mike, you just tell to yourself in the future, when you will be adult that you should talk to me and showed what it is like with you, Tina and all other girls.’
‘Ok.’ Mike said. ‘But, you will hear my voice and see the visions. It’s because I already survived through all it, as though all is already over. I know that I will survive and get over it and all will be well.’
‘You promise me, Michael, that you will love Tina.’ She requested.
‘Yea, she will be my first love when I’ll study in the university.’ Mike promised.
‘You, Mike, should know that they’ll all make you jealous flirting with the other boys, but that’s only because they love you. You don’t believe them.’ She advised.
‘Yea, I’ll try.’ Mike said…
‘And, you should protect her honor even if all say that she’s a harlot. You should protect her honor no matter what they’ll all say about Julia. And, you should be delicate.’ Inna required holding Mike by the neckband of his shirt…
‘And, you should study the French and English and also Italian for your beloved Benedicta. And, you should study well to be a good interpreter. You hear what we say?’ Inna inquired.
Mike being too much offended of all that he had heard from the girls pronounced. ‘I will come to Moscow as fast as I am sound. And, I’ll make a career…’
‘Ha, oh, oh, oh, somebody has prepared a harem in Moscow for you. Moscow just waits for you to come. They’ll meet you with flowers and an orchestra. Mickey has arrived to Moscow. All the Moscow will run to see on our Mickey. But, you will not get out. We’ll all turn you around the finger, all us, Tina, I, Jane and Julia. But, we’ll weave the ropes of you.’ Inna affirmed…
Mike went to the trade center of the city and near the drugstore he saw the girls to appear from behind the corner of the building. It was Julia and some other girls. They approached him. Julia went up to him first.
‘We’ll you take me into your harem after Alex?’ she asked with much personal interest.
‘I don’t want to take you after somebody else.’ Mike said.
‘But, Alex, he just cannot have the kids. I will not give myself to him. And, why we have to part after the three years. Maybe, you’ll change your mind? I will not give myself to anybody but to you.’ Julia said.
‘Yea, but I promised to write a book about all my life and the people who helped me. And, I should be alone when I’ll write it because it will be hard. I do not want that somebody was with me at that time.’ Mike answered.
‘Is it the truth that you ate the special pills that my children did not die?’ Julia asked and her girlfriends ran closer to listen what Mike would say.
‘Yes, and they promised to me that they’d take care of all that.’ Mike replied.
‘We will all pray for you. And, is it the truth that you speak with yourself in the future as Tina’s spiritual mom said?’ Julia inquired.
‘Yea, I will survive only it will be hard.’ Mike said…
The serious man in the civil suit said to Mike. ‘You, Mike, do be not afraid that the girls might have betrayed you. We hypnotized some of them and they told honestly that they’d be faithful to you. So, you do not worry, just do take pills and go under the medical treatment the doctors will prescribe to you…What do you want else, Mike? The money?’
‘No…Well, you all helped me so much and helped those girls. And…’ Mike only could pronounce.
‘What you are afraid of? We’d pay you the money and ask the bourgeoisie to pay in currency?’ The serious man proposed.
‘But…If you pay me the money I can get spoiled by it, and…And, then not to get through all it myself. Then, my kids could be obliged to pay for my debts. And, they might give them the pills instead of me. So, you better help me. And, I don’t get the money for it. I’ll earn the money myself. To prove that I am a good father and able to provide for my kids.’ Mike answered.
‘So, you are not a hireling?’ The serious man demanded.
‘No, I’m a volunteer. Like, it was on the front during the war.’ The boy said.
‘No, Mike, you do not think about the army. We won’t let you go to the war. Only provoke your disease and take the pills and shots, and infusions.’ The man said…
Mike went along that asphalt lane through that place where most of the girls lived. He was already becoming an adult though was just thirteen. He began to forget about all his childhood getting the ripe interests as it seemed to him. He still remembered Jack who at the moment of truth refused to be the father of Julia’s first child and promised to take care of her. But…Here Mike stopped. It was hard for him either way. To know that his girls would be undefiled before known by him, though bearing him the kids even before being known by him the way that woman had told to him. And, to think it the other way, that all the girls would be defiled and harlots. At that moment he did not know the truth anymore. Suddenly, he clearly understood that he was just cheated. That he should suffer for the fun the other boys would have; that all the girls would cheat him and he was needed only to take the curse on him. That he was no hero, that there was no special program for him prepared by those men from the intelligence office. That they had just cheated him involving him in all those events for their own private interests. That he was a fool and some events of his past did not happen at all, that it was the play of his imagination, of his sick mind. He caught the flue the same way as the other boys and it seemed to him that he had even worse immunity. And, all those lymph knots that were swollen in all his body. Maybe, it was AIDS? He felt cold…It was sure that they just wanted to poison him in his childhood because of all those troubles in their family and he just played the fool and all cracked him apiece and knew he lied and all that story was just the schizophrenia that progressed. He knew that all laughed on him. He was the talk of the town…Yea, his dad had lied to him about all it. It had been ordinary pills and it is not even sure that he had eaten them up. Yea, they had just wanted to poison him, he had just thought of that story to somehow justify his life now full of shame and opprobrium that loomed ahead. They just pitied him and accompanied him in his stupid play. Especially, those men from the intelligence office. He was a sick fool…Or else, it was true that they used his foolishness and made that vaccine from his blood, and he will be sick to help the other boys to fuck the girls he loved and suffered for? Suddenly, all was clear. It was so. The other boys will have fun and laugh upon him. This thought caused him a strong pain…What he could do? There was no way back. Only to go forward no matter what waited ahead. Was anybody guilty of what happened to him? He surely was a fool, a tale of the town. All the same all those sick children would die…Or they would not die? It was painful and offending for him to know that he had made all it for the profit of the other men. He had played the comedy for those unfaithful girls to fuck around. Still, something was in his heart that made him worried about his conclusions, something that might make his thoughts void of sense. Anyway, he promised and there was no way for him but that which he should go on.

Opposition man

Mike sat on the border of an asphalt road near a condominium building. A young man approached him.
‘You, son of a bitch, you think we will let the girls to be offended. You should know that the times of your KGB are over. We will not allow them to cause harm to the girls.’ The young man said.
‘You go your way and do not interfere into the business that is not your own,’ Mike calmly said.
The man kicked Mike with much force, ‘What you had said, bitch?’
‘Go away, you bitch yourself,’ Mike said.
The young man hit Mike upon the head. After some more insults and threats he went away. Mike knew why the young man said that way. He wanted to marry a young woman that had been vaccinated with Mike’s blood. It was a common sense idea that he should divorce her afterwards for the woman to have a chance to bear a baby from Mike for her to have the immunity and not to die young. Mike knew why the man acted that way. He wanted to marry the young woman with which Mike already arranged that he would take her into his harem after he had the immunity. She said that she would marry a man and persuade him to divorce her later after she would bear him a son. Mike was already in that stage of his personal views on the events of his life that he was not jealous because the girls whose parents he had paid with the good jobs and good flats from the State chose to be with the other boys. He knew the last would pay with their health and some with their lives maybe. But, the older women that had been vaccinated were even more contagious than the small girls were because they had less time to produce the immunity before the sexual relations. That is why he first pitied that the woman would not have a chance with him but then he understood what motives drove that young man to quarrel with him. As Mike had said the man would need to forbear of sex after the divorce if he did not forbear before the marriage not to be contagious for the rest of the society. But, now he saw that the man sought a sure death putting himself into the opposition to the KGB. He did not want to suffer and survive but to die and not to have pain. Mike knew that the State would sponsor that marriage for the first baby. The young man knew it also. That is why he was attracted to that young woman. Though she was beautiful, of course. Mike did not doubt that the KGB would dispose of that man if his choice was not to fast and acquire the immunity after the divorce. Mike got afraid that the society could accuse him of what Israel accused David. Mike was afraid that they could tell that he used the power to dispose of the husband of a married woman he wanted to take into his harem. Mike got real apprehensive.
When he was in the KGB with a report of what was going on in his life the officer asked, ‘What’s happened over there with that guy and you?’
‘It happened because he does not want to divorce with that woman afterwards and leave her to me. He does not want to forbear maybe.’ Mike explained.
‘So, what he wants. He wants to infect the people and his wife?’ the officer asked.
Mike kept silence.
‘So, we’ll make him die and you take his wife, Ok?’ the officer put the question.
‘But, they can accuse me like David that I take avail of the State to solve my own problems,’ Mike expressed his fears.
‘But, what David did? Whether you did not make for your country more than David did for his own? What he did your David?’ The officer asked.
‘He killed Goliath when he was a young man,’ Mike simply responded.
‘But whether he did kill ten armed bandits with a razor blade in the age when they visit the kindergarten?’ the officer asked again.
‘It’s a kind of opposition to the State for that man to tell he is against the point that I have the harem…’ Mike said before he was interrupted by the officer.
‘Maybe, you became a liberal and also do not want to forbear and fast not to end properly what you have begun. You’ve involved too many people in all it. That’s a whole program with a budget. Today you refuse to marry that woman because somebody does not want to divorce her. Tomorrow you say you do not want to marry the other one. Maybe you just cheated us all that time and wanted to infect the girls and other people and now you maybe say you also do not want to forbear and fast. Whether you do not know what happens to those who do not want to play according to the rules. You also turned sentimental as you said about the other one? There’s the only end for the sentimental people. It’s the tomb. Maybe you want to put all us into a predicament?’ The officer asked very seriously.
‘I’m sorry,’ Mike said and swallowed because of fear, ‘it won’t repeat.’
‘Ok, that’s better. You may be free.’ The officer brought the discussion to a conclusion.
Mike went out of the office room. He recalled how several years ago he had persuaded the KGB not to interfere into his relations with the elder brother Nick and cousins after they had belabored him because he had said he had eaten the pills and would have a harem. He had said he had cursed them and it had been enough. But now he was afraid that those curses might be made effectual through the services of KGB. Surely, his brother and cousins had got into the business that had not been their own. The State had a too strong interest in what had happened with Mike to share its jurisdiction with the private persons. The KGB was not a shop where you could buy what you like. It had a very strict number of services it might offer and they wanted not to stay in debt before Mike.


Patriotic Party

Michael always thought on how his children would live. He put much value on their well being because they were very precious for him taking into account that he would fast and suffer to give birth to them from the girls that were sick. He not only wanted that they were healthy but also happy. But, they said that the oil and gas would run out and a hunger would follow. Mike felt it would be wrong if he let his children to famine and civil war. So, he needed to solve the problem of food and energy for the future generations. The solution came easily. To avoid a collapse of an abrupt ending of oil and gas it was necessary to make trucks and tractors work on coal. It was easy, they said that in the former days there had been the trucks, which worked on wood. By the same principle, it was necessary to make more modern the already existing tractors and trucks. A big cylinder made from special good quality steel should be put on the tractor or truck and filled with coal powder. A spiral made of the same material as was used in the electric bulb spiral should be heated to red by the electric currant produced by accumulator or generator when on the go. The starter would pump out the air from the cylinder after the coal powder is poured into the cylinder not to burn the spiral by a contact with the oxygen. The red hot spiral should burn the coal powder to produce the gas of the carbon not totally burned in oxygen that would still be present in the cylinder in small quantity. The gas would be burnt totally in the engine to make the tractor or truck move. It was already good. However, the coal would end up also one day. That is why it was necessary to breed the cattle, that is to make cows, bulls and horses to be more numerate to conserve the natural resources for the future generations. The more so, even if the oil and gas did not run out abruptly, then the prices on this natural resources would grow up to make more profit on the national wealth. In such a case, the products would cost more and more each year. So, the wheat, rye, barley, oat, beet-root, potato and raisin would grow in price not to allow an easy breading of the cattle. Where get the economy? The answer was also an easy one. It was necessary to make people drink less wine and vodka. The economy for the breeding of the cattle and personal food basket would be huge. But, what to substitute the wine and vodka with? The answer was also simple. It was to buy cheat coca leaves to produce the beverages like had been in use in the time of the Dry Law in USA. Mike was sure that the secret recipe of the Coca-Cola still contained the coca to the time present. Not to invent the bicycle, it was necessary to buy the recipe and technology from USA. Of course, the Russian should first get a cultural and biological immunity against such a beverage. So, first it would be necessary to distribute the beverage by the drugstores under control of the doctors. And, not to allow getting the raw product into the hands of the drug dealers, to avoid the production of cocaine, the strong drug aimed to kill. While, the beverages from coca would be just stimulating and relaxing to have an effect similar to that of wine or vodka. When a man drinks vodka most of it gets out through the ventilation of lungs as the vapor. If such one had made the injections of the pure spirit into his veins by a syringe, the effect would be the same as of cocaine or heroine. The more so, the people drank the tea, but not always strong one like they do always in Russian jails to get inebriated, however the ordinary people had the possibility each day. And, that’s an axiom that from the drugs died only those who had no chances in life because of sicknesses and are ready to die in a beautiful way.
As to himself, Mike wanted to buy the cut and dry coca leaves in Columbia to produce a packed beverage like tea, to sell it in packets. It would be stimulating and relaxing, still not a drug, because Indians in Columbia ate the leaves every day and lived well on account all depends on concentration. It would not need much investment. So, Mike would build such a factory in his own town.
The beverages produced of coca should cost much first to avoid the over-consummation. The price would be a sum of average profit and huge tax part to be used for the State budget. The State should possess more than fifty percents of shares in the stock capital of the company.
As to opium and its artificial chemical substitutes (drugs and medicines made of it), the people would consummate it more naturally without any economy because it would be a way to solve the problems with depression and stress. The opium was better because it was a natural product and would entail less dependency than chemical synthetic drugs used in medicine in the present time. Of course, in such business the State should control all. However, a private investment and possession of special drugstores of retail selling by businessmen was quite possible. The economical positive side effect would be that the producers would sow even more poppy to collect the seeds for the food. Thus, the production of opium would subsidize the production of poppy-seeds.
As to the ganja, it should be used as a cheap antidepressant under the control of the doctors. The plantations should be protected and the ganja grass in the other places exterminated that the adolescents had no access to it, in which the ganja plantations owners would be economically interested. Of course, the ganja Mafia should legitimize (not legalize) their business. That their business should bring the profit to the society and State in the new conditions and not to be authorized in the present form. The revenue from that business would subsidize the production of ropes and oil from the hemp.
With such a doctrine all would be glad. The oil and gas oligarchs, because the oil and gas would grow in price and they would get the same profit with an insurance of future revenue on condition of the decrease of the offer on the market. The coal mine possessors, on account that the coal would be used for new type of tractors and trucks on coal powder to keep the prices and consumption. The peasantry, owing they would insure their future and less dependency having a possibility to bring the cattle to plough the land and transport, also selling the meat instead of cereals and receiving dotations. The possessors of alcohol production factories, due they would receive a cheaper raw product for the inebriating beverages from coca. The drug traffic barons, because they would legitimize their business becoming the possessors of special retail drugstores of opium medicines and buying the shares in dry cut coca packets production. The bureaucrats because they would get taxes for their salaries and budget. The construction companies, to receive the investment and cheaper gasoline. The housewives, due in the long term the coca and opium would cost less than wine and vodka when the producers of raw product would take their profits on large scale. The politicians, in that the Russia would strengthen the influence in Afghanistan where the State would also control the growing of opium and Columbia with the same effect as to coca.
However, that would not be enough, in that a whore wanted to die of the heroine or cocaine just because she could not bear the babies and nobody wanted to marry her. So, it would be necessary to change the moral standards when a boy should become not a whoremonger if he wanted to help a sick girl but a husband through the taking of curse by vaccines, believe in God, witchcraft or any other way of making girls happy. Finally, that would be to bear more healthy babies. Mike was to show an example in that.
Thus, the criminal trade should get three mighty blows. First, the State got the drug traffic under control. Second, a sportsman or just strong and honest boy would dream of a retail drugstore with a company of partners, not a band, who would have robbed and killed in the other case. Third, the girls would have a perspective to become a mother in polygamy instead of going to the whore trade.
It was only natural that all the criminals that did not agree with the program and wanted to continue to rob and kill, should be punished, including the physical extermination when the police would get the right to execute the special operations on drug traffic like the intelligence office to catch those criminals.

Invention

The room of the KGB office was dark, only the electric lamp lit it. Mike explained his idea to the officers. His idea was to make the new rockets that would feel the other rockets and destroy them or elude. The main principle was that any metal passed by the magnet would produce the back induction current in its body. And, because the earth was a big magnet any rocket or aircraft produces the electric-magnetic current in its body, it creates the electric-magnetic anomaly in the magnetic field of the earth. Then, Mike told how to make the mechanisms that would make the rocket feel that anomaly and they made those mechanisms that illustrated that principle. Those mechanisms first helped the rocket to feel another rocket, then they put the rockets based on the infra-red rays off the target. Mike signed a paper he would keep it a secret. He put some scribble due he did not know how to write as yet being a small boy.
After several years, the officer that always communicated with Mike on the behalf of the State allowed Mike to write about the new principles of the rockets in his book. It was because they explained those principles to the Soviet scientists and they could not make anything like the mechanisms Mike invented.
‘Scare those American that they should give us the good prices for the oil. If our scientists could not invent what you invented for more than five years the American would not invent also.’ The officer said.
Mike knew that to invent such mechanisms was not very hard for the boy who wanted to survive and feed his family. But, he decided not to invent more because he knew that the overburdening he passed through already would be added the pains when he would fast of sex to pay for the new knowledge. He also knew that he would not remember all his inventions when he would be adult, he would only know he invented such stuff and he would recall the basic principles. He would not have much to tell to the American owing to the Russian would have a very big advance in the time, and he did not want to remember because he did not want to be a traitor. And, really Mike wanted to be a politician not to allow some dictator to use this weaponry against the West. He also knew that it was necessary to make business on it. The American should have surest guarantees that the weaponry would not be used to cause much damage. On the contrary, the secrets would have been sold to the Westerners by some Russian humanist scientist. Or else, the American would have strained their brains and invent the same rockets. But, the first was more probable. That is why it was decided to keep all the inventions secret until Mike would be the president of Russia if he was capable to come through his illness and be deft enough. It was because the new rockets were very cheap and fast in production.
Mike knew that they already sold the new principles to USA. It was to make the policy and put them afraid. Mike was also afraid that it could be the same as with the atomic bomb and the American could buy some spies to know all the new mechanisms. So, there should be a guarantee that no Russian atomic bomb would fall on any city of the Europe and USA. But, Mike knew that it was necessary to provoke the American to make their own volley of the ballistic rockets. Surely, the American would not send their rockets across the Northern Pole, as was the main principle in their present warfare doctrine, on account the rockets would create a big electric-magnetic anomaly moving along the axis connecting the magnetic poles of the earth like a metal moving along the magnet. He knew that they would send the American rockets to make the main blow from the East because it would make a lesser anomaly to be detected, while the rockets would move along the latitudes like the metal across the magnet. It was shorter and less dangerous then across the Europe or otherwise because the destroyed rockets would fall into the ocean. Still, there would be enough anomaly for all the rockets to be destroyed no matter what direction they flew from. The American would believe that the Russian bluff due their own analogues based on the new principle and much electronics would not show the good results. The American would believe in their own anti-missile defense system.
Why Mike needed all that? He knew that the only way for the humanity to be saved from AIDS and other sicknesses that would become more dangerous because of AIDS was to go through the influence of the radiation on the common basis. The above-mentioned scenario of the nuclear war would assure for it when the radioactive materials would be dissolved in the air and in the water.
But, the AIDS of the different kinds resulted from the modern medical practice when the vaccinations were made through the blood of the monkeys and other animals. It was the mistake because the percents were always higher than the first profit. So, the main role of Mike would be to show by his own example that to save the humanity it was necessary to fast, acquire the immunity against AIDS and marry as much women as possible if the other human males chose to die.


Mafia

Mike sat in the room for the medical procedures of the hospital in his hometown Shushenskoe. A nurse prepared a syringe to take Mike’s blood.
‘Mike, will you not be sorry if your blood is used for the girls from the Mafia?’ she asked. ‘Some of them are really beautiful.’
‘But, the Mafia is in Italy. How will you give them my blood?’ asked Mike. Though, he was four years old he knew the Mafia existed only on Sicily.
‘I mean the daughters of the thieves-in-law.’ The nurse said.
‘But whether they are sick all?’ Mike demanded in surprise.
‘No, they are not sick. But, they have to communicate with sick harlots, drug addicted persons, those who are sick. And, sometimes, they have to meet their husbands and fathers from the jail where’s a lot of microbes.’ The nurse explained.
‘I don’t know,’ Mike said. ‘Will they agree to marry me, at least some of them?’
‘But, there’re a lot of boys in the Mafia who’ll want to marry them. It’s hard to marry a girl from the Mafia.’ She expressed her doubts.
Mike felt a pity because the nurse said he could not get what he suffered for…
The Italian doctor from the Sicilian Mafia stood vis-a-vis to Mike. Mike already understood that the play with the microbes and blood was a risky one. He did not know how much of vaccinations they could make with a syringe of his blood. He was apprehensive for the effects. Still, he was afraid to refuse to give the blood because he knew they could revenge him such a refusal. He knew why the doctor came for his blood. It was because the girls that had been vaccinated with his blood felt much better. To one of them, the sight and hearing was returned. Mike knew why the Mafia wanted his blood. It was because they needed the immunity especially. They contacted with the whores if they were the whoremongers. And, most of the harlots were sick. That is why those women came to the street to sell themselves. They needed not only the money but also the immunity. What any harlot dreams of and hopes for is that a man would forbear of the sex so long that the fear to be infected and the disappearing of the thrift in the respect of money would drive them to the street to buy a whore. But, what they really received was quite different. Those came to buy their services who were sick. The reciprocal contamination resulted. That is why, the harlots chose the cocaine and heroine. The drug was necessary to kill the sickness as a medicine and allow for a sweet death. All the society accepted it the way it was no matter what they said in their hypocrisy. The same was for the rest of the people who used the drugs for the amusement. The healthy ones who had the chances in the life never used this way to a beautiful death. Only those chose it who knew from their childhood they were infected and could die in even more pain than the life of a drug-addicted person should offer. It was a sure way for the humankind to struggle with the infectious sicknesses. So, to be a whoremonger the man should expose himself to the microbes of any kinds. The same is actual for a drug dealer. The drugs were sold only to the sick human beings. Only so the drug traffic is justified for the society. That is the other source of the infections for the Mafia. What was for the racket? To beat the debtors is to spill the blood. The blood is always full of microbes that are always under mutation. So, to be a racketeer is necessary to have good antibodies. The same was for the killing on the hire. To kill is to spill the blood even more, to expose oneself under the microbes. And, it is not a secret that only those who are deadly sick seek for an easy and quick death, committing the acts that are not according to the sensible principles of the human existence. That is the syndrome of a victim. So, the humanity, not able to come under the regulation of the natural predators (wolves, bears) like the rest of the animal world the part of which it is, looks for the self-regulation of the Mafia and State. That is all under the rule of the intuition. People are afraid and kill those who can contaminate them if they are not put to death and their sicknesses develop. Thus, the killing on the hire needs even better immunity. So, what Mike was now offered by the Sicilian doctor to make was to grant a subsidy for the Mafia trade. Mike knew he suffered and would suffer for it. Still, he could not refuse such an offer. He wanted to stay in the framework of the decency and good feelings before they might have pushed on him.
‘It’s dangerous to use my blood,’ Mike said. He knew he was going to balance on the border of the care and thrift. ‘I can only guarantee the good result only if you vaccinate only so many girls as I can take as my wives. I mean those that would have been the harlots otherwise. Those that are sick. And, to vaccinate the other ones is of no sense because that’s the credit that is to be returned. It’s Ok if they accept my antibodies for those that really need them. But, if the vaccinated girls do not bear me the children, at least some of them, then they’ll lose their health with the percents because their organism won’t be able to work out the antibodies. If a human being does live on the immunity of the other human being, it’s like taking the drugs. The dependent’s organism will not know how to produce the immunity on its own.’ Mike apprehended.
The doctor did not answer. He showed the doubt by his countenance like was the manner for the people from the Mafia to do. It was the doubt as to the honesty of the intentions of Mike. He showed it seemed to him that Mike wanted to bargain better. The scorn was about to show on his face. Mike hurried to be faster to explain more.
‘It’s bad to vaccinate the girls in the Mafia, the daughters of those who are in the Mafia,’ Mike said. ‘For example, most of the girls that have been vaccinated in our country want to be harlots in the future because they do not want to sacrifice for their own wellbeing. All they want is to play harlots to infect as many people as they may and need to make them boys produce the antibodies against the sicknesses they were infected by the vaccination. Because it’s impossible to have the antibodies and not to have the microbes. The antibodies are present in the blood because the organism fights with the sicknesses. That is why the State subsidize them by the money, good jobs and real estate. All the State needs is the slow way vaccination of the population against the war style sicknesses for the case of a bacteriological war and bio-terrorists or else if there’s an outbreak of any serious sickness.’ Mike could see the envy in the eyes of the Sicilian doctor. Mike knew the Mafia always needed the support of the society and State. Mike wanted to bring him back to the critical consciousness. Still, he knew the circumstances pushed on the Mafia for it to try to find a way to justify itself. ‘It’s bad to vaccinate the girls in Mafia because then they might have broken the discipline in the family, and could have disobeyed their fathers.’
‘No,’ the doctor negated. ‘The girls in the Mafia always know what the honor is.’
‘Then, the boys should have a good immunity to give birth to the children from the vaccinated girls,’ Mike pronounced.
‘Do not worry,’ the doctor said with a smile of pride, ‘the boys in the Mafia have a good immunity.’
‘Still, you should be precautious and make a weak vaccination. And, it would be necessary for the boys…’ Mike stopped. He knew there was a sort of catch 22. The girls in the Mafia could not be vaccinated except if they agreed to bear the kids to Mike because he wanted for fast of sex, suffer and achieve immunity in the future. Hardly, they would agree to give him the daughter of the gangsters in the harem. The doctor saw Mike was in a loss.
‘Do not worry, we will not vaccinate the girls only but also the boys,’ he said.
Mike felt hatred. He would suffer and go crazy for the boys from Mafia to have a better chance. Still, he coped with his anger.
‘Then it’s ok, if you vaccinate the sick boys only. Then, they would know it is necessary to forbear and to suffer for them to have the progeny because otherwise no girl would accept them as fathers owing to their hereditary sicknesses. In such a case they would fight with the microbes and produce antibodies on a regular basis. It seems to be sure.’ Mike said.
Mike could see the doctor was disappointed that Mike wanted to give a chance to the boys with the hereditary sicknesses.
‘Then, they could give birth to the freaks,’ the doctor said.
‘Still, the vaccinated boys should forbear of sex at least for half a year each, to eat the psychiatric medicines and produce the immunity. You should explain it to them. Then, any boy from Mafia would have a least a pair of wives and marry the girl from the Mafia and the girl that could be a harlot otherwise.’ Mike said sure that the Mafia would accept it.
‘You know, boy, they sent me to take your blood, I mean the Mafia bosses. If I don’t persuade you to give it, they’ll send another one and then it would be worse for me and you.’ The doctor explained. ‘The bosses would react bad once they hear you want for their sons to go crazy.’
Mike’s lower jaw came to the left as though he received a hard blow upon the head. He understood why they needed his blood. They wanted an easy ride. Mike’s own antibodies were just what attracted them to his blood. They wanted to live on the suffering of a martyr and their own baggage of health. He put himself on the place of those boys from the Mafia. Each of them would receive the credit of Mike’s antibodies and the microbes to work out the immunity but not on the sexual forbearance but their own health. They would have more women attracted by the antibodies they would produce. By the sexual relations those women would pay for their own better health as dependent on the Mafia boys. It would be harlots and other women. They would sell more drugs and kill more to provide for more money for more women. The lust was what drove them. It surely could be called valiancy because in such a way the Mafia boys sacrificed themselves for the girls. It was still honorable. But, Mike felt a weight on his soul. He knew it would be necessary for him to forbear and suffer more to marry some of the widows left after the Mafia boys to make the circle close up the right way and for the sicknesses not to get multiplied. He knew they traded with him for a sweet and easy death. He should subsidize them to die. He knew they would not stand against such a lust. He himself would not stand against it if he knew that he could not have suffered and live a colorful life till forty or fifty. He knew that then the society would break the omerta and give out all those Mafia boys to the State to be put to death because they would become dangerous for the rest of the people when the sicknesses would develop into ones able to cause a plague. So, the statement that the Mafia was immortal was just a myth. All Mafia needed to be ended with was a sacrifice. It was like in the chess and Mike was afraid that they could count him for a player, he knew he was more of a figure on the chessboard. Mike was under the strong influence of the circumstances. He was disappointed that the Mafia sons did not want to forbear and take some part of the burden off Mike’s soul. Mike rolled up the sleeve of his left arm…
A man from USA lowered on his knees. He asked that Mike prevented the nuclear war and gave his blood to the girls and boys in USA. He also said that he could not return without Mike’s blood. And, he wanted the wellbeing of his daughters to become a reality. Mike was already doubtful as to the usefulness of such a subsidy still he had nothing but to give his blood. At least some girls acquired the chance. He knew they would make the vaccination through the private clinics. The man promised that the vaccinated boys would be devout Christians…
They again invited Mike to the KGB office. Mike sat on the chair and the officer wrote something on the papers. The time passed and Mike knew more and more they were worried about something and he knew what. The officer raised his sight from the table and looked at Mike.
‘They say you sell your blood besides us?’ he demanded.
‘I did not sell it, I gave it for free to the people I could not refuse,’ Mike answered.
‘Why you did not tell it to us?’ the officer asked.
‘That’s senseless, I go on the streets in evenings,’ Mike smarted.
‘Whom do you sell it to besides us?’ the officer asked again.
‘I gave it to the Mafia and Jacuzzi,’ Mike said. No other part of the society could afford producing the vaccination on a private basis.
The officer smiled and moved aside on the chair to show he was glad, ‘You can give your blood to the Mafia.’
Mike knew why the officer was glad. It was not because he wanted to make friends with the Mafia. Though, it might be so in a part. He was glad because the program needed the vaccination. The Russian intelligence office already knew it was bad to vaccinate the boys because the boy whether had to suffer and forbear of sex or to die because they could not bear the children and receive the immunity through that. Even, the boys and men that would marry and live with the women vaccinated in the program (not only with Mike’s blood) would wind up killed by the intelligence office because they would live their health and life through cohabiting with the vaccinated women that would be subsidized by the State. Really, such people were the kamikazes. They would live and die that the rest could receive the weakened microbes and have the immunity. Most of the boys that would sleep with the vaccinated girls including those that Mike loved would be those with some kind of hindrances for the regular marriage (hereditary sicknesses and so on). They had little choice. They had to die and they were paid for it that the society had a sure source of vaccination by the sneezing, coughing and breathing. Mike also knew that the boys from the Mafia would not hide behind their number. The whole thing was individual. The Mafia offered to Mike something, but the State could offer more.
‘I have a request to you,’ Mike said.
‘What’s up?’ the man asked.
‘Some people threatened me with death,’ Mike informed.
‘Some hooligans?’ the officer asked.
‘No, the man from the clan of thieves-in-law,’ Mike told.
‘Why you are afraid of them, you killed some of them already,' the officer said with a smile.
‘I am not afraid. I’ll kill them on that appointment they said they prepared for me. They said they’d come on three cars to my home. They’d be about twenty. Among them good shooters. Even a man said that he would make his son to become the Olympic games champion in shooting to come and try to kill me. It’s because they want that my wives and daughters should have been the harlots and sleep with them all once they had killed me because my wives and daughters will have the immunity I would earn for them, the antibodies. They’d provoke me, I’ll shoot fast and kill the three guys with the pistols and one with the machinegun from the last car, then I’ll take the machinegun and kill the rest. I’ll spare only a pair of them just wounding them. I’ve already was better in the argument and what’s said will happen. And, that doctor from the Sicilian Mafia also asked me what if my daughters met with the boys from the Mafia. I do not like it.’ Mike told.
‘So, what you demand for?’ the officer asked.
‘I need that the court should understand it will be a self-defense. I don’t like that somebody would have influenced the judge on the part of the clan. I need that you looked after it. I need that the judge should acquit me from those deaths. It would be too much of the exposure if it were made by the president’s pardon. Simply, I had no choice they said they’d take away what I’ll earn so hard and try to dishonor my family. I wanted to help them but they returned the evil for the good.’ Mike said.
‘That’s an offer, but we will help you only if you give an example of the healing from AIDS like it was with the syphilis and hepatitis. Then, we would give you a back up and assure a pressure on those shooters.’ The officer proposed.
Mike was afraid of AIDS and knew it would be necessary to fast much more, but he had no choice, ‘Ok, that’s a deal,’ he said.
‘But, how to dispose of those guys from the Mafia once they become dangerous for the society? Will you help us?’ The officer asked.
It was a war and Mike did not declare it. They paid him the evil for his good. He was not guilty that the boys from the clan did not want to forbear of sex and have a polygamy family but to fornicate and let the microbes multiply. He had to make a choice. It was predestinated. The State offered the protection.
‘I’ll help you,’ Mike assured.
After a pause, the officer told, ‘We have a plan to collect all those thieves-in-law in a jail and maybe we’d pour into the ventilation system some powder.’ The officer had a sly smile on his face.
‘That’s bad. Everybody should have a chance. You cannot kill them all. Maybe some of them might have fasted to that time.’ Mike said.
‘But, we cannot risk. We have not a possibility to make so strict blood tests. How we could find out who fasted and who did not fast. When they hew the wood the chips flow.’ He concluded his speech with a Russian proverb.
Mike wanted to save those that could fast, he thought a bit and found an answer, ‘There’s a way how to make a choice and find among them those that have the immunity. You should pass them through a trial that will surely divide between those that fast and those that fornicate.’ The officer nodded. ‘Those guys would live in a certain point of their lives on the local immunity of the place where they live. That is necessary to bring them to another place in that respect, by geography of the people’s moving around. There they’d meet the other kind of the viruses and began to produce the immunity for that new place. That’s for every big town where the boys from the clan of the thieves-in-law and blatnojs have been vaccinated. Then, you have to collect all of them together in a big prison to make a trial if the boys fasted from sex to have the immunity for the starting kind of the viruses and bacteria. But, before of it, they’ll need moving to a nearby towns for a chance to acquire the immunity against the original sorts of the viruses and those that went through the mutation in other places. Then, according to the way those who are able to produce the immunity will adapt to the new sorts of viruses. You should move them on the map from town to town and from jail to jail. On the way, they will acquire the immunity contacting with the people that have been contaminated by the people from another geographic part of the clan of blatnojs. Thus, they would acquire the immunity because the criminals of any kind would contact with those that have been vaccinated in the other part of the clan. There will be a lot of the microbes of the relevant kind in the jails on the way, in the cells and in the bodies of the jailers and ordinary criminals. In such a way they would gradually acquire the immunity if there’s a chance for them in the case they fasted and will fast to produce the immunity. Only after such an acclimatization it is proper to mix them all up for the trial.’ Mike concluded his speech.
‘But, what if just to let them stay in the ordinary jails for the other prisoners to become ill and die?’ the officer ventured.
‘That’s bad,’ Mike said. ‘You will not be able to control the sickness when some people would go out of the jails after the term. The society may be caused a damage because of it.’
Mike knew that the boys from the clan that had been vaccinated had no chance. They would all be sold out by the people surrounding them because they first would be afraid for the sicknesses to develop and kill them also. So, even if they would not be put in the jail for a trial then the intelligence office would just issue the licenses for them to be killed by the ordinary criminals who seek for the vacancies in the criminal world.
‘Ok,’ the officer said, ‘And what you offer for the civil society as they call it to know we played an honest game according to the rules?’
‘Just to invite the experts from the independent scientific institutes to make an expertise to give a qualified statement there was no powder strewed. If you have it, the society will understand that the ordinary people would not die in such conditions but only those who have a kind of AIDS because they lived long on the dependency from the antibodies they did not produce. And, if there are somebody occasional they will not die, or else if the vaccinated boys began to fast they can live. Otherwise, their families and the whole community might have got infected with that modified kind of AIDS. I’ll even write in my book about that for them boys from the Mafia to have more chances to know the truth and begin to forbear from sex. To forbear from sex is not always late. Abraham began to fast when he was about seventy. I’ll give them one more warning and one more chance.’ Mike said.
‘Are you not afraid they will be angry with you?’ the officer said.
‘They will,’ Mike said, ‘but, it’s necessary to remind them.’
‘Ok, you can go,’ the officer said.
Mike got off the chair…
There was a cloudy day and Michael sat on the stone border of the flowerbed near the restaurant. He saw three Japanese boys to come up to him. Afterwards, Mike did not remember how he talked with them, but he explained himself clearly and understood what they said. They said they were Jacuzzi. Mike said that they were vaccinated with his blood and had to forbear. It should be the same as with Mike, who had eaten the pills made of the blood of the soldiers and had to forbear of sex not to die of a sort of AIDS and the sicknesses that had been present in those pills. But, the boys laughed that Mike wanted to go crazy for to have a harem. They said they would never do such a shameful thing.
‘Then, they’ll put you into the jail and you’ll die all the Jacuzzi!’ Mike said very loud and passionately disappointed again that they doubled the burden on his soul.
‘We won’t wait for it. We’ll make a hara-kiri each.’ The boys said and showed the way they would do it.
Mike was angry he was left alone vis-a-vis to the sicknesses to fast and suffer. The percents seemed to always grow and Mike was afraid for the pain he would experience in the future. Especially, he was angry that they all laughed (including Benedicta) that Mike rendered them services of the immunity from the resources of his body and would pay afterwards for what he already made for the healthy and sick as a benefactor. Mike always said he would forbear of sex and he felt how some kind of magnetism turned around his axis of body clockwise. It made him screw up like a bold, he felt the strain and pressure of the gravitation which made his DNA get stronger and more wound up and his immunity better. But, once he collected enough forces somebody would turn up who said Mike should give more credit and be able to collect more in the future because the others wanted to live beautifully and die in pleasure. Mike now understood what had happened to the Russian nobility before the socialist revolution. There had been almost the same as with the Mafia now. Mike wanted to be a revolutionist if the future gangsters were ready to die and leave widows and orphans. He wanted to make the drug trade legalize when the drugs would be used only in a very week concentration in beverages and pills prescribed by doctors. Then, they would not kill and make poor but heal and help earn more. The doctors would look after the patients and see what was the result. It should be because the cereals, beetroot, potato and raisin would be scarce when the oil and gas prices would grow up. To feed the animals for the milk and meet and to eat the everyday bread it would be necessary to cut down on the expenses of these products for the production of alcohol on a long term basis. The engine on the coal powder would not change the situation completely. The cheaper drugs would be in need. The State should take it under control not to let the use of the strong drugs grow drastically but the soft ones to be used under the medical control.
Mike knew that the illegal drug traffic would receive a deadly blow, at least for some time. He knew that they would look for the vaccinated boys among the drug dealers. That was the surest way because to establish the drug traffic it was a matter of years and years. You could not just go to the market place and ask for a wholesale deal in the heroine or cocaine. The drug traffic needed strong relations that were established by many years. So, in that business there would be few occasional people and many vaccinated boys from the clan of the thieves-in-law. So, a revolution was necessary to use the occasion for the benefit of the society. To bring it to understanding that to suffer first and to have pleasure in the future was better than to have pleasure first and then to die.
Mike knew that he was not first in that trade of blood through the vaccinations. The soldiers and other people guilty of something were used in the producing of vaccinations. But, the sicknesses work very fast in the bodies of adults and they used such vaccinations very cautiously but Mike gave another kind of blood because he was a child. He gave out a slowly working vaccine of slowly multiplying microbes that gave better chances for the vaccinated people. So, they bit the bait. The very first were the Chechen, who had participated in the whole affair of racketeering Mike’s dad on the behalf of the intelligence office to eat the pills with the vaccines. But, Mike had eaten them instead. So, the Chechen asked for their share of the profits and were given it. As Mike could presume the Chechen were vaccinated among the first. Mike tried to explain to the Chechen elders when they came to his kindergarten to ask how he was able to cope with the sicknesses, that it was necessary for the Chechen boys to forbear of sex and always say about it before the Almighty. Then, they would survive. But, Mike could easily see that the whole nation of the Chechen was a kind of Mafia and they preferred to die valiantly in the battle instead of fasting, going crazy and giving the healthy progeny. And, on account that almost the whole population of the Chechen had been vaccinated, especially the boys, a blood spill was ahead. Mike knew it. He tried to explain himself to the elders but the old men said that their grandsons and sons would not listen to such words. This way an idea to fight for the independence appeared for the sick to look for the death and find it.
‘You know, Mike, the Chechen seem to get out of the yoke with us. What you offer to do with them all?’ The KGB officer asked.
‘It’s because they themselves seek for the conflict. They need a natural selection of the war for their nation. They are afraid they might get infected and die all because some Chechen boys preferred not to fast but to fornicate. All they need is the arms to declare a war to the federal authorities. I spoke with them. They’ll send to the war mostly those that are guilty in spoiling the girls or just sick.’ Mike told.
‘But, whom we will send to the war with them?’ the officer asked.
‘I suppose you vaccinated the Russian boys with my blood also. It’s the same for them as for the Chechen. And, I am sure you've vaccinated the army officers. That’s their fault that they did not want to fast and survive. Instead, they fornicated producing the immunity (rather weak one) because they are sick and attracting the girls, mostly sick ones.’ Mike said.
‘Ok, we’ll look how good the Chechen are as the warriors and send them the arms,’ the officer said.
Mike could easily see that his blood made a kind of wave that killed the people on its moving, though it was intended to help acquire a better immunity and even heal. But, Mike invested so much in the girls he loved that there was left nothing for him for the pleasure except he would fast and learn to restore himself. The doctor had said to him he would have gone crazy all the same in about thirty-five but without any chances had he not decided to forbear. But, for the Chechen and Russian boys, Jacuzzi and Mafia there was another choice, a sublime one. They would also live through their recourses for the sake of the girls they would love. They would hardly bear the kids from the sick girls. Still, they would help them with their money and health. It was their sense of honor. The vaccinated girls would also die of AIDS if they would not get into Mike’s harem and bear him the kids. It’s because there had been a strong AIDS in the pills Mike had eaten already and he still transferred it through his blood though in a very weakened form. All the same, to survive the girls should bear him the kids. Those kids should marry the kids of the other vaccinated girls and boys and give birth to the other kids for the whole population to survive. That is why Mike knew that he and his sons would have the harems with a rather big probability.
They asked if Mike felt himself guilty. Mike said that not. Everybody knew the truth and the rules of the game. Still, he decided not to give his blood to anybody but for the case it would be a girl and it would be for sure she would bear him a child. Too much of the good lessons he had to do otherwise.
Then, Mike understood what moved those boys from the Chechen, Russian, Italian, Japanese and other Mafia. Of course, they could afford the sublime death, die in the war, jail or by a hara-kiri. But, it was what they paid for the future. The idea that the oil, gas and cereals would go in the prices and drive the humanity to accept the soft drugs on the basis of the opium and coca was a matter of fact and common sense. That idea was not the product of Mike’s talent. So, the drug traffic would change and legalize. The State would take it over in a certain part. The long term relations and know-how of the Mafia would be of no sense. So, to conserve the business in the new conditions the Mafia should sacrifice some real values to the society to justify its legal participation in that trade. Otherwise, Cosa Nostra would have gone bankrupt. It was a matter of no doubt that it was dangerous to get vaccinated with any sick blood, including Mike’s blood. So, the fact that they all accepted that idea was a token that they needed and wanted to sacrifice the part of their property and health to the benefit of the society. It would be a kind of investment. Mike could become a martyr and go crazy and ask for a harem because he was from the family of a communist party official, the veteran of the Vietnam war. But, the boys from the Mafia could not burden the society that way and be so cheeky. All they could afford was to burn themselves like candles to support the sick girls as harlots and to cure the sick people with the heroine and cocaine. The whoremongers slept with the harlots to support them with the immunity for their trade, in the case of a success they could even give birth to some kids from the whores, but that was very rarely. So, the Mafia assumed the burden of the health of the nation for the sake of their future business like the drugstores for the soft pills made out of the opium and the factories and restaurants for the beverages from the coca. The Mafia needed the services before the nation to legalize. And, the Chechen elders, Russian thieves-in-law and Sicilian Mafia bosses understood it very well. It was their trade and they could invest what they only had: their own lives and health. As for the Chechen it was simple. The army in the Russia or any other country is that part of the society that has often to die because it is dangerous. Those are sent to the army that are unruly and threatened the society in a certain way. For example, Stalin killed the officers fearing a conspiracy but could not kill the soldiers. So, he sent them to be killed by the German in the encirclements and concentration camps. Those were killed that did not want to work and build the socialism in the compliance with the authorities. The same was for the numerate Chechen wars in the Russia. The peasant communities sent to the war those that were idle and disobedient, the authorities made the same thing, they sent the poets and duelists to Caucasus to come through the natural selection of the war. It was a business, the authority would always pay the Chechen nation for the hired murder of the interior enemy. So, the Second World War was brought into the existence because many people were jobless after the tractor and truck had been invented. With the new Caucasus war, it was simple: the selling of the oil and gas to the West would cut down on the jobs in the Russian economy not able to compete with the Western goods and products. The idle should be killed before turning dangerous. That is why the Chechen knew that the vaccination of the future warriors with Mike’s blood was the price for the future possession of the soft drugs legalized traffic by the Chechen Mafia. They also wanted to get rid of the lazy and dangerous youngsters. Mike knew that in the new Chechen war there would be a lot of encirclements and ambushes like it always happened with the Russian Army. So, the Chechen that more than other nations of the Russia are intended for the crime and war would take a big part of the pie of the legal drug traffic. They would have the liaisons with the Russian intelligence office and the immunity for the new kind of life. The life would change. The massive soft drugs traffic would not kill but cure. So, the future prostitutes or the former ones would be the part of the future quasi-harems for they would last longer. It would be normal to have many quasi-wives for the Mafia boys. And, the people with the heavy sicknesses would live longer and pay more if they want to die in the oblivion of the drug inebriation. So, a better and stronger immunity was necessary to acquire to participate in such a business. In such conditions the natural selection of the war was just a matter of the common sense.
As for the clan of the thieves-in-law and blatnojs, to their task was added to support the other criminals in the prisons. With the advice, food and immunity.
The Sicilian Mafia and American Cosa Nostra needed a better immunity because of the same reasons as the Chechen one. As to the American and other establishment, they needed a better immunity to travel more and trade better. That is why Mike was no enemy of the Mafia. Now, he could see it. He saw the visions how he would talk to the orphans of the Sicilian gangsters in a private atmosphere and then to the American ones in a big hall. He would preach polygamy and patriotism. To be a successful politician it was necessary to advocate for the Mafia.


Terrorist

They said Mike was a terrorist because he communicated with the Chechen. But, Mike knew that the part of the bargain was that the Chechen terrorists would blow up some buildings in Moscow and other cities. Mike did not doubt that in the intelligence office they knew what condominiums would be destroyed by the bombs of the terrorists beforehand and would give the flats in those buildings to the people that had the debts before the State and society. The more so, Mike did not believe in the statement that the occasional victims would happen in the human life at all, because all death was based in a curse, a word spoken beforehand filled with the power to influence the physical world. And, any physics worked on the balance and equitability. A curse was always earned by evil acts, so Mike was philosophic as to the victims ahead. He could not save what was lost. He could not go to the Russian intelligence office and say that they wanted to blow up some buildings on the simple account that they already knew about it over there. He could not become the fighter for the civil lives because he did not know what buildings would be blown up. And, he was not keen on substituting his innocent soul for some guilty ones. Then, the people from Al-Qaida came to ask for his blood. The same as with the Chechen and Sicilian he could not refuse. He knew they would blow up the twin towers on Manhattan. He even knew the date. All they asked him was to tell it to the Americans from his own mouth they would do it. It would be for a kind of legitimacy because Mike was a kind of a martyr and the inventor of the new principle of high-tech warfare. He knew that the American would know it the same. And, he said about it to the American man who also came to ask for his blood. He knew why the Arabs in Afghanistan, Iraq and Saudi Arabia would make a war against the American. First, they needed an ally with the Russian to drive the oil prices up. But only because the American were ready to pay for those new principles of the warfare to control the rest of the world along with the Russian because the secret of the atom bomb would be an open secret after some time. Mike knew it was better to sell a secret than to wait until it would be guessed by the rivals or else somebody would sell it on a private basis. The others knew it also. Thus, it was arranged that Mike would hint how it all worked to his son from an American girl given into his harem with a condition that he would become an American politician. Then, it was promised that the third world war would be a short time show without many victims but for the interior enemy of USA in its own army. For that the formal losers would pay. It would be a kind of the advertisement company for the new weaponry when it would be created. Mike would be a Russian politician to assure for such a go of things. After that, a big politician from Iraq arrived to take Mike’s blood also. Mike gave it and knew Iraq would be for USA the same as Chechnya for Russia. The Al-Qaida also needed the services before the American society and the intelligence office as the rest of the Arab world to sell the opium instead of the oil. It was because the engines would work on the coal powder and the Arabs had almost no coal. Of course, the high oil prices were profitable for USA also because the dollar would get less in the price. The Arab and Russian would have more money to buy the American goods and support the employment and industry in USA but because the American society would pay the Iraq and Afghanistan for the murder of its interior enemies. No doubt that only those who are sick went into the army to die for the money. They seek for a noble death. The people who did not work but shoot were always dangerous even if they served in the army of their own country. Thus, Russia and the Arab countries would be paid and compile the finances for the future buying capacity for the economic world not to fall apart as a house of cards. Thus, the Iraqi assumed the noblest trade of the hired murder as the former formal alley of USA. It would be the same as with the relations of Russia and Chechnya. In the KGB they were very glad with Mike because he found new formal alleys from the formally former alleys of USA. But, it was sure that they were glad because Mike oriented himself in the business and always knew the way the wind blew. He knew that the Iraqi needed and wanted to control the selling of the pills and soft beverages made from the opium in USA. He knew that the Iraqi would kill one another in the civil war for that future business because they could offer to the American no more but their own lives and health in the conditions when the oil would run out. The same would be for the Europe as the future market of the soft natural medicines on the basis of the opium. Afghanistan and the other Arab countries had a culture for growing the opium. What could not be said about the Western world peasantry. Thus, Mike knew that CIA would hire the Al-Qaida to destroy the twin towers of the World Trade Center, to collect there and terminate the people that had the unpaid debts before USA they did not want to pay because looked for a fast and easy death having been sick. Mike knew there would not be any occasional people over there because there was about fifteen years ahead. Mike knew about it but it did not make a terrorist out of him only because he did not want to die instead. He hurried to forget about it.

Deal

After Mike invented the new principles for the antimissile rockets, ballistic and other rockets that allowed for them to maneuver and catch the target or elude from the anti-rocket, he felt afraid. He did not want to happen on the place of a scientist like Einstein after Hiroshima and Nagasaki. First, they said that it would be nice to make a victorious nuclear war. Or at least to use the weaponry and establish a kind of socialist revolution in USA and the rest of the West after winning the war. Really, the antimissile rockets of the new generation would assure a one hundred percent defense of the territory of the Soviet Union provided there would be constructed ten antimissile rockets against one ballistic. The probability that an American ballistic rocket with the nuclear warhead would reach the territory of the Soviet Union would be brought to naught. While the maneuvering Soviet ballistic rockets would penetrate any defense system that existed to that time. This principle could be used in the construction of torpedoes and infantry anti-aircraft rockets. That would assure a superiority of the Soviet submarines, ships and aircraft in the sea and sky. The rockets based on electronics and reacting to the heat could not compete with the rockets of the new generation. The last were much faster in maneuver and economized on the electronics. But, it was not all. Mike also invented a simple mechanism that would bring the rockets based on the electronics and reacting to the heat off the target. The Soviet ships, submarines and aircraft would be invulnerable for the rockets reacting on the heat. They only had to come through a cheap modernization. So, the war was to be won. Even if the Soviet Union would not make a blitz, having such a superiority in the arms it would bring the capitalist system to a collapse because the end of the oil and gas would bring enough hunger for a revolution of the poor. Then, Mike invented the engine on the coal powder. Still, it was not enough to prevent a world socialist revolution touted by the Soviet weapons. Mike gave a writing that he got obliged not to disclose the secrets he knew. Those secrets were not his private possession. And, he was much afraid that they could kill him to assure for more secrecy. So, the only thing he could do was to become a politician and bring to the Soviet Union as much of monetary profit as possible. First, he offered the KBG to make profit of the war. To capture the American and European warships and ask a ransom for them. Then, he offered to make an alliance with the Arab and roofing them with the nuclear weaponry with their asymmetric war attacks on USA to make the American drive up the oil and gas prices. The KGB officer who represented the State before Mike, was glad that it would be the business and they would not count them as the hooligans. There were too much old scores to stay calm in the possession of the new weaponry. The situation changed, even the former allies of USA in the Near East, such as Saudi Arabia and Iraq, decided to make profit on the higher oil and gas prices and were ready to lead a war, secret or open. Now, they could criticize themselves as the traitors of the Muslim values because they sold cheap oil and did not quarrel with the USA. But, the Soviet system was doomed to disappear. First, the American policy of appeasing would consist in the individual bribing of the key Soviet politicians and the population of the Russia as a whole. The Soviet Union was to give the freedom to the former Soviet Republics because Russia would not want to share the future profits of the high oil prices with the rest of the Soviet Union.
Once, the KBG officer asked Mike if he told all the truth about what he knew about the new weaponry. He wanted to know if Mike did not keep something secret he knew himself. He said half in a joke half seriously that they could torture Mike to know the truth. Mike was able to persuade he said all he knew. They wanted to make a rocket scientist out of Mike, but then they understood that what was necessary to think of something new was not to know much of the old theory but to have the common aptitude to give a piece of advice. Mike always promised to think of something useful. So, it was better to leave him alive. The more so, he showed the strength of character in his life. Many times he risked his life if it was because of a woman or an honest innocent man. He proved he was serious in his business and would not sell himself cheap, even if it were the American. Mike was the supporter of the idea that the war should be a negotiated beforehand one. It should be like in the chess, you sacrificed something and gave it in return for something other. Any war was that way. If a man understood it he would be a successful politician and stay alive. Only those were sent to be killed in the battle that had the debts before the society, the ones they should pay. It was because they were lazy or sick. To be lazy and sick is always a relative and an absolute notion at the same time, in the absence of enough alluring jobs, the relatively laziest and sickest die. When Mike brought home that idea to the KGB they accepted that he should say to the CIA about all the terrorist acts planned and prepared by the Arab. Mike told because all knew the Arab would ask the CIA a permit to do such things all the same. So, all would be negotiated beforehand. Nobody would be offended it was negotiated because they did not put any stakes. So, for example, the CIA would have enough time to collect on the American destroyer that would be blown up by the Al-Qaida only those sailors that would be most dangerous before the American State. It would be for such sailors like being sent to a penal battalion. Even, the third world war should be a negotiated one. The American would make a volley of ballistic rockets with the nuclear warheads for them to be destroyed in a big number to bring the American arsenals to be empty because the Russian anti-missile rockets would destroy them. Then, some Russian ballistic rockets with the simple warheads would destroy the places from which the American ballistic rockets started, to show the Russian rockets could penetrate the American defense system. It should be an advertisement company for those new generation weapons to be sold to the American as Mike had promised provided the American and European would pay the price with the raising oil and gas prices. No doubt, that the Russian and Arab were ready to sell the oil no matter if it cost two dollars a barrel or sixty dollars a barrel. So, the Russian nation should understand that the American paid for their security and should be given the access to the new generation warfare technologies. Mike negotiated with the American representatives that the election of his son as an USA president was a logic part of the bargain. Still, Mike could not say when and how those secrets would be sold because they belonged to the Russian nation. Such a bargain might be concluded only on a State to State level. The demanding for the better oil and gas prices could not be a kind of racket. It was necessary to offer to the American and Europeans something in return. It was a promise of the future military collaboration that might be possible at all only if Mike’s sons from the foreign women would become the politicians and leaders in the relative countries. Only so, the Russian could have the guarantees.
Why Mike became so successful a politician being so young? First, he was ready to marry the sick girls from the different countries, he was not a racist or tough nationalist. He was the admirer of the feminine beauty no matter what kind it was. He did not want to be a sublime victor causing the damage to the other part of the world while they could pay and be friends instead. Still, the CIA and that part of the American society that knew about him counted him for a kind of the enemy that should be discredited in the eyes of his own countrymen. Once, when Mike sat on the stone flowerbed near the restaurant, three young American women approached him. They were drunk and one of them made Mike ‘rape’ her. First, Mike said to the ‘aunt’ not to make him do it. But, she was very angry Mike refused to be seduced and compromised. Mike understood that if he did not agree she would receive the damage back home instead of benefits. He asked for some drugs to smoke because he also knew the women were sick in that Mike was the enemy of the American State. So, he smoked much to fight the microbes and an actor awoke in him. He raped that woman. Thus, they told that Mike raped the Hollywood actresses. Next day, she came to reconcile herself with Mike. Mike told her about the third world war that would be a matter of show business, not of murder. He promised to gift her a destroyer returning a captured ship to the USA, an undamaged one. She promised to bear Mike a daughter by the means of the Holy Ghost even before Mike would be sick because of the sexual forbearance. It was because Mike should be a virgin in his own memory for a complex of inferiority when he would forget he was a ‘rocket scientist’, to drive him to fast of sex. Also he should not know he had any kids before getting sound. Thus, his seed should be ‘stolen’ the way arranged beforehand.
After the KGB knew about the affair, they were but angry that Mike gifted the destroyer of the adversary to his ‘mistress’. But, Mike said it was the politics and he did it only because he arranged it with the Arab to blow up an American destroyer and informed the CIA about that. The wrath subdued. Next time, they said that a Russian girl also wanted to bear a daughter to Mike. It was to keep the balance.
Mike did not get much namely himself from his inventions, business and policy. Of course, he left some savings on his personal account for the future. Still, he invested much into the girls and women he loved and all in all it was a big some of money. If he himself might have happened on the place of those girls, he could easily understand that to keep a virgin was a better business for them. Mike had paid to the parents of those girls much, and hardly the girls cost more than he had paid for them. But, they would betray him. He hardly could see any way he might be compensated for that betrayal. It seemed he subsidized the fornication and infecting more and more people because the girls had been vaccinated with his blood and though it had helped them the blood was full of microbes. That is why he made himself believe that the girls he loved would be lesbian and keep faith to him. He did not want to answer if they would contaminate somebody else through sex becoming more attractive by the property Mike gave and would give to their parents. So, he would try to make himself believe they would stay lesbian and all their marriages and friendships would be the false ones.
As to the army, really Mike respected it. Though when they arrived to recruit him as a future special forces soldier he refused because he said he would go crazy. He knew they prepared a way to dispose of him. That was another reason why Mike would forbear of sex till he was out of the age for the army service. He would not serve in the army. Still, he would take part in some gunfire, as he knew was ahead. Mike respected those who went into the army to kill, survive and earn money and property. He was also philosophic if somebody went to the army to die.

Arab

Again the boys said to Mike that a man waited for him near the restaurant. Mike went to the restaurant and there he met a man with a long beard. Mike saw the man was an Arab. They began to talk with Mike about the time when Mike had killed the Tadjik thieves-in-law.
‘They said you declared the jihad to those bandits who wanted to kill the girl. Why you did not want to declare a crusade for example? Whether you are not a Christian?’ The man asked.
‘It’s hard to be a Christian and kill protecting a girl because Jesus said not to resist the evil. If I declared the crusade the Holy Ghost would not come down on me. My idea was to compete in smoking the opium with them that they should get drunk much. To smoke myself as much as I can, inhaling the smoke by the mouth and breathing first out a bit then in and out again the air slowly by the nose that it completely should dissolve in the lungs. Then, it does not cause the nausea and acts as a doping. Only shahids smoke the opium before the battle. That is why I declared jihad.’ Mike explained.
‘We want to declare jihad to USA and blow up the twin towers of the World Trade Center and Pentagon. Could you help us with a piece of advice.’ The man asked.
Mike knew that he was before a choice. He could choose the death and say he did not participate in it. At that time, the Al-Qaida was the enemy of the Soviet Union because it fought with the Russian troops over there in Afghanistan. Though Mike was about ten years old, he could easily understand that that terrorist act was the order of the CIA and the big business related to it. It was a certain profit for the certain part of the American business to destroy the companies and banks located in the twin towers and take over the trade to live on the selling and buying. Somebody wanted to take over the control of the finance and economics from the future victims of the September 11th. Mike even could see why it was planned on the 11th day. The number looked like the twin towers. It would be profitable not only to the CIA but also the KGB because the American would pay the Russian and Arab by the high oil prices. To raise the prices was the common idea among the people. It was profitable to all. To those who sold and to those who bought. The Pentagon was maybe already a danger to the society that is why the CIA wanted to get rid of some part of it. Mike knew that information and the only way for him to survive became to take part in it.
‘You may prepare several groups to seize the airbuses and lead them on the twin towers.’ Mike said it though he knew that the American defense system surely provided for that. For an airbus to fly into the wrong direction to the city for about half an hour under the control of the dispatcher and not to be put down by the anti-aircraft or fighters, was of a very small probability. Still, it was a common idea of how to blow up a skyscraper.
‘But, once the Empire State Building was hit by an aircraft and did not fall down because it’s made of steel.’ The man said.
‘You may say to the CIA to mine the buildings in the steel structures and to blow them from the highest below the hit stories to the lowest and not to blow them up in the middle, then to blow again from up down. Then, the American will understand in the end that the CIA was involved in it due it fell down in such a strange way. They will say first that it is natural way for a skyscraper to fall down, but then those who want to understand will understand. It should be the condition of your participation in it. I mean you the Arab. Thus, they will not attack the Saudi Arabia because of you when you have the prove the CIA participate in that.’ Mike said understanding that he was going to become the accomplice of this terrorist act but it was the only way to survive on such a level of being informed.
The man got glad Mike got involved in it. It was because Mike got compromised himself and added the authority to the planned act. As a matter of course, Mike informed him no other information than the man already knew. From the go of the conversation it was sure they already knew how to make the skyscrapers fall down. Mike was only happy he would make the CIA compromise itself also because he got compromised himself. CIA would understand it and accept because when Mike would write a book about all that they would be even glad because all will understand that nobody could blow the skyscrapers without the participation of that intelligence office.
‘But what if our men would think better of it and not to lead the airbuses to the skyscraper because they might turn cowards at the last moment?’ The man asked.
‘They should know that in such a way the auto-pilot would be programmed to lead the airbuses to the target and end the affair.’ Mike told. He understood also that it was a simple thing and he said nothing new. Though somebody would probably say that Mike thought of the whole thing. By the fact that this enemy of the Soviet Union easily penetrated into Shushenskoe Mike easily understood that it was not because the Al-Qaida and USA were really afraid of the new rockets Mike invented but because they already knew the simple principle of those rockets. Whether they understood it themselves or else somebody sold it, which was more probable, no matter all the American wanted was to buy this secret that was open now. The American economy wanted to sell the goods to the Russian. It was profitable that the Russian were poor and could not make the cars and TV sets. It was also profitable to buy from the Russian that secret they could buy with as much as a million dollars paying billions and billions like they pay the welfare to the black jobless citizen. The American also were interested to lose a nuclear war with a certain guarantee of security to the Russian to say to the American citizens they had to pay more taxes and work more to create the same kind of weapons. But, the fix was Mike already invented those weapons and he did not want to die because they offered him to get involved into the new affair. The man said Mike helped him much and took the blood from his vein with a plastic syringe. Then the man left the place.
There were the times when Mike said to himself he should save those lives that were to perish, but he could not come to USA and make a statement to a newspaper. He even thought that it would be fine if he told to somebody individually that a terrorist act was to happen and take the money from a private person, but it also was not possible because he was not capable to come to USA. If he had tried to make it through the intermediaries they would have killed him and the others who would have known it. This way Mike became a terrorist. It was even arranged that the third world war would start because a journalist would ask if Mike took part in the September 11th on a press conference when Mike would be the president of Russia. Mike would confess and the war would start.

Iraqi messenger

The boys as was the usage called Mike to the restaurant where a man from a foreign country waited for him. Mike went to the stone flowerbed and there a man waited for him. He turned out to be an Iraqi messenger. They began to talk and after some preliminary matters the man invited Mike to come to his own country.
‘Come to our country to serve as a soldier and we will give you the four wives from the Iraqi girls.’ The man proposed.
Mike easily understood that it was a way to get a death because he knew the military secrets and that was what the man really wanted. So, they wanted to get what he knew and then to send to die in the war. Mike got angry.
‘You invite me to become a traitor because you Iraqi are the traitors yourselves. You sold yourselves to the American and lead a war against fellow Muslims in Iran. You buy the American weaponry and sell the cheap oil to break down the prices. You are the traitors of the Muslim world because of you the other Arab countries cannot sell the oil at its real price.’ Mike accused.
The Iraqi man became wrathful, he hit Mike on the forehead with his fist and went away. He stayed for some time in several yards off the place where Mike sat while the boy rubbed his head. Mike waited and the man looked at Mike pondering on something. Then, he came to Mike.
‘We will justify ourselves before the Islam world,’ he said. ‘We’ll make a war against USA and other capitalist countries. We will provoke the war by occupying Kuwait.’ He promised.
Then, the woman who accompanied the man took Mike’s blood into a syringe and they went away.
In the KGB, they were glad at the acquisition of a new alley for Russia. Though, Mike wanted to persuade the officers that the Iraqi stayed the American alleys and the Russian should not sell the new weaponry to them. They joked that Mike said it because the man had hit him.

American politician

First Mike was disappointed that they involved him into the knowledge about the prepared attack on the twin towers but then he became angry with the American. He was irritated to the idea which that American man from the Wall Street he had met had tried to tout to him. He had eaten the war style vaccines and had given his blood that the sick girls in the many countries of the world should get healed. He would forbear and suffer also because he thought of many things for the civil industry also for the American economy. And now that man from the Wall Street had said on the behalf of the American democracy that they would not allow Mike to have the harem. It meant they should use the girls he loved as the harlots because otherwise they could not marry and bear the kids, because the other men besides Mike would not have the immunity for the childbirth for those girls. Again, Mike was forced to subsidy the fornication. He was ready to subsidy the fornication if it would kill the fornicators but he hoped for a harem in the end. He was ready to marry the harlots because if he did not marry the harlots but the virgins his sons would not have the immunity to marry the harlots, they would be bereft of the right of the choice. That is why Mike was philosophic to the betrayal of the girls he loved and paid the fine for. Still, he hoped to get them in the end. But, the American democracy was ready to interfere and make him lose his true right of the equitable compensation for his suffering. And, it was so when Mike persuaded the KGB to make a capitalist reform as the condition of the alliance with the Arab for the good oil prices. It was after they first offered to make a nuclear attack on the West taking avail of the Mike’s inventions of the rockets that reacted to the electric-magnetic anomalies caused by the rockets, aircraft, ships, submarines and tanks to allow an effective navigation. He also invented the anti-locator mechanisms for the Russian ships, aircraft, submarines and tanks that would get the rockets and torpedoes reacted to the infrared heat off the target. And, now they said they would interfere into Mike’s own private life. That is why he allowed that Arab from the Al-Qaida to involve him into that affair in blowing down the twin towers. He was ready to risk. He was not afraid that they would put him into the jail simply because he was ten years old and out of the age of the criminal responsibility. And, he knew the CIA would not kill him when he would be adult because the Russian would get the huge profit to that time and would revenge in the nuclear conflict that was ahead. The more so, by the communication with the Chechen and the KGB at the same time and being a kind of the intermediary he knew the simple philosophy of the war, no matter what it was, total or terrorist. He easily understood that CIA and the big capital hired the Al-Qaida to solve the interior American problem. It was simple, the high oil and gas prices were profitable for the American and European economy, it was an axiom. Because the dollar would turn less costly, the goods would be exported to the oil and gas producing countries to make the unemployment decrease and the company revenue and profits grow up. But, some traders on the Wall Street thought to the contrary that the oil and gas should be cheap for them to get more profit on the difference of the buy and sell prices, the bigger at the proportion when the oil was cheaper than its real price. Mike was not so naive as to believe that the Al-Qaida and Iraq would become the enemies of the USA in so a short period of time. Even if the chieftains of the Al-Qaida would prepare on its own something against the USA, the simple fact that the Al-Qaida had been created by the CIA assured that the CIA would know about it. Mike was the friend of the KGB and he did not want to become the enemy of the CIA only because it hired the Al-Qaida to blow the World Trade Center twin towers to solve the interior economic problem of the USA. He had all that in his soul when he met an American politician near the restaurant that had come to the Soviet Union on the pretence that he was interested in the museum of the Lenin’s exile. Mike felt uncomfortable when the man finally lowered on his knees and fell on the ground.
‘Boy, please do not begin a nuclear war, for the God’s sake, don’t do it,’ he wept.
At that moment, Mike got afraid that some people in the Kremlin could make avail of his inventions while it would be unprofitable. He was afraid himself that that American man was so scared because he knew that Mike invented the new rockets. He was afraid that the Russia could lose the profit from the trade with the USA and he himself would become one who caused the nuclear was instead of getting his personal profit from that invention and other inventions becoming a politician and businessman.
Mike laughed ostensibly, ‘Stand up, there will be no nuclear war just make high the oil and gas prices and there will be no war.’
‘But, how we will raise up them oil prices?’ the man asked getting off the earth.
‘The Arab and other countries including Russia would lower the volume of the oil and gas sold and there will be a shortage and the prices will grow up gradually. You just do not make a war with Iraq when it will provoke you occupying the Kuwait. And, them Arab would not blow up the skyscrapers in USA.’ Mike said knowing that the man would get the political weight because he negotiated with Mike on that. Mike knew the American politician wanted to accuse Mike of what would bring the profit to the American themselves.
‘That’s impossible,’ the man said calmly and beat the dust off his trousers. ‘We will not persuade the public opinion it is justified. It’s only possible if we attack the Iraq the first and second time, and occupy the Afghanistan to make a war against the drug traffic.’
At that point, Mike was sure that the war in Iraq and Afghanistan was what the USA wanted to revenge their former alleys for the betrayal the last had done on the economic basis that was profitable to the USA also. He understood that the American would use the war in Iraq and Afghanistan for the same reason as the Russian who would send the necessary arms to the Chechen to make a war for the independence possible at all. It was to justify the expenses on the army and to create the image of the enemy to distract the public opinion from the interior problems. He understood that the Russian agreed with the USA not to send the new weapons to the Iraq in return for the high oil prices. As any man who wanted to be a successful politician Mike did not try to struggle with the tendencies in the world. All he wanted was to jump on the bandwagon at the right time.
‘We’ll you share the responsibility with us for all that and write in your book about all it?’ the man asked.
‘Yea,’ Mike said, ‘But they would hardly believe I say the truth because I will be crazy before I write that book.’
‘All the same, you write it,’ the man persuaded.
Mike knew that he will write about that in his book because it was the condition for his political career that had already begun because at the absence of the possibility to negotiate about that on other ways besides Mike’s intermediary services they came to ask for Mike’s blood and make policy. All understood it and Mike knew it also it was a condition for him to be a politician in his adult age. The Russian would know that they lived on such a revenue for much time and would have to do nothing but to make him the president when the oil would begin to end and engine on the coal powder would not solve all the economic problems. It would be for him to answer for what he did because he invented the new rockets and anti-locator mechanism that allowed for the world to change. Though, he did it only because he had no choice but to follow the suit that the adult men ordered. He allowed the woman that accompanied that American politician take some blood from his vein.
‘I know why the CIA gives its consent at the murder of the personnel of the twin towers and the international department of the Pentagon.’ Mike said. ‘It’s because you’ve vaccinated them with the vaccines against the bacteriological war as a sample vaccination. The buildings are contaminated and the newcomers get infected with the viruses when they come to work in the World Trade Center or the international department of the Pentagon. You also vaccinated the soldiers against the bacteriological weaponry and you need the first war against Iraq to use the radioactive and chemical materials to vaccinate the soldiers to see if they get healed on the pretences Iraq can have the chemical and bacteriological weaponry. But you need the second war in Iraq and Afghanistan to make die those who stay infectious and dangerous. It’s the same as with Russia. The Chechen need the war because they participated in racketeering the men to take part in the preparing of the vaccines like it was with me and my dad. It was to take part in the profits and use vaccines for their private purposes, that is why they need the war for the seek to die the same as for the Iraqi soldiers and Afghanistan warriors. If I write in my book about it nobody will say I am guilty of anything. You just want to make me answer for your own faults.’ Mike said.
The lower jaw of the American politician lowered down, he swallowed. ‘But, we used your blood for the vaccinations and we will say that it is your blood also that made them die.’
‘They will know that’s not so because the girl that had been vaccinated with my blood would still live to that time. As for the blood of others, it was their personal choice to accept those vaccinations or not. All understand it costs somebody a big price for these vaccines to exist, the health and even life. So, they’ll die because of their personal choice, especially those in the twin towers. They will have more sexual partners and better impressions because they have the immunity and antibodies to offer while somebody bought it for them with the anguish and death. I will give you an advice. You just forget about that and do not make yourself guilty if those men and women die. They accepted those vaccines because they were already sick. It’s like the chemical defense troops in Russia, they send those young men there who need such vaccination because of the medical grounds. The people in the twin towers and international department of the Pentagon wanted a better immunity not to get infected travelling abroad and communicating with the representatives of the other nations. They knew what they accepted and you just forget about it.’ Mike said.
Thus, they parted. Then, when a Japanese man asked for Mike’s blood to vaccinate his daughters and nieces he asked if Mike would revenge the American for Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Mike said that the Arab would blow the two skyscrapers in New-York and Mike knew about it. The Japanese man smiled and asked if he could phone to a newspaper and say it was the revenge for the Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Mike said that it was his right.
When Mike was already a young man, some Internet frauds involved him into the negotiations about the fabulous millions. They called from London and Mike asked what the man wanted. The young man joked that he wanted to take a bazooka and put down a flight. The man said it so fast with the British English accent that Mike could not discern it right away, though recalled it in his memory like a tape recorder would do to decipher later. The young man asked if Mike understood what he talked about. Mike said that he did not understand namely what he was talking about but he understood only the young man from London talked about some practical things. It looked much like a parole for a terrorist act that would leave Mike as the organizer off the legal hook. Next day, the armored machines of the British army occupied the airport Heathrow. That time Mike thought it was a coincidence and joked about it to his pastor Vitally. But, after some time when he recalled about his past he knew that somebody did not spend the money to collect the evidence Mike was a terrorist.
Then Mike also understood why the American intelligence had allowed the Al-Qaida to blow up a destroyer. Surely, it was because the crew of that warship had been vaccinated against the bacteriological attack on a sample program. That is why it had been to exterminate the certain part of the crew to prevent a possible plague. Mike did not believe the Arab would act just on the instincts. He had known it was a gentlemen agreement between the Al-Qaida and CIA. That is why at the question of the Arab emissary how to blow up the destroyer Mike had said that the surest way had been to load a heavy lorry with the explosives and breaking the gates to penetrate on the pier and blow up the lorry and the destroyer. He had known that the only way not to die knowing so much had been to become an adviser. Though, he had wanted to spare the lives if it had been possible. At the question of the Al-Qaida emissary what to do if the Al-Qaida chieftains would not be able to prevent the young Islamic radicals to plan an attack on the British airports when the oil prices would be high enough, Mike had advised to give the information about such planned terrorist acts to the British intelligence office not to spoil the game.

Polonium

Again Mike met a man near the restaurant with whom they began to argue on Mike’s future plans to have a harem.
‘If I know that I will have a harem I will forbear of sex and fast to have it, for myself not to die. But, if I knew I would have no harem I would have died. That is why I need a harem.’ Mike simply explained to the man what there was in his life.
‘So, for you it’s to be or not to be like for the Hamlet. Now, listen here Hamlet. Your immunity system will be destroyed by the viruses and you will die. Surely, die. As the laboratory mice. They die, them laboratory mice and you will not live also.’ The man concluded.
‘But, you are as Polonium, as a rat as Hamlet said about him, and you’ll die as a rat. You’ll die as a rat yourself when they will poison you with the polonium and your immunity system will fail because of the radiation.’ Mike said in wrath.
The man laughed, ‘But, you know how much it costs, the polonium? It’s necessary to buy the polonium worth forty or fifty millions of dollars to kill a man. You are not worth it, boy. One of us should die. I bet it’s you.’ The man said and went away after Mike did not tell anything more.
When next time he was in the KGB he told about that man to the officer.
‘He said I am not worth it,’ Mike concluded his tale.
‘Mike, if you make us the oil prices as much as sixty dollars a barrel and they keep for a pair of years. I can tell you that he will not live longer.’ The officer assured.

Scar

When Mike anointed the future oligarchs one of them offered Mike to become a soccer player and play in the British soccer team he intended to buy because Mike had won with his team the tournament against the best children teams of the Europe. Mike laughed and refused. The other one kept silence but the last was on his jitters a bit.
‘You’ve got a distinctive mark on your ear. But, what if I pay for you to have a scar on the face to become distinguishable even in a better way?’ The young man asked.
Mike did not say anything that time but in KGB he said that that future oligarch was not a reliable one.
‘I think he wants to be a president also and could put in danger the life of our future president,’ Mike said.
‘Let’s have it the way it is. What happened?’ The officer demanded.
Mike told.
‘So, you offer to make a kind of show process and bereave him of his property by a confiscation?’ the officer said.
Mike kept silence to show it was what he would accept.
‘But, you should negotiate yourself with the criminals for some of them to make a scar on his face,’ the officer said.

The theory of conspiracy

Mike told about the engine on the coal powder to some Japanese engineers.
‘When the oil prices will be high and the public will think the car production industry is unprofitable any more you should share the secret you know with some financiers and buy the cheap shares before I write in my book about the engine on the coal powder,’ Mike proposed.
‘But what if the Jacuzzi may kill us for that?’ one of the Japanese men asked.
‘You just sell to the Jacuzzi the shares at the discount price when it will be sure the car production industry will not have a big depression because of the invention of the engine on the coal powder,’ Mike said.
‘But, what if to keep it a secret longer and buy the shares even cheaper to have a better profit?’ a Japanese asked.
‘Then, the State could accuse you of the depression in the industry of the car production while you knew about the engine on the coal powder. The State could punish you for that,’ Mike explained.
Then, he said that the condition was to share the profits with his future sons and daughters from the Japanese girls that were sick at the time. They agreed. Mike made the same with the American and German engineers. He knew he would have revenue from his invention according to the scheme he thought of.

Thief-in-law

Mike went near the bus station toward the bar when a man met him. He was a gangster. He asked if Mike had really raped that American woman and the Italian girl. Mike said that it had been a ritual to save their honor and they had been paid and had known they would be paid afterwards. That is why they had seduced him.
‘I have to tell you that the mob decided for you to be a thief-in-law. The Slaves have declared you the thief-in-law and the Spades will also acknowledge you. We’ll count your terms in the asylum for the equivalent terms in the jail.’ The man said.
It meant the Spades as they called the mob members from Caucasus and Muslim republics of the Soviet Union would acknowledge him and not revenge for the blood of the Tadjik gangsters.
‘But, can I marry, work, have a pension and acknowledge my children?’ Mike asked in that he knew that ordinarily the thieves-in-law were not allowed to marry, work, have a pension and acknowledge the children.
‘You can do all that, boy. Simply, you do not interfere in our mob affairs and study well to become a big man… And, what if some had tried to kill your children?’ The gangster asked.
‘Then, my children from the girls that want to bear me the children secretly would have revenged,’ Mike said, ‘But, no harm will happen to my children.’
‘Ok. But, we should warn you that there’s a gangster. His nickname is Badger. He has a scar on his nose and left cheek. He wants to make you answer for what you did on the behalf of some part of the mob we call the ‘limitless’. They already harmed some good guys. They work for the police. So, we just warned you…And, I also was vaccinated with your blood and I will forbear and the mob allowed me to have a pension from the State also. They say it is not foul for me to have a pension from the State if I forbear.’ He told going away.
After several days, the policemen arrived into the school and entered the cloakroom near the sport hall. They searched all over Mike’s body for a knife. Mike was empty. Then, a few days later, Badger entered into the cloakroom before the physical culture lesson. Mike knew him by the scar on the face. He kicked Mike upon the belly when he sat on the bench. Mike put out his arms to weaken the blow. His classmate Nick who carried the razor blade for him took it out of the soap-dish where he kept it having put into a pocket. Mike took the razor blade into his hand.
‘Well, bitch, try to kick once more,’ he offered to Badger.
‘We’ll meet tomorrow evening and I’ll see what you’ll say then,’ Badger said.
But, Mike saw him no more. They said next day they found him hanged on a rope in a closet near the cloakroom of the sport hall. Mike did not know who did it, the KGB or the mob. But, he was glad they respected his new status of the thief-in-law. Still, he was not glad because he was a thief-in-law because he had to forget about it. On the contrary, he would have to have an inferiority complex to fast in the future and stay alive.


Game

It was a few days after the foreigners had beat Mike near the restaurant. Mike was afraid that he could make his mother worry more if he got into some other trouble. Also, Mike had been belabored and that is why he was afraid to get into some other quarrel. The mom sent him to the summer school. Mike tried to keep himself unnoticed. All the same three boys who had heard that they had said about Mike that he had raped a girl decided to play into a game that was to show Mike had to answer for his mischief. It was Horseradish, Spirit and Max. Horseradish beat with the butt of a toy shotgun upon Mike’s teeth. Spirit hit Mike with a stool upon his head. Max hit Mike upon the jaw.
‘Crawl under the bed,’ they insisted, ‘Crawl under the bed.’
Mike kept silence because he knew he was guilty. But after some time Horseradish returned. He wept and was scared. Maybe it was because somebody told him about what boy Mike was.
‘I am a sick boy,’ he wept, ‘please, fuck me when you’ll grow up. Please, fuck me. I don’t want that they should kill me.’ He wept.
Mike excused himself out of it. Then, after many years when he was a young man he heard that some gangsters in Krasnoyarsk entered into the flat rented by Horseradish, Spirit and Max and made seriously the things the boys played with Mike in their childhood. Horseradish got into his teeth a blow with the butt of a shotgun, Spirit got a blow of a stool upon his head so hard the stool broke in pieces, Max got a blow on the jaw. It was after a man invited the three young men to look after a marketplace in the city. It looked like a vengeance of a criminal group for an attempt to take over their business. But, it strangely looked much like what they tried to do many years ago to Mike, who they said had a brain concussion. Then, they said Horseradish was dishonored in the jail. Mike felt that the mob revenged for him.

Queen of hearts

When an American man arrived to the hostel in Shushenskoe for some reason (maybe to find out about the vaccines that Mike had eaten) Mike began to explain to him his new idea of the computer interface. Though, the man was an engineer he was not able to understand Mike’s idea from the very beginning. Mike told about the usage of icons instead of the complex commands in the languages of the programming. He showed a draft on the empty form of a document that was something like the future Microsoft Word. He showed to the ventilation pane that was like an icon as an example of an icon for the whole window to open. Or else, the commands could be made by pushing on the icons on the screen. Only, it was necessary to make a mouse that would make the arrow on the screen to move about and activate the commands by a push on the button of the mouse. Mike said that if a USA company would make such a software it would keep the monopoly because once the personal computers would work on such software the other sorts of it would not be justified economically for the other programs invented by the smaller firms to work and be oriented to one format. The American man began to write something in his notebook and took the form with the draft of the icons into his pocket. Then, he went away excited at what he just got to know.
After some time a man from USA arrived to the hostel of the agricultural college where Mike lived. He asked what Mike wanted as a compensation for what he had invented. Mike had heard about a young woman in USA that led a scandalous and provocative life. Mike knew it was because she was sick and could not bear a baby. She protested against the God. Mike wanted to allow that woman to bear a kid from himself. Though he was just four years old as yet he wanted to justify his deed of having eaten the military vaccines. That is why he got interested in that young woman. Mike said that he wanted that this woman would give birth to his child when he would be an adult man. So, he asked for good poets, composers and promoters for that young woman to get the good songs to start a successive career as a singer. The man from USA got glad and they shook hands.
Then, the KGB called for Mike to inform him they thought he was a traitor because the USA would use those icon principles for the easier military management of the aircraft, rockets, and other technical purposes. Thus, Mike told about the new rockets and anti-locator he invented. The KGB officers got also very glad because the new mechanisms were intended to economize on the electronics to be simple and effective and hinder and put off the target the rockets and other technics on electronics. Mike explained that he had told those electronic secrets only for the civil use and a military bankruptcy of the capitalists. After that the KGB allowed to Mike to share his inventions with the Westerners if there was an economical civil sense.
Once, Mike even killed three Italian gangsters for the sake of that woman and the Sicilian Mafia boss Mike respected much whom they half jocularly half seriously promised to dishonor both like it happened with the Tadjik old man and Catherine his granddaughter. They said Mike would not be able to prevent it and revenge afterwards because he would not be able to come to Sicily. One of the gangsters was from the family of that Sicilian Mafia boss that is why Mike knew it was to happen if he did not prevent it. He stood on the stone flowerbed and taking the razor out of his right pocket descended on the asphalt. In the meantime, he quickly passed the sharp blade on a line to cut the belly of each gangster and make the scarlet blood to appear the white shirts. Then, turning around and not looking at the gangsters he went away. On the way, he calmly wiped the blood off the razor blade upon the long skirt of an Italian woman from the same delegation to make her squeal. He was nine years old then. In the KGB, they first upbraided him for the murder of the foreign tourists he had done with so much of cynicism they said. But, Mike was able to persuade them that the gangsters provoked him for an attack and wanted to kill him in an ostensible self-defense. It was because Mike wanted when he would be adult to take the drug traffic under the State control for the weak inebriating beverages from coca to be sold instead of liquor. When the last would be costly at the running out of the oil and rising of the prices on the gasoline and cereals. And, also for the pills made from the opium to be used under the medical control in the deficit of alcohol. He said it was the only measure to fight the possible high traffic of the strong drugs in the deficit of the cheap alcohol. He said that some bosses were ready to legalize while some wanted to keep the old rules to get better revenue. The KGB officers said they would look after the foreign criminals from then on and appraised Mike for his courage.
Then, the time came when Mike met that American woman when he was already ten years old. It was the time already when they counted Mike for a terrorist and a nuclear war in which Russia would win seemed to be more probable. The only question was how much damage the USA would be caused to and how much they were ready to pay for their security. Thus, they sent that woman to propitiate Mike and bribe him in a certain way to discredit before the KGB and make decrease the Russian spoils. By the simple logic of the life she had to seduce Mike though she was an adult woman and Mike a ten years old boy. But, Mike smoked some drug when he met her so he did not remember the go of the events on the whole. It was first to forget and not to recall it later because Mike had to believe he was a virgin to have a complex and forbear of sex in the future. It was also to fight against the microbes because Mike knew that it was a certain peril for a boy to have sex with a sick adult woman. So, all Mike remembered was that the woman drank much to get courage in the restaurant where Mike usually met the foreigners. When Mike asked the woman to spare him and not to make him have sex with her she grasped his hair and beat his face several times against her naked vagina saying ‘come on, come on, come on’. Mike understood he put her into a predicament. He paid to her already and wanted to have a baby from her. At least, he had said it to that American spy. But, he turned a politician and allowed himself to get involved into the terrorism against USA. It was to revenge the millions of victims among the Soviet citizens during the Second World War when the USA and the other capitalist countries had armed the Germany and other countries against the Soviet Union. They threatened to arm the Germany more if the Soviet Union would be successive in the first days of the war. Thus, they made Stalin to choose the only alternative of the strategy of the sacrifice of the lives of the Soviet soldiers and ordinary citizens to play into the hands of the German army on the limit of fault. It was not to allow the capitalist countries to make an alliance against the Soviet Union when the American and other nationals would get afraid of the strong Germany. They made Stalin to exterminate the mythological interior enemy as the only choice in the situation that existed. All they wanted was the cheap oil, gas and other natural resources to make a kind of colony out of Russia. Then, the American played an alley forced into it by the cost of the millions of lives of the Soviet citizens because the Germany would threaten the Britain and USA. The same way Mike arranged with the Arab (the natural economic alley of Russia) to lead an asymmetric war against USA and Europe. When Russia would play the role of the anti-terrorist warrior covering the Arab with the nuclear weaponry in the same time allowing the American to make a war only against their former Arab alleys as the way for the last to redeem their guilt. Russia would pay to the West with the same coin of hypocrisy. Only the victims among the Americans and Europeans would be just enough for the economical compensation of forcing them to raise the oil and gas prices instead of a mere arithmetic vengeance that was quite possible at the possession of the new generation rockets, bombs and anti-locators. Still, Mike was the supporter of the idea of the minimalism and he knew when enough was enough. He also knew that Stalin used the German and the rest only to make away with the economically useless citizens when the invention of the tractor and truck made many working hands superfluous. That is why he was ready to participate in the terrorism against the West only when it was justified by the simple fact that the future victims would be the interior economic enemy of the USA and Europe. He knew that if he refused to take part in it, they would kill him no matter for all his inventions. They wanted to make a politician out of Mike and to force him to exchange his human authority for the politic plans of the adult men no matter whom they were, the American or Russian. But, that American woman hardly understood it. Mike was for her a very bad boy whom she first maybe hated. She knew her role. It was to defend the interests of her own country by making Mike use her. Maybe, she really believed the nuclear war was possible and wanted to prevent it. Maybe she wanted to propitiate Mike who made the victory in the ordinary and nuclear war for the Russian quite possible. But, what she did not understand was the simple point that Mike did not change the political world. He invented the civil and military things and it made the world change. What was to happen would happen all the same no matter if Mike participated in it or not. The Russia and the Arab countries could afford now not to feed the alleys that did consumed the oil at the cheapest prices to defend themselves against the enemies that wanted to buy the oil and gas even cheaper.
All Mike remembered about that day was that it was cloudy and the American woman was clothed in the white jeans and a gray and rosy wool knit pullover. Finally, Mike could not keep himself calm and had sex with the female for the second time in his life.
The next day, Mike hardly remembered the events of the previous day. The American woman was already clothed in a dark jacket and long dark skirt. All the same, Mike could not remember the events of that day completely also. All he remembered afterwards was that the woman first wanted to put a curse on Mike and asked if Mike was courageous enough to accept it for the sake of the American girls.
‘Just open your heart and I’ll put it into it,’ she said about a black piece of paper, which symbolized the curse.
‘Ok,’ Mike said.
He allowed the woman to put curse on him praying that he would suffer for it afterwards when he would be adult. The woman went behind the corner of the restaurant. Then, she returned disappointed that the sure Cabala curse did not work. But, it was because Mike imagined that he did not put the curse into his heart rightly but into a middle camera. The woman returned and asked if Mike really put it into his heart not seeing the effects of her witchcraft. She asked to take it back from Mike’s heart to check all was Ok with her black paper. Mike was not afraid of the magic though he knew it was real because the witches pronounced the incantations on the black paper and there was certain information on it that would bring about the gravitation or electric-magnetic charge to kill Mike by a heart failure. He was ready to take that curse because he knew that it would make easier the life of that American woman and her fellow Cabala witches. But, he wanted to lever it along the years of his life knowing in the same time that the curse would awake in his heart later when he would forbear of sex.
‘I’ll give you back your black paper,’ Mike said.
The woman took the paper and the gravitation came on her. She went away angry that Mike had cheated her. She returned back and asked Mike to take back the curse. Mike took it back the way he conditioned for himself. He knew that otherwise he would die of the heart attack and that was only according to the science because the black paper contained the information on it. Mike took it and the woman felt relieved. He went behind the corner the next time. Then, she returned angry that her sorcery had no effect on Mike. She asked why it had no effect on the boy.
‘I know how you made the sorcery on that black magic,’ Mike said.
‘It’s a curse of an old witch,’ the woman said with a smile to scare Mike now when she saw there was no effect. ‘But, why it does not play the trick with you?’ She asked.
‘The old witch has no concern here,’ Mike said. ‘I know how you made that curse. Only, the young women with the menstruation are involved in that witchcraft. They held that black paper in the hand each of them during the menstruation and the gravitation came on it. Then, you put the paper into the holder and passed it over to some other young women to make a gravitation charge on it. It does not make the effect on me only because I make a kind of lever dividing that charge in the time. You make it because you want to be healed.’ Mike said. ‘I will take on me even more curse through that paper just so much as not to die of it when I will fast of sex. That way you will be able to feel the orgasm when you’ll recall what happened yesterday during the meditations. That will heal you. I made it with a girl in the kindergarten once to heal her of the sicknesses and the drug addiction. I even can make you hear the voices and see the visions if you want to know how much of curse there is on my heart already.’
The woman went away behind the corner of the building to her chaperones. She returned back and wept because she saw how much of curse there was on Mike’s heart. It was because Mike said that those people that they said Mike was going to murder would die all the same because they had been contagious through the vaccinations against the bacteriological war. The CIA prepared all it by the hands of the terrorists for the rest of the American society not to get infected. Even the people on the aircraft that would strike the skyscrapers would not be occasional. Even the kamikaze themselves were already vaccinated and would have been killed otherwise because they were dangerous for the rest of the society. Mike was to share the responsibility with the American politicians only because he wanted the gravitation to come upon him and kill the microbes that lived in his blood. He said that there was only one way for those infectious vaccinated males not to die, it was to forbear, and for the similar women not to die to give birth to the kids from the men who forbore and had the immunity. The woman sobbed. After she wept away her tears, she proposed to tell Mike’s fortune by the cards. She proposed Mike to pull the card above the deck. Mike pulled and there was the queen of hearts. She asked Mike what it meant. Mike said that it meant that the woman would be a kind of mistress of him and bear him a daughter because she was the queen of heart. He recalled how a little time before it the woman had said that she had been vaccinated with Mike’s blood but it would not help her and she would die of cancer because it had been hereditary for her family. In Russian, the cancer was the synonym of the crawfish. So, Mike had said that if he would have sex with the American woman like the crawfish and she would bear him a baby, she would be healed. The woman had joked that it would be possible only by the Holy Ghost because she had been a virgin and lesbian. Now, it seemed to be closer to what would happen truly.
The woman said that she would sacrifice her songs to Mike and Mike helped her to think of the songs like it had been in the hostel with the American spy before the career of the singer had begun for that woman. She said Mike had a talent and persuaded him to become a disk jockey. Mike said it was not possible. She said that she was afraid that the women that sang with her in the background could make her lose her place. Mike said that she could make a background singing for her songs herself. Only it was necessary to tape the background singing and cover with it the main song by the stereo effect. The woman did not catch the idea from the very beginning but then understood and was glad. She said she was afraid she could wind up as Merlin Monroe had ended, that the CIA might kill her because she would bear a baby to Mike. But, Mike said it would not be so because Mike could revenge her and they killed Merlin Monroe because she spoiled the image of the national sex symbol. Which the woman would not do because she would be healed. Only, she had to wait until Mike would forbear and have the immunity. But, they counted and it turned out that then she would be too old. She proposed to bear the daughter to Mike secretly even before the time he would forbear. Mike said that she should better marry a husband that would look like Mike and bear a daughter from him that would look like Mike’s daughter for him to have the comfort. He said that he would make himself believe in it though it would not be true. Otherwise, it was not proper because the only choice for their common daughter to have the immunity would be to bear a kid from the son of Mike that would forbear to have the immunity. It was owing to the other boys would not forbear and have the necessary antibodies. And, though Mike himself wanted to marry his own half sister like Abraham had done with Sarah because she was sick in that their common dad had been vaccinated in Vietnam where he had been a military adviser and Mike would have the necessary immunity for the healthy kids. It could be an example hard to follow. She said that she would arrange for the photo of her daughter to be printed beside the photos of her two husbands that Mike persuaded her to have because it was only natural for a woman to have sex because any woman needs the testosterone. Still, she said that she could stay a lesbian and they arranged how she would make a kind of prove that her marriages would be the false ones to persuade the other girls of Mike to make the same choice. Mike said he needed to believe that she was a lesbian and would marry him in the end as her only man when he would become a writer and actor. So, the gravitation would come upon him to make the testosterone rise and kill the microbes in his blood. She proposed to bear him a boy also but Mike said it was bad because he wanted only such sons as he would bring up himself because his sons would have died very soon if he had not persuaded them to forbear to have the harems. All the same, Mike was afraid that the woman would exchange her baby for another one with some other woman in the maternity hospital as some women did and Tina also had said she would do. It would be for her next child not to resemble Mike. Mike knew that the girls said that they would act like harlots and conclude the false marriages only for Mike to get off some pressure for some time not to die because they wanted to suffer for their kids also. That could be the truth. But, that could be the lie. Mike was able to persuade that American woman that he was not a terrorist but a politician. That the future victims would die only not to infect the rest of the nation because they made the choice to have been vaccinated themselves. He also said that the American would start the nuclear war in the alliance with the European even when they would know for sure that the Russian would win. It was for the NATO ballistic rockets with the nuclear warheads to be destroyed in the atmosphere to make rise the level of the radioactivity. Mike said that he would never share the secret with the Russian if it were not for fighting the AIDS. The radioactivity would drive the males to be impotent. And, the only choice for the males to stay sexually active would be to forbear of sex to raise the testosterone level and fight the microbes weakened by the radioactivity to acquire the immunity against the AIDS and other sicknesses. Mike said he was very grieved that the American woman humiliated herself by the sex with him, a ten years old boy. But, she smiled at it. She asked if Mike would be bold enough to write in his book about her sacrifice to struggle against the Kremlin military vultures. Mike asked if she would sue him in the court. The American woman said she would think about it. Mike said he would not disclose her identity in his book to save her honor. Thus, they parted and she went away with the woman that translated for her.


One more curse

The American woman had said that the fortuneteller had foretold her that she would get into an accident and break her bones. Mike proposed to take that curse on himself and offered her to tell him in more details what and who threatened her. Mike knew how the fortuneteller prophesied. Somebody from the intelligence office said her that they planned an operation to punish somebody and she had to warn a person about an inevitable or avoidable evil that awaited for such a person. In return, they collected the information for the intelligence office from the people that did not want to apply to such secret security authority directly. For that a fortuneteller took the money. She bought and sold the information that had a sure character. It was not a guess but a sure say. So, Mike wanted to know who threatened the American woman, who had promised to bear him a daughter and become a mother of his child through the innocent conception. He wanted to know it to offer something to those who threatened her or take measures to prevent it. He was ready to offer his own services in return. But, the American woman insisted that she should also suffer for their future happiness. As much as Mike tried to persuade her to tell the full truth for him to take the necessary steps she was obstinate. She asked only that Mike should revenge for her pain to the people who would imminently cause her to be a victim of an accident where she would break her bones. Mike could penetrate into the logic scheme of her feminine mind but he was afraid. Then, he understood her motives. Still, it was a humiliation for him that the woman who was ready to bear him a child should suffer because he was not able to protect her. Mike knew it could be his own guilt added to her guilt. He also knew that he would have less respect for himself when it would happen. It was strange for him to think that it might be solely the guilt of that woman. But, to acknowledge that the woman would answer for his own guilt and acts caused him anguishing remorse. Of course, he helped her to become what she was and would be accepting it as a payment for one of his inventions. All the same, it was fearful to think that the woman would suffer because she accepted his help and they imputed her Mike’s own guilty acts. Mike hoped that the woman knew it was strictly her own fault. Still, by the knowledge of the life Mike knew that no matter if she made some practical mistakes she allowed herself only to do it to bargain her own health instead of money and freedom. Mike knew that in that she used his faults the same way as in his own suffering and practical acts of guilt Mike used her faults and acts. Surely, after that the relations between her and him was more of a business and she was very free in her status. She proved she was an independent woman. To be with her Mike had to conquer her again not as the woman he helped financially though indirectly but as a completely free woman. Mike’s own suffering was inevitable, it was justified by the future profits. It caused him no organic damage to his body. What waited for him was the negative temporary functional change of his metabolism. Really, no damage to the body was ahead. And, that American woman condescendingly said she was also ready to suffer for their common love. However, it seemed to Mike it could be avoided. Mike also was afraid that they would cause her the pain only because they believed that Mike would morally sanction that owing to his own possible offence as to that woman. If it was on the part of the American society Mike could threaten it with more possible damage in the nuclear conflict that should be the natural result of his invention of the new principles of the rocket technology. But, the woman said it was a private matter. First time in his life Mike met the situation when the matters were contrary to his personal credos that a man should suffer for the benefit of the child and its mother. The woman showed she was ready to suffer for her own faults herself and what was mostly disagreeable for the faults of the man with whom she intended to bear a child. Truly, she showed she was independent and free, which Mike deemed not to be proper for the woman. Still, he hoped he would make her dependent and not free when they would unite. Mike could not understand the situation fully.


Betrayer

Mike was four but he knew that a man had betrayed his father to the KGB when they had made him to decide to eat the pills with the military vaccines because he had slept with the wife of a regional party secretary. But, Mike also knew that it had been all planned and the father fell a victim to the plot that had been organized beforehand. It had been because his dad had had the good health and showed the good results during the vaccinations before Vietnam. Mike also knew who that man who had betrayed his father was. Still, when he arrived to the house of that man he tried to make friends with his son. But, the boy derided Mike.
‘You’ll be crazy and a fool but I will have a good job and a flat and cottage in Moscow. We cannot be the friends.’ He laughed along with his cousin.
Mike went away from his room and played with his toy lorry in the hall. They called him into the parlor to the adults. Mike was angry and he began to prophesy and said that the host will have a flat and cottage in Moscow but go to the hell.
‘It’s worthwhile,’ the man joked, ‘to have a flat and cottage instead of the eternal life.’
‘But, it is not all,’ Mike said, ‘You will die of cancer even before you have a chance to fully avail of it.’
‘Why I should die of cancer,’ the man laughed.
‘It’s because you will be nervous and smoke much worrying that they may kill you,’ Mike said.
The son of the man appeared in the parlor with his cousin.
‘A crazy Christian, a prophet. You’ll go crazy!’ The boys laughed.
‘But, you will go into the hell,’ Mike said.
‘But, I will have a flat and cottage in Moscow and a good job because you will suffer. They promised it to my father.’ He teased.
‘It’s temporally,’ Mike said, ‘they did it because they want to sell the vaccine abroad and want to show like it was not planned but it is a due punishment to him. You should earn totally what your father will get lest they should kill you and take all that back to the State. You are a fool yourself if you do not understand that.’
‘But, I will betray somebody else and keep that property,’ the boy laughed.
‘Then, you are surely a fool and they will kill you taking avail that you try to betray your friends or partners.’ Mike calmly said.
The wife of the host began to weep and said, ‘Mike, I will make an inheritance that it all should be yours.’
Mike wanted to say that he did not need the thirty pieces of silver but then kept silence pitying the woman.
‘What do you say, the foolish woman,’ the host said to his wife.
Thus, the resumed friendship got cancelled again. Still, after several years it resumed again. About that time in the KGB they asked how the relations of his family with that of the man who had betrayed the father were. It was a provocative question.
‘Why you give them a big flat in Moscow, a cottage and a firm. What he did to get that? Whether his friendship with my dad costs it? But, my dad is still his friend.’ Mike demanded.
‘That’s none of your business, Mike, whether you paid for that yourself?’ the officer asked.
‘It turns out I should pay for that. I gave my blood for the vaccination and I will suffer not to die or stay crazy for the whole life. That’s a program that has the finance and it should have a certain profit. Otherwise, it would not exist. I know why you pay him so much. It is to be good before the Westerners to whom you want to sell your vaccine. But, I almost alone work for that profit, and now that man will get more than you paid to me. I simply say that when it will not be necessary to show off before the foreigner, he should work and pay for all that himself. To make something to justify his property. I do not want to cover his bliss with my suffering.’ Mike said.
‘But, you forgave us. Whether you did not forgive us?’ the officer asked.
‘I forgave you and I forgave him but I do not want to pay for his property. All should earn what he possesses.’ Mike said.
‘You said yourself that we will solve that problem,’ the officer said.
‘Maybe, you’d better cancel it at all and let the boy earn as much as he can instead of making him pay for so much if he cannot justify it?’ Mike proposed.
‘That’s none of your business,’ the officer said, ‘just sit and watch the movie and you’ll know the end.’
Mike did not comment it. He knew he tried to help his new friend he had no matter that the father of that boy had betrayed his own father. But, he saw he could not do it.

Double-edged situation

Mike felt doubt as to the justification for the payment to Julia and other girls so much beforehand. Julia’s mother asked for a cottage and a flat, including the money for the education of her and her brother that was a bit younger than she was. It was not Mike’s money but Mike would have to suffer for that and also work much to redeem that property by his personal efforts.
‘What if she gets all that property and refuses to marry me?’ Mike asked.
‘Then, there will be business, nothing personal,’ the officer said with a smile.
Mike felt bad that a threat of murder was necessary for his happiness. He wanted to be attractive that the girls should accept him. He was ready to work much and earn all those girls by his labor. Still, a thought crept into his soul. Mike was unhappy because he had eaten the pills with the military vaccines and had to forbear of sex and suffer. There was a temptation to die and not to suffer. Thus, the idea of jihad was conceived in Mike’s soul. But, he knew that the Russian society would not support his family in such a case but on the contrary revenge them for it because many girls had been vaccinated and Mike had to have to live, suffer and have a harem to justify it. That was what he had said to the chieftain of Al-Qaida. And, the Arab understood him. So, Mike could not die and not to suffer. He volunteered to help the girls and he had to follow his way. But, then there was another temptation. To suffer and get the immunity and then live an ordinary life not working much and contemplating how the vaccinated girls who had slept with the other boys and betrayed Mike would live on their own. That would have been Mike’s vengeance. It was a strong temptation and even seemed to prevail over the charity. But, he was not alone who knew he felt that way. On that point the KGB had its natural cure.
‘You know what will happen to you if you fail and let us down?’ the officer asked.
‘Yes, I know,’ Mike said.
‘And, what you plan because of that?’ the man asked again.
‘But, I will forbear and keep my promise,’ Mike said.
The officers laughed, ‘That is not enough, you should make the serious practical steps to continue what you have begun.’
It did not mean that the intelligence office would kill Mike if could not become a good writer because it was a heavy task and his themes were specific. But, it meant that Mike should work as much as he just could to financially justify the program. Still, Mike knew that he could not play tricks.

Telepathy

Inna persuaded Mike to share with her the gift of telepathy for her to know what the people think about her. She said she needed it to know what would happen if she refused to marry Mike. Mike explained her how to have a possibility to hear the voices of the people’s thoughts. He did not know what she heard but she came to Mike house and fell on her knees. It was not hysterics but a deeply sensed wail.
‘Please do not leave me, please do not leave me,’ she cried very loud.
Mike did not know if it was just telepathy and imagination or somebody really had a serious talk with her.

Apparatus

When Mike happened to be in KGB he said that Inna wanted to turn a telepathic for some time like Mike himself. It was for her to know what the other people would think about her in her intention not to marry Mike and be in his harem but to live with the other boy.
‘They say you’ve got an apparatus that can transmit the thoughts on the brain waves to a distance. Could you switch your apparatus on to say something to her that would disapprove her decision not to marry me. Due I paid for her already. And, she was vaccinated with my blood and got healed. Would your operator say something that would make her become more conscientious.’ Mike asked.
‘We will make our operator to say her a pair of good words to repent of her desire not to marry you while she was paid. We’ve got an operator and we will switch our apparatus on.’ The officers assured.
When Inna fell on her knees near the house of Mike and wailed to demand Mike not to leave her alone, she cried, ‘They said they would kidnap me and tie up to a bed in a special laboratory and make me forbear to prepare the vaccines. Please, say them I just joked.’
Mike himself was a bit afraid of the effect of the telepathy seance.


In the spirit of Stalin

Once the KGB officers asked what Mike would do as a future president.
‘Will you act in the spirit of Stalin and punish those that caught the fish in the muddy water during the time of the national trouble?’ an officer demanded.
It was a natural question. The post reform stability always punishes the revolutionists for their shady affairs of the quick enrichment in the detriment of the rest of the society.
‘I will punish such people but only on a case by case basis and according to the law,’ Mike promised.
‘But, the law is as the yoke pole, it goes the way you turn it,’ the officer expressed himself with the Russian proverb.
Mike knew it meant that he should punish the enemies of the nation and regime that sapped the belief of the people in the equitability of the State power.
‘Yea, I will punish those who are dangerous and cannot be brought to the justice by the ordinary means taking avail of the special operations based on the provocation of crime. I will involve into that process even the police.’ Mike said.
‘Easy, easy. You be careful with the involvement of the police into our affairs.’ The officer warned.
‘I meant only when it is justified and sanctioned by the intelligence officer,’ Mike explained.
‘If it will be this way, I wish you should be successful,’ the officer said.

Repentance

When Mike had sex with the Italian girl he did it on the street as had been arranged with the KGB officers. In a moment, she wanted to stop it and Mike poked her a pair of times with a souvenir knife he threatened her with. Then, Mike was very much repenting for that. He knew the girl was sick and he wanted to compensate her for that. In the KGB office, he offered for the officers to make the photos of him with the lips painted over with the lipstick and a half piece of a rubber dick on a plank against his ass for it to look like it was in Mike’s ass. He also offered for a small wooden panel to be hung over his chest with the inscription of ‘Let away’ instead of ‘Let down’ in Russian which would mean ‘let away’ instead of ‘lowered’ that is ‘dishonored’.
‘Why you need it,’ the KGB officer asked.
Mike explained that he was afraid that the girl might commit a suicide or something like that.
‘That is her problem,’ the officer just said.
Mike kept mum for some time then said, ‘Let’s make it that way. When I’ll be the president and we will make the special operations against the drug dealers and other criminals and the society will murmur to it you will let some people to get access to these photos. They will print them in the papers and show on TV. The foreign experts will make a conclusion that it is not the narcotic drugs but the ordinary sedatives. I will make a confession about that to nation and the people will unite around me to continue the struggle.’ Mike proposed.
The officer smiled gladly, ‘It is possible to make politics with you.’
Still, the officer refused to participate in it and they offered to a pair of the officers about whom it was known that they had the homosexual liaisons in the past to make such photos. The last substituted the former KGB officers as Mike’s superintendents. On one of the days, he was called to the KGB.
‘We should collect the compromising materials against you to control you in the future. You know, for example, in our department of the KGB they only take those that had been lowered in the past. At least if it happened between the friends on the mutual agreement,’ they said.
‘But what if I just have sex with some adult women and you photo it,’ Mike offered to seem stupid.
The officers laughed, ‘That costs too much to have such a compromising material. We better feed you with the sedative medicines and paint your lips with the lipstick and put on your chest a small wooden panel with the word ‘Let away’ instead of ‘Let down’. Then we will put on your ass a plank with the half piece of a rubber dick for it to look like it is in your ass. The Italian will not understand it the proper way. And, we will send the photos to the parents of that girl also.’
‘Ok,’ Mike agreed.
Some time later when Mike went out of the school to go home the officers stopped him on the corner of the school building. They gave him the pills with the sedatives and painted big lips with the red lipstick. Then, they offered to put on Mike’s derriere the plank with the piece of a rubber dick. Mike put it on without taking off his trousers. Then, they put on his chest the small wooden panel with the inscription ‘let away’. Mike made an expression of the countenance like he was under the influence of a drug. They photographed Mike with smiles, jocular comments and laughs.
Next day the girls laughed in the classroom while Mike stood up for an answer on a question about the topic of the lesson, ‘Now, we know why you like the anal sex.’
‘Do not say the stupid things,’ the teacher Helen said, ‘the uncles just joked.’



Eternal life

For Michael, the idea of eternal life was a simple one. He knew he would be clonned after his death. It would be morally justified because he would have a good immunity and a sick woman could bear no child but Michael. Mike even knew the second name of his new family – Longcasto. He also knew his future fatherland – Argentine. All was arranged already in the early childhood by a meeting with a foreigner near the restaurant.
Mike knew it would be a business because he ought to clon all his wives and parents then. So, he would suffer and forbear not till twenty-seven as in his first live but till thirty.
The second dream of Mike was to become the step-father to Jesus Christ when the scientists would know how to clon the dead by the genealogical chains in the genes of DNA.
Thus, the eternal life was real for Mike and he felt responsible about it.

Prophecy

Michael’s head was always filled with some scientific problems due to the presence of a special educating book for children in his life. Mike tried to overcome new and new obstacles in his thinking over scientific stuff. Once, he heard about the Pacific Ocean oscillation. The rains coming jumped from place to place, from Indonesia to Peru, the temperature and the intensity of the winds also changed from one direction to another one year or the other one. It influenced the climate of the whole world. For Mike it was clear that the phenomenon developed during epochs. He realized it should end one day because it intensified each year when the balance changed more and more. Mike imagined what it was like and he saw a plate that was put on the table the wrong way upside down. It began to wave along its center on the table, the amplitude getting more and more and it almost stopped, then, after a second of the absence of any move, it would tremble frequently before a complete stop. That frequent moving would be the most dangerous for the humanity. How it should be in Pacific Ocean oscillation? For some time the phenomenon would stop to be observed any more. But then a short period of heavy winds, hurricanes, tornado, droughts would follow.
Mike decided to build a house with the firm glass in the windows and strong walls. He could see in his future that in his native town that last period in the existence of the Pacific Ocean oscillation would end with a hurricane. To know the date was hard by calculations. So, he decided to act as a prophet. To view his future children and by their age from the date where they would be born to say the date of the hurricane. To know the definite date he could only by a ‘deja vu’ in the future of what he saw in his dreams of the past when he saw the way it would be. Also, it was necessary that his children should get occupied with meteorology and had the relevant equipment.


Cancer

That is a story about Aunt Rose. There is a custom in Russia for the kids to call the adults as uncles and aunts even if they are no relatives at all. Aunt Rose was the mom of Mike’s friend John whose dad was a surgeon and had a good repute as such. It was when Mike was about thirteen. At that time he had just read the gospel written by Mathew and was full of the ideas of God and His Christ. He tried to switch the matter on the rails of the Muslim mentality owing Aunt Rose was a Tartar and should have belonged to the Islam by that. Mike said something about Allah and that He could heal and make divine miracles. Aunt Rose got indignant.
‘You better do not say all that nonsense about the divine healing and miracles. There is no use to pray to Allah or Christ any way you name that. If you’ll have a sickness you’ll apply to my husband and he’ll heal you by an operation. Or else, some other specialist will help you, but not Allah. You better do not speak about that. You should have enough sound sense to understand that.’ Aunt Rose said.
Mike did not answer anything in that he knew from the earlier experience of his life that it would be no use.
A pair of the years had passed and Aunt Rose was diagnosed to have the sarcoma in her lungs. She withered away during a month. Her own husband made her the operation but she died all the same.

Photo

Mike heard that somebody sold the pornographic photos in the room for boys of the school. Mike got interested in it. When he got into the room there was already a lot of the prospective buyers. Mike also tried to look at the goods.
‘Have you got the money really, or you just want to look at from the curiosity,’ the seller asked hiding the photos.
‘I’ve got the money really,’ Mike cheated.
The clandestine atmosphere ruled on the place. The boy turned over the photo for Mike to look at. Here, Mike could easily see why the seller tried to bargain with the smaller boys. On the photo of the very bad quality could be seen a woman in the underwear with a hoe, photographed from behind. The stuff hardly might be considered the erotic, not to say pornographic.
‘You’re gonna buy?’ the elder schoolboy asked.
‘I’ll think over,’ Mike promised.
‘Think faster, or I can sell the goods to somebody else,’ the dealer said.
Mike nodded with the false earnestness and hurried to get away from the place. Once more in the life, his anticipations were deceived.


Presentation

The Siberian winter ruled all over the city. The dad dropped into the flat and told that Mike should be clothed up for a trip to some place. He said it was very important. Mike did not anticipate much of luck because usually even some articles cut out of a paper was important business in the eye of his father as an educator. So, Mike got prepared for a trip. They came out the house and went on the pressed winter snow. The dad had the summer shoes instead of the regular winter boots. It was his way of asceticism to compensate for much of expenditures on booze and womanizing, the new life of a businessman allowed for him. They went uptown as far as the hotel that was almost at the end of the city. They entered the glass doors of the building and went upstairs to get into a room where a Muscovite waited for them.
‘Be acquainted with that man Mike. That’s Vladimir from Moscow, my companion. He will be occupied with your study in the Moscow State Institute of International Relations.’ The dad announced.
‘Hello, My name is Max.’ Mike said being critical to the news on account of a sharp contrast between Moscow State Institute of International Affairs and summer shoes worn in winter.
‘Good a boy,’ the man commented.
Mike did not study in the MSIIR as a student after the school. So, only his dad knew why he needed all that presentation.


Wedding money

Mike’s brother Nick was the son of another man. They had only a common mother. Nick was brought up by the stepfather, Mike’s father Jack. His own dad Antonio only paid the alimony working somewhere up North.
The day when Nick married a woman came. Jack was on the float and had enough money to make a good wedding party. A lot of guests, booze and a big hall. Toni was also invited to the wedding party, but, of course, he did not sit in the head of the table. That place was occupied by Jack. For Mike’s mom Anastasia it was a good day to show she had made a right thing to leave Toni to his booze alone. It was a kind of show up. Jack himself had been brought up by a stepfather John and saw his real dad only when the last was on the dying bed. So, Jack simply paid his debts to the nature. Toni drank much and when the August darkness came he met Mike on the balcony of the hotel where the wedding party was organized and talked much on his ideas of what his life was like and that he had a small boy born of another woman and all like that. Finally, he gave to Mike a five thousand rubles banknote, a big sum of money for that time, and asked Mike to transfer it privately to Nick that nobody saw it. Mike did not understand the idea of the drunk man completely but he took the banknote and laid it into the chest pocket of his shirt. But, the next day he did not find his brother Nick very long in that it was a kind of wedding night. So, he gave the money to his mom Anastasia that she should pass the banknote on to Nick. But, then came the time of wedding pancakes when the pancakes cooked by the young couple were sold to the guests for the money, for as much as everybody counted right. The money was put on a tray, so it was an open gift. When the turn came to Toni it turned out that he had no money on himself. So, it was an hour of shame for him. He said he did not remember how he had disposed of his money. Thus, he confirmed the reputation of an alcoholic that did not have the good count of his money. The same night a friend of Nick had got so intoxicated by the booze that he began to throw down from the balcony the banknotes to the boys that hang on the hotel yard. He had to leave the wedding ceremony of two days feast in shame, because he had nothing to offer for the pancakes. That is why, the relatives of Toni, his sister, niece and mother thought that Toni being very drunk the previous night played the same trick. Mike felt himself uneasy. He did not deliver the banknote right to Nick, and apprehended that his mom Anastasia might embezzle it in the sense that she would not say whom the money had been paid by. So, Mike had a kind of remorse, but it was a good lesson for Toni, after some time he quit drinking. Maybe, it is necessary to pay for the good lessons. Anyhow, it was an intrigue on the part of his mom to whom Mike had given the money and explained whom it had been granted by.

Persuasion

Mike was the witness of that scene. Nick’s judo and mountain climbing coach Alexander stood leaning on the door of the car. Jack and Nick talked to him and tried to persuade him to become a gangster and get into the group of Plasterer.
‘Whether you want to play a kid and go to the mountains the rest of your life. It’s the time to turn serious. You can lose a chance. You’ve no money, family or property. We just take care of you, Alex.’ Nick said.
‘I want to live the life I like and am accustomed to. I do not want to change anything.’ Alexander answered.
They talked more but without any agreement, then they parted.


Gangsters

That is a story about gangsters. To be closer to the verity, about a gangster war.
There was a gang in Shushenskoe, the home town of Michael, and his brother Nick got into it as a member after he had returned from the army and had unsuccessfully tried to make business on his own. Plasterer as was the nickname of the head of the gang had also the influence in the regional capital Krasnoyarsk, which had almost a million of residents.
The conflict with a Muscovite group from the Ismaylovo suburb of Moscow started because of the Krasnoyarsk aluminum plant. Its director united his interests with the local gangsters and decided not to accept the results of the privatization of the aluminum plant according to which all the aluminum industry of Russia would be controlled by the brothers Chernoj. The isolation of the Krasnoyarsk aluminum plant would have been a bad example in the eyes of the federal authorities, so they gave the licenses to the Ismaylovo gangsters to kill the local criminal bosses in Krasnoyarsk. The machineguns began to shoot. First, Plasterer got into a trap. He ordered the death of his former assistant Bull, who had played a renegade along with a part of the local young gangsters for the sake of the brothers Chernoj. He ordered him with Ismaylovo gangsters. But, they machine-gunned him instead on an appointment after Bull paid a better price sponsored by the brothers Chernoj. Plasterer was killed along with his driver, after the killers fired to him with the machineguns and threw a grenade. His wife also was wounded into the leg. Only, the gangster Jack, his bodyguard was deft enough to show the resistance and murder and wound some among the attackers as some alleged afterwards.
Second was Interpreter, the looker of Krasnoyarsk as was the word for the criminal superintendent, the old thief, who had come through jails and prison camps. He was the umpire in all the conflicts of the mob in the city and his word was a law. He was wounded into a belly and put into a hospital. Jack and Banana, from the gang of defunct Plasterer visited him. Jack dropped a gun on the floor by a mistake and it shot. He himself, a fair-haired young man, who never looked like a gangster, hid behind the door. But, the skinhead Banana got the full anger of the policemen who ran from the corridor.
Then, the gangsters with the machineguns arrived to Shushenskoe and went in a chain to look for Shaggy, a friend of Plasterer. He escaped the death after it all went stale, the same as Jack, Banana and others.
As for Nick, Mike’s brother, he began to talk about the vendetta for the death of Plasterer. But, the dad persuaded him to think better of it.
‘Leave it to Shaggy to revenge for him. Plasterer built a house for him. But, what you’ve got, except that you invested into the common business your own money because they had asked you to do it. What you’ve got from him to put yourself under the bullets?’ The dad reasoned.
His words had the effect and the dad called for his partner in Moscow. He was to get in touch with the thieves who roofed their business to have a talk with the Ismaylovo brigade to the effect that the war is over and the young gangsters from the province should be spared provided they would not revenge.
Mike himself read in a paper that in Krasnoyarsk there was a local battle with gunfire of machineguns and explosions of the grenades. Even a stray bullet incidentally killed an old woman. Still, the battle local by its military classification was not local by its importance for the situation in Krasnoyarsk and region. It was all Mike knew except for what Nick told to the dad. Then, he heard some things, the other he read in the newspapers, including a foreign magazine.


The order of Saint Michael

When Mike was in KGB for almost the last time they said to him that the foreign governments were especially worried with the order of Saint Michael, the organization that united the special forces detachments of many capitalist countries. It was said that they had close relations with the gangsters and blackmailed the foreign governments and big business for very big sums of money that were involved in cash-out financial schemes of very big companies. It was impossible to judge them in the court because it would not be an independent justice and the judges and other ordinary policemen did not want to get in conflict with that organization. They said that they wanted to rape Benedicta, the Italian girl whom Mike loved much. Thus, it was a personal affair for Mike also. They promised Mike that if he would help the foreign governments with that problem, then they would not revenge him that he had participated in the preparation of the terrorist acts of Al-Qaida. And, it meant also the merits before the States, which equaled the money. It was arranged that the first gun Mike would get from his classmate, a girl and daughter of a police officer, the weapon given her by her father as for a self defense against the threatened rape. A pair of guns he would get from the foreign schoolboys that would bring them to the school in the cut out places in the books from abroad. Then, he should act on his own and provide for the weapons and cartridges himself. He should take hostage the other adolescents that would take part in the international competition in physics. It was also arranged that the cocaine cigarettes would be on the foreign boys that would carry them through the custom house. The foreign special forces detachments would be nearby on the military exercise in Russia.
As well as Mike recalled it afterwards. The events developed as follows. When he met a pair of women, the journalists who made reportage from the international physics competition, he told that he was going to cancel the order of Saint Michael by killing its knights because according to its constituting rules only the death could stop the membership of a knight in that organization. The journalists reacted at that with mute irritation because they thought it was not serious. When in the school the foreign boys smoked cocaine and asked if Mike agreed to make the dishonorable pictures for Benedicta whom they said he raped under the barrel of a gun. Mike long demanded for the boys not to smoke because it should look as a nervous breakdown. But, then he began to act. He took the gun from Nadine and promised that nobody would rape her. Then, he beat the foreign boys and took the guns from them. When there was the parade for the international physic competition Mike took the schoolboys and schoolgirls as hostages. Then, there was the mixture of dream and reality when Mike recalled it after about ten years. He knew only that he smoked much of cocaine for the doping the same like it had been with the Tadjik gangsters in the kindergarten. Afterwards, he even doubted if he had committed it at all. So much it looked like a dream. And, it was a serious doubt because many times after that Mike was sure that he had killed some people but it turned out to be impossible practically because then he was sick and under the influence of strong psychiatric medicines. All Mike recalled as a prove of that he killed the knights of Saint Michael and redeemed his guilt before the Western world for his inspiration of the Al-Qaida acts was the scene when he met Nadine. She asked him why there were the golden leaves in the school park if Mike said it was the spring. Mike said it was because they stayed over the winter in that they did not collect them in the last fall. He did not remember the events of a summer and he recalled that he was in a kind of coma then. Maybe it was because of too much cocaine. Then, his dad asked what the girls in the school said about an international competition in physics, which Mike had won they said. It was because if the policemen killed or for some other reason, for example to be a kind of pledge, his parents should be in a voyage in the Europe which had been promised to Mike’s parents if he won the international physic competition. Still, by the stuff Mike recalled after so many years he knew that he kept the gunfire for more than one day and most probably killed many Saint Michael order knights.
Why Mike was deft in shooting? His dad had shown to him the shooting techniques on a real gun that a gangster had given to Mike for his father to pass it to KGB. Then, they had done a machinegun from the wood and Mike was trained to handle the machinegun also when the painted details of the machinegun substituted the real ones. After all, the cocaine doping had carried the day. As usual Mike smoked in his way when there was no nausea and smoke left.

Literary project

‘You are in a situation like in the chess when any move does not prevent the mate. After that deal of yours with the Arab they will hardly have any deal with you,’ one of the KGB officers said to Mike.
But after Mike took part in the extermination of the Saint Michael order knights, there was another talk.
‘So, you’ve done them and now want to charge them on the money?’ he laughed.
‘It was no profit for me to begin that,’ Mike said. ‘I would never do it if it was not to solve the interior problem of the American they could not solve themselves. They vaccinated the personnel of the World Trade Center and the international affairs department of Pentagon. I knew it from some sure people. So, they can become dangerous for the USA society themselves. They can infect the other people and die themselves in much pain. I did it only because of that. The same as the Arab from Al-Qaida that were the part of CIA. I know that I would get more money if I did not participate in that. But, these people were aggressive and they provoked me becoming my personal enemies. I mean the personal of the World Trade Center. It’s because they used the vaccines for their self security which cost the life and health to the other American citizens, mainly soldiers. They chose not to forbear of sex or fast otherwise, but to die. That is why they were against my idea of a harem and survival. They knew they would die and they wanted to make the money on their lives. That is why they did not want to compensate me for my inventions. It was first the business, secondly the judgement, thirdly the attempt to solve the interior problems of USA it itself cannot solve. So, CIA will even be grateful to me. Though, they will not say that. And, I just prevented a situation when they would say to me that I gave my blood to some people and they infected the whole society. I was afraid of that accuse much more. Them the guys from the World Trade Center want to pass the buck on me that way. I will never accept that.
For me to write the books is the only way to be compensated for what I have done for the USA economy. I am not the enemy of USA, and in reality I am not the enemy of the Wall Street. I am namely the enemy of the definite number of persons that used the vaccines that cost the lives to many not to survive but to die and contaminate the other people that did not participate in that or have any personal benefits. I could happen only in the country of big money and big private orders for such things as the vaccines. Really, they had more fun and sexual relations not fearing to get infected by the ordinary sicknesses having the immunity the other people earned in much anguish. I bet there will be the self regulation rule that the personnel of the World Trade Center should be vaccinated before the start of the job even till the days the twin towers will fall down. So, I’m not the enemy of the USA society, business and government. I simply helped them to solve their problems they themselves could not solve. You simply do not interfere with their future affairs in Iraq and Afghanistan because they will solve the same problems as you in Chechnya. The Iraqi need the war the same as the Chechen for the sick to die because they asked for the vaccines on a large scale level and did the same dirty job as the Chechen for you. So, I committed the necessary evil against the guilty people to prevent a much bigger and heavier damage. I bet the CIA will know all about the terrorist acts planned by the Al-Qaida and not interfere.’ Mike expressed his views.
‘It seems you know much,’ the officer commented, ‘I should wish you the success in your writing. Only you should write the truth.’

Ganja

Finally, there arose the question how for Mike to go crazy after he would begin to forbear of sex and make him continue to fast.
‘What if they will pour into my tea the synthetic testosterone?’ Mike said.
‘That’s tough,’ the officer said, ‘but it is not enough. After there will be too much of the testosterone in your blood it will naturally drop. What you need is a lot of ganja. That will really make you crazy. The same way as you smoked opium and cocaine you should smoke the ganja for an affair.’
Mike did not remember he had smoked the cocaine but he nodded. And, a plan to use the doping for a purpose was conceived.

The way of Jesus

In the KGB, Mike raised the question of how to punish a boy that would terrorize him before he would go crazy.
‘But, whether it is not specially allowed for you to go crazy?’ the officer asked.
‘It’s like in the gospel. Jesus said about Judas that the Son of man goes by his way but woe is to that one who will betray him. It’s the same for that guy.’ Mike made the argumentation.
The officer smiled with much interest, ‘You say the Jesus goes by his way but woe to that one who will cause him harm?’
‘Yea,’ Mike confirmed.
‘Never heard about it. It’s necessary to read the gospel…Ok, we will think about that.’ Was the end of the conversation.


Timeout

Mike was involved into the politics very actively from very early in his life but it was sure that he should withdraw for rather big time from all these affairs to study for a profession and pass over his sexual forbearance and the sickness resulting of it.
‘Boy, you’ve determined the main events of our politics for at least twenty years. Now, you may take a timeout and solve your personal problems before we take you into the affairs again.’ That was what they said to him in the KGB office.



Elli

Elli was a girl that lived nearby in the village where Mike’s brother Nick had bought a country house. Elli also was from the city. However, she had few chances to get back into the city. Her dad died three or four years ago. Her mom divorced with her new city husband and got a small country house as a ransom for her husband’s freedom of her and her numerate children including her last husband’s own daughter. All in all, Her mom nicknamed the Conductor due she had told everybody she was a piano teacher, had five children, first son gotten in her young days, a girl and two boys from her defunct second last husband, and a baby girl from the man she had just divorced. For some time, Elli was for the mistress of the small house because her mom got some business to get wound up in the city. She was fourteen, or fifteen. The same age as Mike himself was. Neighborhood is neighborhood, so Mike decided to woo Elli. She often visited Mike’s home for some neighborhood business and was a sure acquaintance of Mike. The only girl he knew in the village, a newcomer herself.
Elli was a poor girl. Though, she was pretty and had a Tartar ancestry by her defunct dad. Her mom surely had some Southern blood. So, Elli could be called a beauty. And, Mike decided to make friends with her.
One day he called her for a fisher trip to the river. He kind of lent his coat to her, as the beaus usually do when want to show their intentions. The fish did not bite. And, really Mike did not take care for them. He took only one rod. Elli tried her chance with the fish.
Mike knew their romance was a disproportionate affair. However, he had honest intentions. Simply, he could not help it taking after Elli.
After Mike got home when the date was over, his mom and her girlfriend namesake Anastasia, a Pentecostal Christian or then she was yet a Witness of Jehovah, upbraided Mike of his initiative with Elli.
‘What do you want, Mike. To play with the girl and then give her a slip. Whether you want to spoil the girl’s life,’ rebuked the mom’s girlfriend Anastasia on Mike’s mom behalf.
Mike did not want to spoil the life to Elli. He would let it all to the honest proof of the life itself to show if he would have made Elli’s life worse if he had taken after her.
Then, Mike did not communicate much with Elli. She got into the village school. After some time, they said she did drink liquor with the local married men and had sex with them. Once, Mike saw her real drunk.
After this, Mike became a believer consciously and even before it he prayed much for Elli before the God. When, he met her about ten years later, when he visited the village along with his wife Julia, Elli had a small girl or a boy. She had a man that cursed much the same as Elli. She did not look bad, and even greeted Mike. Mike’s anxiety for her subsided. He knew Elli was not a lost life.

Neighbors’ labors

Mike’s brother Nick had a house in the village of Jeblakhty. Mike lived there in the vacation time or on the holidays. Once it happened a story. A family bought the small house near that where Mike lived. Left of his house. It was already known that the house was bought by some people from the city. And, Mike to render a friendly neighbor service decided to sow the potatoes in the land lot of the future neighbors. Thus, he made the land holes and threw there the potatoes and buried into about a forth of the acre of the soil. It was his credit of faith to the future neighbors.
The family from the city arrived to the village. The kind relations began to be knit over. The sons and daughters of the woman that arrived without her as yet, made something in the household of the Mike’s family and received some products in return. But, the time of the debt payment came. Now, it was necessary to dig up the ripe potatoes on Mike’s family land lot. And, the whole bunch of the neighbor got into the field with the buckets and a pitchfork. But, however they were many they were not able as they pretended or whether it was true, to dig up more than several rows of the potato bushes. Then, they quitted.
Mike was offended in his heart very much because any credit of faith presumes percents that should be worked off. Of course, it is harder to pick up the potatoes than to bury them but still Mike felt that they should have kept their word of contract in that they promised to dig up the whole lot of Mike’s family. Because to the credit of faith should be added the fact that Mike helped and really did it as a partner to the eldest son of the neighbors to hoe the potatoes. It was now a kind of common enterprise with the sharing of the profits according to the land shares. But, the neighbors made a breach of the contract agreement. As they say in Russia if you called yourself a mushroom get into the basket. So, Mike needed a penalty and satisfaction. When his elder brother Nick arrived with his wife Natalie to their house owned by the title of property, Mike as the governor of the household ordered them to dig up the potatoes in the land lot of neighbors. In this potato business Nick and his wife were no more than subordinates and could not resist what Mike said. Mike decided himself where the line of his part and share on the neighbor’s land lot should be. He left to the neighbors only enough to sow the potato next year. Plus what cost the work of them in digging the potatoes on Mike’s family land lot and the work of the elder brother in their partnership affair of hoeing the potato bushes in the same land lot. So, Mike felt like all scores were settled as for now. Next time, if there would be such a time, they would know how much the faith costs. But, a feud began. The small kids of the neighbors made the raids on the strawberry beds of Mike’s mom. The mother of the neighbors tore off the tomatoes that grew in her reach over a vertical wooden planks fence. The last blow was the collecting of the water melons on the green house of Mike’s mom. The tracks led to the fence between the two households and disappeared by a work of rake on the other side. They said like the eldest son of the neighbors collected all the water melons in the sacks and then they went to the bank of the river and ate them all throwing the left-over to the river.
Mike addressed his elder brother Nick who was a gangster at that time but the last said that he deemed it not possible to however settle the scores more, because like the guys were not the underground millionaires, other gangsters or anybody else who were in the shade and illegal and thus vulnerable to another outlaw threatening. Like it was all legal in that business of stealing the watermelons. If he had pushed he would have had the problems with the law. So, Mike oked and simply threatened himself to the neighbor and there supporters that if anything then he would revenge. Thus, the feud ended.
Then, many years afterwards Mike regretted all that teaching business of his. Whether he ever was hungry? Why he needed so much potatoes? Simply it was his sense of equitability. But, at that time of so many years later he was a Christian and to forgive the debts was his rule. He watched Elli and her daughter and regretted that he was so cruel with that family. But, he taught them equitability. But, whether equitability was in the asking of the debts? Jesus said that no. But, at that time Mike was young yet and he could not help being in a will to take back what he gave. But, where was the balance then and who should make the debts even? The God? Next time Mike would be wiser, anyway the God would return him what he has earned.

Fear

Michael constantly feared that his parents might divorce. In any quarrel, and his parents quarreled much, the question of the necessity of their divorce was discussed. It seemed that some little thing lacked to make a divorce come true.
The elder brother of Mike Nick had bought a house in a village at the distance of twenty miles from Shushenskoe. The house and its land lot were used for a dacha by the parents. They grew the hens over there.
Once, they arrived to the house on the car. What they saw was a bad spectacle. The watchdog Alpha had killed almost all the hens and had eaten a part of the cock. The guilt was on the part of the dad, who had tried to fix the chain of the dog on a wire and used a too thin wire, which had been torn by Alpha. A great quarrel started. Mike himself went to the land lot and sat down on the cow dung and straw foundation of the polyethylene greenhouse. For Mike, the matrimony of his parents was ended. Their marriage seemed not to be able to stand such a loss on account of the father’s lack of knowledge and mere sense in having fixed the chain the wrong way. Mike sat and already knew he was going to be a fatherless child due he would be left with the mom by the court. A sudden relaxation came over him. What should happen happened. All hope was gone. Mike was unhappy, but still a bit happy because he would be made wrong the inequitable way. He did not deserve it. It was not his fault. So, it was some source of comfort for his soul.
All in all, his parents did not divorce because of it, the same way as because of many other even more serious things. Some day when Mike was already a young man that fear went away. It was not because of the fact that he was adult already and it would be less damaging for him. It was because the talks about divorce somehow stopped to be heard between his parents.


Farmer

‘But, I thought Jack was a farmer. He had a tractor trailer.’ Said Walter, the carpenter who helped to end the construction of Mike’s parents’ house, when he expressed his astonishment at the view of the scraggy cow Martha possessed by Mike’s family.
Jack had not provided enough of the hay and other fodder for the cow. The more so, the hay was of a bad quality and the briquettes contained mostly the uneatable grasses. To make the cow eat the uneatable grass Jack came to all kinds of tricks. He poured the salted water on the briquettes or else strewed the ground wheat into the hay. Those tricks did not pay with the cow and she just threw the bad hay out of the manger and collected the ground wheat with her mouth.
After the winter the cow was as scraggy as just could be. To multiply her sorrows she had sick rear legs. So, one day in the beginning of the summer, she had to be brought to the veterinarian station because she could not visit the village herd that grazed in the fields. Mike and his mother Anastasia led the cow along the street of the village of Jeblakhty. The old women that talked on the benches stopped their conversations and looked at the sight of a cow that seemed to pass the winter in a concentration camp.
When they got to the veterinarian station the cow doctor, a woman, asked, ‘Where’ve you kept your cow?’
Indeed, she might see such a lean cow for the first time in her life. The mom said she was just sick. The cow doctor began to make an infusion to the cow and poked a needle of the infusion system into the cow’s vein on the neck to infuse the solution of salt. During the procedure, the cow lost her conscience and hang on the spars of the small corral where she had been led and tied to the pillar. Then, they recalled that story with the humor but also with a feeling of shame.


Julia

As the things stood really, Julia was Mike’s first love after he had become a youngster. He met her in the school hall on the first floor. She was with another interesting girl named Anastasia. The last was a sports girl, played basketball and volleyball. That’s why was the school’s peculiarity. Julia herself was this day in a Chinese sport suit. The liberal times had come into the school, so it was permitted to wear a sport suit on the days when there was a physical culture course. Julia herself had quite a body. She visited the folklore dance club as Mike found out many years after. And, nothing makes a body of a girl more attractive than strong legs and broad hips. But, now it was all hid under the free cut of the deep blue sport suit. However, it could be well discerned. The bosom just begins on the average to show itself in such an age. She was thirteen and not fourteen as Mike presumed. Which was got to know later. Now, Mike reckoned for a romance. He was fifteen, in an age when the boys begin to take care of their male status. So, Mike wanted to get a girl of his own. The example of his elder brother, however, drove Mike to think of a prospective marriage with Julia. Common study in the college and so on.
Julia surely had Jewish blood in her veins. It made her attractive. They say that Russian women are counted very beautiful among Southern people. But, for the Russian boys the Southern blood in a girl surely makes her more pretty.
Julia had a Greek nose and big eyes. She definitely was a Southern girl. Though, her countenance was not dark. She was rather light.
Mike did not take notice of all this specialties, simply he pleased her. Thus, Mike decided to make friends with her. But, first it was necessary to make artillery preparation at home. Mike got choosy in all his affairs and showed his displeasure he was not counted for a man with the full meaning of it.
‘I gotta have a girlfriend. I’m old enough for it,’ Mike said once.
The mom took measures for it. She invited Mike to her elder son Nick’s house. Nick and his wife Natalie lay on a broad family bed and Mike got a lecture on what was what in his prospective life.
‘You gotta stay patient for a while and then get a girlfriend already in the law school. It’s very good to be of the same profession for the future spouses. And, if you take a girl here in our town how do you know where she would go for the studies after the school, to Krasnoyarsk or Abakan? Then, you could ‘ave been parted and you would leave the girl. It woulda be hard to keep the relations living in different cities.’ That was what Natalie and Nick opinioned commonly on Mike’s pretences for a romance.
The mom just sat near the bed where the couple couched to back up silently their words. Mike knew it was the voice of the reason. That’s why Julia turned sour grapes for him. Suddenly, he found out that her chin was too small. It’s common for the beautiful girls to have the lower jaw a bit smaller than the upper. But, Mike turned grouchy in his views as a captious cattle breeder that had not enough money, so the heifer turned too bad for his corral. For the rest of Mike’s school days all his feelings were doomed to stay just platonic.
Once, Mike even had a kind of verbal scrap with Julia and her girlfriend Anastasia. Max, Mike’s friend helped to provoke it after he understood Mike fell in love with Julia. Mike knew it would be hard for him to get Julia in his whole life. So, he wanted to test out whether she was able to wait and forgive or not. It was a kind of an obscene joke that started the backlash of bad talk. Mike knew Julia was not the kind of the girl to hope for a happy end with. The back talk involved prospective adulteration and a claimed right to have a lover plus the husband. Mike knew now the girl was really a black cat. That’s why he discarded her from position of the girl of his dreams.

Piglets

When Mike was fifteen years old he got quite an interest in the agriculture. It was almost the only way for him to realize himself and show he was able to bring the profit to the family. For him it should be considered as a token that he would be a good husband in the future and thus he might hope for a better girl.
There was a sow in their household, she got pregnant and Mike took the piglets she delivered from her womb. Mike took a special care for those eleven piglets. He read the relevant literature and did all things about the care for them on the scientific grounds. They lived through the first days of their lives and it seemed that nothing threatened them now.
Still, there came a complete loss of the whole affair. His dad was obstinate and did not accept the idea of Mike’s constant propaganda that the ground old wheat eaten by the mould was a bad food for the tender piglets. He did not buy the necessary fresh oats and the piglets died, even those that had been already sold to the other people. For Mike it was an example of the arbitrariness of the other people. He felt bad he depended of the other people like his own father and they were but the petty tyrants. It was as though he felt it foreboded his own disaster when he would be lost like those piglets because of the lack of the care and attention when the deficiency of the parental help would make him lose his chances of the youth, good girls and romance due to the absence of the money.


Fishing trips

When Mike lived in the village he often came on a motorbike to fish in the nearby lakes. It was the lakes formed by the river that had changed its bed long ago. Formerly, the river’s channel had been in the places where the lakes now were. There were about seven such lakes around the village at the distance of from two to six miles. Each year the biological cycle of the lakes changed. In some of them the fish suffocated in the winter when the thick ice did not let the oxygen to penetrate into the water, in some the fish were just scarce. So, it was necessary to come by motorbike to try the chances in each of them to find a good bite. The last year before the university Mike would catch a full bucket of fish each day when he would come. He chose the day when there was a soft wind that should chase off the mosquitoes. Then, early in the morning he would take his motorbike out of the garage and ride to the lake crossing the river on the ferry. After he got to the lake he had the fishing in an almost industrial way. All the time, he just pulled the fish out of the water. One after one, God be blessed.
But, there were the years when the bite of the fish was not so intensive and Mike passed two or three hours just to catch four or five fish. Mostly, it was crucians, but also tenches. At those hours, Mike sat and looked upon the water and the float. Aquatic plants and pieces of wood of different sizes kept on the surface of the lake. All the things around were calm and the feeling of serenity ruled over Mike’s heart. At such moments, it seemed to Mike that all his future should be calm and peaceful the same way. No troubles loomed ahead as it might be inferred from that sure sense of happiness that lived in Mike’s heart. Nothing menaced to the steady go of life the way Mike felt his fate. Then, when Mike was sick he wondered at how superfluously self-assured he had been.

The fish that got off the hook

Mike fished on the river with his pal Serge. It was the morning of a summer day that promised to be sunny and warm by the token of the absence of the clouds on the sky. Mike kept his fishing rod in the water occasionally changing the bait. They talked with Serge in half a voice about some unimportant everyday matters. Suddenly, Mike saw how the float that hung over the surface of the water to show the bite on the river began to get shaken in a fast way by short and frequent moves. Mike grabbed the fishing rod from the cut in the midst willow saplings that held it above the water. He made a strong and fast move to get the fish deeper on the hook. By the resistance, Mike knew it was a big fish, surely a beam by the way it had bit. When the silver fish appeared from the water, Mike lost the control of his emotions and could not follow the fishing techniques loudly advised by Serge, the ones he knew himself from the fishing books and journals. Instead of slowly pulling the fish by the water, he lifted it high above the surface. In half a meter from the bank, the fish tore the line and fell into the water. Serge lowered the landing net into the water the time the fish still kept on the surface inebriated by the swallow of the air.
‘I got it!’ Serge cried.
Mike hoped with much of hazard that the fish was in the landing net. But, when Serge pulled it out of the muddy water only a lump of dirt lay in there. Mike felt a chance of years to elude from his hands. He felt a pain in his heart. Serge rebuked him for his impatience. Mike himself regretted it very much. It would have been a trophy to tell the people about. Such one as they wrote about in the fishing journals.
That morning he caught a good fish as a consoling prize. Still, the bitterness was intensive. The mom who came to the river to look what were Mike’s affairs told he had the bluish lips and pale face. Mike felt pain and as it is always with the people he chose to declare guilty another man. He got to a conclusion of the wrong deductions that it was Serge who was guilty of that loss. He could have caught the beam if he had had enough courage to step into the water and get a better try with the landing net. However, at the time when the fishing was about to end Mike found enough forces to acknowledge that he himself was guilty of that lost trophy.

Guilty

It was a day full of tire. Mike had just arrived home from the fishing trip and put the motorbike into the garage. Then, he entered the gates of the yard. He saw his dog Gray to sit down on his small carpet in the summerhouse, looking out the window. It was the place where he would get when guilty of some mischief not to be beaten for it. It was a sort of haven for the dog. Now, he sat there looking at Mike from the window. Mike called him. He did not move. Mike felt some apprehensions. He looked at the place where the net box with the dried fish should have been hung to the ceiling of the penthouse. He saw it lying on the ground, most of the fish was eaten up by the dog. Mike would get in rage but the repentance of the dog softened his heart. He took the net box, mended it and hung it up again to the ceiling of the penthouse. The dog reached the net box with the fish because the mom had put a table right beneath it. So, the mom was partly guilty of the damage also. Mike felt pity. He recalled how hard it was to prepare the fish to be jerked. Still, the feeling of the responsibility, which the dog had, did disarm. That is why, he even invited Gray to come out of the summerhouse to drink the water from the barrel instead of beating him. The dog needed it because the fish was very salty.

Pierced heart

It was May. Mike and his father put on the fire the last year dry grass in the hay field. Mike was under the influence of the strong drugs, so he ignited almost the whole field at once and after some time they had to extinguish the flame coming into the birch forest. Mike’s movements were slower than usually and he was not so attentive as it could have been had he not been under the inebriating influence of the psychiatric medicines. That is why, it is no wonder that his trousers got on the fire above the boot of the right leg. He tried to extinguish the flame with his right hand but unsuccessfully. So, he had to lie on the ground and roll over on the land to get the flame off the trousers. He beat off the flame but his leg was scorched by the open flame.
In the policlinic, the old and experienced nurse said that it would last for a pair of months before his wound would be cured. Thus, Mike lost a chance to come to the taiga with a group of the rich foreign hunters from Norway and finally got into the hospital because his wound did not get cured. There he met Walter, the man his family had hired for the carpenter works during the time the family had built the house. They began to talk about what had brought Walter into the hospital.
‘I’ve got a knife into the heart,’ he said. ‘You know how sharp I hone the knives. The surgeon said that if the blade had come an inch aside it would have cut the aorta.’
‘Somebody stabbed you?’ Mike asked.
‘No, I was drunken and tried to pull the knife out of the hands of my wife, she let it go and I myself stabbed it into my heart. Just imagine what the police would think if I died and could not give the affidavit I was guilty myself. Today, they also called her into the police to verify the facts.’ Walter told.
Then, a pair of years afterwards, Mike correlated the facts from his memory and recalled what happened once when Walter had worked in their house still. Mike, after he had listened to a song when the singer had sung that he would like to get a knife into his heart, had asked Walter jocularly if he would like to get a knife into his heart. Walter had said that he would like to get a knife from the woman he would love only that she would miss his heart an inch. Mike got another prove that the word was material. The human being works on electricity, magnetism and gravitation. Its words also should be filled with such an essence. That is why, the words influence the time and space continuum and thus determine the future. It is a source of curse and blessing. The words, acts, feelings and mutual agreements of the past are reflected in the dreams in which the future is seen. That way our back-conscience is defined. We act and say something in the present tense being determined and influenced by what we said and did in the past. It brings about the idea that all the events and acts of the people are influenced by the natural physical rule of balance and we are the part of the physical world. That is why the life should be equitable in the long term by the definition. On these arguments, Mike based his hope that his pain and work would result in the fact that he would acquire the girls he loved and had paid for with his blood and money in the form of the help through the services of the intelligence office. He would get them into his harem, harlots or virgins. He did not know what way. Sometimes, he hoped for the best. Sometimes, he was sure of the worse. He might not answer that question to define the truth as yet.


Natalie

Natalie studied in the same school as Mike. She was a year younger than he was. She was the girl of Mike’s heart. Mike often went by a road to the school so as to pass through the court of the house where Natalie lived. It was in a hope to get after Natalie and walk behind her to watch her beauty, slender body and the light legs as a young she-goat would have. She had a beautiful smile and quite beautiful eyes. She was a Gypsy half-bred or something.
Once Mike had real fun watching her to wear her mom’s shoes that were rather big for Natalie. Mike always contemplated her beauty. He had a video tape which Natalie was pictured on. It was when she gave the flowers to some boys or girls of Mike’s grade. It was on the graduation meeting of Mike’s year.
Then, Mike got to study in the law school in Abakan. It was a matter of prestige for Mike and his family. It added Mike some courage. Once there was the Evening of the Meeting of the Graduates in the school. Mike got into the school. In the dinner room that served as a ball room in some social events Mike met Natalie. He announced he was a future advocate. Natalie flipped with her tongue to show she thought Mike was real something in her eyes. Then, Mike invited her to dance. She trembled in Mike’s arms. It was sure it was her maiden dance with a beau. Mike knew he left quite an impression on the heart of this young maiden. After the dance, Mike did not push the matters. He bid a farewell to her and promised to hope to see her in the future.
The same night, Mike confessed his love to his mom so as for her to back up his relations with the girl he loved.
‘You need a mistress, a sexual partner?’ asked the mom.
Mike did not want to say more about the matter. The mom and his dad professed not to sleep together or have sex. They kind of sacrificed their happiness for the sake of the family. The mom was about fifty then. They anticipated the same of Mike. Mike knew his dad regularly slept with other women. The mom was deemed not to have the same with other men. Often scandals between his parents made Mike to lose the wanting to go home on weekends from the city where he studied. Mike knew his parents were ready to spoil his love affair like they did with his friendships. Mike did not want to allow them do it with his love. A boy needs much of support in this age from his parents if he hopes for a successful love affair. He does not mean much yet, has no personal income except the scholarship if he studies well as it was with Mike. All he can do as his first step is to invite the prospective bride to get acquainted with his parents. If he does not it, it would look very queer. The second thing a boy could do is to borrow the car off his dad to give a ride to his girl. Mike’s dad car was in a deplorable repair. At this age, the girls look much to the parents of a prospective beau. It is a kind of example what the boy is like. Mike’s dad drank much. Mike’s new house was not completely built. So, Mike had very few chances for a successful romance. He knew he would have to take care about himself himself. So, all he could do not to spoil the life of his beloved by his own problem was not to get in touch with her at all. Mike dismissed his love affair.
Then, after several years, when Mike got tired of the despising looking down on the part of the city girls for him as a country boy, he recalled his young love. It pleased him to have a feeling of his own. He cherished it. And looked over and over the tape Natalie was pictured on.
It was already after Mike got sick.
Once he invited an acquaintance of his, the son of a woman who was one of the local district judges. It was to find about his love, where she lived and the like.
It turned out that Natalie was from a numerate children family. So, Roman as was the name of the boy predicted an easy success with her. He told where she lived.
Mike, at that time, already worked in a transportation company as a law advisor. He already got a job in the Registration Chamber that dealt with the registering of the rights and transactions on real estate. So, Mike had the courage. Though much less than in the day he had invited her to dance.
Mike found her flat and rang the bell. Her mom opened the door. He asked for her daughter.
‘Which one?’ she asked.
‘Natalie,’ Mike specified.
Natalie went to the door.
‘Hello, would you like to go to a coffee shop?’ Mike asked.
‘Did I meet you?’ she asked.
‘Yea, I danced once with you in the school,’ Mike pointed.
‘I don’t remember,’ Natalie said. ‘You danced with me in the school?’
‘Yea,’ Mike assured.
‘I don’t remember,’ she affirmed. ‘Vow, I understood. ‘Tis Alex, who sent you to hoax me out.’ She referred to her first love affair, as Mike knew from Roman.
‘No, I’m here on my own. I wanted to meet with you. I got a job in the Registration Chamber.’ Mike opposed.
‘No, I got a boy, in Krasnoyarsk.’ She excused herself.
‘He’s the local?’ Mike asked.
‘Yea,’ she answered.
‘I bet he got a car,’ Mike opinioned.
‘Yea,’ she confirmed.
‘Where do you study?’ Mike questioned.
‘I study for an interpreter of English,’ she answered.
‘Yea, I wanted to make friends with you,’ Mike explained.
‘No, I got a boy already. And, I don’t know if you are better or worse. I know him and that’s it.’ She said.
‘Ok, so was glad to meet you. Take care.’ Mike said to take his leave.
‘Yea, good-bye,’ she bid her farewell.
To say the truth Mike was glad it all turned this way. Nothing was left of this slender and tender girl he had loved in the school. A fully-grown woman looked on him with fat hips and bandy legs. She had a broad mouth. Which Mike did not like in women. Somebody had wasted this girl of his youth. Mike felt really relieved it all ended this way. It would be more disappointment if she were free and ready to meet.

Tina

When Mike got into the law school he was very bashful. He presumed like everybody on the new group of students that were admitted into the law school had great academic achievements. Mike was a country boy and believed that in the city the boys and girls were more clever. He thought he would happen to socialize in a midst of the young elite that had the study as their number one priority. Mike was cautious in the time between the courses and bold in the seminar rooms. But, it turned out that very few people in the rings he was now absorbed by took care in the study as an all-time or main occupation. Most people just wanted to go through the motions called about by obligation and receive a degree. For most, it was a student life, the time to get as much fun and impressions for the rest of the life as could be.
When in the lecture room, Mike decided for himself to target a girl as a future object of wooing. His eyes from the very first spotted a girl in a blue sweater. She held herself with modesty as it seemed, not having got as yet the easiness of a friendly and well-known surrounding. Mike thought she came from a school teachers’ family. There was another girl that also was pretty if not to say a complete beauty, but they said she was from a much well-to-do family so Mike did not choose her as a prospective girlfriend. The girl in the blue sweater also was a chief of her own group as Mike himself was and that made her to be seen frequently on the go in the lecture room. As registering the comers to the lectures or announcing some news from the dean’s office.
It was a well drawn out scheme for a love affair to come. He knew he would find a girl to make friends with and make a family in the future. And, he knew it should be the girl, he first saw in the blue sweater. The autumn ball was ahead. A kind of party where they declared the law school newcomers to be students. Mike had a plan how he would invite the girl that he had first seen in the blue sweater for a dance and then to make friends with. Really, Mike had almost no money to invite the girl he pleased into a coffee-shop or to give her a ride on a car, so he needed a kind of official event for the atmosphere to get less dense to find a way with the girl. Till this moment, Mike only ogled at the girl. He even did not try to find out what was her name to have a pretence to come and ask what was her name.
Mike would eagerly wait for the lecture or a common seminar course, because she was enlisted to a different group. Then, Mike watched her beauty provided they don’t take the money for looking at. It was a matter of a month till the autumn ball. The party would be held in the republican house of culture. The whole law school would be present to the party. The dean, some teachers and senior students would have a speech to the audience.
On the day of the autumn ball, Mike got among the first into the audience room. He sat near the scene to occupy some seats for his group. But, the girl Mike loved also came among the first ones into the audience room and approached Mike. She had a good white suit on that surely made a princess of her.
‘Would you be so kind as to free up some place for me?’ the girl asked.
It was a girl of Mike’s heart, so he did not hesitate to free his seat for her presuming it was only for her and he would be happy to sit somewhere nearby deeper into the row of the chairs. But, it turned out that the whole bunch of the students from her group occupied the row to oust Mike out of the sitting place. Then, the fellows from Mike’s own group rebuked him for giving up the place, so he had to wait till the other students occupied the rest of the sitting place. Finally, it turned out that there was left no place for Mike. And, he had to pretend he was occupied with the show business of some girls from his group that presented a number. It made Mike’s sacrifice more meaning. However, he felt uneasy, because all sat down on the chairs but he hang around the sound management group as if he was kind of influencing the show. Nonetheless, Mike managed to find a free chair on the balcony. But, then they called about the chiefs of the groups, and Mike had to go down.
After the official part was over, the dance party began. Mike was full of courage to come and invite the girl he loved for a dance. But, when he found her, she already waltzed with a beau. It was a kind of mystery for Mike, whether he knew her in the school or get so friendly on the autumn ball party. All the same, they danced like they were very close and knew each other for long. Mike got completely destroyed in the anticipations he had about his life in the college. Seemed that all the best girls were already occupied. Or, staked as they said.
So, the girl was not a fresh flower. It turned out that the boy had a car from his parents and was from a family of means. After some time, Mike found out that the boy was not from a good faculty. Like he studied to get a diploma as a future teacher of physics and mathematics with some programmer skills. It was not fashionable. His parents bought him an automobile repair parts shop to get a kind of businessman to be more successful with the girls. He had money and a car. That’s why Mike counted no chances of his to fight off the girl. And, really he was not keen for it. Every girl wants to be regarded more advanced and independent than she is in the reality. So, a car and some money is what a girl needs to know that her beauty is properly appreciated. To imitate an adult life. Not to be a child any more. But, a woman.
What could be Mike’s strategy? First, he needed a dame of his heart to commit the deeds on the study front. And, not to get mixed with some ugly or bad girls to spoil his life as everybody much older warned Mike. Mike loved this easy and confident manner Tina as he had known the name of the girl, had. Only pretty girls from a relatively rich family have such bold carry of themselves. Mike knew that his personal quotients would grow up if he continued to study well. Everybody else were the partisans of an idea that if you was noble at the time of study, you would be the same due to your parents’ achievements and relations, and if you were simple you were only doomed to stay simple for your whole life. Mike knew he could break this rule and make the girls more interested in him. At this moment, he had no resources to start a love affair with a matrimonial prospects as an honest man should do always. On the other hand, Mike did not want to be a beggar. Owing to the beggars are no choosers. He felt he had enough guts to wait for Tina to change her views for more realistic. He knew he would not come to her first. It made the whole perspective of a love affair with Tina more dour. But, Mike did not want to let her call the suit if once they made an alliance. Anyhow, he loved Tina. When he chose whom to make a girl of his mind he stopped on her. It is a good way to pass the time playing with the dreams about a girl. But, very fast you get trapped with a real feeling. It was the same with Mike. He was real affectionate of Tina.
Mike sat on the rear chairs. It was to look at the back of Tina, her hair and body when she got up. Mike said nothing of his feelings, but the eyes of a loving man could say much more. It might be inferred Tina knew of Mike’s feelings for her. Very often Mike saw her intimidated and feeling that Mike looked at her. She would trim her hair, and let it seen she was touched and timorous. Afterwards, when he was more experienced, Mike realized he could come to her and have good chances. But, then he should come first. He waited for some token of interest on her part instead. She was maybe not a virgin as the situation looked like. Though Mike hoped she was. Of course, Mike played with an idea that they did not have sex with her boyfriend before the marriage. But, he dismissed it for its being unreal. Once on his way from the student hostel he lived in, he met them in her boy’s car kissing. Mike spat to show his disregard for all it. Only many years later, Mike could understand it might be for him. Anyway, he waited for a first step from Tina like leaving her boy and getting at least free.
Tina’s boyfriend maybe thought he paid enough for his amusement. Once he got into the lecture room provided he knew the law school boys from the common parties and picnics. He played a fool and finally sat on the lap of Tina to show that the princess of Mike’s heart, whose beauty was much appreciated by other students, was not much more than a pay girl. Mike looked through his shoulder at the humiliation of Tina. He met her peripheral sight. She knew Mike saw it. From this day her relations with her boyfriend began to change for worse. He often dropped into the law school, but only to argue much with his girlfriend in the space-time between the lectures, or even in the back of the lecture room during a course. Seemed that Tina did not want to lose her argument of being demanded. So, it all tarried on. First year it was much fun. Second year it was more hangover and sobriety.
If Mike stopped full-time studying and ventured a love affair with Tina then she would get disappointed in him after he would get a worse student. The same as with her boyfriend. Mike knew the girls in that time did not make a once for whole life choices. They wanted to sell their beauty as high as possible on a short term basis, that is beautiful and demanded girls. However, it was the same for the homely ones that made themselves more attractive by freer access. It was not a life long market. And, Mike also was afraid that he could have been cheated out of his life opportunities. Tina surely did not want to share Mike’s dreams and studies. She did not want a serious relationship. All she wanted was to change horses as fast as possible to make the trip of life more fun.
Nonetheless, Mike loved Tina. He tried to crack jokes at her rare presence. To be funny. However, he was too much intimidated by the first losses that he only should have been encouraged for some real steps.
Tina had a kind of acquaintance. It was a small stature boy. He was surely a coward, as Mike might know some time later. But, every dog is a lion in his home. It was his city. He knew the people. Once, sitting and talking with Tina on the rear tables in an audience that had an amphitheater style, he threw a pencil to Mike’s part, though missed. Mike did not want to sharpen the conflict, because he was afraid they might exclude him from the law school if he punched the small young man. So, Mike just tempered it. Surely, it was because Tina had a conversation about Mike with this small dog.
Second year Mike began to study French. The third year he began to study English. In the beginning of the third year, Mike decided to try his temperance and to cut down on the substitute of normal sex any boy practices in the lack of feminine society. It was too much of humiliation for Mike that he could not get what he wanted so much. After half a year of complete forbearance, Mike decided to meet a girl that rented a flat in the very same building Mike lived in himself. But, she announced she kind of also had a boyfriend in the school. So, Mike decided to wait for some time. Then, his elder brother got into a ski accident. And, it made it not possible for Mike to spend money on girls, because Nick needed much expensive medical care. Before this he was the only monetary supporter of his one daughter family. So, Mike continued to forbear even after he proved himself he had the necessary strength of will.
Thus, he even got bereft of this pitiful source of positive emotions. Mike got chronic tears ready to appear on his eyes. He began to sleep less. It gave him some drunkenness and made his head occupied not with the ideas of loneliness and unhappiness, but longing for more sleep. Mike got more confident. He studied much to subdue his body. The knowledge of English made him more confident.
It was the time when the girls began to think of their future, not just of how funnier to pass the time. So, they needed prospective family supporters. Mike shared the status of best student of the year with another boy, who studied well. So, the girls got more interested in him. A burly pretty girl used to build eyes to Mike.
Mike got occupied with finding of a place for internship practice. Many students wanted to render him a service occupied also with the idea of making adult time friends. In a bank, where Mike’s pal Ricky got a paper for him to pass the summer on the internship, Mike met a young woman. She was very beautiful. She seemed to be elder. She was confident and cheeky. She protected her grounds from a prospective intruder. She sent Mike to the manager of staff to get scolded as though nobody needed such a specialist. Seemed like somebody bribed him. A pair of guys also sat in the room and a pack of money lay on the table. Maybe, it was the reason why he was very nervous to bawl at Mike. Anyhow, Mike fell in love with the Greek nosed woman from the first sight. She could be unmarried. Mike could not tell for sure how old she was. It was Mike’s new love. She was really beautiful. And, Mike was glad with his new feeling. It would drive off stale air.
Mike slept less and less. He kept on dry forbearance from sex. When he got into a state office, of which the director was connected with the big metal business, Mike got on the peak of his personal value. Then, he stopped even to sleep in the daytime by which he somehow leveled the deficit of sleep. Finally, Mike went crazy. All was fun for him. His conscience began to change the world around him to compensate for the lack of positive emotions, dreams and too much stress. Tina got very homely in Mike’s eyes. All the charms passed away. She was afraid of Mike’s change and turned pale. One day she several times approached Mike in the building hall to see what was it with Mike, why he always laughed and was merry. She knew she surely held out for too much, and finally lost her positions. The new woman whom Mike also saw in the bank was scared of Mike’s liberty of manners. When she stooped the lift to get in, Mike simply pushed the button himself to leave her out.
‘She’ll wait,’ he said calmly…
The whole year Mike was out of the university to get his mind into some shape. He saw Tina only in his dreams during the sleep. It was the moments when he forgot of his sickness and recalled his love. Then, Mike made up with the rest of the students and kept up with his year.
They said that in the meantime Tina left her boyfriend. She played a harlot in the restaurant and changed about eight men. Then, she met a man, who was about fifty years older and married him.
Once, she was bothered by the small dog young man, because she let some liberty of handling to other male students. She looked at Mike sitting on an armchair as if needed some help. It was a keen look of challenge as if she asked if Mike could defend what he loved. Mike could not.
The last time, Mike saw Tina was on the graduation when the dean gave out the diplomas with some comments.
‘At a boy, you ended up with the rest,’ he said to Mike giving him his papers.
Mike could not help looking at Tina for a pair of times. She was slender, with regular face features, dark beautiful eyes, good body. Many times Mike dreamed of having her in his power, since he had met her. But, now she blushed and showed her being not glad with Mike’s attention. What was it? A shame that such a man as Mike ever loved her? That it turned out this way? That she lost a prospective beau? That Mike preferred the shame of sickness to the humiliation of being second choice? Mike never knew. He did not go to the graduation party that was held in a restaurant. It was Mike’s last chance to dance with the girl of his dreams. He did not take avail of it.
Mike only twice confessed about his love to Tina. Once to friends Ricky and Valero. It was on the fifth year of study.
‘You, surely, got no chances, Mike. She’s gonna get married,’ Valero said.
Second time to his friend among natives, whose name was Stiff. Two years since the graduation.
‘But, she surely is a fool girl, Julia’s much better,’ he said.
But, all girls on the year knew about Mike’s love to Tina. Once Tina distributed the test papers. A boy from Mike’s group, whose name was Roman, who worked as a security guard in the nighttime to watch the shops, and so was much confident in handling women, having a girl among the clerks of the shop he watched, slapped Tina on the ass. Mike blushed because of it. A girl from Mike’s group turned back not able to see this passion of Mike to Tina, maybe because of envy.
All Mike knew about Tina after the university was that she worked as a lawyer on a big chicken farm. Mike dreamed how he would come over there and take her. He had a vision how she wept and fed the chicken in the cage. It was a mystery for Mike how Tina put up with the chicken dung stink that is quite common on a chicken factory. Was there a princess?

Girlfriend

Mike often stayed in the university hostel for the weekends and did not come home by bus. Partly, it was because his parents often quarreled and Mike did not want to spoil his mood. Partly, he tried to economize. Helen, a girl that studied on the economic faculty as a future manager, did not come home also because her finances were even scarcer.
Once, she caught a flue and Mike went to the drugstore and bought her the necessary medicine. He brought it to her room and prepared the buttheads also. He took a butthead on the spoon and put it into the mouth of Helen. It was sexy. Then, he invited her once to eat the fried potatoes. That way their mutual feelings developed. They did not come the whole way in their relations, though kissed and hugged each other during the nights with the romantic collection music, which played by her old tape recorder. All in all, Mike did not make Helen lose her honor.
Once, she came drunken to the room of Mike and they lay both in the bed.
‘You know, my girlfriend Anara proposed me to make her a company and sleep with the friend of her boy, but I said I had a true feeling, I meant you.’ She told.
However, Helen was native and homely. So, Mike was even intimidated if not ashamed when his pal Chuck took the perfume out of Mike’s case and asked which girl he had bought it for. It was for Helen.
All the same, they knew all in the university about Mike’s love affair with Helen. However, Mike loved Tina, not Helen. And, he tried by all his endeavors to get rid of her. In the end, he was successful in it. An older student Vincent took her as his girl during Mike’s absence from the hostel on the autumn vacation. He was also native and maybe Helen was closer to the ideal of beauty in his eyes. Only, he was angry with Mike due Mike had been with Helen before him. It was strange because he was not angry with the other hostel boys who had had deeper relations with Helen on account she had free ideas of love and fun. He was a boxer and even threatened Mike. Still, Mike brooked it because Vincent made a steady girl out of the call one.

Elephant’s example

Once, Mike watched the TV set. It was a film about animals. They told a story about an elephant that tried to feed his mother that had lost her trunk. He did it till the last moment of her life when she died of hunger because a trunk could not feed two elephants. It was a strong example on Mike and he swore to himself that he would always take care of his own mother.

Poetry

The decrepit walls of the hostel were hidden in the darkness of the night. Only one or two weak electrical lamps lit the spots near the doors of the relevant rooms. But, the corridor being long, the whole impression of the darkness hang over the place. Only from the left, from the washing room, few yellow beams came out. Mike stood at the end of the corridor looking into the blackness of the long silent space ahead. He leaned against the windowsill. Back of him, through the glass of the window, there was the lifeless corner of the city, blackened by the night. The cold atmosphere of the late autumn was outside.
Mike recalled the girl whom he loved that was possessed by a stranger, the local boy, who played on his home field. Sadness came over Mike’s existence and his heart begot such verses:
What should I do with these thoughts of mine?
Whether to drown them in the wine?
Or, with the smoke of ganja to put them on the wind,
For them to ramble in the ether field?
Really, Mike was not like taking drugs or relying on the booze. He simply imagined himself such a prospect. Anyhow, it was just inspiration and poetry. Still, for Mike it was what there had been in his heart. He expressed his guts in verse.

Couple

The spring was in its strength and the warm weather took its offensive on the last small heaps of the snow that lay over the streets of Abakan. Now, it was almost no snow among the buildings. The usual grayness of the city returned.
It could have been a usual day in the hostel routine life of Mike but for the visit of Steve and his girl, both natives. Mike knew that the student community of his year in the law school was somewhat discontent with the way of the living he had led. He lived a regular life without much fun and exposure to the pleasure that the young life could afford. They nicknamed him ‘Jew’. Maybe, it was because Mike wanted to be isolated from the world of the hostel and university in all, even in meals not taking part in the booze parties and picnics. They kind of despised him. So, the visit of Steve and his girl to Mike’s room was not an ordinary event in the life of Mike. He tried to welcome them and entertain better. He talked and joked trying to play a good guest. He a bit envied Steve for a possibility to walk in the spring streets with a girl.
What was special in all that affair? It was for the hypothesis of Mike of the influence of the girls on boys, that came proved by the life. Steve was a boy that in his first year of the study gave big hopes of the future career success, being in the elite club that had appeared after the first session of the winter exams. But, Julia as was the name of the girl that possessed Steve kind of spoiled him. Before he met Julia, Steve could put in a wise word into the discussions in the seminar rooms. The other students held him in respect. But, then he wept into the seed as they say about the bad onion, carrot or other vegetable. He became an average student without much real pretence for a brilliant future as a practicing lawyer. Julia had wasted him. He traded his work and study for the cheap amusement of the young love free of any real obligations that should be called properly just fornication. Such as leaves a strong feeling of hangover after there comes an end. Mike was wise not to get entangled in such an affair void of the essence that would make it able to stand for the future. There are very little girls that can turn a blessing for a young man. It is because none of them want to invest, but to take what there is in a man on a short time basis. Julia needed Steve to wander on the streets, to the movies and the coffee shops. She did not spare him for the future. She spent what there was in him. Then, she married a young man, who tried to build his own house very early. But, Steve stayed an averaged man and worked in a real estate dealing firm without much grip of future. Julia turned his impulse that he had earned in the school on herself, and now Steve was void of that stamina of life. He dated other girls the same way and finally was a city young man without a strong care for the family. The spring branch brought forth a poisoned fruit.

Magadan lady

Kolyma is a river in which the poor prisoners of the Soviet Union epoch sought for the gold. It flows in a frozen wasteland of North. Many souls found their last shelter on the cemeteries of the many prison camps. Magadan is a city that stands upon this northern river. Almost all the population of modern Magadan takes its origin in the families of the first jailers and those prisoners who were obliged to stay there in an administrative exile after the term of their presence in the prison camps was over. So, it is not necessary to note that tough people live in those lands nowadays. There’s even a common joke that became popular after it had been put into a comedy movie.
There a man from Magadan invited the other one, a small Moscow fraud to visit his home up North in Siberia, ‘If you happen to be on Kolyma, you are welcomed.’
‘Better, you come to us,’ the small fraud answered.
Mike did not remember the name of the Magadan lady. She hung around the whole country being first on the shores of the Black Sea then in Moscow and after all found a haven in Abakan State University on the faculty of economics and finances. She was a tough lady. She drank vodka by glasses and kept her liquor fine. She was not inebriated even after much alcohol. Nobody knew when she got pregnant and of whom. She slept with many men and even Mike’s roommate Chuck had her in the bed. Finally, everybody could see her grown up belly holding a baby. She drank hard even when she was pregnant. Her parents lived thousand miles northeast and nobody looked after her. Only every now and then she received money transfers from her home. Last time Mike saw her was when she went along the avenue her big baby holding belly first and having in her hand a big bunch of red roses. Was they given by a father of the baby or a man who consented to make up for the unknown and absent father Mike did not know.
What was special in all this story and what makes it worthwhile being written? Mike would never count that part of his memory important if not for one point. This young lady made Mike a biscuit pie. It was specially for Mike and out of Mike’s components. Even Chuck had an access to it only because he was Mike’s roommate. Mike was wild and hungry as any first year Russian student living in a hostel, so he readily accepted the idea. It was even a bit insolent on Mike’s part provided he meant no development of the affair. Mike counted it as an acknowledgement of his being a good boy. It was in the time when this girl did keep to the image of a regular student as yet. Mike’s own sister Jane lived in a distant town with her mom and Mike never knew much female care. Did she do it out of a feeling of comradeship and common life, or she anticipated some more active steps on Mike’s part toward her person that the acceptance of the cooked pie implied in her eyes, maybe? Mike did not know. All the same he felt uneasy when he recalled about that pie cooked by Magadan lady as they nicknamed her. Mike knew that every girl saw a positive hero in Mike’s person. He studied well and passed his spare time reading textbooks. He did not drink and smoke pot. He was serious. Was Mike to save this girl from future troubles and was he obliged to her by her kind culinary effort? Mike thought much on it. They always said that Mike often cycled on some things, that is, he analyzed the events and tried to appreciate them and make consequences. Was it such a case? Mike never knew. And, he did not know what became of that girl from Magadan.

A cowboy

This morning Mike had to bring the cow that belonged to their family to the veterinarian station. Mike made the cow go into the mounting and tied her by horns with a rope to the wooden pillar. Then, he took his book in French about Napoleon written by a Russian scientist and translated into French also by a Russian interpreter, so the book was read easily. Mike opened it, and began to read about the sublime life of the great conqueror. It was so magnificent that Mike asked himself a question whether he would stay a cowboy for the rest of his life. The cow made a crap pancake, and Mike had to make away with it and wash the place under her tail again. The veterinarian woman appeared in from the building. She had the seed in her plastic transparent glove. Then, she made her business with the cow. The cow had to stay still for some time. Mike read again about great conquests and sublime life of military deeds. Mike surely did not want to turn a soldier and die in the war. But, all this seemed to be something special to him. The life of expensive vehicles, balls and all the rest, it seemed to be magnificent. But, what Mike had now was a cow, which he should make go home.

Kissing couples

Usually, Mike studied till very deep in the night on account his group had the courses in the second half of the day. Often, he would turn off the lamp and look at the window. There was a small square covered by asphalt. So, not seldom, the place would be occupied by a good Japanese car with a pair of young people kissing in the darkness of the night. Mike saw how they caressed each other and he badly wanted to hap on the place of the driver of such an automobile to carry a girl of his dream into a dark corner to have his way with her. Thus, the picture showed the non-equitability of the life it seemed. Mike worked hard to earn his future while the happy youngsters just had the fun. By that, Mike turned only more angry and obstinate.

Life story

This is the life story of the old Stephan, the grandfather of Nick, Mike’s elder brother. He was born in Western Ukraine. When the Second World War began and the German Army occupied that part of Soviet Union, he was a boy yet. But when he grew older he came to the forest to be a guerilla. There he killed his German soldier, an aged man that rode on a cart with the provision along the forest. When the war was over, the guerillas little differed from the bandits. There was little discipline and the guerillas kept the arms on them. During a wedding party, a quarrel arose and Stephan shot the chieftain guerilla of their detachment. He had to run away. On a railway station, he saw a drunken soldier that slept on a bench on the platform, as he would allege afterwards, they found no end of that soldier. He took the documents of that soldier and availed of them to run to Siberia. Now, he was not Stephan, but Vassily Demidoff.
In Siberia, he got married and gave birth to a pair of kids, a boy and a girl. He worked on an excavator in the coal pit. He was a good worker and they decided to present him to be given the order of Lenin. That day he sat on the divan and began to weep bitterly.
‘What’s wrong with you, Vassily?’ asked his wife Mary.
‘I cannot tell you,’ he just said and continued to weep.
Then, a journalist wrote an article about him and there was the photo of Stephan printed in the newspaper “Truth”. The relatives of real Vassily Demidoff read the article and saw that on the paper there was the man who had the name of their lost relative but not he himself. They applied to the police. And, they arrested Stephan. Then, they came with him to Western Ukraine to pass the investigation acts and they held the court there to judge Stephan and sentence him to the twenty-five years of the jail. All the burden of brining up the kids lay now on Mary. She looked after them when they grew and helped them receive the college education. Her husband returned to her only after he served the term in the jail. She still called him Vassily. Only officially, they called him Stephan.

Wedge

It always seemed to Mike that a sort of wedge had come on him. As though the sins and acts of his ancestors and parents had made the life take Mike into the tongs of suffering. There was no way out and Mike only had to accept what was prepared for him choosing the lesser evil. That wedge pressed upon his soul and made him feel as if it was insurmountable. The wedge of circumstances drove Mike to take a way already prepared for him. That made the bad things in his life only double.

The valley of the shadow of death

It was the end of September. The dreary days of the autumn rains and mud were about to begin. Mike felt lonely and uncomfortable in this atmosphere of the ongoing cold weather that imminently followed the warmth of the Indian summer. Mike was sick of the kind of the life he had led. His dreams and merry mood broke at the rather bad treatment that the life offered him through his parents that quarreled too much, the landlady that was the mother of his own mom’s first husband and that did not take money but treated him bad, the boys and girls in the law school that looked down upon him as somebody inferior because he was a country boy, the girl he loved that rode in an expensive car with another boy, the hostel guys and girls who wanted to absorb him into the routine of booze and sex void of romance, the local Pentecostal church members that seemed much to be hypocrites. Mike was tired of his own weakness and non-ability to change the ways of his life cardinally. Mike could not accept the way of the spiritual life that the society around offered to him. He might not put up with the idea that was a kind of everybody’s personal and collective propaganda that even Jesus was a kind of sacrifice that was intended to cover up every day’s life of sin that did not change and continued also when the man or woman got into the church. The sublime things of his nation and environment seemed to be void of principles and not able to give him a spiritual back-up necessary for him as a stimulus is wanted by a grass that breaks through asphalt. Mike could not accept that a man could die for another man and become his master. The way Mike saw it, it was a kind of drowning deeply in the sins through hypocrisy. The cross of Calvary was compromised in the life of the people that visited the church almost the same as the ones who drank and cursed. Mike felt it. He tried to show the sins of other people and condemn them, but he always heard ‘do not judge lest you should be judged yourself’. The maximal approach of the youth needed more personal ability to criticize and change for better. For Mike it was necessary that the law prevailed over the grace. To call the other people for a more regular life Mike needed himself to live a life of complete regularity and no weakness of the flesh. Mike felt that the spirit should rule the flesh and control the lusts. He hoped that he would achieve such a state of spirit that he might sleep with a woman when he wanted so and not to sleep when it was not in his interests and the opposite sex could play a bear on such a want of the flesh. Mike wanted to be a man who sinned when he wanted so and not when the body and nerves called to it. Mike wanted to be the master of the sin, and not its servant. Mike wanted to have the power over his body, life and other people. It was only necessary to make an example of the forbearance and ability to control the sin. Mike took the Koran off the old piano that served as a shelf for this book in the green cover and Mike’s textbooks. Mike already felt the hypocrisy of this religion. But, he loved the idea that he was chosen, an orthodox and could judge the infidels. Mike felt it equitable that a man should be called righteous not because he sang in the church but because he lived by the complete rule of the law of the God. He opened the book and read a bit of its contents. He knew he was on the threshold of the very important step of his life when he would burn his bridges that gave the way back and leave no choice but to come forward. Mike loved the idea of the Koran that called to live by the rule of the law, and not only by the grace. Mike read only one of the gospels of the four evangelic authors in his adolescence. But, Christianity was much not it because of the life of the people who called themselves Christians and Orthodox Mike could see around him.
Mike wanted very much to part with the many complexes he had in his life. Mike was tired of being shy and not able to commit the things he wanted to commit. He needed more boldness. He wanted to feel more self-confident. To be more sure of himself was the first priority for Mike. So, Mike decided to begin a complete sexual forbearance without any interruptions. He was sure he was treading on the territory of the unknown. It seemed to him that he would loss his senses. He risked insanity. But, he hoped that he would remake his flesh to a new style. That he would make a step on the new level as if he changed the first gear to the second. It meant more speed and impulse. Mike hoped he would be able to control himself in this condition. It was a step that had no way back but to go on. It was a lose or win decision. Mike closed the Koran and put it on the old black piano. Suddenly, he recalled about the valley of the shadow of death. He knew he was about to come through it. He was whether to leave his bones on the side of the way or to get through. Mike would have been afraid but he was sure that the Lord would not allow him to perish. He was sure the Lord was with him. And, he made his first and no way back step along the valley of the shadow of death.

Disaster

That winter night Michael had slept calmly as usual when he was in home, but when somebody had ridden in a car to the house almost at the morning he knew it was something wrong. First, nobody visited the house for about a pair of weeks and even in the day the guests were rare ones, second, it was his brother Nick’s birthday and he had not come to the house of his parents to receive the wishes of happiness and good health. The relations of Mike’s parents with Nick’s own family were tense after Mike’s mom Anastasia had quarreled with Nick’s wife Natalie because the mom had thought the wife of her son had treated him too bad. So, it was sure that something extraordinary happened, perhaps a car accident. Somebody opened the door and a man’s voice told something about Nick. The mom began to weep and went up to the second floor. Mike stood up off his bed and went forward to her. She fell on Mike’s bosom and sobbed.
‘Nick got in an accident,’ sobbed out the mom.
‘Mom, calm down, it all shall be Ok,’ Mike softly persuaded.
It turned out that Nick had had a birthday party on a mountain ski track. They drank wine and Nick and his friends decided to ski down the electricity lit mountain track in the night. His both friends used to come to the ski track but for Nick it was the first time. On his way down a stone shoveled just before by a bulldozer on the track got under one of his skis. He fell over and broke his left leg in thigh and also his shank in an open way. To boot, he broke his pelvis in a way a book is opened. They also said that they suspected he broke his backbone though the nerves were not touched.
Up to this moment Mike already fasted completely from sex for about four months. He felt himself a man that had the strength of will, which he proved. He was satisfied and wanted to stop it and make friends with a girl that lived on the fifth floor of Mike’s condominium at the same entrance. It seemed that he had a charge of self-confidence enough for his whole life that was ahead. But, the accident with Nick suspended Mike’s ease of the flesh. It happened in the days of the winter vacation of Mike’s university curriculum.
In the morning after the news had come in the night the mom, Mike, Nick’s wife and his both friends got prepared for their trip to the hospital on a microbus. When, they arrived to the place. Nick’s friend Jack had some business talk with him first. Then, Natalie passed some time in the room tete-a-tete with Nick. Then, the mom and Michael entered the room where Nick was alone on a bed. It seemed that he was left by the doctors to die of his many wounds. The mom began to find out about what was necessary to save Nick’s life. The doctor asked if they had enough money for the necessary medicines. The mom said that they would find it. Natalie wept in the hall near a window. Mike approached her.
‘Natalie, don’t weep. Anyhow, he is not an artist of the circus. He’ll recover and be able to work,’ Mike assured.
‘They said he shall lie in the bed for eight months,’ complained Natalie.
‘It will all be Ok,’ Mike tried to make her calm down.
The wheels of the mechanism of salvation began to turn over and Nick’s numerate friends began to buy the necessary medicines, the doctor operated Nick many times with much enthusiasm due to the presence of the finances in abundance. However, Nick got into a coma for about ten days on account they could not find straight away a necessary medicine to dissolve the fat originating out of the broken bones that obstructed the circulation of the blood through the vessels to the brains. Nonetheless, Nick recovered. The mom and Natalie watched Nick by shifts sleeping in a special room on the first floor where they cooked and kept the food for the patient. But, Mike felt that he could do nothing important for his brother. He awoke in the nights and had a prehistoric instinctive feeling that one of his kin was in a peril. He cooked the sweet biscuits for Nick and killed and processed the hens for soup to feed him. However, it seemed to be not enough. So, Michael had to have more to prepare as an encouragement and share of troubles. This way, about a month after the trauma had been gotten, Mike had to pronounce himself to Nick on one of their visits to the hospital. Nick presented a pitiful picture of himself. His left shank bent on the place of the breakage and he wept and begged Natalie to be more careful.
‘Nick, you should know that I will help you to get out of it and make all this accident to have least influence on your life. I will assist you as much as necessary. And, I will be so much stronger as you have become weaker to help you. I will grow up more and help you, Nick,’ Mike affirmed.
He knew what Nick wanted. He wanted that somebody helped him make all it in a way as if it never happened at all. Then, the doctor came in. Mike looked with a redoubtable glance as if he protected Nick of their scalpels and saws. The surgeon fell back to the door and came out of the room after a few words impressed by Mike’s eyes that spoke he was ready to protect his kinsman. Then, Nick’s small daughter Pauline entered into the room and gifted to her dad some paintings of hers. It was a touching scene. All in all, Nick was on a recover.
Mike knew his brother suffered. He himself could not indulge in love affairs when his closest relative was through such a suffer. So, Mike’s personal life arrangement was postponed to the distant future. Mike could keep his promise and become as stronger as Nick had gotten weaker only one way. If he just lived in a regular way letting the days of romance and ease if would not be possible. So, Mike did what he thought was needs to do. He began a complete forbearance from any love or sex. He even stopped dreaming. He reckoned it was a useless spending of time. He worked and studied English and law much to keep down his body that wanted the satisfaction to which it was accustomed. Mike was depressed by all his life including the quarreling parents that seldom found common language, usually only when it was an exterior necessity, for example, when some guests visited their home. But, they never scrupled over Mike’s feelings. It was touted that they themselves had no common sexual life. And, it was presumed that the dad slept only with the occasional or constant women on the side. Then, this story with Nick, who had been the only positive example for Mike before the catastrophe. Not to get weeping during the lectures or seminars Mike began to sleep less. His senses got less perceptive of the stresses of the exterior life. Mike got enclosed into his own soul. He worked till the morning and slept only two or three hours before the law school. Then, in the afternoon he slept two or three hours more. Mike’s eyes got so much stressed by the constant state of unwept tears that a cutting pain appeared in the eyeballs. He could no more read in the nights by an electric lamp. And, even in the day it was hard to read. Mike was the hostage of his own word. The last and natural everyday satisfaction of sexual life was out for him. He was bereft even of this emotional support. Even the world of the daydreams was a prohibited land for him. However, Mike loved the idea that he was an ascetic in his everyday life and a man who had the strength of will and a serious approach to the life. It was the source of his personal comfort. It seemed to Mike that he could go on it for long and reconstruct his body after a new style. He kept down his guts. Mike did not have a clear idea that he was on the brink of an imminent visit to the crazy house.

A lost chance

Mike was very grim and stern all the time before he got sick and crazy. It was because he fasted.
He did not notice other girls except those two he loved, Tina and Jane. All other seemed to be unattractive. Like there were only two beautiful girls in the whole Abakan, Tina and Jane.
Once, when the grim majesty, which Mike was, was present on one of the seminars in the university. That was a rare occasion because Mike seldom visited the university spending the daytime home studying English. A girl from the group named Julia began to build the eyes to Mike as they said about the girls who wanted to be pleased by a boy. But, Mike rejected it.
Then, when he was sick he pitied it very much. It seemed that he lost the fortune when it came itself to his hands. He surely was punished for his haughtiness it seemed. If he only could return the chance to meet with the burly Julia. It seemed to Mike that he would never have a girl at all in his whole life, before he met another Julia, the main Julia of his life.


Jane

First Mike saw Jane in the lawyer office room of the bank. He had a paper that should have been an easy pass for an internship practice in the bank. But, as Mike realized later Jane defended her grounds as a lawyer in the bank, being a woman and having even a less prestigious educative institution legal degree than Mike. However, she was very beautiful. Regular features of the face, aquiline nose. She would have passed for a Caucus woman if not for a good Russian that testified she had a local childhood. She was confident and sure of her charms. So, it was an easy deal for her to humiliate Mike by her beauty.
Mike could pretend that she was lonely by the rich fantasy imagination he had. Even if she had a boyfriend, Mike hoped to fight her off. But, in the Mike’s apprehension of the world such a thing as for so beautiful a woman to be lonely and unconquered as yet was quite possible.
Anyhow, she made fun of Mike and sent him a wrong way. He got into a trouble and had to retreat. He had to have an internship in some other office, though the career of a banking lawyer was what he had dreamed for. After a scandal in the governmental office Mike passed his internship in, Mike had nowhere to go but to the bank, because in the place where he should have got the internship report they sent him to the all four winds. It was because Mike forbore of any sex and its substitute. Their was too much beautiful women and it was an excess of the humiliation to be lonely and not able to afford a love affair. Finally, Mike went crazy. So, he now also was confident and churlish. When Mike got into the lawyer office of the bank, he cursed much and at the provocative questions of Jane he gave simple and one meaning answers mincing no words.
It turned out that Jane got into some trouble. The bank got fined big money because she did not see some changes in the banking law concerning the terms of the transactions with foreign currency. It was much. Maybe, she was troubled, but Mike could not see it. When the next day, he sat in the office room of the major lawyer of the bank and cooked up the report, the head of the bank’s legal office tried to pull the responsibility over Jane on this fine, due to the office instruction of hers covered such cases. Anyhow, it was a State bank and administrated in a bankruptcy procedure by a manager nominated by the court. Jane came upstairs a time. She was in a summer gown styled in a sun-frock way that was in the vogue that season. She put right her dress in the skirt part picking it by her fingers. All was like she wanted to be pleased by Mike and charm him. It was not even a flirt, just a play of beauty. But, Mike got crazy, in a literal meaning of this word. He knew he needed to get home. It was a mental breakthrough of his own, all seemed to be understandable in an easy way. Many things seemed to be revealed. However, the instinct of the self-protection still worked to call Mike home from the city. Mike wrote the report, asked the major lawyer to sign and stamp it. And, he came home.
If there was a fatal woman in Mike’s life, it surely was Jane. If the other ones prepared the ground, Jane made the final blow upon Mike’s head to drive him real crazy. After Mike got into the mad house, once he thought he was going to die because they pumped too much of the medicine into his veins. The effect of the drug grew and grew, and Mike was afraid at a certain moment his soul would not be able to bear it. At this minute, Mike wanted to know what he died for. And, he knew. It was because he loved Jane. He died for her, maybe to defend her, or just to try to do it.
After the summer was over, Mike pumped with drugs had to get into the bank lawyer office to settle it finally with his internship practice report. He was lucky not to meet Jane in the office room. The other woman was in it. She signed what was necessary for Mike and he went out. He saw the photo of a man with a girl of about seven years old that sat on his shoulders on the table. Mike hoped against reason it was her brother with the niece as it was with Mike himself. It seemed that it was Jane, who answered the phone call from the reception hall. Maybe, she just went upstairs not to see Mike.
Even before all it, Mike dreamed how he would be able to somehow get independent of his love to Jane and be equal with her. His dreams came true. Ricky, the young man, who provided the invitation paper for the internship into the bank, got a job in it himself instead of the other woman that was not beautiful. So, Mike had a pretence to come into the bank and ask Ricky for a talk into the reception hall, and hear Jane’s voice on the phone. The bank rented the office room to the other organizations, among which was the arbitration court where Valero, the friend of Ricky and Mike worked. Mike visited the arbitration court on business and he had a lot of chance to hear Jane’s charming speech. Time and efforts began to do their job. Now, Mike was excellent in English, also spoke French, and had good job prospects. Of course, Mike was no rival for the possessors of the expensive cars that stood by the building. However, Jane began to show her own interest in Mike. After Mike called by the phone if Ricky was in the office, she would come down as if she needed to take some money off her account in the bank or for some other reason. Of course, Ricky advertised Mike to her willy-nilly. Before it Mike saw her only once in the post office where she sent some correspondence. He always hoped she would not change the place of her work. That she would keep the job in the bank. Then, Mike got a job in a huge metal company as an interpreter with some legal work. It was Mike’s day, it seemed. Of course, as any woman of her ways, Jane perhaps hoped that Mike would get rich and start a romance with her. Pay much and drive up the price of a married woman. But, Mike thought better of it. He lost too much on his way to the success. Jane was not the only possessor of Mike’s heart. So, Mike decided to try to get a career as a minister on the reason Mike became a Christian believer. He wanted a virgin for his wife, church service and a small job without much engagement. Thus, Mike met Jane only once more. He asked pardon of her for his behavior many years before during the internship as he was taught to do when offended himself. He gave her a doctrine brochure with his address on the interior side of the back cover. Jane pretended that she did not remember Mike as women always do. She surely was disappointed that Mike’s signs of attention and regards turned to be idle. She was beautiful as she always was. As when she descended into the hall to get into the office rooms on the first floor as though for some business. She had a slim body, was always clothed fine, was undoubtedly beautiful, without any possibility for an argument of tastes. This summer day she was also well looking. Sun-burnt and charming. She acted as a woman that was bereft of what she should have received by a true right of beauty. She even seemed to be angry, strong enough not to seem capricious. Some women called Mike by phone several times. Maybe Jane was among them, who knows. Mike never knew for sure if she was married. Ricky said she had a family. Mike even wrote a love confessing letter to Jane just when he got crazy, but Ricky said he did not transfer it, maybe because she was married or in that Mike was crazy. It was the first letter of confessing of love Mike wrote in his whole life. Finally, all the love affair turned barren. No hugs or kisses. No dates.
After all, Mike recalled the way the whole story started then deep in the childhood. He had a vision. Jane was an old woman, with wrinkles of withered charm. The countenance was a mixture of pale and green.
‘Let you be accursed, my beauty,’ the old Jane said.



Wolves

The sunny weather gave its occasional tributary to the coolness of the over-clouding of the landscape that happened now and then because of those fat white sky cattle whose direct shepherd was the Lord himself, that were driven by the refreshing wind that is so welcomed in the hot season of the summer agriculture works. The land lot where the pumpkins to be hoed was situated was near the Oya river. The average size automobile bridge was upstream and could be seen from the place. It was a kind of wild agriculture. It needed maybe no license from the authorities but just a deal with that a guy who tilled the land on a tractor. It was a number of the patches of the land on which they worked. One such patch belonged to Mike’s father Jack who was at that time somewhat in touch with the agricultural business having a friend in the management of the collective farm that was relevant to the rather big village on the federal road.
Mike and his dad got onto the place by the old green family car that was rather a working horse than the means of indulgence to the needs of the amusement. Mike never took it for the romantic rides with the girls because Mike did not date the girls and the car was much damaged by the dad’s exploiting. After they got out the heavy work of the hoeing off the weeds began. The dust, freshly cut weeds, sun and the river that ran nearby – all this created a special apprehension of the peasant work.
It was the time when Mike already was almost crazy, being on the brink of the insanity, still he was not declared so by the doctors and even his aunt that was previously a doctor’s assistant said to the mom there was no grounds for the panic.
So, the dad and son labored on the pumpkin lot. Suddenly, Mike caught by his sight a pair of the animals that should have been dogs but for their strange behavior. They ran together by the road lifting up their heads above the level of the rather high strong adult weeds. They kept their eyes above this obstacle that divided the men from them, and examined the workers with the scrutiny and seriousness of the real predators.
‘Dad, prepare the hoes and hold them fast, I think that’s wolves,’ Mike warned also driven by an instinct of discernment.
The dad commented somewhat on the situation but still quit his work and held the hoe above the soil. But the pair of the wolves got away and ran somewhere else.
It was a strange pair of wolves. The smaller animal was surely a she-wolf by its gray hair and size. But her male was a genuine German dog that behaved surely as a wolf with all the manners and instincts that had awakened in him. Mike knew that sometimes the she-wolves seduced the regular male dogs when the wolf population got scarce in the locality. It happened the same that time with that pair that was now a common species. The German dog was undoubtedly a male by his sexual organ that could be seen from that not a big distance.
Then, Mike knew the reason why the couple were investigating the terrain. Several cubs ran down a hill towards the river at a distance of half a mile. Surely, it was to drink in that hot dry season. They were not gray but somewhat brownish, a mixture of brown and gray color. They were four or five. They ran without the fear of the ordinary wolf cubs. They were half dogs, half wolves. And, it got reflected on their behavior.
Then, when Mike pondered on that case, he thought about Jane, who by her looks and origin was a Caucasus woman, or without any reserves a Near Eastern one but for her Russian education and brining up. And, a she-wolf and a male German dog found a common language. It was an example for Mike. He also hoped for something that would help him surmount the barrier of customs and cultural traditions and maybe inbred hatred toward one another. Mike loved Jane.
But, then Mike’s friend Ricky, who worked on the same job as Jane, in the legal office of the bank, told that she was married. And, day by day, event by event Mike’s love to Jane went barren. Dogs and wolves are wiser.

The millions that should have been stolen

Once, Mike told to KGB that some men wanted to steal the big sum of money on a cash scheme in the future aluminum corporation. The plan of KGB in its turn was to take the money from the safe instead of the gangsters and to burn them with the testimony of it for the State. It was for the State Bank to issue the analogous sum of money in the new banknotes to remunerate the people who had the merits before the State. The nation would have the benefit because the newly printed some of money would be less than that that should be burnt and the inflation would be lower. But, then there was the question of what to do with the gangsters that roofed that business and wanted to steal the money and the policemen from the special forces detachment that supported them. As well as Mike recalled it afterwards they should be exterminated and it was his role because they promised to rape a girl that should be a future wife of Mike. It might be the play of the imagination but Mike heard it from the other people that he had killed the policemen from the special forces detachment and the thieves-in-law. Once, he talked with a woman to whom according to the arrangement with the intelligence office had been given the leakage of information.
‘Say, whom you work for? The aluminum tycoons or the intelligence office? Whether you forgot how you shot the policemen in the university and cut the thieves in the crazy house?’ She asked.
Mike did not understand what she talked about owing he recalled nothing of the business. But, after some time he recalled what had happened. Still, it could be just a dream. He recalled that a girl in the university had said to a question what did worry her that some bandits wanted to rape her. She said she prepared a pack of cigarettes with the ganja to smoke after it and die. Mike said he would protect her and smoke the drug instead of her provided she would pay with her own body for that. Word by word, Mike smoked himself into a warrior and when the gangsters arrived for the girl. It was for some business connected with the work of her uncle as the doctor for the drug addicted. Mike crashed the jaws and bones of the gangsters under the doping recalling the special techniques, which the dad had taught him in the childhood as much as he had known them himself from the time of the army service in Vietnam. He took them hostages and made the special forces detachment of the city to storm the building. He killed many of them, and even one time he came out of the building for a quick shooting. Still, he was afraid afterwards that it was just the play of his imagination because he recalled nothing for sure. If it was for him to decide he would say that it was just an unaccomplished dream. Then, when he was in the crazy house, the gangsters arrived to find out who stole the money instead of them and how Mike was related to that. They proposed to play black jack for Mike’s ass, but he agreed to play for the life. All in all, he cut out the thieves almost in the same way as he had killed the Tadjik gangsters in the kindergarten. He also killed the policemen special forces detachment from the city where the crazy house was situated that tried to storm the building. However, Mike might bet his last money afterwards that it was just a dream no matter what they said in hints and half words about that.
‘Did you visit the club of sharpshooter in your town?’ Once asked Valero, the student of the group in which Mike studied in the law school.
‘No,’ Mike said, ‘but the dad once gave me to shoot from a shotgun when we went to the taiga for the nuts.’
Valero laughed, ‘So, you shoot so well only under the ganja?’
Mike did not know what to answer being afraid that the young man wanted to make fun of him. He was afraid that he should be ashamed for his imagination afterwards having claimed to be such a hero. All the same, the wife of the pastor once exclaimed that Mike had tortured the special forces detachment policemen. The mother of the pastor objected and said that her daughter-in-law did not know what there had been in the town before Mike. Mike felt himself as a guest on his own marriage party. He did not know whom to believe. Still, he did not remember that for sure. All he recalled he saw what he had done in his memory as though he saw it from the side. His psychiatrist doctor, a woman, even asked why Mike had killed the four years old boy. Mike recalled then that he killed a boy that distracted his attention when the policemen stormed the building but he wanted to believe it was just a dream.

Psychiatrist

When Mike happened for the first time in the crazy house he was called to the doctor and interrogated by her. She said about the things Mike did not remember: that he had raped the women and killed the men. Mike might not recall that.
‘So, the time came for you to answer for your sins. So early in your life. Rarely, a man can commit so many sins even when he is eighty years old. But, you are brought to answer in the age of twenty. Answer at least why you blew up the Chernobyl atomic station.’ The woman pronounced.
Mike could not make any sense of what she had asked. He thought it was a play and she tested him, ‘Maybe I said that I had done it?’
‘No, it is written here that you did it,’ the doctor said.
Still, Mike could not make any reasonable conclusions of all that because he recalled nothing of what she said.


A friend in need

Really, Mike did not have close friends. Somehow his relations with his classmates did not got built properly and he just communicated with them by hello and goodbye, exchanging views only in the school and never inviting them home in the last grades of the school, even on birthdays. It was partly because Mike hoped that he would have many good quality friends in the university. But, there only the hostel boys accepted him. But the hostel boys drank much. Mike on his turn was a dry law observer. So, their views on the life did not match with those of Mike. The city boys did not put much value on Mike’s person and did not invite him to their homes and present to the parents as a friend. The booze parties of the student groups Mike did not visit. So, Mike was friendless, except for Chuck, his roommate in the hostel. But, after a year in the hostel Mike left it to live in the flats of the acquaintances of his parents and then a relative old lady. So, Mike did not have friends. Max, who was his last hope as a good quality friend, turned to be an enemy after Mike had quarreled with his in the process of going crazy. He regretted much of this lost opportunity of a good friendship. And he was now a wrack and ruin.
At that time Jack came into Mike’s house. He surely offered a friendship and communication. But, Mike was yet full of vanity no matter that he was declared crazy and wanted to study the full time not spending it on such things.
‘I’ll come from time to time,’ concluded Jack the talk about Mike and that he had not friends.
‘But, don’t do it too frequently,’ said Mike full of vanity.
Jack did not show he was insulted but in his home he said to his own mom that it seemed like Mike was real crazy because he had said like this. But, after some time Mike and Jack became real friends. Then, Jack acquainted Mike with Tom also a jobless guy. Mike felt that he got the member card of the club of losers. It was painful for him, because really he was ambitious, and to know that he was now with downs and outs made him unhappy. However, time passed on. Mike got into a routine of a jobless and hopeless life subsisting on a pension from the State he got as invalid. But, Mike hoped for revenge. He learned English, read the books and journals in it. It made him interesting for Jack, who also began to study English a bit to read the names of the songs and music groups. Jack was a big music listener. He initiated Mike into listening the rock-n-roll and other kinds of music. Mike accepted Jack’s musical tastes and followed them. After some time Mike became the same kind of individual contemplating the world as Jack was himself. They would talk much about life, girls, politics, economics and especially sport that Jack advertised much to Mike. They often dropped to one another or strolled along the lanes of the island park and from time to time went on the bank of Jenisej river. They would play poker during endless evenings listening country music and dreaming of emigrating to US. Sometimes they prepared the sauna in Mike’s household and then their conversations got even more idle. With all this, Jack liked to say that his personal motto was to throw a challenge to the demonic forces of the nature.
Once Jack lay on the green grass in the evening of an early summer day on the bank of the river and said, ‘You know, Mike, I’m a child of nature. If I get a rotten tooth, I’ll suffer till it gets rotten out completely and will not go to the doctor. And, if I got appendicitis I will die as a wolf as if there was no civilization. Yea, I say you seriously.’
Then, Jack came to Saint-Petersburg and only from time to time Mike called him by phone or vise versa. Mike often wandered on the same lanes among the trees and sat in the same places as they had visited with Jack. He would recall about his friend and a deep feeling of nostalgia arose in his soul.

Picnic

That day Jack took the Russian jeep from his job to make a ride into the forest, to the Dacha Lake. Jack did not like his job of the extinct business of rural cinematography. His work obligations were to visit the rural cinema theaters and drop the cans with the films over there. Sometimes, he found them untouched after a month time. However, that day his job brought about a certain benefit. He saved the gasoline and had the possibility to organize a small travel.
Mike took his pension money and they bought some coca and chips. Mike was happy to that change in the dull way of his life consisting in the constant study of English.
They got to the lake and stopped in front of it on the bank. It gave a good scenery. For Mike it was something new that his life of sickness brought about.
They began to talk. About politics, economics and girls. They were not aged yet enough to be called losers in the absence of the means of life. Any deficiency in their personal statuses could be transferred to the account of their parents as the lack of care for their kids. So, to accuse the girls of being the sluts because they slept and made friends with the rich boys was full of sweet pain of the inequitable wrong caused to them. The same was with oligarchs and politicians. Being the children yet, though of the age after twenty, they still found the arguments to criticize those that were fortunate in life. It was again on account their parents could still be declared guilty of their absence of money and pull to make a good career and to have a good education as it was in the case of Jack. Sweet pain of the inequity of life! What can be sweeter?
Chips, coca, talks and wilderness made that autumn day a good amusement for Michael. He was happy in a sense.


Laugh

It was hard for Mike to pass it through his conscience that he was sick. His future was less connected with a possible success now when he was declared a mentally sick person. Of course, it was caused by the hard learning and obstinate sexual forbearance but Mike did not understand it. He could not realize that the situation might be put right once he would pay more care to his own health. All Mike knew was that he had put his foot a wrong way and what he could do now was to continue the road on which he had got tripped by the illness. He wanted to study more and more to have more professional skills to somehow justify his mistakes. It only added the strain. It was too much for being sound. All that was left to Mike was the pain and anguish. And, it only doubled because he felt that the people around derided his problem. Once, he was near the faculty wardrobe and asked for his sheepskin coat. There was the problem with the coat. It had been necessary for the mom to sew a kind of lining to the sheepskin coat because the sheepskin had begun to lose its hairs. The smallest importance the problem really had, Mike felt himself even ashamed because of the defect of his clothes. It seemed to him that all people around took it with a bad and cruel kind of humor. To make it worse, Mike had to take the pills for his mental sickness, that is to be able to continue the forbearance which was the only way for him to struggle with the humiliation of being lonely in his age. It made him be a kind of drunken as if he drank alcohol, the same way. And, that time, he stood near the wardrobe taking his sheepskin coat. He was full of the fear, pain and complexes of the youth. The pair of the girls of his year from the law school also took their coats. First, they tried to keep their laugh. Then, not able to do it they laughed. Mike felt acute pain. Still, he kept calm exteriorly. They hurried to get away with their coats to don them and trim themselves before the mirrors that hang on the pillars of the hall. Mike himself understood why they had laughed. He had always tried to be original, not like all others. They even had given him a nickname “Jew” for his isolated kind of existence in the university. All he had done before he had got sick had been to study and communicate little. He lived as a gray mouse, but tried to get a kind of self-respect for his asceticism. It had irritated his fellow students of the law school. Mike had known he had been higher in a way and they had envied him for his assiduity in the studies as a token of future success. And now, he had got in a lurch and they all were happy because their own theory of life was proved to be true. Maybe, they understood that Mike’s manner of existence was the reflection of his poverty and not being capable to win the love of Tina, the girl he loved. But, now he suffered much due he was sick and he knew they made fun of it. He himself and they that were around and felt happy because Mike was unhappy, hardly knew that Mike’s problem was a fight for the survival and his own portion in life, which he deemed to must be bigger than among others owing he invested more. Then, he still did not recall about the girls and his feat of eating the army vaccines against the bacteriological war in the stead of his father. The act he had committed having been four years old. His sickness of sexual abstinence was not yet realized by him as the only way to fight the microbes that lived in him. It seemed to him that his mental illness was incidental one resulting of his own mistakes. The successful life seemed to be ended. He did not know that his life was subordinate to a strict logic of survival and struggle for his own share in the life.

German captivity

Why the granddad Peter told all that story about his German captivity? An acquaintance of Mike needed the material for a diploma work in the university. So, it was a kind of order. And, Mike took an interview from his granddad Peter.
Old Peter started his story from the moment when they had been put into the military wagons. He was already the veteran of the Finnish War and did not believe in the Stalinist propaganda of a quick war of the little blood on the territory of the enemy. He was a middle aged man and had already a pair of daughters. So, they found fast the common language with the sergeant in the charge of the whole band of the soldiers in the wagon. They hid under a bench as if to look at a machine gun for his repair state and drank a bottle of the red wine the sergeant offered to Peter. As the sheep for the slaughter they were carried into the meat grinder of the war. After about a week the echelon stopped in the open field and the officers told all them to get out of the wagons and go on the feet all the way toward the death. They stopped near a river. A pair of the officers told that the soldiers had to make a kind of the barrier against the tank forces of the enemy. They made big steps on the slope of the river bank as if it could prevent a tank from forcing the river as the obstacle. After all was prepared they commanded them to leave it all and go by a march to an open steppe and be prepared for a battle. Peter was the head of the machine gun command. They even did not have the time for dig-outs to be prepared. The artillery of the enemy began to work on the targets and in a certain time almost nothing was left of the detachment to witch Peter belonged. His pair of fellow soldiers that were occupied with the machine gun were killed by the fragments of the exploding shells and the machine gun itself was now no good itself. So, Peter had nothing but to hide in a grove of the birch trees.
The German soldiers understood where was the hiding place for those who eluded the death of the firing splinters originating from the German cannons. A heavy tank began to ride across the small birch grove and to squeeze off the hiding Russian soldiers. Thus, not to die under the caterpillars of the death machine of the German production they had to get out from among the trees and surrender.
The German made them all that were captured to work in the repairing of the rail way in a certain place of the Soviet Union now occupied in a big part by the enemy. Peter in a moment of remembrances saw his wife Mary and daughters deep in Siberia. He missed them. He pondered on their life supporting his body on the shovel that was his, inclining forward on it with his both hands and chin. Suddenly, an old German soldier began to go on Peter and lifting his rifle on the level of his chest cocked it.
‘Judas,’ pronounced the old veteran to the face of the poor Russian captive.
He saw his big nose in the profile and his curling black hair and was now sure Peter was a Jew.
‘No Judas, no Judas!’ Began to cry the other captives and ran to the place throwing off their shovels and crowbars.
Peter saw the prospect how the old German soldier, maybe the veteran of the First World War, might just have pulled the trigger and sent a bullet into his chest. But, the Lord spared him.
Then, when the frosts came they began to die one by one in the old church that served as a jail for them all. Peter was very fortunate to find a place in the top bunks of the church, and they kicked down those who tried to oust them off that warmth, then they buried in the snow their frozen bodies.
Thus, Peter happened in the German State as it had been predicted by a fortuneteller many years ago.
‘You will be abroad, but not by your will,’ had said the wise man.
Once, when the affairs on the Russian front were very good for the German military forces a man recruiting the captives into the divisions of the traitors called Vlasov’s army by the name of the general that betrayed Stalin and passed over to Hitler approached a pair of the friends in the striped clothes, who were worn out by hard work and hunger. He persuaded that it was already all over with the Soviet Union and that the only reasonable choice was to chop the jail clothes for the German uniform to have the merits when all should have been over with the Stalin Empire. But, instead of committing themselves into that pledge of allegiance to the Hitler, the weary, dirty and pale prisoners of war, passionately persuaded their former countryman that the Russia will win, they argued and stood on their oath of faith they had given by kissing a red battle banner many years ago as young and tender soldiers recruited for the time service. That way it all ended.
Then, Peter had to tell that he was a mechanic and it saved him from a death of famine because they sent him for a qualified job into the farming branch of the German economy. But, when the affair on the eastern front changed sour for the Hitler army, all the prisoners of war alive to that time were sent into the concentration camps where they worked along with the German people that sympathized with the communist ideology and so were not reckoned to be reliable for the Hitler State. The freely hired Germans called Peter ‘Peter the Commissar’ for his crawling propaganda of socialist system. The German miners loved Peter for his skills and faithful heart.
When Peter was very hungry, he sewed the shopping bags out of the tarpaulin of the broad bands that conveyed the ore along the tunnels and were old and no use now. They gave him the bread for it. It was illegal, but the Lord blessed it.
Then, almost at the end of the war the German authorities tried to dispose of the prisoners of the war and on the way to the gas camera Peter with his friend fled into the bushes and then hid in a barn, under the roof where the hay was conserved. They did not drink or eat for the eight days. Their tongues got swollen in their mouths. An Ukrainian woman that was forcefully transported to Germany for the coercive works gave them a pitch of the boiled milk and said that they had to live the farm because otherwise there had been given an order that all those who gave refuge to the runaway captives should be executed by the death penalty.
The friends had to hide in the mines provided the bombing of the Allies (Anglo-American military forces) began. The earth shook and the dust and stones fell down off the ceiling of the tunnel where they had hid. Then, they knew that the American and English troops were on their offensive and now the territory was occupied by them. It was on the outskirts of Dortmund.
The friends and the other runaways that had been hiding in the mines got on the surface and ran toward the approaching American or English tanks, and the tank men threw from their heavy machines the cakes and other food to support the hungry former captives.
What had been before all it. They kept them all in the cages of the barbed wire. Each detachment in a cage. The cooks who betrayed them all and ate the main part of their portion all during the war were fat and strong, they were of no interest for the German now. The pale dirty wan faces of the prisoners expressed the acute hatred for those fat men. They wanted to kill and tear them, but they had no forces. But, those soldiers who got into the German captivity not far ago made the holes under the barbed wire and penetrated from one cage to another, two or three guys, and killed the fat cooks with their hands and boots, jumping on their throats and faces at the support and encouragement of the scraggy prisoners.
By the statistics, only one of a thousand from those that got into the German captivity in the first year of the war did live through the whole of it. Peter was thus lucky. But, now there was another risk. The Americans and Englishmen were also the enemies now, the imperialists. Peter fled once from the commandant’s headquarters when the American officer had got out of the room for some purpose. He did it through the window. Then, once he jumped out of the box of the English truck when he had been picked up as a vagabond former prisoner of war. It was when the truck had to change for the lower gear before ascending on a place where the road went up hill.
It was hard to recall when they had nearly killed him because he wanted to eat a fresh mushroom that he picked up after he had spotted it by a pretence to need to squat down for a call of nature. It was prohibited to pick any berries or mushrooms. All they had had to do had been to collect the forest garbage. The jailer broke off a piece of the tree root and belabored Peter for all it. The man was bloody and feeble after the hard knocks. But, he went after the rest of the prisoners because if he had fallen down they would have shot him. The God saved him.
They tried to rebel and conspired a plot but it was in vain because somebody sneaked out the whole affair and the German fortified the custody by a double line of the soldiers on the watch towers.
Then, he finally was transferred to the Soviet military authorities. They prepared a party of the prisoners to return home into the Soviet Union and Peter tried to run uncaught into that part of the prisoners picked up by the officer. But, the small officer noticed it and ordered him to come out before the line.
‘You always run away from your luck while the luck chases you,’ were his words.
They were under Moscow when the Parade of the Winning and salutes took place at the capital of the Soviet Union. There was no part for them all in that festival of conquest.
For some time he had to work in the prison camps of the Soviet Union to serve the debt before the fatherland. It was better than in Germany. In Germany they gave them only the boiled rinds of beets and potatoes while the vegetables themselves were given to captive Frenchmen, Englishmen and Americans.
Peter worked on an engine that rode on a small railroad that originated from a place near a pit. Again he was occupied with the ore. The engine was bad and they did not turn the ignition out but changed the operators by the shifts making the engine to work all day round. But, once it choked up and stopped. Peter knew that it was his end if he did not make it start again. He would have been shot down as for a subverting. But, the engine obeyed and began to work again. The Lord saved Peter once more.
What was in the heart of the Peter all those years of German captivity? Mary. He missed her. And, now telling the tale of his captivity he wept and his old wife rebuked him for the lack of masculinity.
‘Who will pay me for all it? Only if they paid me for all it, but simply to tell it…’ Regretted old Peter.
Then, already after his death, they had promised compensation to the heirs of such men but they did not pay. The only what his family now knew for sure was that he really had been in the German captivity. His medals were all his payment and an addition to the pension payments. And, he took his jubilee medals and orders with him into his tomb (having no battlefield ones), maybe to show to the Lord in the day of judgement.

Cherremsha

The cherremsha is a grass alike to the wild garlic that is used in the Siberian kitchen. Once, Mike heard a story about that grass from his granddad Peter. It was when he boasted to him that they had given him the coupons for the free meals on the sum of five hundred rubles in the university coffee shop. He said he could even buy the Coca-Cola bottles with those coupons. The granddad said it was fine and told a story about the time when he had been in the army and had served in the railway troops. They had given him the coupons to be fed in the railway station coffee shop. When he had come there all he could see on the shelves was the cherremsha. In the menu, there was the salad from cherremsha, the soup from cherremsha, the boiled cherremsha, only the cherremsha. He had asked if at least he could buy with the coupons the pies with cherremsha. The bartender had said to him they had been sold out already.

Envy

Michael visited his sick granddad Peter. He had a cancer of the gullet. But, they said to him it was a stomach ulcer. Mike himself was diagnosed with the schizophrenia. A life long time of the anguish and suffer seemed to be ahead to Mike. He talked with his granddad and envied him in the same time. All was clear in the life of his granddad Peter. He lived a life and now had to die. He had many things to recall. His life could be called successive. Michael, on the contrary, had spoiled his life once and for all it seemed to him at that day. Mike might be called crazy. However, for Mike it was not crazy at all to envy his granddad sick with cancer.

Kulak

Once, Mike’s old granddad Peter told him a story about a man who was declared a kulak (the wealthy anticommunist peasant) in their village. As always, it was after he drank a few small glasses of the vodka.
‘There came a telegram into the rural soviet that they gave us a norm of a kulak to be sent to the exile and bereft of the property by the confiscation. Thus, we pondered over whom should be declared the kulak. Our village was a poor one and nobody had more than one cow or horse. So, on the first view we could see no kulak among us. Then, somebody recalled that Gregory had hired a worker last spring to fix the fence. There was a paper of the registering of the contract with the worker in the rural soviet on that occasion. The choice fell on him and all voted for him to be a kulak. He was sent up north while his property was confiscated.’ The grandfather narrated. ‘He lost all because of a paper and a day duration work of the hired man.’

Matters of order

It was in the village where Mike’s grandparents live. Namely, on their farm. A pussycat had brought several kittens. It was in the summer. She had delivered them in the mess of the old things under the penthouse. The kittens did not communicate with the human beings around. When they saw somebody they ran away and hid in the heap of old trash. They got out only to eat and drink from the plate where the pussycat herself ate. When they got old enough the granddad chose two black ones and skinned them. Mike saw how he did it in the corral. It was the pay of the food they had eaten. He wrapped the skins around the salt stuffing and laid on the shelve under the penthouse. The time passed and the moths ate up the wool on the dried skins. The granddad had finally to dispose of the old good for nothing skins. Probably, it was the influence of the four years in the German captivity. The imprint of the German discipline and order on the Russian character of leaving all matters to the chance and occasion.

Paratroopers

It was July, the hay collection season. And, the working hands were in need. That way the dad recruited the paratroopers that lived with the military officers from the same regiment in the hostel of the collective farm during the summer. It was a pair of nineteen years old boys that served on the timely basis for free. They had on the old camouflage uniforms with many patches. On the dinner break, the soldiers wondered at the chance to eat the lard.
‘They don’t feed you enough?’ Mike asked.
‘When I arrived into the regiment from the other one in the Far East for the bad behavior, they gave the pearl-barley porridge on the dinner. I refused because I thought they would give some other thing on the supper like it had been in the previous place. But, on the supper, they gave us the same stuff, I refused again. All the same, the next day I again received the pearl-barley porridge. I have eaten the pearl-barley porridge for already half a year without interruption. Our regiment in Abakan is a kind of the penal battalion among the paratroopers’ regiments. We have to work here on the collective farm that the officers had a chance to pass the vacation in the country.’ The soldier told.
‘What you are occupied with down here in that village?’ Mike gratified his curiosity again.
‘We make develop the local agriculture. Namely, pick up the seed heads from the onion in the fields, along with the children from the orphanage house.’ The young soldier answered with a sly smile. ‘It’s a kind of stimulation for the merits that they brought us here.’
‘Are there the violence of the second year recruiters toward the first year ones?’ Mike demanded.
‘Nope, they are not interested in anything, so there’s no such relations. But, there’s the violence of the officers in respect of the soldiers. Last time, some soldiers beat the officers that live here, and the next day a group of the officer arrived from Abakan to belabor those guys with the fence spars.’ The other soldier related.
‘How many times you’ve jumped with a parachute?’ Mike asked from the paratrooper that was leaner.
‘Not one time. The government does not give any money for that.’ The young man said.
‘But, you’ve shot with the machinegun?’ Mike asked.
‘Yea, I already see the machinegun my dreams in the night. We’ve on the polygon almost every week.’ The soldier responded.
‘But, why you’ve got clothed like vagabonds? In those patched uniforms?’ Mike asked.
‘The last time, the soldiers that were before us exchanged the new uniforms for the liquor that is why they gave us the old ones.’ The burlier soldier replied.
Mike recalled that one of the soldier had said that his left arm ached, so he asked him, ‘You said your left arm aches. You hurt it?’
‘Yea, the policemen nearly broke it when they hung me by the hands to a hook the way to cause the pain. It was because they wanted to make me confess that time when I stole the water pumping electric motor.’ The burly soldier answered.
It seemed to Mike that there were no other questions necessary to realize what the life of the soldiers was in the modern Russian army.
Then, when Mike had to ride the car into the hostel to bring the soldiers home, one of them, that who was leaner, asked a permit to drive the car. He said he never tried. Mike gave him a chance to drive the car on a lower gear. The soldier was happy and vowed loudly. The working day was over and the soldiers said they would go to the dances to the disco club.

Provocation of crime

When Mike was four years old yet and happened to be in the police office they have jocularly half seriously talked about Mike’s future collaboration with the police.
‘Mike, what you offer in our heavy deal of fighting the crime?’ the policemen asked.
‘You should provoke the criminals to attempt to commit a crime and catch them before they have the time and chance to commit it fully, not to allow them to cause the damage. You will not be guilty because you knew there was no crime meant to be committed really, but they are guilty for trying commit a crime, and you can put them in jail.’ Mike offered.
The policemen laughed, ‘If they only allowed us to provoke to attempt to commit the crimes and catch the criminals before they do it. They say that’s illegal.’
‘But, it’s legal,’ Mike objected.
‘Will you make such a theory for us to provoke the crimes and to catch the dangerous guys we cannot collect no evidence against because the people are afraid to be the witnesses?’ the officer asked.
‘Yea,’ Mike said and they shook hands.
Then, when Mike was adult and studied in the law school he elaborated the theory of the provocation of crime that would make the work of the police more effective. The essence of it was in the point that it was not necessary to wait until the criminals would commit new murders and thefts to try to collect more evidence against them to punish them for already committed crimes. The idea was to artificially create the attempt to commit a crime on the part of the criminals and then catch the criminals with the all evidence available before the crime was really committed and the damage caused. It was possible because the attempt to commit a crime was prepared by the policemen and they would have enough time and chance to provide the evidence, such as the audio and video materials and other. Maybe, Mike did not invent anything new but he made the strict legal theory for already existing activity to make it more effective. For example, it was possible not to artificially falsify the evidence of a bribe which was a crime but to make the guilty official to attempt to take the bribe really and catch him flat-footed and red-handed. It could be used a false threat, insult or other stimulus for the person guilty in the previous not proved crimes to attempt to commit the new crime and be caught. Still, Mike argued that it was necessary to prohibit such an activity for the private persons because they could provoke to attempt to commit a crime the persons who were not guilty in the previous crimes. The paradox was that the people who brought the not fully accomplished crime into the existence by a provocation, strong or weak, would not be guilty because they knew the crime would not be accomplished. They did not attempt to commit a crime but provoked the other person to do so and come under the penal responsibility. They could dispose of the people in such a way. It was a strict and complete theory. Still, they did not let Mike to come abroad and study in USA or Britain. Maybe he did not enough of academic work and achievement or else it had been arranged that he would stay in Russia for the time of sickness.


Ambulance trip


The Indian summer rendered last days of sunshine and warmth. But for Mike, it was the days of inebriation of craziness and oblivion in the world of dreams. He was always merry and did not sleep for almost two weeks. Mike used to visit a restaurant where he played the pool and felt happy to be more in the life of bohemia of the sort to be longed for by a student of the fourth year in the university. The mom kept her patience but in the end she called for an ambulance. The group of the medical staff from the nearby station arrived to declare their professional opinion that Mike was crazy again. Mike had worried much for his sick brother who was in the jail on penal investigation and it turned out to much stress and too heavy strain in thinking of some legal papers to bail Nick out. So, after some nonsense they talked like Mike’s blood pressure was too high they proposed a shot of the strong medicine. Mike obediently lay down on the bed and exposed his left arm vein after which a complete darkness came upon him.
Then, Mike’s mom told that she decided to go to the psychiatric asylum on the territory of her own district because he had already visited that hospital for mentally sick persons. The staff there already knew what Mike was like. She paid for the extra gasoline and fifteen miles trip began. On the way Mike turned green as an unripe fruit. The nurse and a pair of medical brothers as they call such people in Russia began to speak with Anastasia on some not related to the case in the view topics to divert her attention from the greenish physiognomy of her son. Finally, the ambulance van got to the hospital and a pair of hospital medical brothers took Mike under his arms to carry him up the fifth floor, which was the last of the building.
Mike returned into his sense and asked the natural question, ‘You are the angels and lift me up to heaven?’
‘Yea, sure, we’re angels.’ They said.
Mike looked better and said, ‘You are no angels, you are the medical orderlies.’
‘You begin to reckon right.’ One of them commented.


Azerbaijanian girl

The winter made the halls of the hospital the only suitable place for communication. The people became closer to one another by the natural way of the things in the February season. Mike passed his time in a hospital where they should examine his back much damaged in a religious dispute while the angry people had battered with a brick upon his spine bones far away in the childhood. Mike kept dry on sexual pleasures for already much time and constant taking the pills helped him subdue the calls of the flesh. All the same, he was not in a normal condition. He made friends with the patients with so easy approach that not knowing it was a syndrome of the mental disturbance all thought Mike was an adolescent when he was already twenty-two. He read the short stories of some fantasy writer and played chess or cards. Then, he made friends with an Azerbaijanian girl. She told that her first man she loved as a girl in naturally a platonic way was killed in a mob settling down of scores. She also told that she would marry only an Azerbaijanian man. She was fifteen.
‘Would you suck the leftovers after your husband as they say you Azerbaijanian women do?’ asked Mike a question to create a joke.
‘Yea, sure, I will,’ she answered.


Roxanne and her boyfriend

It is a story of a girl who studied in the same law school as Mike, in the same student group. She was from a district center of the Khackassia. Still, she did from the beginning put herself as part of the regional capital establishment in the scale of the juridical faculty of the university. It seemed like it was Ok with her parents and especially the father in whom she found much comfort. She was much emancipated, visited the disco clubs for dances and fun. Roxanne, as was her name, showed the photographs on which she was pictured with some boys. And, on the question of Mike if she had had a friend she said that she had had friends which as much inferences as you can take of that phrase. Anyhow, Mike was from a different sort of the humanity for Roxanne as she did not hesitate to show with all her sympathy she had for Mike.
Once when Mike was in a swimming pool as part of the physical culture course, he tried to be as natural as it seemed proper for him and he swam a bit closer to the pair of girls, the girl friends, Roxanne and Julia, the last being the native girl that afterwards dated Mike’s friend Steve for some time to make him lose himself for the rest of his life. But, the girls swam off Mike to keep the distance and to show that Mike was no peer with them and they did not want to spot their reputations with such a closer acquaintance. It was unusual and strange and Mike was really offended by all that. It was but to show off their disregard for the image of Mike: poor and industrious. Maybe, they wanted the romance with somebody rich and less occupied with the study, for whom all would be assured by his parents. So, Mike swallowed the stuff. It was the time when Mike did not have a definite taste for the female beauty. Roxanne was much like a woman with her broad hips and rather pretty face and it was what Mike needed of a girl to start a love affair. But, the girls hurried to show to Mike that he was not welcomed even out of all sense proof occasion as it was.
Then, Mike just studied and earned a name as a man who thought much of the future. On a trip from one of the buildings of the university to the other across the city, Mike happened to come up with Roxanne and Julia again. It was already the end of the first year of the study in the law school. It turned out that that time they did not avoid his company, at the contrary they tried to encourage Mike as much as they could.
‘Michael, try to study the languages. You will have a success in it with your ability for the study.’ Said Roxanne.
‘Yes, Mike, try to study French, for example. All the same you have to pass an exam on it.’ Added Julia.
‘Or, better English, it’s nowadays the language of international communication.’ Was the advice of Roxanne.
‘The granddad of Roxanne worked as a teacher in England, because he knew the English,’ related Julia. ‘Roxanne, tell him about your granddad.’
‘Yes, he lived in London before he arrived to USSR,’ Roxanne said.
‘But, how he happened to have been in England?’ Mike asked.
‘He was a White Guard officer during the Civil War and had to flee into China first and then to England. There he taught something in a school… Mike, really, try it, you will surely succeed. Study the languages. You have the aptitude for it.’ Roxanne gave the same counsel again.
‘Hmm,’ Mike gave his feeling on it. ‘Perhaps I will try.’
It was surely a token of respect, sympathy and belief in Mike’s ability on the part of the girls, especially Roxanne. But, then when Mike got sick and everybody tried to persuade him that it all was the effect of his hard study and mainly that of the languages, having no reference to his sexual forbearance as a possible cause of all the trouble as Mike proved for himself later. Then, Mike thought that the advice of the girls to study the languages not backed up by any personal support was fatal one for him, just the one to end him. Anyhow, all terminated in a way to leave much hope and real believe for the happiness in the future.
But that is just a prehistory. The information to have a vision of what Roxanne was like. The real plot consists in her love affair or better to say the settling of her personal ambitions with a boy, who was both rich and prospective as it seemed. It was the time of the wild primary capitalism in Russia, and all the girls believed in the pull, nepotism and ‘hairy hand’ (as the Russian say about the shadow influence). That is why no matter that the boy was not successful in the study, he was deemed to be one of a serene future full of complacency. Anyway, as the facts stood, he was the son and heir of an influent man, the head of the administration of a district of the nearby region, which Mike himself originated from. That man was the businessman, but first of all he began his career as a gangster, racketeer and criminal. He was the friend of Mike’s elder brother Nick, who in that time already was off the criminal trade. It was so because their gang leader and criminal authority Plasterer was killed in a war for the influence over the trade of the aluminum and the control of the plants that produced that metal. The last was a real leader of the mob. He passed away in much machine gunning and bomb explosions along with the rest of the regional criminal elite in a scrap with the Muscovite groups that had taken over all the aluminum trade with much of the support of the federal men. So, Nick and the rest of the gang, being young and having no credentials of the real criminal world had to gear down abruptly in the scale of their affairs. It meant in reality to go straight and legalize. The same was with the father of Andrew as was the name of the Roxanne’s boyfriend. Andrew once borrowed the dad’s expensive Mercedes to show off, but usually he wheeled around in a good Japanese car. Of what else a Russian girl or maybe any other girl might dream in her seventeen? Roxanne opted for Andrew.
Andrew could not evade being a simpleton even to reckon with all the luxury of his family assets. Of course, he had due aplomb and was quoted much higher in the common student opinion than Mike, having all the necessary attributes of the future New Russian (that is New Rich in plain English). A chin unshaved for a couple of days and a key of the car in his pocket which more than compensated for the poor marks in the study as was the view of the student society. He addressed Mike as somebody inferior that by the go of the matters should serve him, for instance, in the solving of some mathematical problem. Then, Mike got sick and had to leave the university for some time. In the meantime the following happened. Andrew’s father, who was at that time the head of the district administration, had also the gasoline stations business. He had a competitor. And, by his mentality that was much influenced by the years he had passed in the criminal world, drove him to a solution to end with the problem of having an economic adversary in a simple and quick way: he hired a killer. Thus, he ordered the death of his rival, another gasoline trader and the possessor of the gas stations. But, the killer, who had just a photograph of the targeted man, mistook his unfortunate driver that had gone out of the some building first to get into the car for the businessmen himself. He shot with the machine gun to assassinate the poor driver. The providence had in its intention to have a police car that rode just by the place and they caught the killer flat-footed. When the killer had found that he killed the driver instead of the man that had been ordered for his services, he got in such a condition of his soul that confessed all he knew. The police first arrested Andrew’s father having all the evidence and the main witness and accomplice in their hands. Then, they arrested his wife, Andrew’s mother, who whether in the heat of passion or rather by being accustomed to solve all the problems with the law by money had offered a bribe to the investigating officer, or somebody else. The third member of the family who was arrested was the elder sister of poor Andrew, when on a stop and check by the police they had found the heroin in her car. After all, the last on whom the Lord had His anger applied was Andrew himself whom they put under the criminal investigation for riding down a woman by his car. The final was that all the property of the family was confiscated to the profit of the State. Andrew, now poor and profitless, was sent to a colony-settlement, a Russian penitentiary institute that is really a settlement in which a person convicted should live and work on a certain State enterprise. He was sent there for five years as was the sentence of the court. But, the amnesty came and they let him out to have enough time to study in the same course with his own group. It was just before Mike got to study and make up for his absence during several months also. Thus, in a certain way, the fates of Mike and Andrew coincided on that period of time, because Mike himself passed some weeks in the madhouse and then was off his study in an academic vacation as was the term. But, Roxanne stayed faithful to Andrew. Whether it was by the alloy of the noble bringing up in her family that had originated from an officer of the Russian king army, or simply by the fact that Roxanne had a heart and conscience, but she stayed with Andrew. Maybe she was just obstinate. However she was true. Perhaps, Andrew was now the heir apparent who knew the secret of the hidden family treasures. Which should be put under a certain doubt. Still, their presence was felt just by the fact that Andrew continued to study and it required the rather big money. Maybe, it was the friends or former debtors; nonetheless, that did not change the essence of all it much. All the same, Roxanne was only to praise. Mike never loved Roxanne in a strong way, simply the juvenile affection did not grow in something stronger. But, if Roxanne had now to choose again, whom would she prefer? Broken Andrew, who all the same kept at a boy, or sick Michael? Who had more prospects? And, whether the fates of both boys could be changed, if that time Roxanne did not show her disregard in the swimming pool and maybe Mike ventured for a romance with her? For Andrew it maybe would have been worse, for Mike much better, because then the idea of complete sexual abstinence would have never come into his head. But, that’s just fantasy and the analysis of the matters very close in their nature to the dirty linen. All in all, the life showed that Andrew was still quoted better. The girls put more value on his style.

Threat

Mike’s brother Nick was put into the jail while the police investigated his case before delivering it into the court for the trial. It was partly because of Nick’s former scores with the police when he was in the mob, partly because it was necessary to make a sacrifice before the angry people that were not paid their salaries in the time of the payment system crisis. The case had a tinge of being a falsified one. Maybe Nick really got something into his pockets but more surely it was just a show penal case.
Mike tried to prove that Nick could not embezzle the property because he just acted as a commercial agent and if the contrary part had some profit also it was according to the law. The main point of the accusation was that Nick cashed the letters of credit not by their nominal price but by a lower price. It was just according to the economic laws of that time because scarce cash drove down the prices on stocks and bonds. So, Mike made a lot of the papers that he sent to the Attorney General office, the governor and the president of Russian Federation. Finally Mike went crazy because of too much of the psychological strain and stress. It was hard for the police investigator to collect the evidence so the talk about a possible illegal pressure got into the circulation. What was meant by an illegal pressure was the so called ‘press house’. That was when the person detained was put into a company of the criminals that worked for the police and had no way to go out of the jail because would be killed by the mob. Those guys persuaded to sign the acknowledgement of the guilt paper or in the contrary a forced homosexual act was threatened.
Mike knew that Nick had some friends. But, you could for example say that you had had a friend, a good one, but he had been ‘put down’, so you communicate with him less and less. But for Mike Nick was a brother and he could not imagine a life when he would know that his brother was dishonored in such an ugly way.
Maybe Mike was led by an instinct, or he overheard something and held it in his back-conscience. But he went to his boss and in a friendly talk told that if something like ‘putting down’ happened to his brother, he as a lawyer knew that all the acts of the police are ordered by the investigating officer who is responsible for the case, and he would not be able just to live as usual with such a dishonor in the family, that he would meet the investigator and stab him with an knife to the back in some dark corner. Mike was sure he would not get more than three years of the term and even this in the special crazy house, which he would leave for good behavior. So, Mike was not afraid to protect his brother, who was also weak after a ski accident and several surgical operations.
Was it occasional or not but the son-in-law of Mike’s boss turned out to be the investigating officer of Nick’s case. He quit the case and then had to go to find a job up North. The case turned void of much criminal essence and Nick was put out of the jail by the amnesty on a minor accusation.
Then, Mike talked with a friend of Nick and told him the entire story, but the guy turned skeptical that a student could really threatened a police officer. But, for Mike it was no difference whom he was because the stuff was just to come into a place and stab a knife into the back of the offender. It hardly made any difference if he was a student or somebody else. Mike could not understand how such skeptical guys pretended to be the part of the mob.

Inna

Mike did not know for sure her name, whether she was Inna or Inga. Inga sounded more Jewish and sexy like Inga was herself in comparison with other girls. First time Mike saw Inga was in the university coffee shop. Inga was as gracious as a small she-goat. She even turned around for a time on one of her heels as if it was specially to be pleased by Mike. She was blond, natural blond, and with dark Jewish eyes that made her real beautiful. Maybe, she had blue eyes, it doesn’t matter: she was positively Southern type. She had a resonant voice that sounded deep to show that she was accustomed to the masculine attention from her early age. The girls of her type acquire this kind of voice to be even more impressive. It shows confidence and a strong believe in their feminine charms. Such a voice is from the early childhood intended to attract even more attention than it is naturally pre-determined by their looks. Inga was this way. Her voice was to make out its possessor from the throng. To advertise a quality goods. It called about a spirit of weakness in the hearts of men. It was a token of assumed superiority of sex influence.
So, Mike was impressed much. Such a behavior testified of the girl to be sure of herself and successful. It showed the girl definitely had no big problems. She originated from a good family and her dad worked much to support his daughter. Anyway, it was a good matrimonial prospect. Mike needed a happy and merry girl to become his mate. It could be to make his life of continual study intended to fight against the bad effects of the sickness on Mike’s personal value more colorful. Nonetheless, it was a dream, because Mike could not offer what such girls seek: an easy life of being always cheery and having much fun on the free time.
Mike had bad days. The life delivered a blow after a blow on the weakened reason of Mike. His brother got into a jail on the accusations of embezzlement. His wounds gotten in a ski accident worsened. Mike, lost much time trying to bail Nick out drawing the complains to the general attorney office, president administration and governor on the decisions of the police investigator and local authorities. Maybe, it helped. Anyhow, Nick got out after half a year on an amnesty as an invalid. But, Mike had to go into the mad house for a medical treatment not to die of insomnia, because he completely lost his sleep. So, in the fall Mike was in a rather bad shape. He was under the influence of drugs. His hard labor and achievements in the study of English and law compensated in a way for his self-esteem.
When he spotted Inga in the bar where he dropped to look on the unproblematic people, he realized it was a life time opportunity. He walked to the table where Inga sat with her girlfriend. They bought some beer and potato chips.
‘Can I sit down at your table?’ asked Mike.
‘Yea, sure, sit down,’ said Inga.
‘My name is Mike. I study in the law school the last year. And what’s your occupation?’ Mike started the conversation.
‘We’re ecologists. Second year.’ Said Inga.
‘So, you’re nineteen?’ Mike continued his inquiry.
‘No, I’m twenty one.’ Inga answered.
‘So, you passed two years out?’ asked Mike.
‘That’s a secret,’ Inga said.
‘Ok, ok, excuse me, that’s no business of mine,’ Mike conceded. ‘I’m also twenty-one. I try to get a grant to study in the USA by some programs announced by the educational funds. I study English. Yea, I even worked as an interpreter already. Now, I have a job in the local transportation company as a lawyer. My parents got an eight rooms, two storied house in Shushenskoe.’ Mike put down on the table all his trumps.
Inga nodded in an acknowledgement.
‘Now, I read a book on American humor, I could tell you a pair of laugh stories.’ Mike proposed.
‘Yea, go ahead,’ Inga said.
The waitress brought Mike his tee. He took the cup with his trembling hands. Trembling partly because of jitters, partly due to the drugs.
‘That’s a story about a sailor that got drunk and lay in a ditch almost drowning. Two MPs tried to pick him up and pull out of this roadside ditch, but the drunken sailor delivered a resistance. He said, ‘I’ll get out on my own. Leave me, save women and children first.’ Mike told the story.
Inga smiled to show her appraisal. Here, a guy approached Mike.
‘You better don’t harass the girls. You’d better left them,’ he said.
‘They did not say they were tired of my company,’ Mike said to this volunteer caretaker, who was maybe prompted by Inga’s girlfriend. ‘If they say me to leave, I’ll do it myself. I don’t bother you?’ asked Mike of Inga.
‘No, ‘tis Ok,’ Inga said calmly.
Maybe they thought Mike was a drug addict. Or else, Inga’s girlfriend was jealous because Mike concentrated only on Inga. The young knight had to quit.
‘Yea, I’ve got another laugh story. That’s about a boy, who walked up a porch on a street and tried to ring the bell, but could not reach it because he was too small. An old gentleman that strolled on the same street, walked up the steps one by one and taking the boy into his arms lifted him high enough to ring the bell. After the bell was rung and the boy was on the porch, the old man asked the boy waiting for some gratitude, ‘And, what we’re going to do now?’ To which the boy answered: ‘I don’t know what you’re gonna do now, but I’m gonna run ouda ‘ere like hell.’ Mike related the funny stuff.
The girls could not help smiling however serious they tried to look. All the same, Inga played an indulgent listener.
‘Yea, would you like to meet with me?’ Mike finally put up a question to Inga.
‘I’ve got a boy already,’ said Inga.
‘I bet he’s your first man, got a car and is a city boy?’ Mike ventured.
‘Yea,’ Inga answered.
‘Hmm, then I’ve got no chances.’ Concluded Mike. ‘But, what if I get my own advocate office, a jeep and buy you a fur coat, can I be your lover?’ Mike asked.
‘Yea, sure,’ said Inga with a smile.
‘And, you’ll bear me some children?’ asked Mike.
‘No, I’ll bear the children to my boy, because I love him. A girl and a boy. Maybe, you’d try your chances with my girlfriend. She’s from your town and is free?’ Inga passed the buck.
‘No, I have interest in you,’ Mike explained. ‘Ok, let’s meet after two years in the same time,’ Mike proposed.
Inga nodded.
‘Yea, but whether I’m not better?’ asked Mike.
‘Surely, you’re better, but I love him.’ Inga answered putting the accent on the last word.
There came a pause of about a minute. The while, Mike drank his cup of tea.
‘Do they wait for us?’ asked Inga of her girlfriend.
‘They said they would wait for us over there,’ her girlfriend answered.
‘I should go,’ Mike announced, ‘Take care.’
Mike went out of the bar. On the steps, the young knight argued with somebody his age…
The same week Mike met Inga in the university on the first floor. She talked with some boys and girls about something important, maybe that was concerning the education process. She glistened with the energy of beauty. She looked like expensive caramel candy. She was smiling when Mike caught her by his sight. There was a challenge in her eyes. Maybe, she waited for a wooing that would boost up her value. She kind of encouraged Mike to take after in a competition for the possession of her. But, Mike surely was not in a shape to bring about the intrigue in her life. He was sick and what he waited was a girl that would appreciate his efforts for the financial support of his future family. For Mike it was an axiom that well being of the family was determined by enough money. If not so, the matrimonial life was doomed for constant quarrels on the financial question. Anyhow, Mike could not compete for Inga’s heart. If she was possessed let it be this way.
What Mike needed from this feeling of love he had toward Inga? Surely, he could only hope that she would be disappointed in her first love by much exploiting her boyfriend in the process of merriment and leaving him too little time for personal achievements in career. It seemed that such a beauty would repeat what was with Tina. She would use her boyfriend’s young days for amusement then look for more mercantile bargain. Mike could be a variant then. Mike needed a love to lighten the dire time of sickness. It was to give him positive emotions. A stimulus for so hard a way forward.
Would Mike accept the role of a lover and share Inga with her boyfriend if possible? Of course, yes, because he loved Inga so much.
‘Can I be just a friend of yours, to meet with you? I don’t pretend for much.’ Said Mike in the bar when he met Inga.
But Inga refused.
So, he would say yes to such a proposal. Inga seemed to be so pure in her beauty. Mike was sure that this source of passion could not be polluted even through a sharing by two men. Mike was very weak. Anyhow, he wanted to love Inga, to pass a night with her. It was the only way. He knew that what interested Inga in him was material success. She said it clearly. Mike liked it. It gave him stamina to work harder to attain such a level of professional skills that would be compensatory enough to make up for his sickness back draft. Such a feeling seemed to be a source of sublime energy in Mike’s dull life. Mike could not take an active position in this strife for the possession of Inga. He needed much time and worked too hard now. He could not stop. However, he was sure that if he got such a love, it would be enough for his whole life. Then, he could keep still and just live in a pleasant way, go to the job and bring up kids. But, she had a boyfriend. A shadow of a success was probable only if she was free. She was occupied. Somebody took her first without much strain. Mike only knew he was somewhat older than Inga was and already had some earnings maybe. Mike himself was in a bad lurch; he even needed a sacrifice from a girl for a rescue plan. Inga could not propose it. She was too well to do.
When Mike met her, she was in a blue fur coat, if a sheep skin coat could be called this way. It was to her waist as the girls often wear. She had a short skirt, and high boots. Mike could see Inga probably was a sport girl. Mike loved this kind of body in girls. And, the more so, Inga had a pretty face. She surely was too good for Mike. All Mike could hope for was a buy on the second hand market.
So, Mike dreamed of Inga. He dreamed of her when he studied to play chess by a textbook, when he listened the music. He even started a diary. He wrote about his feeling to Inga in English. There was certain utility in it, on account nobody could read his most intimate thoughts. Inga became the girl of Mike’s dreams.
Before the time specified, Mike met her only once, again with her girlfriend originating from the town where Mike himself lived.
‘Apropos, what is your name, I forgot it?’ asked Mike.
‘Inna,’ she answered in her resonant voice to shoo any pretence for a friendly talk.
Surely, she did not like Mike’s strategy. Probably, she hoped for an all-out storm to confer a win or to declare a loss, getting some score of being demanded. Instead, she got a wearisome siege. She lost her time, and her personal affairs changed from a merry youth with a boy ready to pass much time together to a necessary marriage with a probably average man. That drove down her price. Mike simply held out. The forbearance from sexual life made Mike to get sick each year after about a month of complete abstinence. Then for a year he took pills and that kept down his flesh. After this, all began again when he met some pretty woman whom he wanted to conquer and that made his metabolism to ferment and drove him crazy. But, even more shameful than sickness was for Mike such a humiliating dependence from the beautiful women he loved. They could give a way or not. And, they gave not. Mike was always too poor and dull for a pretty girl he loved. It was with Tina, Jane, and now with Inga. So, for Mike it was a kind of contest for the sake of the truth. Anyway he could excuse himself. Even if he did not achieve a success in this total war against feminine abuse of his heart, then he could say, ‘She simply loved the other boy. That’s why I turned up a loser.’ It gave him a comfort. Like the women he loved had to vote and they voted him out of his luck. They chose the other men, and Mike simply was not fortunate enough with women. It was not because he was worse, they said he was better. Simply, he was a poor fellow, without any money for a romance with a girl and much trouble in his parents’ relations. They simply did not wait for him to get better by his own efforts. They simply looked at what Mike’s parents thought was enough and said it was not enough for a positive solution on Mike’s fate. Mike felt himself to be a sort of victim, the same as girls said about themselves to excuse them of playing harlots. They were too poor, or too rich. Even the rich ones were too poor. Now, Mike himself had this kind of comfort that he was dealt with unfairly.
Mike consecrated his life for Inga. He worked as an interpreter in the biosphere reserves with trophy hunters, scientists, writers, painters, cameramen and students. He made friends with the bosses of this system. It was also to help Inga find a job, because she was an ecologist. Then, he got a job in a suburb of the city as a lawyer of the district administration. He even got some acquaintances among big business. It was two years later of the day when Mike had met Inga in the bar. Already after Mike began to meet with Julia. He dropped in the university, found the room where she was by the schedule of courses. He looked in. The teacher made an impolite reproof. But, Mike knew Inga was there. She was blond the same. But, now her face seemed to be broader and less aristocratic. Mike waited for her to come out. He managed to keep down his heart that drummed heavily to make him giddy. Inga went out from the course room.
‘Hello,’ greeted Mike. ‘Can I speak to you?’
‘I hurry, only on the way if you like,’ she answered.
Inga was merry in the course room, but now turned serious. She went right into the university coffee shop, so Mike had about three or four minutes to talk with her.
‘I wanted to offer you a place for the internship practice in the reserve.’ Mike said.
‘I didn’t think about the practice yet. So much time ahead.’ Inga answered.
‘What office did you work in this summer during the internship practice?’ asked Mike.
‘I was nowhere. I just counted the birds in the park, and made the report on this.’ She told.
‘Yea, but what about a practice in the reserve?’ Mike went on.
‘I don’t care for the reserve,’ she answered.
She was pale. Even after the summer. She was pale even in the room, when Mike had seen her first. Now, Mike could see that really she was not beautiful. No charm was left. Simple face many girls had. Mike tried not to show his disappointment and even contempt. He made his best not to show by the expression of his countenance she was homely for him.
‘I worked as an interpreter in the reserves. I even wrote a book in English with a Swede. I just returned from taiga. The guys from the ‘Moor’ food company met some partners from Germany.’ Mike related.
This time they came to the coffee shop by a hurried walk.
‘Would you like to put down my phone number?’ Mike proposed.
‘Yea,’ she said.
Mike called the number. She put it down in her small notebook. She made the inscription ‘lawyer’ above the number…
It was another time Mike saw her was when in the winter of the same year, he decided to try finally his chances with Inga. Maybe, she just cheated and was lonely as Julia remarked once. Julia was Inga’s childhood girlfriend.
‘She’s a sport girl. We nearly drowned once on the dacha lake,’ Julia said.
So, Mike thought maybe Inga did not have any boy and just said it to keep him off. Of course, at the time it was said, there was no possibility to find it out right away if she really had a boyfriend. The affair with Julia was very hard. So, Mike wanted to clarify the matter with Inga after all. He found what room her group was in again, and waited for her. A younger student sat on the same bench with Mike and read a small book of some fiction. Maybe, he was also an admirer of Inga’s beauty? He signed deep and looked to the door of the room. Was it possible that he waited for another girl?
Inga went out in a Turkish long sheepskin coat. She had a haircut the length to the shoulders as blondes often have, with a glistening metal kirby-grip. Mike approached her.
‘Hello, how are you? I wanted to call you to a date.’ Mike said plainly knowing he had not much time, because Inga did not like to stop to talk with him.
‘You know I’m as if married. And, I’ve got a very jealous husband.’ She answered.
The girls liked to say ‘as if’ to any case where this expression was useful. It brought about a meaning of its being conditional, and so an intrigue. Many people said this way. It meant maybe a hint at ‘As if you don’t know that.’
Even after this it was a secrete for Mike whether she was married or not. Julia, whom Mike confided in at that time, said that she could cheat once more. She even could be a virgin. A believer, or sick with hepatitis. Mike even prayed for her healing.
‘You simply don’t know the women,’ Julia commented.
But, one thing was sure. Inga did not want to meet with Mike. Was she married or not. Mike had little time before she would graduate from the university and get lost. Inga said she had no phone in her family’s flat. So, Mike had no coordinates.
But, maybe, she knew that Mike was a sick man from her girlfriend that was from the town where Mike lived? Anyhow, Mike had an obstacle on his way.
A few times, he tried to meet her again on his visits to the city, to offer her his help in finding a job. But, some force stopped him, when he was already in the university. He was afraid to encounter her. So, she got lost. Only, her personal data were left in the university student register office. But, it was not legal to go into the office and ask for Inga’s data. Maybe, she was even married really?
Last time Mike saw her was when he dropped into the university just on occasion, to take the cheap tea and cakes in the student coffee shop, the possibility he did not have when he had been a student. Of course, he always hoped to see Inga, but not that time. He went to the booth where they sold office goods to buy something. At this moment he felt he was to turn around. He did it and looked. Inga prattled with her fellow female student. She had a boy haircut and jeans. All the times he had seen her before she had worn rather long hair and a skirt. Though the last was shorter than necessary. Now, it was sure that she went completely feminist. Inga turned around and hid her face. Mike did not see her countenance long enough to appreciate what way she felt. But, even without that, it was clear that she felt like she let go out of her hands something important in her life. Mike felt the wrath toward her, because she betrayed the love he had toward her. He bought his goods in the booth to show it was not for her that he had come into the university building…
Inga resembled much the signer from the group ‘No doubt’ the way Mike saw her in the clip ‘Don’t speak’. She kept the same style. And, she even said very similar words. Mike recalled what Inga said.
‘You’re good but…’
So, Mike often recalled this song of the singer whose name was Stephanie as he could see from the MTV announcement of the clip. In the song the words were better. It was like ‘Don’t speak, I don’t need your thinking, and I don’t need your reasons, don’t say me hurting words. No, no. Don’t speak, I don’t need your reasons. I know you’re good, real good. Hush, hush, darling. Don’t say me hurting words…’
Even when Mike heard this song first and saw the clip he liked the singer of the group ‘No doubt’ much. She was also blond and made please her. Mike did not know English. Only he understood the phrases ‘Don’t speak’ and ‘you’re good, real good’. Somebody explained him what it meant. The clip involved a fruit from the tree of the knowledge of the good and evil. It somehow rang the bell with the back-conscience of Mike. Mike understood that the song was about a girl who was sure that her boyfriend was good, without any reserve. The man whom she loved was good not because he should have done something, or he should tolerate some bad stuff. He was not good on account he committed some deed to prove his love. He even did say that he was bad to excuse himself from some mischief, maybe. Still, the girl opposed him and affirmed that he was good. It was surely because she loved him. She even did not let him say he was bad. And, it could be implied the man said some coarse stuff. Perhaps, the cuss words. But, she needed no confirmation of being good on the part of the man she loved. He even could be bad in the reality. Simply, she loved him. Mike knew the girls are able to love this way, if they do love. But, no girl loved Mike this way.

Love

The mom brought Mike to the psychiatric clinic to consult a doctor. It was when he studied his last year in the law school. The medical specialist turned out to be a woman. On Mike’s question of how his future life could be predicted by the experience of the woman she told the story of her own love.
‘It happened when I was on my internship in the psychiatric clinic. It happened what any woman working as a psychiatric doctor fears most in her life. I fell in love with a patient. He was a beautiful young man. I was young and felt a shame that I got such a feeling. What could be said about it? I did not show it and open myself in any way. And, now he’s a scientist with a name in physics, have a family, children and maybe grandchildren. But, I’m stuck down here without a man, family or kids. I’ve got all I thought of to be precious, my job. Sitting down here as a fool.’ She related.
For Mike it was an example that gave him the necessary self-confidence. Though, the woman turned to be cruel on appreciating Mike’s own chances for the future.


To love is to suffer?

It was a period of Mike’s life when he suffered very much. He loved three young women at once. Really, a hard burden for the heart of a young man. Especially, if to take into account that Mike never slept with any one of them. They really terminated him in a way. They hated him since the days of the childhood for his patriarch ideas and now they played it good to make him suffer in that a woman is a harlot deep in her heart and she wants to have the sexual power over as many men as possible to attract more money and pleasure, to feel oneself important. On such grounds the worldwide swingers’ club is based. One sleeps with the woman of another, because another sleeps with his woman. To make a woman be a virgin and live never betraying her husband is almost impossible.
Mike wanted to have many wives and with a condition that nobody else slept with them. That is why he was under the attack of the whole society of swingers, open or latent. Mike was against the fornication. And, the fornication was against him along with its supporters and adepts. Mike wanted an ideal and pure love, he accepted even the betrayal, no matter if he was guilty of it, or on the contrary the victim of it. But, his only principle was to meet and have sex with that woman which he really loved with all his heart and soul. Still, it was possible only with the princesses, beautiful girls that were to addition rather rich. But, Mike was poor. So, his only way was to suffer and love. Nonetheless, he did not want to have sex with the young women he did not love, those that were maybe his match, the same modest as himself and hardly able to be called pretty. For Mike it was a risk he did not want to run. To marry a woman you do not love due she got pregnant of you? The more so, Mike was afraid of abortion as a possible way to solve the problem in a case when the fruit of sex would be an obstacle on a way to get a good education, make a brilliant career and marry at last the woman of his dream, having then enough money to buy the sex with the harlots sometimes or to get a steady mistress. So, Mike kept his virgin. He was sure that the fact who would be his first woman would much influence his future life. In the end, it brought him to disaster, because the world is the world of compromises but Mike was afraid that the relations with a girl not beautiful enough would entangle him and all around him would laugh at his choice. Thus, Mike was alone until, he began to forbear of the substitute of sex and went crazy to make away with his complexes, fears and unhappy feelings. Then, Mike regretted that he did not accept the relations with a woman whom he did not love for the mere sex. But, he was afraid of the routine of the family life with a woman that is not beloved. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to become a new man free of any sexual libido, still not an impotent, able to control his sexual power. To sleep with a woman when he wanted to and not to sleep when he did not want to, or it was not in his interests, and not to need any sexual substitute at the same time. He studied much, did not drink or smoke and for the hostel girls where he lived he was a positive hero, though being all of a bad repute they nonetheless wanted him as a husband to start a kind of student family. To become a villain Mike did not want owing that with the absence of any cash except his double stipend for the excellent study, he would have ended up as an alcoholic and a bad sheep, he clearly saw it. Maybe and most probably this was the truth, he loved the princess because he was afraid of the poverty and absence of the perspective, of the routine and inevitable scandals like it was in the life of his own parents. He knew he would never conquer the princess and he really did not seriously aspire to, in that she was defiled and a virgin no more, it was a play and imitation to get a good status by hard labor and study and only then cash it all in to have the power including the sexual power. He was a fornicator in his heart as yet, but he tried to cope with it and to become a righteous man. He loved Islam because it promised the polygamy but Islam betrayed him in that its promise of the sanctified life without Jesus turned out to be a lie. The man needs a forgiveness sometimes and the grace should prevail in that it is impossible to execute the law or any moral commandments because the flesh simply is not able to do it without the Holy Spirit. But, at that time Mike did not yet accept the Christianity owing for many the Christ was considered as a payment for the fornication and evil with a guarantee of the salvation for all. And, now Mike suffered because the spiritual law killed his flesh with the help of strong medicines that caused pain. Mike wanted to communicate with somebody and to say about what was on his heart. He did not lose the hope as yet. His love to Tina, Jane and Inga seemed to him to be a source of sublime energy that drove him to continue to study English and be obstinate on his way, not being broken down totally.
On one of such days, he would meet with Natalie, the wife of his elder brother Nick when he went in her home to drink some tee. Mike told her about his love to the young women that were in his heart and that he suffered because of that love, to prove it and make the dreams come true. A man should suffer for the woman if he loved her was Mike’s opinion. For, Natalie it was an idea that made her more vivid and she really liked it. Perhaps, she had been tired of the surely enough money that Nick had paid to her as his wife before he had got in the ski accident and became a cripple for some time, surely allowing the sex on the side before all it. But, the girls whom Mike loved did not need his sufferings. They needed the money, which Mike did not have.

Uncommitted suicide

It was hard to know that from a student giving the promising hopes Mike became the patient of the crazy house. When he had risked all to get all, he had marred and had not made, as it seemed now. The ashes of the spiritual fire of the past was all that was left to him. Mike pitied much the things he lost. He pitied that perhaps he had been too proud not to accept what the life had offered him and had made a bid for more. The whole affair had burnt out. Mike even could not truly miss the things of the past due they could not be returned in any way. Mike was lost himself. He even lost his love to Tina, and tried not to recall about Jane, who had ended him. Only in the nights when he fell asleep he returned to the happy world of the dreams where he could meet again Tina and the other students of the law school. Only there he could be happy. That’s why he loved the night very much. He would get into the bed at four or five PM and stand up only in twelve AM passing the sleepless hours in the oblivion of slumber that shifted him from the pain of the reality.
Everybody said that Mike was no good now. That he was invalid for the rest of his days. Only his dad with his usual optimism and an ability to look over the facts and justify any comfort in trouble was not totally taken over by the dire predictions. But, Mike thought that it was not a show of real state of the matters but the individual spitting over upon all troubles living attitude of his dad. Mike thought he was doomed for a life of a living wretched hip of broken repair parts in the place of a formerly working mechanism that had been fully on the go. Mike had a symbol for his life now. It was a flat spring that could be found in a toy gun or clock, that did tangle itself up by different parts and all efforts to put it straight would be in vain. It seemed that to put Mike’s life straight would be also technically impossible. He was sure of that.
He felt a strong pain in his soul. They said he could not work, marry and have kids. Up to the moment when Mike had gone crazy his life was promising and full of prospects but now he was just a piece of meat. Most of all, he could not forgive himself namely that. That he spoiled a life that otherwise in the absence of his obstinacy would be happy and serene. Nothing could take Mike out of the depth of his depression. He had been put into asylum for the second time, and there seemed to be no chances for the recover. He met Inga but was rejected. He now seemed to be disgusting even to himself remembering this graceful creature. The difference of the comparison was too sharp. He lost the last what he had, his dreams and his love. The pain was insurmountable. It seemed that it could be stood no more.
Then, happened what maybe should happen. Once the brother Nick who had recovered and got through the jail gave him a ride on an expensive car for some business. Mike on the upheaval of personal spirit got an idea that he was guilty of all his disaster himself and that his only possible punishment was to die in a suicide. Mike felt even happy for a moment. He knew now the way out to stop the suffering. It seemed to be logical that he would die. It was surely a solution.
But, after some time he felt even worse. The idea that he was not an organism able to live made him even more distressed. He even was not capable to stay sullen in a respectable kind of a way as he had used to in the past. He could not keep silent. He talked to his both friends Jack and Tom and was not shy to tell them about all his plans to end his life in a suicide.
Jack put Mike into the blame, ‘I know what I’ll say, Michael. You will be ashamed of what you say now when you’ll get over it. It was the same with me and Tom. I know what I say. Believe me.’
It turned out that Jack and Tom also had been through similar periods of their lives bereft of money, good jobs and a searchable perspective. But, Mike thought his case was a special one because he was sick. And, he simply did not want to live because the suffering and pain exceeded overmuch the balance of gladness and joy that he almost did not have at all. So, Mike wanted to die. He did not feel the shame of what his former law school acquaintances would think of him. He was not thoughtful in respect of his dad whom he accused of his trouble because of booze and irregular life that led to a complete lack of money and fun in Mike’s own life. He only pitied his mom. But, that was not enough for keeping him off his thoughts about suicide.
However, Mike was so broken down in spirit that he was afraid to commit the suicide. He thought about what he would feel if he cut his veins and lay in a bath. What if when the blood almost flowed out and he was on the brink of the death he would acutely want to live? What he would feel if falling off a skyscraper he at the distance of few meters before the earth he thought about the life and wanted to make it all back? What is it to die in the sleep having taken a deadly doze of the soporific pills? What dreams he would see getting suffocated by the over-doze? Would it be nightmares? Mike was so poor of spirit and broken hearted that he did not have the courage for a suicide.
All the same, Mike wanted to come into the saving darkness of the death that would extinguish the fire of his suffer that burnt his soul. He wanted to get asleep and not to awake in the morning. It was his most strong desire.
Although Mike suffered much he came through all it. He knew now that if a man was really wearied of life and poor of spirit he was not able to commit a suicide and only the people in the heat of the passion were able to cross that barrier of fear and doubt. For this some spiritual strength and the desire to influence the people after the suicide was simply necessary. Even some intrigue should be implied.
Then, Mike got over a job offer from national aluminum company, had Julia and many other girls were enchanted by his assurance of himself. Mike took it as his credo of personal faith not to believe that there were lost chances that could not be returned and that it could be in his life so that there was no hope ahead. He even got healed of his sickness. After some time the spell was off him. The curse of the girls whom he loved, that stayed upon him for many years, was wasted by time and suffering. Now, he knew why he was sick. It was owing to his sexual abstinence. And, Mike was tired of the struggle with his flesh. Even with Julia he found it possible to keep down his flesh. But, now he wanted to be a simple man. He was not afraid to be influenced by women in a bad way. He was strong in his experience and wisdom of previous suffering. He was now healthy and sound living as any other regular young man. He was too tired of being extraordinary. He wanted a simple life. All his troubles were over.
At that time a tragedy happened. No, not in Mike’s family. The manager of the garage in the biosphere reserve, where Mike’s mom had worked and Mike himself had served as translator on private basis, a man who had drunk much hanged himself because of the imputed embezzlement of gasoline leaving a good wife, small school girl daughter and a son on the draft in the army. Probably, it was to make the other people suffer instead.

For Christ’s sake

It was the time when Mike already was mentally sick. It was all Ok with his brains but his metabolism went wrong because he had forborne of sex and all its substitutes. Still, in his heart, it did not completely get erased from his mind that every man should be not idle but earn his way in that life. Mike was a Republican still, the Democratic ideals did not find a way with him so far.
One day, when he was a guest in the home of his brother, he was left alone for the host. The doorbell rang. Mike opened. A boy of about ten years old stood before the sill.
‘Give me something to eat for the Christ’s sake,’ the boy asked.
He was not clothed poorly. Some day earlier the other group of boys had come to ask the food for the sake of Christ. It seemed to be a sport for the candy and titbits. Mike did not believe he was really needy.
‘We have nothing,’ he said and closed the door.
Then, when he turned a fanatic Christian he was even afraid that on the judgement day he would be cast into the hell for that refusal before the name of Christ.

The court trial

It was the first court trial in Mike’s career as a lawyer. He defended the interests of the group of the gas station workers whose leader was Mike’s dad. They were five. The dad was the team-leader before they had been fired.
When Mike first collected them on an appointed place in a hot summer day and said that it was necessary to fight for the truth, the only woman in the team even dropped some tears.
They had been fired because of the accusation in the lack of the professional attention to their work obligations. The cause of the trouble was that they had tried to fight for their legal rights about the conditions of their presence on the working place. As a result, the firm made the shortage in the sold gasoline. It meant that the firm supplied more gasoline than the gas station sold. It was made through the shenanigans in the accounting documents and the fact that in the summer the gasoline got less when cooled underground which was not shown in the documents. At least, it was what the workers alleged.
There were many passions in the trial. The lawyer of the firm insisted that the team-leader had been left in peace by the police on the amnesty which was not a rehabilitating ground. The team said that the shortage of the gasoline was artificial and the firm took no measures during a year with such dynamics of gasoline shortage.
Finally, Mike stood up and asked how it was possible to take that gasoline which was in shortage. For the numbers of the lack of the gasoline, it would have been necessary to take several lorries of the gasoline from each cistern underground each month. So it was on the account that the gasoline could not be sold right from the filling stations provided all the distribution was under the control of the computer. How it could be not noticed? But, the judge just said that the shortage of the gasoline was present in the winter the same when the gasoline should have been get more in volume when pumped underground. He solved the matter for the benefit of the firm and the workers should pay the cost of the shortage on the full responsibility basis. Maybe, somebody really stole the gasoline?


Better sacrifice

It was in the time when Mike was very sick because of too much study and sexual forbearance. It seemed to him he was deserted by each of the girls he loved individually. His sacrifice played a bad joke with him. Walking by the lane in the center of the city he saw a small crippled girl that moved along on the clutches. It was a pity of a scene. Suddenly, Mike realized that his sacrifices to the girls he loved had been committed in vain. They betrayed him and paid not the good for the good. If only he could change the past and present. Then, he would better sacrifice all his pain and anguish, work and study to the sake that this crippled girl should be healed. That she would be able to love and make a choice, no matter if she would abuse of her right of choice. Mike prayed that it might be so. He hoped it would be so.


American dream

When Mike got sick of all his experiments with the sexual abstinence, he began to long for another life in another place and conditions. He was declared to be an invalid and was paid a pension. He had his American dream. He wanted to come to USA, play bowling, walk on the clean streets like he saw on the photos in the magazines about USA and to visit every corner of New-York. All seemed to be so serene and happy in the USA. Mike knew he was sick and they called him a schizophrenic, so he did not have the chances to love a safe and sound girl, being a poor and sick immigrant. It was not a practical plan but a dream, American dream. But, he loved a girl whose photo he saw in one of the numbers of the ‘Riders’ digest’ journal. She was an invalid. She sat in a car and made herself beautiful by the cosmetics. But, she could not walk. Mike felt she was his match. He wanted to take care of her and let her ride around in her wheel chair pushing it from behind. In return Mike wanted a right to live in the USA and play the bowling, watch the baseball and so on. Anyhow, everybody said that he was no good any more to earn any money except a pension of invalidity from the State. He wanted to love that girl, that was the dame of his dreams, American dreams. He suffered much but it was what encouraged him, that there was a girl in the USA, whom he loved and who might love him even if he was sick and had to take pills obstinately forbearing of any sexual life accessible to any man in a bad situation. He talked much about it with his mom and she kind of approved the idea. Mike was not lazy: he studied the English many hours a day, participated in the programs of the exchange of the students between USA and Russia owing he still studied in the law school. Thus, he made the steps to make his dream come true one day. Simply, she was so beautiful. But, his brother Nick said it was nonsense to love a girl that lived in USA and was not able to walk while there were so many healthy Russian girls. But, Mike loved that girl all the same, she was the main part of his American dream.

The world of the mad

Why Mike accepted or even decided to be crazy when he would be grown up? It was his answer to the problem of meeting of the girls that were sick with a sickness that would kill any first baby to give a chance for the medical treatment of the disease provoked and future healthy progeny. But Mike did not want to accept the bargain the girls offered to him. He did not want that any babies would die. He believed in the Lord, and the Lord promised Mike that He would forgive the sins of the mothers and fathers of the sick girls and make them healed for Mike to be able to be a father for them. Mike talked to the Lord and the Lord talked to him. But all thought him crazy in the country all over imbued with the spirit of atheism.
As well as Mike recalled in his adult days he had eaten some pills intended for the use in the time of the bacteriological war that were almost in any home in the Soviet Union of those days. Those pills gave him the immunity. KGB knew about it. Mike tried to persuade to make the vaccines out of his blood to help the sick girls in his town. But maybe he was so sick that the immunity could not be transferred. Or maybe they really vaccinated the girls as was more probably and according to the way he recalled the entire story himself.
But, Mike knew he had to forbear from sex to provoke the sicknesses in his body not to be hereditary ones to be transferred to his kids if there were some. It was Mike’s revelation. It was what the Lord said to him. So, he always knew he would go crazy…
Mike was sitting on the bunk in the one of the rooms of the asylum for the mentally sick people. It was not a crazy house as Mike presumed first, but the psychiatric neuralgic hospital. Still, it was a madhouse. Only, Mike knew now that there existed even worse ones for worse patients.
‘My wife have infected me with the gonorrhea,’ the middle age man on the bunk opposite to Mike told. ‘But I have collected twelve tractor engine for the national economy…Who are you by profession?’
‘I study for a lawyer diploma,’ Mike replied.
‘A lawyer. They won’t hold you here for long. They don’t hold lawyers for much time down here.’ Assured the fat patient…
‘Look, that’s our king of clubs,’ said Inna showing at Michael. ‘So, you want to take us all three and Jane also? But, why not right away? Why you should go crazy and fast till twenty three?’ She cunningly asked.
‘I promised to the Lord, and I don’t want that my children were sick because of the vaccines I ate. I should conquer those diseases first and make them my antibodies for my children to inherit.’ Said Mike.
‘But, what you can give us then? After you will stop being crazy and become whom you want to be?’ Asked Inna.
‘I might give you my seed,’ Mike said.
‘Ha-ha-ha,’ burst out in laughter both girls. ‘He’ll give us his seed. His precious seed…But do you know that we need the money. The fortuneteller said that you were the king of clubs and we will marry you all of us. But, that’s before the God. In real life we’ll have the other husbands. You simply should take the curse. You are a husband by the curse.’
‘You are just greedy and unfaithful, I won’t marry a divorced woman.’ Said Michael.
‘What do you understand ‘a divorced woman’. You’ll be shocked at how faithful we will be. You simply don’t understand that we need the money.’ Said Tina.
‘Let me go through. You can marry whomsoever you want.’ Mike pronounced in irritation and tried to get through.
‘Michael, Michael, don’t get a-boiling. We want that you will be the father of our children. But what if you die? We should have our own husbands.’ Inna tried to calm down Mike’s anger.
‘I won’t die,’ said Michael.
‘But the fortuneteller said that you’d die in twenty one, and you don’t want to make us the kids till then.’ Tina argued.
‘The Lord will raise me from the dead even if I die,’ said calmly Michael, a bit offended against the fortuneteller.
‘We will not wait till you die. We’ll conspire with the girls to get pregnant of you.’ Said Tina.
‘But, I will not lose my virgin till twenty three I promised to the Lord and He promised to give me the strength for it.’
‘Then, we’ll steal your pants when you’ll have the pollution, and the other girls you don’t know will help us get pregnant of you for the case if you die. It will be the girls you don’t know.’ Announced Inna.
Mike was humiliated and afraid that the Lord would punish him for it, but he could find nothing to say against it. Only he was offended that they did not believe that he would not die to live till twenty-three and marry them…
‘Mike do you have a gun? A ‘Makaroff’?’ A youth asked of Mike.
‘Why do you need it?’ asked Mike in return.
‘To kill my parents.’ Said the young man.
‘You are here because you tried to kill them,’ Mike presumed.
‘Yea, I poured the soporific into the tea to steal the car but the dad felt he was poisoned and hid the keys.’ The youth explained.
‘I hope they are still alive.’ Asked Mike.
‘Yea, they put me here and I need a ‘Makaroff’.’ The youth told. ‘A man promised me one on the marketplace just before they put me here…’
Tina and Inna said in the hostel room holding their hands together.
‘The doctor said that we wouldn’t be able to be even the harlots because they don’t need sick harlots. So, we promised to love one another, I and Tina, and Jane also. Simply we need a father for our kids. But, the doctor said they’d die.’ Inna explained.
‘But, the kids won’t die. For example, my grand-granddad Nick’s daughter did not die. But her mother was also sick with the same.’ Mike told. ‘Don’t worry, your children won’t die…’
When Mike got into the hospital’s water closet he knew for sure it was a crazy house. The patients broke the tiles on the walls and they were put on again but already of a different color and design, so now it was a kind of mosaic. The tubes and faucets were welded on in such a way as to show that it was specially made for the use of the mentally sick persons…
‘But that’s the soul of your grand-granddad Nick incarnated into you. You need a harem. But, there’re so many boys that cannot have the kids. You did not think about them?’ The girls inquired…
‘I wanna eat, wanna eat. It hurts, hurts,’ repeated a man that seemed to be always punched by the stronger and more clever patients.
A boy punched him on the back. The man began to groan.
‘Don’t beat him,’ warned Michael, ‘He’s contagious…’
The girls laughed at Michael, ‘You say you are a prophet?
You will masturbate and see the visions how you love us. But, we will do it with our beloved ones in reality. A prophet. Ha-ha-ha.’
Mike stood and he swore in his soul that he wouldn’t do it in that way even if he should die…
‘I can work for days and nights in my repair shop without any sleep. But the wife have brought me down here.’ Said the fat man. ‘When I was in the army I fed the rookies when the Chechen took all the food from them. I hid the cakes in the gutters of the roof, and when they went to the latrine they took some…’
Mike stood his last seconds before he would leave the girls, Tina and Inna.
‘I know, you simply want to put the curse on my soul and marry the other men. I won’t accept that you had the lovers or other husbands. I will suffer you curse through that you did not tell that the Lord is not merciful. Then, I will have my own wife and kids when I be healed of schizophrenia stopping to forbear of the marital life. But, you can marry whom you please and have the children of them. I won’t accept the harlots.’ Mike firmly said.
The girls that stood at about ten yards off began to curse Mike and throw the stones into him.
‘You better die, beast. You better die…’

Embezzlement

The jeep with the two Swedish men and Mike arrived to the place where a motor boat waited for the foreigners to go into taiga to try their chances to meet and film or photograph a snow leopard. They began to carry their belongings to the motor boat from the car.
‘Mike, give it to the driver,’ said Lennart and gave Mike ten bucks.
Mike moved toward the car to pass over the money, but here Eric, the other Swede, also moved toward the car and gave some tip to the driver, who was a worker of the biosphere reserve. Mike interpreted that situation in his own interest as though they decided to leave that ten bucks bill to him and give to the driver some other dollar bills. But then he realized that it could be that Eric simply paid his own part. However, my kept ten bucks in his pocket. But after some time, when all the collaboration with the Swedes was over, he felt remorse and paid the equivalent of ten bucks in rubles to the driver, whom he had found in the garage of the biosphere reserve, when he got a monthly pension payment. He decided to be honest.



Caretaker

The log cabin of the bar for hunters and other people was lit by an electric lamp. The music played loudly. The whole business of Swedes seemed to be over for that time. It was a farewell party.
‘You know, Mike, you worked well and we with Lennart want to make you a present. That will be a special present for a special worker.’ Said Erik, then called a woman that seemed to be twenty something.
She went and sat at the table.
‘I don’t know,’ she said, ‘I have a boyfriend. They might talk about that in the town. I don’t know.’
Mike easily realized that his Swedish partners wanted to offer him a whore, having been able to see the sexual abstinence syndrome in his behavior. But Mike recalled about Tina and his love to her. He did not want just sex, he wanted to possess a woman he loved. And, he did not want to spoil that feeling.
‘No, no, Eric, I am a man of principle,’ Mike said.
‘Mike, the principles are not always good in the life. Sometimes that’s necessary just to relax.’ Eric insisted.
‘No, Eric, you know I love a girl and don’t want to…’ Mike uttered.


A shaman

The flat of the shaman was filled with the wooden idols made after a native style. They drank the tea and got to the travel. In the evening they got into the hunters’ bar. The shaman got so drunk that he began to open energetic pores in the body of Steve. He drank the same much as the Swedes but lost control over himself. While, Eric and Lennart held themselves in a dignitary way. In this condition they were carried into the hotel.
Next day the shaman and the man who hunted with a golden eagle were taken to be carried into the mountains to make a movie on how the shaman would try to establish a contact with the spirit of the snow leopard through the spirit of the golden eagle. The shaman drank even in the car, couching on the rear seat. When they got into the place that was nothing but a road repair service station, the workers were also after a big booze and longed for some liquor. The shaman accepted the role of a man prudent as to the national traditions.
‘Mike,’ he called, ‘You know these men let us into their house, under their own roof so that is our tradition to compensate the men. Say to Harry that we should go and buy some bottles of vodka.’ That was one hundred and fifty miles to the next village. ‘We have to solve that problem.’
Really, all was arranged on much higher level. And, the workers of the road service station were of no real concern at all. So, Mike had to say that it was impossible. The shaman was offended. He drank what was in his hands appropriated from the common reserve of liquor and then went off the station upon the ice of the mountain lake. On the half of the way over the lake he fell into the snow and lay for about half an hour, then returned.
Next day they decided not to take the shaman for movie making. They were to make the scenes with the golden eagle. Several snow scooters from the tourist station rode over to the building. Mike got on the rear seat of one of them and they moved to the mountains. The landscape was very beautiful. All the fir and cedar trees were covered by thick snow. No wind. It was a kingdom of white silence. The eagle hovered above.
After the filming was over they went to the tourist station to have a snack. The scooter jumped over the snow heaps and Mike balanced to keep it straight.
The next day Mike, the shaman and eagle hunter had to make the movie scenes with both shaman and eagle. They got on the top of the mountain and then went on their feet when the scooters choked because the air was too thin. Each step was as heavy as if Mike had a barbell on his shoulders. When on the top the shaman made a few movements to dance and call the spirits but got tired very early clothed in his heavy dress.
Then, in a forest near Shushenskoe he gave an interview in Russian that would be translated by an already prepared text.
On the question of Mike why he had gone across the lake, the shaman said that he saw a solar sign on the slope of the opposite mountain far away. Then, he told that first he did not understand that they asked him to evoke the spirit of an animal and he called the spirit of an ancient prince whose name was Leopard. He knew that that prince had perished because he was betrayed by his woman and best friend. Then, he saw in a vision a dark figure of the black shaman, the ancient personage of the legends, that stood and held a snow leopard on a stick with a collar. And, a great light as if that of the sun had gone from behind the dark figure. It was as though the black ancient shaman had wanted to put right the mistake of the modern shaman.
That black shaman was notorious because he predicted the death of a Hunnu king of his own sword, at which the king only laughed. But once when he pierced a big sausage boiled in a big pot with his sword that he took from the wall, the hot meat juice spurted on his face. He made a reflective movement to wipe off the hot liquid with the very same hand that held the sword and cut open his own throat. Thus, the prophecy executed itself. The black shaman that was a Scythian made a testament that he should be buried on the east side of the valley where they buried the shamans. Because he wanted that his tomb would be lit by the evening sun that went after the way his Scythian people had left their land to go west.
Then, Steve asked of the shaman if there were some real ones among them that could go into astral and so on.
‘All we are just shit mongers,’ said the shaman with regret.

Broken skis

When Mike worked as an interpreter in the biosphere reserve he heard a lot of stories. Among them, the stories about a poacher. There was a poacher with a renown. He was not a hunter by the education but by the calling. He had come from Ukraine to work in a taiga wood production enterprise. But, when the reforms had come, the enterprise went bankrupt and he was left jobless in a forest village. So, he turned a hunter and poacher because the game was in abundance only in the nearby biosphere reserve. He was known by his deftness in providing the venison in high quantities. They could not catch him in the reserve. Once, he got trapped in the taiga when the helicopter with the rangers descended near the log cabin where he had just been in. He had to leave the log cabin in haste, which the rangers knew. It seemed that he would be caught in the morning when the rangers would get on his tracks. But, instead of competing in the speed with the rangers, the poacher returned to the log cabin by stealth and broke the skis of the rangers that were left by them before the cabin. Then, he got away some distance and prepared to pass the night. When the rangers awoke they saw their skis broken while the snow was up to the waist. The poacher, who had seemed to be trapped, eluded again.

Snow leopard skin

Eric and Lennart, the Swedes that had arrived to the Shushensky biosphere reserve by a WWF program, said it was necessary to visit an illegal market place where the traders would have sold the skins and organs of the Red Book animals. They explained to them that no such place existed and proposed them instead to film and photograph the skin of the snow leopard. It would make the film of Eric and the book of Lennart more actual and interesting for the audience. They decided to try to pass the Swedes for the people who had the interest in buying a snow leopard’s skin. They had the success and a poacher rode to a place in Tyva for a good snow leopard’s skin. He brought it to his home and invited the Swedes to look at the skin as it had been arranged earlier. They arrived to his home in a town in taiga. They got into the poacher’s house by the help of an intermediate. His wife, a beautiful woman, took a baby and descended into the lower level by a wooden staircase. The fictitious trade began. Lennart photographed the skin and Eric filmed it on the pretences that it was necessary for a prospective buyer in Sweden to evaluate the quality of the goods not exposing himself. Eric was possessed with the idea to make the secret filming of the whole business and his camera produced a buzzing noise to bring the poacher more and more to despair when he realized they were the faked purchasers. Still, the hope rested in his eyes at the point when all was at the stake. The Swedes asked if it was possible to provide more skins and to kill a snow leopard if possible. The poacher said that it was necessary to get the money first. The price was ten thousand dollar each skin. But, a whole sale discount was quite possible. Still, it needed the time because the snow leopards were not shot by rifles not to spoil the skin, but got occasionally into the traps put for the musk deer. So, they had to pay and wait. Mike, who interpreted for the whole affair tried to seem more probable as a businessman and began to express his own thoughts.
‘That’s no deal,’ he said. ‘The chairs in the evening, the money overnight in the morning.’
The poacher did not smile or otherwise appraise the joke. He most surely already knew they showed him a movie. Still, he held himself at a boy. After all was talked over the Swedes paid four hundred dollars to the poacher and left his house with a promise to come again if their imaginary client would be glad with the skin. The long face of the ingenuous poacher suggested the pity.
It was presumed that the material filmed in the poacher’s house would be used only in Sweden and Europe, but once Jack phoned to Mike and said that he heard his voice in a movie about the illegal trade of the skins of the Red Book animals. Mike asked if Jack was sure. He said who else could tell about the chairs in the evening and the money overnight in the morning.

WWF program

That is the story about the effects of the WWF snow leopard conservation program on the minds of the Tuvinian shepherds, Mike heard when he worked as an interpreter. One of the shepherds heard the news that they compensated the sheep murdered by the snow leopard with the rather big money. Only it was necessary to show the sheep skin or other remainders of the dead sheep and to let an expert from WWF evaluate the facts and answer the question whether it was done by a snow leopard or not. He did not believe it and decided that the person who had told him the news had twisted the facts. On the occasion, he shot a snow leopard and brought its skin to the WWF office in Kysyl, the capital of Tyva. There, he asked for the promised money.


Similar case

On a certain stage of his sickness, Mike’s mother decided to apply to Donald, the brother of Constantine, who was a childhood friend of Mike. He was a psychiatrist by education but that time he healed the patients that were addicted to drugs. Still, for him it was not a hard labor to understand that Mike was mentally sick because of the sexual abstinence syndrome that had developed into the schizophrenia. To make an illustration, he told a story about his colleague who had tried to better influence his patients by his own example but had gone crazy.
‘First, he said that a doctor should show an example to the patients addicted to the drugs by his own behavior. He quitted drinking, we noticed he changed. Then, he quitted smoking, we saw he had changed for worse. After he quitted the communications with women, we could see that the patients reacted to him in a strange way. We asked him to record what he said to the patients and when we listened to the tape we were shocked. So, we had to part with him. Now, he works as the male nurse in the clinic after he had passed a course in the asylum but that’s not the same. That’s a pity.’ Donald told.
By that story, Mike knew he was not lonely in his efforts to struggle with the nature itself to strengthen the effect of his words against the alcoholism and drug addiction by his own example of the complete sexual fasting.


A girl in the short skirt

There was a girl in Mike’s life whom he also loved. But, he hid it deep in his soul. He saw her once when she sat on a windowsill in the main building of the university and Michael went down the steps. She sat near a booth in which they made Xerox copies. She was in a short skirt and demonstrated her beautiful legs. Had Mike been bolder he would have come to the girl and made friends with her. But, he had many complexes and to hide them he tried to seem more serious. The more so he was already sick and had to go on or to lose. It seemed that he had not the time to make up a love affair. The girl had modest clothes but sat indulgently as if she was the future queen of a little European principality. Mike did not know her name. She surely had a Caucasus beauty or that of the Near East. But surely her blood had a blend of Turkic one. Maybe she was too proud and that stopped Mike in his dreams and thoughts about this girl. He could easily find her and offer his friendship. But, he already had enough of the dames of heart the principal of whom was Inga and the love to whom led him to more and more valiant deeds in the trade of the learning of the law and foreign languages, English mainly.
Last time Mike saw her was when Mike was in a delirium and wandered in the land of a completely different spirit. He saw her in an underground across a road when she went arm to arm with a boy. She was glad of her beauty. But, Mike was able to challenge even this. He calmly passed by with an expression of scorn that was not on his face but heart. He knew he would be capable to conquer such a girl in the future and stay a man of position and respect. Mike knew that respect of the men meant for him even more than the love of women.

The girl with a perky nose

The stuffy atmosphere of the reading room full of studying people pressed on the breathing. The summer session was ahead and the sunny rays played in the yard under the windows of the room. Mike studied the civil law. The girl with the aquiline nose who loved to perk it in a dignitary way also sat in the room. She was from the foreign languages’ faculty. Mike was yet in an age when even the presence of the lady of his heart in the same reading room was a source of romantic feelings. Mike dreamed how he would visit her home and talk to her parents in a show of himself. Surely, she was a princess and Mike was a shepherd. She lived in the city that is full of potentialities and possibilities for the young and Mike came from the country. Mike surely had few chances, but it did not hinder him from dreaming. He did not feel himself in enough power to come to the girl and make friends with her. Somehow always fearing to be dejected Mike knew his weight category. He could have tried, but he was ambitious, he wanted to come one day on a white horse or a white Mercedes. He wanted first to study well and find a good job and only then to bid his price and come boldly. But, the girls know they are watched at, dreamed of and had fancy on. So, she sometimes turned her head back as if just by mere occasion to see who was her admirer. She turned back when she stood near the library lady table as if she softly challenged Mike for some more active approaches and wanted him to make the matters more clear. But, Mike knew that they do not ask the money for looking at, but for going around with a girl they did, so he kept a distance. What Mike could tell about himself? That he had drawn a pension from the State as an invalid person? Surely, Mike might only dream. He ought to sit on the place and throw the evaluating glances on the lady as if he wanted to say, ‘Wait, wait darling till I become a real somebody and all my studies and sacrifices will turn effective.’ So, Mike only could dream of this girl that loved to perk her nose and stay very serious in the same time. However, not always she perked her nose. Sometimes she was calm and not defiant. Maybe last time in his whole life Mike saw this lady of his heart of whom he dreamed and planned in vain having known it was most probably of little real possibility when he crossed the road near the main building of the university. She came against in a multicolor striped sweater and perked her aquiline beautiful nose to show she knew her personal price was high and that she was full of self-esteem.

Tomb stones

Mike did not have his law degree as yet. He studied the last year in the university. So, when his dad found a job offer for a lawyer in the advertisement column, Mike thought it a success. The dad talked with somebody in the firm that needed a lawyer and they took Mike to render the services of a lawyer. He got into the papers and looked through them to find some cases with good prospects. He found some. Among them it was a case of the stolen monuments for the tombs. They were stolen by fraudulent means. They belonged to that firm that was occupied with the transportation services on trucks where Mike worked in. It was the time when the cash was scarce and they paid with some goods like tombstones as was in that case. Strangely enough, but still true.
Mike was a good student so he founded his lawsuit on the fact that the title of property is protected by a privilege to the obligatory rights in the case if the property was stolen or otherwise departed from the possession of the owner against his will. That’s continental law. The way Mike wanted to hook them was simple. He wanted to involve into the court trial the clients that had bought the tombstones as the third parties interested in the material issue of the trial. Of course, it would have damaged much the reputation of the firm. So, the courier brought all the money in cash and proposed not to quarrel. It was a good show of Mike’s legal grip. Before it, even the policemen from the local office could not bring them to responsibility. They specially had ridden in a car to Novosibirsk the biggest city of Siberia and had spent much of allowance but in vain, because the firm played a fool and showed the broken tombstones of a different color. So, Mike showed he was a good lawyer. Or maybe it was the case when novices have much luck.
Then, when Mike had become a Christian it was all strange for him. Whether it was good to play on the memory of the dead as an argument in the lawsuit. All the law is about it if you want to be successful. So, Mike was happy now that he was a writer and poet, not a lawyer.

The perspectives of the future

Mike wandered upon the cement flagstones of the transportation company court. He looked at the old cement. The grass grew between the flagstones. Mike asked himself about his perspective of the future life. His idea was that he would work in that decrepit enterprise for his whole life receiving vodka bottles and canned chicken meat with the broken bones instead of money. Then, he thought he would achieve the age of the pension for the old age and receive the true compensation for his work. Then, he would get cash and the real life would start.
Mike completely connected his fate to the transportation company. He was sure nobody would take him for the other job because he was sick with schizophrenia. His main worry was how much the company would keep alive.
‘How many time will our trucks serve before they are no use,’ asked Mike once off the director.
‘Forever if you want it. That’s the iron. What will happen to it? Change the repair parts and they will serve as long as you want.’ Answered the director that always had a lighter view on the life.
However, Mike thought that the trucks would not keep more than twenty years. He would be forty then. What would he do?

Catherine

It was the middle of the summer. A good time to have fun. But for Mike it was just to go through the emotions. He tried to talk and joke in the same way as he ate much for the aim of somehow balancing out the deep feeling of the anguish he always had to the idea that he was a mentally sick man without any prospects of a good job or personal life. So, for Mike, all the communication with the other people was a kind of medicine he tried to take more and more. The medicine which was always in a deficit. He needed to talk much. But that July of the summer of 2001 was the time that made Mike’s sick mind as sober as just could be. It was because he was almost sure that he would find no job. In his native town they knew all about him and hardly anybody would take him. To go to settle somewhere else was also problematic due to the simple argument that Mike was sick. So, Mike somewhat changed from that whom he was always. He was much intimidated and talked almost to nobody at all. He was sure it was an end. And, a bad one.
Mike and his mom arrived to the town Borodino where the last had passed her childhood and school years. Partly, it was to find a job for Mike, partly to have fun. The last with much more chances of success. Mike had some relatives in that town. One of them was Catherine, a girl of eighteen that was on her vacation from the college studies. More probably she did not know about Mike’s problem with the health and head. So, she actively got into the charge of Michael. However, it could also be that she knew all because they were not very distant relatives and wanted to help Mike to forget about his trouble. Mike did not take the drugs at that time and could pass for a normal person. His exterior life was not bad. He studied English, just got a law degree and did not drink or smoke. So, Kate began to tote and tout Mike about the town and even once to her girlfriend where Mike found in a book offered him for amusement as to a guest that New Russian was a play of word on New Rich originating from a paper article of the beginning of reforms time.
Mike was suspicious about all the laughs and smiles in his regard. He was sure the people did not look at him with the wish of good. Mike was a bit fat. Or else, Kate was a kind of walking laugh story in the town after she had fallen off a building from about seven yards having tried to get to the hostel through the window in the illegal hours. Maybe, both. Mike and Kate was a strange couple.
Kate was pretty, even an eye that looked askew did not spoil the impression. So, they wandered about that small town of no interesting peculiarities or celebrities. After all, Kate took an aluminum can of alcoholic cocktail and they nested under a roof that stood on four small pillars to make a kind of arbour. It was deep night. Nobody was in the court of the pair of nearby condominiums. Kate sat and drank the liquor. Mike had a strong desire to hug and French-kiss her. By the situation it would be quite possible. But, first Mike was sick and it was a kind of complex for him. Second, Mike did not want to make it seriously but it would turn that way because they were relatives and all the family old wives would know about it. Third, Mike was not a seducer by his nature. He knew it was quite possible among his friends but he feared it. And now he was protected by his reputation. Protected from the temptation. All girls thought him to be a serious boy. It was a kind of style. In the short term it played not for easy sex and relations but really Mike was afraid of such easy fun. He was afraid to lose himself. He hoped that in the long term his strategy would prove fruitful even in the term of sex and pleasure but in a legal and morally justified way. And, the more so, Kate was too easy a target longing for some firm shoulder to put her tender hand on that it would be sacrilegious to cheat such a girl. So, Mike did not kiss or hug Kate.
Then Mike met her four years later. They said that Kate had not a good reputation and even her job in the kindergarten was a kind of credit of faith. The Lord has His grace on us.
Mike arrived again for some amusement for his mom and a medical test in the regional capital Krasnoyarsk as a collateral aim. And he asked much for a chance to meet Kate. They said she had a daughter and had a boyfriend. So, for Mike it would be hard to acquire an audience. Still, Kate phoned and invited Mike to see her off on her way home. Then, they bought a packet of biscuits and it turned out that Mike could visit their flat, partly because the boyfriend was not of much actuality at the time and also because he did not live with her.
Kate’s strategy of conquering the capital of the region turned sour. A boy that was a citizen of Krasnoyarsk made her a baby, they divorced and now he even did not pay enough alimony having another baby from the other woman on the way. Mike talked much on his own ideas of polygamy and that maybe for Kate it would be more profitable to become the second wife of a man of means or a mistress as the Russian and any other Europeans call it. Kate said it was not for her and that she could not put up with the idea that she was not the only one. Then, she condescended to the idea that much tact and wooing could carry the day with her. But, the result of Mike’s propaganda was that he should leave even sooner than it would have been had he not talked on that topic.
Again Mike had that fleshly desire to kiss and hug Kate. But now she was the wife of another man and it was impossible, though the atmosphere was quite intimate. Is the regular life a pleasant sacrifice for the Lord? Surely, so. And, Mike believed he would be compensated for it, even in that earthly life.

A pair of German students

This is a story about a pair of German students that arrived to the Shushenskoe Biosphere Reserve for the practice by the agreement between the biosphere reserve and their university. It was a boy and a girl. Michael ought to be the translator for them. So, he helped them. It was mostly in two questions. First, how to get to the lake of Bajkal. Secondly, how to buy the food for the trip on the territory of the biosphere reserve, which was ahead. Mathew as was the name of the boy asked how it would have been practically possible to take a motorbike on lease, or to buy a used one. Mike persuaded them that it was dangerous to travel such a long distance on a motorbike. To boot, there was no company, which would have leased a motorbike. There was no such company in the region. So, they had to travel to the biggest lake in the world by the train. Finally, they got to the lake, though they passed several hours in the cage for the criminals on the grounds that they had the visa to be present only in Shushenskoe. The document did not allow them to travel to Irkutsk and the lake Bajkal. But, taking into account that they did not speak any Russian and might not explain for themselves, they were released from the police office.
As to the trip to the biosphere reserve, Mathew and Frederica as was the name of the girl spent almost the whole day buying the necessary food. They literally counted each calorie.
During the travel, Frederica thought better of losing her forces on senseless hiking and pleaded a sprawled leg to avoid the further trip, to stay on a cordon. Mathew, on the contrary, was obstinate on his intention to go all the way through the biosphere reserve. He rarely opened his rucksack full of food and showed by the gestures to the guide, a young scientific worker of the biosphere reserve, that it would be good if he shot some animal for eating. So, Mathew brought almost all his food back.
When Mike met Nicolas, as was the name of the guide, he saw how much leaner he turned.
‘How do you do? What’s the agenda for today?’ Mike asked him.
‘I’m going to treat Frederica and Mathew with barbecue.’ He answered.
‘Why are you so much leaner?’ Mike asked.
‘I had to share with Mathew my own portion of food in the taiga.’ He responded.
An acute example of the enigmatic Russian soul and German pragmatism.

“Foreigner”

This story was told to Mike by his friend Jack. It is about their common acquaintance Denis. That is a story of a crime.
One night Denis went on the asphalt lane in the center of the city. He knew that a delegation of Spaniards visited the town. When he approached another man coming to meet him on the lane he heard a greeting in Spanish. A sudden thought lighted in the head of Denis. He thought it was a Spaniard that got astray from his delegation. The anticipation of the big loot in dollars drove him to attack the man. The drunken man delivered little resistance before tackled down but protested in Spanish. All Denis found in the pockets of his victim was fifty rubles bill.
On one of the following days, Denis came to invite his girl Jane for a stroll. When he went out of the condominium building he saw his “foreigner”. When he asked his girlfriend about her neighbor she told that it was the noteworthy citizen of the town. He knew Spanish because he studied in Moscow on the journalist faculty and lived on Cuba for some time when he was a young man.

Gay

Denis called Mike at some distance from the place where their parents cooked the barbecue. It was already after Mike had narrated that he had eaten the army vaccines in pills and wanted to answer for the sins of the girls he loved.
‘Let’s be friends and you’ll answer for my sins as if I were your wife.’ Denis proposed.
Mike knew about homosexuals and how bad it was. Still he felt the hormones play in his body. But, at the same moment he recalled about his girls. That he had to be the father of their kids.
‘If you say about it once more, I’ll take the spike on which they make the barbecue and stab into your belly!’ Mike said seriously.
‘But, how’ll you pierce my coat with it?’ Denis asked also seriously. He was two years older.
‘I’ll stab the spike into your eye and kill you.’ Mike said.
‘They’ll put your parents into the jail.’ Denis opposed.
‘I bet not.’ Mike said.
Denis went away…
Michael met Denis in the street. He knew his story from Jack. He had had a girlfriend and had wanted to marry her. But, a gay had seduced him and Denis had quarreled with his girlfriend and had left her.
‘So, Denis, what about girls?’ Mike demanded.
‘I quitted on that stuff. I shifted onto the guys completely. I fuck the guys only.’
Then, they talked about the inscriptions in English on Denis’ body. He had made tattoos. It was written ‘outlow’ instead of ‘outlaw’. It was funny. Mike made the observation. Denis said he was going to put right the mistake…
Next time, Mike met Denis, it was when he strolled with Julia on the street.
‘You have to change your attitude to the girls.’ Mike advised.
‘No, it’s definite.’ Denis said.
Julia wanted to know what was the matter catching the flair of some interesting stuff to originate a rumor, but Mike did not say what was what.
Mike knew why Denis turned gay. It was a manner of the protest. The girls always needed the money while Denis was not keen on studying and working. The other reason was that being a gay was original. When it had been in vogue to use the drugs Denis also had done it, then had quitted. After all, Mike heard that Denis told their common acquaintance that he had had fun with a girl in Krasnoyarsk. It was after a pair of years. Probably, the protest went stale.

Slogan

That tale was told to Mike by his friend Jack, who heard it himself from Max, the former classmate of Mike. He turned a black sheep of the class and got into the jail. There he began to play soccer seriously and got into the league of the Republic of Khackassia on the jail team. When he got out he first tried to play soccer in the second league of Russia. He played for a team in the Southern Russia. He had to play with the teams from Caucasus. These guys ran fast and played tough. So, Max quitted it for his health’s sake. But, he had enough time to get the impressions. Once, they played on a republican stadium in a region near Chechnya. He was accustomed to the Olympic slogan of “Faster, higher, stronger” written on the stadium of Shushenskoe where he had played on a junior team. But, what he saw there written in big letters was “Learn to shoot better”.


Frankness

Mike was present in the court as a lawyer defending the interests of the firm he worked in. The case was as follows. A worker decided to take a truck wheel from the enterprise and was caught. Even before the court trial, he was sacked by the manager for the theft. It was written so in the relevant documents. But then, the justice began. The court decided that it was not a theft but the arbitrariness. So, the worker was rehabilitated and restored on his job. But, the court trial in the question was the second one. Its essence was that now the worker wanted that he should be restored on the same truck with the trailer and not the dump truck he had been put on by the manager. His opinion was he would earn less if his rights would not be defended. The public prosecutor was fast on defending the interests of the proletariat. He was present in the trial himself. While on many other occasions when the interests of the workers were trodden over by the capital he had kept in the shadow.
Mike took the word, ‘I think that the application of the claimant to the court is senseless. The essence of the deal is that he did a gross breach of the discipline on the enterprise and he was not punished because put free on the amnesty. So, the management has no choice but to punish that worker itself. No matter if he works on the truck with the trailer and carries the coal. Or else, he works on the dump truck and carries the rubbles he will earn less than the good workers because the management will not put him on the route in the conditions when there’s the lack of the orders and the trucks are not fully exploited.’
For some moment there was the silence, then the head of the local General Attorney office’s department pronounced, ‘You see what he tells.’
‘But whether that’s not so?’ Mike asked.
‘That’s so, but they don’t tell about it,’ the public prosecutor said in the astonishment.


A married woman

First time Mike met her in the village, when he was just a small boy. She was a young woman who just graduated from the college and found a job in the village as a teacher. It was on the way to the shop. Near the red bridge. She stood near the bridge leaning on the metal rail. A young woman her own age talked with her. Mike was a prophet and he knew what evil she committed. Mike went to her and stood still looking into her eyes.
‘What do you look at?’ she asked.
She was slim and beautiful. Her pretty face had a smile. She was positively Jewish.
‘You’ve betrayed your husband.’ Said Mike.
The young woman changed in her countenance. The women stopped to chatter. Then, she coped with her emotion and tried to smile.
‘Who did it say to you, a magpie brought it on its tail?’ she asked with an ostensible slight.
‘No, the magpie is of no concern here.’ Mike said calmly.
The young woman took Mike by her tender hand, but the clasp was tough. She hauled Mike aside to the small stinking runless river. She bowed to Mike to ask her question more privately.
‘Boy, who did it say to you? Who sniffed about it? Somebody said it to you? They say about it in the village?’ she questioned.
‘No, I simply know it,’ Mike said.
The young woman stood for a moment thinking about all it. Then, she jerked Mike by the right hand.
‘Don’t tell such things, boy. Do not slander. Do you know what it does mean to slander? Don’t say the things you cannot prove. You understand? Say you are sorry right now.’ She ordered.
‘I told the truth,’ said Mike.
‘I’ll drown you in this river, if don’t say you are a cheater.’ She threatened.
‘I’m not a cheater,’ Mike said.
The young woman took Mike into her hands and did as though she wanted to throw the boy into the river.
‘Don’t tell the lies, boy,’ she raged wickedly.
‘I said the truth…’ Mike said.
The young woman threw him into the water. Mike fell into the river. He got deep into the mud. He stood up. His clothes were dirty and in duckweed. The river was full of the garbage of any sort. So, Mike had some difficulty to get out. The woman was surprised herself at what she did.
‘Boy, don’t tell anybody I pushed you into the river. I have forgiven you. Simply, don’t tell in the village about what you said. Right?’ The woman bargained.
‘I won’t,’ said Mike.
‘You’re a good boy. But, who did say it to you that I did it? Somebody in the village?’ She asked.
‘The Lord said to me. I’m His prophet,’ said Mike.
The woman changed in her face.
‘Boy, don’t complain to your God about what I did. I simply thought somebody told you. It’s bad when they gossip about somebody.’ The young woman said.
She helped Mike get out of the river and wash his shirt and shorts off the dirt. She held Mike when he made his sandals dangle in the water first right one then left one. Mike went to the asphalt lane. The young woman went beside.
‘You don’t tell it anybody. Right?’ the young woman tried to settle it.
‘I won’t. It was for you to repent,’ Mike said.
‘I repent, repent. Simply, don’t tell anybody,’ she warned.
They went up along under the bridge. The young woman’s girlfriend stood where Mike had met her. The young woman changed her intonation.
‘Have you got a bride, boy?’ she showed interest.
‘I’ve got some girls I love, but…’ barely said Mike.
‘Yea, really? Some girls?’ she laughed.
‘Yea, but they want to seduce me that I should go crazy the wild way for the doctors to be able to help me get socialized. They will seduce me that I would fell in love with them and not marry me. It’s to make me crazy right away, for the doctors to try to cure me when I’ll be still young…’ Mike explained.
‘Yea, boy, I’ll help them. I’ll help to seduce you and not marry,’ the young woman laughed in a light-hearted way…
In his adult life Mike met this woman when he got a job in a State office. She also worked in this organization on a position that did not require special legal skills. It was kind of mechanical data processing work on a computer. From the first week Mike spotted her. Though a ripe woman, she kept a young girl body. She was slender. She kept herself in a good shape. Mike could not help casting the look of interest on her. She noticed it.
She was a married woman. It was a second marriage of her without any legal registration. Perhaps, she was glad with her matrimonial status. Mike had no girl at that time. So, he was an easy victim for an exertion of sexual power. So, the woman began to flirt. She would drop into the office room where Mike worked with another young man, who knew the woman by his former work as a teacher in the same village school; she was his colleague for the second time. It was to ask Mike some questions on the legal aspects of her work in the framework of the whole service of the State office. She would sit in front of Mike in the client’s seat and play with a pencil connected to the table by a string. Mike began to render the signs of attention. He would ask what music her only son loved and what music she loved herself. They would talk about her life and Mike would give his advices, when they were alone in the office while the rest of the staff left for the dinnertime one hour break. Mike dreamed of her.
She did not lose the easiness of approach characteristic for the youth. Maybe, it was due to the years passed in the school as a teacher. She seemed to be young. She was only thirty-six. Much time ahead for serious relations.
Mike was sick. He knew the girls would not like to have children of him, because his disease was stated to be hereditary. So, he needed a relationship where the woman already had some children. What such a woman would need in her turn was a steady income Mike had. Mike needed sex.
He was not successful with the girls of the same age as he was himself. He did not have many friends among young people. He felt that the older people had more appreciation in his style of life. Seemed that the older people were able to put value on his serious approach to the life. Mike had good relations with many successful men among older people through his work as lawyer and especially translator. So, he hoped for a successful affair with his colleague woman. Mike could not substitute for sex anymore in the presence of such a strong passion. It would be too much of the down cast. And, he would know they made fun of him. Mike began to forbear. All his feelings got more acute. Even by an occasional touch to the object of his love, he would experience a deep interior sense of happiness of being close to the source of joy and gladness. It was something special to get touched by her by an occasional encounter. Any contact of closeness acquired the tinge of intimacy. Even a should-have-been-occasional touch of their bodies in the narrow ways of the office room where they worked all three because the organization had to move to another address brought about the bliss in Mike’s heart. All his senses sharpened. It all turned into a kind of harassment on Mike’s part. He got bolder and bolder, cheekier and cheekier. She did not make Mike understand he was impertinent. It was a certain advantage for her that a young man sought for her disposition toward himself. Mike made his offer more and more precise. He wanted to get this woman. He even received the support of his mother after a talk. So, it was in vain that the colleague woman claimed herself to be afraid lest Mike’s mom should be negative on the idea of a romance between him and her. All the flirt had no character of seriousness. It was as if Mike played jokes, and the woman that was older condescended to his foolishness, still pretending to be bothered.
Mike had a serious feeling. He knew for the woman it was a joy that a boy wooed her. Perhaps, she got acclimatized to it by a long work in the school. She was pretty indeed. So, it was not something new for her. She lived much time as a lonely woman. It could be possible that it had been along with the consequences involved. Now, she had a kind of a husband any woman is keen to have. It was a man, who previously had a rather bad wife that drank much, was unruly and frequently absent from the home. That’s what a woman always seeks in the looming of the oldness. A reliable man, who was accustomed to a worse life to appreciate the alliance and would close the eyes on the rich past of the woman. So, the colleague woman had a good rear. And, it would be hard for her to exchange what she had for about ten years of fun with a young man. The fun which she had already when was young herself.
‘I’m too old for you,’ she said once.
Of course, Mike objected by some complements that good wine and good cars become only more precious with the years.
Anyway, Mike had to quit his work because he overheated himself. For half a year he intensively studied English, law and economics, living on medical care benefits and waiting for the end of his contract term. Before the end of the term, he went out to work for about a month. The woman was very disappointed that it all turned out this way. She anticipated that she would make fun of Mike’s lonely sexual existence, but he preferred sickness to humiliation. Mike would look at the woman when she got into his office room for some files. She was disappointed. And, Mike believed that he got what he aimed for. Perhaps, her heart was also wounded. She acquired much. She complained about sexual harassment to the boss who also was a young woman a bit older than Mike to drive her envious and jealous. She could say to her husband she was popular with the young man and needed a protection. Her stakes grew up. But, she also lost. She lost a possibility. Mike was more damaged, of course, as it always was with him, in terms of health and short term life prospects. But maybe she was also touched by it?
Mike left the office for a work in another town. Several times he dropped into the office. Often, it was in the end of the working hours, and they had tea. Clients often kind of grafted the staff with chocolates and candy for a prompter work. He would tell about his life and achievements. The woman was always kind. She never was grouchy. Even before.
Once she asked, ‘How’s your Violetta?’
‘She’s not Violetta, she’s Benedicta.’ Mike objected.
‘So, you enchanted her?’ she asked.
‘I always enchant.’ Mike answered.
The woman got offended and was not ashamed to show it. She turned her head toward the window and asked some question of the other woman that had an archivist job. Surely, this question was not urgent one. It was about the last time Mike saw her.
He had dreamed in the days of his work in the office that this woman would rent a flat and leave her husband. Once, it seemed to Mike that it was so, when he already took Julia for a wife. But, the woman surely lost her chance of some fresh emotions in her life. Mike was sick. He could afford to meet with a woman more advanced in age. Nobody would blame him for it. Mike could guarantee ten years of love at least, before he would naturally seek another woman. Even, then he would not have left her completely. She lost her chance. Mike was much further ahead now. He surely did not need her. But, in the days when he dreamed of her…
He loved a song of the English singer whose name was Sting, which was popular in that time. It was about this way: ‘You forget the sun in this jealous sky among the fields of moor. And, the barley rises as you kiss a mouth among the field of gold. You can tell the sun in this jealous sky among the fields of moor. And, the children run as the sun goes down among the fields of gold, among the fields of gold.’
Mike interpreted the word ‘moor’ for the Moor. For him the song was about a crusader that went to the East to find an Arab girl and to take her to his home in England. Mike always felt this way. It seemed to him that he waged a war to get a woman of an Eastern beauty as a trophy.